sinfulmyrick

[sinfulmyrick]

I Spin For You Like Your Favorite Records Used to (SL with @BluesAndSorrow, @DayDividesNight @APerfectSong_)

Cay: ^Waking up had been an experience. Part of me had forgotten what had happened with Sir last night. But then everything came rushing back to me. There was a reason I was still in bed with him. There was a reason I didn’t go home. And my body was screaming. I hurt in places I hadn’t hurt in a very long time. But that was to be expected. But that wasn’t the real reason I hadn’t gone home. No, I knew the real reason while I was curled against Sir’s chest.

I love you.

Three words that had the biggest impact on every relationship I had at the moment. Three words that could do two things to the relationships I was currently in. They could break it completely or strengthen it. It was only a matter of where Nightingale and Daddy fell on this discussion. I knew the truth, though. There was no way it wasn’t going to impact the four of us positively. I knew Daddy better than anyone.

He was in love with Nightingale. His little Songbird. I knew it long before I was willing to admit my feelings for Sir. There was a reason that her nickname was written next to mine on the wall. We were the only two names that were next to Daddy’s easel. We were the two things that inspired him the most. We were the things he loved the most. And Watson didn’t count in that regard. Nightingale was something Daddy needed. Almost as much as he needed me. I hadn’t been lying to Sir when I said that Daddy loved her. It may not have come out of his mouth yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he confronted his feelings when we all decided to sit down and talk.

One of the things Sir and I had discussed last night was when were we going to talk to Daddy and Nightingale. I had told him that I needed to talk to Cassidy first. It wasn’t a lie. I was going to be pulling Lindsay away from the shop today. None of the usual suspects would be there to run it. So I needed her to do it. I wasn’t willing to put this conversation off any longer than necessary. And the only reason it hadn’t happened yet was because we were all in different places. It was just a matter of waiting for Cassidy to text me back.

Sir had been right in keeping me with him, though. I was more bruised than I had been. There is no way in hell that I would have been able to get in a car last night. I was actually a little concerned about getting into a car today. It was part of the reason I wanted to have the conversation here. Part of me was terrified that I was going to be too fragile to move.

I knew where the conversation was going to take place. And I was going to make sure that both Nightingale and I were the most comfortable in our surroundings. I knew that she was going to be the most comfortable here. And that was something I’d give her. Plus, her and Sir had more space to have this conversation. I didn’t want her to feel attacked. That wasn’t what this was about. It was just about the four of us talking.

My phone chimed with a text from Cassidy agreeing to take over the shop today. She asked what to do with Watson, and I simply responded with take him to his Daddy. She didn’t need to know that I wasn’t there with him. But Cassidy was also familiar with the relationship I had with Sir. So it wouldn’t have come as a shock for me to tell her to bring him here.

I felt the man next to me stirring, so I let out a soft giggle. Arms wound around my hips to pull me back against him as kisses were pressed against my shoulders and neck. “Cardinal, why are you awake so early? Come back and lay with me. I’m not ready for you to leave this bed.” I shook my head as I cuddled in closer to Sir. He was right. There was no reason that I should have been awake. But I was used to being up to take care of Watson. But that was something I didn’t need to explain to him. Right now, I could just give him what he wanted. Someone to just hold on to. The last few moments before everything either came together like I thought it would, or completely fall apart.^

Wes:  -Waking up with Cay in my arms was more than a little surreal. Since we’d all determined this wasn’t going to be a thing when everything between us began, it wasn’t something I’d ever thought was going to happen. Now, I was pretty sure it was something that I wanted to happen a hell of a lot more often. The only way that was going to happen was if we worked things out with Myrick and Lindsay. We couldn’t sneak around. That wouldn’t have been fair to any of us. If a relationship like the one we were in was going to work out, it meant that everyone involved was going to have to be completely honest with everyone else.

That was why I’d texted Myrick and Lindsay last night to tell them we needed to meet up together to have a talk. I knew that Cay wasn’t going to feel like moving this morning when she woke up. It was just going to be a matter of her resting before she was going to be back at a hundred percent. I still felt bad about going too far, but I knew the reasons for it. Hearing her actually say that she loved me on top of the fact that I hadn’t spent any time with her in weeks was just more than the two of us could process in the moment.

For now, I could keep her in my arms until we had to get out of bed and get things going for the day. She was going to need my help to get ready before everything got started. I was just enjoying keeping her in my arms. I hadn’t known why she woke up so early, but I’d been awake since the sun had started rising, just enjoying the fact that the two of us were here together.

I’d been thinking about all the possibilities since she had said those three words. It changed things, but it opened up some doors I hadn’t considered before now. I just had to run all of them by the other two important people in our lives before anything was final.

Leaning forward, I pressed a kiss to the crown of her head and tucked her more deeply into my arms. I wasn’t going to let her move as long as I could keep her right here-  

So, how did you sleep?

Cay: ^I let out a soft laugh as Sir asked how I slept. And it was a loaded answer. But it was absolutely something I was happy about. It had been too long since I was able to have a full night of sleep. With Watson in the house, I was awake every few hours for a feeding. It was getting better now that he was starting to sleep through the night, but I was always going to get up at dawn to make sure my son didn’t need anything. The mornings where I was awake before Daddy meant that I got to sit in my rocking chair in the nursery and just hold my son. It was a whole new experience. And Watson was everything to me. And knowing that Daddy was there to help was a relief.

But I couldn’t hide the pleasure from my voice as I softly purred against Sir’s neck. I enjoyed the feeling of waking up in his arms more than I wanted to admit out loud. It was something I was hoping was going to happen more often. But we weren’t going to be able to make any plans until Daddy and Nightingale got here. The discussion we were going to have was massive. But we needed to be open about everything. It was the only way our relationship was going to work.^

Do you know how long it has been since I’ve been able to sleep in? And yes, I am aware that sleeping past 7 isn’t exactly sleeping in. But when you run a business and have a baby, the hours of the day tend to blend together.

^I didn’t hesitate to press my lips against Sir’s. I didn’t want him to think that I didn’t want to be here. In this moment, it was the only place I wanted to be. I was happy right where I was. I really had no desire to be anywhere else. There was one thing that was missing, though. I wanted Daddy and Nightingale to be here. But I knew Sir had sent a text to Daddy asking him to bring her over for a talk. It was only a matter of time until they got here. But still, part of me didn’t feel complete without them.^ I like waking up in your arms. I like the idea of us waking up together. I had a dream last night about waking up in your arms. Then again, you started to fuck me as soon as you realized I was awake. And Daddy and Nightingale were right next to us. Doing the same thing. I’m starting to enjoy the idea of the four of us in this bed fucking each other.

Wes:  -I let out a low growl and pulled her in closer, fingers digging gently into her hips as I did so, though I was careful. I knew how she was going to be bruised today, and I was frankly a little concerned that she wasn’t going to be able to get out of the bed without help today as well. It was the only thing that stopped me from pinning her to the bed and making her tell me all about her dream while I made it a reality as much as I possibly could.

There was something about what she was describing that I couldn’t help but find appealing though, and it wasn’t just about her waking up in my arms in the morning. She’d talked about Myrick and Lindsay being here as well. That just pulled me deeper into my thoughts. We needed to figure out something that was a little more workable than the current situation if the two of them were feeling the same way that we were. I suspected that was going to be the case, and everyone’s nerves were going to melt into nothing but relief when we finally brought up the fact that all of us had feelings for each other.

I wasn’t in any kind of doubt that Myrick and Lindsay cared about each other the same way that Cay and I did. It didn’t change any of what I felt about Lindsay or any of what Cay felt about Myrick. There was so much more to all of us than the fact that our feelings were divided between other people. It made everything seem so much more complete when we could have all the sides of what we needed. I just needed to make sure that they felt the same way before we decided the next steps.

I had some ideas, though I didn’t know how much I was going to say to Cay before I brought it up to everyone else. For the moment, I pulled her into my embrace even deeper, pressing a long kiss to her lips before I murmured against them-

Trust me, I’d enjoy that more than I have words to share, Cardinal. I could be a damned happy man waking up to fuck you every morning right alongside the both of them.

Cay: ^There was a lot I wanted to say. And there was even more that I wanted to act upon. But I knew the truth. Daddy and Nightingale were, more than likely, on their way here. And we both needed to get up and get ready for them. I didn’t want anyone thinking that we were walking into this like it wasn’t a serious conversation. It was extremely serious. But I also knew the realization about what was going to happen.

Daddy and Nightingale were going to walk into the house either seeing me in the barely there dress I had worn for Sir last night, or they were going to see me in a pair of Sir’s boxers and a button up shirt. There was no other option. None of us had been prepared for what was going to happen. None of us knew that we were going to be swapping partners for the night. But it was something that had to happen. This was the way that things had to be.

Taking one more kiss from Sir’s lips, I let out a groan as I rolled onto my back. The pain wasn’t too bad, but there was a sting there. I knew that it looked worse than it felt. I was used to what happened to my skin. The men in my life weren’t.^ We need to get ready for Daddy and Nightingale. Can I wear some of your clothes? Since this wasn’t supposed to be a thing, I wasn’t exactly prepared.

Wes: -She was right. I knew they were on the way by now, and we both needed to get dressed. The clothes she wore here last night weren’t exactly the thing she needed to greet Myrick and Lindsay in, so deciding to grab her one of my shirts and a pair of my boxers was a quick decision. I leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead-

Wait here, I’ll bring you something to wear and help you get out of bed, alright?

-She gave me a simple nod, and I grinned moving towards the closet to grab one of my white button downs and a pair of boxers for her to wear, but first, I was going to get her in the shower. The hot water was exactly what she needed to loosen up the muscles that were going to be aching and sore after what happened last night. It had been a long time since she’d been down in the playroom and put her body through all of that, and her body had been through a lot in the intervening time. Anything that I could do to help her make sure that she was as comfortable as possible was exactly what was going to happen.

I slipped into the bathroom to turn on the water and let it heat up while I moved back to her side to help Cay out of the bed slowly.-

Come on, Cardinal. Let’s get you in a hot shower and then dressed.

Lindsay: ^I wasn’t entirely sure why Wes had texted Daddy and asked for the two of us to come over and talk. I was almost terrified that him and Cay knew what was going on. And it scared me to hear what they were going to say. But Daddy had made sure that I knew everything was going to be okay. This wasn’t something to be afraid of. We were going to be fine. There was no harm that could come from a talk.

I was actually supposed to be in the shop today . But when Cassidy had stopped by with Watson, she said that Cay had already texted her. She was going to take over the shop today. We were to just go spend time with the four of us. Cassidy had a knowing smile on her face, but I wasn’t sure what she was so smiley about.

Daddy was still running around the condo making sure that he had everything we were going to need at the townhouse. This was the first time we were taking Watson over there, but there was no other option. And I knew how much both Cay and Daddy had missed having the little boy around. I could only cuddle him a little closer as Daddy counted through everything one more time. I couldn’t help but let out a little smile. Looking down at the baby in my arms, I gently rubbed my nose against his.^ Your Daddy is acting silly. Uncle Wes and I baby proofed the townhouse as soon as your mommy had you. We wanted to make sure it was safe for you.

^We didn’t have a full set up for Watson at the house, but we did have some things. There were a few toys that I kept in my old room , and Wes had been adamant about getting a pack and play for him. Just so Myrick and Cay weren’t holding him the entire time. We both knew that Watson coming over was an inevitability. It was just a matter of time before it had actually happened.^

You know I have most of what you’re trying to pack at the townhouse, right? The only thing you really need to grab are diapers and some formula. Wes and I wanted to make sure he had some stuff there in case you and Cay wanted to take some time away just the two of you. We know that Cassidy would be the first person you guys go to to watch him, but we’ve been prepared in case you needed us.

Myrick: -I glanced up at what I was getting together to laugh softly at Lindsay cuddled up with Watson watching me anguish over what to pack. I was clueless about what he was going to need, but it was just like Lindsay and Wes to prepare for him before ever telling either of us about it. It just made me that much more convinced that what had happened last night had been a good thing for all four of us.

I knew Lindsay was nervous, and I knew that something was up the second that Cay and Wes had asked us to come to them. Cay might not be able to get out of bed this morning depending on what had happened, but that didn’t warrant the two of us coming to them. I could bring Lindsay home. Wes could take care of Cay on his own. I could handle the baby, though I knew Cay would be missing him by now. It was the first night she’d spent without him.

There was just more to all of this than was on the surface, and I had faith that everything was going to work out for the best once we got it all out in the open. For now, I just needed to make sure that Lindsay and Watson were happy and comfortable and get them out into the car and on the way to Wes and LIndsay’s place. I grabbed the diaper bag I’d already put diapers and a few bottles into and moved over to press a kiss to her forehead.-

Well, it seems like you’re one step ahead of me here, Songbird. You ready to take the little one and get him into the car?

Lindsay: ^I could only look up at Daddy and smile. There was something about being able to take care of the baby in my arms while he took care of me. It was something I kind of craved. But at the same time, it wasn’t something any of us were ready to deal with. There would be more time to plan for everything once we had this chat.

Was I nervous about what was about to happen? Absolutely. But at the same time, I knew this needed to happen. We all needed to figure out what was best. We needed to communicate. And we couldn’t hide. Only bad things would come if we hid. It was the last thing I wanted.

Taking another kiss from Daddy’s lips, I looked up at him with a raised brow. I knew he had been running around like a crazy person this morning. He was trying to get everything together for Watson that he had forgotten about another important person.^

Did you pack clothes for Cay? If I know Wes, I know the kind of dress he had her downstairs in. It’s definitely not appropriate for her to wear anywhere other than the playroom.

^I saw the way Daddy’s face paled when I brought up a change of clothes for his other girl. I couldn’t help the small giggle that slipped through my lips. Going back to the townhouse in my outfit was nothing. I could go to the shop in this outfit. But I knew what Wes liked in his playroom. It left very little to the imagination.^ I put a pair of yoga pants and one of your button downs in my bag while you were in the shower. I figured you’d be preoccupied with getting Watson ready to go. So I’m ready to leave whenever you are.

Myrick:  -I was kicking myself for not thinking of bringing Cay something to wear when I knew she’d left in something that wasn’t going to be suitable to wear around for most of the day last night. It just wasn’t something I was used to thinking about most of the time, and it wasn’t something we thought we were going to have to plan for. She wasn’t supposed to be spending the entire night there. The plan had been for her to come home and for Lindsay to go back to Wes before the night was through. That plan had fallen though, though, and I knew it was just going to happen again in the future unless something changed. We all needed to talk about this, and this morning was probably going to be the first step towards all of that. I couldn’t help feeling nervous at what was about to happen.

I moved to help Lindsay up, letting her keep Watson in her arms until we got out to the car where I could put him in his carseat. I knew she liked having him, and he liked her just as much. Watson was going to be one spoiled little boy before all was said and done. All that was left to do now was to get everyone out to Wes and Lindsay’s place so that we could have our talk and figure out what was going to happen next.- Come on, let’s get this show on the road, Songbird.

-I leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead, nuzzling into her shoulder before we left to whisper softly against her ear-

I love you.

Lindsay: ^Getting down to Daddy’s car was like blinking. But his words were ringing in my ear. And this might be the last time I was going to hear them. I needed to not think like that, though. I needed to remind myself that this was going to be okay. One way or another, it would work out. My voice was small as I returned the sentiment.^ I love you, too.

^Taking a breath, I let myself relax against the seat. I needed to remember that this was okay. Me being in love with Daddy was okay. It was something I could talk to Sir and Cay about. It wasn’t something that was the end of the world.

I could feel myself going into a panic, but there was so much I needed to figure out. There was no real reason to worry. At least, not yet. No one had said that this couldn’t happen. No one was leaving me.

But as we pulled up to the townhouse, I felt my hands start to shake. The panic was going to take over if I let it. I needed to preoccupy myself. I didn’t wait for Daddy to open my door before I was out of my seat and pulling Watson out of the car. He was the one thing that would keep me calm for the moment.^

Wes: -I heard the car pull up long before I heard Myrick and Lindsay come in the front door. Cay was just finishing up putting on some of my clothes and settling back into the bed when I heard their voices on the stairs and called down to them-

We’re upstairs in the bedroom.

-I turned back to face Cay with a reassuring grin. I didn’t know what was about to happen, but I needed both of my girls to be alright with what was going on. I knew we all had feelings I wasn’t blind to any of that, but pushing everyone into confessing it was bound to have an effect on some of us. I was particularly concerned about how Lindsay was going to take the revelation.

I knew Cay already understood that there was mutual emotions happening on all sides of our relationship. I just didn’t know if Lindsay had fully realized what was going on with all four of us yet, even if those emotions were there under the surface, and if she did, I wasn’t certain how she was going to react to telling me about it after everything we’d been through. She’d had so much trouble just admitting to me that she had feelings, I wasn’t sure she was going to be able to do it for Myrick without some kind of toll on her emotions.

Sitting on the edge of the bed next to Cay, I pulled her into my side to steal one last kiss. I could hear the footsteps on the landing just outside the bedroom.-

Well, I guess here goes nothing.

Cay: ^I let out a soft squeak as Daddy and Lindsay walked into the room. Although, I was a little surprised to see Lindsay carrying Watson. It wasn’t something I had a problem with, but I knew Daddy was going to want to have time with him, too. But maybe there was a reason she was holding my son. It seemed like she was trying to distract herself from what was about to happen. And I wasn’t sure if she was aware of what was going on. She just looked terrified.

I could only smile as Daddy leaned down to press a kiss to the top of my head. Lindsay placed Watson into my arms with a nervous smile before she started to dig into Daddy’s bag. Pulling out the pink button up that was in there, she quickly made her way to the ensuite after stopping to grab a pair of pants from the dresser.

My teeth gently pressed against my lip as I thought about what we were doing. I didn’t know if this was the right thing to be doing, but I didn’t want anyone to feel like we were doing anything wrong. And I wasn’t sure if having Watson in the room for the conversation was the right move. But both Sir and Lindsay needed to see what they were going to be walking into if this went further than last night. My eyes found Daddy’s as I raised a brow.^ Did Aunt Cassidy say if he has eaten this morning or not?

Myrick: -I nodded and tucked a stray strand of hair behind Cay’s ear before I replied, my eyes following LIndsay as she walked out of the room into the bathroom to change clothes. I was glad to see that Cay had something to wear, but it worried me a little that Lindsay disappeared without a word. The look in her eyes told me she was scared of what was about to happen, but I wasn’t sure if she was going to come out of that shell once we got started talking.-

She said he drained a bottle before she put him in the car and brought him over to the condo.

-I reached down , tapping the tip of my index finger against his nose as I glanced up to see Lindsay come back into the room wearing the button down she’d packed along with a pair of her own pants from the dresser in the bedroom. She still had that same stricken look on her face, like she’d done something terribly wrong and was just waiting on her punishment to be handed down. I didn’t like that look.

I glanced around the room at everyone assembled there. There was so much we all needed to talk about and I wasn’t sure that any of us knew where or how to begin. I knew from just looking at Cay and Wesley that they were in exactly the same boat that Lindsay and I had found ourselves in. It was all just a matter of getting it out in the open. I wasn’t usually the brave one, but some part of me wanted to be the brave one right now.

I stood up, resting my hand on Cay’s shoulder while I took one last long look around the room.-

So, I think the four of us have a few things to talk about.

Lindsay: ^I quickly settled back into the bed where the other three were waiting. I saw Daddy standing with his hand on Cay’s shoulder. And I wanted to curl up in Wesley’s lap. But I wasn’t sure if it was going to be welcome. Not after the bombshell I was about to drop on the two of them.

It scared me. I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle having to choose one or the other. Both men brought something out in me that I was missing. But I wasn’t sure how to communicate that to Wes. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. I saw his hand reach out for mine, but I felt myself flinch as a single tear slid down my cheek. I wasn’t sure what was going on. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to say this. I wasn’t sure of anything. But Daddy had told me it was all going to work out. One way or another.

My voice was small, though. I had to be the one to say something. I had to be the one to bring the topic up.^ I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I didn’t mean to fall in love with Daddy. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Sir. And I definitely didn’t mean to hurt you, Strawberry Fields.

^The nickname was something that had just come to me. But I could feel the sadness in that song. It was like there was something major that was ending. And I was the one that was ruining everything for her. I was, essentially, tearing apart her family. And I wasn’t sure how to handle that. I wasn’t sure how to handle any of this.^

Wes: -I heard the sound in Lindsay’s voice that told me she was falling apart with the first words out of her mouth, and by the time she was done, I was already up and out of my seat to move over to where she was standing. I wasn’t quite sure what had happened between the two of them, but I had a feeling it was something similar to what had gone on here last night.

I reached her in a moment, though she flinched away from me when I reached out to touch her. I’d seen her like this before. She felt guilty, and she was already punishing herself for whatever had happened. The first time I’d blindfolded her she’d been like this. There had been a few since then, but it always boiled down to her punishing herself for something she thought she’d done wrong. I wasn’t about to let that happen though.-

Rose, look at me.

-She still wasn’t going to let me touch her, but I was going to push her as much as I could-

Listen, you don’t have a thing to be sorry for. You haven’t hurt anyone yet. I think we all knew there were feelings there beyond what any of us were expecting. I promise you don’t have anything to apologize for.

Cay: ^There was no other way around it. This was what she was terrified about. I knew the moment she said she hadn’t meant for this to happen that I was right. She had fallen in love with Daddy. And to me, it wasn’t a big deal. Not when I was about to tell her that I was in love with her Sir.

I could only watch the two of them from my spot on the bed. I wasn’t up for doing too much moving. There was no way it was going to be a thing right now. I was still too sore to do much of anything. But I could try to talk her off of this ledge she seemed to put herself on.^

Nightingale, I promise. It’s okay that you love Daddy. I know you’re not trying to hurt me or Sir. I know what you’re going through. I know how hard it is to come to terms with what you’re feeling. Especially when there’s more than one person involved. But you’re not ruining anything. You’re just making things a little bit better. It just means we’re all on the same page. You love Daddy like I love Sir. And that’s okay. I promise.

Myrick:  -I frowned when I saw her fall apart from my spot on the bed, and as glad as I was to be next to Cay again, I still couldn’t let her be this upset on her own. Wesley was at her side, but I needed to make sure she knew that everything was alright. I leaned in to press a kiss to Cay’s forehead.

It took me a moment to process everything that was going on. Cay was saying she loved Wesley, and it was something I knew was true even if she’d never said it before. It made me feel less guilty about pulling Lindsay into my arms and crushing her to my chest in a hug for a moment before I pulled away just a little looking around the room-

I think we all had a lot more feelings here than we ever intended to have. I wasn’t trying to fall in love with her. She wasn’t with me. I know you two probably feel the same way. I just think it’s definitely something we all have to talk about since up until now, all of this was basically against the rules we set up in the beginning.

Lindsay: ^Both men were next to me. Whispering that all of this was okay. But it was the woman on the bed that I was most concerned about. She may have had a baby in her arms, but this was what had initially scared me about telling everyone I was in love with Daddy.

To be honest, it was a relief to know that Cay loved Sir, though. It made me realize that I didn’t do anything wrong. This wasn’t my fault. And I did nothing wrong. If I had done something wrong, we had all done something wrong. And I was beginning to see that this wasn’t something that was bad. This was okay to happen. None of us were trying to hurt anyone else, and this was the best case scenario.

I nodded my head at the two men that stood near me. I knew I had hurt Sir by not letting him near me. But I was terrified that I was hurting him the most. Even though I loved Daddy, Sir was still one of the most important people in my life. I let my hand reach for his as I kept my eye on Strawberry Fields.

I didn’t know what was going through her mind, but I didn’t want her to feel left out about any of this. And I was hoping she wasn’t feeling that way.^ I don’t want you thinking I’m trying to take both of them away from you. And I know it kind of looks that way right now. But I’m not. I’m just freaking out a little bit. Because I didn’t want anyone thinking this was my plan the entire time.

Cay: ^I knew that it wasn’t the case. And I knew why she was concerned. I had told her about what had happened to Daddy and I before. She knew all about the pain the two of us endured. But this was different. It wasn’t just about me. And it wasn’t just about her. There were two other men in the equation. And they both needed to speak up.

Leaning my head down, I gently pressed a kiss to my son’s head as he started to drift off to sleep. It gave me the moments I needed to gather my thoughts. I didn’t want to hurt Nightingale. I wanted her to know that this was okay. She needed to know that I had seen this coming.^

Daddy is a very easy man to fall in love with. I know. He makes you feel like you’re the most precious thing in his world. And you are, Nightingale. You’re one of the things that he holds closest to his heart. There’s a reason I painted your name next to mine in his studio. You’ve become just as much of an inspiration for him as I have been. I do not hold that against you. I could tell you were in love with him. And I know that he loves you.

^I was suddenly doubting everything. I wasn’t sure what the right move to make way. I couldn’t exactly panic because of the baby in my arms, but there were a million and one things rolling through my head. I didn’t know if I wanted to continue to have this conversation. I could only see the things I was doing wrong.

And I had to be doing something wrong. It wasn’t that I knew I was a bad person. And it wasn’t that I had to be the center of attention, but I needed someone to see what I was going through. And with Daddy and Sir’s attention on Nightingale, neither one of them saw the slippery slope I was starting to fall down.^

Wes: -I wasn’t sure how anyone was going to take the conversation we were about to have, but I was bound and determined to do my best to make sure that neither one of the girls fell apart while this was happening. That was why I was kicking myself the moment I glanced over at Cay sitting on the bed with Watson in her arms. Everyone was focused on Lindsay for the moment, but she wasn’t the only one who was going to doubt herself. I knew they were both going to need attention while all of this was going on.

When Myrick came to Lindsay’s side, I moved back to Cay on the bed, sitting across from her to run a hand across her leg. I couldn’t pull her into my arms when she holding the baby, but I could remind her that I was there. I looked up to the others across the room, nodding towards the edge of the bed. There was room for all of us here, and I thought we needed to be closer together than we were at the moment.-

Why don’t we all get over here. I know we have a lot to discuss, but I don’t want any of us to feel like we’re being left out of all of this. That’s only going to make everything shut down.

-I waited for Myrick and Lindsay to come join us sitting on the bed before I slid an arm around Cay and let her lean into my side.-

I don’t know what we were really expecting when all of this began. I just know we were stupid to think there weren’t going to be feelings involved. Something about all of this was inevitable. And I know Cay says Myrick is easy to love, but I think there’s just something about each of us that we need. Every one of us brings a piece to this relationship that the others can’t do with out. So, I don’t think we need to fight it. We just need to figure out how we’re all going to do this together.

-Maybe I was being pushy. It was one of the things I was good at. But I needed to get to the heart of what was going on here with the four of us. I needed Cay in my life as much as I needed Lindsay, and I knew the two of them both needed Myrick in theirs. We just had to work out the details.-

Lindsay: ^I couldn’t stop myself from being wrapped around Daddy when we both sat on the bed. I could see the look on Cay’s face, though. She was close to spiraling. And it seemed like the only thing keeping her together was the baby in her arms. I didn’t want her to fall apart, though. Yes, there was a lot we needed to talk about. But there was also the fact that I knew what she was worried about. Her fears were starting to come to fruition. While I was worried about everyone’s reaction, she was left alone. And it was that small moment that made her feel insignificant.

My voice was soft as I tried to get everything to come out without sounding overbearing. There was a lot that could happen with this situation. But I needed everyone to know that this was okay. There just needed to be some kind of order to everything.^ As much as I love both of you, everyone needs to understand that there are two women in this relationship that both have a tendency to get lost in their own heads. Cay and I are very much the same kind of person. We’re both going to question everything when we’re watching the other dynamics. As much as I would love for there to be no insecurities, there are. For that reason, I’m not sure if it’s ever a good idea for both of you to focus on one girl. I mean, it’ll be different when I’m in the studio. Sir knows how I get when I’m recording. As much as I cling, I also need my own space to work on getting the album together.

^Taking a breath, I had to gather myself. I wanted to put Cay’s fears ahead of my own. And I knew what she was going through. Especially since having the baby.^ You having Watson hasn’t changed anything for either of the men sitting on this bed. They both still want you. They both still love you. And I know you don’t think that you’re attractive because of the weight you put on, but you are. And I think they love you more because of the life that you brought into the world. They aren’t going to walk away from you just because you’re a mother. And they aren’t going to leave you if you decide that you’re happier with the small amount of weight that you’ve put on since Watson was born. They want you happy. That’s the most important thing, Strawberry Fields. You deserve to be just as happy as the three of us.

Myrick: -I reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Cay’s ear. I knew she was trying to hide what she was going through, but I could see it written all over her face. We were all nervous here. I knew I was. I could see that the girls were. Wesley was the only one I couldn’t read completely. I knew him fairly well, thought not nearly so well as the girls did. It made sense that they spent much more time with him than I ever did.

I just wasn’t certain how all of this was going to work. I couldn’t exactly wrap my head around it entirely. There were a lot of details we were going to have to figure out, and I could feel my head swimming a little at the idea of all of it. I just hoped that Wes had a better head on his shoulders for all of this than I did.

The main goal in my mind was to make sure that everyone got what they needed out of all of this. I needed both of them. I loved Cay and Lindsay equally though in different ways. We all complimented each other in our own ways-

Baby Love, I adore you. Now, more than ever, and Watson is most definitely a part of that. Nothing else matters. I love you for you, and nothing else. I love Lindsay, too, and I can’t imagine life without either of you. I just want to make sure all of this works out for all of us, and that no one walks out of here feeling like they’re less important than anyone else.

Cay: ^I could hear what they were saying. But I wasn’t sure how much of that was sinking in. I could feel the way my hands were shaking, so I knew I was starting down a slippery slope. Laying the baby on the bed in front of me, I let the confusion start to take hold. I knew that there was no way this was going to work if I hid anything from anyone. So they all needed to see where my head was at.

I knew my emotions were all over the place, but I wasn’t sure what to do about them. Especially when everything had seemed so right the night before.  it was as if everything was different now that we were all sitting here talking about it. I wasn’t sure what the right move to make was, and I didn't know if this was the right thing to be doing. I could only let my fears come to the surface.^

I don’t want anyone to hate me because I want this. I don’t want Sir to get upset if I decide I want time with Daddy. And vice versa. I don’t want Nightingale to get upset if I decide I need time with Sir when it’s supposed to be her turn. And I don’t want anyone to get mad at me if I need to tend to the baby before I can get in the headspace for whoever needs me.

^I knew I was putting a lot of pressure on myself. And I was only going to crack under that pressure. But I needed everyone to see where my head was. There was a lot I hadn’t thought about until now. And there was an innocent baby that was going to put into the middle of all of this. And I wasn’t sure what the proper move to make was.^

Wes: -I was at least glad that Cay was getting out what she was thinking and feeling. I knew that was going to be the key to making all of this work, and I also knew that no one was going to hold it against her if she needed a moment to be a parent, or even just to breathe. I reached down and let the baby she had rested on the bed grab onto my finger as I glanced up at all of them around the bed.-

You know that’s exactly what we all need to do right? I know at least you girls well enough to know that you’ll both repress what you’re really thinking or needed if you think it’s going to hurt someone else. But the thing about all of this is that we all have each other. All you have to do is say what you need, and we really all can make sure that it happens.

I can’t say how everyone’s going to feel all the time. I don’t know who is going to need who at what exact moment. I just know we all need each other. Watson included. What we’re talking about makes us all a family, and he is most certainly a part of that family.

There’s more to what we have going on than just the sexual relationship we started with. It would be weird to include him in that discussion, but we’re not talking about just that. We’re talking about making everyone a permanent part of each other’s lives.

-I leaned in to kiss Cay’s cheek again-

Cardinal, you just have to say what you’re feeling when you’re feeling it.  The same goes for Rose over there. We’re all in this together.

Lindsay: ^I nodded my head as Wes tried to calm Cay. He was right, though. Holding in the emotions was going to do little good with what the four of us were trying to do. We all had to be open about what was going on. And both Cay and Myrick needed to know that we were going to be here to help them with Watson. We were all going to work on raising him together. And Wes and I would do anything in our power to make sure they had the help that they needed.^

Before all of this, you are a mother, Strawberry. There is no one that can take that away from you. And none of us will ever stop you from doing what you need to do to take care of Watson. But we all want you to know that you’re not the only one who wants to take care of him. And it’s not going to fall on you, either.

^I could feel myself relaxing. I wasn’t nearly as scared as I had been when I had walked into this place. We were all on the same page, but there was a lot to work out. And getting it sorted was the highest priority.^

I know you rely on Cassidy and Emily a lot to take care of the baby, but I can take him when I’m not at the shop or in the studio. And I know Wes doesn’t mind watching him when he’s around. You and Daddy aren’t the only two in this. And if, for some reason, you feel like being wrapped up in Wes or Daddy’s arms, one of us can absolutely take care of Watson. I understand that you’re concerned about him. And it’s with good reason, but nothing is going to happen to him. He’s got all the love in the world in this house. None of us are going to neglect him. As important as our relationship is, Watson is absolutely something we have to factor in. Because Wes is right. This isn’t a purely sexual relationship. And if we’re all being honest, it hasn’t been purely sexual in a very long time.

Wes: -Lindsay was right there, and she was hitting exactly on my point. We were a family, and that was exactly what I wanted us to be, just more full time than we ever were. I kept my focus down on Watson for a moment. He wasn’t my biological child, but I wanted to take care of him as much as if he was without taking a moment of that away from Cay or Myrick.

Looking up at the people sitting around my bed as I kept thinking over the possibilities.-

This relationship is a lot of things. Purely sexual probably hasn’t been a realistic expectation since the first time we all were together. It is what it is, and we all feel what we feel. At least, it’s something we all share. We’re a family, at least that’s how I see us, and I want us to actually get the chance to be that.

Lindsay is right. We can all share in taking care of him, if you’ll let us.

Cay: ^It wasn’t something I had talked to Daddy about, but with the words that were coming from Sir and Nightingale, I knew that I was about to make the best decision for our son. And in our own way, he was exactly that. He was our son. Not just mine and Daddy’s. He was a part of Lindsay and Wes. I still wanted them to be his godparents, but there was more to it than that. I wanted them to have a say in his life as much as Daddy and I had.

My words were shy as Sir went back to looking at the baby on the bed. I wasn’t sure how he or Nightingale were going to react to my words, but I knew that they felt right.^ Then we’ll figure out a way for you and Lindsay to be Papa and Momma to him. I know that you’re both his godparents, but I want it to be more than that. I want the two of you to be just as much a part of his life as Daddy and I are. And since my family wants nothing to do with me, and I refuse to let anyone from Daddy’s family outside of Emily have much to do with him, Watson needs all the family that he can get.

^Biting my lip, I kept my eyes away from Daddy’s. I wasn’t sure if I was overstepping my bounds, but it was what I wanted. And I knew it was going to be a legal mess. There was no way all of this was going to be okay in the eyes of the law. But it was the thing that I wanted the most.^

I don’t know how to make that happen. Not with me having a standing engagement to Daddy, and Nightingale’s engagement to Sir. I wish I had the proper answers, but I don’t. I’m just trying to figure out what the right thing for us is. And I’m starting to not make sense. I’m sorry. I’ll just stay over here for a while. At least until I can get myself together.

Myrick:  -What the three of them were saying had gotten the wheels turning in my head. We knew we were a family, but legally speaking that could be an issue unless the four of us were able to find some way to tie everything together. In my head, Watson was the lynchpin in all of this. I had an idea, but I didn’t know how anyone here was going to respond to it. Marriage was a legal contract, not just an emotional one, and we already had the emotional ties that I thought it was going to take to make all of this work.

I took a deep breath, working up the courage to say what was on my mind. I was afraid of how Wesley was going to take it more than anyone else, but all I could do was speak what was on my mind just like we were encourage everyone here to do.-

So, why don’t we change that?

-I could see the confused look on everyone’s face and took a deep breath- Just hear me out completely before any of you speak. Cay is Watson’s mother. I’m his father. On paper… Everything is a hundred percent legal there, whether Cay and I are together or not. So, if Cay were married to Wesley and Lindsay were married to me, it would make you both his step parents. You’d have almost as much legal say as we would. I’m sure we could sign paperwork that would make that completely so, and Emily would be happy to help us get it all together. I just…

-Taking another deep breath, I looked in the eyes of everyone around the bed.-

I don’t want this to make Cay feel like I don’t want to marry her, because I do. And I don’t want Wesley to think I’m taking Lindsay from him either. I just think that it’s the best way to tie us all together. Watson will tie Cay and I together, and the two of you can marry your way into things, at least as far as the court is concerned. In reality, we’re a family, and we’re going to work out the logistics of that between the four of us. Who is on paper as my wife changes absolutely nothing about how I feel about any of you.

Lindsay: ^I knew what Daddy was saying as he said it. Who we married meant absolutely nothing if we were going to keep this relationship the way it was. And I knew that all of us were devoted to the idea of staying together. We were great as the original couples. But as one big couple, we were better. There was no denying that. But I had one stipulation before we made any of it official.^

I agree with Daddy. I love you, Wes. And I have always wanted to be your wife. But on paper, they cannot take Watson from us if I’m his stepmom and you’re his stepdad. We’d have just as much of a right to him as Daddy and Strawberry. But the one thing I think Cay and I should keep are our engagement rings. As much as I would love a ring from Daddy, I still want something that ties me to Wes. So I’d want us to keep the engagement rings that we have.

^Turning my attention to the man sitting on the other side of me, I gave him a small smile. I could only hope he understood what I was trying to say.^ There’s nothing that can take me away from you. Not even if I am Lindsay Baines instead of Lindsay Francis. And as much as everyone at the studio is okay with us being together, it might be easier for other artists if we weren’t technically married. It might make it a little easier for them to work with you if they don’t have to worry about me being in the picture.

Wes: -They both had a point, and it wasn’t something that I would have ever come up with on my own. I was glad that we were all on the same page, and I was even gladder to know that Lindsay was okay with an arrangement like that. The only person left to consult was Cay. I was worried that switching things up would be too much for her.

But Lindsay was right about things relaxing at the studio if she wasn’t my legal wife. And things might even be easier on Myrick with his family, even though I knew Cay and Myrick didn’t give a damn about what they thought. They hadn’t spoken to them since Emily had been kicked out of the house save for the day that his sister in law showed up unannounced and was unceremoniously kicked out of the shop. They just might shut up if he showed up married to an entirely different redhead though, not that it was any of their business.

Some part of me felt immediately glad I was going to get to keep Cay. She was important to me, and I wasn’t sure what I would have done without her. I was also going to get to keep Lindsay. I could be as selfish as I wanted with the both of them. -

I like the idea of keeping the engagement rings. I can get Cay a wedding band, and Myrick can get Lindsay one so that you’ve got something from each of us. It leaves us all a little more connected.

-I glanced over at Cay with a hopeful grin-

So what do you say, Cardinal? Marry me?

Cay: ^I wasn’t sure what was happening around me. But everyone was right. The best way to give Watson all of us was to swap all of the partners. And it wasn’t like any of us had started planning our weddings. I knew that Daddy and I had wanted to wait until Watson was born. But this made sense.

And what Nightingale said made sense. I didn’t want to get rid of my ring. The claddagh meant everything to me. And technically, I wasn’t going to need a traditional wedding band. But I wasn’t going to tell that to anyone. I didn’t want Sir thinking that I didn’t want something from him. Because I did. And this was something I could give him.

The only thing I could do was nod my head, though. I wasn’t sure what else to do. I wasn’t entirely sure how to say anything. But there was so much going through my head. And it made me remember the one time we were in Connecticut. The one thing I had suggested was maybe Daddy should have brought Nightingale with him to meet his family. I was the furthest thing to appropriate with a huge family of society. It was just cementing the fact that I wasn’t worth all of the trouble in my head.

I still wasn’t sure what the right move to make was. I didn’t know how all of this was going to play out, and it scared me. Because I wasn’t good enough on a good day. And now everything I felt in Connecticut seemed to becoming at me full force. My voice was almost broken as I turned to Daddy.^ I told you that Nightingale was always going to be the better choice where your family is concerned. Now you can go back up there with a proper wife and child.

Myrick: -I bit down on the inside of my cheek when she brought up Connecticut. That was a bad weekend, and it struck me that she had said that Songbird would be a better choice to take with me to my parents’ house, and yeah, my parents would have liked her better. But that didn’t make her better for me. I needed them both, and I needed them to be alright with all of this.

I also had this stupid need to make everything better and fix everything. I just didn’t know how I could fix all of this. I reached out, placing my fingers under Cay’s chin to get her to look me in the eye-

I don’t give a damn about my family. And I hope Watson never has the misfortune of meeting a single one of them except Emily. You’re my family. All of you.

-I looked around the bed at the four of us sitting here. This was exactly what we all needed. We needed each other-

I love you. All of you. And I don’t know how to explain that enough. What happens on paper is just paper. What I really need is here.

Lindsay: ^It struck me in that instance just how young Cay was. We were asking her to make a lot of decisions that someone her age didn’t ever have to worry about making. And she was crumbling under the weight of all of it. I wanted to give the guys a moment with Cay. It was absolutely something that she needed. And I was in the right frame of mind to understand that this was something that couldn’t be avoided.

I could only grab the sleeping baby from the bed. I wasn’t sure how much Wes had told her, but my old room had been converted into a makeshift nursery. I had always wanted to be able to take care of Watson. And as his Godparents, Wes and I needed to have a place for him. My voice was soft as I cuddled Watson against my chest.^ She needs both of you to talk her off a ledge. She’s younger than all of us, and she’s got a lot on her plate. We’re all kind of expecting a lot from her at the moment.

^I didn’t say another word before I was out of the room. I settled myself in the rocking chair just inside of my old room. I was confident that we could make all of this work, but it was going to take a lot of communication. And I was starting to realize that Cay wasn’t getting the chance to just act like a teenager. She was being thrown into a huge relationship that required a lot out of her. And that wasn’t including the fact that she was a mother. It was going to be a lot for her.^

Wes: -Once Lindsay took Watson and carried him out of the room, I pulled Cay more firmly into my arms. There was a lot going on, and we both needed to focus on her for the moment. Cay always acted so grown up that it was easy to forget that she was just a teenager, and this was a lot for someone my age. I was thirty years old. I couldn’t imagine being engaged, being a parent, owning a business, and trying to figure out a relationship like this at that point in my life. I’d barely figured out how to do my own laundry by then, and all of us were asking her to work on an entirely different plane than we’d been on when we were that old. At least, all of us but Lindsay. Lindsay understood what it was like to have too much on your plate when you were still technically a teenager.

I just wanted to hold her for a moment, and let her know that I needed her in my life, and I knew Myrick felt the same way-

Love, all I can promise you is that he and I both are head over heels in love with you. You’re the perfect match for both of us in different ways. We need each other. I need you. I know he does too. I’m not sure what either of us would do without you.

Myrick: -Watching Cay made the wheels start turning in my head. I knew her well enough to know when she was keeping something in, and it was the mention of the fact that she was only nineteen that made all of this click into place in my head. She had so much on her plate. She was a mother, she owned a business, she was going to be a wife. It was overwhelming. It had to be.

Someone else her age wasn’t going to have half as many cares to weigh them down, and it looked as if she was losing her entire life to the things she was becoming.-

Baby Love, I need you to know something. Whenever you need a moment or a day or a night or whatever to yourself, we’re right here. This isn’t meant to take you away from anything. We want to be your built-in support system. You’re not the only one who will be taking care of Watson, and the store isn’t something that you have to exclusively take on your shoulders. All you have to do is say the word, and we can step in to make sure that you’ve got the time and support you need. Please don’t forget that, and don’t try to hide your fears. I love you, Baby Love. No matter what.

Cay: ^Under normal circumstances, I hated when anyone brought up my age. I knew how old I was, and I knew I had a lot of responsibilities. And that was without taking this whole thing into consideration. But Lindsay was right to give me a minute with the guys alone. But at the same time, it was just another reminder of why she was so much better at all of this than I was.

I wasn’t going to let anything change, though. I still needed to be in the shop. I was the face of it. There was a reason Mellie had given it to me. I had proven time and time again that I didn’t need her or Cass to watch over my shoulders. And I wasn’t willing to ruin that. It didn’t matter that the shop was officially mine. I still wanted to make Mellie proud of what I was doing with it. I wasn’t going to let my relationship ruin a shop that I had worked hard to own.

My voice was small as I tried to get the right words in place. I wasn’t sure what the right move to make was. I wasn’t entirely sure what the right thing to do was.^ I can’t let things at the shop go. It’s not your job, Daddy. And it’s not even Lindsay’s full-time job. I refuse to pull her away from the label when they need her. And I don’t want to bother you when you’re working on a book. It’s not fair to any of you. None of you asked to be responsible for the shop. That was something that I made happen on my own. I have to put everything I have into it.

And I know that everyone is there to help with Watson. And I know that I need to be better at accepting help with him. Especially if we’re going to take this relationship any further. Because I know that we’re all going to end up under one roof sooner or later. And I need to speak up when I need help. Because punishments will happen if I don’t ask for help.

Wes: -Cay brought up an interesting point. She was right that we would all wind up under the same roof sooner or later. It was honestly my ultimate goal. If I had it my way, we would likely all end up in the same bed every night. There was nothing better I could think of than waking up with both of them every morning.

But if we were going to do that I wanted it to be known what kind of grounds it was on. She talked about punishment, but there was so much more to the way I felt about her than just being her dom. I’d fallen into that hole with Lindsay when we tried to do this 24/7 and wound up hurting ourselves. I didn’t want to make the same mistake with Cay.-

Speaking of punishments, I wanted to discuss this with you, Cardinal. I love you, and there’s so much more to what I feel about you than just being your Sir. We’re going to do this together, and I most definitely want to be your husband. Twenty- four seven isn’t within my abilities to do. We are all going to have points where we need to just be ourselves. I want that with you.

-I could still see the slight panic between her eyes, and I didn’t know if anything I said was going to be enough, especially about the shop. With that, there was the added worry of letting Amelia down, and I knew exactly who was going to be able to talk to her about that. I made a mental note to stop by and see her when I got a chance, but for now, I needed to be sure that both of my girls were going to be alright.-

Cay: ^I was terrified the moment he said that he didn’t want things to be twenty four seven. If I was being honest with myself, I knew that the only person in our relationship able to hold onto that mindset twenty four seven was going to be Daddy. But at the same time, I wasn’t sure if Sir knew why I was going to have a hard time accepting that.

Logically, I knew it was going to be a hard relationship to maintain all the time. Especially around Daddy. Because he negated every other instinct I had. If he was close, I was going to be a little. I wasn’t going to just be Sir’s sub. And those two halves of me were so far apart that I wasn’t sure who was going to win that battle.

But I could feel my breaths coming in shorter pants. This was the thing that had doomed the last relationship Daddy and I had been in. I wasn’t able to figure out how to be what they both wanted. And all I could do was tremble. I didn’t want to say no. It was something that I wanted. But I was scared at the cost of agreeing to something like that. I knew Daddy could read the fear in my eyes. Only he would truly understand why all of this was scary for me. But I also knew that I needed to relax. Wes wasn’t Del. And he wasn’t going to leave. My voice was soft as I let my eyes fall on the comforter in my lap.^

The last time I was asked to not do full time with a dominant, he walked out on me and Daddy. I must have done something wrong. Between working at the shop, being pregnant, and trying to divide my attention between him and Daddy, I must have done something wrong. Because it didn’t last any more than a month. He left without a word. The only thing we got was a note saying he couldn’t do it. And I don’t want that to happen again. Not because I think you’re him, but because I think I’m not good enough to deserve any of this.

Wes: -I knew that something had happened to the two of them before Lindsay and I had come into their lives. It wasn’t something that Cay and Myrick talked about a lot, but it was certainly something that had come up from time to time. I knew something like that was going to have an effect on the both of them, though I wasn’t aware that it was a worry that she still had. I just knew I had to do whatever was within my power to make sure that I alleviated those fears while I could.

I had no idea why the other guy had left. I couldn’t put myself in his shoes right now, because there was nothing more I wanted than to make the woman curled up on my bed happy. Leaving was the absolute last thing on my mind.-

You’re right about that. I’m not him, and I don’t know what made him go. I can’t wrap my head around any of that at the moment. All I know is that I love you, and I’m not going anywhere, though I’m certain that words aren’t going to be enough to take care of your fears at the moment. I can say anything I want. In the long run, I have to show you that I’m not going anywhere. I know that’s going to take time, but I’m in this for the long haul, Cardinal.

I know that Myrick is too. We’ve got all the time in the world to show you exactly what we think you’re good enough to deserve. I think we’re all bad judges of what we deserve, so we’re just going to have to trust one another to make sure we don’t let our bad judgement get in the way of what’s good for us.

If I think about it too long, I realize I’ve never done anything worth making one woman love me, let alone two, but the you and Lindsay tell me the exact opposite with everything you do. In the end, all I can do is be here for all of it, and hope I’m good enough to earn what you give me.

Cay: ^I needed to be honest with both of them. Especially on days when everything got to be too much. I didn’t want everything to get to me, and I was going to need some help with getting it out. And part of me realized that the best thing was having Nightingale in this with me. She understood what I was going to be going through.

I nodded my head at his words, though. There was a lot that I needed to say. And I needed Nightingale in here to say all of it.I needed her to understand that this wasn’t just me coming in to take everything away from her. I was giving up as much as I was getting. And in a way, I was having a weight taken off of my chest in regards to the Baines name. As much as I loved my Daddy, I knew that I was just going to crumble under the weight of his last name. Even if he and Emmy never did it, the pressure to be good enough for them was going to get to me every moment of every day.

My voice was soft as I turned to the man that had loved me first. He was going to understand everything. And I needed him to understand me in the process. It had been almost a year since we had gotten together. I was hoping he knew me well enough in those twelve months.^ I love you. Both of you. And I’m going to struggle. But we’re all making the right move in this relationship. Daddy needs to marry Lindsay. She can handle to pressure the last name Baines brings. I can’t. Wes, can you go get Lindsay, please? She needs to be in here, too.

^I could see the way Daddy’s eyes darkened as I brought up the last name. I knew he was going to object before I could even argue against him. But I wasn’t going to let it get any further than the look in his eyes.^ You and Emmy would never pressure me to be something I can’t be. But you and I both know that you’re going to get the summons to come back to Connecticut again. And if they want any kind of a relationship with Watson, I think the best possible outcome is to have Lindsay go as your wife. They’ll accept her easier than they would have ever accepted me.

Myrick: -Wes stood up at that moment to go get Lindsay, leaving Cay and I alone in the bedroom together. I knew she kept saying that I was going to have something to do with my family again in the future, and the truth was that maybe, but it was only going to be something like me showing up for someone’s funeral, because I could tolerate the way they’d treated me all these years. I didn’t think much of myself, and not fitting into their world was just another proof to me of how defective I was and always had been. Letting them treat me like a second class citizen was something I’d gotten used to and learned how to tolerate.

Watching them do that and worse to Cay and Emily was something I wasn’t going to be able to stand for, so it didn’t matter to me that she thought Lindsay was going to be the better choice to be my legal wife. I didn’t want her to think that any of this meant that she was any less important to me, and I didn’t think I was going to be able to pass that message on to her right now. I could see the panic swirling just below the surface, though she was doing a good job keeping it at bay for the moment.

When it was just the two of us in the room, I leaned forward, stealing a kiss off her lips as I tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear-

I know this is a lot to deal with, maybe even better than Wesley does. He wasn’t there when everything else happened, and he has no idea what it put you through… what it put both of us through. If you care about him enough to take a chance at it again, then I’m going to make sure that you’ve got whatever you need to work through it, ok? I love you. I don’t care about anything else, especially not my family. What looks good on paper is so much less important than what’s actually good for you and me.

Lindsay: ^All I could do was hold Watson as I gave Cay time with both Daddy and Wes. I knew what she was going through to a degree. She was spiraling out of control from all the pressure she was under. And that wasn’t necessarily anyone’s fault. She was more mature than any of us had ever anticipated. We all tended to look at her as if she was older. But the truth was that she was still a teenager for a few more weeks. And we were asking her to make some serious life choices. And these were choices that none of us had had to make at her age. Except for me. And I think that was why it was best for the guys to talk to her alone. She needed to feel comfortable in the space with them. And she didn’t need me to be hanging around. It would only make her more reluctant to talk. So I came in here with Watson. The room was big enough for him to grow into, and I knew that this was going to be his room. It was what needed to happen.

