sinfulduck

[sinfulduck]

Self therapy session with Duck

Me: I was just rejected and utterly humiliated online. I can’t move on from it and I’m paralyzed.

Duck: hey, rejection and humiliation are part of life. Many people experience it online. You should accept what happened and forgive yourself. That will help you move on.

Me: you’re right but how do I do that?

Duck: well what happened?

Me: I posted in a sub Reddit to voice my opinion. People did not receive it well, I was ridiculed and I felt so humiliated I deleted my account.

Duck: why did you post on there?

Me: I wanted some support I guess. I thought more people would share my opinion. I was dead wrong though and now I feel so hurt.

Duck: it’s human instinct to want to seek out community. I understand why you wanted to do that and there is no shame in wanting support. What we have to remember is that online communities are not always supportive. Can you think about the other perspective? About why they responded this way?

Me: yes… I was dramatic, I am dramatic. I mean… I’m talking to myself right now. I think I worded it wrong as well, I’m not sure my intentions were communicated clearly. I can understand why someone would react negatively, not everyone thinks the way I do. But I also don’t think they read the entire thing. That may also have been due to me wording it wrong. But really did have the best intentions.

Duck: do you think you can rectify the situation ? Can you talk to them ? Clarify your intentions ?

Me: no… it’s Reddit…. I mean I want to. In many ways the response confirmed everything I said. I had a parasocial relationship with these people and they didn’t actually care about me, the community as well I don’t know them personally. In many ways, they are right. But no, I can’t try to rectify things. Reddit is scary.

Duck: so you are feeling humiliated, what else ?

Me: hatred toward myself. I feel small, like I want to disappear and run away. I feel alone. I felt like I was part of something bigger than myself but now I’m flying solo I guess. And intense regret for doing that.

Duck: why do you regret it?

Me: well… I guess it’s becuase I wish i could’ve avoided these consequences. I don’t regret what I said. I stand by it. I will not support companies that do not denounce genocide.

Duck: so you wish you left quietly, not posted, just unfollowed them.

Me: yes and no. I do not believe in going peacefully into the light. I am kinda proud of myself for making a bit of a stink. I mean… I really pissed some people off. There were so many comments. I hope this starts a discussion, I hope the guys see what I wrote, I hope others will take a stand. But at the same time, I feel awful.

Duck: hey bro, you tried doing something really hard. Activism isn’t easy, despite what people may think. It involves being vulnerable and putting yourself out there. Yes you may not have done it perfectly, but be kind to yourself. You’ll get the hang of it eventually, and no matter how you word it not everyone is gonna agree with you. But that’s okay! Because you don’t need other people to validate your opinions.

Me: you’re right. I know you’re right. But I still feel terrible.

Duck: don’t deny your emotions, don’t try to intellectualize yourself out of it too. Yes, talking like this is better than just rotting away in your bed, but you should tell someone about how you’re feeling too. Talking will help you process your emotions.

Me: and if I have no one ?

Duck: treat yourself with some compassion broski. You def have people. You don’t have to do it right away. Take a few days if you have to. Shower, do your skin care, this will stop you from overthinking the situation. Go to the gym, practice mindfulness, and talk to me. Your imaginary duck therapist.

Me: you’re right. I think I will take a shower. But I can’t stop thinking about it.

Duck: hey, that’s okays how about we reframe the scenario? Maybe there’s a lesson here, you can take this experience and help you grow. Could you do that?

Me: yes, I can grow from this. I need to stop relying on others to validate my thoughts and feelings. I need to learn that shame does not define me, my mistakes do not define me…. And I need to not be so dramatic.

Duck: that’s great! But hey, being dramatic is not necessarily a bad thing. I think a lot of people like you because of your antics. It’s charming.

Me: okay we need to stop this before I just start ego stroking. Thanks duck!!

Duck: no problem, sexy ;)

[sinfulduck]

I want what they have