But I could only smile as I heard the door open and Wes walked in. I figured they were calming down Cay, and she was ready for me to come back in. But I also wanted to give her a few minutes with Daddy. It was important that all of us held on to the original couplings that we had. And there was a few things that I wanted to talk to Wes about before we made a move. Because this had the potential to blow up in our faces.^

I think I’m going to keep the last name Evans in regards to my career. I’m not entirely sure I want to change everything at the studio. I mean, obviously, telling Aaron and Ophelia is okay, but I don’t want the rest of the company to know much of anything has changed. Besides, I think this whole ordeal might actually open you up to working with other artists. But don’t think I don’t love you, Wesley. I have loved you since I was a teenager. Nothing will ever change that.

Wesley: -I hadn’t even realized I was pulling Lindsay into my arms until her body was already flush against mine. It was second nature to want her close, and nothing that had happened in the last couple of days was going to change that in the slightest. I was worried about how she was going to feel about all of this, but when she reminded me that nothing was going to change between us, I knew we were all doing exactly what was best for the four of us as a group.

This was going to take some work. There was no way it was going to just work out like magic, but that was true of any relationship. Lindsay had been the first person I’d been willing to put the work into, but I wanted no less of my relationship with Cay. I wasn’t sure what I’d done to deserve all of this, not after the cavalier way I’d approached things with women in the past.

Maybe I’d had some kind of intuition about the fact that those situations were never right for me. They weren’t worth the effort it would have taken to sustain them from my point of view. Lindsay and Cay most certainly were.-

I adore you, Lindsay, and I loved you before I even knew it. Nothing changes that either.

Cay: ^I was relieved for the moment. There had been so much going on with all of us together. But I needed a moment to just talk to Daddy. I needed to hear from him that this was the right move. That I wasn’t pushing him to do something that he didn’t want to do. And I was terrified that all of this was going to blow up in our face. But in my heart, I knew the truth. We could live without Wes and Lindsay, but we would barely be surviving.

The two of them made us stronger. They made everything fit the way that it was supposed to. Even if this was the last thing in the world that any of us had been ready to talk about. It was here. And we were being adults about it. And I still had my fears. And it was something I wasn’t sure how to handle. But I also knew that I needed to take a breath. I was sitting in a room with Daddy. And he was going to make sure that I was always taken care of. I just needed to remember to open my mouth.^

I’m scared. And I think it comes from the fact that I’m the only one that tends to remember that I’m still just nineteen. And this is a lot for me to handle. And as much as I love both you and Wesley and I adore having Lindsay around, everyone is asking me to make decisions that none of you ever had to make. I still want to be a teenager for a few more weeks, Daddy. I want the chance to make all the dumb and stupid decisions that all of you had the chance to make. But I’m afraid that if I do, everything is going to blow up in my face because I was mature enough to make the decisions we made today. And because I’m old enough to be a mom. And because I own my own business.

^I wrinkled my nose as I tried to hide my eyes from the man sitting across from me. I didn’t like showing just how insecure I could be about this. But I needed to be open with someone. And Daddy was the best person to be honest with. He understood me better than anyone else. And he understand what kind of pressure I tended to put on myself.^

As much as I know this is the right move to make, Daddy, I’m terrified that I’m getting lost in the shuffle. And I know that I may not be the best at any of this. And I know that I need to learn to open up a little bit more. But I am terrified of Del coming back to bite us in the ass. And the last thing I want is for any of us to get hurt. I don’t think we’d survive it.

Myrick: -I knew she was trying to hide how scared she was from me. Cay hated feeling insecure. It was hard for her to show it to anyone, even me when I was one of the people she felt the most comfortable with talking to about how she was feeling. At least she was telling me she was scared. That was a good thing, even if I hated that she was scared of all of this. I could definitely understand it after everything we’d been through, and the fact that she’d brought up Del just cemented that was part of the reason behind her feelings.

She was scared of not being perfect, of not being good enough for everyone now that there was more than just she and I in the equation. I just needed her to see that perfect was the last thing that any of us expected out of her. I reached up, curling a small piece of her hair around the end of my finger. She really was just a kid compared to the rest of us, especially Wes, and it was okay for her to be exactly what she was, no matter what was weighing down on her.-

Baby Love, I know this seems like you’ve got more people you have to keep it all together for, that there are even more of us who will be let down if you drop the ball here, but I hope you know it’s not that we’re all here waiting on you to support us, but that we’re all here to support you. You can screw up. You can have fun. You can break down and make mistakes. We’re human, all of us, and instead of you being the pillar that holds up the entire thing, you have three other people here to make sure everything is still going to stay standing when you have to let go of some of it for whatever reason.

We’re here, for you, and for Watson and all the rest of us. I’m not going anywhere, no matter what happens, and I’m fairly certain the same is true for Wes and Lindsay. We’ve got you so that you can be whatever it is you need to be in the moment.

Cay: ^That was the thing that scared me the most. Daddy knew it. I was terrified that I was going to have to be strong for everyone else. It wasn’t something that had ever been expected of me. But I knew how I felt about everything. I knew that I was going to always put that kind of pressure on myself. But there was something in the way that Daddy said what he had said. I was still a teenager. And I hadn’t ever acted like it. In fact, the closest I had ever come was when I was first pregnant with Watson.

There were parts of me that was terrified to go there and be a teenager. It wasn’t something Daddy or Wes had ever seen from me. And I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to explain that to them. How was I supposed to tell them that I wanted to be irresponsible? There was too much that rode on me being the pillar of everything. There was too much I had to do. But Daddy was right.

I had a group around me that would do anything to make me happy. And I had someone that was willing to help me figure out the best way to balance my life. None of this was something I had to go through alone. The four of us were a family. And it didn’t matter how we were a family. There was more to what we were doing than anyone else needed to know. But I knew that I was going to get insecure. I was still young. And as confident as I could be, I didn’t know how to communicate sometimes. And that was going to be the thing that got me in trouble.^

I want you to know that I love you. And I may screw things up. A lot. Because I’m bad at talking sometimes. And I like to internalize a lot of things. I also happen to think that all three of you have jobs that are much more important than mine. So I won’t want to bother you with my issues. Because I know that I should be able to deal with it.

^I held a finger up as Daddy tried to correct me. I knew what he was going to say, but it wasn’t what I was trying to tell him. He had to understand how my brain operated. And he needed to understand that I was going to have bad periods.^ I’m not saying that I won’t come to you or Wes when everything gets to be too much. I’m saying that I understand that there may be times when I can’t have a meltdown or just act my age. I’m being considerate of the life everyone has. It’s going to take some time. And I realize that. I’ll get better with everything in time. But I’m not entirely sure how fast it’ll happen.

^I could feel the shame wash over me. But it was more because of my downfalls than because I was admitting them to Daddy. I felt his arms come around me as Lindsay and Wes walked back into the room. I knew that this was the right move, though. This was the relationship I was meant to be in. It wasn’t going to be perfect. And there were going to be mistakes. But the only thing we could give it was time. And that was something that all of us had in spades.^

#ISpinForYouLikeYourFavoriteRecordsUsedTo

[sinfulmyrick]

Our Hearts Are Heavy Burdens We Shouldn’t Have to Bear Alone (SL with @BluesAndSorrow)

Myrick: -I was expecting Lindsay at the door to the condo any minute, though I wasn’t exactly sure what the two of us were going to be doing tonight. I knew she was coming over, but I hadn’t made any real plans. It was nice just to get the time to spend with her, honestly. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but I was looking forward to getting to see her.

The two of us had been together a couple of times since Watson had been born, but I hadn’t wanted to take too much time away from Cay while she needed me. Now that things were getting a little more settled with the baby, we were both more free to spend more time doing other things. Tonight, Cass and Amelia had him for the night. They’d offered a week ago to let him stay with them so the two of us could get away or do whatever we wanted. It just worked out in time

It didn’t matter how many times I spent time with Lindsay, I was always a little nervous when we got together. I wanted her to be happy with the time we spent together. It was the most important thing between the two of us. I needed her to be happy and satisfied before I was going to be satisfied.  So I was just going to be waiting to find out whatever my Songbird wanted to do as soon as she walked into the room-

Lindsay: ^The nerves were there. They always were when I was spending time alone with Daddy. But the truth was that I craved this. I needed it almost as much as Cay needed time with Sir. And that’s how I was thinking of him tonight. Especially since I was in a little space. Being around Daddy always brought it out in me. And it helped knowing that Sir was spending time with Cay. It helped the adjustment. And I was just as excited for them as I was for me and Daddy.

We didn’t have a plan. We usually didn’t. And I didn’t want everything to be super structured. It was why I came to him in the first place. It was a change of pace from being with Sir. I knew that if I just wanted to be curled up in his arms, I could say that and it would be alright. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. But I wanted it to be perfect. It was an unrealistic expectation, but really, any amount of time I got to spend with Daddy was perfect.

I needed a moment as I stood outside the door to Daddy and Cay’s place. I was a bundle of nerves, but I could also hear the faint sounds of whimpering behind the door. The only thing I could do was smile. Pulling my keys from my purse, I took one last breath before unlocking the door and walking into the condo.

The sight that greeted me made me laugh. Daddy was nowhere to be found, but Leo seemed to be waiting for me. I wasn’t sure if he was waiting for me or Cay, but it also didn’t matter. He was waiting for someone that wasn’t Daddy. My fingers combed through the golden fur as I bent down. It was almost no time before my face was being smothered in doggy kisses.^ Where’s Daddy at, Leo?

Myrick: -I could hear Leo in the other room whimpering and scratching at the bottom of the door before I ever heard it open, and I knew without even looking down the hallway that it was Lindsay, just from the sound of his bark when she came in. Her voice talking to the dog confirmed it, and I chose that moment to stick my head out of the office door and look down the hallway to see her there.

My nerves hit about their peak when I realized she was finally here. There wasn’t anything left to do but get the evening started. I walked out and down the hall to save her from my dog, though she was laughing in response to his greeting-

Well, I think Leo’s pretty sure you’re here to see him and not me.

-I leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek as she closed the door behind her-

Lindsay: ^I couldn’t help but let out a smile as Daddy came into the hall. Every ounce of nerves I had melted away the moment he pressed his lips to my cheek. I knew that I didn’t have the same kind of energy as Cay, but I was excited to be here. I wanted to spend time with Daddy. I wanted to be here, and I was confused why I thought I wasn’t wanted.

I couldn’t stop myself from dropping my purse on the floor next to me. I just needed to be wrapped up in his arms. I wanted to just take a moment to enjoy this feeling. For some reason, everything felt right. This was where I wanted to be. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I let my head rest against his chest. I needed to know that being here was okay.^ Thank you for inviting me to over. Even if it’s just for a few hours. I’ve missed being able to spend time with you.

Myrick:  -I gathered Lindsay closer into my chest as she wrapped her arms around me. I could hear something in her voice that worried me a little, though I wasn’t going to push her about it. Instead, I pressed another kiss to the top of her head. We didn’t have to rush anything. We didn’t have any plans. We could just be ourselves and be comfortable with each other for awhile. I needed her to know that whatever she wanted to do tonight was perfectly fine-

Come on, Songbird.  Let’s go to the studio and get comfy. We can just exist for awhile. Or do whatever you want. It’s just good to get time to see you too.

-I let her hold on to me for as long as she needed before I threaded my fingers between Lindsay’s and pulled her gently down the hall towards the studio that Cay had painted for me, hoping she’d notice the fact that she and Wesley’s names were up on the wall-

Lindsay: ^I had seen parts of the condo before. But this was the one space I had never been in before. It felt kind of sacred to me. It was Daddy’s space to paint. And I didn’t want to intrude on that. The only other room in the house I refused to walk into was Cay’s room. It was the space that Daddy had set up for her to be a little. A place she could call hers.

But I was in love with the office. The walls were various shades of blues and greens. It looked like someone had painted a watercolor picture on them. But it was the names in cursive that caught my attention. My fingers gently ran over Emily, Amelia, and Cassidy before the names Wesley and Lindsay caught my attention. I wasn’t sure who had put them there. But they were among those that Daddy and Cay considered family. Turning my head, I let the tear start to gather. I wasn’t sure where to begin. But knowing they thought enough of us to add us to the wall meant everything.^ I didn’t know you held us so close? I mean, I know you’re my Daddy when I need you. But I didn’t want to intrude on your family.

Myrick: -I saw the tears in her eyes before she spoke, and the last thing I’d intended to do was make her cry. I just wanted to show her that she and Wes were important enough in our lives to merit a place on the walls here, but there was more to it than that.-

Cay painted the room for me. She stole my paints to do it too, but she chose the names on the wall. They’re family to us. And you’re never intruding. My family is what I’ve made of it, and you’re most certainly a part of it, though there’s a little more to it than that.

-I slid an arm around her waist, resting my hand on the small of her back to guide her over to where my easel was. This was where I did most of my work, and this was where Cay had chosen to put the two names she knew were my biggest inspiration.  Baby Love and Songbird were there, tucked in next to the easel in the same script as the rest of the wall. -

She wanted me to get inspiration sitting here, and those two names represent all my best inspiration.

Lindsay: ^I loved him. It was the only thought in my mind. I didn’t know when it had happened, but I had fallen in love with the artist standing next to me. But I couldn’t say a word. There was no reason to. It would ruin everything. It was against all the carefully planned rules we had. I wasn’t supposed to love him. I didn’t want to come between his family. And I didn’t want to rip Cay away from Sir.

But I couldn’t ignore what was going on. My fingers gently traced over the two nicknames next to the easel. It was a strange feeling to know that I was someone’s inspiration. But as an artist, I understood the meaning of having that inspiration, and never wanting to let it go. I could only turn to Daddy and press my lips against his. I didn’t know where we were going, but I knew that I needed to be his in someway. And if I could only have him for a few hours, I was going to use those few hours to be the center of his world.^

Myrick: -I grinned against her lips as she stood up on her toes to plant a kiss against mine, but there was something more urgent in this kiss than usual. I could feel it coming out of every pore of her. The red in her hair seemed all the more brilliant when I wrapped my arms around her and crushed her into my chest, getting lost in the kiss between us in that moment.

I wasn’t sure what showing her the name there had meant to her, but I knew what it meant to me. There was a lot more to this than just playing her Daddy from time to time when she needed me. There had been for awhile now, even if I wasn’t going to say it out loud or push her too far, and I wasn’t certain how my Baby Love would have felt about it. But the fact that she’d known enough to paint Songbird where she had told me that she understood more than I ever said out loud.

They were both important to me, in slightly different ways, but I couldn’t have imagined my life without either of them. I didn’t want to even try. I needed them both as a part of everything  I wasn’t going to push that on her, but I was going to make myself as important to her as I could during the time we had together.

Lifting her a few inches off the floor was an easy move, and taking her over to the couch set up in the studio was quicker than I’d even realized it could be.-

Lindsay: ^I was pulled into Daddy’s lap as he brought us over to the couch in the office. There was more between the two of us. And I may have been imagining it, but there was something more to me. And I felt like all I could do was cling to him. I didn’t want things to change. I didn’t want anyone to be upset that the rules were being broken.

Somewhere inside of me, I knew the truth. I was always going to be the one to break the rules first. I was going to be the one to drive a wedge between the four of us. I was going to ruin this. But I needed to not think about that right now. I needed to remember that everything was still internal. I hadn’t said the words out loud. I still didn’t have to ruin anything. I didn’t have to let him know that I felt more.

But what I did need to do was show him how much it meant to me that I was on his wall. That I was one of the biggest inspirations in his life. I didn’t try to put myself as his biggest inspiration. I knew the truth. That was Cay. But there was something about being a part of his life even when I wasn’t with him.

I let myself pull away from the man in front of me. There was one thing that everyone knew about me. But few had seen me actually do it. I was far too much of a perfectionist for anyone to see me sing. It was the reason that I only worked with Wes in the studio. I didn’t know where it came from, but the words just started slipping out of my mouth as I kept my eyes on the hazel ones in front of me.^

But drenched in vanilla twilight

I’ll sit on the front porch all night

Waist deep in thoughts because when

I think of you I don’t feel so alone…

Myrick: -I’d heard recordings of Lindsay singing. It was something she was more or less famous for, but I’d never heard her in person. She didn’t sing around the shop. It wasn’t anything she did in front of people when she could avoid it. But here she was, relaxed in my lap singing one of my favorite songs to me and no one else.

I didn’t know what had inspired her. Maybe it was the names painted on the walls. Maybe it was something else. But it didn’t matter. I needed her here. I needed this. To know she was singing just for me meant everything. I knew it was her art, the same way my drawings and paintings were mine. Before now, she’d only ever sung in front of Wesley, and the fact that she was doing it now absolutely melted me.

I didn’t want to break the moment with anything as much as I wanted to kiss her in that moment. I just let my hands rest on her waist, steadying her in my lap until she was done-

That was absolutely beautiful, just like you.

Lindsay: ^I felt my cheeks start to warm with the blush that was always present when I got a compliment. I didn’t know how to handle them. Especially if it was about my voice. I just wanted to give him something that I didn’t give to anyone else. It was rare that even Wes got to hear me sing outside of the studio. I wanted Daddy to have something that was just for him. And singing that song was just his.

I let my forehead rest against his as I tried to gather my breath. There was so much going through my mind, and I was terrified I was about to have a panic attack. I knew that if I didn’t say something, I was going to lose it. And the last thing I wanted was to walk out of here earlier than expected. I was in the safest space to figure out what was going on in my head. I was with the one person who could walk me through this. I had to trust in him to help me.

My voice was almost a caress in the night. Soft enough that it wasn’t going to be heard by anyone except the man that I was pressed against. I wasn’t sure what was about to happen, but I needed to take a chance. It was the only way all of this was going to work between the couples.^ I’m terrified that I’m going to lose you.

Myrick: -I reached up out of instinct to cup the cheek of the woman who was perched on top of my lap. I could hear the nerves in her voice. She was almost shaking and the sound of it was so soft that if I hadn’t been listening intently for her, I could have missed exactly what she was trying to say.

I wasn’t sure where that had come from, but I knew it was something we needed to talk about. There was no way I was going to let her leave here without working it out between the two of us whatever that meant. I cared about her too much to let that happen.-

Why are you terrified, Songbird? I’m not going anywhere. I promise you that. I like being around you too much to give that up.

Lindsay: ^How was I supposed to tell him the truth? I knew that it could absolutely ruin everything we all had worked so hard for. I wasn’t even sure if he felt the same way. I was risking everything by telling him this. But I needed him to understand that I wasn’t trying to make everything fall apart. I wanted all of this to be the same. I just had to let him know the truth. It was the only way to make it work.^

I don’t know how to say this. I don’t know what is going to happen. I know that I did a bad thing. Well, it’s not actually a bad thing. It’s all in how you look at it. ^I felt my body start to shake as I rambled. My head was running in a million different directions, and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to say to him.

I let my head fall against Daddy’s chest. I wanted to hide. And telling him that I loved him was not hiding. That was going to put myself out there for him to destroy. But I had to think about it. I wasn’t going to get destroyed. One way or another, Daddy wasn’t going to let me destroy myself. Even if it meant he was going to have to walk away from me.^ I love you.

Myrick: -That was the last thing I’d expected to hear from her lips in that moment. I knew she cared about me more than just casually. That much had been clear for weeks, and I knew how she felt about Wesley. She loved him. Anyone who paid even a little attention could see that. But I���d had no idea she felt the same way about me.

I’d have been a liar if I said I didn’t have feelings for her, but I knew that there was a danger in both of us saying those words if our significant others weren’t alright with it. It was something we were going to have to figure out if anything was going to work. She might have been terrified she was going to lose me with her confession, but the truth was I felt the same way.

The last thing I wanted was to hurt her or to hurt Cay. I knew she felt the same way about Wes. It just meant that we had a lot to figure out, even if I had no idea how to broach the topic outside of this room with anyone besides her.

I pulled her in closer, pressing a kiss to the gentle curve of her shoulder. When her face was buried in my chest, it was hard for me to reach anywhere else, but I needed to reassure her that I wasn’t going anywhere. She was trembling and more scared than I’d ever seen her.-

Hey, it’s alright, Songbird.

-There was only one thing to say to her, because in that moment, I knew it was the absolute truth. I just had to let go of my constraints and actually say it.-

I love you, too.

Lindsay: ^I felt the tears I had been holding at bay fall. I wasn’t sure what was going on. I wasn’t sure why this was happening. But Daddy felt the same way that I did. And I knew that that was going to ruin a few things. I had never wanted to come between him and Cay, and I still didn’t want to. I didn’t want to break up their family. But I knew that if I did, I was never going to be truly happy.

I let my blue eyes focus on the hazel ones in front of me. I needed him to see that I meant what I was about to say, even if it was going to tear me apart. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle it, but I would do whatever was necessary to make everyone else happy.^

I’ll walk away if it’s something she needs me to do. I don’t want to do that, but Cay needs to be your priority. She’s the mother of your son. I could never dream of taking her away from you. Even if it means breaking me into a million pieces, I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep your family together.

Myrick:  -I wasn’t sure what she was about to say when Lindsay focused her light blue eyes on mine. I could see that she was barely keeping the tears at bay long enough to speak, though some of them couldn’t help but leak out of the corners of her eyes and roll down her pale cheeks. I reached out to cup her face, running my thumbs over her cheeks to smooth them away. I would have done whatever was within my power to make those tears go away.

I leaned in to press a kiss to her lips. Before I said anything, I needed my Songbird to know that she meant the world to me. I cared about her, and while I wasn’t going to let anything come between me and Cay, I knew there was room in my heart for Lindsay too. Listening to her talk about leaving because she thought she was going to come between Cay and I wasn’t something I was going to be able to sit around and listen to.-

Songbird, I think this is something the four of us need to have a talk about before we go off half cocked. I want you in my life. I love you. I love Cay. I love you both. I wouldn’t want to come between you and Wesley either, but I think you know that there’s room for more than one of us in your life if we can figure out a way to make it work.

Lindsay: ^I wasn’t sure what to say. Daddy was right, though. We did need to have a discussion between the four of us. I didn’t know if Wes and Cay felt the same way, but we had to be open about what was going on. It was only fair to the two of them to open those lines of communication.

I couldn’t stop the tears from spilling down my cheeks, though. It had hurt to tell Daddy that I would take a step back. I didn’t want to do that. And the only way I was going to was if Cay or Wes demanded it. But I wasn’t sure they were going to. Part of me knew they needed each other the same way that I needed Daddy.

I could only cling to the man in front of me as I tried to gather myself. I wasn’t going to let this be how our last moment together was. I wasn’t going to be the crying girl that couldn’t keep it together. I needed to distract myself. Without thinking about consequences, my lips were against Daddy’s. I needed to drown out the impending sorrow with something that filled me with joy.^

Myrick: -One moment she was curled up in my lap with tears pouring down her cheeks, and the next, she was throwing herself into a kiss. I could only wrap my arms around her and pull her in more deeply to it. I knew the impulse that had driven her to that. It seemed that with a simple sentence, everything between the two of us had the potential to change. It was most certainly something that we needed to talk about between all four of us, but I could keep her here for the moment. No matter what the future conversation held for the two of us, we had tonight, and we could enjoy it for the moment.

I just got her more comfortable in my lap, keeping my hands pressed to her back as I kissed her. She was absolutely perfect, and the last thing I wanted was to see her crying or be the reason for her tears. I wanted her to be happy, and I wanted to be at least a part of the reason she was happy. Just like she didn’t want to be the thing that came between me and Cay, I didn’t want to destroy what she had with Wesley, but something told me that we could all come up with a compromise if we talked it out.

For now, I could just get lost in her. I loved her. I knew that was true before I’d even said it to her, and to know she felt the same way was simultaneously scary and relieving. Whatever happened because of it, we would all figure out how to work out together.-

Lindsay: ^I could feel it in this kiss. Something was different. It was more than it had been before. But I knew exactly what it was. It was the fact that everything was out in the open. We weren’t hiding from our feelings. I had been honest with him the moment I told him I loved him. And he had responded in kind.

I felt myself push against him as we moved our lips together. Our tongues dancing slowly as the kiss became more heated. We were both trying to get through tonight in one piece. And we were trying to keep each other as close as possible. I didn’t want to lose Daddy. I couldn’t. And for the moment, he couldn’t lose me.

It was a hope I kept buried. The hope that the four of us all needed each other too much to let this go. And I knew there were a lot of logistics to figure out. But for the moment, I was Daddy’s. And he was mine. Breaking away from the kiss, I let our a soft whimper before I said the one thing that would derail us from whatever conversation we were about to have.^ I need you, Daddy. Please?

Myrick:-Those words were enough to pull me into the moment. I knew what she was asking for, and it was a distraction from all the possibilities that the revelation between the two of us held for all four of us. We had tonight, and I intended to make good on it as long as I could. I wasn’t going to waste it in anticipation of what could happen next. I was pretty certain the four of us were going to come to some conclusion that worked for all of us, but for now, I could just enjoy the fact that she felt the same way about me that I felt about her.

I moved her in my lap, settling her legs on either side of mine without pulling away from the kiss I’d pulled her back into. I wanted her lips and body on mine. My hands moved up her legs wrinkling the fabric of the skirt to slide my fingertips further on her bare skin. I enjoyed the whimper that it drug out of her parted lips in response.-

Whatever you want, Songbird. I know exactly what I want.

Lindsay: ^It was apparent what he wanted. We were both on the sam page. But I knew that this was more than just me spending time with Daddy. This was going to be about claiming what was his. And for the moment, I was. I wanted nothing more than to be claimed this way. I was his, no matter what happened over the next few days. There was always going to be a small piece of me that was his.

Daddy’s fingers toyed with my center. I knew he could feel the wetness between my legs. But it was for him. He was the one that was making me feel this way. He was the one that I wanted. And all I could do was whimper as I tried to move closer to him. I wanted all of him. I needed him to want me the same way.

The only thing I could do was wrap my arms around his neck and cling to him. I wasn’t sure where things were going, but we both needed this. We needed the connection between the two of us. My words were soft as I pressed a line of kisses along Daddy’s jaw. He needed to know exactly what I wanted.^ Make me yours, Daddy? Completely.

Myrick: -That was all the encouragement I needed before I stood up with her arms still wrapped around my neck, moving to slide her legs around my waist as I claimed her lips in another kiss. I was going to get the two of us more comfortable for the moment before I gave her exactly what she was asking for. The two of us were wrapped around each other until I gently let her down on the bed, moving my hands along her legs before I slid them under the edge of her shirt to peel it slowly over her head.

It only took a moment to get it off her arms before I was back in close to her, claiming her lips in a kiss. Maybe it was the way she’d confessed to loving me back in the studio. Maybe it was the relief I’d felt in figuring out that she’d felt the same way about me as I did about her, but it made me want to keep my lips pressed to hers for as long as I possibly could. I needed her close.

My own shirt followed as quickly as I could manage it, along with my jeans and the rest of my clothes, though I didn’t break the kiss between us for even a moment while I freed the both of us from everything except her skirt. I loved the way she looked in it too much to remove it before I pulled her onto the bed more fully with me. I didn’t want to seem like this was all I’d wanted from her, but I would have been lying if I’d said that I didn’t want her. The way things had gone between the two of us made me want to make love to her even more. I wanted to be a part of her, as much as I wanted her to be a part of me, and there was no way that the two of us were going to be able to be more physically close than this.

My back leaned against the cool headboard as I pulled her back into place on my lap with almost nothing between the two of us and let my fingers go back to what they were doing before she asked me to make her mine, teasing through the heated folds of her pussy as I pulled her in closer, pressing my lips to hers to murmur four words- I love you, Songbird.

Lindsay: ^He was teasing me. It was absolutely something he was good at. And I wanted more. I wanted to feel everything. And I was. But it almost didn’t seem fair. I wanted more, and he knew it. But this was about him pulling what he wanted from me. And what he wanted was to just feel me. He wanted me to be complete with him.

The feel of his lips against mine made me feel complete. We moved against each other in a way that spoke of two halves of a whole. We were poetry when we let ourselves go. But he was holding me back. Waiting for the quiet pleas to fall from my lips. He needed to hear me say I needed him the same way he needed me.

I could only let out a frustrated groan as I pulled away from his lips. He was naked, and I was nearly so. I knew the plaid skirt was going to be a little much for him. It was one of his favorite things. But I hadn’t been expecting to keep it on.^ Please, Daddy? Don’t tease.

Myrick: -I loved the way she let out the frustrated groan. It told me she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. I didn’t want any of this to be just because it was what she thought I wanted. I enjoyed teasing her, but not as much as I enjoyed hearing her tell me what she wanted. I was certainly going to give it to her without making her wait much longer. Besides, I needed her just as much. -

You know I love it when you say please.

-My hands went to her waist, pulling her into my body in the same motion that I guided my full length inside her. I let her slowly sink down as I felt her. That moment was perfect, having her body wrapped completely around mine was the thing I’d been craving without putting it into words. We moved together for the moment, and I kept my eyes locked on hers as I watched her face melt into an expression I was never going to be able to get enough of-

Lindsay: ^We were complete. In this moment, it was just the two of us. I needed Daddy. I needed to be able to be his and only his. I couldn’t stop myself from ducking my head and pressing my lips against his. I needed to feel everything. I needed to be everything with him. I had to be the center of Daddy’s world.

It wasn’t a feeling I often wanted or needed. But this was something else. Maybe it was because of the feelings that were involved. Maybe it was because I was in love with Daddy. Maybe it was because Daddy was in love with me. It was rare that I wanted to break the rules. But tonight, I wanted to break all of them.

I could only move my body against his. I wanted to be closer to him. I needed it. I had to be surrounded by him. There was nothing that I wanted more than this. I was completely content to be wrapped up in each other like we were.^

Myrick: -Out of instinct, my fingers went to wrap around behind her neck, threading into her hair to keep her lips against mine. It meant that her chest was crushed against mine while our bodies moved together. My other arm wrapped completely around her back, fingers splaying across her skin to keep her there. I was simply enjoying the moment as long as I could.

I knew our time together was limited, and I planned on taking advantage of it as much as I could. I didn’t want to waste a single moment of it, and being as close to her as possible was the only thing I craved at the moment.

We’d been together plenty of times, but there was something different about tonight. Maybe it was that she’d told me she loved me, or maybe it was that I’d finally put into words how I felt about her. Whatever it was, I was going to keep her in my arms and right here joined with me as long as she wanted.

We moved together slowly, lost in the kiss between our joined lips and forgetting that the rest of the world existed. I loved the feeling of being together like this, not able to tell where my body ended and hers began.-

Lindsay: ^Everything was just starting to blend together. Our movements were one. There was so much going on, and not enough all at the same time. I wanted more. I needed more. But I wasn’t going to break away from the kiss to tell Daddy that. The way we were moving proved that this was something we needed to explore.

My fingers moved along the skin of his back. I knew my nails were making tiny scarlet lines down his back. But I couldn’t stop. I wanted to spur him on. I wanted him to do everything to claim me. I wanted to be his because I was his. In this moment, no one else mattered.

We were walking a dangerous slope. But I wasn’t going to change anything. I knew we could figure it out. It was just a matter of talking to everyone. But every thought was wrapped up in the moment. I was wrapped up in Daddy’s skin against me. The way he smelled invaded my senses. He was everything I needed in that moment. I let my nails dig a little deeper as I felt myself chasing down an orgasm. And truly, it was all that I wanted in the moment.^

Myrick: -I could feel her fingernails digging into my skin. Though it wasn’t exactly something she’d ever done before, it was something I could understand. Things between us were intense, more intense than they’d ever been, and it was like our bodies couldn’t get enough of the other. I’d fully intended to keep her there in my lap, but the burn of her nails across my back had driven me on further than I’d thought possible.

Wrapping my arms around Lindsay’s back, I let out a soft growl, moving to push her and myself onto the bed until she was resting on her back against the mattress without letting my lips break from hers for even a moment. My fingers moved from behind her to her hips to hold them firmly against mine as I moved more feverishly with her. I knew she needed more. I needed more of her. Tonight was different than it had ever been between the two of us, and I was perfectly fine in getting lost in her and letting her get lost in me for the moment.

Whatever the rest of the world had in store for us could wait. For now, we just had the two of us to pay attention to.-

Lindsay: ^This had stopped being about Daddy and his Songbird the moment my nails started digging into his skin. This was about Myrick and Lindsay. This was about the two of us being complete. And the only way to do that was to keep doing what we were doing.

We were wrapped up in what we were feeling. And it was the same thing. We were both clinging. And there were going to be bruises left on me when we were done. But Daddy was going to have just as many marks on his back from me. It was a trade I was willing to make. We both needed this. We needed each other.

My head was spinning. I wanted to beg for more. I wanted to beg for everything. But I wasn’t ready for the night to end. That was something I was afraid of. I didn’t know what was about to happen. I wasn’t sure about how things were going to work out when I left for the night. But for now, I could live in the moment. I could get lost in the way Daddy felt inside of me. I let out the softest of moans as I tried to keep myself under control. I wasn’t ready to have all of this end.^

Myrick: -I needed her more than I knew how to put into words at the moment, and all of the parts of me that could have held back were gone in that moment. I wanted to be a part of her and claim every inch of her that I could. My lips weren’t going to leave her skin until both of us were spent. I could feel her trembling underneath me, and I wanted her to fall apart before I finally let myself go. It was the last thing I needed. She should be enjoying herself as much as I was, if not more, and I was going to make sure that was exactly what was happening.

My fingers moved from her hips to slip between us, swirling around the nub of her clit to press between us. I timed their movements with our own, keeping us joined and perfectly in rhythm with each other until I could hear her moans growing more and more fevered. I wasn’t stopping until she was shaking and done for, and I knew that I wasn’t going to be far behind once all of that happened. I didn’t want this to end, but I was going to pull her into my arms as soon as I could and keep her there for every moment that we had left. I murmured against her lips, keeping our bodies as tightly bound as they had ever been.-

Cum for me, please Lindsay. I need to feel you.

Lindsay: ^There was no way that I could deny him. Not when his voice was full of need. Not with the way he was holding me. I heard my name fall from his lips, and I felt myself fall apart under him. It was the only thing that could have broken through the haze that I was in. The fact that he needed me badly enough to call me Lindsay instead of Songbird.

I felt myself arch against Daddy, every inch of my body pressing against his. I couldn’t stop myself from pressing soft kisses over every inch of skin that I could touch. My words were just as full of need as his were. There was no denying that this was something different than it had been.^ Please, Myrick. I need everything.

^The statement wasn’t a lie. I needed everything that he was willing to give me. And I was in a rare mood. I was selfish enough to take everything. I felt him push into me a couple more times before his body stilled, his release warming me completely. His lips pressed against mine as we both took the time to just breathe each other in. We both knew the reality of the situation we were in, though. Our time for the night was coming to an end. We were going to have to bottle everything back up. At least until we talked to Wes and Cay about what had happened here tonight.

I felt myself start to shake as I tried to keep the panic at bay. This was absolutely something I wanted to hold on to. I wasn’t entirely ready to give up how open we were being. But I knew it was something I had to hide until everyone had a chance to talk.^

Myrick: -I pulled Lindsay into my arms and curled up with her in the bed when the two of us were finally able to come to our senses enough to move. I could feel her shaking against my chest, and I thought I knew the reason, though i wasn’t going to push her to share it unless she wanted to. All I planned to do was to keep her here as long as I could. The night was going to have to come to an end eventually, and I was going to take advantage of it all as long as I could.

Sooner or later, the two of us were going to need to talk to Wes and Cay about what had happened tonight and the way that we felt. I didn’t know how they were going to react, but I had an inkling that they were going to feel the same way that the two of us did. I just couldn’t be certain about any of it until we got together and it finally came up.

For now, neither of us was moving until it was absolutely necessary. I heard the sound of my phone going off with a text message from where the fabric was draped across the bottom of the bed. I kept one arm tucked around her, while I used my foot and free hand to fish it out of the pocket. The only reason I was checking was because Cay and Watson weren’t here, and I needed to make sure they were alright.

I was a little surprised to see that the text I’d received was from Wesley and to see that it was about Cay. Apparently things had gotten a little more intense than they two of them had intended tonight, and he wanted to keep an eye on her for the night. The two of them were essentially asking if I minded her spending the night over there. I knew Lindsay didn’t want to leave here, and to be honest with myself, I didn’t want her to leave either. If Cay needed to spend the night there, then I was going to be fine with it happening, especially if it meant that Lindsay got the time she needed.

Before I even typed up a reply, I leaned down to press a kiss to Lindsay’s forehead-

So how do you feel about staying the night?

Lindsay: ^I was almost startled by the chiming of Daddy’s phone. But the question that came after it was something I didn’t know how to react to. It was a thought that I had. And it was something I wanted. I wanted it more than I cared to admit. But I wasn’t sure what was going on. I wasn’t sure why this was suddenly an option. It was something we had all agreed would never happen. Sleepovers were not going to happen. Not in any way. But I knew something must have happened if someone was deciding we needed to spend the night where we were.

I wasn’t sure how to answer, though. I wasn’t sure how to tell Daddy that this was exactly what I wanted. And I didn’t just want it for tonight. I wanted it to be a thing every night. But there was a lot with putting that out into the world. So the only thing I could do was nod my head. I wanted Daddy to know that this was something I wanted to do. I wanted to be right here with him. But there was still so much going through my head.

I couldn’t get the shaking to stop, though. I didn’t want to have a panic attack, but there was still so much that I needed to say to him. I just wasn’t entirely sure how to get all of it to come out properly. There was a lot that could get screwed up if I didn’t think before I spoke. I needed to consider everything very carefully. I needed to be honest, but respectful at the same time. There was so much pressure to get everything right.^

I want to stay in your arms. Please don’t make me leave, Daddy. Please let me stay here?

Myrick: -I pulled her in to steal a kiss from her lips as she asked to stay here for the rest of the night. It was absolutely within my power to give that to her tonight. Something was up with Cay, and I hoped she was alright. Though, I trusted Wesley to make sure that she was taken care of. I knew there wasn’t going to be anyone else who would make sure that she was a hundred percent alright, but he was going to be even better at that than I could have ever been. Watson was in good hands for the night. He was already going to be spending the night with Amelia and Cass since we had plans tonight. There was nothing in the way of me giving her what she wanted. -

You can stay right here. You’re not going anywhere tonight. Wes needs to take care of Cay tonight a little longer than he thought. I think she’s bruised, but it doesn’t matter. He’s got her. I’ve got you. I promise.

-I pulled her in closer, tucking the blanket up around both of us.-

You’re staying in my arms for the rest of the night.

-The two of us had a lot to discuss, but I wanted her to say what was on her mind in her own time. For now, I was just holding on to what the two of us had for as long as we could manage. I just needed her to know that nothing was going to change between the two of us no matter what she needed to say.-

Just know that no matter what you say to me tonight, it’s not going to change how I feel about you. I told you I loved you earlier. I meant it. It’s not something I take lightly, and I’m not going to stop being your Daddy. So, you can say anything. I promise it won’t change things between us.

Lindsay: ^I had needed to hear that. I needed to know that nothing was going to change. I wanted to know that this was something he wanted just as much as I did. But I was scared to ask him how we could make this work. I didn’t know if it was something he had the ability to give me. There was more to the picture than just me and Daddy. There was also Wes and Cay. And then the last one to consider was Watson. There was a future we needed to think about. I was terrified that everything was going to be confusing later for him.

I didn’t know how to get things out. But I needed to remember where I was. I needed to remember that I was still with a dominant. I still had to be respectful. No matter how hard all of this was to get out, I still had to maintain the relationship we both had and trusted.

Taking a breath, I could only press myself closer to the man that was holding me. I wanted him to know the truth, but I was still scared. I wasn’t sure what the right move to make was, but I needed to talk to him. That was the only way anything was going to work.^

I’m not ready for this to end. I’m not ready for the two of us to go back to what we were. I can’t do it. And it scares me to think that I might have to. Because what if Sir and Cay don’t feel the same way we do? What if they decide that we need to end all of this because you and I broke the rules? How am I supposed to act like it is going to be okay?

Myrick: -As she curled into my chest, I could feel that Lindsay was still shaking. I needed to make sure she was okay. There wasn’t usually much in the form of aftercare when I was with one of the girls because things never really got that intense between us. I was gentle most of the time, though, I’d known I got carried away with Lindsay a little tonight, and I knew the reason for it.

But this wasn’t about the physical part of what had happened tonight. It was about the emotional component, the fact that the two of us had confessed what we’d confessed to each other. It was terrifying. I knew that much, and it wasn’t just scary for her, it was scary for me as well. I had no way of knowing what Wesley and Cay were going to have to say about all of this, but we had tonight before we had to deal with all of this. At least we could spend the night together.

I pulled her in closer and pressed another kiss to her forehead-

I can’t promise you anything, Lindsay. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I just know that we’ve got tonight to be together before we have to deal with the reality of everything and that I love you. That’s all that’s certain. Maybe it’s going to be okay, Maybe it’s not. I think I know Cay well enough to know that there’s more to all of this than just casual friendship or whatever we’ve been telling ourselves this is. We have to talk to them, but I’m hopeful that it’s all going to work out for the best.

Lindsay: ^I could only nod my head at his words. He knew Cay better than I did. It didn’t matter how much time we spent together in the shop. He knew her more intimately. And the same was true about me and Wes. I knew his reactions. But I didn’t know how he was going to be with another sub. I knew the things he had told me before I had come into the picture. But I knew that Cay was different.

We were all in a unique experience for us. This wasn’t what any of us had thought about when we first set up the rules. And maybe we were all blind to what could come from all of this. I saw more upsides to downsides. But I was also mildly blind by my own needs and desires. And right now, the only thing I wanted was to be wrapped up in the man who had me in his arms.^

Wes loves her. I’m not sure if it’s the same way that you and I love each other, but he feels something for her. It’s why she’s allowed to be in the playroom with him. He’d have found another place to take her if he didn’t have some kind of feelings for her. I just don’t know how I’m going to react if they tell us this is something that can’t happen. Because then I won’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do now. I don’t know how to plan for the fall out here. I don’t know what the right move to make is.

Myrick: -I could only nod for a second while I processed everything that was going on. There were far too many possibilities for what could happen. Just like Lindsay knew that Wes was in love with Cay, I knew she had feelings for him as well. It meant that the two of them were unlikely to pull the rug out from under all four of us and decide that whatever we had going wasn’t going to out, but it didn’t mean I could one hundred percent predict what was going to happen with them either.

We had a lot ot talk about, all four of us, and it was going to happen sooner or later. For tonight, I just wanted to be with her. I wanted to take advantage of the fact that we had tonight. It was going to be the first night that she could spend in my arms.-

And she loves him. I don’t think it’s going to be a problem, but I know I can’t make any promises. I think right now the right move to make is to stay right here. We’re going to have to talk to them, but tonight isn’t the time. So tonight, we have each other. Tomorrow, we can figure out what comes next. For now, I just want to have you to myself, even if that makes me selfish.

-I leaned in to press a kiss to the top of Lindsay’s head and pull her deeper into my arms, tangling myself around her. I didn’t plan on letting go for the rest of the night. Maybe tomorrow would bring something I didn’t expect. There was really no way of knowing until we got there. All I knew was that I wasn’t going to borrow trouble that I didn’t even know was going to exist. I wasn’t going to panic about it until I had to. For now, I had my Songbird.-

Lindsay: ^He was right. We did have tonight to just indulge in this. The feeling of being together and being allowed to be in love. There was no telling what the next day was going to bring. There was no telling what Cay and Wes were going to say about everything. And there was no telling what the two of them were discussing right now. Especially if Wes had asked if it was okay to keep her there.

I didn’t have a problem with her being in the bed I shared with Wes. There was no judgement from me because I was in the bed she shared with Daddy. But I couldn’t stop the thoughts from flying through my head. There was so much to consider when talking to the two of them. And no one knew what the reactions were going to be.

For the time being, I was in Daddy’s arms. This was the place that I was supposed to be. Without Wes knowing, this was the most precious gift he could have given me. I didn’t have a plan going into tomorrow. But I didn’t need one. I just needed a moment to think about everything. I needed to be in Daddy’s arms. I needed to know that this was okay. And for the time being, it was absolutely perfect.^

#OurHeartsAreHeavyBurdensWeShouldntHaveToBearAlone

[sinfulmyrick]

The Boulevard Is Not That Bad (SL with @ButYouHoldOn, @DayDividesNight, and @APerfectSong_)

Wesley: -The look on Lindsay’s face when I’d told her she could use the piano in the basement had been priceless. I knew how she felt about it. It was reserved as a reward for her doing something very right. I hadn’t had a chance to tell her how proud of her I’d been when she came to tell me that she needed more than just Sir and Rose, but I could let her use the piano for now and find a chance to talk to her about it when I got back today. I wanted her to know that she could always come and talk to me about anything that was bothering her.

I’d left her with Aaron and gone with Ophelia down to the garage to get the car. It would have been a long walk, and I didn’t know if Ophelia was up for it. Besides, I’d have liked her to spend as much time getting to know Cay and Myrick as she could. I’d called to make sure they were going to be in the shop today. I knew Cay was still getting over Watson’s birth, but I also knew how much she was going to miss being in the shop. It turned out that today was going to be her first day back while Amelia and Myrick’s sister Emily were watching the baby for them upstairs in the apartment above the shop. Em had moved in there not too long ago, and I knew Myrick was relieved to have his little sister closer, even if she was looking for her own place while she studied for her Bar exam.  

The drive was short, but it gave me a chance to get to talk to Ophelia. I felt like I needed to warn her about a few things. It hadn’t occurred to me yesterday to tell her about Cay. I hadn’t even been certain that Cay was going to feel up to meeting anyone new today. It would be the first time I’d seen her since the baby had been born, as a matter of fact. But when I’d called to ask if she and Myrick would be in the shop today, she’d sounded excited about me bringing a new friend to the shop for her. It made me grin to hear the happiness in her voice. Things were finally going well for the two of them, and I was happy that the two of them were happy. They both meant a lot to the two of us.

I glanced over at Ophelia in the passenger seat next to me and tried to shoot her a friendly grin-

So, I probably need to tell you a few things before we get where we’re going. Lindsay is my fiancee, but she’s a Little. And I’m not exactly the world’s greatest at being a Daddy. I met Cay and Myrick at a shop I found in the Bronx to order things for the playroom at the penthouse. Myrick is a much better Daddy than I could ever dream of being, but he’s not much of Sir. The four of us are all in something of a relationship together, if that makes sense. Please don’t be alarmed if Cay is affectionate with me. It’s not anything behind anyone’s back.

-I only hoped I was making sense to Ophelia. I knew our relationship was something that wasn’t exactly common, but it hadn’t occurred to me that I’d need to explain it to my guest until we were on the way. It was absolutely normal for me to walk in the shop and have Cay walk over and give me a kiss or find Lindsay curled up in Myrick’s lap. It was the thing that we were all around each other for. I just didn’t know how Ophelia was going to react to all of it.-

Ophelia: *I wasn’t entirely sure what I had been expecting. But for Wesley to tell me that there was another girl and guy in the mix was something short of shocking. Although, I was kind of glad he was being honest about all of it. It wasn’t something I wanted to be put in the middle of. I didn’t want to feel like I was going to have to tell AJ we couldn’t do this duet because I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to hide the affair from her. But knowing that Wesley had the girl and the guy also had Lindsay made it just a little bit better. And honestly, whatever worked for them and all the adults were consenting. I didn’t exactly have room to talk about it. When AJ and I were in the playroom, we tended to take it to a line that most Doms and subs won’t cross. But it was something the two of us loved doing. And there was no one in the world that understood how far was too far with me. AJ just knew instinctively.

But I was afraid of how I was going to be perceived walking into the club with Wesley. And I wasn’t sure if I was going to have to be in subspace to go into the shop with him. I had a million questions swirling in my head as we got closer to the shop. I could see a club with a trinity knot on the sign outside of the building.* So Cay is going to be affectionate. Is Myrick going to be disappointed that I’m here and not Lindsay? And am I going to have to walk in there like a sub? Because you’re going to have to give me a minute to get into that headspace if that’s the case.

*I knew I was overthinking everything. But at the same time, I didn’t want things to go wrong for both Aaron and Wesley. If it was going to be easier to call him Sir or Mr. Francis, I was going to do it. I didn’t want anyone to think that I wasn’t going to be the polite sub that I knew I could be when in the presence of other doms. I just wasn’t sure what was expected of me here. And being surrounded by doms and subs was going to make me question everything.*

Wesley: -I was kicking myself a little for not explaining more to her about where we were going. I watched her tense as she registered the club and started asking questions. I hadn’t meant for that to happen, but I intended to put her at ease as soon as possible.-

This is informal. I promise. Trinity is the club. Temptations is the shop. Cay runs the shop. Myrick and Lindsay help her. You walk in there as yourself. Myrick knows that Lindsay is in rehearsals today. I’m sure he’s going to be caught up in it being his fiancee’s first day in the shop since their son was born. There are no rules in the shop. It’s open to everyone.

I wanted to introduce you to them. They’re good people. You can just be yourself around them. I promise there’s nothing to be tense about.

-Parking the car was pretty simple this time of day in this neighborhood. It wasn’t like downtown Manhattan. Things were quieter and more simple. I knew why Amelia enjoyed this neighborhood as much as she did. I needed to live closer to the studio than this, but it was honestly a nice place out here.

I walked around to open the door for Ophelia and help her out of the car onto the sidewalk in front of the Little Shoppe of Temptations. I’d been here a million times, until it was honestly starting to feel like a second home to both Lindsay and me-

Cay: ^Part of me wanted to be upstairs with Mellie and Emmy. I wanted to watch the two of them gush over Watson. I may have been biased, but he was the sweetest baby in the world. And I almost would have stayed up there, had it not been for the glare garnered by Mellie when I tried to follow her up the stairs. But there was apart of me that was excited to be at the shop. This was the place I had missed the most once Watson had come.

I loved spending time with my son, but I was also slightly jealous of Daddy. Daddy had the chance to get out of the house. I had forced him to leave once we had started allowing Cass to come over to see the baby. I didn’t need a babysitter twenty four hours a day. And I was fully capable of taking care of a baby. And really, I had only needed someone there while my stomach was healing. I wasn’t entirely thrilled with the scar that ran down the center of my stomach, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. It was a sign that my son had made it into the world safe and okay. It wasn’t something I was going to change any time in the near future.

Today was even more special, though. Sir had called to ask if Daddy and I were going to be at the shop. He had told us that Nightingale was asked to work with a new artist, so she wouldn’t be in. But he had someone he wanted us to meet. It almost made me a little weary. I wasn’t sure if I was going to have to watch how I acted around Sir, but Daddy reminded me that this was also the first time I was seeing Sir since Watson had been born.

Sir deserved a welcome back as much as I deserved one. I had missed our time together, but I knew that Nightingale was taking care of him. The four of us took care of each other. And while I was recovering, I knew that Nightingale had picked up the slack with both men while I couldn’t. But this was different. I wanted to see Sir. And in my own way, I needed to see Sir. I missed having him around. I missed his little visits. And part of me was starting to get jealous of the time Nightingale had with Daddy.

As soon as the door chimed, a wide smile spread across my face. Sir was here. There was little that could be done as I started jogging through the shop before launching myself into Sir’s arms with a squeal. Half a second later, my lips were against every inch of skin I could reach. I felt myself relax as Sir’s hand came into my hair to hold me against him. The deep laugh made me smile.^ They kept you from me. It’s not fair. I blame Watson.

Wes: -I chuckled softly when Cay launched herself at me, pressing her lips to anywhere she could. All I could do was wrap my arms around her and hold her as close as I could while I let her greet me in her own way. It had been a few weeks since we’d been able to see each other. I let her get all her kisses out before I moved to brush one of my own across her lips-

You can’t blame the baby, Cardinal. He’s too young to know better. Besides, you needed your rest. I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to come see you.

-I reached down to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear and rest my hand on her cheek. I could hear Myrick laughing softly to himself from behind the counter where he was working in a sketchbook-

I brought someone I needed to introduce you both too. Cay… Myrick… This is Ophelia. Her boyfriend Aaron is recording a song with Lindsay. The two of them are rehearsing, and she’s new to the city, so I thought I’d introduce her to some people around the city. I couldn’t imagine anyone I thought she’d get along with better than you two. It seems we all have a lot in common.

-I slid my arm around Cay’s waist, pulling her into my side as I redirected their attention to the young woman at my side.-

Ophelia: *The girl that had launched herself at Wesley could not have been more than eighteen years old. It was surprising that he went for someone that young. But then I realized what he had said. He had met Lindsay when she was a teenager. It wasn’t necessarily a surprise that he was interested in younger girls. But it was the man behind the counter that caught my attention. All he did was shake his head and laugh as the little redhead tossed herself into Wesley’s arms. And in that moment it all clicked together.

The little redhead wrapped around Wesley was very clearly a little. But even I knew that Wesley wasn’t a Daddy. The man behind the counter screamed Daddy, though. While he trusted Wesley, his eyes kept scanning the store. They would land on the girl in Wesley’s arms and he would smile slightly. They worked as a foursome. No matter how that was to happen. And it wasn’t my place to judge them. They made it work. And that’s what mattered. It was something I could understand.* I’m sorry for barging in on the party? I guess I’m actually just sorry for ruining the reunion.

*I felt myself start to blush a little before I twisted the piercing in my cheek. I wasn’t sure what part of me was supposed to be here. But I guess it would come naturally.* I’m sorry I’m not Lindsay. I feel like she should be here, not me. But she’s currently in a basement with my Sir while they work on a track together. Wes thought the best thing for me was to come out and meet you?

Myrick: -I thought it was adorable the way Cay bounced across the store to say hello to Wesley. To be fair, it had been a while since they’d seen each other, and I understood why he couldn’t make it out to the condo, especially when Songbird told me what he was up to back at work. Things got busy from time to time. Sometimes, we all had a lot going on. God knows the last couple of weeks had been busy as heck around here.

I could see the nerves written all over Ophelia’s face when she’d walked into the room, but I’d chalked that up to being around people she didn’t know. I knew how I felt around new people, and being in a completely new city was even worse. Pushing up from where I’d been sitting and drawing at the counter, I made my way over to where the rest of them were standing, holding a hand out to Ophelia.-

I’m Myrick, and I see Lindsay most days she’s not in the studio. She’s been helping out around the shop since Cay got so far along with the baby that she had to rest. He’s upstairs at the moment with my sister and one of our best friends. So don’t worry about not being Lindsay. I’m glad you got a chance to come out and meet us.

Cay: ^I let myself relax against Sir. I was very glad that Daddy understood what was going on with me, though. There could have been so many misunderstandings if any of the four of us got jealous. But it was one of those things that we all just instinctively knew what was needed. It was why I didn’t hesitate to run to Sir. The only thing that slowed me down was the idea that I was still healing.

My voice was almost shy as I turned my head to look at the woman who was almost fascinated by Daddy. It was cute. It was a different look than I had or even Lindsay. We both had some kind of feelings for him. It was rare to be around someone who just didn’t have feelings, but was also in the lifestyle.^

Daddy is quite literally my Baby Daddy. I mean, yes. He is more than that. But still. Long long story there. But I gave birth like a month ago. So I haven’t seen Sir in about that long. Could be more. Really, it was just before he got to work on Nightingale’s album. So I’m just a little bit more clingy than normal. It’s been a while. But he’s right. The best place for you to be is this shop. It’s a beacon for people that know no one in a weird city. It’s where I met Sir. It’s kind of how I met Daddy. And Nightingale works here now. Everything just kind of works here.

Wesley: -I pulled Lindsay a little closer into my side. She was right. It had been weeks since I’d gotten to see either of them. Things got busy at the office and I had to make sure that Lindsay’s album turned out perfectly. I’d really just finished everything up when Aaron’s request had landed on my desk. I regretted that it had taken me away from the people I was quickly coming to consider my family here in the city, but I was glad they at least understood.-

This shop is an interesting place. I mean besides the fact that it’s essentially a sex shop.

-I chuckled softly and kissed Cay on the temple-

It’s been sort of an informal gathering place in the city for people who lead a lifestyle most people wouldn’t understand. I’m pretty sure that Cardinal’s to blame for that, even if she won’t hear it. The club next door Trinity belongs to our friend Amelia, who I’m guessing is upstairs with the baby, Watson.

-I raised an eyebrow until Cay confirmed with a nod.-

Besides, I know it’s important to have people you can be open about your life with, friends you can talk to about things that other people wouldn’t understand.

Ophelia: *I saw Cay roll her eyes as Wes said she was to blame for the fact that the shop catered to people in our lifestyle. She seemed like the kind of person that didn’t want to take credit for something. But I couldn’t help but look around the shop in amazement. There was so much going on. And I wondered how she was able to handle it all. Especially with a new baby.

But I was reminded that she had the man in front of me and Lindsay. Both of them were here to help take care of the tiny girl that stood in front of me. There was no surprise that this was exactly where everyone wanted to be. She seemed to be the one that held everyone together. And it was something I almost craved. I wasn’t sure what AJ was going to want, but I knew that we were probably going to end up living in the city. Especially if everything went perfectly with Lindsay.*

This place is amazing. Even if it doesn’t cater to the BDSM crowd. It’s just an amazing shop. It has that warm feeling to it. Like the people in here care about everyone else. It’s like you knew every item in this shop. And you can tell people how to use it without getting hurt. It’s just so goddamn beautiful.

Cay: ^I let out a groan as I moved from Sir’s side to Daddy’s side. I was pouting a little because I knew the baby was upstairs. And the mother side of me was screaming to go upstairs and grab him. In truth, I knew that Sir needed to meet him, too. Pressing my lips to Daddy’s chest, I just gave him a pointed look up to the apartment upstairs. He knew what I wanted and laughed softly before taking a kiss from my lips. He was off in no time to get our son.

Turning my attention back to the two in front of me, I gave them a shy smile. I wasn’t sure what to say about the shop. They were right. There were some things that I was to blame for here. Especially the increase in doms and subs coming into the shop to set up their playrooms.^ I don’t sell things unless I know how they work. Both Daddy and Sir help me figure out the different items we sell. And it’s the same with Lindsay. We’re all experienced in how every item in here works. And if it’s not here, I can get my hands on it. It’s what I do.

^Rubbing my face, I let out a soft laugh. There was so much about this shop that I loved. But the thing was that this shop was my home. It always had been.^ In reality, I owe Amelia and Cassidy so much. They gave me a place to live when I wasn’t sure what was going on in my own life. They trusted me to run this place. And it was just natural that I brought in the BDSM clients. It’s grown in a way I never could have imagined. I’ve had a hand in setting up more playrooms than I care to admit. Including the playroom of the man that is standing behind you.

Wes: -I laughed softly as Ophelia turned to face me when Cay mentioned that she’d had a hand in setting up my playroom. She wasn’t wrong. Everything that was in place there was something that she had helped to order except for the piano. That was the one thing that I had brought with me from Las Vegas. I’d started over from scratch when we moved to New York. Part of the reason I’d done that was for Lindsay. I’d  wanted to make the playroom here entirely ours together, and doing that was how I’d met Cay and brought she and Myrick into our lives.-

Cay is modest, but she’s not wrong about the whole playroom thing. Anyone who is into BDSM in this city eventually finds their way into either this shop or the club next door on one of their theme nights. Besides, Cay and Myrick do a pretty good job of making people feel at home around here.

-It was just about then that Myrick got down to the bottom of the stairs with a bundle of blankets in his arms. That had to be Watson. He made a straight line for Cay, lowering the baby into her arms as her face exploded into a huge grin.-

Cay: ^I could only let out a soft squeak as Daddy put Watson into my arms. His head bent down to give his son a soft kiss before resting them on my head. It was part of the reason I loved Daddy. He was exceptional with the baby, and it made me want to be a better Mom.

Looking at the pair in front of us, I brought my voice down a level before moving the blanket away from Watson’s face. He was awake, and his hazel eyes were shining up at me. It made me that much happier to know he was actually Daddy’s son and not Del’s. The eyes were a dead giveaway about who his father was. And it was a concern Sir was well aware of.^ And this is the little man who has been keeping me from everything I love dear that isn’t at my condo. Watson, I want you to meet Uncle Wes, and his friend Miss Ophelia.

^The look on Ophelia’s face was priceless. It was a mix between wonder and desire. But I hadn’t been expecting the look on Sir’s. It was like he suddenly realized that he wanted this with Nightingale. And that was something we all knew was going to happen eventually.^

You’re allowed to hold him, Uncle Wes. I’m sure Lindsay wouldn’t mind getting a picture of the two of you from Daddy.

Wes: -My eyes went a little wide as Cay offered to let me hold Watson. I couldn’t recall the last time that I’d held a baby, but I would have been lying if it wasn’t something I wanted. I just knew that Lindsay and I were trying to figure ourselves out before we took any major steps. We might have been engaged and living together, but we were still working out our roles in everything. That didn’t stop me from imagining that eventually we would have everything together.

For now, I could be satisfied with being Uncle Wes. I let her settle Watson into my arms, noting how much he looked like his father before I glanced up at both of them-

He’s perfect. I can’t tell you how happy I am for both of you.

Ophelia: *I was a little out of my element. But I couldn’t help but look on with desire. I knew I wasn’t in that space with AJ. But I wanted to be. But we still needed time. We needed to find a place to settle down. And the longer we were in New York, the more I wanted to end up here.

I watched Cay lean into Myrick as they both watched Wes. It was like they needed him in their life. Almost as if they couldn’t survive without him. It was refreshing to see people in this world that actually cared for those around them. And it almost made me want to shy away from everything around me. It was too much to handle without AJ here. In whatever capacity he decided to be here in. I just wasn’t sure I was meant to see this.

But I caught the look in Myrick’s eyes. It was like he knew I wasn’t exactly the most comfortable here. I was just trying to figure out where I could fit in here. And it was hard to imagine without AJ here. It was like a piece of my soul was missing.* I didn’t mean to pull you away from your son. Wes just volunteered to bring me around the city while Sir and Lindsay work on a song together. I just hope everything is going okay there.

Myrick: -I could see the mix of emotions that swirled through Ophelia’s expression between the time I brought Watson down from upstairs and the time she turned to face both of us. It was an interesting combination, and I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on inside her thoughts. When she glanced up to meet my eyes, I could see that she felt a little awkward. It was an emotion I could understand. We were mostly virtual strangers to her. The only person she’d met before today was Wesley, and I got the impression that they’d only recently met each other. She was in a new place, a new city, and surrounded by new people. It could all be more than a little overwhelming.

When I heard her mention her Sir, I had an idea.-

So, I know this is all a little overwhelming, but what would you say to you and your Sir coming over to our place for dinner one night or another. There’s usually someone around between family and friends, so before you say you don’t want to intrude, just know I wouldn’t be inviting you if I didn’t mean it.

Cay: ^I rolled my eyes as Daddy asked if Ophelia wanted to get together with all of us for dinner. But he was thinking long term. Turning to Sir, I tilted my head to the side and gave him an innocent smile. He knew I was the furthest thing from innocent, but I loved teasing him. I loved it when he called me on not being innocent. It was just another part of our relationship that I loved.^

Do you want to send Lindsay a text? Have her and Aaron meet us here for dinner? I’m sure we could find something to have. Maybe sushi or Italian? Anything but Thai.

^Daddy’s lips turned into a smile as Sir let out a soft laugh. Ophelia was just looking between all of us like she was a little lost. And I realized that she had no idea why I wasn’t going to be a fan of Thai for the foreseeable future. Taking Watson from Sir, I gently rocked him from side to side.^ This little man had me craving all kinds of Thai food for the entire nine months that I was pregnant. So much so that Daddy had his card on file at the Thai place down the street. They knew me by name there.

Wes: -I could only grin and pull my phone out of my pants pocket to text Lindsay. It was an excellent idea, and it would give all of us a chance to get to know each other better. It didn’t matter where we went for dinner. It was just important that we got to spend the the time together.

I was certain that Lindsay was going to say yes, but I wanted to give her the chance to decide for herself. Today was going to be a long day for her in the rehearsal studio. I had no idea how it was going, but like Ophelia, I hoped it was going well for the both of them. I was looking forward to having Lindsay back at my side with the rest of them there for dinner this evening.-

Well, it sounds like a great idea that I can’t believe no one came up with before now. So, I’ll let you ladies decide where we eat tonight. It doesn’t matter to me, as long as it’s not Thai.

-I leaned over to press a kiss to Cay’s temple.-

She did eat an unreasonable amount of Thai food while she was pregnant with Watson. It was what we ate together the first time we really got to know each other as a matter of fact.

Ophelia: *I could only give Wes and Cay a small smile. I still wasn’t entirely sure what my part was in all of this. But I was willing to find out. I was kind of happy there was no pressure to be any more involved than just this. They worked together, and part of me had been terrified that Wes was bringing me here to try and introduce us as another potential couple to play with. And that was the last thing I wanted, honestly. I was content with just AJ. But I could see why Cay worked well with both Myrick and Wesley.

But I needed to know how I was supposed to act throughout this whole dinner. I didn’t want to put them in an awkward position. If this was going to be a Dom and Sub dinner, I needed to know so I could make the switch from Ophelia to Doll.* I know Wes and I have talked a little bit about the relationship between all of you. But I just need to know so I can be in the right mindframe. Is this going to be a dinner with Doms and subs or is this just going to be all of us having dinner together?

Cay: ^I knew that the four of us could be a lot to handle when we were in the same room together. Even more so when Lindsay and I were in subspace. But I knew Ophelia was asking a very realistic question. There were some subs that couldn’t flip the switch quite so fast. It took some prep for it to happen. And that was okay. There was nothing wrong with needing some time to get into that frame of mind.

But it also wasn’t something I wanted to push on her. I knew it could absolutely be intimidating to go into a dinner with an established couple and not understand the dynamic. But Ophelia deserved to know the truth.^ Myrick and I are the only ones that have a twenty four seven kind of relationship.

^I felt my nose wrinkle as I called him Myrick. It still felt weird coming from my mouth. It wasn’t something I wanted to ever say. But occasionally it slipped out when I was talking about our relationship. Especially if they didn’t know anything about it.^ He’s naturally a Daddy. So literally everyone except his sister and my bosses refer to him as Daddy. Please don’t feel like you have to call him Daddy. That’s not what I was saying.

^I let out a little huff as I thought about what I was trying to say. I had never been great with words. It was just something I could try to work on.^ If you have little tendencies, Daddy tends to bring them out without trying. The littles in our family tend to gravitate towards him. So Lindsay and I will always refer to him as Daddy. You can call him Myrick or Mr. Baines. Actually, don’t call him Mr. Baines. I’m liable to commit murder.

^I bit down on my bottom lip as Wes watched our interaction. I was rambling, and I knew it. But for some reason, I wasn’t able to stop myself from going on. Putting my hands behind my back, I swayed slightly on my heels.^ Sorry. I just don’t think sometimes.

Myrick: -I watched as Cay started to struggle with telling Ophelia what to call me. I knew that it was just natural for most of the rest of the group to either call me Daddy or Myrick. I was pretty certain that Ophelia was going to fall into the latter of the two, but for now, I was more concerned about Cay’s frustration in the moment. I reached out to pull her into my side, wrapping an arm around her waist and pressing a kiss to her temple before I turned to smile at Ophelia.-

You can call my Myrick, if you’re comfortable with that. We may be twenty-four seven, but it’s more just the natural dynamic I wind up having with both the girls. I can’t really let go of that part of me. It’s a little different than the normal dom-sub thing, but you’ll probably see that if you’re around us for very long.

-Wesley’s phone chose that exact moment to go off with a notifcation. It was probably the message from Lindsay letting us know that the two of them were up for dinner tonight.-

Wesley: -The text I had received was from Lindsay accepting the dinner invitation. The only thing left to do was pick a place for the six of us to get together. I still had the baby in one arm, curled into my chest, though I knew LIa and Cass would jump at the chance to keep him for the evening so his parents could get out for a night. I was pretty sure the two of them hadn’t left him for an evening since he was born. Watson yawned, shoving half of a fist into his mouth as he drifted off to sleep in my arms. He was still so small, only a few weeks old, it was a little surreal to think about.-

So, Lindsay and Aaron say yes. Let me get baby Watson upstairs to his aunts and we can talk about where we’re going.

-Cay was in good hands with Myrick, and I glanced over at Ophelia who was still looking a little nervous to be left in a room full of strangers.-

I’ll only be a moment, I promise. Dinner will be absolutely casual. I just know you and Aaron could use a few friends around here. New York is kind of a scary place, but you don’t have to be anything you’re not around them. You don’t have to pretend to be anything or hide whatever pops into your head to do. If you’re feeling like a sub around Aaron or just his girlfriend, it doesn’t matter, you can be you without worrying what people think about it. It’s just that I know how it feels to have to put on a facade most of the day when you’re working with your other half.

Ophelia: *There wasn’t much I could say to them. The truth was that I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t used to being able to be whatever I wanted with AJ in public. It was rarely Doll. Mostly, I was Ophie. But if he was in the studio, I was strictly Ophelia. We had come to terms with that rule long ago. We felt that in this industry, we were more likely to get taken seriously if we didn’t throw our relationship in everyone’s faces. It was something I had been okay with.

But then I had met Wesley. I learned that he had, with Lindsay, something I wanted with Aaron. I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to put everything out there for everyone to see, but I did want people to know that I wasn’t just his assistant. And it was nice to see that Cay and Myrick could balance out their relationship everywhere. I could tell that this was the one place that Myrick answered to Cay, but they loved each other enough to respect any and all decisions made.

It kind of made me excited to get to know everyone more. But it was still something that was mildly terrifying. I wasn’t sure what the right move to make was. And that was probably because I didn’t know what AJ thought about all of this. I didn’t know if he liked the people that I was currently smitten with. I didn’t know if he was going to decide that he wanted to be somewhere else. But part of me knew the truth. He was going to enjoy working with Lindsay. He was going to want to stay close just so the two of them had the chance to work together.

AJ wasn’t going to rip this away from me. Especially if we had a conversation about how I was feeling. I wanted him to know that this was something that I wanted. I wanted to learn more about Cay and Myrick. I wanted to come visit the shop. I wanted to learn everything there was to know about the group I was currently hanging out with. I wanted something that I hadn’t had in a very long time. I wanted a family, and this seemed like the only chance I was going to get to have one that accepted every part of me. And not the parts I wanted them to see.*

#TheBoulevardIsNotThatBad

[sinfulmyrick]

Don’t Know Just Why You Do (SL with @DayDividesNight)

Cay: ^The weekend with Emmy had been everything I had hoped it would be. Everything was just falling into place. Mellie and Cass just adopted her. Especially when they found out the reason why the three of us hadn’t been in Hartford for more than a few hours. They knew what it was like to be disowned from your family just because you didn’t fit in. Emmy was now their baby sister. And they were going to take care of her.

And things had been smooth sailing for us since we had left Hartford. Em had gone back to school knowing that she didn’t have much longer there. Maybe a month if my timing was right. And Daddy wanted nothing to do with the family in Hartford. The moment they turned their back on Em, he wanted nothing to do with them.

But that didn’t mean that they didn’t try. There was no denying that Daddy was ignoring them. I couldn’t help the giggle that slipped from my lips every time his phone rang. He’d just roll his eyes and silence it. And those of us around him made sure he knew that we supported him.

If it happened while he was at the shop, I usually pressed my lips against his. I wanted Daddy to know that I understood what he was doing. And if I was busy with a customer, Nightingale was right there to comb her fingers through his hair. The two of them were never openly affectionate when there were customers around. But those close to us knew the truth of our relationship. It wasn’t something we were going to hide from our family. While each couple was an entity in its own right, the four of us had become like a packaged deal.

But I was lost in my head as I heard the chime above the front door ring out. Daddy was sitting behind the counter like he would any other day. Nightingale was fluttering around the shop making sure things were in order. I was getting closer to my due date, and she had taken it upon herself to take over the harder tasks.^ Someone will be right with you!

^But it was the gasp that made my head fly towards the door. And I wasn’t sure what I had been expecting. But the look of abject horror was not it. Everyone that walked into the shop knew what they were getting themselves into. But I guess that was reserved for people who lived in the Bronx. That didn’t apply to snobby women that lived up in Connecticut.

And I knew the woman that was standing in my shop. I had sat next to her for all of maybe ten minutes before Emmy had blurted out that she was a lesbian. But I didn’t understand what the hell Daddy’s sister in law was doing standing in the middle of my shop. And she looked like she was scared of everything around her.^ Courtney? You wanna tell me why you wandered into my shop?

Myrick: -I didn’t even look up when a customer walked into the shop. I was working on another drawing for one of Cherish Ambrose’s books. She was my best client, the one I’d worked with longer than anyone else, and she was in the middle of another book. She’d send me a piece at a time to illustrate because my drawing went a lot slower than her writing. When I was done, she’d send me the next portion until it was all done. I wanted to get this piece done for her sooner rather than later, and the weekend we’d gone up to Connecticut had put me a little behind. I was playing catch up, and with both girls in the shop, I could hang around and put all my focus on getting the art done.

I was half expecting my phone to ring at any minute, looking for my family to try to call me again. They’d pick random times of day, hoping to catch me off guard, most likely. They’d tried from the house, my father’s office, everyone’s cell phone, and the Junior League office line. I’d dismissed the call every time. I happened to know for a fact they hadn’t tried to contact Emily even once. It was almost like she didn’t exist, but she’d come here for a weekend instead. I hoped she’d walked away with a new family. I knew Cassie and Lia had called and checked on her a few times since, and they were in contact with her. The two of them treated her like she was their own little sister. It was more than I could have asked from anyone, and far more than my family ever did for either of us. It just resolved me to the fact that I’d been right to keep my distance from them all along, and I didn’t want them to have any part of my life with Cay or Watson. I had all the family I needed right here.

Lindsay was working around the shop, and while she and I didn’t have the same relationship I had with Cay, it was still a comfort to have her around. When I got too lost in my head, one of them would pop over and press a kiss to my cheek or run their fingers through my hair. It centered me and kept me focused on my work.

But all my focus was gone when I heard Cay say a name I knew very well. Courtney… I looked up from my work to see my brother’s wife standing in the doorway with a look of abject horror on her face. They’d gotten the shop address somehow, but they hadn’t managed to figure out what sort of shop it was. That much was written all over her expression. I felt a little smug knowing how scandalized she was. I half-hoped she’d go back tattling to Mother, and the lot of them would write me off for good.

She tried to talk, but she was stammering and looking around her while her cheeks blossomed into a bright red.

“I… um… well… Hello.” She glanced around her, clutching her handbag close to her torso as she took a trepidatious step further into the room.

I pushed up from the stool behind the counter where I was working and walked out into the shop. There was no way I was going to leave Cay alone to deal with Courtney. She could be my Mother’s twin when she tried.

“I just came down to help get you on your feet with planning the wedding. I know you’ve got your hands full with everything.” Her eyes drifted down to Cay’s growing belly and then around the shop like she wanted to say something more, but was biting her tongue-

Courtney, I have no idea why you decided that just coming down here unannounced was going to magically work out, but I hope you’ve got a better excuse than this ‘trying to plan’ the wedding nonsense.

-I was suddenly feeling very protective, and having Courtney walk into the shop like that had set me on edge. I half put myself between Cay and the front door. I wasn’t going to leave her to take any of this that she shouldn’t have to handle.-

Cay: ^I held my hand up as Daddy went on the defensive. I knew why he was doing it. But I also knew that he needed to take a moment to relax. We didn’t know what was going on. And as much as I didn’t want the Connecticut Baines family sticking their nose in where it didn’t belong, I understood why they wanted to come down and talk about the wedding.

And the truth was that Courtney was the easiest one to stomach. I wasn’t sure how I would have reacted had it been Daddy’s mother who had come down. But that was something I didn’t have to worry about at the moment. But I felt my lips start to move as I thought about planning a wedding.^ Noah and I haven’t picked a date. Right now, the biggest worry we have is bringing the baby into the world. A wedding just hasn’t been that important.

^As terrified as Courtney was of the store, she moved up to the desk where I had been sitting. My ankles were very quickly swelling with each step, so Daddy had ordered me to my feet. Nightingale was here, and she was absolutely capable of running around. At least, that was what Daddy had said.

“Well, it doesn’t matter if you have a date. Mother Baines said to tell you that the house on the Cape is available at the end of summer. That’s where the wedding will be”

I could only stare at the woman in front of me, though. I wasn’t sure how I felt about getting married up in Connecticut. My idea had always been to get married in New York. This was my home. This was the place I had met Daddy. This was the place I had found a family. This was where I wanted my wedding to be.^ Noah and I are getting married in New York. We’re not going to the Cape.

Myrick: -I just blinked as Courtney said that the house on the Cape was available at the end of the summer and told Cay and I that was where the wedding was going to be like we were just going to roll over and say sure thing just because the Cape house was available.

It didn’t help that Cay was back to calling me Noah instead of Daddy right now. Most of the time, it didn’t matter who was walking into the shop, she didn’t change her vocabulary for any of them, but it was Courtney, and she slipped back into the role she’d set up for herself that weekend in Connecticut. I didn’t like it.-

I think you’re confused. Maybe you’re both confused. We’ll get married here in the city with our friends and family present, at least the family that’s shown that they give a damn.

-I wasn’t in the habit of cursing, but this was one of those situations that seemed to call for stronger than normal language.-

I personally don’t care if I ever go to the cape again, and as for my wedding, it most certainly will not be at house that Mother forced us to go to so she could be just like all the other wives and mothers who spent their summers at the Cape.

-Courtney’s expression was complete and total shock. Between being surrounded by the sex toys that made up this part of the shop and the fact that the two of us were defying what I’m sure she thought was a very generous offer, she was absolutely overwhelmed. But she didn’t have the same stubborn streak in her my mother had. Mostly she was just flabbergasted that we weren’t absolutely beside ourselves trying to take her up on it.

“I’m not certain you understand. Your parents are offering to pay for everything at the Cape, and I’m sure the two of you can’t afford to …”

I wasn’t going to let her go on a moment longer. Of course they were going to throw money in my face. It was the way the operated. They were good at throwing money at problems. This problem just wasn’t one that they were going to be able to go throw money at.-

Stop right there. Please go back to Hartford and tell Mother I said that she can shove her money where Father won’t find it for another decade or so.

Cay: ^Color me surprised when Daddy said damn. But I understood it. Everything was different right now. Normally, I didn’t give a damn about who was in the shop. I called him Daddy. But Courtney was different. She was part of the Connecticut Baines group that would never understand why I called him Daddy. And it wasn’t something I was in the mood to explain.

I could feel my blood pressure starting to go up as Courtney tried to get us to accept what was being offered. But there was something sitting in the back of my mind. And I was sure Daddy knew about it. It just wasn’t something we had talked about yet.^

My bosses offered to pay for the wedding. When we were ready. Because they knew that there were more important things in our life other than getting married. Amelia said when we were ready to get married, she would pay for it. Because even if Noah’s parents are willing to pay for it, traditionally, it’s the bride’s family that pays for it.

^I felt a stabbing pain in my back, but I let it go. There was something more important than dealing with Courtney and Mother Baines’ desire for us to be married at the Cape. I needed the two of them to know that they couldn’t push me around. I wasn’t that kind of girl. I didn’t want my wedding to be in Cape fucking Cod, so it was not going to be there.^ It’s not going to happen. It doesn’t matter what decorum says. My wedding is not going to be on fucking Cape Cod. I do not think so.

^I noticed that Nightingale had slowly moved from her spot in a different part of the store to come check on Daddy and me. But she didn’t get the words out before there was liquid pooling at my feet. My eyes were wide as I turned around to the man that meant everything to me.^ Your son is ready to make his debut, Daddy.

Myrick: -I was about ready to kick Courtney out of the shop in the most polite way I could muster when I heard the tone of Cay’s voice change. I completely forgot whatever I was about to say as I turned on heel to see her eyes wide and Songbird rushing to her side. The puddle of water around her feet told me everything I needed to know, even if it was a moment before the words she’d said registered in my conscious mind.

Watson was coming. It was a little early, but not out of the realm of possibility. I froze for a minute, eyes darting around the room. We needed to get her to the hospital, all our things were back at the condo for the most part, but I could get someone to get them and bring them to us. I just needed to get her there as quickly as possible.-

Oh my god… Ok. Um… -I glanced up at Lindsay a little panicked- Songbird, can you call Cass and Lia? They’ll come take care of things here with you while we’re gone. -I didn’t even care that Courtney was there. I wasn’t going to change what I called her to suit someone I didn’t want to have anything to do with. Moving over to Cay, I leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, moving so I whispered against her ear.- Alright, Baby Love, we’ll get you to the hospital and then get our little guy into the world, ok?

-Wrapping an arm around her waist, as I turned to guide her out of the door and noticed my sister-in-law still standing there dumbstruck-

You really need to go. Tell my parents to stop calling, and just go. None of us here want or need any of your involvement. We’ll get married, when and where we decide to get married, and none of you are going to be invited, but you can be darn sure that Emily will be there. Get out of here, and stop pretending that you actually care. Now, if you’ll excuse us, I have to get my fiancee to the hospital.

Cay: ^I didn’t have the patience to deal with Courtney as she stood there watching what was about to happen. If she was anything like I thought she was, she had been one of those ladies that scheduled a c-section so she didn’t have to deal with the pain of giving birth.

I heard Nightingale on the phone with Cass, and I knew the shop was in good hands. Nightingale had learned what she needed to in the time she had. But there was no doubt in my mind that Cass would leave her alone. And I was definitely going to send Daddy over once things were settled at the condo with Watson. But that was a worry for another time.

I let out a scream as a contraction hit just as I was sitting in the car. Part of me was terrified. Watson was early. But not by much. I was 37 weeks. So in reality, he could come at any time. But I had been hoping he would stay for in there for the next three weeks. Watson, obviously, had a different idea. Trying to control both the panic and my breathing,I let my eyes fall on Daddy.^ Fucking hell. I’m never calling you Noah again. Every last person can kiss my ass if they think you’re anything other than Daddy. No fucks given!

Myrick: -I wanted to laugh when she gave up the whole Noah facade. I wasn’t used to being referred to by my middle name, and I wasn’t used to her calling me anything but Daddy. She might introduce me to people by my first name for the first time they met me, but when she was talking to or about me, it was just Daddy. That’s who I was. Plain and simple. And for her to have to change the way she referred to me for anyone just felt wrong.

It was just a sign that she was losing her cool completely with the situation. It would have been wrong of me to laugh under these particular circumstances, but I had to admit I was kind of proud of her for throwing all the pretenses to the wind.

The fact that she was screaming when the contractions hit worried me though. I knew that this was going to be a long and difficult process, but this was both our first times with this particular adventure. I wrapped my arm around her waist and guided her around the door, pretending Courtney didn’t even exist. I was pretty sure all it was going to take to make sure she didn’t ever come back was one call to Lia.-

Let’s go, Baby Love. I’m getting you to the hospital.

-We headed out to the car and I got her into the passenger seat without worrying about the seat belt. I knew she was uncomfortable enough as it was, and I was mostly concerned about keeping both of them safe and comfortable as possible until I got them to the hospital.-

Cay: ^I needed to focus on something else. I could not focus on the fact that it felt like my entire body was being pulled apart. But that was the price I was paying for having a baby. And I couldn’t be happier. But the pain was not something I wanted to experience at the moment.

I watched as the streets of The Bronx changed around us. It felt almost a little weird to be where we were. Daddy was doing everything he could do to get us to the hospital as safe as possible. But this was still New York City. Traffic was always a problem. Taking a breath as another contraction started, I felt my nails press against my palms.

Something else. I had to think about something else. I needed Daddy to talk to me about anything else besides the fact that Watson was coming into the world. I needed something to distract me from all of this.^ You need to call your Songbird or my Sir when we’re settled. Someone has to go take care of Leo! Someone has to give him love. And he needs food. We cannot forget about Leo, Daddy. I don’t care if Watson is coming into the world, Leo needs to be taken care of.

Myrick: -I could see Cay’s face go absolutely white as a sheet when the contractions hit her hard. I knew they were coming closer together with each mile I got closer to the hospital. The traffic was always an issue in New York, but it seemed like it was unbearable today of all days. I needed her in the hospital. I needed to know she and Watson were going to be safe. They were the forefront of my mind, but I hadn’t forgotten about Leo even if he was back at our condo in Hell’s Kitchen whole we were working for the day.

I’d known he was going to need some taking care of while we were away so I’d arranged for it already, and Lindsay knew we were on the way to the hospital. But if my girl wanted me to call and make sure he was alright then I was going to do it even if it turned out to be unnecessary. I reached over and grabbed her hand giving it a squeeze- I’ll call them as soon as we get you checked in. He’s going to be fine. I promise. They’ll take care of him.

-It might have seemed like forever before I pulled up in front of the emergency entrance, even if it wasn’t, but I finally had her here. It was just a matter of getting her through the door into the hospital now. I moved around to the passenger side to open the door and help her out of the car.-

Come on, let’s get you inside.

Cay: ^I wasn’t going to let Daddy see how scared I was. And I was, in fact, terrified. So much was going to be opened to us tonight. And there was still a part of me that was terrified that Daddy was going to turn around and walk away. Especially if Watson wasn’t actually his. I felt myself whisper out a prayer that that was something I didn’t have to deal with. There was so much I wanted to do with the man that was practically carrying me into the hospital.

It felt like no time had passed before I was being told to change into a hospital gown and settled into a room. But I guess they weren’t going to take any chances. Watson was early. And while it was only three weeks, he was still coming out sooner than had been expected.

As everyone walked out of the room, I let out a soft sob. Not because the pain was too much, but because the fear was too much. And hiding it from Daddy had been something I was tired of doing. I was tired of hiding everything from him. And I wanted everything out in the open for us.^ Promise me. Nothing changes once Watson gets here. Even if he’s not yours, promise me it changes nothing. At all. Ever.

Myrick: -I moved quickly to Cay’s side, letting my hands move up to cup her cheeks and force her to look at me. I knew she’d be looking down at her hands or in her lap if I didn’t, and I needed her to see that I meant everything I was about to say. It was one of those moments when we were between contractions. Things were happening faster than I’d have expected them to happen. He was early, but not so early that it was scary.

It was still scary, though. Neither of us had ever done this before so both of us were on uncertain ground. I knew she was scared, but I hadn’t known about her fears that anything would change or that I would even care whether or not Watson was mine.-

It doesn’t matter me one iota who Watson’s biological father is. He’s mine as much as you are. He always had been ever since I found out you were pregnant. None of the rest of what happened ever mattered to me for a moment. Just know that. No matter what happens, nothing is going to change between us. Watson is my son. End of.

-I leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead and then to her lips just before another contraction hit her. It was hard to watch her struggle. As tiny as she was, each contraction turned her whole body into a knot. All I could do was thread my fingers between hers and let her squeeze my hand until it was over.-

Cay: ^This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. I knew that. I knew that my body was going to practically destroy itself to get Watson out, but I didn’t think it was supposed to be this extreme. There was so much going on, and I constantly felt like I was being torn apart. Each contraction was met with another wave of pain. And that wave of pain caused me to practically fall apart against Daddy.

Words were being thrown around, though. And I wasn’t sure how I felt about them. And I was scared for Watson. I wasn’t sure what was going on, though. And everything felt like it was in a haze. But then the word cesarean came out of the doctor’s mouth. And I knew something was wrong. But the panic couldn’t come. I couldn’t let it bother me as much as I wanted it to. Still, I needed to protect Watson.

He was too big. I was too small. Either way, the decision was being taken away from me. More damage was going to come if I even attempted to have a natural birth with him. One or both of us was going to be at risk. And I knew Daddy was all for whatever protected us both. There was no way I was coming out of this unscathed, though. And it meant more time at home rather than in the shop. To be honest, my heart broke a little bit. Because I loved the shop. But I knew I was going to be off my feet for a while. Even if Daddy didn’t demand it, Cass and Mellie would.

I just needed a second to come to terms with all of this. All of the plans that I had made were out the window. I knew I wasn’t going to be in control when Watson came into the world, but this was starting to be a little much. All I could do was look to Daddy. I was helpless and didn’t know what was going on around me.^

Myrick: -Things were happening around the two of us so fast that we weren’t quite sure what was going on. I could see that Cay was in a bit of a panic, so I threaded my fingers between hers and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. She was going to have to have a c-section. Whatever it took to keep her and the baby safe was what needed to happen. It might mean we needed to make a few adjustments to things after he came, but that was more than worth it to ensure that the two of them were going to make it through the entire thing in one piece. -

I’ve got you, Baby Love. I’m not leaving you for any longer than I have to.

-The doctor had assured me that as soon as they got her settled into the operating room and me changed into a set of scrubs, they would let me in the room to be at her side. I could hold her hand through all of this. I could even be the first one who wasn’t a doctor to hold Watson. It mean hardly anything changed other than what Cay was having to go through. I was determined that I was going to have her hand in mine through as much of this as possible.

It was just about then that everything started to happen a lot faster than either of us was expecting, and before I’d fully realized what was going on, they were wheeling her bed out of the room and herding me off to the doctor’s locker room to get changed into some blue scrubs and a hairnet before I could head in to where they were prepping her for the surgery. My heart was in my throat because I had no idea what was going to happen, and I knew that there was no way I was going to be able to handle it if anything happened to her. All I could do was get dressed as quickly as possible and wait until they came to get me and show me where she was.

A nurse appeared after what seemed like an eternity, but was actually only a few minutes and took me into an operating theater full of stainless steel machines and beeping monitors. There was a chair behind a short curtain that was draped across Cay’s chest and she was there, lying on a table in the middle of all the noise and hubub of doctors and nurses buzzing around her. I went straight to her, threading my fingers back through hers to give her hand a squeeze. I wasn’t planning to let go of that hand until Waston was here.-

Cay:  ^It was weird. I couldn’t feel anything except the nerves that ran through me. Of course, that was thanks to the anesthetic that was working its way through my bottom half. I understood what was going on. They were going to cut me open to get my son out. And that’s what was important. I could make it through anything to make sure he was fine.

Everything was going so fast, though. It seemed in like no time Daddy had his hand wrapped around mine. His thumb making soft circles on the top of my hand. It was the only thing keeping me calm. The doctors had said they were going to start, but I didn’t care. I just wanted Watson out as safe as possible.

I felt the tears start to prick my eyes as I realized what was going on. Watson Holmes Baines was about to make his way into the world. We still hadn’t told his Aunt Amelia and his Aunt Cassidy that they were who he was named for. And I knew how they were going to react. Cass was going to a pile of mush. And Mellie was going to roll her eyes and tell me we shouldn’t have. But I had wanted to honor the only family I had.

In what felt like almost no time, I heard the soft cry as Daddy let go of my hand. I knew what was happening. There was a whole mess of responsibilities that he had as Watson’s father. And I couldn’t hold it against him to go do those things. All I could do was wait for the doctors to put my insides back in and close me up before I could hold my son.^

Myrick: -Things that had seemed to take forever now seemed to move fast like time couldn’t make up its mind about the pace it wanted to run. Some things seemed to happen so fast, and others took an eternity. But the soft cry that came from Watson told me that at least that part of the process was over. Cay wasn’t through with everything she needed to go through yet, but Watson was here. Half of my fears were allayed by the fact that he’d already begun crying. The other half were dependent upon how quickly they were able to get my girl back in one piece.

I had to let her hand go, and as much as I really wanted to sit here and keep it in mine, I also had to go and do the part of my job as a father that was immediate. I wasn’t going to get to cut the cord, that part of the process was taken out of my hands when the c-section became necessary, but it was part of my job to help the nurses clean him and to carry him off to the nursery while Cay was getting stitched up and wheeled off to recovery. I couldn’t have gone with her for all of that if I’d wanted to, but I could make sure she got a chance to hold our son before she did get taken off where the anesthesia would get a chance to wear off.

The moment he was clean and wrapped in a blanket, I brought him over to his mother just as they were prepping her to take her out of the room. They’d paused to wait for me to rest the little guy in her arms- Well, it’s a boy, Baby Love.

-I laughed and stole a kiss off her forehead. It was the one thing we’d really been waiting on since all of this had happened. He was here, and he’d opened his eyes for the first time since I’d been given my son, giving me a chance to actually notice his eyes were hazel like mine.

I hadn’t cared if he was genetically my son or not, but I knew it was something that had worried Cay because of everything that had happened. I hoped that was at least going to be a relief.-

Cay: ^I could only release a breath as Watson looked up at me. I knew those eyes. They were eyes I had been looking at every day for the past seven months. They were the eyes I had fallen in love with. They were eyes I trusted. They were eyes that had never hurt me. It was a relief. Watson was Daddy’s son. I felt the sob slip from my lips as Daddy took Watson back into his arms.

But I knew the reality of the situation. There was still so much that they needed to do with me. I still had to be cleaned up before I was going to be wheeled up to recovery. But I knew that there was nothing I wanted more than to be in a room with my Daddy and son. There was no way I wanted anything else. And it felt like a blink that I was being put back together to go back to my family. And even then, this wasn’t my entire family. I knew we needed to call Nightingale and Sir and Mellie and Cass and Emily. They were our family. They were the ones that we wanted to share this with. And there were still a million of things to consider with Watson and our family.

They were going to be the ones that were around for us. They were the ones that were going to accept us no matter what decision we made. They were the ones that didn’t want us to be someone we weren’t. And as I was wheeled back up to my room, I couldn’t help but think about how everything had turned out. My life was perfect. All of the bad shit didn’t matter. I had everything I was going to need.^

Myrick: -Everything that happened next was a blur after the birth. I had to take Watson to the nursery. They needed to weigh him and make sure everything was alright. I could carry him to the doctors and nurses waiting there, but they were going to have to take him from me for a bit. All I could do was wait outside in the hall and look through the large glass windows until he was bundled up in a blanket and back in my arms. I didn’t know if it was a good sign or not that he screamed from the moment the nurse took him from me until she brought him back, but he calmed down as soon as he was curled into my chest. She brought out a bassinet on wheels and made me put him inside to wheel him off to the room where Cay and Watson would be staying until they let the two of them go home.

They were bringing Cay back in about the same time. Everything turned out well with her as well, and the feeling was beginning to come back in her lower half. The orderly who wheeled her back into the room locked her bed into place and left the room, leaving me to scoop Watson into my arms and move to curl up on the edge of her bed as I moved our son into her arms-

Well done, Baby Love. I don’t think I’ve ever been more impressed by another human being in my entire life. You managed to make a baby and still look absolutely gorgeous in the process.

-I leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead, pulling them both a little closer, though I was careful not to move her uncomfortably. I had no idea how much the stitches hurt or how much feeling she was getting back in her lower half. I knew she had some time off her feet before she was going to be able to get back to normal life, but the worst of everything was over. Watson was here, and I could take a breath and relax a little now that the two people who meant the most to me in the world were safe and in my arms.-

#DontKnowJustWhyYouDo

[sinfulmyrick]

Waist Deep in Thoughts (SL with @DayDividesNight and @FiredUpAndTired)

Cay: ^I still wasn’t sure about this trip. But Daddy said we had to go. He was being summoned, and now was as good as time as any to introduce me to his family. I had to admit that I wasn’t excited. Not completely. The only person in his family I wanted to meet was his little sister Emily.

Daddy talked about her the most. She was the one he missed the most. He was content with the phone calls from his mom. But never talked about his dad or brother. And I understood it. They put too much pressure on him to be something he wasn’t. He was supposed to be a lawyer. He was supposed to be settling down. He was supposed to be on his way to having 2.5 kids, a golden retriever, and a white picket fence. He was halfway there on the last parts, though. He had me, Watson, and Leo.

We had had about a dozen conversations about coming up here. I was terrified, though. They were everything that I had never been. Prim and proper to the extreme with high expectations of their children. I didn’t think that I was going to fit in. Of course, if I was the good little catholic girl I had been raised to be, it would have been different. But I wasn’t.

I was covered in tattoos and had a mouth like a sailor. But it was something I never used around Daddy. He was too pure to deal with my mouth. It was something I let Sir see, though. We had discussed how I was supposed to address him. Daddy didn’t care. If I wanted to call him Daddy, that was fine. But it was  something I hesitated on. I didn’t want to give his family another reason to get on him. But I wasn’t comfortable calling him Myrick, either. It wasn’t something I had ever called him. It came out the first time he came to the shop, only because I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to call him Daddy.

But I still needed something to call him when his family was around. So I had settled on Noah. It wasn’t outside of the realm of possibility. It was his middle name, so it was something we could use. And I didn’t want to put him in the mindframe his family was going to put him in. Having him be Myrick was not something I wanted on a daily basis. And I never wanted him to get used to it coming from my mouth.

Part of me had wanted to go into the Baines house completely covered. I didn’t want them to see my tattoos and have a reason to judge me. But I knew how much Daddy loved them. It was something that would keep him centered. If things got to be too much, I could let him run his fingers along the colors. And even then, it was just going to be my legs that were visible. At least for tonight. I had brought a few other dresses that would leave my arms exposed. Today was a simple black and white plaid dress with a high low hem line. It wasn’t tight, but didn’t hide my belly that was growing more each day.

I let out a soft groan as Watson kicked against my stomach. It was still hard to believe, but he was more active now that Daddy and I could feel him moving. Squeezing Daddy’s hand, I shifted ever so slightly so I was facing him as he continued down the residential roads of Hartford.^ Even your son doesn’t want to do this, Daddy. We could turn around and go back home.

Myrick: -She had a point. I didn’t want to do this, not even a little bit. There wasn’t anything in the world that was going to make me want to go back home to Hartford for my dad’s birthday, even though my mother managed to guilt trip me into doing it most years. I wasn’t the son they’d wanted after all these years. I knew that every time I walked into that huge house. It never felt like home, even if I’d grown up there, and they never felt like family, even if genetically they were. My brother had always fit into that world. He’d been born into it. Maybe I had too, but I’d been raised by the staff more than my parents. They were too busy for me. My mother had one junior league meeting and luncheon or gala or fundraiser after another. My father was running a business. Neither one of them had time for three children.

It was Em that got the worst of it. She was their only daughter. That came with a whole other passel of expectations -- dance lessons, etiquette classes, debutante balls, ball gowns, the endless parade of eligible bachelors my mother was inviting over to dinner as prospective grooms. It was annoying just to watch. To be the subject of it must have been nightmarish. But she was better at pretending than I ever was going to be.

I’d given up on being what they wanted. I tried to do pre-law. I tried harder than anyone knew, and it almost broke me. Then, one day, I just gave up on that life. I switched my college major to art and just went with the thing that felt most natural to me. That was when everything had begun. I’d never fit in there. I wasn’t the perfect kid. My clothes were stained with paint or markers or dirt when I was supposed to keep clean. My curly hair was too unruly and defied any amount of styling that they tried to inflict upon it. Bradley was their perfect first kid. He was the one who went on to be lawyer and was walking in our dad’s footsteps. I wasn’t ever going to be like him, and I wasn’t even going to try.

In a way, it was freeing to let go of their expectations of me. I was free to be myself for the first time, and living in New York City had given me the space to do just that, but I still had ties to them. I’d pulled enough money out of my trust fund for my mother to notice. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t touch it unless I absolutely had to, that I was going to make my own way with my art for as long as I could. Part of it was a pride thing. I wanted to prove them all wrong when they said that art wasn’t going to pay the bills. I’d been successful thus far, but tapping into that money to buy a condo for Cay was more than worth the hassle that had come with it. It just meant that my mother had successfully guilt tripped me into coming home for Dad’s birthday this year. Her learning that she was going to be a grandmother just ensured that the guilt trip got doubled. She wanted to meet Cay. She wanted to know my fiance and she had a gift for Waston. She wanted to do a lot, but I was wary about how much involvement they wanted to have.

I honestly didn’t want him to grow up in that world I’d left behind. I didn’t think Cay would have either. I did feel a sense of obligation to make sure that he knew his grandparents, but that was a weak connection. It meant he would have to show up at Christmas or odd holidays just to keep them quiet about never getting to see their grandson, but every day? They weren’t the kind of family I wanted around every day. I didn’t want him getting the patented Baines guilt trip any more than necessary. I was already feeling protective of him and his mother, and he wasn’t even born yet. It was only going to get worse once he’d arrived. I let my fingers move over her stomach, enjoying the gentle rolling of his movements just under her skin.- Baby Love, we will only stay as long as we have to and then we’re out of here. Besides, I want you to meet Emily. She’s going to be here this weekend, too. I know she’s going to love you and the baby. I don’t really care about the rest of them. I’m just going to get through this weekend and then go back to pretending they don’t exist as often as I can manage.

Cay: ^As we pulled up to the house, I felt my nerves go through the roof. I still wasn’t sure about this. I didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into. I couldn’t plan or make contingencies. I had almost wished he had brought Nightingale instead of me. She would have been the perfect girlfriend to bring home to his parents. She was the girl they would love.

Turning to the man next to me, I let the panic be written on my face. I needed this moment to be afraid. I needed a minute where I could just need my Daddy. And part of me knew, deep down, that he needed this as much as I needed it.^ They’re going to hate me, Daddy. I’m not what they want for you. You should have brought NIghtingale. She would have been better.

^I was working myself up. I needed to figure out a way to calm down. I didn’t need to let this get the best of me. I had to focus on what I could control. But it felt like the answer was nothing. I knew the kind of people The Baines men were. They were pushy and judgemental. And the women just followed behind them. It was all about appearances with them. And I was terrified what they were going to say about me and Watson.^

Myrick: -we were here, but there was no way I was getting out of the car with her this upset. I personally didn’t care what they thought. I was used to being the one who disappointed all of them, but this was a first for her. I felt like it wasn’t fair of me to drag her into all of this. My family life was chaotic, but not in the way a lot of families were. It seemed calm and serene on the outside, full of well mannered people minding their Ps and Qs. On the inside, it was filled with more politics than a UN Security Council meeting. Cay deserved better than all of that. I turned and took her hands in mine, looking her square in the eye- Baby Love, I love you. I care about Songbird, but I’m in love with you. You’re having my son, and you’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t care what they think of you. I wouldn’t love you as much as I did if you were the type of person who was going to fit in here. I don’t fit in here. The only people who do are pretending and dying on the inside. I don’t want either of us to be that. If you want to go at any point just say the word and we’ll leave. If it’s too late to go back to the city we’ll get a hotel in Hartford so don’t let the hour stop you. Just say the word and we go.

Cay: ^I knew that he was right. Even if Watson hadn’t been in the picture, Daddy and I were perfect for each other. We just needed to be reminded of that some of the time. We both had a tendency to get so wrapped up in our heads, we forgot to see the world in color. And now we were in a place where we were only going to see black and white. His family was only going to let us see in black and white.

With the exception of Emily. Everything that Daddy had told me about her meant she was the wildcard. When he first told me that she fit in with the Baines group, I was nervous. But then he explained that she was the best actress of them all. She was just like him, in a way. She didn’t necessarily want the whole Baines name, but she did know how to use it. She was the only reason I was willing to give this a chance. She was the only one I was somewhat excited to meet.^

Am I allowed to hide with Emily if it gets to be too much? Like, if you have to leave me alone, can you please make sure Emily is there? I just don’t know how to handle your family. And I don’t want to be left defenseless. And if your family is how you describe them, they’re going to try to separate us for at least part of the visit.

Myrick: -Cay had a good point, and it was one I hadn’t  thought of. Emily was always a calm in the storm for me. She’d walk around the house all prim and proper, dressed any way that made mother happy, and shoot me winks from across the table that made me know she had something planned for after dinner. I’d seen her toilet paper the minister’s house in spotless white Easter gloves and a flowery dress and not get home spotless before the end of a dinner party. She was also the one who drug me off to a hiding spot in the attic she’d found when we were kids if the entire family got to be too much for me. If I’d been diagnosed with anything it would have wound up being anxiety. I knew myself well enough to know that sometimes the expectation of being one of them just got to be too much, too overwhelming. She was right. They were going to separate us, but if I knew anything, Mother would send all the men into the library and keep the girls doing something else, so Emily would always be around if I wasn’t. She’d take care of my girl as much as she’d taken care of me.-

I think that won’t be a problem. I won’t let them take me from you if she can’t stay. I’ll pull her aside as soon as we get there and make sure she knows not to leave you alone with any of them. She probably wouldn’t anyway, because she knows all of them well enough not to trust them.

Cay: ^Everything was starting to hit me. This wasn’t something that we were putting off anymore. We were here, and I had to be that girl. I had to be the girl that deserved their son. Granted, I wasn’t going to be the girl they were expecting. But I knew I was stressing myself out. And as I was stressing, I felt the final worry settle into place.

Age had never been a thing with me and Daddy. The only time it ever did come up was when we were either in the club or at dinner together. Daddy could drink, I couldn’t. Not that Daddy liked to drink. In the time we had known each other, I had never seen him take a drink. It didn’t matter. It just made things a little bit easier for the both of us.

But I wasn’t sure how his family was going to handle it. There were so many things that could be said. And, in reality, I knew how they were going to see me. I was 19 and had gotten pregnant. Now, Daddy was tapping into his trust fund so that he could buy me a condo. I was everything they didn’t want in their family. Shaking my head, I just stared out the front window.^ I’ve never been with you for your money. You know that, right?

Myrick: -I wasn’t sure where that last question had come from. It wasn’t something that had ever crossed my mind. I made a point of not using my trust fund to live off of. I had a reason for that. It was my way of proving to my parents that I could make it on my own. I wasn’t ever going to be their definition of successful but I could be my own. That was what mattered to me, and yeah, I’d bought Cay a condo. But it wasn’t something she’d asked for. I’d gone out and done that entirely on my own.

I was a lot older than her. I knew that she was going think that was an issue too even if she didn’t say it. She thought it was a problem that she was too young. Occasionally, I thought it was a problem that I was too old. It wasn’t going to stop me though, and in a few years it wouldn’t be an issue at all. Eight years wasn’t that uncommon, but she was still technically a teenager, even if she had a better head on her shoulders than most adults I knew-

Yeah, I know. Just remember that they don’t know you, and they’re never going to really know you. They don’t really know their own children. If they did, they’d know how fake Emily was around them, and how much they’ve made me hate being home. They’d know this isn’t really home, because home is in a Hell’s Kitchen condo with you. So try not to let what they think of you matter too much. They don’t really like anyone, not even themselves.

Cay: They’re going to think that. They’re going to find out that I’m not even 20, and they’re going to assume that I’m with you just so I can get your trust fund. And it’s not something I want, Daddy. I don’t need your money. I just need you. I need you to be there for me and Watson. Please don’t abandon us.

^I couldn’t stop the tears from sliding down my cheeks. Abandonment was going to be a huge fear. I wasn’t sure that was ever going to go away. Not after what had happened before. I wasn’t sure that fear was going to be one I could cope with. But I knew I had to be honest with Daddy. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen this weekend. I just needed to remind myself that this wasn’t who he was. He was different than them. He was the black sheep in his family.

Swiping at my cheeks, I tried to make everything stop. I needed everything to just stop for a second. What I really needed was my dog. But this was the last place he could come. Especially if Myrick wasn’t exaggerating about his parents. I didn’t want them to force him to be locked in the backyard. Even if it would have been heaven for Leo. But the best decision had been leaving him home with Nightingale.

Cassidy had decided she was going to run the shop this weekend since Lindsay was still a little too new to it. So it gave Leo the perfect person to be watched with. She had the time to devote to him. Since she was done work on the album, she had time to spend with him. And it would give her something to do while Sir was at the studio.

I let my voice come out in the small shyness I only tended to use when I was unsure of myself. If I couldn’t have Leo, I had to take the next best thing to calm me down.^ Daddy? Can you please just hold me for a few minutes before we have to go inside? I need a few more minutes of being Daddy and Baby Love before we have to be Noah and Cay.

Myrick: -That was an easy enough request. I didn’t care how long we sat out in the drive and just talked. My mother was likely staring out between the blinds at us and conjecturing about why we hadn’t come inside yet. But I didn’t care. My girl needed me, and she was the most important thing right now in my entire world. So she could have anything that she wanted right now. She didn’t have to come up here with me. I could have done it on my own, but I wanted her with me as selfish as that sounded to me.

I promised myself I was going to take the best care of her that I could manage this weekend and if that meant making everyone else in the house angry, then they’d eventually get over themselves. I pulled her into my arms and wrapped them around her, planting a kiss on her forehead- Baby Love, whatever you need is yours.

Cay: I need you to tell me that this is going to work out. One way or another. Promise me that you won’t let them change you. ^It was a fear I had. I wasn’t thrilled with the fact that I had it, but it was there. It was something I didn’t want to think about. But I needed to hear it from him. I needed Daddy to tell me that I was his. No matter what happened this weekend, I was still going to be his Baby Love.

It didn’t matter that we were putting on a show for them. We were letting them see what they wanted to see. And not who we were. If I had my way, they were never going to see Daddy and Baby Love. It wasn’t something I wanted them to tarnish. Daddy and Baby Love were for New York. They were when we were at home.

Looking up to Daddy with a raised brow, I let out a soft giggle.^ Can we mandate that they have to call me Caoilainn?

Myrick: -I grinned down at my girl and stole another kiss letting out a soft laugh- You’re whoever you want to be to them, but you’re my Baby Love. As far as I’m concerned we’re just pretending here. At home is something very different, and this isn’t going to change any of that. I love you no matter what.

-I wasn’t just saying that because it was what I figured my girl needed to hear right now.  She did need to hear it, but I needed to say it too. I wanted her to know I wasn’t anything like these people, and I was a little terrified that she would think I was even a little bit like them-

And whatever happens, please know I’m not like them. Neither is Em. They’re our family by blood and genetic lottery. That is all. We spent more time with the nannies they hired to take care of us than we ever spent with them.

Cay: ^I could only let out a laugh. As scared as I was that Daddy was going to run away after all of this, I knew the truth. Him and Em were only a Baines in name. Was I scared of what was about to happen? Absolutely. But I knew that this was more about my fear of his family than anything else.

I needed to relax and remember who I was standing with. This was the man I had agreed to marry. The man that was the father to my child. He was going to do everything in his power to protect me. Even if it meant taking me out of here. I had to remember that. My voice was soft as I shifted my eyes around the front windows. More than once I had seen the curtains open and close. We were being watched.^

Someone keeps looking out here. I guess that means this is it? I have to flip off the Baby Love switch for the weekend. I can’t be your little. I have to just be your fiance?

^I had to admit that I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of not being his little. But that was something I had decided on. I needed to be his girl, yes. But I still wasn’t entirely sure I was ready to throw our sexlife into the middle of the world like that. That was still something I wanted to keep for us when we were home in New York.^

Myrick: -I knew we were being watched. That much was obvious. I didn’t see enough and I wasn’t going to explain myself any more than necessary. There were a lot of things about my life that was none of their business. There were times in the past I just avoided them. I didn’t like the confrontation, but for Cay, I’d confront every last one of them for upsetting her, especially now that she was pregnant.

But our life together was just for the two of us back in New York. I didn’t want to taint any of that with this or them.-Yeah. I think it’s time, as much as I don’t want it to be. I get the feeling that if we don’t go now we’re not ever going to so just remember I love you? Ok?

-I leaned in and stole another kiss, this one from her lips. I didn’t want to go in, but we were going to have to sooner or later.-

Cay: ^I let out a loud groan. This was the last moment where I could act like a petulant child. At least until we were alone. Any other time, I had to play the role of loving girlfriend. You couldn’t claim that I wasn’t a loving girlfriend. This just wasn’t the roles we normally played in our relationship. And part of me was worried about how this weekend was going to affect those roles.

It also helped that I had something planned for when Daddy and I got back to New York. It was something I think we were going to need after the weekend. And it was something that reminded me of the last time he had completely let loose. It made me smile to know I had Nightingale working on that little project with the help of Sir.

But I sat in the car as Daddy climbed out. I knew the truth about this trip. Not only did he have to play the perfect son, he also needed to be the perfect gentleman. I wasn’t going to be opening doors or sitting on my own. Everything had to be done with the help of Daddy. Any deviation was going to result in a red bottom. And that was a promise from both Daddy and Sir.

As soon as Daddy was around my side, I couldn’t stop from sliding out of the car and pressing my lips against his. I wasn’t sure how his family was going to feel about open affection. It was something I craved from my Daddy on a regular basis. I needed it like I needed air to breathe. And there was nothing I wanted more right now than to just feel his lips on mine.^

Emily: *I knew my brother was here. I’d recognized his car when it pulled up the drive, and there was nothing about this weekend I was excited about except the chance to see him and meet his fiancée. She was all he’d talked about when I got a chance to phone him. I hadn’t been able to do that enough since this semester started. Everything was piling up on me until I felt like I was drowning, but I had only a month left to go. Four more weeks. I could do that. I’d gotten so far already.

I couldn’t help but peek out the window at the two of them. I know he’d think it was Mother, but I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t make our much, other than the fact that she had gorgeous red hair and was wearing plaid, but I had to admit I was a little jealous he’d found his person. I’d never begrudge my brother any happiness, though. He was the best of all of us, which was why my parents gave him their worst, but he came through it all in the most gentle way possible. If it were possible, all their trying to turn him into one of them made him even more patient and caring and gentle than he had been before. He deserved a whole hell of a lot better than the Baines.

I was just waiting for the two of them to get out of the car before I went rushing out the front door. I didn’t want to interrupt anything between the two of them. The minute they were out the car, I was on my feet and out into the front yard to throw my arms around him*

Teddy! *I’d given him that nickname when we were children, and he’d let me curl up in his bed when the summer thunderstorms scared me. Everyone else in the house would just call me a baby and chase me off to my own room, but he took care of me even when he was just a kid himself.

Turning to grin at the young woman with him before I pounced on her with a hug* You must be Cay, and before you even open your mouth, you’re gorgeous, and I’m kind of jealous of my brother here.

*I’d babbled before I’d though, even though it was just Myrick and Cay. I had to get my head on straight before I had to go back in and deal with Mother, but I’d been away at school too long and didn’t have my game face on.*

Myrick: -It was a relief that the first person out of the house was Em, and when she threw her arms around me in a hug, it was the best greeting that I could have expected here. The fact that she pulled Cay into a hug without hesitation meant a lot as well. At least the first of my relatives she would get to speak to would be the one who was actually going to care about the both of us-

Hi there, Emmy. I told her you were going to love her as soon as you saw her. She’s been terrified since we left home. It’s the rest of them that are questionable. How are they?

-That question might have seemed innocuous to anyone who was listening, but it was code between the two of us. It was our way of using the other to take the temperature of the family before we walked into the thick of things-

Emily: *I loved Cay’s hair, and I wasn’t going to be able to stop myself from twirling one of the long locks around my finger as I stood next to her.  I was going to like her very much. It helped worlds that she made my brother happier than I’d ever seen him, and she was cute as a button. I knew that before she ever opened her mouth.* Oh, Mother’s on the warpath about throwing me a graduation party. I’m trying to avoid it if at all possible because it just means she’s going to try to foist off every eligible bachelor on Hartford on me now that I’m done with my education and can get a serious man and a diamond ring and a border collie and a house with a mortgage and all of that nonsense. I’m far too concerned with not doing any of that to let her try.

*I wasn’t about to admit the reasons why I wasn’t down for all of that yet. I was hoping that she’d at least let me live out my life like some old spinster aunt since Bradley was married with kids and Myrick was engaged with one on the way, but no such luck.*

Cay: ^Emily was a lot to take in. But I couldn’t help the small giggle that slipped out as she started to play with my hair. I couldn’t stop the words before they were out of my mouth.^ Daddy does that when we’re laying in bed at night. I’m very used to having someone’s hands in my hair. And if it’s not Daddy, it’s Cassidy or Lindsay. Sometimes even Mr. Francis.

^I could see the raised brow that Daddy was giving me. A lot had just come tumbling from my lips, and I wasn’t entirely sure how much was too much. But maybe that was why Daddy thought I was going to get along so well with Emily. We were very much the same when a lot was going through our minds.

And right now, all I could think about was impressing the Baines family. Although I knew I had made an impression on Daddy’s little sister. The comment she had made about me made me think there was more to her story than she was letting on. But I wanted her to feel comfortable around me. I wanted her to know that I didn’t see her like I feared the rest of them. I wanted her to be on the same playing field as Daddy.^

Daddy tells me I’m gorgeous all the time. So does Nightingale and her Sir. I don’t necessarily see it, but I can appreciate it when it comes from a Baines. It makes me think you mean it more.

Emily: -She was pretty much as sweet as she’d seemed on the surface, but I could tell she had a sassy streak in her too. I liked it. I liked her. She was good for my brother, and she made him happy. That automatically made her better than anyone else who was going to be at this little family function. I slid an arm around her waist. I hoped the two of us would become good friends, but either way I was going to protect her from what she was about to walk into. I’d protect both of them as much as I could.- Well, we may as well walk into the lion's den. They’ll be waiting. I’m not leaving her side unless you’re there, Teddy. Mother will try to tear her to shreds if she gets her alone.

*I shook my head, not wanting to think about how she’d tear both of us to shreds if she knew the truth about everything. I was good at lying, too good. It made me feel like a bad person sometimes. But sometimes it was a necessary evil.*

Myrick: -of course my sister had intuited what I was going to ask her long before we ever walked into the building, even before I opened my mouth to say anything about it. She was blunt about what my mother would do with Cay, but it was the thing I was afraid of happening- Just take care of my girl, Em. I’ll try to stick around until Father pulls some men’s club in the study nonsense. But I don’t plan on going anywhere unless they make me.

-I leaned over, pressing a kiss to the top of Cay’s head and pulled our bag up on my shoulder before threading my fingers between hers. The walk to the house was too short. I preferred it outside. It was the last place we could all still be ourselves before we had to put on those masks that being part of the Baines family required. I could feel the change in the air when I made it through the front door. It might have been because Mother was standing in the foyer. Maybe not. Maybe it was just the entire atmosphere of the house.-

Hello, Mother. -I tightened my grip on Cay’s hand- Glad to see you’re doing well. -Most Mother’s would have hugged their children or something. Mine stood there like some kind of diplomat waiting to be properly introduced. “I’m glad you’re home, Myrick. And who might this be?”  Her always appraising gaze moved over to Cay who Emily just tugged in closer to her side.- Let me introduce my fiancée. This is Caoilainn Desmond.

Cay: ^I wasn’t sure how I felt about all of this. I didn’t like the description of a lion’s den. I also didn’t like the idea of being torn apart. And the only thing I could be thankful for was the fact that Emily had promised Daddy she would protect me. But as we walked in the house, I felt like I was suddenly starved of oxygen. And it felt at least ten degrees colder. I wasn’t sure why, but I didn’t like it.

I could only bow my head as Daddy introduced me to his mother. The formal title was not lost on me. Nor was is something I was unfamiliar with. It was the term we were required to use in the Desmond house. I felt myself become more sandwiched between the two youngest Baines children. Looking between the two of them, I turned my attention back to the woman that was standing in front of me.

She looked just like Emily. Maybe a little older. But I wasn’t sure if that was natural, or if there was money put into looking that way. If I had to guess, there was money invested in that look. And, in knowing Emily for three seconds, I knew that that was not a pleasant experience. Emily looked like she wanted to be anywhere but where we were.

But the woman was dressed in one of those dresses that women would wear in the 1950’s. She wanted her appearance to be welcoming, but I could see the calculations going on behind her eyes. She knew I was younger than Daddy. But it was a matter of how much younger I actually was. And I knew that she was worried. I knew I looked much younger than I actually was.^ Good evening, Mrs. Baines. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for welcoming me into your beautiful home.

Emily: *I could see Cay taking Mother in. She loved this whole June Cleaver look she had going on, but every time I looked at her I saw myself in thirty years. She looked good for her age, but we all knew there was a lot of money invested in her looks. She was father’s showpiece. She always had been, and she took that job seriously. In addition, she took her role as the family matriarch far too seriously. At least on the outside. On the inside, I wasn’t sure there was anyone who really knew what she was all about. There was something kind of sad about that. It was exactly what I didn’t want for my life, but I was headed right that way if I let it. Maybe not in the same way, but there was absolutely no one who knew everything about me. I didn’t want to end up that way.* She’s absolutely lovely, Mother. *I heard my voice slipping into that tone I saved for home that made me sound like I’d gone to all the etiquette classes that I actually had been to, but I kept her close to my side, hoping to reassure Cay that all of this was just a facade.*

Myrick: -Emily was always just more subdued whenever she walked into any room where one of our parents were. It was like she hit a light switch and then turned off the happy parts of her brain. I didn’t like it, and I wasn’t capable of it. But she used it as a coping mechanism. Mother bought into it hook line and sinker.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well, Miss Desmond. And yes she is quite a lovely young woman.”

I could hear the emphasis she put on young. Cay was nineteen but she could have passed for either younger or older depending on her mood and how she dressed. I didn’t care what other people thought of her or the age difference we had going on at the moment. There were a lot bigger ones at play in the world we’d come from. She was just going to be concerned that Cay was even younger than she actually was and that she’d have some kind of scandal on her hands, which would be the only concern she’d have about all of this. I could have pretty easily blurted out how old Cay was, but if my patience was already wearing thin, it didn’t bode well for the rest of the weekend. Besides, I didn’t want to put her on the spot like that. It wasn’t fair to her, and Mother was going to do a good enough job of that on her own.

“I’m sure you’re both tired from your drive. Let me have the maid show you to your rooms.”

She gestured to one of the household staff that had been standing nearby, waiting to take us upstairs. I caught the word rooms, and I was certain she had plotted out having us in separate rooms during our time here. I wasn’t having that happen. I lived with Cay. We shared a bed there. We were getting married and having a son together. We weren’t sleeping in separate rooms just so my mother could keep up appearances.-

Well, I’m sure she’ll be more comfortable in my room as long as you haven’t replaced the bed in there with a bunk bed, Mother. There’s plenty of room for the two of us in there. We’ve slept in smaller spaces together.

-I knew that last statement was going to scandalize her more than a little. Maybe I was enjoying pushing her buttons a little, even if I didn’t really like confrontation.-

Cay: ^I didn’t want to cause more problems than I already was. And that was evident by the tension in the room. And it just seemed to get worse when Mrs Baines commented on my age. And then Daddy had to strike back against her with us sleeping in the same room.

I had to admit, I didn’t want to be in a different room. I mean, what was the worst that could happen? I could get pregnant? The rounding of my stomach told me that that was not an option right now since I was already pregnant. But I didn’t want to antagonize her. Gently tugging on Daddy’s sleeve, I shot him a look with a raised brow.^

What Noah means to say is that we wouldn’t want to inconvenience you with having to get a second room for me ready. Especially since I have nightmares when I’m sleeping in unfamiliar places.

^The nightmare bit wasn’t exactly the truth. I hadn’t had a nightmare since Daddy and I had moved into the condo. But I wasn’t going to risk it. I knew that Watson wasn’t going to be settled if he wasn’t close to his Daddy. But there was no way I was going to tell that to Mrs. Baines.^

Myrick: -Cay had a far more diplomatic way of putting things than I did.  Maybe it was because I had little patience left for the way things were around the Baines household. I'd promised myself things would be different around my life back in New York than they were here. We were just here for a weekend. I kept telling myself that. And that Cay was here for me, but I wasn't going to sit by and let them pick at her even in the backhanded way that my family had.

Mother breathed in deeply and exhaled in a long breath that was half sigh.

“If you both insist, then of course you should sleep in Myrick’s room. Dinner is soon so I'm sure you'll both want to head upstairs and change clothes before your father, brother, and his family arrive. That includes you, Emily. I laid out a dress for you across your bed, something I picked out while I was in Boston. It's just your color.”

Turning her attention to Emily meant it was off of us for the moment, but it was just more of the same attempt to turn her into whatever it was that she wanted her daughter to be. In this case, it was to be dressed and look just like her mother. Em just nodded and made way for the stairs before causing and giving us both a smile-

Emily: *Of course Mother has picked out a dress for me tonight. The chances were pretty good that one of Bradley’s work friends would wind up popping in for dinner or drinks afterwards and she’d try to usher us off into some private corner to get to know one another. Besides Mother had atrocious taste in clothes as far as I was concerned, but my dinner attire wasn’t worth the argument.

I moved to head up the stairs, but paused at the bottom and turned to Cay with a genuine smile*

I’m looking forward to getting to know you a lot better. I always wanted a sister.

*I didn’t stop for Mother to protest that Bradley had a wife. I had about as much in common with Courtney as I did Mother. She was a wet paper bag, and happy with being purely decorative instead of smart or funny.

My suspicions were confirmed when I got upstairs and found a robins egg blue dress that even had crinoline under the skirt laid out across the bed in my childhood room. All I could do was pick it up and plop down on the bed with a soft sigh.*

Myrick: -I shouldered our bag again and bid a goodbye for now to another before I showed her up the stairs, assuring the maid she’d sent after us that I remembered the way to my childhood bedroom perfectly well. It was just good to get her inside and close the door behind us, dropping the bag onto the bed before I pulled her into my arms and stole a kiss. I hadn’t kissed her for maybe twenty minutes at most, but that had been far too long for me.-

I hope you know I love you, Baby Love. I’m already sorry for this entire house with the exception of Emily.

-I intended to keep her wrapped up in my arms for as long as I could before we needed to get ready to go down to dinner-

Cay: ^This was what I needed. I needed to just be in his arms. I needed to know that this was okay. All of it was okay. It was a reminder that none of this was how we were. This life was not a life we wanted. And it wasn’t something that we wanted for Watson. He had slowed his moving since we pulled up at the house. To me, it felt like he understood how much we didn’t want to be here.

And I really didn’t want his family to have anything to do with Watson. I already knew that they were going to corrupt him and try to make him like them. And it was something that Daddy and I were going to have to fight against. My voice was soft as I curled as close as I could get to my Daddy. We both needed this. We both needed to feel each other.^

Can we not tell them about his name? They won’t understand. They’ll mock it. ^I felt my voice drift into the snobbish tone his mother had when she commented on my age.^ Watson is not a suitable name for a child, Myrick. Especially not a Baines child. He should have something more appropriate.

^I rolled my eyes as my hands fell to my stomach. I wanted to protect the little one as much as I could and if keeping his name hidden from the world was what we had to do, then I was going to keep it between the two of us.^ Well, Emily can know. I have a feeling she won’t care that we named him after my lesbian bosses.

Myrick: -I laughed a little at the suggestion that Em wouldn’t care what we named our son as I ran my hand around the curve of Cay’s belly before kneeling down to press a kiss to it right where Watson’s favorite kicking spot was. I didn’t think my sister would care what we named him, but naming him after a lesbian couple who owned a kink club and a sex shop were probably going to land us on her list of most awesome things ever. She had a literal list. I’d seen it before.- They don’t need to know his name. He’s our son. They don’t need to have anything to do with him. I’m not going to let them screw him up. You have my word on that, Baby Love.

-I grinned up at my girl and stayed in my place on the floor watching him kick-

Both of you deserve better than all of this.

Cay: ^I could only let out a sigh as I looked at my Daddy on his knees in front of me. Of course he wanted to give Watson a little bit of attention. And I was fine with that. But I also knew that we needed to start getting dressed if we wanted to make a good appearance. I was already ready for the exhausting thing that was the Baines Family Dinner to be over.

I was already tired of calling Daddy Noah, and I had only said it once. I knew it was going to be something I was going to have to adjust to saying and fast. Once we were surrounded by people, I refused to let Daddy come out of my mouth. They didn’t have a say in our private lives. But I also wanted our life in New York to stay there. They didn’t need to know that I liked to curl up in Daddy’s lap like a little girl.

I also had the feeling that open affection was a huge no no. But it was absolutely something I craved from Daddy. I needed him to be touching me in some way, and I was terrified that when we were with his family, it was going to be something that was taken away. But I needed to not focus on that. I knew the truth. Daddy was going to touch me regardless of who was around. Especially if his son was pestering me.

I took a breath before pulling out the dress I had brought for dinner. It was something Cass had had made for me. Her rules were specifically for this weekend. Tonight in particular. Something about a test of how much Mr and Mrs Baines would say in front of the two of us. I hadn’t wanted to argue with her. The dress was very much my style, but still appropriate for dinner with the Baines Family.

It was that traditional 1950’s style dress, but the sugar skulls that covered the fabric was what was going to drive them insane. But there was room for my ever growing belly under it, so I knew that I was going to be comfortable. It was only a matter of minutes before I was out of my plaid dress and slipping into my pinup dress. It was a form of rebellion I needed, though. Because it wasn’t just for me. It was also for Daddy and Emmy, too.

The shoes were a little bit harder than just switching them. I had a small belly. It wasn’t big enough to cause too many problems. But I wasn’t really a fan of putting on shoes. But being where we were, I couldn’t walk around barefoot. I knew that. I had to be a good girl and wear shoes. And I knew how Daddy was. I knew what he liked. So the only shoes I could imagine bringing for this dress were a pair of platform plaid Mary Janes. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I slid my feet into the heels and waited for Daddy to get dressed so he could buckle them.^

Myrick: -I grinned as she held out her shoes for me to buckle for her. Shoes were getting to be more and more of a problem the bigger she got. The least I was going to be able to do for her was buckle her shoes. While she was getting on the dress that Cassie had made for her, I pulled on a pair of trousers and a button down shirt, fastening a tie into place, then a vest over that. Traditionally, I should have worn a jacket to dinner. That was the finishing touch I’d always been taught to add, but I was skipping it for the night.

There was a line I was drawing consciously with my decision of what to wear down to dinner. I knew what was expected, but I was going to do this my way. I hoped the message was going to get passed through what I was wearing, but I also knew my parents well enough to know that I was going to have to draw a much more firm line than that with them. It was something I was going to be sure to make known if they tried to interfere with my life with Cay or anything to do with Watson.

I buckled her shoes into place before leaning down to press a kiss to Cay’s forehead.- You look gorgeous, Baby Love. That dress is perfect for you.

-I lingered for a long moment before I offered her my arm to pull her up from sitting on the edge of the bed- Are you ready to head down to diner?

Cay: ^It took a second to get my bearings once I was on my feet. But I felt myself curl into Daddy’s side as we walked out of the room. I stared at the door just across the hall before giving Daddy a raised brow in question. He simply nodded his head before I let out a soft squeak.

My hand gently rapped against the wood door as I waited for Emmy to open it. And when she did, I felt my nose wrinkle a little bit. The blue dress she was wearing didn’t match the personality of the woman that had run out to the car earlier in the day. I almost wanted to beg her to go into my suitcase and steal one of the other dresses I had in there. I knew they wouldn’t fit, but I didn’t like the woman they were trying to make my Emmy be. They wanted her to be like them, and she was anything but.

Clearing my throat, I let my hands fall to the ruffle skirt before I looked back up at the woman standing in front of me. She had a smile on her face as she looked at me and Daddy. Holding my arm out to her, I let a wide smile cross my face.^ Miss Emmy Baines, I would be honored if you’d let me escort you down the stairs to the dinning room for dinner if you’ll let me.

Emily: *I wasn’t sure what to expect when I heard the knock on my door, but it hadn’t exactly been what had greeted me. Cay was dressed in the exact style dress my mother would have loved with a couple of exceptions. The print of the fabric was covered in swirls that melted into sugar skulls that stood out against the stark black background, and it was cut to perfectly show off all her tattoos. I thought they were beautiful, but I knew Mother’s thoughts on them quite well. I’d heard her rail on for hours of my life about how unsightly they were, and how unbecoming of a young woman to have them. To me they were art, plain and simple, and art that you could carry with you no matter where you went at that. I was proud of Teddy for letting go of all the the bullshit we’d been raised with and having the courage to just be who he was. That was a lot more than I could pull off at the moment.

I looked down at the ice blue dress I was wearing. I loved the color blue, but this shade wasn’t for me, and the way this was cut would have looked a lot better on anyone else. It didn’t even have pockets, and I hated dresses, unless they had pockets. Those were the only ones I could stomach on an average day, but I’d swallowed it down to slide this over my head back in my bedroom. It wasn’t a fight I wanted to have with Mother today.

On the other hand, I was absolutely delighted that Cay had walked over to my room and offered to escort me down the stairs. I couldn’t stifle the laugh that bubbled up unbidden when she asked, and I hoped she didn’t think I was laughing at her. I was just pleasantly surprised at the offer. I stepped into the hall, closing the door behind me and linked my arm through hers.*

I’d be honored, Miss Cay Desmond. *I grinned over at Myrick from where he stood behind the two of us in the hall. I hope you know your girl has a lot of spunk, and I kind of love her for it. Now, let’s get this show on the road before I change my mind and get on the next train back to New Haven.

*Maybe if I knew what was good for me, I wouldn’t have left New Haven, but my time was coming to a close there too. There was only so much pretending I could do before real life came and slapped me in the face. I just didn’t know how much longer I had left.*

Myrick: -Em looked miserable in that dress, but she was doing her best to put on a good face. By the time we started to go down the stairs together, I would have been mostly convinced she didn’t feel like a doll Mother had been playing dress up with if I didn’t know her better. The thing was, I was pretty sure that most of the people that were going to be waiting on us down in the dining room had no idea who she really was. She was good at hiding it from everyone, including herself from time to time. Cay, however, looked like she and that dress were made to go together, but she had her nerves written clearly across her expression.

The dining room was at the bottom of the stairs, and Mother and Father were both waiting there with Bradley and his wife. The kids were probably with their nanny back at Bradley’s home on the other side of town. He was shaping up to be another Mr. Baines, following in Father’s footsteps perfectly. He had the house, the wife, the job, the kids, and even the perfect dog. I hoped he was happy. That was really all I could say. I would have been miserable trying to be that person for this long. It hit me all of a sudden how lucky I was that Cay had wandered into the kitchen looking for tea and calling me Daddy out of the blue all those months ago. I wasn’t certain where I’d be without her, but I knew I wouldn’t have been half as happy with my life as I was right now. I had a fiancée, a baby on the way, a condo in Hell’s Kitchen, a job I loved, friends who loved me, and my own little world that had nothing to do with the people assembling in the foyer next to the dining room. I didn’t need to impress them, and the fact that Mother’s eyes were bulging out of her head at the sight of all of Cay’s tattoos was a source of amusement instead of fear or pain. She could gawk all she wanted, but in the end it didn’t really matter what she thought. I had my source of happiness outside of all of them.

And then I thought of Em. As far as I knew, she was alone in New Haven. She had been for quite some time. She’d never dated anyone seriously that I could remember. She’d been out a time or two with people Mother tried to set her up with, but those never worked out. Everything as far as romance went just sort of died on the vine with her, but maybe that was the way she liked it. She didn’t necessarily need someone to be happy, but it struck me that she was amazingly alone in this world. I knew who she was on the inside. She and I were close. We were friends, but she never talked about anyone else. She didn’t have friends at Yale. She didn’t even have a pet. She lived alone. She had to be lonely. I made a mental note to invite her to come see us in New York when she got done with this final semester, after all the pressure with school was off. Maybe she’d come look for a job somewhere closer to there when all was said and done. It would do her some good to get away from everything here that they tried to put on her, and it would do her a world of good to meet some people she could be more herself around.

My thoughts were interrupted by Bradley clearing his throat to stifle a laugh

“Evening, Myrick, Emily, and you must be Miss Desmond.” I wanted to knock the smug grin off his face, but I just shot him a look and made sure the two women in front of me got down the stairs in their heels without going head over heels.-

Evening, Bradley, and it’s always lovely to see you Courtney. -I shot her a warm smile, and she gave me a quick greeting. She didn’t speak much. I could see why Bradley had married her. She was happy to let him do all the talking if she could manage it, and he spoke enough for the two of them. Mostly I was distracted by the smarmy look on Bradley’s face, and hoped reminding him his wife was standing right next to him would get him to take his eyes off my fiance. I knew people looked at her. She was beautiful. I couldn’t blame them for that, but the expression he wore was something else entirely. I wasn’t normally confrontational, but at the moment, he had my blood boiling.

My father held out his hand. It was the first time I’d been home in well over a year, and the warmest greeting he could muster was a handshake.

“Always good to see you, Son.” I knew that was a lie, but it was one of the pleasantries we exchanged out of obligation. -

Happy Birthday, Sir. -I took his handshake and willingly overlooked the fact that both he and Mother were eying my lack of dinner jacket with a raised eyebrow-

Cay: ^I wanted to shrink back as Bradley eyed me up. It felt like he was sizing me up for an affair. It wasn’t going to happen. The Baines family may have thought I was trash, but Daddy was the exception. I let my hand gently rub at my stomach while greetings were being made. I could feel the way Emmy’s eyes were rolling even if they hadn’t moved. She knew what they were doing. As did I. And I wanted to bring attention to the fact that I was very pregnant and very much in love with Daddy.

But I felt myself choke on air as Daddy said the word Sir. All attention was on me as I brought my hand up to my mouth, the emerald heart in my claddagh shimmering for everyone to see. Daddy raised a brow, silently asking if I was okay.^ You know what caused it, Noah. Let’s just move on, okay?

^I didn’t address Bradley as his eyes wandered back to my stomach. I could only roll my eyes again before Mrs Baines addressed the topic of my ring. “Myrick? Why couldn’t you have gotten her a diamond? You know you should always use a diamond for an engagement ring.” I felt my eyes start to water as I took a breath. I knew this was going to be a source of contention with her. And those that weren’t Irish didn’t understand what this ring meant.^

To be fair, Mrs Baines, I’ve never been too fond of diamonds. And Noah knows what this type of ring means to me. It was important to me to have this ring, even if it wasn’t something Noah knew at the time.

Myrick: -Of course Mother was chastising me about the ring, even as she showed us into the dining room where one of the household help was just finishing up with setting the table. The same young woman would be back as soon as we were seated with the first course. Most of them acted as if she were invisible, but I noticed Em nod and whisper a soft thank you where Mother couldn’t hear when she passed the girl who was about the same age as her on the way to her seat. We all had assigned seats with our name on tiny placards set behind the plates.

And Mother had placed Cay and I directly across the table from each other instead of side by side. I groaned internally, wishing I could just snatch up Courtney’s name card and replace it with mine, but at least, Emmy was to her right. I could trust my sister to take care of her if I wasn’t going to be right at her side, at least.

I shot her an apologetic glance as I made my way over to pull her chair out for her to settle into before I made my way around to my own seat opposite her.-

Emily: *I noticed what Mother had done right away. She’d sandwiched Cay between two Baines and left poor Teddy on the other side beside Bradley. There was an empty chair on his left, though, and it was set with a plate. I looked over at her with a raised eyebrow as I reached under the table and surreptitiously linked my pinky finger with Cay’s under the table. If Myrick couldn’t be here next to her, I was at least going to do my best to make sure she was comfortable as possible despite all the scrutiny we were about to find ourselves under.*

So, Mother are we expecting someone else? *I glanced over at the empty chair. The place card was turned around so that I couldn’t see the name on it, but the sight of it made my heart sink into my stomach. I knew the answer to this question before she even opened her mouth. Someone was coming, and that someone was going to be my responsibility to entertain. I should have known something was up the minute she told me she’d bought me a new dress that was sitting up on my bed.

“One of the new junior associates at your father’s firm said he might stop by and join us for dinner. He’s just graduated from Harvard, top of his class. I thought the two of you would get on splendidly.”

She had that fake cheerful tone to her voice that always reminded me of the sugar they used to spike children’s medicine with to mask the bitter flavor. I fought off the urge to just scream right out loud and leave the table-

Oh.

*It was the only sentence I could really manage at the moment without saying more than I ever intended so say. I didn’t know how many failed set ups it was going to take before she left me alone, but it looked like it was going to be at least one more.*

Cay: ^I could only raise a brow before turning my head towards Emmy. I gave her a knowing smile before I asked the question that was on her mind. I made sure my voice was soft so that she was the only one that heard what I was about to say.^ Yeah, but at what cost did this setup happen? A few blowjobs from your brother behind closed doors?

^The resulting snort was all I needed to hear before Mrs Baines was asking what I said said to Emily. Clearing my throat, I gave Daddy an apologetic smile before turning back to Mrs Baines.^ I was simply asking Emily if she, as a Eli, was allowed to date a Cantabridgian. I always thought that was something that was frowned upon when you went to Yale.

^I let my pinky curl around Emily’s before I brought her hand to my knee. I knew as soon as she started tracing the butterfly that she was grateful. I was as much of a buffer for her as she was for me.^ Forgive me. I’m not accustomed to the whole Harvard versus Yale Topic. I just wanted clarification before she did something her classmates would harass her for.

Emily: *I kind of hoped Teddy wasn’t going to kill me for tracing the outlines of his girl’s tattoos, but it was just kind of nice knowing that at least someone here was on my side. I hadn’t been able to stop myself when she’d made that joke about Bradley. Half of me kind of hoped it was true, but Bradley would have to pull the stick out of his ass before any real sexual favors could have taken place. I wasn’t going to say that out loud in the same room as Mother and Father, though.

The irony of what Cay was using as an excuse wasn’t lost on me. I probably would have gotten shit from my classmates for dating someone from Harvard. The rivalry between the schools was real enough on some level, but it wouldn’t have been anything serious. I wasn’t close enough friends with any of them anyway for it to really matter. The last person I had been close to had been the last girl I was dating. She’d broken up with me because I was still hiding from everyone, too scared to even go on a real date with a girl because I wasn’t sure what kind of stories were going to get back to my family. It was just that I was going to get a lot less shit from my classmates about dating someone from Harvard than I ever would have gotten from my family for dating another woman. It was just that one of those things was infinitely preferable to me than the other.

Mother was stammering on in the background of my thoughts about how she’d never in her life heard of that, and trying to confirm with my father who assured her that there was a history of friction between the schools and that maybe she ought to wait until graduation to try to turn me into a traitor to my school. My thoughts were swimming and I could feel this buzz in my head that I got before I always did something impetuous. My hands were shaking a little, even though Cay was keeping her little finger linked around mine and my index finger kept up it’s pattern on her leg. My own leg was jumping under the table, and something in me snapped when I heard Mother’s voice again.

“Well, I just thought that I’d see that she had some company. She’s not getting any younger, Charles. And I haven’t seen her on a real date since the senior prom in high school.”

I took a deep breath and pushed myself up from my seat, dropping Cay’s hand as I did so, but only so that I didn’t jerk her arm when I wheeled around on my mother.*

Well maybe that’s because I’m a lesbian, Charlotte? Did you ever think of that? I guess not. You’re too busy already planning my wedding to whichever of Father’s business cronies you can pawn me off on first.

*My father opened his mouth as if to say something, but could only manage to gasp for air like a fish left out on the shore. Mother went straight to clutching her pearls, like I knew she would for the moment before she had a meltdown.

“If you think for one moment you can speak to your father and I like that in our own home you have another thing coming, Emily Sierra Baines. And as for the rest of this foolishness, I’m not entirely certain what kind of game you think you’re playing at, but this isn’t funny.”

That was all I needed. She was trying to give me a chance to say it was all a joke and take it back. Things could end right then and there, and we could all go back to pretending we were the picture perfect family that she’d been cultivating since she was my age. But that wasn’t going to happen. I was done with the charade. If Myrick was going to be able to sit over there and be happy with his life and his choices then so was I. Bradley could go jump off the roof of the law firm for all I gave a damn right now, and he could take his mistress and his wife with him.*

It’s not a joke or a game. It’s the honest to god truth, and I should have said it a long damned time ago. I should have screamed it from the rooftops when I figured out I had a crush on Jenny Maguire who sat next to me in Art my freshman year of high school. Instead, I’ve just been praying you’d let me hide in peace, but there’s nothing like peace in this house. Just a bunch of miserable human beings trying to make everyone else around them just as miserable as they are. I’m done with it. I hope Teddy is done with it too, because I’ll be damned if either of these two deserve you. They deserve a whole world better, and I’m glad he got out of this place. It was the best damned decision he ever made.

*I was in a real mood all of a sudden. I couldn’t remember feeling this rebellious ever in my life, but it felt good. I half expected Mother to have a fainting spell and fall into the soup tureen that the maid was bringing out of the kitchen just about the same time I decided to make my little announcement. Instead, she glared at me, knitting her too thin fingers together and pursing her lips so hard I could see the wrinkles she tried to hide around them.

“Get out of my house, and don’t ever come back.”

Ten little words, and it was done. All it took was one toe out of line, one kink in the entire Baines family tree and they cut off the branch before it could infect the rest. Right… I should have figured that. I just nodded and laid my napkin across the plate in front of me, looking around the table to all of the rest of the assembled company who were too stunned silent to speak.*

Well Cay, it’s been lovely to meet you. I’m sorry it couldn’t have ended under better circumstances, but if you’ll all excuse me…

Cay: ^I knew my next move was going to get both me and Daddy in a world of shit. But I couldn’t let them hurt her this way. She was Daddy’s Baby sister. She was the only person that meant as much to him as I did. And if doing what I was about to do earned Daddy the same treatment, I was okay with that. I just wanted Emmy to know that she didn’t have to go through this alone. And it wasn't the end of the weekend.

I didn’t hesitate as I bolted up from my chair. It took two strides after I was out of my chair to catch her, my hand hand wrapped around Emmy’s wrist to keep her from taking another step. I didn’t think as I let my hands slip behind her neck before I brought her lips down to mine.

I could feel how startled Emmy was as I started moving my lips against hers. And it took no time for her to react. Her arms wrapped around my waist as she pulled me just a little bit closer. Pulling away from her, I turned to Daddy with a grin.^ Daddy? Can you gather our stuff while I help Emmy pack. I’m pretty sure she could use a weekend in New York with us and Lia and Cassi. What do you say?

Myrick: -I wasn’t surprised by Cay’s next move, at least not nearly as surprised as I had been by Emily’s announcement. I couldn’t believe that she’d snapped and just let all of that out at dinner, but I was proud of her for standing up to them. It was something that both of us should have done a long time ago. I just shook my head and laughed at the commotion that started as soon as Cay pulled Emily in for a kiss, though I couldn’t resist the opportunity to ‘accidentally’ kick Bradley hard in the shin as I moved to stand. He was gawking at my fiancee a little to hard for my tastes.-

Put your tongue back in your mouth Bradley, or I’m going to have to tell your wife about the crap you got up to at your bachelor party. You do have a clause in the prenup about infidelity right?

-I rolled my eyes and left the room in the state of disorder that Emily and Cay had put it into along with a little help from me and met the two young women at the exit to the foyer.-

Don’t even worry about changing clothes.

-I paused for a moment, remembering how uncomfortable my sister had looked in that dress.-

Never mind, go ahead and change clothes. Maybe toss that thing in the fireplace on the way out, but I’m getting the two of you out of here and back to the city before Mother’s head goes into a full on nuclear meltdown. I don’t want to be in the county when she finally explodes.

-I let the two of them go up ahead of me, cutting to the left when we reached the top of the stairs while the two of them went right into my sister’s bedroom. I was going to make quick work of the packing because I didn’t want to be in this house a minute longer than I needed to. Something told me they both felt the same way.-

Emily: *I’d been in an absolute daze when Cay stood up and grabbed my wrist. I had no idea what was coming next, but when she pulled me in to plant a kiss against my lips, I just went with it. I hoped that hadn’t hurt Myrick’s feelings, but he looked alright enough when he’d ushered the two of us up the stairs. I didn’t even pause for a breath before I ripped the dress Mother had left me off and grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt out of the suitcase I’d left open on my bed. I hadn’t even bothered to unpack when I’d gotten here, so that was at least a mercy. I just had to get on my clothes and toss a couple of things I wasn’t going to leave behind in my room into my bag. The rest could stay. This room didn’t hold too many happy memories for me anyway. I wasn’t going to miss it.

I glanced at Cay as I pulled on the shirt over my head and tossed my shoes into the open bag on the bed*

Just please tell me that Teddy isn’t going to be mad that you kissed me. I don’t know if I could take it if he was mad at me too…

*It kind of hit me that Myrick was all the family I had left in the world, and the last thing I ever wanted to do was upset him.*

Cay: ^I could only let out a giggle as Emmy worried about how Daddy would react to all of this. And I knew the truth. It didn’t matter to him. For all of the insecurities, he knew that I was his and he was mine. Even if the full scope of my sexuality hadn’t yet come up between the two of us, there wasn’t anything I would do to risk my relationship with him. Clearing my throat, I put my hands behind my back and gave Emmy a small smile.^

I mean, Daddy’s seen me suck another man’s cock while he had sex with another woman not even four feet away. And that was after he had asked me to marry him.

^I shrugged my shoulders as I looked at the woman in front of me. She was terrified. It wasn’t because she had nowhere to go, it was because she didn’t know what Daddy’s reaction was going to be about what had happened.^

He’s proud of you for standing up for yourself. He may be surprised at what I did, but it’s not something he’d get mad over. Not when him and I have a relationship with another couple back in New York. If Sir and Nightingale aren’t busy, you can meet them. Along with my bosses, Mellie and Cassidy. They’re my family. And I have a feeling Mellie and Cassidy are going to love you.

^Taking Emmy’s free hand, I pulled her into the hall where Daddy was waiting. Stealing a kiss from his lips, I gave him a smile.^ Tell Emmy you’ve seen me do worse things to Sir. She’s freaking out about me kissing her.

Myrick: -I’d been pulling our bag out into the hall only to be met with my Baby Love and my barefoot little sister out in the hallway looking sheepish. I had no idea what Cay had told her just now, but it didn’t really matter. I trusted Em as much as I trusted Cay. There wasn’t anything I couldn’t tell her. I just hadn’t brought up all the details because I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. It clearly wasn’t going to be a problem though if the biggest thing that she was worried about after all of this was me being upset with her.-

I’ve seen a heck of a lot worse than that, Em. I promise. You’re fine.

-I leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Cay’s head, pulling her into my side and grinned over at my sister.-

Now get some shoes on and come on. We’re going to blow this popsicle stand once and for all.

Emily: *I didn’t have to be told twice. I practically ran into my room, grabbed the Cons I’d kicked off before dinner and pulled them on before zipping up my bag and joining the two of them in the hall. I hadn’t planned to head into New York for the weekend, but I didn’t have anything as far as classes were concerned until Monday afternoon, so I had the luxury of being able to take the morning train back into New Haven. Besides, It seemed like I had a lot of my brother’s life to catch up on. He’d built a whole world there that didn’t involve any of the Baines or their bullshit. I had to admit I was curious to find out more about them all.

Of course it was Myrick who’d kicked all the stereotypes and wound up doing something alternative. It made sense. Maybe not if you didn’t know him. If you’d just met him, he was quiet and kind of reserved. He seemed like he’d come from money, but not in a bad way.  But when you really knew him,  you kind of understood that he didn’t like to fit in anyone’s mold, even if he wasn’t vocal about it. I liked that about him. I had the same streak in myself, even if I was better at hiding it, well I had been better until tonight.

I hadn’t known what came over me, but now that it was done, it was like a breath of fresh air to bounce down the front stairs behind those two and hold up both middle fingers pointed at the dining room before I walked out the front door into the cool evening air. It smelled like freedom for the first time in years.*

#WaistDeepInThoughts

[sinfulmyrick]

Chasing Rainbows On My Own (SL with @DayDividesNight @BluesAndSorrow @APerfectSong_)

Cay: ^It had been weeks since the theme night at the club. I still didn’t like going there, but it wasn’t as bad as it had once been. It had brought me Lindsay. Mr. Francis had come up with an idea a few days after that night. He didn’t want Lindsay to be stuck in the house all day. Not when he had to be at the recording studio. He wanted her to get out and make friends. But he always wanted her to be safe. It was a natural idea to ask if she could come stay with me and Daddy.

Daddy was all for it. It was another person in the shop to keep an eye on me. Especially now that he was doing a lot more work for Cherish and her book. He was in Manhattan more often than not these days, and I knew he worried about me being alone. Mellie and Cass were neck high in wedding plans, so he didn’t want to ask them to keep an eye on me and Watson. So having Lindsay come in was the logical option.

But I had put my foot down. She could absolutely come into the shop and help out, but it had to be after she was done with the album. I wanted her to focus on what was happening around her. I wanted her to get the record done without distraction from us. I knew the shop could be a lot to handle. Mr. Francis agreed. I wasn’t sure if it was as her Dom or her producer, but he was completely on board with the plan.

But I hadn’t heard anything from them for the past few days. I wasn’t sure when or if Lindsay was going to be coming, but I did need her soon. I had gone from not being pregnant to being very pregnant almost overnight. And the closer we got to Watson being born, the more Daddy worried. That was fine. I just knew he was going to go insane with worry until I had Lindsay in the shop with me.

But as the door chimed with a new customer, I brought my attention back to where it needed to be. But it wasn’t the person I had been expecting. Timid blue eyes took in everything that was around her. The pale red in her hair a striking difference to the fire red of mine. There was help here for me, and she looked terrified.^ You finish recording your album, Nightingale?

Lindsay: ^Sir had offered to drive me here. But I told him it wasn’t necessary. I wasn’t far from the shop. I had made this walk before. Besides I didn’t need to be taken to my new job. This was something I needed to do on my own. It went back to the first song I recorded for this album. The day I had stood outside of the shop, but hadn’t been able to walk in. The day I actually met Daddy Baines.

This was about overcoming my fears. This was something I needed to do by myself. And I knew I couldn’t pull Sir away from the recording studio. As much as he wanted to be here for me, there was still a lot of work that needed to be done on my record. It just happened to be that my part of the record was done. But I stood outside of the building for a second. I needed to think about what was going on here. I needed to think about what I was doing.

There hadn’t been a doubt in my mind that I needed to talk to Cay. There was a bunch of questions I had for her after the night in the club. It was something that hadn’t been repeated, but I wanted it to happen. I needed Daddy Baines. Not as much as I needed Sir, but in a very different way. He had helped center me. The second half of the album went much smoother after that night in the club. There was no denying it. I was better after being with a true Daddy.

But that didn’t mean I didn’t love my Sir. There was nothing that could pull me away from him. The ring that sat on my finger was a testament to that. I knew what I could handle and what I couldn’t handle. I needed to have a plan when I walked into the shop, though. I needed to have my wits about me.

But as I pushed opened the door, I wasn’t met with what I had expected. The shop wasn’t a dark and dingy place. Cay had made it feel like home. It was open and bright. It was like she didn’t want people to be ashamed when they were here. And as my eyes took everything in, I noticed Daddy Baines sitting on a bench behind the counter with a sketch pad in front of him.

But it was Cay’s words that brought me out of the wonder of everything around me. The three most important people in my life now had a nickname for me, and two of them related to birds. I wasn’t going to address that subject, though. Letting my eyes fall to the ground as I noticed Daddy Baines looking in our direction, I tucked some of my hair behind my hair.^ Yeah. Uh, Sir’s doing the rest of his job with that album. I thought I’d come down here and look around. Get familiar with the place before I actually started working here.

Cay: ^I could notice how Lindsay wouldn’t meet Daddy’s eyes. It was the first time the two of them had really been in the space together since that night. She didn’t know that this was a relationship dynamic that he could work with. But I needed her to be comfortable here. And if that meant getting Daddy out of the shop, I was going to do it.^ Daddy? Can you go grab lunch for all of us. You know what your son wants. Just order double of my usual meal and whatever else you want. I’m sure Nightingale will just pick at whatever we get.

^I didn’t have to tell him to not call the order in. He could tell that the girls needed to talk without him around. I could only grin as he shook his head with a smile before gathering up everything he needed to walk down the block to the Thai restaurant I loved so much. I had been expecting the kiss that was pressed against my lips. Daddy’s soft fingers going to gently caress the bump that everyone could now see against my stomach.

I could only smile as he pulled away from me and pressed a soft kiss to Lindsay’s forehead. His words were soft against her skin, but I could hear him saying something. But it was something for the two of them. And I wanted to let them have it. Whatever Daddy was doing, it was important to him.

As soon as he was out the door, I turned to the woman in the shop with me and raised a brow. I knew there was something more to what she was here for. And if getting rid of Daddy made it a little bit easier for her to talk to me, I’d do whatever I could to get her to relax.^ He’ll be about half an hour. If you want to chat, we can chat. About anything.

Lindsay: ^I could still hear the soft echo in my head from Daddy Baines. “Talk to her. She’ll listen to anything you need to discuss. Don’t be scared.” They weren’t wrong. I did need to talk to Cay. And in reality, this was a conversation that the four of us needed to have. But I figured going to Cay first was a good idea. She understood the side of me that I needed to express. And explaining that to Sir wasn’t going to be easy.

Besides, it was something I wanted to go to her about first. I wanted to know her opinion on all of it. Because if she wasn’t willing to do this with me, it didn’t matter if Sir thought it was a good idea. I needed Cay to be comfortable with it.

I could feel the panic coming. I wanted to have an attack. I wanted to avoid this talk. But Daddy Baines was right. It was just a conversation. There was nothing to be afraid of.^ I don’t know if I’ve said it, but thank you for inviting us to the club a few weeks ago. It was something that was needed. I had been in the house for far too long, and I pushed myself into working on an album I wasn’t entirely ready to work on. But after that night, everything seemed to come a little easier.

Cay: ^I nodded my head as Lindsay thanked me for the club. In all honesty, that night had been beneficial to both of us. We both asked for something we needed. And we didn’t hold back. It had been something I was worried about. When Mr. Francis had come into the shop to talk about Lindsay coming here, he had said he was pleased with her. Lindsay used to hold this fear of me taking her Sir away. But it was the furthest thing from the truth. The only person I wanted to be tied to was my Daddy.

Clearing my throat, I gave the girl a small smile.^ I know the kind of headspace Daddy can put you in. He just kind of relaxes you. It makes everything that much easier. And at the same time, I should be thanking you for that same night. I’m very glad that you and your Sir decided to come out. I think it was beneficial to all of us. We all learned something about ourselves, didn’t we?

^I raised a brow with a smile. I wanted Lindsay to come to me with this. I wanted her to be open and honest about what she wanted. And I had a feeling I knew what it was going to be. It was a thought that had crossed my mind, but I had no help here to cover the shop when I was gone. I mean, yes. I had Daddy. But I hated leaving him here to run things. But I couldn’t help the small giggle that slipped from my lips as a dusty pink color started to coat Lindsay’s cheeks.^

Lindsay: ^It shouldn’t have surprised me that Cay knew exactly what I was talking about. I should have been expecting this. But the problem was that I didn’t know how she was going to react to it. I still hadn’t come out and said what was going through my head. It was something she was still hinting at. And I wasn’t sure how to say it.

I turned my attention to the counter in front of me. There was nothing there, but it was still more interesting than what I wanted to say. I didn’t think I could look at Cay while I was saying everything. There was no way I could do it. I’d do nothing but panic. And panicking was the last thing I wanted to do.^

I’m out of my element here, Cay. I feel like I’m back to when I first started dating Sir. He’s the only person I’ve been with that into this lifestyle. I didn’t even know I was a submissive until him. The moment he put a blindfold over my eyes, I knew that this was something I needed. And then I met you and Daddy Baines. I can’t lie. Things haven’t been easy for me since Sir and I moved into the city. And I just don’t know what else to do. But you and Daddy Baines have made it simpler. And I’m terrified to lose that.

^I could only take a breath after that. I knew I still needed to tell her what I was proposing, but I needed a minute to gather what was going on in my head. I needed to gather the courage to ask if I could spend some time with her Daddy one on one. How was that supposed to be okay? But I knew the time for the two of us to talk about this was getting smaller. Unless we had this conversation with Daddy Baines in front of us.^ I want to share your Daddy. He does good things for me when I’m in the recording studio. Because of him, I had an album finished in record time. And when I need him, you could have Sir. I know that there was something there with the two of you.

Cay: ^I had been expecting something like this from her. I knew Daddy had had some kind of effect on her. It was something Mr. Francis and I had talked about before we had agreed with Lindsay coming to work with me. I had one hang up, but it had been shoved to the back of my head with her statement. And I had no idea how to handle it.

I was territorial over Daddy on a good day. I really didn’t like too many Littles coming around here because I was terrified of what was going to happen. Especially with me having a child in my stomach. I didn’t want him to get bored with me. I didn’t want him to freak out because this wasn’t what he wanted. But I should have known better. Nothing made him happier than me and Watson. But I needed to make sure that this was what Lindsay wanted before we took this a step forward.^

You want to treat Daddy and Sir like a timeshare?! Are you out of your mind?!

^The only way this was going to work was if this was for more than just her benefit. And she didn’t treat Daddy like he was a pokemon card. He wasn’t something to collect and use. He was so much more than that. And especially after everything that Del had put the two of us through. I didn’t want Daddy to get hurt again. It was the one thing I couldn’t tolerate. And if she was in it to hurt him, this was never going to happen. I would never allow it.^

Lindsay: ^I could only blink at Cay as she came out with that analogy. I had no idea what she thought I was talking about. But it wasn’t about treating either of the guys like a timeshare. It was about giving the two of us a chance at succeeding in our roles. And I knew it was going to be a little bit more difficult with the baby in the mix. But I needed her to see that this was serious for me. It wasn’t about just swapping partners. It was about reaching our full potential in the world we were in. No two relationships were the same. And this was just our way of getting our needs satisfied.^

It’s not a timeshare. It’s not something I want to just come visit for a few days and say “well, it’s been nice. I’m going home now”. This is about finding my footing in our world. This is about giving you a chance to get what you need some of the time. I love my Sir. Nothing will ever change that. And nothing can take me away from him. But I can’t force him into a role that he cannot be in. Much like you can’t force Daddy Baines to be a role he can’t fit in.

^I could only look at her with a raised brow. I knew she had gotten more out of her night with Sir than she was admitting to. I knew what Sir was like when he was taken over by need. I knew exactly what he said when he was so wrapped up in claiming someone. It was completely different than what Daddy Baines did. And I knew a part of Cay had responded from Sir.^

I wouldn’t ask you for time with Daddy Baines if I thought it would bring any kind of pain to you or Sir. I wouldn’t use either men like a timeshare. They are both better than that. They deserve to be loved and cherished. But they both thrive in giving us what we need the most. And if you think I would just jump into this without considering everyone’s emotions, you don’t know me.

Cay: ^Well, she was kind of right. I didn’t exactly know her. I had gotten to know her through her Sir, though. But she was right. It took a lot of courage for her to come talk to me about this. And it was a show of respect that she was talking to me about it before she went to either Daddy or her Sir about it. But I needed to think all of this through. It was not a topic I wanted to jump the gun on.

But Lindsay was right. There were times that I couldn’t get what I needed from Daddy. He was exactly that. He was a Daddy. Through and through. Rough and dominating weren’t a part of him. At least, not as rough and dominating as I sometimes craved. But there was more to it than just that. I knew what had happened the last time we had introduced someone into our relationship. We were both left broken. And it was something we were both still trying to fix. It was something Lindsay didn’t know about. I felt my eyes fall to the floor as I started explaining what had happened.^

Daddy and I are just getting over a major heartbreak, Nightingale. It wasn’t just the two of us. There was a third. And things were going well. But then we were left by him. He just packed up and walked away while Daddy and I were here. I don’t know if it was the idea of me being pregnant that scared him, or if his own feelings were what made him run. But he left us without a word. While is completely shattered me, it broke Daddy, too. And that’s not something I want to put him through again. I can’t put him in a position to get hurt again. So I cannot let you into a space with him if your only intention is to hurt him.

Lindsay: ^I could only listen as Cay let everything out. And it was in that moment that I understood what she was doing. She was protecting Daddy Baines. She thought I had the power to come in and destroy him. But I knew that wasn’t exactly the case. Cay was the only one that had that power. She was the only one that could break him. Just like I knew that Sir was the only person that could break me in half. I wasn’t exactly sure what I’d be if he decided I wasn’t worth it. And I wasn’t sure how my career would handle it if I was that broken.^

I’ve been a recording artist since I was sixteen. I’ve been covering Beatles songs since I first got into the business. I met Sir when I was nineteen. And it was because he was my producer. He made me better when I was that age because I wasn’t with him. I could sing the most heartbreaking songs about unrequited love and broken hearts because he didn’t know I existed. He saw me as nothing else than an artist. And then I decided that I wanted to record Happiness Is A Warm Gun. And I wasted a week on it. There was something about that song that I couldn’t figure out. Then Sir blindfolded me. I nailed it. It started us down the path where we are now.

I asked him if he could be my Daddy when I was in the recording studio. And he agreed to do it. But it was a role that wasn’t very him. He’s not good at it. But he tried for me. Because when I record, I need that little bit of protection and nurturing personality. But with Sir as my producer, it is a very fine line to walk for him. And I hate putting that kind of stress on him. It’s not something I like doing to him. But he’d never tell me no because it’s something I need.

^I felt the tears start to prick at my eyes. This had been a bad idea. There was no reason I should have come to Cay with the idea. I should have just kept it to myself. I could feel my breathing starting to come out in heavy pants. This was not what I had been expecting from this meeting. I was not expecting the panic attack that started to roll through my body. I couldn’t stop the tears from sliding down my cheeks as I tried to keep everything from getting to be too much.^

Cay: ^I was almost as surprised as Lindsay was when the panic started to take over. And I could see why it had. She had come here to talk to me about something that was important to her. And, in her eyes, I was shutting her down. It wasn’t my intention. It was something that I needed to know with her. But I had to stop her from going under water. It reminded me of the way that I would get lost right after Del left.

My hand was quick to wrap around her wrist and slowly start rubbing circles against her pulse point. I could feel the way her pulse was racing. I could feel the stress of this talk. And I realized that I had handled it wrong. As much as I should have been protective of Daddy, I didn’t need to take it this far. I owed her the chance to see where this could go.^

Take a breath, Nightingale. I need you to calm down. And I need to apologize. I should have listened to everything you had to say before telling you how I felt. So, I am absolutely sorry about that. But I am always going to do what protects my Daddy. And if that is checking to make sure that you’re not trying to manipulate him, I am going to do it. But I should have never pushed you to the point of panic. I just need to make sure that Daddy is being taken care of. He won’t ever admit that he needs it. He just wants to take care of everyone else. Someone has to care about him. Someone has to take care of him.

^There was so much more I wanted to say to her. But I wasn’t sure what was going to work. I wanted her to be comfortable here. And it was obvious that this was not a place she wanted to be right now. The only thing I could do was give her access to the apartment above the shop. But then I knew that I’d have to explain things to Daddy about what I did. He wouldn’t be mad at me for being defensive, but he would be disappointed that I didn’t take Lindsay into consideration when I was trying to wrap my head around all of this. I needed to remind myself that this wasn’t just about me. This wasn’t Lindsay trying to push me out of a relationship with Daddy. This was Lindsay trying to make all of this work.^

You’re right. I got a lot out of that one night with your Sir. Daddy can’t, or won’t, do to me what your Sir did. He doesn’t know how to go into that dark space. That or Daddy just doesn’t like going there. It’s not something we have ever truly explored. And yes, it is something that I do crave. And the truth is, if you want to share your Sir with me in exchange for me sharing Daddy, I think the only thing we can do is have a conversation about it with the guys.

Lindsay: ^Her words didn’t register too much. I could hear her, but the tiny white spots were starting to appear around my vision. And I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hold control much longer. What I really needed was a place where I could fall apart. I needed a place where I felt safe. And as much as I liked Cay, this wasn’t the place for me to completely break down. Not when a customer could walk through the door at any second.

I tried to get my eyes to focus on hers. I needed to ask her for this one thing. I was ready to beg for it if I had to, but I needed her to understand that this wasn’t her fault. I was just too far gone for anyone to help me unless they were Sir. My voice was soft and I felt the trembling as I tried to gather myself.^ I need a place where I can lose it. I can’t get calm. I don’t have Sir, and I’m too far gone. I don’t want to scare off anyone if they walk in. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do this.

Cay: ^I nodded my head. I was going to have to take her up to the apartment. And in truth, I didn’t mind. I wanted her to be comfortable here. And if she needed a place to lose control, then she could absolutely do it in my office. But I knew the truth. Either Daddy needed to come back now, or I was going to have to call Sir and explain to him what had happened.

I wasn’t looking forward to that call. But I heard the soft tappings on the floor as we walked up the steps. Leo hadn’t been thrilled with the idea of me leaving him. Not now that I was visibly pregnant. Part of me figured that he worried about me if I wasn’t around him. He was so much like Daddy that I knew there was no mistaking who the owner was. So I had convinced Daddy to let him come to work with us. Even though the apartment was small, he was the only one up here. And he had proven that he could absolutely be quiet. It was a good thing that he was there. He would be able to take care of Lindsay until Daddy got here.

Opening the door, I gently nudged Leo back. He gently pressed his head against my leg before his attention went to the woman that was with me. He made a soft whining sound before he scrambled over to the couch to wait for her.^ That’s Leo. He’s Daddy’s dog. But I think he has a weak spot for us Littles. At least, he has a soft spot for you and me. He won’t hurt you. He just wants to help.

^I didn’t bother explaining much more before I gave them both one more smile. Walking back down the stairs, I gave a longing glance to my cell phone. I wanted to call Mr Francis. I felt like there was some kind of responsibility to tell him what had happened. But I decided against it. I had to give Daddy a few minutes to show up. He might be able to calm her down if Leo hadn’t succeeded.^

Myrick: -I’d taken my time getting back to the shop with the food, but I didn’t like the look on Cay’s face when I walked in the front door or the fact that she was alone. It only took a quick glance around to know that Lindsay wasn’t down in the shop if she was still here, and Cay looked like she was worried. I didn’t know what had happened but I had a lot of questions.

I was pretty sure I knew what Lindsay was here to discuss with her. Or at least I thought I’d known. I had a feeling she was going to ask for more time. And it was something I was okay with giving her if Cay was alright with it. I was fine with Cay doing the same with Wes if that’s what she I wanted as well. Things had a different feeling to them than they had before with Del. I wasn’t scared of it this time because of the fact that we were both couples. It made things a little less lopsided. Besides, I knew that Lindsay wasn’t Del. And neither was Wes. I had a lot more faith in them than that.

I glanced over at Cay knitting my brows together- Is everything alright? I brought both of you food. Where’s the Songbird?

Cay: ^I had been expecting the questions when Daddy walked through the door. I knew he was going to ask questions the moment he saw Lindsay gone. I could only take a breath before I looked back up to him. I felt my eyes watering as I tried to keep the emotions from spilling over. This was the only downside to me being pregnant. I cried at the drop of a hat these days.^

She had a few questions. And I panicked. Kind of. I got overprotective and didn’t focus on her. I just said what was on my mind. And it made her panic. Like, a full blown panic attack.

^I swiped at the single tear that slid down my cheek. I hated that I had done this to her. I hated that I had pushed her to that point. And it was completely my fault.^ She’s upstairs in the apartment. I wanted to give her some space to gather herself and calm down. Leo’s with her. But I wasn’t sure if I should let you handle it or if I should call Mr Francis. I figured you’d want to try first.

Myrick: -I put the food down on the countertop and did the first thing that popped into my mind, walking over and pulling Cay into my arms to kiss away the tears that fell down her cheeks. I knew part of it was due to the baby and the hormones she couldn’t control. Some of it was because of the things we’d been through in the past few months. I couldn’t blame her gut reaction to things. It had been a hard fought battle to get to the place we were at now.

I crushed her to my chest, being careful not to hold her too hard but needing her close.- Baby Love, I’ve got you, ok? Please don’t cry. I’ll go up and make sure she’s ok, but I need you to be ok.

-leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head as I held her close. I knew Lindsay needed me upstairs but I needed my Baby Love to be alright before I set a single foot on the stairs.

She could only nod against my chest as I kept her there for a moment, fingers threading through her hair. I leaned down and stole another kiss.-

Now, I’m going to go up and make sure that Songbird is alright, ok Love?

-she nodded again, and I let her go with a promise that I’d be back down as soon as I was sure that Lindsay was alright. It was just a quick trip up the steps to the now very familiar apartment that waited at the top. I could hear the sound of Leo just behind the door along with Lindsay  who looked up, slightly startled, as I opened the door.

I didn’t say anything when I saw the still panicked look on her face. She wasn’t in a full panic attack, but it was still there, lingering close to the surface and threatening to take her under again with the first reason it was given.

I walked over to the couch, sitting next to her just long enough to pull her into my lap and wrap my arms around her to envelope her in my embrace. I left a soft kiss on her forehead and whispered- I’ve got you, Songbird. -as I leaned back into the cushions and placed a hand on Leo’s head to calm him when he softly whined-

Lindsay: ^I didn’t know how to react when the door opened. I had no idea who it was going to be on the other side. Cay very easily could have decided to call Sir and have him deal with me. But she had given me some space and time to deal with it. What I hadn’t been expecting was Daddy Baines to walk through and immediately wrap me up in his lap. I wasn’t sure what was going on. I didn’t know if Cay had told him what we had talked about, but I knew he was here. Trying to make me feel better.

There was a lot I wanted to say. I wanted to make it clear that this was different. That I didn’t have these attacks very often. But the truth was that I had them more often now that I was in New York. I shook my head as I let myself start to fall apart in Daddy Baines’ arms. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to speak or just stay quiet, but I had to say something. I had to tell him that I didn’t want Cay to get in trouble. None of this was her fault. It was all mine.^ I shouldn’t have asked her. I should have just been content with what I had. I didn’t mean to upset her. I didn’t mean to hurt her. I know how important she is to you. And I don’t want to come between the two of you. I don’t want her to think that I’m going to hurt you.

^I wasn’t sure if I was making sense, but I was rambling. It was all I had at the moment. But I hated sounding ridiculous. So I just stopped talking. It was sudden, but I wasn’t sure what else to say. I wasn’t sure how much I should say. I didn’t know how to handle this situation anymore. It just felt like every time I tried to do something, I made the wrong move. I didn’t know what I was doing, no matter what I tried to tell myself.^

Myrick: -I could tell everything was getting the better of Lindsay. She was letting all her doubts surface at once and take over until they overwhelmed everything else in her head. She was lost and couldn’t find her way out of it. I could hear it in her voice and see it in her eyes. She needed not to think for awhile, just to breathe.-

Cay is important to me, but you can’t blame yourself for asking for what you need. Cay and I have been through a lot in the past few months. It makes her worry. But you’re ok. Don’t worry about any of that right now. Just sit here and focus on breathing. That’s all you have to do right now. I’ve got you, Songbird.

-I ran my fingers through her hair and tucked it back behind her ear. I was right about the reason she’d come here, and I knew how nerve wracking that conversation had to be for her. I was amazed she’d worked up the courage to ask at all. I leaned in to press a kiss to Lindsay’s forehead and tuck her closer into my chest.

I just wanted to keep her there until she got herself together, but I also wanted to distract her. I moved to brush another kiss across her lips, hoping that it would get her mind off everything that was roaring around inside her head at least for a moment and reassure her that she wasn’t crazy for asking for more time-

Lindsay: ^I felt almost shy as Daddy Baines pressed a kiss against my lips. This was more than just about me. It seemed like he wanted this, too. And I wasn’t entirely sure why. But I needed to listen to him. Even if it wasn’t completely official, he still had my best interests at heart. And I knew that I needed to relax. I needed to get the anxiety out of me.

I took another kiss from him before turning my attention back to the dog that had been watching us. He was so much like his owner. Completely caring, and willing to do whatever he needed to to make me feel better. I felt myself reach out to comb my fingers through his fur as I cuddled against the man that held me close to his chest^ I’m just terrified that I’m making the wrong steps. I don’t want to hurt either of you. And the only reason I came to her with the idea is because I think it’s something that we can all benefit from. I don’t want to take you away from her. I think the two of you are perfect together. And I don’t think she could come between me and Sir. He’s the only person I have ever seen myself settling down with. But I do think there is something between the four of us that we should explore.

Myrick: -I settled in with her, letting Lindsay take her time in gently petting the dog and relax as much as possible. I needed her to get comfortable. She was finally starting to calm down and be able to speak about what had happened downstairs.

I wasn’t going to lie and tell her that it was something that hadn’t crossed my mind. Things had worked out well between all four of us that night. Wesley had something that I wasn’t going to be able to give Cay. It wasn’t that I hadn’t tried, but it wasn’t really something that I was certain I was capable of doing. Part of me hated that I couldn’t pull that off, but Cay understood. I didn’t have a problem with her finding that in someone else.

I figured Wesley felt the same way about Lindsay’s relationship with me. He tried to be a Daddy, but it wasn’t what he really was, and trying to be what you’re not was something that rarely worked out in the long term. I knew that better than anyone else here. I’d tried for far too long to be what my family wanted of me, and all it had done was nearly break me. There was no good to come of trying to keep it up for long.-

I’ll have to talk to Cay about it, but she wouldn’t have sent me up here to be with you if she wasn’t okay with it. I know her well enough to know that. And I know she enjoyed her time with your Sir. She and I spoke about it after that night at the club.  I’m pretty sure you’re not overreaching, even if her gut reaction was something that scared you. She’s being protective.

And you’re right. There’s no one that’s going to come between me and Baby Love, not after everything we’ve been through. She’s it for me. I know what you mean by all of that. But I don’t think you’re crazy or selfish for wanting it, as long as the other two are fine with it then I think we do have something to explore.

Lindsay: ^I nodded my head. It seemed like the only one that didn’t have any idea that this was going on was Sir. Him and I had had a short conversation about what had happened at the club. But I wasn’t sure if he knew I was going to address the topic with Cay. I wasn’t sure how he was going to react to all of this. I knew he liked her. But I was also worried that Sir was going to hold all of this at arms length because of my issues with Cay from before.

But the truth was that I wanted this to work. I didn’t want to pigeon hole Sir into having to be my Daddy. It was even worse because it was probably the one time he actually needed to be firm with me. I didn’t want to be ashamed about any of this, though. I knew I shouldn’t be ashamed. There was no reason to feel that way. This was more than just that. And I knew I was safe here telling Daddy Baines how I was feeling.^ I don’t want this to be a romantic thing. I’m not going to pretend that there won’t be emotional connections. We’ll all feel something for each other. But I’m always going to respect your relationship with Cay. That’ll always be the relationship that I put first over the relationship that we might have. I don’t want to upset her unnecessarily. I just want to find a way to make all of this work

Myrick: -She was right. We all needed to work out the details and the boundaries of what was going on here. I didn’t want this to take away from what any of us had going with our significant others in the slightest, but if there was something we all had to offer each other then I wanted us to be able to do that. We just needed to make sure everyone was comfortable and vocal about what they needed. Communication was going to be the key here.

We needed to talk to Cay and Wesley and decide what was best for all of us and what the rules for all of this was going to be. It wasn’t a conversation we could have without everyone involved.-

I don’t want to upset either of them or you. I feel the same way. I’m going to put your relationship with Wesley over whatever we have going as well. Romance… That’s for him. I don’t go into things like this blindly. I wouldn’t be able to have something physical with someone I didn’t have some kind of feelings for, but they’re not the same as the way I feel about Baby Love and they’re not the same as the way I know you feel about your Sir. It’s on a different level, but it’s there. We can all be honest about that I think.

The key to all of this is just going to be getting everyone together and making sure that the roles are well-defined. We just need to know where the lines are and what everyone is comfortable with.

Lindsay: ^I nodded as I slowly released a breath. He was right. And in a way, I knew that we needed to talk to Sir about it. I just wasn’t sure how Cay was going to react to him just walking in. But I knew this was a thing. Daddy Baines was right. We all needed to sit down and talk about what was going on. It was the only way that this was going to work.

Taking one more kiss from Daddy Baines’ lips, I moved off of his lap and stood to the side. Things were coming together, but we still needed to talk to Cay about all of this. I didn’t want to invite Sir into the shop unless she was okay with all of this. I wanted her to know that I didn’t ever want to come between her and Daddy Baines. This wasn’t about me hurting them. This was just about her and I getting what we both needed from two men who might be willing to give us what we needed.^ I think we should go back downstairs and talk to Cay. I’d like to invite Sir over for the chance to talk about it. But I’m not sure when he’ll be done with work tonight. But as long as he knows I want to talk to him, he will probably show up at some point.

Cay: ^I wasn’t sure what was going on upstairs. I didn’t know if Nightingale was having a panic attack or if Daddy had found a way to calm her down. But that didn’t exactly matter to me. I didn’t like the idea of her having this huge freak out without her Sir being here. It didn’t matter if Daddy could calm her down. Part of me felt like this was a conversation her Sir needed to know about.

Daddy and I had talked about what had happened after the club. There was no way that this was going to bother me. But I wanted to protect him at all costs. I didn’t want Lindsay breaking him again. That was something that terrified me. But I knew that I wanted to have time with Sir again. Especially since Lindsay was open about wanting to spend some time with Daddy.

I trust the two of them while they were upstairs together. There wasn’t much that they could be doing that would offend me. This was the one thing I wanted them to do. I needed them to lean on each other. I needed them to understand that this was okay. Them spending time alone was okay.

But I still didn’t like the idea of Sir not knowing about Nightingale’s panic attack. My fingers flew across the keyboard as I typed out a message to him.^ Your Rose had a panic attack. Daddy is talking to her now, but I think she would benefit from seeing you, Sir. If you don’t mind stopping by for lunch?

Wes: -my phone went off just as I was walking out of the front of the building for a lunch break. Perfect timing after reading the message that Cay sent me. Most of the texts between us were chit chat about things I’d ordered or Lindsay coming to work at the shop. This was a little different. I’d figured she was going to head over there this afternoon to get a feel for the place, but she’d had a panic attack while she was there. I could only wonder what had set it into motion. I felt better that Cay and Myrick were there with her. If there was anyone besides me who could handle her when she was upset, it would be him.

The shop was close enough that I didn’t even need to go get the car out of the garage. It was going to wind up being quicker for me to walk there in this city. The noon traffic was outrageous anyway, and I had a slow afternoon coming. I could take my time with making sure that things were alright there.

I tapped out a message as I set off down the street towards the shop- I’m already on the way.

-It was a quick walk there from here, and I was anxious to make sure that she was alright.-

Cay: ^I could only smile as Sir walked through the door. I gave him a smile and was glad to see he didn’t have any food. It was the one thing I had forgotten to mention when I had sent him the message. Walking over to the door, I flipped the lock and sign to closed. If Amelia and Cassidy had a fit over it being closed, I could always just tell them that I wasn’t feeling well and Daddy took me to the doctors. I pressed a soft kiss to Sir’s cheek before dragging him over to the counter.^

I’d like to give them a few more minutes to talk before I send you up to Lindsay. I think Daddy can get her to calm down. I’m sure Leo helped out while she was up there. But I’m afraid I may have said something that upset her. And she just lost control of her emotions. I don’t blame her. It wasn’t exactly her fault. I just have a way about me.

^I was rambling. But I was nervous. I didn’t know if Sir knew what Lindsay had come here to talk about. I didn’t know if she had discussed it with him before she got here. All I knew was that she had wanted to talk to me about it first.Leading Sir to the counter, I stood behind it with a small smile.^ Help me get lunch out on the counter. Daddy bought more than enough for the four of us. Thai food. Again. Because Watson has demanded we eat Thai, still.

^I felt my lips curve into a smirk as I turned my back towards the chopsticks. There were more than enough pairs for everyone in the drawer, and I knew Daddy and I each had our own set of plastic chopsticks. Pulling a set out for everyone, I tilted my head to the side as I looked at Sir.^ You figure out how to use these yet?

Wesley: -I laughed softly as I watched her get everything set out across the counter and pulled out the chopsticks. I remembered the last time we’d eaten lunch across this counter. It seemed like a long time ago, but in reality it had been only a few weeks. I hadn’t had an opportunity to use them since then, so I couldn’t honestly say I’d practiced.

I was glad to see her smiling and willing to give the two of them upstairs a little more time. It meant things weren’t that bad. Otherwise, she’d have wanted me to head up there to help. I figured Myrick had things on lock upstairs or he’d have been asking for help. I trusted the two of them. It was a little odd to admit the extent to which I did trust them. I wasn’t used to trusting anyone other than Rose like that, but it was nice to have other people that I knew had my back. It hadn’t been something I’d had in my life up until now.-

No, I still have no clue how to use them, but I’ll fumble my way through as usual. I’m good at that. -I pulled up a chair to the edge of the counter and glanced up at the redhead working behind the counter- So Cardinal… what set her off?

-I had to admit I was curious about what had happened. I wasn’t sure what the two of them had talked about or if just being here had been overwhelming for her, but I wanted to know so I could make sure I helped her through whatever it was.-

Lindsay: ^I could hear talking as Daddy Baines and I made our way down the stairs. I was almost surprised at what I saw, though. I should have known better, though. There was no way that Cay or Daddy Baines was going to let me go through this on my own. So there was no shock that one of them had called Sir. I turned to look at Daddy Baines with a question in my eye, but I was greeted with a shake of his head. He hadn’t done this. So it had to have been Cay.

I heard the question Sir had asked her. What set me off? Which means he knew I had had a panic attack. It wouldn’t have been the first time I had had one. It definitely wasn’t the first time I had had one since moving to New York. But I noticed the way Cay’s eyes widened as she saw Daddy Baines and I enter the room. She wasn’t sure how to answer it, and I couldn’t exactly blame her.^

I may have overstepped my bounds a little bit? I asked her a question, and I didn’t think the consequences through completely. ^I could only turn my attention to Cay as Daddy Baines and I walked up to the counter.^ I understand why you are protective of him. And I didn’t mean any harm. But I never meant to come between the two of you. That’s not what I want out of this. I just want all of us to be complete.

Cay: ^Lindsay’s shoulders rose and fell in a shrug with her last statement. And all I could do was nod before turning my attention back to Sir. He was slightly confused still. The answer was vague.^ What Nightingale is dancing around is the fact that she came here today to ask my opinion on her and I having time with you and Daddy. She feels as though she benefited from that night in the club. And I cannot deny that I did as well. But I think the nerves got the best of all of us.

^Looking up to Daddy, I motioned him to the office. We needed two more stools so that everyone could be comfortable. Pressing a kiss to my lips, he set off without asking another question. He knew this was going to be something we all had to talk about. My lips curved into a little smirk before I pulled out a plastic fork and slid it across to Sir.^ Don’t put on a show for us. Be comfortable with lunch.

^Turning my attention to the redhead standing at Sir’s side, I realized what I needed to do.^ I do owe you an apology, Nightingale. You didn’t deserve what I said to you. Yes, I am overprotective of Daddy. But I should have addressed the subject in a different way. I know all of this is new for you. And I’m sorry that I had to make it worse. But I knew that having your Sir here would help. And I think it’s time the four of us sat down together and started talking about all of this.

Wes: -It only took a moment after she walked down the stairs for all of this to click into place. We’d talked a little about what had happened that night at the club between the four of us, but not at length. I had to admit there had been something there for all of us. I wasn’t blind enough to miss that. I was blind enough to not be able to see that my Rose wanted more of it. I couldn’t exactly blame her. Myrick was good at what he did, so was I. But neither of us was good at being something we weren’t, which meant our other halves missed out from time to time on the things they wanted or craved.

I took the fork from Cay and settled into the stool I’d chosen before while Myrick brought out another pair for he and Rose. The four of us had some time to get comfortable and make sure we had all of this aired out. We all needed to know what was going on. I wasn’t afraid of this. It was intriguing at worst. I just wanted to know how all of the rest of them were viewing this. It felt like it held potential if done correctly, but I knew we were also going to have to be careful about how all of this went down.

Stabbing at a piece of chicken and bringing it to my mouth before I leaned on the glass countertop, I glanced around at all of them. I was easily the oldest person in this room. It was a little strange considering that I was actually pretty young to be working in the industry I was in. But to be honest, I had more experience with the lifestyle than everyone else here.-

Well, I guess this is only a little bit of a surprise. I mean, I was fine with it back at the club, and nothing has changed about any of that. We just need to make sure there are some guidelines in place about mine and Cardinal and Daddy and his Songbird so things don’t get out of hand. I know we’re all devoted to our other halves. We all know that, but I also know how feelings are. They’re going to get hurt and confused and wires will get crossed if we don’t delineate things now, and we won’t even mean to do it to each other. Just heading into things blindly is going to be the worst thing we could do right now. I’m frankly glad we’re sitting down to talk it all out first.

-I was worried I was sounding like a bossy asshole, but there wasn’t much avoiding it. I was just being honest. I wanted everyone to know what our roles were in all of this so we didn’t hurt each other inadvertently in the future.-

I can try to do the whole Daddy thing for Rose, but I’m not good at it. And I suspect quite the same thing is true for you, Myrick. You can try to be a regular Dom for Cay, but it’s not a natural fit. And no matter how hard either of us try, we can’t be something we’re not. The same is true for the girls. I wouldn’t want to force them to do anything or to give up a part of themselves just because we can’t give it to them.

This isn’t about romance, but I’m also not going to say there aren’t going to be feelings involved for all of us. I wouldn’t want it without that. I just want everyone to be comfortable with the level of things. So if anyone’s got any idea about rules or guidelines, I’m all ears.

Myrick: -I had worried this was going to be an awkward conversation. If left up to me it might have been. It was admittedly uncomfortable talking to someone about being in a relationship of sorts with their significant other unless they were the ones that brought it up. Maybe even then. I just let Wes go on, knowing he was right about everything he said. He’d even brought up points that Lindsay and I had discussed upstairs before he’d arrived. It seemed like all of us were pretty much on the same page, but we needed to make sure before it all began.-

Well, I don’t want to assume anything goes without saying here, so I’m going to start with stating the obvious. My relationship with Cay takes priority over mine with anyone else. I’m going to say the same for yours with Lindsay. They’re going to be where we spend the majority of our time and effort, and in the end she’s the most important to me. -I looked across to Cay, reaching out to grab her hand and play with the ring that sat on her left ring finger.- I doubt any of us will have a problem with giving their significant other precedence over the others. I think that’s really why we’re here anyway. We just want to make sure all of us are absolutely fulfilled.

Cay: ^I rolled my eyes at the guys and what they were saying. It was a sudden turn of events that put them in the driver’s seat of this conversation. And it wasn’t something I was entirely thrilled with. This was not what I wanted to happen. Pointing my chopsticks at Sir and then Daddy, I just arched a brow.^ First of all, neither Nightingale nor I thought this was going to be a completely romantic thing. Will there be feelings involved? Yes, of course. We cannot be delusional here.

Second of all, I understand you are both Doms in your own special way. But that does not mean that you get to take this conversation away from us. It was our conversation to have first. Not yours.

^I let out a huff before turning my attention back to the shy strawberry blond that sat across from me. She looked like she was getting overwhelmed again because everyone was talking for her. I knew that both Daddy and Sir had her best interests at heart. But neither were a sub. And neither understood what it was like to almost lose your voice in a room full of Dominants.^ Why don’t you tell them what you need, Nightingale. As much as this is about them, this is about what we need. And they need to hear that before they can try to create the boundaries and rules that they think we need.

Lindsay: ^Cay wasn’t exactly wrong. I was getting overwhelmed by Sir and Daddy Baines talking around the two of us. It was almost like we weren’t there. Oddly enough, it felt like the times I was in the recording studio before I had demanded Sir be my producer. I needed to let everyone know that this wasn’t something I had walked into lightly. I had thought this out.^ I love you, Sir. And I love everything that you have ever done for me. Both professionally and personally. I wouldn’t be in this lifestyle if you hadn’t decided I needed to be blindfolded when I was in the booth. Nothing, and no one, can take that away from you. No one can take me away from you.

^Looking across the table to Cay, I gave her a small smile. Because this wasn’t just about me, either. This was about her, too.^ I like your Daddy. But it will never be anything more than admiration and appreciation for what he can give me. I’m not going to fall in love with him. My heart completely belongs to the man sitting next to me. I am his and he is mine.

When Sir and I first moved to town, I felt threatened by you. I didn’t know about Daddy Baines. I just knew about the little girl that ran a shop where Sir was getting all of our playroom supplies from. And I was threatened because he was spending more time here than he was spending at home.

^I felt the tear slide down my cheek. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sir start to reach for it before Cay shook her head. Her finger slid across the tear with a soft smile. She knew that this was what needed to happen. We needed to have this talk in this way. We needed everything to be put out on the table.^ I’m not asking to have Daddy Baines as a way to get back at you for the way I felt. As a matter of fact, the moment I met the two of you together, I understood what Sir had been trying to tell me. There was nothing for me to be threatened by.

I’m primarily a sub. But I do have little tendencies. And there are times when I need to give into those tendencies. There are days where I just need to be cuddled and consoled and cherished. Sir tried for a very long time to give me that. But it’s a major contradiction to his personality. It’s why I benefited from one night with Daddy Baines. I didn’t have to ask for him to flip a switch. It was natural.

^Turning my attention to the man sitting next to me, I could only give him a pleading look. I needed him to understand how important this was for me.^ I don’t like asking you to be something that you’re not. And you’re not a Daddy. What I’m asking is that you and Daddy Baines take into consideration that there is something that Cay and I could benefit from with having both of you in our lives. Even if it’s just until the baby is born or if it’s something that we continue down the line.

Wes:  -I leaned in and wrapped an arm around my Rose, pressing a kiss to her temple as soon as she was done speaking. I kind of hated that the two of us had taken over, but I supposed that was one of the side effects of having two dominants of one sort or another in a conversation together. It didn’t make it right, and I was glad that Cay had called us on it and that Lindsay had had enough courage to make herself known.

The two of them were right. And it was good to see the two of them interacting with each other so well. I wanted her to have something in her life that made her happy, something outside of work and outside of her relationship with me. I needed her to know she had somewhere else to go besides me, especially when she was frustrated with me. Cay was a friend. Myrick was a potential source of the Daddy she really needed. I understood why she was looking for what the two of them had to offer.-

Then why don’t we try it? I think we’re all on the same level here, and I think we all understand what’s the most important for each of us. Just tell me if I’m wrong here, but we have a lot to gain if we can manage it well. I like the two of you, more than I ever thought I was going to. I don’t mean that bluntly. It’s just a statement of fact. I had no way of knowing that I was going to be as close to either of you as we’ve seem to become, but it feels right.

Cay: ^I could only smile at Nightingale and Sir. They were very much the same way as Daddy and I. And I knew I had been wrong to get so defensive. Nothing was going to split them up, and that made me happy. I wanted all of us to be happy. And we were all making moves to be that way. Clearing my throat, I let a smile creep into my face.^

We do need rules. And I think the biggest one should be no sleepovers. I mean, Lindsay is welcome to come stay with us if you have to go out of town, Sir. And I’m sure Daddy feels the same way should he have to go out of town. But I don’t think I should stay with just you or Lindsay staying with just Daddy. We should always go home with our respective partners.

^Turning my attention to Lindsay, I gave her a small smile.^ You’re always welcome in our place if you don’t want to stay alone when Sir is gone. I don’t even mind if you share a bed with the two of us. Whatever you’re comfortable with, Nightingale. But don’t think you have to stay alone. We may have Watson, but I think I can get his aunt Cassidy to take him on those nights. Do you agree, Daddy?

Myrick: -laughing softly as I hear Cay talking about aunt Cassidy and Watson. She wasn’t wrong there.- I’m pretty sure we’re going to have trouble getting him back from his aunt Cassidy on most nights, to be honest.

-Cay had a point about the no overnighters. That was a surefire way to get people jealous or to nurture feelings where they shouldn’t have been. Besides, I was eager to make sure I spent every night that I could with Cay in my arms. But there were going to be times when either Wes or I might have to be out of town. It was more likely with him than with me, but it wasn’t unforeseeable. I occasionally had to go out and meet with authors. I’d just gotten lucky that most of my usual authors were here in New York so far, but I’d worked with several out of town before I’d met Cay.

As far as Lindsay spending the night, that was something that we could definitely work with, and as long as Cay was alright with it, then so was I.- Songbird is welcome to come stay with us whenever her Sir isn’t around to take care of her. That’s more than alright, whether she wants to sleep in our bed or not. She’s welcome to be there.

-I looked over to Lindsay with a smile, glad to see that Wes had pulled her into his side and stolen a kiss off her forehead while we were talking. It was clear that the two of them were in love. It was one of the things that reassured me the most about all of this.-

And what about you, Songbird? Are there any rules you think are important?

Lindsay: ^I felt a blush start to creep up my neck as Daddy Baines called me Songbird. It was something that had different meanings from different people. And this wasn’t going to be a rule for everyone. It was just something that was going to be for me. It was something I was going to need to keep myself from going insane.

I turned towards my Sir before clearing my throat. I wasn’t sure how to get out what I wanted to say. But I knew it needed to come out.^ I know that you call me Songbird in the studio. And I assume that was to keep our relationship more professional when we were in Las Vegas. But then we moved here. And the record company knew we came as a packaged deal. They knew we were involved. And it was okay. So I think I need you to let Daddy Baines have Songbird. I prefer it when you call me Rose. I like being your Rose. I like being his Songbird. I even like being Cay’s Nightingale.

^I could only look down at my hands as I tried to gather my thoughts. I needed to tell him everything I needed everyone to know why I had a problem with being his Songbird. I needed everyone to know that there were connotations associated with that name.^ You tended to use Songbird when I was doing something wrong. If I needed to fix something in the way I was performing. Hearing you say Songbird makes me feel like I did something wrong. And I can’t associate that feeling with Songbird anymore. I also don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with. So if you want to call me Songbird in the studio, I’ll figure out a way to make it work.

Wes: -I knew when Lindsay looked down at her hands it meant she was scared to say something. Just what she was scared to say was a bit of a surprise. When I thought about what she was saying, I knew she was right. Songbird was usually what came out of my mouth when I was upset or disappointed about something. I didn’t want her correlating the two things in her mind when she was trying to work with Myrick. It would have been too much for anyone to absorb and sort out. If she was going to have a positive connection with that name, then it was going to be something I would have to give up.-

Then, I’ll come up with something else to call you in the studio, Rose. That’s not a problem. I don’t mind altering my nicknames if it means you’re going to have an easier time with all of this.

-I leaned in and stole another kiss. Giving up that particular name wasn’t going to be a hardship. She was always going to be my Rose. That was the one thing I wasn’t going to ever be able to give up calling her.-

Cay: ^I let out a soft gasp as I felt something press against my stomach. It wasn’t from the outside, though. There was no way it was Daddy. Not unless Daddy had become a baby. And it was the first time Watson was making his presence known. I didn’t want to make a huge deal about it, though. I wanted to see if Daddy could figure out what was happening.

I took his hand and gently placed it over the spot that Watson had started kicking before turning my attention back to the couple in front of me. I wanted to keep talking. I wanted to keep everything normal until Daddy realized what was happening.^

I agree with that. And I think that all of our nicknames should stay with who gave them to us. I will always be Daddy’s Baby Love. And I’m Sir’s Cardinal. I think that Lindsay should only be Daddy’s Songbird. And she can continue to be Sir’s Rose. And, if she’s still comfortable with it, I’ll keep calling her Nightingale.

^There was a small smile playing across Lindsay’s face as she listened to me speak. I knew that this was going to be the best thing for all of us. She had wanted to just talk about everything with me. And as much as I loved the sentiment, we needed to do this. And better now than later.^

We’ve also got to figure out how to handle everything once Watson gets here. I’m not even going to pretend that this is going to be easy. Being a mother is going to be even harder. I don’t want any of you feeling like you’re being neglected because I am exhausted. So just tell me if I’m not giving you what you guys need.

Lindsay: ^I couldn’t give the guys a second to respond. And it seemed like Daddy Baines was preoccupied with something. My words were soft as I tilted my head to the side in Cay’s direction with a grin.^ You will not rush yourself to be back with any of us. That baby boy is going to need you far more than the three of us will need you.

^I saw her face crumble just a little as I said what had been inside of my head. But, as usual, it came out wrong. I let out a groan as I tried to backtrack a little. I needed Cay to understand that three of us in the room came after that little boy. And even then, Sir and I came after Daddy.^ Daddy Baines will be there to take care of you. You worry about Watson. Sir and I are not going to just decide that the two of you aren’t worth all of this just because you have Watson to worry about. Besides, we have time before we have to figure out what we’re doing.

^I pressed my teeth against my bottom lip. I didn’t want to hide anything from the other three people in the room with me. And I knew that there was only one way for all of this to work. Even with all the rules in place, there was one thing we all needed to understand.^ As much as I will want to spend time with Daddy Baines and Sir, I think it’ll be a good idea if Cay and I spent some time together. There are going to be times where we both need to decompress from what is going on around us. And if that means we need to take time together, I think we should do that. Especially if she’s too overwhelmed with everything.

Myrick: -I grinned to myself when Cay moved my hand to her stomach, but I caught my breath when I felt the tiny flutter of movement beneath my hand. I wasn’t exactly trying to give it away to the other two in the room. I liked the fact that this moment was just between the two of us. It was the first time I’d felt him move, and it was absolutely fascinating. I wasn’t sure how much longer it was going to last. It was just a moment, but I refused to move my hand until he stopped moving. I knew there was a lot more of that to come, but something about the first time was breathtaking.

I knew what Lindsay was trying to say even if it didn’t necessarily come out right. Cay and Lindsay could both use a friend, especially one that understood the particulars of being a sub. Cassie and Lia were both wonderful to Cay. I couldn’t have asked for anyone who cared about her as much as the two of them did. But there were things about being a sub that neither of them could completely understand. No one could have expected them to.

Lindsay was fairly alone in a completely new city with no one she knew other than Wesley and a few people at the studio. She could only benefit from having someone to talk to about everything that was going on. I thought it was a wonderful idea.-

I think you two should hang out together whenever you need to. I’ll be happy to do whatever I need to do to make sure you can have time to just relax. I’m sure Wes will do the same. We’re all going to need each other. It makes me happy to know you’ll both have each other if you need someone to listen or rely on.

-I leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Cay’s cheek. I hope she knew how much I was in love with her whatever the four of us decided to do, she and Watson were always going to be the most important parts of my life. I reached down, taking her hand and toyed with her engagement ring in a hope to remind her.-

Wesley: -Lindsay having someone to hang out with in the city was probably going to be the best thing for her. She’d been alone far too long, and closing herself up in the apartment had lead to her almost falling apart. That had been partly my fault. I should have taken her out and introduced her to people, but I’d let her introverted nature give me a false sense of thinking that she wanted to be on her own. We all needed other people. Up until recently, I’d been the only person she’d known in the city. This was a good change. I was happy she was going to have at least two more people who cared about her. -

I think the two of you should hang out together whenever you want to. Just say the word, and we can make it happen.

-I smiled over at Cay, noting the way that Myrick was playing with her ring, turning it slowly around her finger. It was good to see how much he loved her. I knew she loved him. The two of them were perfect together. I was hoping that the dynamic between the four of us only made everything better for everyone involved. So far, it seemed that was going to be the case. It gave us all something we thought we were going to have to give up, and it provided an even more solid support structure for each of us. All in all, it made me feel as if Rose and I were a little less on our own in a new city and that we were going to be able to find an outlet for everything we needed.-

Cay: ^I could only laugh softly as both guys agreed to give me and Lindsay time together. It wasn’t that I doubted them. But I also ran this shop. I could very well kick both of them out if I felt like Lindsay needed time with me. But I also needed her to understand that this was a safe place for her.^

We do need to have time together. And as the manager of this place, I can make that happen. We don’t need their permission. I can make it happen. And the important thing for you to know is that it’s completely safe for you to talk to me. What we talk about can always just stay between the two of us.

^I felt Sir’s eyes narrow as I said those words. But the truth was that I was no a spy. And Lindsay needed a space where she didn’t have to feel confined to the rules of our world.^ You need to trust us, Sir. She needs the chance to discuss things with a sub. And you need to trust me. I’ll come to you it if it’s serious, but both her and I need someone we can confide in. As much as we both answer to you, we don’t need you to know every little thing that happens between the two of us.

^I could only raise a brow in Sir’s direction. There was no way I was going to let the guys bully us into telling them everything. Lindsay needed me just as much as she needed the guys. And I needed them to understand, and be okay, with that.^

Wes:  -As much as I knew that Cay and Lindsay needed each other to confide in, there was a part of me that hated to admit that hated not knowing everything the two of them talked about. That was an inner failing on my part. It wouldn’t have been realistic for me to know everything she did, said or thought about.

It wouldn’t have been healthy either, and expecting Cay to tell me what the two of them talked about was only going to ruin whatever trust the two of them built between each other. Cay was right there. I was just going to have to deal with myself and how nervous not knowing things made me. It was my personal downfall, not any of theirs. -

No, I know you’re right. We all need someone to talk to without having to worry about the topic of conversation getting back to other people. I trust you. I also trust you to tell me if she really needs me, even if she’s trying to hide it. My Rose is good at trying to hide how she’s feeling if she thinks it will let me down.

-I tightened my arm around her, pulling her in closer. I hated talking about her in the third person, like she wasn’t even in the room. It didn’t feel right. I brushed a kiss across her shoulder, pausing to whisper in her ear- I love you, Rose, and I do trust you.

-I needed her to know that, and I wanted all of this to work out for all four of us. It had the potential to be something great for all of us. We all needed something that we could get from one of the other three in a different way. It had the potential to be the key to ensuring everyone got all of their needs met if we did this the right way.

I glanced down at my watch for the first time in this conversation. I hadn’t realized how much time had passed since I’d arrived at the shop, but it was getting close to time for me to leave as much as I wanted to stay. I took a long breath, brushing another kiss across my Rose’s skin. I didn’t want to let her go. I didn’t want to leave her. I didn’t want to leave any of them, as a matter of fact, but I was going to have to. I needed to head into a meeting soon, and I still had to make the trip back to the studio. As much as I wanted to stay, I needed to go soon.-

As much as I would love to stay and spend the rest of the afternoon with all of you, I really need to get back to the office. -I couldn’t resist stealing another kiss off Lindsay’s cheek before I made any kind of attempt to extricate myself from being wrapped around her.- I’m glad we all had a chance to talk. -smiling at the young couple across the counter from me as we all said our goodbyes was natural. It felt right, like all of this had. It was a good feeling, and it felt like Lindsay and I had a support system of sorts falling into place for the first time since we’d left Las Vegas. I was going to do what I needed to to make sure that support system for all of us stayed in place and stayed as healthy as we could all possibly make it. -

#ChasingRainbowsOnMyOwn

[sinfulmyrick]

In Fact, It’s Cold As Hell (SL with @DayDividesNight, @BluesAndSorrow and @APerfectSong_)

Cay: ^I could feel my body starting to shake. This was the one night I wasn’t looking forward to. I felt like there was so much to do still. I wasn’t sure about everyone I had scheduled for the stage, and I sure as hell wasn’t sure if Daddy wanted to do this. But every time I brought it up to him, he just told me the same thing. If it was something I wanted to do, I could do it.

But the truth was, I wasn’t sure I wanted to do it. Planning the club night had started out as a way to distract myself from Del leaving. There were still times it bothered me, but things were better. Daddy and I were better now that we were in our own place. We could focus on getting everything ready for the baby.

Neither one of us was particularly thrilled with being in the club tonight. But we had promised Mellie and Cass that we’d be here to host it. Yes, it had been their idea. But this was outside of their comfort zone. It was the entire reason they had come to us with it.

I wasn’t entirely sure I could go back into Trinity, though. I hadn’t spent much time in there since I had met Del, but I knew I had people who would support me if I needed a break. It was a short walk from the back of Trinity to the apartment. I could always take a breath there if I needed to. And not many people knew about that passageway.

I could only press my hands against the tiny skirt I was wearing. Daddy had been firm in his ideas when we talked about the club. The rule had always been that he got to pick out my outfit at least once a week. And tonight’s outfit had been a requirement. A tiny pink and black plaid skirt with a white button up top. I didn’t know if he was going to approve or not, but I only buttoned the middle two buttons before knotting the bottom. If you looked hard enough, you could see the tiny bump that signified I was pregnant.

The skirt and shirt were pulled together with knee high socks and black platform Mary Janes. It was what Daddy wanted, so I had to give it to him. Bringing my fingers up to my neck, I gently clasped my collar around my neck. The light pink and black lace was everything to me. There was leather hidden in the collar so that Daddy didn’t destroy the whole thing if he felt like pulling on it.

The infinity symbol sat against my skin as I tried to get everything to calm down. I knew that this was going to be a long night, and I knew I needed to be a good girl. I had to play host, but I also had to keep Daddy as occupied as I could. And I couldn’t let my nerves get the best of me when I thought about getting up on stage with him.

The one thing we had agreed on was that we were going to stay at the apartment above the store tonight. There was too much of a risk with going back to Hell’s Kitchen after being at the club all night. I could hear the tiny scratches on the floor above me. It was a sign that my four legged protector was above me. I knew Daddy wasn’t entirely sure about having him there, but I told him I needed Leo.

It was the truth, too. Leo was a comfort for me. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Daddy to take care of me, it was that I couldn’t bear to leave Leo behind. I didn’t want him to think he was being replaced. Leo’s bed was still my bed. And we were inseparable. Daddy secretly loved it. I couldn’t help but giggle when he tried to sound annoyed when Leo and I were in bed together.

Standing in the empty shop, I took another breath before I felt strong arms wrap around my waist. I knew that this outfit was going to be dangerous. I knew that Daddy was going to have a hard time keeping his hands to himself. But I didn’t mind. I liked the idea of Daddy losing control in front of people, even if I knew it wasn’t going to happen.

Leaning back against his chest, I let out a little giggle.^ We need to get over to the club. There is still a lot that we need to handle, and I need to have a talk with Sydney before we go any farther.

Myrick: -I think me choosing the outfit that Cay was wearing tonight had been an exercise in self-torture. I was going to have to struggle to keep my hands off her tonight, and I was probably going to fail. I could only hope she was going to forgive me for it, even if there were a few lines I wouldn’t cross in front of the people who were going to be in the club tonight.

I had to admit, the club intimidated me a little bit. I’d been in it a few times while it was closed, but never while it was open, much less on a BDSM theme night. I couldn’t say that I’d even been to a club like this one in years, not since I’d been forcefully dragged to them back in college. I was nervous, but I was going to do my best to keep it on lock and hide it from my Little Girl.

I always wanted to keep my girl to myself, but I knew that wasn’t a possibility tonight. I just needed to steal a moment with her before everything began. I moved her around to face me and my hands slipped more tightly around her as I nearly lifted her off the ground to plant another kiss on her lips. I was being selfish, but I wanted to be that way for just another minute.- I know. I know. The club is waiting, I just wanted to steal you for a second or so. -grinning against her lips as I let her down to her feet.

I knew we had a role to play here tonight. We may not be the owners of the club, but we were the hosts of everything that was going to happen. I wasn’t going to dump it all on her shoulders either. She had enough to worry about. I could at least help her out to the best of my abilities, whatever that meant. I stole another kiss, this time off the tip of her nose before I loosened my grip on her waist, moving to thread my fingers between hers instead.- Alright, you don’t have to worry about me tonight, Baby Love. I hope you know that. I’m here to help you.

Cay: ^I wanted to stay wrapped up in his arms. And I wanted to turn around and go back to our condo. But the truth was that this was something we needed to get through. We didn’t go back on our word. But the truth was that I was going to steal some time with Daddy throughout the night. It was one of the things I wanted to talk to Sydney about. But I still had to be in control.

I couldn’t help but let out a giggle as I curled into Daddy’s arms. He wasn’t dressed in his normal clothing. Most of it was him, though. Dark blue tee shirt with dark jeans and a pair of low top Converse sneakers. But what threw me for a loop was the leather jacket. I had known that he had one. But part of me wondered if he knew the way the leather jacket bothered me.

The leather jacket and Trinity was a little too much. But I didn’t want to say anything. I liked the way that Daddy looked. He was relaxed. It wasn’t a look he wore too often. I felt myself shiver as I took in his outfit, though. I knew that we were both tempting the other tonight. But there was still so much I wanted to fill Daddy in on.^ Since I’m pregnant, I won’t be drinking tonight. If you feel up to drinking, go for it. And let me know if you need anything. Since it’ll be a busy night, I asked Mellie if she could have Syd working the bar. Her and I don’t actually talk when we’re in the club together. We tend to use sign language. Just because it’s easier for the two of us. And not many people understand what we’re saying.

Myrick:  -I didn’t want to let her out of my arms, but I knew it needed to happen. The best thing I could think to do was link her hand with mine as I let her out of my arms. I wasn’t going to let go of her hand until I had to, but I knew the time was going to come at some point tonight. She had a lot to do, and I intended to make myself as useful as I possibly could throughout the night.

It was half the reason I’d dressed the way I did. I needed to look presentable, but I also needed to be comfortable if I was going to work. I was glad Sydney was going to be behind the bar. I hadn’t seen her work, but I had met her a few times, and from what I knew about her, she was more than capable. Cay was going to need as many good hands as she could get tonight. I was just hoping I wasn’t going to get in the way.

Drinking was the last thing on my mind tonight. I rarely drank, mostly because I didn’t like to feel like I wasn’t in control of myself. Maybe that was a sign of me having control issues. That was something I wasn’t entirely certain I would be able to deny if someone said something about it. I did have a need to be in control, especially of myself. Maybe it was because I’d spent too long under the control of my parents, and too long letting someone else make decisions for me. I just wanted to be the one that was making all the right decisions for myself.

Tonight. I needed to be there for her, and I needed my wits about me to do it in a place I wasn’t at all familiar with. I brought her hand to my lips and pressed a soft kiss on the outside of it while I let her lead me out to the doors that lead into the club.- Well, you’ll just have to teach me some sign language, then. -I chuckled as we emerged onto the floor. The night hadn’t begun yet, but there were already more than a few people around the club, mostly employees getting ready for the night. I recognized Sydney behind the bar and a few of the other faces around the room.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled her into my arms one more time to take another kiss before I let her get to work. Watching her without being able to pull her into our bedroom for most of the night was probably going to be one of the hardest things I managed to do for a long time-

Cay: ^This was different from the last time Mellie and Cass had done a BDSM night. Last time, it was just what they assumed needed to be done. But I had done some work with tonight. There was the center stage, of course. It was the stage that normally housed a DJ. But tonight it was going to be the performance center. I had scheduled a few Doms to come in with their subs to scene. Daddy and I had a chunk of time towards the middle of the night.

I had wanted to have it close out the night, but one look from Daddy made me change my idea. His biggest concern was me and the baby. And I knew he was going to order me upstairs with Leo the moment I got tired. I was going to object. I was going to do everything in my power to stay in the club. I couldn’t let him take this night away from me.

But I also knew that I was going to be in a room full of Dominants. And the moment I showed any form of defiance, I was going to get punished. It was what was expected in our lifestyle. I wasn’t sure how well a fight was going to go down tonight. And the one thing I could not stand in our branch of the BDSM world was a brat. It was something I couldn’t bring myself to be.

I couldn’t bring myself to openly defy Daddy or throw a fit when he told me no. It felt like I was slapping him in the face. It didn’t look good. And, to me, it felt like brats were people that didn’t understand the lifestyle. But I was new to the Daddy/Little way of life. What did I know?

Shaking my head free of the cobwebs, I took a breath. There was so much to get done, but Mellie had done a good job of scheduling the best people for the job. Keeping my hand in Daddy’s, I pulled him to the bar with me. I wanted to show him how things operated.^ Sydney is great. She keeps bottled water on hand for me, and a marker. I’ll put my initials on it and just set it over on the other side of the bar. If I come back for it, she knows to give it to me. Syd has been charged with protecting me from the minute I walk into the bar until the moment I leave. And she’ll be your best ally when you’re trying to tell me to go back to the apartment and keep Leo company. Because I know you’re going to send me back there before the night is through.

Myrick: -I reached my hand back and landed a gentle swat on Cay’s bottom when she let my hand go and started telling me she knew I was going to send her back to the apartment. I had every plan to let her be down here as long as I thought was good for her, but I was going to send her back if I thought she was wearing herself out. And I knew that Cass would have my back on that decision.

I moved my free hand to wave hello to Sydney who I’d met a few times before. I was glad to at least have her on  my side tonight. I wasn’t going to push her too hard to go back, but I didn’t think she’d fight me on it either, especially not if she was already bringing up the possibility of leaving when I told her to.

My hand moved from it’s place at the edge of her skirt to slide around her waist- Good, I’m going to need all the help I can get tonight. -chuckling as I used the gentle grip to tug her closer into my side- Now, just tell me whatever it is you need me to do tonight, and I’m at your disposal.

-I leaned over to press a kiss to the crown of her head. I was being more than a little possessive tonight as the club started to fill up with guests for tonight’s event. I was also nervous about the presentation she and I were going to give later on in the evening, but that could go on the back burner until I actually had to get on the stage.

In a room full of Dom’s and subs, the one thing I wanted to do tonight was let everyone who looked at Cay know she was mine. The collar should have theoretically been enough to do that, but I wasn’t going to be able to have my hands off her unless something was making it necessary for the two of us to be apart tonight.-

Cay: ^My lips curved into a wicked grin as Daddy asked what he needed to do tonight. The truth was I just needed him to be mine. I needed to be able to have someone that wanted me. I wanted to be his Little Girl. It was a title that made me proud. Him wanting me made me proud. But I knew what we were getting into tonight.

I knew there were going to be people in and out of the club. I also knew there was going to be as many sexual acts as you could imagine. And I had no idea how Daddy was going to react to it. But with the doors barely opening, I could see a change in him. He was more possessive. He wanted everyone to know that I was his. And I was completely fine with that.

Spinning around so that I was facing Daddy, I could only wrap my arms around his neck and gently press my lips to his. I could feel that he was a little wound up, though. But this was his first time experiencing any of this. He had never been to Trinity when the club was open. And I needed him to relax. I stood on my toes as I brought Daddy’s ear to my lips.^ I need you to relax a little and enjoy this. And tell me if I’m overstepping my bounds.

^I didn’t give him a chance to answer before I was down on my knees. I didn’t stop as I worked the button and zipper of his jeans open. My lips were quickly wrapped around his cock as I let out a soft whimper. This wasn’t something I had ever done. I hadn’t been on my knees in front of Daddy in the entire time that I had known him. It was just that we had gone from being together to preparing for Watson. Being on my knees was something I enjoyed. But with Daddy, things had gone haywire.

The only thing I wanted to do right now was move along his length. Pulling him further into my mouth as I tried to keep myself from wiggling around. I wanted to get off. I wanted to play with myself while doing this. But I knew better than to do that. I was in a room full of dominants, and I couldn’t just break rules as I saw fit.^

Myrick: -my eyes went wide as she went down on her knees. I had to admit I was surprised, but tonight was different than anything either of us had done together since we’d met. Cay had told me to tell her if she was overstepping her bounds, but I wasn’t going to stop her on this one.

If what she’d told me was the way things were going to go tonight, then this was going to be tame compared to most of it, and I could tell from the noises she was making and the way she was trying to stop herself from moving that she was enjoying it. I knew I was, even if I was mildly self-conscious about the room around us. It was only when I saw that we attracted next to no attention in the few moments after she dropped to her knees that I relaxed and let go of the hang ups that I’d managed to hold on to from my upbringing.

The club was slowly filling up with guests, and there were a few faces I recognized from around the shop milling around or entering the room. I knew it was at least partly my job to welcome people into the club, and with Cay on her knees I was taking that part over for her for at least the time being. I took a deep breath, trying to focus on the room around me and get myself together as people started arriving and things began to get going. I rested one head on Cay’s head, controlling her motions only a little, as I allowed her mostly free reign over what she was doing while I tried to think about what I was supposed to focus on. In all honesty, it was a struggle, but I was trying.

My eyes closed and I took a deep breath to center myself, fingers twisting slightly in her hair to pull her in closer. If we were alone, I would have done far worse than that, but the people filling the club kept me from letting go completely.-

Cay: ^I felt myself purr as Daddy pulled me closer. I could feel myself start to choke, but it was a feeling I craved. There was more to it than just this, but I knew getting him to go any further was going to be a miracle. Even for him to do this, there was a lot of trust. Daddy didn’t let go like this. It took a lot for him to get out of his head. But I knew the truth. I hadn’t given him the chance to get lost in his head.

And the truth was that I didn’t want him to get lost in his head. I didn’t want him to overthink tonight. If it lead to a discussion, then we would talk. But for now all I could do was focus on what he was feeling. Pulling back on his length, I let my tongue wrap around the tip before going back down his cock. I knew how to work my Daddy up. I knew how to get him to the brink.

He knew how to do the exact same thing to me, too. He knew what I wanted. And I knew it was going to be something that I wasn’t going to get until the end of the evening. If I even got it tonight. The whimper was through my lips as I felt my legs shift together. I was at Daddy’s mercy. And orgasming was a reward for me. If I was a good girl, maybe I could at the end of the night.^

Wes: -my fingers threaded between Lindsay’s as I led her into the club. It was my first time actually coming inside no matter how many times I’d passed it before. I’d been in my share of clubs over the years so I knew what to expect, but I wasn’t certain my Rose did. I was already feeling possessive of her as we walked into the room. I was fairly certain anything else that happened tonight was going to heighten that impulse.

I didn’t recognize anyone in the room at first, but I’d only made a quick scan and the club was quickly beginning to fill up for the nights event. I brought Lindsay into my side and pressed a kiss to her forehead-

Why don’t we go get you something to drink and see what we can find around here, Rose?

-she nodded, looking a little wide eyed at the club around her as I guided her over to the bar only to see the only two people I expected to know at the club. Cay on her knees in front of her Daddy looking like she was having a fantastic time already tonight.- Well, Myrick… Cay. I believe I have someone to introduce you to if you’re not too distracted. -I couldn’t stop the soft chuckle that bubbled out of my chest-

Lindsay: ^I had wanted to be shocked by what was going on around us. But I knew the truth. This was what we were in for. Even when I had first gotten together with Sir, we didn’t go to the club he belonged to often. It was as if he knew I wasn’t sure in my place beside him when I was so new to everything.

But this was different. Us going out to a club together made me feel like the only place I belonged was beside him. And there had been a lot of talk of where I was supposed to be tonight. The rules were simple. I was to stay as close to him as possible. And tonight was not about being his little girl. Yes, I was in the middle of recording an album, but we were out in public. I only ever referred to him as Daddy while we were alone and at home. I had to be extremely exhausted to call him Daddy outside of our place.

It was the best roles for both of us tonight. I was very secure in being his Rose. It was easy for me to slip into being that for him. But neither of us was ready to be Daddy and Little Girl for the world. Tonight was simply about being his Rose. And the collar Sir had chosen for me was the perfect reminder of what I needed to be. The dark leather was embossed perfectly with golden roses. Something to remind me who I was, and it was a symbol to the other Doms in the room that I was very much taken.

I was taken aback as Sir walked up to a couple in the middle of enjoying their time together. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but the name Cay registered in the back of my mind. She was the girl that ran the shop Sir had been getting all of our supplies from. And it was in that moment that I felt the embarrassment wash over me. It wasn’t about seeing Cay on her knees in front of a man I could only assume was her Daddy. It was about knowing that I thought she was coming between me and Sir.

My cheeks flushed red as I noticed, and remembered, the man Cay was kneeling in front of. The day I stormed into the recording studio. The man that had been on his way into the shop with a bag of food. The man that asked if I needed help with anything. It had truly been one huge misunderstanding that got us to this point. And my voice was small as I leaned into my Sir.^ I think I am back to owing you an apology for the first track recorded.

Myrick: -The voices sounded familiar, but it took a moment for me to get my focus back to what was going on at the club, even though I knew I should have been giving it my full attention. My Baby Love was being more than a little distracting at the moment, however. I’d seen the man who was saying hello in the shop more than once. He’d come in and placed a several orders with Cay on stocking up a playroom in the place he’d just moved to, but I’d never seen the young woman who was tucked into his side before.

His name escaped me for the moment, and I felt a little pang of guilt for not remembering, even if I did have a bit of an excuse. My fingers splayed out across the top of Cay’s head as I smiled a little sheepishly- Hello. Nice to see you again.

-glancing down at Cay as she looked up at me and I let out a soft groan, fingers tightening their grip on her hair. She would know I was close, though I knew she owed the people who were joining us her attention. I was only asking for a moment more.

My eyes drifted closed for just a second when I pulled her in close, gagging her gently as I pushed into her throat just enough to send me past the edge and let my cock throb and pump my seed into her throat.

I could have been embarrassed about it in a club full of other people, but to be honest, I couldn’t feel strange about enjoying even that brief a moment with her. She was going to have to wait for her half of it though, as torturous as that might be for her. Cay had work to do, and her reward at the end of it was going to be something would hopefully be craving by the time the night was through.-

Cay: ^I couldn’t hide my smile as I swallowed what I had been given. There was so much to say about the fact that Daddy actually let me do that with people around. I knew he wanted to be embarrassed. But the truth was that he had nothing to be embarrassed about tonight. Not here. I wanted to say more, but I knew Daddy was struggling with being a host.

As soon as I had Daddy tucked back up, I slowly moved from my knees to a standing position. I had heard the greeting from Mr. Francis, but I also knew that Daddy didn’t know him the way that I did. As much as Daddy helped me run things in the shop, I was still the person everyone dealt with.

Turning towards him, I was stunned to see a woman with long strawberry blond locks at his side. And it seemed as though she was just as stunned to see me. I wanted to apologize for the way they had found us, but I couldn’t bring myself to be sorry for giving my Daddy a moment of peace.

My voice was higher than normal as I looked from Mr. Francis and his Rose to Daddy.^ Mr. Wesley Francis, Daddy. He was the one who got me lunch the day you had a meeting and Cass left me to my own devices. He knows about Watson. He took care of me in a very Daddyish way. But he still wasn’t you.

^Turning my attention back to Mr. Francis, I gave him a smile.^ No offence, Mr. Francis. You did an amazing job as a substitute, but you’re no match for my Daddy. ^But it was then that I noticed the far away look in the blond’s eyes. It was almost as if she didn’t understand all of what was going on around her between me and Mr. Francis.^ I’m Cay. You must be Mr. Francis’ Rose. He talks about you all the time when he comes into the shop! I’m glad the two of you could come out to the club tonight. ^Using my thumb, I pointed over my shoulder at Daddy.^ He’s Myrick Baines. I call him Daddy, though. So I tend to forget he actually has a real name.

Lindsay: ^There was something about the girl in front of me. She knew what Sir called me. So that was proof that I had gotten the wrong impression of her when I went into a jealous fit. And it was just as obvious that she was completely devoted to her Daddy.

But I could only press myself deeper into Sir’s side as I tried to get everything to come together in my head. I didn’t want to have a panic attack, so I needed to get everything under control. I knew that my behavior in response to the girl in front of me made me freak out, but as I saw how wrong I was about the situation, I could feel myself losing a little bit of control.

But it was the feeling of tiny hands on my wrist that made me gasp. The small circles going  over my pulse was quickly making the panic fall to the wayside. I could focus on everything around me other than the mistakes I had made. Nodding my head at the girl in front of me, I felt her fingers uncoil from around my wrists.^ Thank you. I was a little lost for a second. Yes, I am Sir’s Rose. But everyone else calls me Lindsay.

Wes : -I could feel Lindsay try to curl deep into my side as she got the full picture of Cay. The girl was bubbly and energetic and obviously head over heels in love with her Daddy. It was clear from the minute you laid eyes on either of them that they shared the same feeling for each other. It wasn’t my intention to make her feel guilty, and I felt bad for not preparing her better as she drew in closer, my hand resting gently on the curve of her back to soothe her.

But it turned out to be a little unnecessary when Cay just kind of hopped into her space and took her wrists in her hands. She was clearly thrilled to meet the person I’d told her about during the times I’d been into the shop, especially the last one where I’d taken care of her as she liked to put it. I’d just done what I would have wanted someone else to do for my Rose if she was in the same position, but she was right. I wasn’t going to be like her Daddy. I didn’t think anyone ever would be for Cay. Myrick was it for her, and if I could judge from the ring on her finger, he was of the same mind.

The way she introduced him was enough to break the ice for anyone. It was actually adorable, and I could feel the tension melt out of Lindsay’s frame as she warmed up to the girl standing in front of her. It was enough to disarm any of us, but I was especially glad she’d decided to greet Lindsay the way she did.

I couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped my chest as she nearly bounced in front of both of us before I leaned in to whisper to Lindsay- You don’t have anything to apologize for. I realize what it must have looked like, and you recorded one of the best tracks of the record because of it. Just remember that I love you, Rose.

-Straightening up, and giving my tie a gentle tug to adjust it back into place as I smiled at both of them- Well, it always good to see you both. I see things are already picking up, and we can expect to hear more out of the two of you later tonight. -I’d noticed their names on the list of presenters for the evening and I was looking forward to seeing what the two of them had planned-

Myrick: -I could only grin a little sheepishly and run my fingers through my hair as I turned to face the couple who had just joined us. I recognized Mr. Francis from the shop when he had been coming in for a few weeks to order things for his new place here in the city. That was more Cay’s cup of tea, but I paid attention to what was going on. I’d heard him talk about his Rose a few times, and I’d have probably known this was her without the introduction. It was good to see Cay greet her so warmly. I hoped the two of them would maybe get to know each other better.

When Mr. Francis mentioned the two of us going on stage later I let out a soft chuckle- I can’t promise anything special, Mr. Francis. Baby Love is going to do a whole lot better than I am at this, but I’ll be there for backup if I’m not good for much else. It’s good to see the two of you out tonight.

-The room was close to packed and the scenes were beginning to start in the center of the club on the main stage. Things were getting ramped up, and I could see the girl curled into his side was looking as wide eyed as I felt.-

Cay: ^I didn’t often invite people to the club as my personal guests. But Lindsay and Mr. Francis were definitely my guests tonight. And as much as Daddy and I were the hosts tonight, I knew that he wouldn’t mind playing personal host to Lindsay and Mr. Francis. This place was a lot to take in if you weren’t used to it.

Loping an arm through Lindsay’s, I tug her up towards the VIP section. It overlooked the entire club, and held Mellie’s office. It was the one place I had given strict orders on. This was going to be my personal area. Only those I brought up here were allowed in. And that was only going to be Daddy, Lindsay, and Mr. Francis. Security to the area knew the rules. It was something I had made sure to go over with them about a million times.

That was the only way Daddy was going to let me have my way tonight. I needed to have a place that was safe for all of us. It was a spot where I didn’t have to hide any problems I was having with the baby. It was a space for only those that knew he existed. And I obviously couldn’t stop Mellie or Cass from coming up here. It was their club. But it was a place I wanted for those I considered family.^

My bosses own this place and the playshop next to it. They’re head over heels in love with each other. And whatever Cass wants, Mellie delivers on. And Cass wanted another BDSM theme night. The last one went decently, but they knew they could do more if I was running it. Daddy put down some rules about it. I have to be able to take breaks, and not stand all night. I can’t be stressed out because stress isn’t good for him.

^I rolled my eyes as we all took a seat in the lounge. It wasn’t as noisy up here. Most nights, there was a second DJ just for this area. But I didn’t want the noise. I just wanted a place to get away. I didn’t stop myself from curling up as close to my Daddy as I possibly could.^ I know. It’s a lot. And you look as wide eyed as Daddy. Because he’d much rather be back in Hell’s Kitchen with our dog laying in bed watching TV. Isn’t that right, Daddy?

Myrick: -I chuckled as Cay molded herself into my side, pulling her closer when I wound an arm around her waist and used the leverage to tug her in. I was glad she’d set up this place as sort of a get away from the rest of what was going on, and I was also glad she’d decided to invite Lindsay and Wesley up here along with the two of us. She needed a happy place, and I welcomed more eyes to keep a look out for her if things became too much. I didn’t mind them keeping the pair of us company for the rest of the night at all.

Cay was right about where I’d rather be, though. She knew me well enough to know that I preferred quiet nights at home with her to anything else.- Of course I would, but at least I’m here with you. There was no way you were doing this without me tonight, Baby Love. And as far as me being wide eyed… Well, I can’t hide that. You know things around here a little new for me, too. I can only assume they’re new for you too, Lindsay.

-I nodded towards the younger woman, trying to make my smile welcoming as possible.- At least we can be here for each other, all four of us. As far as she goes… -I leaned in to kiss Cay on the forehead- I’m all about whatever is best for her and him. -my hand strayed lightly over her stomach for a moment.-

Lindsay: ^It was refreshing to be around Cay and her Daddy. There was something about the two of them that made things just a little bit easier for me. But I think it was more so her Daddy. Him and I seemed to have the same personality. Both of us just wanted to be home with the other. But I knew why Sir wanted to bring me out.

He wanted me to be comfortable in the city. He didn’t want me to be alone anymore. It was because he cared about me. And he knew that after this album, I wasn’t going to have much to do in the way of anything. I was going to be stuck in the house. But he seemed to think that I could be friends with Cay. It was something I wanted to give him. I wanted him to see that I was making an effort.

Clearing my throat, I let my eyes fall on Mr. Baines. The way he cared about her. And it wasn’t just her. His thoughts never strayed far from the child she was carrying. It was as if the two of them were the most important things in the world to him. It was something I almost craved. But I knew Sir and I weren’t ready to take that step. We had just decided to move into a bedroom together. And I had thrown together a very hasty engagement. I wasn’t even sure it held up. But I wanted what Cay and Mr. Baines had.

My words were soft as I tried to hide the desire in my voice. I didn’t want to scare Sir off. I couldn’t afford to scare him off. Not after everything we had been through.^ It’s nice to see that there is someone in the world like me, Mr. Baines. I’d much rather be home, curled up in my bed. This album is going to be the death of me, I’m sure.

Wes: -I heard something in Lindsay’s voice though I couldn’t quite place it. It piqued my interest at least, and I logged it away in my thoughts as something to figure out about her later. I always enjoyed finding out new things about my Rose, even as long as I’d known her. Maybe tonight was a chance to get to know more about her. Being in a new place tended to bring out things in the both of us that perhaps we might not show when it was just the two of us.

The pair across from us were as cute together as I always remembered them being, and the care he had for her and the baby was good to see. I was just enjoying the warmth of Rose tucked into my side and the company of two of the few people I’d met in New York that I could say I actually enjoyed spending time with.

I leaned over to kiss Lindsay on the temple and murmur close to her ear- I certainly hope it’s not going to be. I can think of much more pleasant ways to go. -letting out a soft chuckle as I straightened up and replied to Myrick and Cay- It seems like we’ve met our matches haven’t we, Cay?

Cay: ^I could only grin over at Mr. Francis as he commented about our matches. And he was right. There wasn’t a man in the world that was better for me than the man I was wrapped around. My Daddy was absolutely everything to me. And there was nothing that was going to stop me from making him happy.

But the alarm on my phone reminded me of the one thing he was dreading. We had about twenty minutes until we were supposed to walk on stage. It was something he wasn’t exactly looking forward to. He didn’t want people to see me the way he saw me. The possessive Daddy could come out to play when the time called for it, and tonight called for it. My eyes scanned the floor before I caught sight of the two women who owned the club. It was a small surprise that they were here, but it meant that Daddy and I could leave when the time called for it.

Stealing a kiss from Daddy’s lips, I let out a soft giggle.^ I know. You don’t want to do this. But the faster we do this, the sooner we get off the stage. And then we can come back up here and enjoy the rest of the night with Mr. Francis and Lindsay. I promise to make it worth your night.

^The roll of Daddy’s eyes said everything. He wanted this over as much as I did. There was no prep work to be done, for which I was grateful. Giving Lindsay a smile, I shrugged my shoulder.^ Daddy and I have to do a scene. But we’re different then everyone else. Information session about a Daddy and Little relationship. You two are more than welcome to stay up here. Or you can head down to the main floor to watch us. I mean, I’d love it if the two of you did watch. It’ll give us a couple of nice faces in the crowd.

^I didn’t say more as I stood and started tugging on Daddy’s hand. I didn’t want their decision to be forced in any way. If Lindsay felt more secure up here, I wasn’t going to force her to listen to me and Daddy. But a part of me hoped she decided to come watch.^

Lindsay: ^There was something about what Cay was trying to tell me. And I knew she knew what I was. That fine line between being a little and not. She was a full blown little as far as I could tell. And she was devoted. But she was right. I had the option to watch or not. But it was a decision I had to make with Sir.

There was still so much to our relationship that was a jumbled mess. Even if we had been working on it for a year, Sir was not naturally a Daddy. It didn’t work for him, even if it was something I needed. And there was a part of me that hated what I was doing to him. But there was only so much I could do. I wanted to learn more, though.

I wanted to watch Cay and Mr. Baines up on the stage. I wanted to hear what the two of them had to say. And I knew that getting back up into VIP wasn’t going to be a problem. Security had seen us up here with Cay and Mr. Baines already. I was sure that Sir and I could come back up if it got to be too much.

But I couldn’t deny myself this opportunity. I had to make a move for me. Biting down on my bottom lip, I turned my attention back to the man that had done everything for me. The man that had given me everything.^ Can we go down and watch them?

Wes: -I smiled indulgently down at the young woman tucked into my side, moving my thumb across her lower lip to free it from her teeth. I watched for a moment as the color returned to it, growing more deeply red after the pressure that the bite had put down on it. Tonight, I was going to give her whatever it was that made her happy, and if going downstairs to see those two on the stage was what did that, then she and I could make that quick trip to view it all. We could leave or come back up here if it got to be too much for her. I wasn’t certain how large the crowd downstairs had grown in the time we’d been up here, but hopefully it wouldn’t be too much to deal with.-

Then let’s go back downstairs, get a couple of drinks and see if we can find somewhere to watch from. I’m sure they’d love to have someone they knew watching instead of just a sea of strangers anyhow.

-I reached down, lacing my fingers between hers to lead her down the stairs. I knew why she was interested in the talk. She was a Little, even if I was less of a Daddy than she might have wanted me to be. Cay was 100 percent a Little every day, and Myrick was excellent at giving her the nurturing side of a Daddy that she seemed to need. It was something that both of us could stand to pay attention to.-

Lindsay: ^The short walk down the stairs was nerve wracking. There was a larger crowd around the stage. More people were willing to watch Cay and Mr. Baines talk about their relationship. And it was still something that terrified me. I didn’t know what I was going to get out of it.

But the truth was I was captivated by the man that was Cay’s Daddy. The way he looked at her was everything. And they were both right as they talked about their roles. It wasn’t about having someone to call Daddy. It was about someone to put your needs ahead of theirs. It was about someone understanding what you needed and when you needed it.

It made the questions swirl in my head. There was so much I wanted to do. There were a million questions I wanted to ask. But I wasn’t sure how to do it. And the thing that probably scared me the most was the sudden desire to have Mr. Baines be my Daddy. It wasn’t something sexual. Well, not nearly as sexual as it was with Sir. But there was something about him that was calling to me.

It wasn’t a feeling I had ever felt with anyone other than my Sir. But I knew the truth about Sir. Nothing could change the way I felt about him. But there was a part of me that wanted to explore something with Mr. Baines. But I also didn’t know how Cay would react to it. It was something that was terrifying. I was going to be taking a huge risk just by asking for this. And I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I didn’t know what reaction I was going to get from anyone.

I couldn’t stand around and listen to them talk anymore, though. Placing my hand on Sir’s wrist, I started walking back to the VIP area. There was no hesitation as we started back up the stairs into our own little world. I took a breath before I just let the words tumble from my lips. I couldn’t let myself think on them. They’d never come out if I thought about them. I’d send myself into a panic.^ I love you. And nothing can ever change that. But I need you to ask Cay and Mr. Baines if I can have Mr. Baines tonight. As a Daddy. If you’re okay with it.

Wes: -I hadn’t expected the words that came out of my Rose’s mouth, but they weren’t exactly a surprise either. I’d heard that hint of something in her voice since she really met the two of them. I realized now it was the part of her that was very much a Little responding to the part of him that was very much a Daddy. We had moments, especially when she was in the studio where she called me Daddy, but we both knew it was something I struggled with being for her. I struggled with being as nurturing as a Daddy probably ought to have been. Being Dominant wasn’t ever a problem, but there was something about the other part that I fell short on at times. I couldn’t blame her for seeing that naturally in Myrick or for wanting it for herself.-

I love you too, Rose. -I leaned down to take another soft kiss from her lips- And it’s something I’m ok with, but it’s also something we’d have to discuss beforehand I think. I don’t know what their response is going to be.

- I took in a deep breath, threading my fingers between hers and pulling her closer. I felt stupid for letting this make me feel even a little insecure, but it was a part of me that had found its way into our relationship since the two of us had gotten together. I had no problem with Lindsay finding something she needed in another person. I wasn’t selfish enough to think that I had everything that anyone, especially Lindsay, needed all wrapped up in one package.- I just need us both to know that nothing is going to change the way either of us feel about each other, whatever happens. I hope you know that.

-I made sure to catch Lindsay’s eyes with mine as my hand cupped her chin and tilted her face up to meet mine. I needed her to look in my eyes and know that I meant everything I said.-

Lindsay: ^I could feel the desire to panic. This wasn’t something I was entirely sure about. And I knew that it was going to bring out the insecurities in both of us. We were both afraid of not being enough for the other. But this was something I needed. It wasn’t about Sir being a Daddy. I needed to give him a break from being something he wasn’t. Even if it was just for a night.

But he was right. I let my blue eyes fall on his brown ones as he held my gaze. It wasn’t something I usually did when I was wearing a collar, but I knew he needed to know this. He needed to know that I was serious. And that it wasn’t because of something he did. It was because I was putting myself ahead of what everyone else around me needed.^ I love you. And now that those words are out, I’m not afraid to say them. But at the same time, I need to try something else. I don’t want to put you in a spot that you can’t be in. And I know that being a Daddy is hard for you. It’s not who you are naturally. And I think for one night, I want to see if that’s something I absolutely need. At the very least, I want to talk to them about it. Because if Cay can’t handle it, or if Mr. Baines doesn’t want to do it, it doesn’t matter.

^I could feel my eyes begin to widen as I looked around the room. But it got a little worse when they landed on Cay and Mr. Baines. I suddenly wasn’t sure I could do this. And that was what terrified me. Ever since I had moved into Sir’s room, the one thing we had relied on had been communication. We had to talk to each other. There was no way we could hide anything. But I wasn’t sure what the reaction from either of the other two was going to be. I didn’t know how to control the situation.^

Myrick -Cay and I finished up our talk before I really had time to fully register what was going on. I simply had to zone out and let things take the course that the two of us had planned out ahead of time instead of taking time to be nervous and second-guess everything. It must have gone well, because we had to wade our way through a slog of people with comments and congratulations before we could get back to the stairs and find our way back to the VIP section. I’d seen Lindsay and Wesley in the crowd watching when the entire thing began, but before it ended they’d gone back up the stairs to wait for us here.

I had the feeling we’d interrupted something from the look on Lindsay’s face when we came into the room, but when she looked away I could see this expression on her face that betrayed more than that, almost like she was scared of something. I kept my grip on Cay’s hand but walked more fully into the room, making our way closer to the other couple.- Sorry if we interrupted anything, but is everything ok?

-My instinct was to focus my attention onto Lindsay just to make sure she was alright, but I wasn’t going to do anything to make her uncomfortable either. I just wanted to make sure there was nothing going on that I could fix. I had no idea what could have happened to make her look that terrified in the short time since Cay and I had walked down to begin our talk out on the stage.-

Wesley: -If Myrick hadn’t asked what was wrong, I wasn’t entirely certain I was going to be able to ask the question that Lindsay had requested of me. I knew it wasn’t going to be her question to ask. I’d known that from the moment she brought up the topic. I barely believed she’d worked up the courage to ask me about it. It just showed how much she trusted me that she felt safe enough to even bring it up. I respected that, and understood what she needed enough to make sure that I got myself together enough to ask what she needed me to. I just had no idea how to bring it up with the couple standing in front of me, but I wasn’t going to be able to avoid it. I knew the best way to get through with it all was to just let it out.-

So, we have something to discuss with the two of you. And you’re under no obligation to agree to it or anything like that. It was just an idea. -I groaned and rubbed a hand over my face, a little frustrated with my own inability to just say what I was thinking- Lindsay saw the two of you on stage. I’m sure you both know she’s a Little. She wanted to know if it was alright with the two of you if she spent some time working with Myrick tonight. -I pulled Lindsay into my side and wrapped an arm around her, trying to reassure her as much as I could. I knew this was working on her nerves until the two of them replied.-

It’s perfectly fine if either of you don’t want to do that. I was just telling her it’s alright with me when the two of you walked in. I’m fairly new to being a Daddy, and I’ve struggled with that side of myself for awhile. I just think she needs something more than I can give her sometimes, if any of that makes sense. -I was terrified that none of it made sense. My mouth got the better of me when I was nervous about something. Luckily it was rare enough that it wasn’t usually an issue. Tonight it was going to be an issue. At least until our two young friends said something. Not that I was giving them much of a chance to answer until I stopped to take a breath.-

Cay: ^I had never seen this side of Mr. Francis. But I understood what was going on. I knew why they were both so nervous. And I knew why Lindsay looked like she was was about to pass out. It wasn’t easy to ask someone to use their dom. It was even more nerve wracking when it was more than just a Dom/sub relationship. All I could do was turn to my Daddy. In all honesty, it was his choice. I wasn’t going to tell him no if this was something that he wanted to do.^ I’m yours, Daddy. If you want to give this to Lindsay, you’re more than welcome to.

^Turning my attention to the man that held the scared woman, I tilted my head to the side. I was going to go out the window with all the rules in our world, but I needed Mr. Francis to understand that I knew where he was coming from. And I knew what it was like to not be sure of a role.^ I wasn’t a little until the moment I met my Daddy, Wesley. But for subs, it’s easier for us to slip in and out of roles. No one is expecting you to be able to do it without any kind of consequence. And I’m sure if you talk to Lindsay, she’d understand. Daddy makes the call about what he wants to do. But if your Rose feels like she’ll benefit from some time with him, I’m okay with that. I want both of you to be okay with what could happen. And I know it’s taken a lot of trust for the two of you to come to us with it.

Myrick: -I stopped what was going on for the moment to lean down and press a kiss to the lips of the woman I loved more than anything else on earth right now except maybe the baby that she carried. This wasn’t exactly the answer I’d expected her to give, but I understood it. And I trusted her enough to know that she meant what she was telling me. The two of us were going to have to trust each other for anything that happened from this point on. The ball was in my court now, though.  This was ultimately my decision since it seemed that everyone else here was on board with whatever happened.

I glanced over at Lindsay who seemed absolutely petrified. She hadn’t said a word during all of this, and I could see the terror that was washing over her features now that Wesley had worked up the courage to ask the question. I’d also heard the nerves in his voice. There was good reason for the two of them to be nervous. It took a lot of trust and courage to bring this up to the pair of us. They had no way of knowing what our answer was going to be.

The truth was that I liked Lindsay, even if I’d only met her this evening, and I liked the idea of being able to help her out in some way. I wasn’t certain I knew how to be a Daddy to anyone but my Baby Love, but I was willing to try for her.- I’m not sure how this is going to go. I’m not sure if the two of us will work with each other, but I’m open to trying it out, as long as everyone is fine with it.

-I focused my attention on Lindsay who did her best to avoid my gaze until I stepped forward and cupped her chin to make her look up into my eyes. The move could have been aggressive and dominant, but I made it as gentle as I possibly could. There was no way I was going to be able to get a read on her until she looked at me. The panic in her eyes was overbearing when I looked into them finally, and it was making her shut down. I knew she sang, and that he was her producer. I’d learned that much from Wesley’s visits to the shop and the conversations that he’d had with Cay- Talk to me Little Songbird. Tell me what you need.

Lindsay: ^I was freaking the hell out. I was losing control of everything. But the weird part was that I was making eye contact with everyone tonight. It wasn’t something I normally did with Sir. Only unless it was absolutely necessary or we were just relaxing at home. But I wasn’t used to the forced contact. It made it so I wasn’t hiding from anyone.

And Mr. Baines had a reason for asking me to tell him what I needed. In all of this, I hadn’t said a word since I asked Sir to bring this up. It was a way to make sure that this was my idea and not someone else’s. My words were soft as I felt the panic stay in my eyes.^ Sir calls me his Songbird when he needs to make a point to me. But the way you say it is different. It’s like a sweet caress in the shadow of night.

^I could see the tenor in Mr. Baines’ words, though. He wanted to be sure that this was something I wanted. He wanted to know how to make this work for me. But I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get it out properly. It was absolutely going to be a jumbled mess.^ I record music. I’ve been recording since I was in high school. And I had to grow up and be an adult at a very young age. But we discovered that when I record, I become more of a Little and less of a normal sub. And Sir isn’t good with being a Daddy. It has nothing to do with him as a Dominant. He just isn’t naturally a Daddy.

^I felt the almost icy blue shade cover my eyes as I thought about the last part of this statement. It was asking for a lot. And I wasn’t sure how much of it was going to make sense.^ I need someone who is more nurturing. Even if it’s just for a moment, I need to see if it’s something I truly need to try, or if the way Sir and I run things is fine for me. And there’s no one in the city that I know. Even if it’s only been a few hours, I trust you and your girl. I wouldn’t have asked for this if I didn’t trust you. And it’s okay for either of you to say no. I’d expect you to. Because this is a hard situation. And I’m asking for a lot. I understand that.

Myrick: -She was babbling, but at least she was talking. That was probably the best thing for her at the moment. I was a little amazed that she trusted me after only knowing me for such a short amount of time, but it was clear that she needed something and Wesley was going to struggle to give it to her. It wasn’t any downfall of his. Some people just naturally had it in them and others didn’t. It was the same way with being a dom or any other role in the BDSM world. You couldn’t force someone into something that they weren’t. Cay was right when she said that subs had it easier moving in and out of roles at times. Some Doms were good at switching from one type to another, some weren’t.

I had to admit that I was one of those that wouldn’t be good at switching. I had my moments where I knew that Cay could have done with someone more dominant. It was something we’d talked about from time to time, but she knew that I wasn’t good at stretching myself into more.

I took her hands and pulled Lindsay over to one of the couches that were in the VIP room and guided her to sit down while I sat next to her. She and I needed to talk, but I was pretty certain that I was going to agree to what they were offering. I glanced over at Cay for a moment just to make sure this was alright with her before I pulled Lindsay into my side- It’s Alright, Songbird. I know it’s asking a lot, but I’m not saying no. -I wanted to help her calm down and get comfortable, and I needed to figure out the best way to do all that without making her even more nervous than she was before.-

Let’s just talk for a minute. -I reached up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. It was red, like Cay’s but pale, nearly blonde. I admired the color of it for a moment before I moved my hand away and resting it on top of hers- So what made you think of me, Little Songbird? -I could see that icy blue of her eyes deepen a little as I asked, and I hoped that meant she was relaxing a little-

Lindsay: ^This was what I needed. This was why I had asked for Mr. Baines. There was just something about the way he was trying to get me to calm down. Focusing my nervous energy to talk about why this was what I needed.

I could feel the panic starting to leave as I relaxed with him. I knew Sir was watching, but he was a safety net. He was there to pull us out of any of us got in too deep.^ It wasn’t until your talk on stage that I realized it. I don’t want Sir to struggle in a role that he can’t fully commit to. And I know you’re as devoted to Cay as I am to Sir. But that doesn’t mean that we’re all completely fulfilled in our relationships.

^I had to take a breath as my hands started to tremble a little. The panic was gone, but that don’t mean I still wasn’t nervous. There was a lot I was risking here.^ The last thing I want is to come between you and Cay. But even from the day I was standing on the street and you asked if you could help, I knew that this could be something I needed. Someone who could understand and care without using me for a different reason.

^Turning my attention away from the man that was next to me, I felt a note of discord in my head. I hadn’t ever shared this part of my thoughts with Sir. But it truly did need to come out.^ You play my Daddy because it’s what’s best for me. But you also do it to get the best out of me in the studio. I just don’t want you to do this if it’s something you can’t really do.

Wes: -I knew what she was saying was true even if I didn’t want it to be. I was playing at being her Daddy. It was something I could hold up for short term, but not full time. I wasn’t always able to be that for her when she needed it, and I struggled at times to realize exactly what she needed. I didn’t hold it against her that she realized it.

It wasn’t that just the two of us wasn’t enough, but that things could be better with something added to it. I hoped that this was the thing that she needed, and I was good with giving it to her if that was the case.- Rose, I just want you to be happy. If this is what you need then you can have it. At the end of the day, you’re mine and I’m yours. I get it. -I smiled at her from across the room, trying my best to reassure her that I was alright with all of this. I felt a little guilty for not being able to give her what she needed, but in reality I knew that it wouldn’t have been fair to expect all of that of either of us.-

Cay: ^I could only watch as Lindsay and Daddy got comfortable talking with each other. But I knew the truth. She wasn’t going to be able to let Daddy into her head if she was concerned about her Sir listening to everything she had to say. The only thing I could think to do was to remove him from the current situation. And I knew I could give him some insight into her head.

Entwining my hand with his, I tugged him towards the hallway leading back to the club.^ She’ll benefit from you not being here. Let her open up to him. He won’t put her into a situation she can’t get out of. I know my Daddy. He’ll care for her in a similar way that he cares for me.

^Tugging on Mr. Francis’ hand, I lead him towards the bar and quickly sign to Syd that I needed my water and a scotch on the rocks. Mr. Francis was just as on edge as we all were.^ Your Rose appreciates the effort you’ve put in with her. But there’s a part of her that needs this. Even if it’s just to try it out. I go through the same thing. You’ve seen Myrick. He’s a Daddy through and through. But there are times that I crave a man who can just dominate me. Sometimes I don’t need the caring or nurturing Daddy that he is. But he struggles to give that to me. It’s not something I hold against him. And it’s something I have come to terms with. But I still want it. It’s something that I crave to this day. It doesn’t change how I feel for him, but I know what he can and cannot do. If that makes sense.

Wes: -I took the glass that the bartender put down in front of me, listening to what Cay had to say to me. She was young, as young as my Rose and maybe even more so. The two of them couldn’t have been far off in age, but she was smart. I had a few things I could learn from her, maybe from her Daddy too, even if he was years younger than me. She was right, and it did make sense. I knew Lindsay had her limitations. I’d known them probably longer than she’d known them herself. There were things she wasn’t capable of doing and probably wouldn’t ever. It didn’t change how I loved her at all. There was no reason the same couldn’t be true of me.

The things that Myrick was missing were the things I could pull off in spades, but he filled in the cracks where I couldn’t. It seemed that Lindsay and Cay were two sides of the same coin as well. I considered what was going on upstairs, how Myrick was giving Lindsay the things I couldn’t and thought that there was no reason I couldn’t offer the same thing for Cay. She could always say no, but I felt like the offer ought to be extended. I just wasn’t sure of the timing. I decided to keep it to myself for now and see how she responded to what was going on.- It makes sense, Cardinal. -I had an idea where the nickname came from, her hair was brilliantly red, and like Lindsay she was built small like a bird. I found it coming out of my lips unbidden. It seemed to fit her perfectly in my head-

I’m good with the domination. I always have been, and before Lindsay I was good with turning feelings off. She’s the only person in my life I’ve ever felt like this for, so maybe I’m a little insecure about that. But I know that there’s nothing that’s ever going to change the way I feel about her. I just have to trust that the reverse is the same, and I do. If this is the way she gets what she needs then I’m okay with it all. And I trust you guys, both of you. Even if we don’t exactly know each other all that well. I’m sure that’s going to change, at least I’d like it to. And I know he loves you, just like I know you love him.

-I took a long draught of the whiskey and shook off my nerves- I’m not regretting this, at all, Little Cardinal. I’m just all nerves. -chuckling softly to myself- You’ll all have to forgive me for that.

Cay: ^I could only smile as he called me Cardinal. I knew that it was because of my hair. It was a detail that was hard to miss. And I could only play with the thought of using him as a Sir. I wasn’t sure how long this thing with Lindsay and Daddy would play out, but I could absolutely take him up on the offer for tonight.

Daddy wouldn’t deny me even if I didn’t talk to him about it. I was giving him up for Lindsay, and if I needed Mr. Francis the same way, there was no reason to object.^ Well, why don’t we go back up to VIP and see what Daddy and Lindsay have gotten themselves into? Then we can always make a decision about where to go from here?

^I didn’t hesitate to take his hand again. But this time, I pulled it to the back of my neck. I liked the way his hands felt against my skin. And I wasn’t going to deny that I did want him. But I wasn’t sure where the need came from. For the moment, I could blame it on the pregnancy. With Mr. Francis leading me, I started back towards where our other halves were.^

Lindsay: ^It was easy to see why I was drawn to Mr. Baines. This was what I needed. Someone who didn’t see the artist. Sir was good at it when we weren’t recording. But when I was, it was a completely different story. Mr. Baines saw me as a Songbird because of my passion. Not because it could bring him something.

But I couldn’t stop my eyes from drifting to his lips as we talked. He knew what was bothering me in my relationship with Sir. And he knew there was a small window to try and fix things. And this was it.

It had been a small relief when Cay had taken Sir out of the room. I didn’t have to worry about what I was saying. I could be open and honest about what I needed without feeling like I was stifling anyone.

But I needed to kiss Mr. Baines. I wasn’t sure if it was a line I wasn’t allowed to cross, but I had to do it. I needed to feel something. It took almost no thought before I had the distance between our lips closed. Mine were soft against his. I wanted to give him the chance to back out if I was crossing a line. I didn’t want to force him into something he didn’t want to do.^

Myrick: -I was a little surprised when Lindsay leaned in and pressed her lips to mine. It wasn’t entirely unexpected, but I wasn’t certain she was ready for more than that when she finally went for it. I left the timing up to her discretion entirely. That was part of the whole deal. I wasn’t going to push or force her into doing anything. That wasn’t what she wanted or needed here. What she needed was someone to take care of her and listen to what she was saying.

We’d been talking for a little while, and when Cay took Wesley out of the room it made her a little more comfortable. At least she felt safe enough to tell me things she thought might have hurt his feelings, but in reality, it was clear she was in love with him, even if she needed to try something a little more. I had no idea where the others had gotten to, and it didn’t really matter. Cay was just as free as I was in this situation. There was no way I was going to hold her to one standard and keep myself to another. If I was able to have time with Lindsay then she was able to go and do the same with Wesley.

I threaded my fingers into Lindsay’s hair, pulling her in closer. The kiss had been tentative at first, like she wasn’t sure how I’d react, but I took the chance to deepen it, letting her know that everything that was happening was alright with me. My tongue peeking out to run a soft line across her lower lip as I pulled her in closer until she was sitting in my lap for the first time all night.-

Lindsay: ^In almost an instant, I went from sitting in my spot next to Mr. Baines to sitting in his lap. My legs spread so that I could straddle him, the soft silk moving up my thighs as I lost myself in the feel of him. I couldn’t help the soft sigh that slipped through my lips as I parted them for him.

I heard the footsteps, but I couldn’t bring myself to think about what it was. The only thing I wanted was to get lost in this feeling. But it was the soft gasp that brought me out of it. I couldn’t stop the shame from washing over me as I let my head fall, my chin rest against my chest as I thought about the consequences of being caught doing this. I couldn’t stop the whisper or shame in my voice as I whispered to the man I was currently wrapped around.^ I’m sorry. I don’t want her to be mad.

Myrick: -I shook my head, glancing over at the other two in the room before I put my attention back to the girl in my lap. Cay wasn’t upset. Maybe a little surprised, but it wasn’t a bad surprise. I knew just from the look on her face. She wouldn’t have told me she was okay with this if she wasn’t. I knew that about her. I also knew she was as much into watching and being watched as anyone out there in that club. It wasn’t something the two of us had explored much, especially not in the past couple of months, but it was something she’d told me about since the first days we’d decided to be together.

I moved to cup Lindsay’s chin and tilt her face up to look at me, locking eyes with her as I leaned in to take another kiss from her lips- Songbird, don’t worry about them. They’re not mad. Just pay attention to me, ok?

-I didn’t wait for her to reply before I claimed her lips with mine again, hands moving from her knees up her thighs as she settled her weight back into me and sliding the midnight blue of her dress up along the pale skin of her thighs.

It was easy to forget there was anyone else in the room when she was wrapped around me like this, and for the moment it was a good thing to do. I could have gotten self-conscious knowing Wesley was watching or worried unnecessarily about Cay. I knew she would have said something if it was more than she could handle. I just had to trust that she would tell me when and if it got to be too much.

Lindsay needed this. I knew from the way her breathing changed when my lips found hers again and the soft sigh that had escaped her lips when her body melted into mine for the first time.-

Cay: ^There was something completely erotic about watching Daddy focus his attention on someone else. I couldn’t stop the soft gasp that came out of me when I had walked into the lounge with Mr. Francis. I didn’t object to what was going on. At all.

It was a conversation Daddy and I had had before. Especially after the first time we were together. I was very much an exhibisionist. I loved the idea of being watched while I was being used. But there was also a part of me that was a voyeur. I enjoyed watching someone as much as I enjoyed being watched.

And I couldn’t stifle the moan that slipped out as Daddy pulled Lindsay’s focus back to him. I knew what it felt like to have those fingers sliding up my thighs. And I could only hope that Lindsay was enjoying it as much as I did.

I didn’t hesitate as I spun around to face the man that was with me. I wasn’t sure how he was going to react to seeing his girl with my Daddy, but I didn’t care. Reaching up, I let my fingers tangle into his dark hair before pulling his lips down to mine. My teeth were a little more rough than I anticipated as I bit down on Mr. Francis’ lip.^

Wes: -I’d expected what I saw as I walked back into the VIP room with Cay. Lindsay in Myrick’s lap wasn’t much of a shock. It was exactly what we’d talked about, and I hated seeing her drop her head down to her chest as she heard us behind them. Myrick was an expert at redirecting her attention, though, and he soon had her wrapped back around him. It was more of a turn on than I’d expected it to be, however. Watching the way she responded to him was amazing, and I could feel the knot that was in the pit of my stomach melt away once I knew she was enjoying herself.

What was a surprise was the way that Cay turned and pulled me into her, teeth scraping across my lip as I reached down, my fingers sliding under the tiny skirt that she’d worn into the club that evening and cupping her ass to lift her from the floor. She was much smaller than I was, so it took almost no effort to pull her up to me until her feet were no longer supporting her weight. I was acutely aware of the other two in the room, but I was also absolutely wrapped up in the girl in my arms as I settled us both into a couch at the opposite side of the room.

Pulling away, my hand went to gather the two pigtails at the base of her neck and wrench her head into the position that I wanted it. She clearly needed this just as much as my Rose needed what was going on on the other side of the room. I leaned in, running a rough line of kisses along her throat to half growl at her ear in a voice that was low enough that no one but the two of us could hear it.- You like watching, don’t you, Cardinal? I could tell that from the minute we walked in here. I’m going to make sure you watch as much of it as you can.

Lindsay: ^It was a split second. I lost focus on what was in front of me, but he made sure to pull my attention back to him. Mr Baines wanted me to get lost in him. I could feel myself needing more from him. I wanted to beg. I needed to plead. I had to have more.

Moving for another breath, I pushed my hips forward against his. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that the tiny silk thong was already ruined. I had to get him to touch me more. But I wasn’t exactly sure how to do it. I didn’t even know what I was supposed to call him.

The answer was on the tip of my tongue as I moved to gently take the bottom of his ear between my teeth. The soft growl I was met with all but confirmed that this was something we were going to do.^ More, Daddy Baines? Please?

Myrick: -I let out a soft noise when she whispered the please at my ear. It was a whisper, but there was need behind it, I recognized it at once, and my body was already responding, fingers moving further up her thighs until her dress rested around her hips to expose the silk of the panties that perfectly matched the dress she was wearing. I kept my focus there, fingers curling under the fabric to tease across the bare skin just beneath.

I could hear the change in her breathing when that happened, her head still resting in the curve of my shoulder until I moved her further back. I wanted to watch her expression as we went further. I needed to be able to read her as I explored her and gauged what she enjoyed and what she didn’t.

I trailed a light touch along the slick skin, stopping to tease a light finger tip around the nub of her clit as I looked up at her- Please what, Little Songbird? Daddy wants to know what you like.

-My voice was still soft, though I knew the other two were watching from the other side of the room. It hadn’t escaped my notice that Cay and Wesley had pulled each other onto one of the other couches. I just hoped my Baby Love was enjoying herself as much as Lindsay seemed to be.-

Wesley: -The moan that Cay let out was nothing short of breathtaking as I pulled her hair again. When I’d asked if she liked watching the only reply she could muster was a nod and another deep moan as her hips ground into mine. I knew exactly what she needed here, and I planned to give it to her. I claimed her lips with mine one more time, taking a deep kiss that ended with me dragging my teeth roughly across her lower lip before I drew myself back, landing a sharp slap across the curve of her ass that hung out of the bottom of her skirt.-

First thing, you’re going get yourself out of those panties like a good little slut and then you’re going to sit in my lap so you can see exactly what’s going on over there. I don’t want you to miss a second of what your Daddy is doing to my girl over there. -The words came out half growled and half purred as she wiggled in my lap, trying to get more friction as I instructed her exactly what to do. I was going to give her more, but I wanted her perfectly placed for the rest of the night.-

Cay: ^My ears were ringing with each word Mr Francis said. He knew what he was doing. He knew exactly which buttons to push to turn me into a needy little girl. And I was putty in his hands. But I knew there was still something I needed to do.

I knew what was going to happen, but I needed it. I craved it. As soon as I was off of Mr. Francis’ lap, I was very slowly sliding the tiny pair of panties down my legs. Keeping my eyes on Daddy and Lindsay, I bent at the hips. I knew the short skirt was hiding nothing. It barely covered my ass as I walked around, so being bent over with nothing underneath gave Mr Francis a show.

Moaning softly as he spanked me, I turned around with a tiny giggle before crawling back into his lap. My words were coated with arousal as I took his hand and placed it between my legs.^ I like watching my Daddy fuck your precious little Rose, Sir. Because why lie about where they’re going. He’s going to end up with his cock buried deep in her pussy before the night is over.

Wes: -I let Cay guide one of my hands between her thighs, my fingers teasing through her folds as I used the other to wrap gently but firmly around her throat and pull her back into me in the same instant I sat forward. I was hard as a rock from listening to her talk, and I knew she could feel it pressed against the curve of her ass with only the thin material of the slacks I was wearing between us.

My chest pressed into her back, grinding myself upwards into her as I slipped two fingers into her tight core. She was soaking wet, and if I hadn’t already known that she was turned on just from watching those two, this would have cemented it. -

My little Rose over there isn’t the only one who’s going to have a cock buried deep in their pussy, Cardinal. Don’t tell me you don’t want to get fucked while you watch them, because I’d know you were a fucking liar. This cunt is begging to get fucked.

-I was right, and she knew it. Before the end of the night she was going to be begging for it. I glanced over her shoulder at the other two across the room, the way Lindsay was moving against Myrick and grinned. I was glad she was enjoying herself, even if what was going on over there was very different than what was happening on this side of the room. The deep moan that escaped Cay’s lips was all the answer I needed as I curled my fingers inside her, thumb strumming gently across her clit.-

Lindsay: ^I could hear the moans from the other side of the room. Cay and Sir were getting as lost in each other as I was with Daddy. But it was different. And it was a difference I couldn’t focus on. I could only get lost in the man in front of me.

I let my hair fall back over my shoulder as I started to ride Daddy’s hand harder. I could feel myself getting close to orgasming. And it was the only thing I wanted in that moment. I wanted Daddy to know what it was like to feel me around him.

My nails dig into his shoulder as I tried to get a breath. The dress was beautiful, but it was restricting my breathing as I tried to get more. It was a singular focus in my head. More. I was reacting on pure instinct, though. I wasn’t sure what Myrick wanted, but I knew what I needed.^ Daddy, I need to cum. Tell me I’m allowed.

Myrick: -My hand pressed harder up into Lindsay as she ground against it. I knew she needed to get out of that dress. I could tell from the way she was breathing, and I wanted her out of it. The moans coming from Cay across the room didn’t escape me. It was just as much of a turn on to hear her enjoying herself as it was to know what I was doing to Lindsay. I just knew I needed to keep my focus on the girl in my lap and in making sure she got everything she needed.

I pulled her in closer, one hand going to slide down the zipper at the back of her dress and give her room to breathe while the other worked on making sure that she was going to cum as soon as possible- Then cum for me, Little Songbird. Cum for Daddy and then you can have a reward for letting Daddy make you moan.

-I slid a pair of fingers deep inside her, working them gingerly to drag every sigh and moan from her lips that I was able to.- Be a good little girl for Daddy, Songbird.

Cay: ^I knew what the sounds were from across the room. I knew what Daddy was doing to Lindsay. And I knew what she was begging for. But it was the sight of porcelain skin that made me shiver in Sir’s arms. The pale peach was a contrast to the tanned skin of Daddy. It was similar to mine. But hers wasn’t covered in ink. It was one of the few differences between me and Lindsay. She seemed more pure than I was.

I couldn’t stop myself from moving against Sir’s hands as I heard Lindsay release a wail before crashing into Daddy’s chest. If I knew anything, he was about to reward her for being a good girl and cumming against his hand. I felt the sting of Sir’s fingers pinching my clit as I ground against him again.^ Rose is beautiful when she cums. Her whole body flushes red. Does her pussy get even pinker, Sir? Does she have a tight little cunt that I’d kill to go down on?

Wes: -I let out a deep groan at the sound of my Rose cumming on the other side of the room. I knew that sound very well. It was one I enjoyed more than any other, but it was the words that came out of the girl that was grinding into my lap that sent a shiver along my frame and had my cock jumping in my pants against the heat of her pussy that sank in through the fabric.-

She is beautiful and her pussy is just as pink. You’d be a lucky little whore to go down on her, wouldn’t you, Cardinal? It would be a pretty sight to have your face in her pussy while my cock pounded into that tight little cunt of yours. I think your Daddy is about to find out just how tight she is.

-I reached up and roughly grabbed her breast, pulling her down into me as my cock twitched again at the thought- Tell me you want me to fuck you while she sinks down onto him, because I’m going to have you cumming all over me before we finish tonight. I promise you that.

-My hand moved from her body to snake between us and slide down the zipper of my pants, freeing my cock in the process. I wasn’t going to give it to her just yet, but I intended to tease her until she begged for it. My fingers moving from inside her to swirl gently around her clit while I let my hand guide the thick tip of my cock against her slit-

Cay: ^This was what he wanted. When we had discussed it earlier, this was what we were both talking about. I was a panting mess at his words. And I couldn’t even deny how good they felt coming out of his mouth. I wanted all of that. But I also wanted my Daddy.

I felt myself squirm against Sir’s cock as he freed it from the slacks he was wearing. But it was Daddy’s eyes that held mine. And I knew the fire that was burning behind them. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was watching me, or if he was actually enjoying what he was doing with Lindsay. But the look in his eyes was a much bigger turn on than the words spilling from Sir’s mouth.

I took my focus away from what I was doing to mouth a simple ‘I love you’ to him before I turned back to Sir. There was so much going on tonight. But I needed Daddy to know that I still wanted to put him first. Everything about tonight was a two way street. I didn’t do anything the moment he felt uncomfortable. Not that I felt like he was uncomfortable. Quite the contrary. He seemed to be enjoying himself. And as his eyes rolled back into his head, I let out a whimper.

My attention was back on Sir as I continued to rub my ass against his length.^ You seem to think I only want your cock. But keep in mind, Sir. My cunt gets the wettest for my Daddy.

Myrick: -I heard Cay moan from across the room, looking over the shoulder of the girl who was straddling my lap. She’d lost her dress to the floor in the moment after she came for me and I readjusted her to get her exactly where I wanted her to be, and right now she was sinking down onto my full length with a happy sigh. It was at that moment that I saw Cay’s mouth form the words “I love you” and the combination of the feeling of Lindsay taking me in along with watching my Baby Love on the other side of the room was enough to send my eyes rolling into the back of my head.

My hands went to rest on Lindsay’s hips, pulling her down into me as I pushed my hips up into hers the two of us moving in a perfect rhythm for the moment. She was lovely, her skin was pale in the dimly lit room only touched in a few places with a randomly placed freckle or two. She didn’t have any of Cay’s tattoos which was one of the few marked differences between the two of them. I loved my Baby Love’s tattoos. I could spend hours tracing them with a finger when we sat doing nothing but watching television curled up with the dog. I didn’t have any myself, and hers were an endless fascination for me. But Lindsay would have looked strange with them. It fit her to have that perfect unmarked skin, and it added to the Little Girl aura she put off more than I even think that she realized.

My hand slipped between the two of us, letting my thumb tease in a slow circle around her clit as she moved against me letting out a soft whimper at the contact. I needed her to enjoy this as much as I needed anything else. I could hear the other two across the room, and it was clear they were doing something entirely different, but it worked for the two of them. I knew Cay needed that as much as Lindsay needed this.-

Lindsay: ^There was no denying it. Daddy Baines and I could hear everything that was going on on the other side of the room. It wasn’t exactly something I was a fan of. I wasn’t huge on the dirty words. But I think that was more of me being a little. I knew it was something that he enjoyed. It was something I wanted to give him, but I think he knew it wasn’t something I completely enjoyed.

But again, that was a matter of talking. And we hadn’t gotten that far. Not since we had figured out what we needed to do in the studio. But there was something about Daddy Baines. He knew exactly what I needed without me having to say a word. I could only shiver as he started to tease my clit. My hips started to move faster before he gripped them tighter to slow me. He wasn’t going to let me control this unless I wanted to stop. And I was far from stopping.^

Wes: -I pulled Cay’s hips down into my lap, driving my cock deep inside her as she let out a loud moan. The soft whimpers that came from my Rose didn’t escape my notice either, even if the sounds that Cay was making were far more prominent. She was enjoying herself, and it was good to see. It was more than a turn on knowing that she was having as good a time as the girl in my lap seemed to be.

I gathered Cay’s hair into my fist at the base of her neck, giving it a twist so that my lips could brush across her ear while I spoke to her. I wanted her to hear every word that I said loud and clear, each word punctuated with an upwards thrust of the hips from me that sent a shudder through her frame- Then watch your Daddy, Cardinal. He’s over there with my Rose wrapped around his cock, and they both look like they’re having a good time.

-I gave her hair a yank as I pressed hard enough upwards into her to take her a little off her balance, one hand going to her hip to hold her in place-

Lindsay: ^I couldn’t focus on what Sir and Cay were doing. Daddy Baines was demanding my attention. It was his way of reminding me that this was about me. This was about what I needed. There was still so much on my mind, though. But as I got closer to my orgasm, everything was coming into place.

This was where I was supposed to be. I was supposed to be wrapped up in this man’s arms. I was supposed to feel comfortable with that. There was no other way to explain it. I wanted everything to be perfect. And right now, it was. Sir was occupied with Cay, and I couldn’t be happier for him. This was about giving him what he needed as much as me getting what I needed.

I couldn’t help but tremble as Daddy Baines pressed his thumb harder against my clit. I couldn’t stop the scream that slipped through my lips as I came against him. And he wasn’t far behind as he moved my hips harder against him. My body was a shivering mess as I crumbled against him. Through the ringing in my ears, I could hear Cay shouting about Sir. But it was just a fog in the background.

I didn’t stop myself as I pressed my lips against Daddy Baines’ jaw. I wanted him to know that I did appreciate everything that he had done. That I understood this was a risk when we all started this thing. And I was absolutely fine with it being a one time thing. With my lips still against his jaw, all I could do was whisper. I didn’t have the strength for much more.^ Thank you for everything, Daddy Myrick. Thank you for showing me what a Daddy truly can be.

#InFactItsColdAsHell

[sinfulmyrick]

When The Lights Flicker Out Tonight (SL with @DayDividesNight)

Myrick: -Things had been hectic in the few days since I’d given Cay the keys to the condo I’d bought her. We’d been putting things in boxes and suitcases from both the apartment and the townhouse. The few things we’d left behind there had been easily boxed up in an evening and carried off to the new house by the movers this morning. They were coming to pick up a few things from this place and carry them off now. In fact, they were on their way up the stairs at this very moment if the text message I’d gotten from Cay was accurate.

She still hadn’t seen the new place. She’d wanted it to be a surprise. I’d bought it and had it furnished before I’d even given her the keys. There was no way we were going to be able to fill it up with the things from this small place, and even if we had been, we were still going to need the apartment above the shop for a place to sleep on the nights when shipments were coming in. It wouldn’t be often, maybe once a week, but it was frequent enough that this place needed to stay more or less intact.

I let the movers in and showed them the handful of boxes of personal things that needed to go downstair and be carted off to the new place before I hit the stairs and walked down to pull my Baby Love into my arms and plant a soft kiss on her forehead. I needed this for her. I wanted her to know how much I loved her, and how much I wanted her to feel safe and secure in the new apartment. It was the one thing we needed more than anything, security-

So, Baby Love, you ready to go see our new home? Because as soon as these guys get the boxes downstairs, it’s going to be more or less ready for you. At least as ready as it’s going to get before we unpack and make it really our own.

Cay: ^It was still insanely weird to think I was the owner of a condo in Hell’s Kitchen. And more importantly, I was terrified that this was a gift from Daddy. He wanted me to have someplace to call my own in case anything happened between the two of us. And I wasn’t entirely sure how to handle that. I continued to wonder if he was creating a way out for him. That wasn’t a thought I could handle.

Cass had been understanding of opening the shop a few hours later today just to give the movers a chance to move the boxes out of the apartment. We had both agreed that the apartment was good for the nights we had shipments coming in. So, we’d keep it furnished. At least until we had to give it up.

I hadn’t been back to the townhouse since I had my nightmare. Daddy had understood completely that we both needed the fresh start, and he had done everything in his power to make it happen as fast as possible. I wasn’t sure what was coming from there, if anything. There was really only one thing I was concerned with when we finally settled in. And I wasn’t sure I wanted to ask the question.

As easily as we had settled into our Daddy/Baby Love relationship, the one thing we hadn’t actually done was go into a playroom. Part of that was because we didn’t have a playroom we both felt comfortable being in. We both knew the truth behind the playhouse in the townhouse. And the shop wasn’t big enough to have a playroom. But I hadn’t seen any orders come in through the shop for anything with a playroom. And that scared me.

As soon as the last mover had the last box in his hands, I turned my attention to the man standing next to me. He cherished me enough to put every one of my needs ahead of his, and there were times I didn’t know how to repay him. But I knew the truth. I was never going to have to repay him. Because this was something that made him happy. He loved taking care of me.^ I already am home, Daddy. I don’t think you realize that. You are my home. But am I ready to go to the condo? Yes, I am. And I think Leo is ready to go there, too.

Myrick: -I couldn’t help but to tug her closer with a soft chuckle when she called me her home. I didn’t know if she understood what that meant to me. For a long time, even home hadn’t been home for me. It had been hard for me to find a place to fit into the world I found myself in. Growing up, I was never quite what my parents expected or what fit into their lives. Never mind the fact that I was raised by staff more than parents.

Then I was a teenager, and it was time to decide what to do with my life. The doodles that kept me out of their hair when I was twelve were now a waste of time when I should have been taking Latin and Economics to prepare for a trip into college to earn an MBA or a law degree, preferably the latter. And then, I decided to major in art. That was the point at which I became a complete and total write off. My older brother, Bradley, was slowly but surely taking over my father’s spot at the family law firm by now, and my sister, Emily, was in the middle of earning a law degree of her own. Funny thing was, I was pretty sure the two of them were in it for very different reasons. Bradley saw the money making potential in all of it. He saw a ready made spot as a partner in a law firm that had been in our family for generations, and all the trappings that came with it. Emily was something else. If she could ever manage to stop taking pro-bono cases she might actually be successful at it, but something told me she wasn’t going to be able to.

And then there was me, living in an apartment above a sex shop in the city, and planning to move into a Hell’s Kitchen condo with a nineteen year old girl who was pregnant while I drew illustrations for children’s books and graphic novels. I was the wild card in the family. And I wouldn’t have changed a second of it, no matter how much it alienated me from the place I grew up. I’d never belonged there anyway. It wasn’t who I was, and Connecticut seemed a million miles and a thousand years away from here right this moment.

Leaning down to steal another kiss off her forehead as I reluctantly released her and fished around in my pocket for the keys to lock everything up before we headed out of the place- Then let’s go. We have a new dwelling to move our home into. -laughing softly as I grabbed Leo’s leash and hooked it into his collar to guide him out onto the sidewalk and let Cay out behind me-

Cay: ^I was glad Cass was around today. I could have stayed at the shop. I could have ran things while Daddy got the house set up. He could have gotten Leo settled into the place before introducing me to it. But I needed to be with him. I needed the three of us to start this journey together.

I could only laugh as Leo got settled in the backseat of the car. But it was the soft kiss to my temple afterwards that had me scurrying into the car. Things were going to be a little bit different now that we were in our own place. We had the chance to set up our own space. It was what we needed. It was ours. Even if Daddy had given it to me as a present. I was always going to think of it as ours.

And there were more than a few rooms I was excited to set up. I had left the bedroom up to Daddy to decorate. I wanted a space for both of us, and Leo. Because I knew that Leo was going to be with us at night. He always had been. Well, at least, Leo had always been with me. Before I came into the picture, I could only assume that he spent the night with Daddy.

I wanted to get started on the nursery. I wanted to make a safe space for the baby. It needed to be a space full of sweet dreams and comfort. I already knew some of the things I wanted in there. And I knew Daddy would absolutely make it happen.

Then there was the one room I was terrified of. The Playroom was not something to underestimate. And considering Daddy had never set up his own, I was terrified of putting it together. I didn’t know what was going to be needed, but I knew I was going to be responsible for ordering everything. It wasn’t even something I was sure he wanted. I could hear the twinge of fear in my voice as we started the drive to Hell’s Kitchen.^ What do we need to order for the playroom?

Myrick: -A playroom was something I hadn’t considered, even when I was buying this new place. I did think that Cay would need a space to call her own, which was why I picked a place with three bedrooms instead of just two.  I’d never had what the typical Dom would have called a playroom. I didn’t have or need most of the implements that many of them used. It wasn’t something that particularly appealed to me. If I spanked my Baby Love then I used my hand. Mostly what I figured the two of us needed was a space where Cay felt safe to be Little.

I could hear how nervous she was even asking. I hadn’t brought it up before, and she didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t want to put all of this on her, but in the same token I wanted it to be her space. Reaching out to run my fingers along the back of her hand, I carefully considered my words. I didn’t want to sound like I was brushing her off, and I didn’t want her to feel like I didn’t care about this. It was important to me if it was important to her.-

Baby Love, I don’t have to have a playroom. I wanted you to make the extra bedroom your space to decorate and outfit like you wanted it. Whatever you wanted. It’s your room, not mine. But we can do it together. I’m here to help you with whatever you want.

Cay: ^This whole thing was still new to me. I had only been in New York for almost two years. I had only been trained as a sub for maybe a year and a half. I had been running the shop for a year. And I had been in a relationship with Daddy for maybe six months. I still wasn’t entirely sure how to be a little some days. I just knew that I wanted to be with the man sitting next to me.

I wasn’t sure how to understand the idea of not having a playroom. But I needed to think everything through. There was still a lot I needed to consider. I didn’t even begin to understand what my own space should be.

I could feel my breathing pick up a little as I thought about what this meant. But there were a million and one answers to the question in my head. Part of it could have been that it was just too close to the arrival of the baby. Maybe Daddy didn’t want to risk it. I didn’t know. I didn’t know if he simply didn’t want to put me in a playroom.

I knew I needed to bring up the idea of it. I needed a reason about why he didn’t want to put a playroom in. The one thing I couldn’t do was dwell on it. I would only cause problems for myself if I kept going down a road of why.

My eyes focused on my hands as I tried to gather the courage to ask why. I mean, logistically, we were in this space 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We didn’t need a playroom for it. But I was scared of what it meant. I was scared of the road we were walking down. I was scared of what it meant.^ So why no playroom?

Myrick: -She was nervous, and nothing I was saying was helping. Internally, I kicked myself for letting things go this long without talking to her. Here we were months later, and I’d never actually discussed how all of this was going to work with her. We’d been through a lot in the past few months, and a could make the excuse that it hadn’t crossed my mind. But it would just be an excuse.

I wasn’t certain I’d ever had this conversation with anyone. I wasn’t certain of how to have it, and I was terrified of a whole slew of things. But she needed to know. She needed to have the opportunity to decide if this was right for her or not.-

I know we haven’t done much in the way of anything Daddy and LIttle since we started all of this. I guess I owe you an apology there. I just…

-I didn’t know how to tell her things other than to just spit them out. This was what it was, and I’d spent a long time wrapping my head around the way things were, and how I felt about all of them.-

We had everything going on before we found out you were pregnant, and then you were pregnant, and I just didn’t know how you felt about anything. I didn’t know what was safe. I’m terrified I don’t know enough about any of this. I’ve only ever even tried this with one person before you. I don’t want to hurt you or the baby. I don’t think it’s safe of me to choke you or spank you or tie you up. And I don’t need a special room to do it in. When I know that I can without putting you or the baby in danger, I’m perfectly fine with doing all of that in our own bedroom. I’ve been scared and nervous, and not at all certain of what you wanted, so I focused on what I knew how to do. I’ve been trying to take care of you and the baby the best I know.

Cay: ^I could only nod my head. This was the first time I had ever had a Daddy, and the truth was I didn’t think it would work if it was anyone other than him. But we were both in a unique situation. This was the first time I had ever felt comfortable in this title.

I shouldn’t have been surprised that Daddy didn’t want a playroom. He was right. Everything we could do was fine to do in our room. Or was it going to be just his room now that he was giving me my own space. It was a lot to take in, though. And there was a lot to talk about. But this was a step in the right direction. We needed to try to not take things for granted.^

Choking me is safe. As long as you don’t completely cut off my air supply. As long as you don’t make me pass out. You choking me is like me holding my breath. It’s safe until we cross a line that’s too far. And unless you’re too wrapped up in you, you’re not going to go too far. It’s why you haven’t tried it.

^The thing I wanted to address the most was the spankings. I wasn’t the kind of little that was a brat. I didn’t throw tantrums to try and get my way. I understood the need for Daddy’s control. It was to make me better. For us to be better. But we were going into a whole new place. Rules were going to be different. Things in general were going to be different.^

I’m not showing. And the likelihood of me showing for another month or two is low. It’s my first pregnancy. I’ll pop around 6 to 7 months. You can still put me over your knee and spank me, Daddy. It’s not going to harm the baby. Sex isn’t going to harm the baby. None of what we do is going to hurt the baby. I understand we’re going to have new rules in play because of him, but I think we need to get all of the new rules out on the table. We need to know what to expect of each other in our home. The last thing we need to do is second guess each other.

Myrick: -Intrinsically, I knew what she was saying was right. I wasn’t going to do harm to her or the baby if I kept myself in control. I was scared anyway, but I’d let the fact that I was terrified get in the way of me talking to her about all of this. I wasn’t certain I wanted to know the things that ran through her head when I didn’t talk to her. I had a habit of assuming the worst when we didn’t talk, even when I kept it to myself.

She mentioned new rules. I wasn’t even certain we’d solidified our rules to begin with. Getting everything out on the table and sorted out before we tried anything was the best course of action.- I know we need to get everything worked out. We should have months ago, but I’ve been avoiding the discussion. I barely feel experienced enough to be your Daddy without worrying about you being pregnant. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.

He… -I’d gone through about half of what I was going to say before I realized she’d called the baby “he.” I wasn’t sure if it was just a guess on her part, or if she had some kind of knowledge about the situation I didn’t. As far as I’d known, I’d been to every doctor’s visit with her, and I still had no idea what the sex of the baby was going to be- Did you say he? So are you trying to tell me something here, Baby Love?

Cay: ^My lips broke out into a smile as he asked if I was trying to tell him something. And, of course I was. There was a lot going on in his life, and I didn’t want to be a bother. I knew that if I had to step out of the store, Cass could handle it. And if Cass wasn’t around, Mellie was. And that was how I had gotten in and out of the doctor’s office.^ You had a meeting with the book people. Or was it the house.

^I couldn’t stop the giggle that slipped from my lips as I ducked my head and smiled. Daddy needed this. It was time for me to give him something. It was time for us to be equals in our relationship.^ You forgot I had an appointment when you scheduled your meeting. I didn’t want to come between you and work, so I went alone. Cass watched over the shop while Mellie was responsible for inventory. The baby is a he. And I’ve been toying with names. But we can talk about that later.

^Turning my head, I let my eyes focus on Daddy’s profile. He was intent on the road, but there was an amazed look on his face. He didn’t know what to think, but I knew we needed to get back on track. We needed to talk about rules and preferences.^ It has been a long few months for us. We haven’t had time to catch our breath since we got together. And we’ve both been running away from the discussion that needs to happen. And it’s brought us nothing but pain. But maybe this is the time we need to do it. With our fresh start, we start everything over. Including our relationship as Daddy and Baby Love.

Myrick: -I found myself kicking myself subconsciously again, having forgotten that Cay had an appointment wasn’t something I liked hearing, even though I’d known she got through it just fine without me. At least she had the surprise of being able to tell me that it was a boy on her own and when she wanted. I was still in a little bit of a shock over that as I made a turn to navigate towards the new condo. Names were most certainly something we could talk about later, though I couldn’t help the slight grin that spread across my face as I thought about it for the moment.

We did need to renegotiate everything at this point. Not just because of the baby, but because of everything that had happened to us. We weren’t the same couple who’d run headlong into each other on a kitchen counter over a cup of tea. We may have been the same people, but so many things had changed. A thousand of which had hit us for a loop and turned the entire situation inside out, things we never could have seen coming.

We had a new house, and a new life waiting for us. It only made sense that we had more than a few things to discuss- So, I guess the question is where do we start? I think both of us are pretty new at some of this.

Cay: We start after we get settled into the house. We have a lot going on right now. There is no doubt in my mind that we need to talk about it. But when we put too much on our plate, we start missing things. The first thing to worry about is getting the house set up. We need to have a place to bring him home to. So a nursery.

^I knew I was being the girl that wanted to have everything ready, but the truth was I needed to focus on something. The nursery was the most tangible thing. I wasn’t sure what I was walking into. I didn’t know how many rooms we had in the condo. I didn’t know the setup. But I could control the nursery. It was the only room that I was sure about.^ We get to set up a nursery for your son, Daddy.

^I wasn’t sure if I was still allowed to call him Daddy, but I was going to. Just because we didn’t have anything worked out did not mean that this wasn’t who we were. I was still his Baby Love. He was still my Daddy. It wasn’t a set of roles I was willing to give up. Not any time in the near future. I wasn’t willing to give much up. But I was willing to renegotiate where we were standing.^ You’re still my Daddy, right? Even though we still have all of this to figure out, you’re still Daddy and I’m Baby Love?

Myrick: -I had to keep my eyes focused on the road in front of me, but I needed to comfort the girl in the seat next to me just as much. No matter how much else had changed around and between the two of us, she deserved the reassurance that that was the one thing that wasn’t going to change.

I brought her hand up to my lips to press a soft kiss to the back of it. My lips lingered there for awhile before I answered her- You’re always my Baby Love, and I’m your Daddy as long as you want me. I promise. No matter what else happens.

-I gave her hand a squeeze before I continued.- You have the nursery to decorate. Our bedroom already has furniture in it, but you can change whatever you want. I hope you know that. I was just trying to make things easier on you when we moved in. I thought having a place for us to sleep would make it easier.

Cay: ^That was all I needed to hear. That he still wanted to be my Daddy. The only thing going through my head was that. I felt myself relax against the seat as Daddy kissed my hand. This was going to work itself out. One way or another. And I had hope that it would work itself out the right way.

I let out a soft laugh. As much as I wanted to set up the nursery, I didn’t want to be the only person that worked on it. The truth was that this wasn’t just my child. It was going to be Daddy’s son as well. I didn’t want the nursery design to be just mine. I wanted him to have just as much of a say as I did. My voice was almost shy as I rested my head on the headrest.^ I want him surrounded by books. Almost like a library painted on the walls. Book titles and quotes.

^I could only shake my head as I told Daddy what I wanted on the walls for the baby. I realized that I was talking to an artist. And the room was going to be perfect. Daddy wasn’t going to let it be anything but perfect. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind when I thought about that fact.^ And don’t kill yourself making it perfect, Daddy. Creating a masterpiece isn’t going to be something I expect. I mean, I’d like for you to paint the nursery. If that’s something you’re willing to do.

Myrick: -laughing softly as she started gushing about her ideas for the nursery. I was willing to let her have complete control of all of it. She could make that room whatever she wanted it to be. But I was thrilled she wanted me to be a part of it.

As far as being willing to paint the nursery, it wasn’t even something she was going to have to ask me to do. She just had to tell me what she wanted in the room, and it was going to be hers and the baby’s. Our son’s. I could only grin thinking about that.- Baby Love, I’ll paint it, happily. We can talk about what books you want and what quotes you like soon. I promise to make it perfect.

-Her warnings about not killing myself making it perfect were going to fall on deaf ears. I hoped she knew as much.-

Cay: ^I knew the truth. There was still so much to talk about. We knew what was still on the table to be discussed, but that was something for another day. Today was just worrying about what was going on at the new house. It was a matter of getting us settled. Making sure things were where they needed to be, and looking at the rooms that still needed to be touched and decorated.

But there had been progress made on the nursery. And that was my first concern. Honestly, I could live in a room that had zero to no decorations if it meant that the baby’s room could be worked on. And I didn’t want to take Daddy’s attention away from the nursery.

But as we pulled up to the condo, I couldn’t help but feel a rush of nerves. This was it. We were starting on a new path. A new place. And it was just going to be the four of us. I think that was what scared me the most. I could pretend that Mellie and Cass were part of our family if we were living above the shop. But now everything was different. Now, we were officially on our own. And I was terrified on if we could do this.

As soon as Daddy was in a parking spot, I was out of the car grabbing Leo from the back seat. Under any other circumstance, I knew I should have handed him over to Daddy. But I needed the comfort of holding onto something. And I knew that Leo wasn’t going to pull. He never had with me. It was almost as if he was just as worried about me as Daddy was.^ We’re starting a new life. This is it. We’re starting over.

Myrick: -Cay clinging to Leo’s leash brought a half smile to my lips. It was good to see the two of them had bonded. He was almost more her dog than mine these days, and I was good with that. I could see the fear in her eyes though. She didn’t know any of what was going to come of this. Neither did I, to be honest, but I had faith we would get through all of it. We were on our own now, and whatever happened, happened.

All I knew was that a part of me was going to be hers for the rest of my life, and the baby she was carrying was more than just a tangible representation of that. It was the best the two of us had to offer combined together, and the one thing that was going to tie us together probably past our own lifetimes.

I moved in closer, slipping an arm around Cay’s waist as I walked with her to the front doors of the building. The condo was on the upper floors, so a short elevator ride was the only thing standing between us and the place we were going to call home from here on out.- We are, Baby Love. Just the four of us. - the sentence brought a soft chuckle to my lips- And I know we have a lot going on, a lot to discuss, a lot of things to work out, but tonight feel free to just let all of this sink in if you need to. We don’t have to rush because we have all the time in the world.

-I liked the idea of having all the time in the world with Cay. I wanted more time than that. She made me feel a little greedy and more than a little selfish most days, though I was patient enough to share her with the world until time came to close the shop, when we could have some time with just us.

Punching the elevator buttons as the doors slid closed and left us in the tiny enclosed space, I felt my heart leap into my chest. I knew what was waiting us, especially her, at the top of the ride, but I had no idea how she was going to react to any of it. My nerves were starting to get the better of me. The building was older, and the elevator was slow. But all I could do was wait, and pull my girl closer into my side-

Cay: ^I wasn’t sure what I should have been expecting. But moving into this wasn’t it. But I should have known better. Daddy liked things with charm. The older building would inspire him in ways I wasn’t sure I was capable of. But that was good for when he needed to focus on a particular project.

I knew that I was his favorite source of inspiration, though. There was no doubt in my mind. I had a few ideas on things I wanted to do for him, but I was still entirely clueless as to how the house was set up. I didn’t know what rooms were going to be filled and what we still needed. But as we walked off the elevator, I couldn’t help the nervous giggle slip from my lips.

Leo pressed his body against me as the three of us walked down the hallway. There was barely enough room for all of us, but Leo pulled away from me to walk a few steps ahead. Daddy led us to the door, and it was like all of us stopped. As he reached forward to put the key in the door, I let my free hand move to cover his.^ Before we go inside, I want you to know that I didn’t need this to be my place. I need a place to call our home. I can do just about anything as long as you’re next to me. So, please don’t let me go. Don’t leave me here alone. Because we both know I won’t survive losing you. We need you. I’m not sure I can raise him on my own, and knowing that you bought this place for me to have so I’m not stranded if you leave terrifies me. Let’s just pretend that the place is ours.

Myrick: -Letting go of the key in the door, I threaded my fingers between hers and squeezed her hand. I hadn’t known that was how she was feeling, but I could hear the worry in what she was telling me now. I could see how terrifying it was that I was giving her all of this. I could have easily been setting her up to be on her own without me, though that was far from my intention.

I hoped that once I opened the door and showed her what was beyond, it would allay more than a few of her fears. The condo hadn’t been the only thing I’d been planning, nor had the collar. To me, this was all part of a larger scheme, a plan to make her an integral part of my life. She already was, more than she would ever know, but this was all going to make us officially a unit.

Pulling her in closer, I stole a kiss and opened the door behind me with one hand as I held her against my chest with the other.- I promise. This place is ours. It doesn’t matter whose name is on the deed. This is going to be our home. The three of us together. We’re going to be a family. And you’re not going to have to do a moment of it on your own.

-I’d left a small ring box open on the table in the entryway, and I hoped she saw it as I pulled her and Leo into the room, his leash still wrapped around her other hand.-

Cay: ^There were a million and one options for where we could go next. But the truth was that we were both in a new space. It was going to be a new relationship. A new house. A new baby. It was everything I could have dreamed of. This was where we were meant to be. There was nothing more right than this moment. I felt like I could breathe.

But it was the ring box sitting on the table as we walked into the room that made me lose my breath. The silver and purple were the first things to catch my eyes. But the details soon registered in my head. The heart and jewels were amethyst. The hands were silver. It was similar to a ring I had grown up admiring. My mother’s own wedding band was a claddagh, and traditionally, mothers passed them onto their daughters. I had given up on that hope when I was sixteen.

I felt my eyes start to prick as I looked up to my Daddy. I wasn’t sure if he understood the implications of a ring like this. It wasn’t something I had ever told him about, though. I didn’t talk to him about anything back home. There was no reason for it. It wasn’t a part of my life anymore. But that ring was a reminder of the one thing I had wanted. It was the one thing I was never going to get. But now Daddy was changing all of that.

My voice was almost a whisper as I just stared at the ring sitting on the table.^ Daddy? Why is there a claddagh sitting on the table?

Myrick: -the grin that spread across my face was unstoppable when I saw her recognize the box and register what it was. I'd done more than pick out a condo and a collar when I was out. I'd chosen a ring too. One I thought was going to mean something to her. I knew my girl was Irish, and while I was basically a mutt and mostly a descendent of the basic white people who came over on the Mayflower, I knew a couple of things. I'd always loved the claddagh. It was beautiful, even if I didn't fully get the significance of it. I understood it was about the unity between two people and that was what I wanted more than anything.

The purple stone inside was her favorite color, an amethyst, nothing fancy, but perfect. I had no way of knowing what she would tell me in response to what I was going to ask her, but it would have been wrong of me not to ask. I knew how I felt, and it was a question I needed to put into words.

I reached back, taking the ring from the box, and moving to one knee on the floor in front of her. Leo came up to me and swiped his tongue across my face once I was down on his level, drawing a laugh out of my chest as I slid the ring onto her finger- Well, I was hoping you'd do me the honor of being my wife, Baby Love. -looking hopefully up at Cay and trying to read her features for the moment as she gathered her thoughts after my statement-

Cay: ^I could only giggle softly as Leo gave Daddy kisses as he got down on one knee. But it was fitting. Leo was just as much a part of this family as the baby was. So, of course, he’d find a way to be involved. And it was in that moment that I realized what was going on. I watched as Daddy slipped the ring onto my finger, but I couldn’t help the small cringe that washed over my features.

It wasn’t that I was saying no, I wasn’t. There was no way I was going to turn this man down. But he didn’t know what he was doing. He was unsure of himself. But he wanted to do something for me. Slipping the ring from my finger, I noticed the small amount of heartbreak wash over his face.^ We’re not married yet. You put the ring on so that it symbolizes we’re married. If I were wearing it on my right hand and the heart was facing outwards, I’d be considered single. Right hand with the heart facing inwards means I’m in a relationship. Left hand inwards means we’re married. What you want is the left hand outwards. It symbolizes our engagement.

^I felt a tear fall down my cheek as I flipped the ring to it’s proper position. This was more than perfect. It was everything we needed. It was who we were as a couple.^ The claddagh symbolizes Love, Loyalty, and Friendship. The heart, the crown, and the hands. “With these hands, I give you my heart and crown it with my love.” It’s a quote many a little Irish girl wishes to hear from her mother. Most mothers pass down their claddaghs to their daughter. I gave up on hearing that phrase from her when I was sixteen.

^I could feel myself getting a bit more emotional as I tried to keep everything together. It wasn’t working that well, and I could only let out a soft laugh.^ Of course, you wouldn’t understand why this ring is perfect for us. You wouldn’t begin to understand why I’ve always wanted one. But you’re my Daddy. And somewhere inside of you, you always know what I want. And you’ll always bend over backwards to give me exactly what I need. And what I need is you. So if you couldn’t tell by me switching my ring to the proper position, the answer is yes. I will absolutely marry you. Because I can’t imagine my life with anyone else.

Myrick: -I tried not to let my face fall when she took the ring off, but it only took a moment for me to realize what she was trying to tell me. Of course, I had no idea what I was doing here. I had no way of knowing what the ring meant to her, or how to properly place it on her finger. But she was telling me yes. That much was abundantly clear.

The happiness that spread through me at the reply was more than I knew how to express. There weren’t going to be any words I had to explain how that reply made me feel. It was what I’d wanted, but more than I felt like I should ever deserve.

Love, Loyalty and Friendship… That was perfect. I’d stumbled on the very thing all this was for me by accident. Cay was the best friend I’d ever had, probably my entire life. Love, that was a given. And I’d have been loyal to her for the rest of my life if it was what she wanted. One ring, that I hadn’t completely understood, had summed it all up without a single word.

I stood up, pulling her into my arms without unlinking my hand from hers and pressing my lips against her-

Cay: ^There wasn’t much I could say or do as Daddy pulled me into his arms. All I could do was wrap my arms around his neck and let myself feel. There were a million and one emotions going through me, though. Part of me couldn’t begin to understand why this man thought I was good enough to be his. It was a thought I struggled with on a daily basis.

Another part of me thought that this was right. This was where I was supposed to be. This was my home. Not the condo that had been given to me as a gift. My home was the man who had me in his arms and was kissing me to death. I let my fingers curl into the dark strands and was granted with the deep growl I had come to expect. It was a sound that I loved.

There was still so much to work on. There were still a few rooms in the house that needed to be decorated. But there was truly nothing but time. I’d be given all the time in the world if I asked for it. But it wasn’t something I wanted. I wanted to be here, in this moment, for the rest of time. And knowing that I had a Daddy that loved to spoil me ensured that it was a feeling I could recreate any time I wanted.^

#WhenTheLightsFlickerOutTonight

[sinfulmyrick]

Can We Start Over Before It’s Over (SL with @DayDividesNight)

Myrick: -My nerves were getting the better of me as I played with the box that rested in my back pocket. It contained an entire new life for Cay and myself. The collar and everything that it represented for the two of us paired up with the keys for the condominium I’d bought her weighed heavily in my mind. I wanted it, more than I wanted anything else. I just hoped she wanted it as much as I did.

She’d been sleeping since I’d gotten back from running my errands, but I knew she would wake up soon. I hadn’t known she’d been left alone to run the shop while I was out, and the guilt of leaving her like that was eating at me a little. Cassidy had to leave, and I was gone. Between the two of us we had failed to take care of her. I was just lucky that one of the Doms who came into the shop was able to talk her into shutting the shop down and grabbing lunch. I was disappointed in Cass and myself for doing that to her.

I reached into my pocket and placed the box on the dining room table in the tiny apartment, running my fingers along the pink bow. I was nervous. I tried to swallow it down as much as I could, I wanted to surprise her with this. I needed this new life with her. We needed this together.  All that was left to do now was to wait for her to wake up.

I could hear her stirring in the tiny bedroom just off the main part of the apartment, and I knew Leo was curled up next to her, waiting on her to wake up if he wasn’t asleep himself. The two of them were inseparable, and I kind of had to admit I loved the way my dog had become as protective of her as I was, especially since I’d found out she was carrying my child.

In my head, the baby was mine, no matter what the circumstances that led up to this had been. I didn’t care about the rest of it. This was my family. She was mine. The baby was mine. I needed her as much as she needed me. I wanted her to know that.-

Cay: ^I hadn’t been able to wait up for Daddy to get here. I had ended up telling him in a text message what had happened with Cassi and Mr. Francis. I wasn’t entirely sure how he was going to feel about it, but I did know that he was going to beat himself up. I was his responsibility, and even more so now that the baby was on board.

I had noticed earlier in the week that I had a small bump against my stomach. Nothing that was terribly noticeable, and nothing that would require going into maternity clothing. Just enough of a bump to look like I had stuffed myself silly. Which, in a way, I had. But I had barely heard the door open and shut before I started to stir. Leo was next to me, the soft growl slipping from his mouth as someone walked into the apartment.^ It’s just Daddy, Leo. No need to get overly protective.

^I wasn’t sure if the dog understood exactly what was going on, but he was more protective of me now than he had ever been. I had hated moving him into the apartment above the shop, but there wasn’t much else we could do. And most days, Leo was fine with it. One of us would check on him throughout the day, including Cass. He was a friendly enough dog, but when it came to me and Daddy, all bets were off with Leo. It was something I trusted.

As I climbed out of bed, I pulled my hair from the pleats they had been in. My fingers worked quickly to rebraid the tails before I walked out into the open area of the apartment. His back was to me, but I knew just by the jacket which suit he was wearing. It wasn’t his favorite thing to wear, but I felt the small whimper slide from my lips. Under the dark blue coat was a white shirt with a subtle navy checkerboard pattern. The dark blue pinstripe tie made the pattern just that much more noticeable.

It must have been the soft whimper that caught his attention as he slowly turned to face me. Putting my hands behind my back, I let my eyes fall to the floor as I felt my cheeks start to color. With knee high socks, a pink and black plaid skirt, and a white button up, I knew I was going to be pushing the limits a bit with Daddy’s control.^ You were gone longer than you normally are when you have a meeting.

Myrick: -Her cheeks were the first thing I saw, a brilliant pink that almost matched the red of her hair. The noise had caught my attention. I was pretty sure I’d surprised her. Walking into the room to find me in a suit, which I hardly ever wore, bent over the table when I’d been gone when she fell asleep had drug a soft noise from her. It was half a noise of surprise, and half something else.

I could only grin when I looked down at what she was wearing as I slid my hands into my pockets. If someone had asked me how to dress like my best fantasy she would have hit it on the head, from the knee socks all the way up to the braids that rested on either side of her neck. Cay was perfect, and I hadn’t known what I’d been getting caught up in on the day she waltzed into the kitchen to ask for a cup of tea. But it had been worth every second of it.

I could only walk over and tilt her chin up, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips as I murmured my excuses- Daddy had some other business to take care of while I was gone. And I brought you back something. -I rest my forehead on hers for a moment before I pulled away and let her see the box on the table waiting there for her.

My heart was beating a hundred miles an hour when it jumped into my throat. I had no idea how she was going to react to this box, but I had my fingers crossed she was going to be as excited as I was about all of this.- Why don’t you go ahead and open it?

Cay: ^I wanted to do more than just get a kiss. And I felt my lips push into a pout as Daddy pulled away. But when he said there was more business to attend to, I had to admit that I was curious. I didn’t know where this was going, but the box on the table wrapped in a pink ribbon told me all I needed to know.

My movements were slow as I made my way to the table, though. I wasn’t sure where this was going, and I didn’t know what Daddy was planning. I had a million and one ideas rolling through my head as I gently tugged on the pink ribbon. But what I felt as the ribbon fell against the table made me realize that I knew what this was about.

Daddy had done nothing to make me believe he was going anywhere. After all of the breakdowns and all of the nightmares, he was still here. He was still taking care of me and the baby. My hands started to shake as I pushed the lid of the box open, and felt the rush of air slide between my lips as I saw the keys nestled in the box. But it was the lace that caught my attention. More pink ribbon decorated with black lace and black bows. It was delicate enough to be for a little, but I knew what it was almost immediately. Daddy had gotten me a new collar.

I couldn’t stop the tears that started down my cheeks as I turned to look at the man in front of me. He was just as unsure as I was. He wasn’t sure I was going to accept any of this. I could see it in his eyes, though. I could see the trepidation that I was just going to walk away from all of this. That I was just going to abandon him.^ When? Where? You got me a collar?

Myrick: -I couldn’t help but to walk up to her and run my fingers under her eyes to dry the tears that welled when she opened the box. The collar was of course the first thing that caught her attention, even if it was the smaller of the two surprises she was getting tonight, but she had no way of knowing what the keys meant.

I leaned down to press another kiss to her forehead and then one to her lips before I stood up straight with a grin- Today? While I was out, but I called and ordered it a week ago. I just got a call that it was ready yesterday. So I thought I’d stop by and pick it up while I was out today.

-I was still terrified she was going to hit me when she asked about the keys, and I told her what they were for. I was worried she didn’t like the collar, or that she’d tell me this was all too much for her. But there wasn’t anything else I could do. I needed her to know how I felt about her. I needed to give her these things, and the two of us needed a new start. That much was obvious. All these things were the only way I knew to make sure we had a life together that belonged to just the two of us. Well, the three of us… Four if you counted Leo. And I knew Cay was always going to count Leo.

I slid my arms around her waist for a moment to tug her closer as she picked up the collar from it’s box- So do you like it?

Cay: ^As Daddy asked about the collar, I noticed the set of keys that were settled in the box. That turned my joy into fear. My hands were shaking as I let my fingers trace the metal that was still in the box. I felt the collar slip from my hand as I continued to stare at the keys in front of me.

My voice was small as I ignored the original question posed to me. This wasn’t an easy thing to think about. This was actually terrifying. There were a list of things the keys could go to, and I didn’t know if I really wanted to know the answer. But I had to ask. I had to know the truth.^ Did you also go out and buy us a house? Is everything your way of telling me it’s time to start over?

Myrick: -the side of my mouth turned up into a half smile as I watched her trace the keys in the box. I could her the trepidation in her voice. I didn’t know how she was going to react when I told her what was going on, but I couldn’t hold myself back from it any longer.-

They’re for a new house… A condo in Hell’s Kitchen. I broke into my trust fund to pay for it, and I want us to start a new life together there with Leo and the baby. But it’s yours…

-letting out a long breath and pulling her closer, I could only hope for the best in her reactions. This next part was the one that scared me the most. I was putting the keys to her life in her hands, and she could do anything she wanted to do with it.- I mean, I put the deed in your name so no matter what happens, the house belongs to you. I know you’ve been scared, and things in your life have been unstable. I just need you to know that at least this much is safe. It isn’t going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for both of you, as long as you want me.

Cay: ^I didn’t even know how to respond to the fact that he had put the house in my name. There was nothing for me to say. I wasn’t even sure how to say it, I think. Nothing was easy. At least, not this easy. It wasn’t just that he got us a house. But he went and put it in my name? There were a million and one feelings rolling through me as I tried to understand why he would even do that, but I knew the truth. It was simple.

Daddy cared about me. He loved me. It was something I hadn’t been able to tell him since Del had left. I assumed he knew, though. I assumed he knew everything. But I was pretty sure it was time for me to start telling him again. But the reason he had put my name on the deed was because he wanted to take care of me. Even if he wasn’t going to be around to do it, he wanted me to be okay. He didn’t want me in the position we were in when Del left. He didn’t want me to be stranded.

I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking as I pulled the keys out of the box. I could only stare at them in wonder as they hung from my fingers.^ I love you. I know it’s not something I’ve said lately, but I’ve been scared. The last time I let those words out, we both got left behind. And I can’t begin to comprehend how I’d handle you leaving. So I just haven’t said a word. I was just hoping you knew and you understood. But I love you. And I don’t know what I would do without you.

Myrick: -I could only watch her as she dangled the keys and processed everything that I was handing her in that moment. Her hands shook so much that the metal pieces rattled together gently before I took her hand in mine and wrapped her fingers around the keys beneath my own. I simply held her hand there for a moment until I pulled her in closer and rested my forehead against hers. I couldn’t tell if she was simply stunned or if she was upset I’d gone and done something like this without talking to her first. But her admission of loving me was something I needed to hear.

I’d known she loved me since the first time I heard her say it, but the lack of admission since Del had left hadn’t gone unnoticed. I figured she needed time, but there were days I wondered if all this was too much for her. I was afraid of losing her, so I let her work it out on her own time. I knew she was just as scared of losing everything.

Pressing a soft kiss to her forehead before I pulled back and looked down at the much smaller red-headed girl in her pretty braids and skirt wrapped up in my arms. She was everything I needed and far more than I thought I deserved, and she needed to know that. -

Baby Love, I love you too. I don’t like to think about doing anything without you, but I wanted you to feel safe, and loved. And this was the best thing I could think to do for you. You and the baby have a place. It’s your place, and I want to be a part of every single day of it if you want me there. But I want you to be able to have everything you need whether I’m there or not. This is my gift to both of you. And you and the baby are my gift. Far more than I ever thought I was going to get.

#CanWeStartOverBeforeItsOver

[sinfulmyrick]

The Summer Stars To Lead Me Home (Solo SL)

-Taking care of things at the publisher’s office didn’t take too long. I’d already agreed to take on the illustrations for a children’s book ages ago. It was just a matter of me picking up a copy of the manuscript after the final rounds of editing so that I could prepare the illustrations. I had a month, one month to get all of the drawings completed and inked for the entirety of the book. It was more time than I needed, but that meant I could take my extra time with Cay. I was already planning to do my work behind the counter at the shop. I didn’t plan on letting her out of my sight for any longer than necessary now that we had a baby on the way. But today I had more than just that much business to take care of. I had plans, and I needed to set them into action as soon as possible. I’d been on the phone with a real estate agent and the attorney who handled my trust fund. I knew what intended to purchase, and I knew I had more than enough money to cover it. The tricky part was making sure that everything was able to get done without Cay knowing what was going on. She knew I was looking for a place, but she didn’t know I was putting it in her name. It was part of the whole deal behind the condo. They were part of some deal the city had going on. The apartment was ridiculously inexpensive considering the neighborhood, but it was out of the price range for the income bracket it was meant for. If you made more than a certain amount of money a year, you weren’t even going to be considered for buying it, but the mortgage alone would have cost as much as the yearly income. I wasn’t planning to mortgage it. I had a nest egg. I had enough money to pay cash for it from my grandfather with enough left over to cover furnishings without breaking the bank. It would take more than half of what I had, but I hadn’t touched the money for a good reason. It had been meant for my college, but I’d managed to get through all four years without needing the extra financing, and I’d been determined that I was going to make ends meet in the city without asking anyone back at home for any help, especially not financial help. I had enough income from the books I was illustrating to support myself. I could even take care of Cay. I just couldn’t come off the cash to buy a condo. I figured this was what the money was there for, and there was no way my parents could fault me for buying real estate, especially not at a price like this. What they might object to was me putting the entire thing in Cay’s name. Not that I cared, but I had a two-fold purpose in putting the condo in her name. Firstly, and most practically, I made a little more than the required limit to purchase the home, but Cay was under the limit based off what she made at the shop. Secondly, I needed her to feel secure. I might be the person who provided the financing, but she was going to own it. This was going to belong to her and the baby she was carrying no matter what might happen to me. It was my gift to her, to both of them, to show her I wasn’t planning on going anywhere. I was literally putting all of this in her control. She would be able to kick me out anytime she wanted, if that’s what she decided, and I would have no way to fault her for it. The condo was entirely hers. It didn’t matter to me. I trusted her. I loved her. And if she decided that being with me wasn’t something she wanted, I was bound and determined to provide her and the baby with a place to live that meant they would be taken care of even if I wasn’t there. I had to head into the condo offices to sign the last of the paperwork and collect the keys. I’d taken care of as much as I could over the phone and by email, but there was only so much I could do without showing up and being present for signing the final paperwork. The attorney was meeting me there with all of the closing paperwork. It made me laugh to think Cay didn’t even have to be there. I could put this in anyone’s name I chose today. I was choosing her. I was always going to chose her. And I didn’t think I was ever going to regret that. We’d been through a lot in the past few weeks. I couldn’t deny that. And I couldn’t help but blame myself for some of what had happened. Del was gone. I didn’t know why. I probably never would. I knew Del well enough to know that maybe there was no one who was going to get close enough to understand the reasons he did what he did. It was hard to understand the way he dealt with being scared of being abandoned, but I knew it was perfectly in character for him to do something like this. But then again, almost anything would have been in character. It was part of his personality to be unpredictable. Maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe it was no one’s fault, just one of those twists of fate. That didn’t make it hurt any less. The hurt was double when you took into account that I had a broken hearted Little Girl on my hands. She took this more personally than I would have ever wanted. I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and tell her everything was ok, and that she wasn’t to blame for any of this. In truth, she wasn’t. But I understood the mindset of blaming yourself for everything more than most. She was perfect. I never missed the opportunity to tell her so when I could. But I knew that didn’t mean I could stop the things than ran through her mind when she stopped distracting herself. I knew what they were, but I didn’t always know how to help them. At least we were talking now, trying to make a fresh start. And a fresh start was something we both desperately needed. This was a huge part of that. Getting out of that house was going to stop there being a memory sitting around every corner and stop the realization that everything around us really belonged to someone who’d walked away and left us all. Marinating in memories that broke our hearts every time they cropped up was going to eventually be the end of us if I didn’t do something about it. It wasn’t the only fresh start I had in mind. I wasn’t a fool, and I wasn’t blind. Even if I didn’t say anything, I’d noticed that Cay had stopped wearing the collar she’d been given. It had been a gift from the both of us. I couldn’t say that I blamed her. But I intended to replace it. The pink leather and lace didn’t have to grace her throat ever again if she didn’t want it to, but I thought we both needed to have something that marked her as mine and mine alone, something I picked out for her on my own. I’d been working on that just as long as I’d been working on getting the condo straight, and I was picking up the new collar on my way to sign the closing paperwork. Pink leather was going to be replaced by pink and black ribbons. It looked delicate, maybe even flimsy, but I knew enough to make sure it was going to hold up to what it was going to be put through. The invisible core was leather, but it was surrounded by satin and capped off with a bow held in place by a ring. A tiny charm hung from the center where the ring was mounted, an infinity symbol. I’d looked through a thousand charms, engravings and monograms and symbols galore, but this was the message I wanted to give her. Always… I was always here, and I wasn’t going anywhere unless she wanted me gone. Even then, I was hers as much as she was mine, and I always would be. I needed to get this done as quickly as possible. Everything was waiting to be set into place, and if things went as planned I’d be back at the shop in less than two hours, keys in my pocket and collar in my messenger bag to pull my girl back into my arms where she belonged.- #TheSummerStarsToLeadMeHome

[sinfulmyrick]

I’ll Slip Away Into This Sound (SL with @DayDividesNight)

Cay: ^There was still a huge elephant in the room. We didn’t talk about it. It was not something we needed to talk about. I didn’t need that kind of stress. And I think Myrick accepted it. But I knew it was bothering him. We had completely shut down from each other, though. Our titles were all that we had at this point. He was Daddy, I was Baby Love. But there was nothing more than that. And I didn’t know what we were supposed to do. How were we supposed to move on from this?

 It didn’t help that we were still in this house. A house I felt anything but comfortable in. I just didn’t know how to take that next step, though. I didn’t know how to tell Daddy that I couldn’t stay here any longer. I didn’t know how to tell him I hated this place. I hated the memories that were here. I hated remembering how Daddy and I had gotten together. I hated everything about it. I hated our story. I wanted a fresh start. I wanted to forget everything. But everything I wanted to forget was the reason I had my Daddy. And the only thing I didn’t want to forget was him.

 Sleeping was always a roll of the dice. I either slept, or I didn’t. There was no in between. And the nights that I did sleep, the amount was always a question mark. Most nights, I’d wake up at 2 am after a nightmare. And if I was lucky, I was waking up on my own. There were some nights where Daddy was the one waking me up. And when he asked if I needed to talk, the answer was always the same. No, it was nothing. I didn’t need to worry about it. Last night I didn’t want to talk. And after telling Mellie and Cass what had been going on, the nightmares were back with a vengeance. I knew that my answers were no longer good enough for Daddy. I couldn’t play it off like it was nothing. So I did everything in my power to keep myself from falling asleep.

 Tonight’s excuse was the theme night Cass and Mellie wanted to put on. Add on that it wasn’t something I knew Daddy wanted to do. This was going to be about making it work for him. I had to reassure him that this was exactly what he was comfortable with. There was still the matter of talking about our scene together, but I was sure that we could figure something out.

 I wasn’t sure when sleep had taken me, but I felt myself fall into the darkness of another nightmare. All I could see was Del in the distance with a baby curled against his chest. I felt the screams tearing through my lips, but I was powerless to wake up. And that was another thing I was absolutely worried about. Del could have every right in the world to come rip the baby away from me and Daddy. It was the biggest fear I had. I couldn’t think about that, though. It was a problem for later.

 I could feel the tears pouring down my cheeks. I could feel myself screaming, but I was trapped. There was nothing I could do to get myself out of this nightmare. I wanted to wake up. I wanted to be away from this. I wanted everything to be okay, but I was a slave to my subconsciousness. There was something I needed to discover, and I wasn’t waking up until I found it. That much was clear.^

 Myrick: -I wasn’t blind enough to believe that everything was even close to being okay with Cay. I knew she was having nightmares, things she didn’t want to tell me about. I just didn’t know how to help her unless she was going to talk to me, and talking seemed to be the last thing she wanted to do. It seemed that I was going to have to force her into the conversation. I didn’t know how much our current surroundings were helping the situation, but I also didn’t know how to broach the subject of leaving with her. I didn’t know whether she was clinging to this place or if it were slowly driving her crazy. I had no way of knowing until I forced it from her, and that time was coming, though I didn’t know how quickly.

 I hated the nights she didn’t sleep, but I hated the nightmares more, especially the ones she couldn’t wake herself from. Tonight, she woke me, screams ripping through her throat and echoing around the bedroom we’d both taken up residence in during the last few weeks and sending Leo into a frenzy of barking and pacing. There were even tears streaming down her face from behind her closed eyelids. My heart jumped from my chest into my throat at the anguish in the sound as I sat bolt upright in bed.

 My hands went to her shoulders, shaking her gently to try to wake her without any more trauma. I wasn’t certain it was going to work. Some nights it took all I had in me to drag her from her nightmares.- Cay… Baby Love… wake up. -I pulled her up into my arms, dragging her shoulders from the bed as her hair trailed behind her. I crushed her into my chest, taking a deep breath and exhaling with a silent prayer that she would wake soon- Wake up, Baby. Daddy’s right here.

 -She was still dreaming, squirming and flailing as I held her arms at her side gently, but she was coming out of it slowly. At least the screams had stopped for the moment- Please wake up, Cay. It’s just a bad dream.

 Cay: ^All it took was the pleading I rarely heard when I was this deep to pull me from the nightmare. It was completely heartbroken and confused. It was the only thing that could pull me from what I was struggling with. But I knew the truth. This had to be the end of us here in this house.

 As my eyes opened, my arms instinctively wrapped around Daddy’s neck as he pleaded for me to wake up. Shaking my head back and forth, I wasn’t sure what was about to happen. But I still couldn’t stop the sobs from slipping out of my mouth. I was terrified. There was no way around that. There was nothing I could do to stop that fear, though. My words were almost lost in the sobs, but I couldn’t pretend that everything was okay. We needed to talk about this.^ He left us. He promised he wouldn’t. Why weren’t we good enough?

 ^It was only a small fraction of the fear, but it was a starting point. It was enough to get a conversation started. It was something we both needed. And I knew the questions were rhetorical. Daddy had no more insight into what happened than I did. But I guess it was the fact that they had lived together for years that made me hope he had some sort of answers.^

 Myrick: -I wished more than anything that I had an answer to give her, but I didn’t. I’d known him longer than most people, but there was no fathoming his reasoning. He was a runner. That was what I knew about him, and it hurt to be one of the ones left behind. I knew that.

 I could only thread my fingers into her hair and take a deep shaky breath, unsure of how to reply- I don’t know, Baby Love. I wish I did. -biting my lip and sighing out another shaky exhale as I held her to my chest. At least she was awake, but something had to change. We couldn’t go on like this forever. We couldn’t do this much longer in fact.

 She was sobbing, and I was just shy of falling apart myself.- It’s not fair, not fair to either of us. And you’re allowed to question it all. I just don’t know if I have any answers for you.

 -I needed to get her out of this place; a chance of scenery could only help. I had already been contemplating finding our own place, but I knew that needed to happen sooner rather than later.-

 Cay: ^I wanted to lose control of every emotion running through my body. But the truth was that this wasn’t just about me. I wasn’t the only one that was hurting. Daddy had taken a step out of his comfort zone when Del had admitted to having feelings for him. But he got left just as I did. My voice was soft as I tried to get the words out. But it felt like every other one was getting stuck in my throat.^ I’m sorry he left you. I’m sorry that I’m the one that came in here and ruined everything.

 ^It was something I have never vocalized, but it needed to be said. If I hadn’t come home with Del, then this never would have happened. But at the same time, nothing would be right if I hadn’t been in the club. As much as Del leaving had hurt, this was where I wanted to be. Well, maybe not here exactly. But I was in my Daddy’s arms. And he cared about me. He wasn’t going to hurt me.^ I can’t be here anymore. I can’t be in this house. I can’t live with the memories haunting both of us.

 ^The sobs were slowing, but the tears still ran as I tried to get my thoughts together. I had to think about what was best for the baby, and being here was just too much stress. I wanted to be out of here, I needed it. I couldn’t risk my health for convenience.^ If we have to go back to the apartment above the shop, we can. But I know Leo will hate it. I just can’t be here anymore. I can’t be in a space that is his.

 Myrick: -when Cay blamed herself for everything it almost broke my heart in half. I had to keep her from blaming herself, because if anything good had come from all of this it had been her and the baby. I would have gone through the pits of hell to have them both in my life, and that was something I needed her to know- Baby Love… -moving to brush the bits of her brilliant red hair from the places they'd stuck to on her face before I pressed another kiss to her forehead- You're not to blame for a moment of this. He left. That's not either of our faults. He's left before. He's a leaver. But you're right. We don't need to be here anymore. I'll make this work out. I promise.

 -She was right about the apartment over the shop. It was fine for just her, but for the two of us and a dog and a baby on the way, it was far too cramped. Not to mention, Leo had a bad habit of standing in the window and barking at everyone who passed on the street after a certain hour of the night. Neither of us was going to get much sleep and the neighbors would hate us. I had an idea, some condos I'd found when I was looking for a place to live after my loft had been sold. At the moment, I hadn't met the requirements for the building but I knew someone who did. Cay… I had the money in the nest egg my grandfather had given me, though I hadn't wanted to touch it. It had been meant as a college fund, but I'd gotten through on scholarship and left it untouched. Tapping into it meant that I was going to have to contact my father’s attorney, and that meant my father would know I'd gotten it. It was certain to mean a phone call from one or both of my parents before the end of the week. But if it meant my girl and I had a place on our own then so be it.-

 Cay: ^I felt the sharp intake of air as Daddy said he would make it work. I wasn’t sure how, but I knew that there was one thing we had to take care of. Since I was coming down from my freak out, I felt my hand pat the bed. It was then that the golden haired pup came to me and let his head rest on my legs. I let my fingers curl through his fur as I thought about everything.

 There were things I knew, and things I didn’t know. I knew that Myrick had a nest egg he was sitting on. I didn’t know how much. I didn’t care how much it was. I had him, and that was all I needed. But I could see the worry in his eyes. And I knew what that meant.^ I don’t want you reaching out to your parents for me. I know what they’re going to do, Daddy. They’re just going to try and pull you back into the world.

 ^I could only shake my head as I thought about that. I knew that it killed him to be away from them sometimes. But he knew that he didn’t want to be in that path. He didn’t want the perfect life of a white picket fence with 2.5 kids and a dog. I mean, we already had the dog and one of the babies was on the way. But there was still so much pressure from them. Daddy didn’t follow in the footsteps that were laid out for him. And for that I was thankful. If he had gone down that path, I was certain I wouldn’t be here with him today.

 But I couldn’t keep everything from him. Everything needed to come out. I had to tell him everything, or we weren’t going to make any strides with this whole communication thing.^ I just want everything to be right. And that’s starting to bleed into this club night that Mellie and Cass want to put on. And I can’t tell them no. Even if there’s more stress than I’m letting anyone see. And I don’t even know how to approach you about what we’re going to do. I don’t know why we agreed to this. Can we just tell them we’re not doing it?

 Myrick: -I saw the look in Cay’s eyes when she brought up my parents, but it was inevitable. They were going to be in contact with me again sooner or later. It didn’t really matter that if it was this or something else. My brother’s wife would have another baby, or he would get made senior partner in his firm, my father would retire sooner or later, one way or another they were going to try to drag me back into the world I’d left behind, the one that fit me like a shoe that was just a size too small. It was just matter of making sure that all of this was worth it. And I was damned certain that it was more than worth it.- I won’t have to talk to my parents, just an attorney back in Connecticut. It’s fine, Baby Love. -I wasn’t lying to her. I didn’t want to lie to her. My parents absolutely were going to hear about this. They were going to call me and find out what I’d gotten the money for, and I was going to tell them. They couldn’t blame me for buying a place for myself and the mother of my child. That was going to be great news for my mother, until she started pressuring me for the rest of her little dream. It wasn’t going to happen, and I was going to tell her in the nicest way I could manage. I was also going to to tell them about Cay. She was a permanent part of my life now, whether they liked it or not.-

 Even if they do find out, it’s none of their business, and trust me, there’s no way they’re going to drag me back into anything. -The rest of her request was something I’d been thinking over for quite awhile now. I had no idea how to do a scene in front of people. It wasn’t something I’d even ever seen before, much less done in front of people. I knew there were clubs in the city. I’d been to a couple of them with Del when I was trying to figure all of this out. But I hadn’t spent any kind of serious time in any of them. I knew Cay had; I trusted her to talk me through this, but putting extra stress on her or forcing her into doing something she didn’t want to do was the last thing I was going to do.

 I’d had a thought that seemed stupid at the time, but I was going to give it voice now. It was definitely an alternative to the full on Daddy Dom scene that maybe Cass and Amelia had had in mind when they asked us to join in, but it still gave them something with the two of us together on stage, something I was far more comfortable doing than a scene- And about the club… What if we don’t do an actual scene? -cupping Cay’s chin to plant a gentle kiss on her lips as I let a soft smile spread across my face- We could just give a little talk, do a Q&A session on being a Daddy and a Little. It’s not like those are common roles even in the BDSM community, Baby. I know people are curious. And it saves us the stress of performing in front of a crowd. Just tell me if you think it’s a stupid idea.

 Cay: ^I knew there was more to the whole finding a new place to live thing than he was letting on about. But that was okay. He could have his secrets. I wasn’t going to pressure him into telling me anything. I knew this was going to be a topic that we got back to eventually. Especially if he finally did get everything together.

 But he was right about the club night. I was just going to stress myself out more by thinking about what we were going to do. I knew that going to clubs wasn’t Daddy’s thing. It was something I did before him, though. It was why Mellie and Cass knew they could count on me when they wanted to do a theme night.

 The stress of doing a scene was a lot. Especially with as possessive as Daddy was. It was way too soon for anyone else to see me. That was if we ever really got to that step. I wasn’t sure how Daddy would feel about letting others see him take me and use me as he pleased. It was something I wanted, but it wasn’t something I was going to push him on. Not now, not ever. My voice was soft as I let my head fall against his shoulder.^ I don’t think it’s stupid. I think it’s a good idea. And we don’t have to give specific details about our relationship. At least, not all of them.

 ^There was another topic on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t want to question him. I didn’t want to bother him with that problem. I knew it was something we would have to approach, but I didn’t think now was the time. I knew there was a pink leather and lace collar sitting in the dresser drawer. It bothered me that I hadn’t put it back on, but the truth was it was too harsh of a reminder. I wanted something that was solely from Daddy. I wanted something that was just for us. But I couldn’t tell him that. I was almost positive he knew, though. He wasn’t exactly stupid. I was sure he noticed the fact that I had stopped wearing it.^ It’s something we can talk about. And I know we haven’t been doing a lot of talking. I’m sorry I’ve been so stuck in my own head lately.

 Myrick: -I shook my head as she apologized for not talking. It wasn’t something she owed me an apology for. Both of us had been guilty of it. No one in this house had been talking. Part of it was being in this place where all the memories were of us together. It was Del’s house in the end of everything, and now Del wasn’t part of any of this. He’d left, and we were stuck in limbo. Getting us out of this place was hopefully going to do a lot to fix that at least.

 Things needed a change. We needed new things that belonged to just the two of us. The new place to live was a start. A new collar was something else, something I’d been thinking about since she took the original one she’d been given off and placed it in the drawer in the beside table. She hadn’t even opened the drawer to look at it since then. That was something else I needed to work on.

 I had a new project starting, and I had to go into the publisher’s office to get the manuscript I was doing illustrations for and bring it back to the house one day this week. That was going to give me a chance to go by and pick out something I had in mind for her when she wasn’t around. I hated the idea of leaving her alone at the store, but Cass would be around and hopefully Lia when I couldn’t be. I’d already spoken to her about it, and she was planning to keep my girl safe when I couldn’t.-

 Baby Love, you don’t owe me an apology for anything. We’ve had a hard go of it lately. Things need to change for both of us. At least we’re talking now. Things are good as long as we keep talking.

 -I couldn’t help but to reach out and stroke a soft thumb across her cheek before I stole another kiss off her forehead. Sometimes, I forgot how young Cay really was. It was easy for me to slip into the mindset that she and I were the same age, but she was really only nineteen years old to my twenty-five. She was pregnant, and had been on her own for awhile now, a little new to the whole world she was a huge part of between the shop and the club, and I realized how easy it was for her to feel lost. Even I felt lost and new to things, but the two of us had time to work our way into the roles we needed and wanted if we kept working and communicating. Shutting down wasn’t something that was going to help either of. Especially not me shutting down.-

 I owe you an apology as a matter of fact for shutting down on us both. I shouldn’t have, but I didn’t know what else to do. I’m good at internalizing things, and I just got a little lost in my own head, too.

 Cay: ^The only thing I could do was curl up against Daddy. Was I tired? Yes, exhausted was the real term. But I didn’t want to stop this. I was terrified of what the sunlight would bring. Would we go back to avoiding all conversations that were going to be hard? Were we going to ignore what had happened to us. Because that was what had happened. It wasn’t just me that this was effecting. Daddy had been just as hurt as I was. And the fact that I was putting it on the backburner for my piece of mind hit me hard. I had been denying him the chance to get over everything.

 But tonight was different. We had made progress in everything. We were, essentially, starting over. And it was something we both needed. We needed to start over. I knew where we stood, though. But the possibility of voicing it was scaring me. I had been close to telling Del what I felt, and he left without thinking twice. It didn’t seem to bother him. Leaving us was nothing to him. It was something I needed to stop thinking about. I needed to not let this get the best of what I had with Daddy.^ We both need to learn how to not shut down. There’s only so much we can do, but we can’t lose each other.

 ^I wanted to say more, but I knew it was pointless to even go any further with this conversation. We were at a good point. We could talk about what we thought his motivations were, but the truth was that we knew nothing. We couldn’t get into his head. And it was something I needed to realize.^ I know I’m not the best at this whole little thing, but I can’t lose you, too. I can’t do the whole being pregnant thing on my own. I can’t be in that shop without thoughts of you. I need you in a way I’m not sure I’ve ever needed someone before. I haven’t had to rely on anyone in over a year.

 ^I knew Daddy didn’t see me as a child. But there were days that I think he forgot I was barely an adult. Yes, I had been on my own since I was eighteen, but I still didn’t know too much. I knew enough to make it on my own when my heart wasn’t involved. But the truth was that my heart was very much involved now. It hadn’t taken long at all, but maybe that was because it was supposed to be this way. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to be completely independent. I just needed to be away from the Desmond family. I needed to be away from the control they tried to have. A control that I was never willing to give them.^ You’re the only person I have in the world. I’m scared of not being good enough for you.

 Myrick: -when Cay started talking about losing me, it made me catch my breath and shake my head.I wasn’t going anywhere, and nothing except her walking out and leaving me was going to make me go anywhere. I felt like a jerk for even letting her think it was a possibility. But I knew it wasn’t just me. She was feeling insecure. We both were. It was easy to doubt everything after the stuff we’d been through lately. But talking with her made the air feel a little less stuffy in here, like there was something we were going to be able to do about all of this, like maybe we were going to get a chance to do it all over again and make things right.

 I leaned down and stole a kiss right off her lips, hands moving to cup her cheeks- Baby Love, there is nowhere I would rather be than wherever you are. There’s a reason I sit at the store all day and draw, and it’s not because I’m possessive and think one of the guys who walks in there is going to hit on you. It’s because I can’t stand to be apart from you for even that long. You’re far more than good enough for me. You’re perfect for me. And I’ve never before in my life had anyone who made me feel like I was part of a family the way that you do. So please just know, that the only way I’m leaving you is if you tell me to go.

 Cay: ^I could feel myself fighting the urge to go to sleep. And I knew it was going to be a useless fight with Daddy. We both had stuff that we needed to handle. I was spending the day with Cass while he ran around the city. I knew there was a project coming up, and I didn’t want to keep him from doing that.

 I had a new customer at the store. A music producer that had just moved into the city, and wanted a playroom set up in his place. He wanted it to be discreet, and he knew the shop could do whatever he needed. It was a matter of getting everything ordered and delivered from the shop. I also figured I could invite him to the club. Get him to meet more people in the city. He hadn’t mentioned a sub, but it also wasn’t something I was going to push on him. I knew what it was like to meet the right one. And even then, he could already have a sub, but she just never came to the shop.

 I was letting my imagination get the best of me, though. That was a side effect of being pulled from a deep sleep. I couldn’t stop my brain from shutting off. This wasn’t what I needed to be thinking about, though. I needed to get my head on straight. I needed to get back into the mindframe of a woman that was in the process of proving she could run her own store.

 As I relaxed into Daddy’s chest, I felt myself relax. Even if I thought I needed to have all the answers for everything, I didn’t. I was allowed to be a nineteen year old girl. There was nothing wrong with me relying on Daddy for things. I could need him. I could trust in him. The were only two things he cared about, me and the baby. And I’d do anything to keep the baby safe.

 I was pulled into the darkness of sleep almost immediately. My body finding comfort in the man that was wrapped around me. My soul telling me the one thing that my mind was struggling with. There was no one on the planet that I could depend on except Daddy. I loved him, even if I couldn’t say the words right now. I just needed to take his words to heart. If he wasn’t going to leave me, I wasn’t ever going to leave him.^

#IllSlipAwayIntoThisSound

[sinfulmyrick]

When Your World Is Caving In (SL with @DayDividesNight, @GlamSweatSugar and @ALittleBitNice)

Cay: ^There was a lot going on. And I was drowning. But I wasn’t entirely sure I could tell anyone. Daddy and I had barely talked about what had happened. I knew it was bothering him as much as it bothered me. And we both felt like we were to blame. I knew my Daddy. I knew that he was going to beat himself up when this wasn’t his fault. It was mine. I was supposed to be fair to both of them. I was supposed to spend time with both of them.

But the truth was that the shop tended to bore Del more than Daddy. Daddy knew how to occupy himself. He needed a notebook and a pencil to occupy his time. That wasn’t who Del was. And I didn't begrudge him that. The problem came on the nights where we were all in the house together. It was naturally easier for me to curl up in Daddy’s lap than to go to Del. I didn’t have to explain to Daddy what I needed, he knew. He spent the most time with me in the shop. He knew how my day went. He knew when I was closing myself off to everything around us.

It was never that I didn’t try to include Del. It was just that running through the motions in preparing to own the shop was taking everything out of me. And then there was the baby. I had so many questions about what was going to happen. There was still the possibility that the baby was Del’s. And he had left without a word. There was no way to contact him, and that terrified me. What happened if the baby was his? He wouldn’t be able to run from me.

But Daddy was going to protect me at all costs. There was still a fifty/fifty chance that the baby was Daddy’s. And even if he wasn’t the biological father, he’d still be a dad to it. I just didn’t know what was going to happen. And that terrified me more than anything else.

I didn’t know how to bring up the subject of Del leaving with anyone. I knew I could talk to Cassidy about it. She’d be open to listening, and she’d get pissed at Del. It wasn’t just about hurting me, but he had also hurt Daddy. And Cassidy and Daddy were closer than I could have ever imagined. It was something I loved. He was too nurturing for his own good. He’d always take care of anyone that needed it. And while Cassidy had Mellie, Daddy took care of her in a way she needed.

But today was no different than any other day since Del had left. I could feel myself on the edge of an emotional breakdown. Daddy would ask what was wrong, and I shrug him off. It was nothing. Just hormones. It was quickly becoming an excuse that was overused. But I didn’t know what else to tell him. How did you tell the person you loved that your heart was breaking? I couldn’t breathe, and I stole minutes in the office just to let the tears fall. I couldn’t let Daddy see how broken I was. I had to be strong for him. Because I knew this was killing him as much as it was killing me.^

Myrick: -I watched as Cay piddled around the shop, but I could tell she looked lost. And I knew just how she felt. I had drawing to distract me when things got to be too much, but she didn’t always have that luxury, so I tried to let her have her space. I knew she escaped off to the office to have a breath from time to time, and when she returned, her eyes would be red, and puffy. But I didn’t push her. We both had a lot to work our way through.

That didn’t stop me from asking how she was, and I pretended to buy the hormone excuse. I knew that had it’s part to play in how she was feeling, but I didn’t have that excuse. I hadn’t known what made him leave, though I’d read Del’s note over and over again since we found it. I’d known him for years, and I still didn’t understand him, even in the slightest. He was gone. I couldn’t contact him, his phone didn’t work, and I didn’t even know where he might have gone.

I blamed myself, but I blamed him too. I planned to take care of Cay no matter what happened. My girl, and the baby in her stomach had become my world. I didn’t care whether it was mine or Del’s, both of them were mine, and I was going to treat them like that no matter what happened.

Something was going to have to change, but I wasn’t entirely certain what. And I felt like a failure for not being able to fix this for her. All I could do was be here for me when and if she decided that she was going to tell me how this really affected her. She’d slept in my arms every night since then, curled into my chest while I kept her snuggled close under the sheets. Leo was always curled up at her feet. It had only been a few days, but it felt like everything had changed, even in that short time.-

Lia: ^I didn’t know what the hell was going on. I knew there was something, but both Cay and Myrick were good at hiding everything. It also didn’t help that both Cassi and I were taking a more hands off approach to the store lately. Once Cay’s pregnancy was out, everything fell into place. And it wasn’t long after that I asked Cassi to marry me. And that was all I needed in my life.

As long as my girl was happy, I was happy. And right now, she wanted to put on another BDSM night at the club. But this was going to be different. She wanted it to be a completely safe place to scene. I still didn’t know what she was going on about. Her talks with Myrick were giving her some ideas, and I allowed her to let it happen. The club was her baby. I just gave it to her. It was the only role I wanted. I kept her in check when her dreams were too high, but I let her do what she wanted most of the time.  And this was what she wanted.

I had checked out when she started explaining everything to me, though. The only thing I was sure of was that she wanted the trio involved. She wanted them to all take their place on the stage. They all needed to do something. I had to remind her that Cay was pregnant, and if she wasn’t comfortable, she didn’t have to do it.

As soon as we were in the shop, it was like everything stopped. Cay looked like she was about to break down into tears, and Myrick was just fucking frozen behind the counter. I didn’t know what the hell was going on, but Cay’s greeting was complete and utter shit.^ You look like you haven’t slept in a week. And Cassi has a question for you guys when you get a chance.

Cassi: *I was behind Lia when she walked into the shop, but I could hear the tone in her voice when she greeted both of them. It made me quicken my step and pop into the room maybe a little unexpectedly. She wasn’t wrong. Cay looked like shit, and Myrick didn’t look any better. I didn’t know what was wrong, but I was already frowning.

My hands went to my hips of their own accord as I looked between both of them. Lia wasn’t going to pry, but I was. These two were my family, and I’d be damned if I was going to have them silently miserable.* What the fuck is even going on? *knitting my brows together was a habit I’d had since I was little, and I wasn’t going to stop it any time soon, even though I knew it made me look ridiculous when I was trying to be serious.*

And don’t even try to tell me it’s nothing. I can see you both, I know you both, and I know you’re both miserable about something. Tell me who I have to kick directly in the face. *I didn’t know what either of them was about to say, but I knew I was going to jump to the defensive and take their sides no matter what had happened. They were my people and I was going to defend my people even if it just meant me bitching and whining on their behalf.*

Cay:  ^My eyes were wide as Mellie and Cass walked in the door. They both were right on with the fact that we weren’t sleeping. We weren’t talking, either. There was a lot of nothing going on with me and Daddy. But we didn’t exactly know what to do with each other. There was too much doubt and hurt. And neither one of us could figure out how to vocalize that. At least, that was what I assumed.

Bringing my hand to my neck, I felt my fingers wrap around the tiny lock around my neck. The rose gold chain was a big change from the leather and lace collar I had been wearing. But with Del leaving, I couldn’t bring myself to put it around my neck. It wasn’t the same. But I couldn’t stop the tears from falling as Cass asked about who had hurt us. She didn’t know what she was asking, and I knew that. I also knew that her and Lia were not going to be expecting the answer.

I couldn’t stop the sobs that slipped from my chest as I thought about what was about to happen. Lia was going to kill Del, there was no doubt in my mind. She was too protective of me. And I knew that with Del leaving, she was hurt. She understood a part of him that no one else got to see.

I couldn’t look up at Daddy, either. I couldn’t bear to see the look on his face. Not with me breaking down. It was something I hadn’t exactly done. I hadn’t let him see this part of my pain. It hurt him to see me this way. I knew that. It was why I kept all of my breakdowns in the office. I couldn’t bear to put him through this kind of torture. My head just shook from side to side as I tried to get myself to calm down. I wasn’t going to be able to answer the question. It was something I just couldn’t do.^

Myrick: -I could see her break when Cassi just blurted out what was in her head. It was one of the endearing things about the girl I was quickly coming to think of as a sister, but also one of the things that could make being around her hard when you weren’t necessarily in a good place. I knew she didn’t mean to do anything, didn’t mean to bring up anything that hurt Cay or to widen the cracks in the fragile facade that she’d put up. But she had. Maybe that was what the two of us needed. We’d been dancing around the issue for far too long.

We were stuck; we had been since he walked out the door, and we had to do something. Neither of us knew what to do. I knew Cay wasn’t going to be able to answer Cassi’s question or the look on Lia’s face. That meant it was my job to do it. She was absolutely broken, and I was a little useless to fix her. I needed help, and the only two I could think of were Lia and Cass.

Cay had stopped wearing her collar. I’d noticed, but I hadn’t said anything. She was wearing the necklace I’d bought her the week after I’d made my first appearance at the shop, though. I got the whole collar thing. There were too many memories of all three of us tied up in that scrap of leather and lace for her to put it around her throat every day. It must have felt like it was choking the life out of her. I would have felt the same way. It was strange enough to wake up in the house I’d shared with him every day.

I cleared my throat, though I still choked on the words as they came up, my voice strained from disuse. I hadn’t spoken to anyone since I’d gotten up this morning, though this was the first time I’d realized it.- Del… He’s gone. -I took a deep breath and let it out. My chest ached like I’d been lifting weights all morning, though the only weight on it was actually vocalizing what had been going on with the two of us to anyone.- We don’t know where, or really why. He left a note. But that’s it.

-I glanced over at Cay, and I couldn’t stop myself from getting up out of the chair to pull her into my arms and crush her into my chest. I needed her there in my arms as much as she needed it right now, even if she didn’t ask for it. Burying my nose in the halo of red hair that surrounded her as I pulled her in tight, I pressed a kiss to the crown of her head as I murmured in a voice soft enough for only the two of us.- I’m sorry, Baby Love.

Lia: ^I wanted to kill him. The pain was written on both of them. And it was the one thing I had warned him about. They couldn’t find him, but I could. I had my resources, and I would jump on it. Del was going to answer for this. That was the one thing I could do for the two of them. I wasn’t going to bring him back to them, though. Myrick and Cay deserved so much better than this. This wasn’t going to be that kind of situation. Del was going to answer to me. It was a promise I made him when I first came to visit him in his townhouse.

My eyes went wide as I realized what that meant. Myrick and Cay were either still in that house, or they were staying in the apartment. I doubted they were upstairs, though. I hadn’t heard steps from the golden retriever I knew belonged to Myrick. The only option was the house. Which wasn’t healthy for them. But it wasn’t my place to step on their toes about where they wanted to live.

I knew they had a lot to work out, though. The way Cay was crying, and the way Myrick was clinging to her was like they hadn’t done a damn thing since Del had left. It wouldn’t surprise me with Cay. She didn’t always know how to get everything out. She liked to bottle everything up because it wasn’t anyone else’s responsibility to worry about anything that was wrong with her. I wanted to shake her and tell her to rely on Myrick. He was going to make it work for them. But I knew he was hurting, too. This didn’t just affect Cay. It affected Myrick just as much.

Walking to the back, I grabbed one of the bottles of water in the cooler between the shop and the club. I needed to get Cay to calm down, and water needed to go into her body. She needed to keep the baby in mind. I knew the baby was going to be a factor. No one knew who it belonged to, but I knew the truth. The baby would always be Myrick’s. It didn’t matter if Del was the biological father. Myrick was going to take care of her and the baby. Walking back to the counter, I placed the water on the counter.^ Drink. You need to calm down. I understand you’re upset about what he did, but there is one thing that is more important than even your feelings. There’s a child that didn’t ask for any of this stress. Take care of the baby first. Calm yourself down.

Cassi: *I sat there with my mouth open for a moment. I needed to process what was going on. I had absolutely no doubt that Lia was going to murder Del the moment she ever saw him again. I didn’t blame her for that. But I just wanted to wrap Cay and Myrick up in bubble wrap and keep them in my pocket so nothing could ever hurt them or that baby ever again.

He was wrapped up around her already, and I had to fight the urge to go squeeze them both to the best of my ability. I was tiny compared to him, and he was going to do a much better job of holding her together than I ever could. I just walked over and rested my head on Lia’s shoulder as Myrick took the bottle of water from her hand, twisting the top off before giving it to Cay.

I needed the two of them to be ok as much as I needed Lia and me to be ok. They really were my family, all the family I had in the world. And I felt like an asshole for just walking into the room and blurting out what I did. I hadn’t exactly been the one to hurt Cay, but I’d poked at a wound without realizing it.*

I’m sorry, guys. I just… *I didn’t know what to say so I just fell back on the only thing I really knew how to say.* I’m sorry. I love you both.

Cay: ^There was so much to say, and nothing to say at the same time. There was so much going through my mind, that I wasn’t sure I could focus. I knew I was wrapped up in Daddy, though. And as much as it didn’t feel like it, I knew that everything would be okay. I slowly started sipping at the water that had been handed to me.

I didn’t know what to say, though. I didn’t know how to respond to the I’m sorries that were starting to come. It wasn’t anything that Myrick or Cass had done. It was me. I hadn’t been good enough for him. I wasn’t trained well enough for him. I had done something wrong. I was to blame here. But I couldn’t focus on that. Those were the thoughts I had in the middle of the night. Those were the thoughts my nightmares were made of. And now was not the time to give them energy.^ You said you wanted to ask us something?

Myrick: -I glanced up at Cass without a word. I knew Cay wasn’t going to say anything. I didn’t know if there was anything to say, or if talking was just going to make things worse. It was like walking a tightrope, unsure of what was going to make the both of us go toppling over the edge.  I was going to try to hold the two of us together to the best of my abilities. That’s all I really could do.

I had no way of knowing was Cass was going to ask the two of us. Hopefully it was something that would at least our minds off the back and forth monotony of trying to live daily life without talking about the biggest thing that had happened to the two of us lately.-

Cassi: *I watched the two of them for the moment until Cay spoke, glad that they had each other at least. They were going to get through this. I was going to make sure of it. The two of them deserved to be happy, and they deserved it together. Hopefully, the idea I’d come up with would be something to keep their minds off of all of this.*

I wanted to do another theme night at the club, and I wanted you to participate in it. Both of you actually. *My original intention had been for the three of them to be on stage as part of the evening, but the two of them were more than enough. I needed them to be there. I wanted them to be a part of everything. The two of them were absolutely in love, that much was clearly obvious to anyone who was looking. It was just nice to look at. They were just what I wanted for the night in the club to be perfect.*

Lia: ^I could see the hesitation written on Myrick’s face. I knew he wasn’t going to immediately jump on board. It was going to take some time for him and Cay to talk it through. It was absolutely something I wanted the two of them to do, especially knowing that they were alone. They were going to isolate themselves if they stayed in that house without Del. It wasn’t something I wanted for them. I wanted them to work it out.

I could see the hopeful look on Cassi’s face. She wanted them to be okay. She needed it to happen. I wasn’t surprised. She loved the two of them. Myrick was her big brother, and Cay had been her best friend since the moment they met. It was my job to make sure that Cassi got whatever made her happy. But I knew this was going to be something that was delicate. It wouldn’t be an answer we could have right away.^ The night that Cassi wants to do is, of course, another BDSM night. The last one was a success, and Cay handled it beautifully. This time, we want to add a little something to it. Before, it was free reign on the floor as long as there was consent. This time, we’d like to add a few scenes up on the stage. And Cass was hoping the two of you would take a slot on the main stage. It would be up to the two of you to decide what you want.

As far as the rest of the night, Cay I was hoping you could reach out to a few of the other Doms that come in and out of here on a daily basis. See if you can get some of them to perform as well. It’ll be a thing that goes on all night. And we’d love to have the two of you host. ^Clearing my throat, I let my eyes focus on Myrick. He needed to hear this as much as I needed to say it. It was my way of acknowledging their relationship for what it was.^ I know this isn’t your scene. I know you’d much rather be home with her in your lap all night. But I think it’ll be good for the two of you. And I couldn’t ask just Cay to do it. Not when she’s your Baby Love. She’d be in front of Doms all night, and she’d have to interact with them. I would never dream of insisting she do it without you. Take some time to think about it. Talk it over. Cassi and I are just toying with the idea right now. Feel free to say no.

^Wrapping my arm around my girl’s hip, I pulled her into my side and pressed a kiss to her temple. There was stuff we needed to do for this wedding, and I wanted to give Myrick and Cay the chance to talk about the idea. I wasn’t sure how they were going to take it, but it was opening a door. We were giving them something else to focus on. Without so much as another word, I was pulling my girl out of the shop she had once loved.^

Cay: ^I could only blink as Cass and Mellie left. It was like they knew we needed something else to talk about. Maybe it would lead to us talking about what was going on, but for now, it was something different to focus on. We didn’t have to talk about the fact that Del was gone. We could plan this entire night.

But I was nervous. The last time I had been in the club, I met Del. And from there, I met Daddy. It wasn’t going to be easy putting myself back in that position, but I could do it. As long as I had Daddy next to me. But I knew the truth. He wasn’t going to want to do this. He was going to want to stay at home with Leo. I didn’t blame him. Daddy was a homebody. It was something I liked. I didn’t have to pretend to be sick. I could stay home with him.

Taking a breath, I let my eyes focus on the man who was holding me together. He wanted nothing more than to take care of me. And I was shutting him out. But I didn’t know what else to do. Was there anything to do? We could talk. We needed to talk, but I wasn’t sure we were ready to go down that road. I could feel myself starting to slip so my words were soft as I tried to keep my emotions at bay.^ This is your call, Daddy. I know clubbing isn’t really your scene. I don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. I could just host for the night. I’ll wear a collar so it’s evident that I’m taken, but don’t feel like you need to do this.

Myrick: -Cay knew me. She knew my idea of a good night was being curled up on the couch with my dog and my Little Girl. But there was no way I was going to leave her to host a night at the club on her own. I hadn't ever done a scene in front of anyone. Well, anyone other than the person I was working with. I didn't even think I'd been in the club when it was open. But with her, it was something I’d be willing to try.

Honestly, it was only with her that I’d be able to do it, to shut out the fact that we were surrounded by other people and focus on the fact that it was just the two of us together. And I knew it was something the two of us needed; at least we needed to focus on something other than the fact that the house we were in seemed ridiculously empty at the moment. Planning this night would give us something to talk about, something to do rather than sulk. We had to talk, maybe not about Del at first, but talking was something we desperately needed.

I could only press a soft kiss to the top of her head before pulling away slightly- I want to do this together. With you. If you want me here.

Cay: ^I wasn’t entirely sure how to take his answer. I knew the truth. This wasn’t his first choice for a night. Daddy would have rather spent the night with me on the couch or cuddled in bed. But the truth had to have been written on my face. I needed to think about something besides our life. I needed distracted. I needed to be away from this. I couldn’t begin to delve into those emotions. I wasn’t entirely ready for it.

And the truth was that I was only going to do it if he wanted to be there with me. I wasn’t sure I could do it without him. I needed him by my side in all of this. I was barely keeping it together on a good day. And if I was going to be surrounded by Doms, I was going to need him to hold me together.^ You know we can just host the night, we don’t have to scene if you’re not comfortable with it. I’m not even sure how you feel about letting others see me that way.

^It was something we hadn’t ever really talked about. But it was something we needed to address now. I knew how I felt about it, though. I wanted to people to see me with him. I wanted to prove to others that I knew how to please my Daddy. I needed to prove that I was good enough for him. I needed to be good enough for him.

I couldn’t help the spiral I had been in lately. And Daddy didn’t hold that against me. I hadn’t felt like I was good enough for anyone since Del had left. I wasn’t the perfect girl I had been told I was. I didn’t know how to come to terms with that. What I did know was that I needed to be good enough for Daddy. I needed to be able to please him. I needed him to show me off to the world. But it wasn’t something I was ever going to push him on.^ Please tell me no if you don’t want to do this.

Myrick: -I could only tug her closer in the moment. I knew she needed this, and it was in my power to give it to her. So it was a simple answer on my part. Planting a small kiss on the crown of her head as I tugged her closer. It wasn’t something I’d ever done in my life, but it was something I was willing to try, especially if she was with me.

Actually, only if she was with me. There was no one else I was ever going to be able to do this with except her. Pulling away to plant a soft kiss on her lips before I cupped her chin and brought her gaze up to meet mine.- I’m not telling you no. You’re my Little Girl, and showing the world that is something I think we ought to do. -smiling as I rested my forehead against hers.

Del had disappeared without a word, and left the two of us in shreds. This was the first step in building that back up, in showing her she was more than enough for me, and in showing the world that she was mine. We could hide away back at the townhouse and slowly disintegrate until there was nothing left of the two of us. Or we could take this kind of step and do something that brought us together. I was picking the latter. I needed to fight for the two of us, and I needed her to have something to keep her mind on, a way to know that she was worth all of this and more.

I could tell her, and I tried, but showing her was going to be the best way I could handle this-

Cay: ^I wanted to bring up what had happened. I wanted to talk about it. I needed to talk about it, but I wasn’t sure if Daddy wanted that. And for now, the best thing was to keep it locked away. I knew it was eating at the two of us. This was not something we needed to be avoiding. But avoiding was a game I played well.

I still didn’t know if I should go through with this. I didn’t want to force Daddy into doing anything, but I also knew that I wasn’t forcing him. Just because he said yes now did not mean he was going to mean it later, and I was okay with that. I also knew that he was giving this to me because I needed something to focus on.

I wasn’t sure where I was going to start, but I knew I could give into the opportunity to do this. The only thing that was going through my head was that I needed to take care of the baby. I couldn’t stress too much over anything, but I could lean on Daddy. Over the past few months, he had proven that he had my back when no one else seemed to care.^ I know you’re doing this for me. And I appreciate it more than you know. I love you, Daddy.

^I bit my bottom lip as I thought about what I was going to say next. I knew what needed to be said. I knew he needed to hear it just as much as I needed to say it. But I still wasn’t sure how to move on from this. I just knew that we needed to.^ There’s not a lot I can say right now. I know we’re both dancing around the issue. But I love you. And I just hope I’m enough for you. Because I don’t feel like I’m good enough for anyone. I don’t know how to be enough for anyone. Being myself got me hurt. And I don’t know where to go.

Myrick: -I knew exactly what she meant, and I’d been through that moment myself. I had a hard time wrapping my head around my feelings and an even harder time letting myself have the things I wanted. I’d taken a long time to come to terms with the fact that I might return the feelings Del had claimed to have for me, and then he was gone. Like that, without a single word, nothing other than a note with a sorry excuse for a goodbye. I knew what it felt like to blame yourself for that, to feel like what you were offering wasn’t enough to make someone stay. Del had just been the last in a line of people who I’d never been enough for that stretched all the way back to my parents.

I couldn’t let that stop me from trying though. If I did, I was going to lose the last things I had left, Cay and the baby. I was going to hold on to the two of them with everything I had left in me. And I was going to make sure that I was everything that the two of them needed, because they were most certainly everything that I could ever imagine wanting.

We needed to talk this out, but I didn’t know if this was the time or not. I did know that the time was coming, sooner or later, when we weren’t going to be able to avoid this conversation, and I was going to be there for that too. For now, I let the smile that I really felt go across my face when she said she loved me. I believed her. And I felt precisely the same. -  You’re more than enough for me. Trust me, Baby Love. You’re more than I ever thought I’d find. I adore you. I know how it feels to not be enough, and to be afraid to be yourself. But I’m here, we’re here together. I���m going to be right here until we figure this out together.

-I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around her and bring Cay crushing gently into my chest, pulling her into a hug that I wasn’t willing to let her out of soon. I needed her here. And it was getting late. She needed her rest.- So why don’t we go home and take a night to ourselves? It’s almost time to close the shop and Amelia won’t kill me for closing up fifteen minutes early tonight, not after that conversation. So we take you and this baby home and get everyone comfy. God knows, we both need the rest, so does the baby. -leaning down to steal another kiss- Besides, I need to get my Little Girl in my arms for the night.

-I barely waited for the nod of assent from her before I stole a kiss and set about the business of preparing the shop to close for the night, moving to lock the till up in the safe, deciding to let it wait to be counted in the morning when we returned in exchange for getting my girl and the baby home all the more quickly. I needed her there as much as I felt like she needed to be there. The two of us needed each other, even if she thought I didn’t need her as much as she needed me. It was one of the few things she was dead wrong about, and I intended to show her that back at home-

#WhenYourWorldIsCavingIn

[sinfulmyrick]

You’re My Light In The Dark (SL with @LustByTheHour and @DayDividesNight)

Myrick: -Things had been a little surreal in the last few days since Del had come to the shop. I’d had a lot to think about and a lot to process. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I was more than certain I wanted to give it a try. I owed it to myself as much as I owed it to both of them. I’d spent so much of my life trying to avoid what I was and trying to be the thing my mother and father had expected me to be. I’d made sure that part of my life was over when I moved to the city. Del and I had a lot to talk about, there was every possibility that it was going to blow up in our faces, but it was worth it. I couldn’t live with myself without at least giving it a fair shot.

Dinner was on the stove, sizzling away in a couple of pots and pans, while Leo walked around in the background, nuzzling my hand to get some attention while I watched the food to make sure it didn’t burn. Del was in the next room over, watching something mindless on YouTube on the big screen TV in the living room. Cooking always fell to me. He was terrible at it, I was mediocre, but I wasn’t going to burn the townhouse down, at least.

The sound of the doorbell woke me out of my concentration on the stove in front of me and sent me walking into the hall to calm Leo’s barking. I had no idea who would be ringing the doorbell this time of day. I was usually at the store with Cay, but she’d told me she had some stuff to take care of, so I’d been spending the day at home. She hadn’t been back here since the first day when she’d come home with Del, but if it wasn’t her, then I had no idea who it could me. Del stuck his head out of the doorway to the living room with his brows furrowed and followed me into the foyer as I moved to open the door and see who was waiting on the other side.-

Cay: ^I could only smile as Leo barked from behind the heavy wood door. As much as he was a sweetheart, he still protected what was his. And Myrick and Del were the ones he protected. I had missed him, though. I wanted to see him, but I hadn’t ever felt like running into Del. There was too much temptation. But it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered at this point except me and the baby.

Jesus God. I was pregnant. It was something that was a warning as a child. Girls who didn’t go to church religiously wound up alone and pregnant. I was suddenly one of those girls. But I knew the truth. I wasn’t ever going to be alone. It didn’t matter whose child this was, both of them would hold my hand through all of it.

I was holding my breath as Daddy opened the door. The look of shock on his face was startling. I knew what he was thinking. I was supposed to be at the shop. That’s what I had told him. But it was all a ruse. I just needed to digest this information alone.

I didn’t wait for him to invite me in before I pushed my way in the house. I had been walking around in the cold, and I was finally starting to feel the chill. My voice was a hollow shell as I quickly pulled my jacket off, revealing the white button up that went along with my tattered plaid skirt and black heels.^ Can the three of us talk? There’s something I need to tell you both.

^Again, I didn’t wait for a response before I headed right for the living room. I let a small smile creep along my lips as Leo followed behind me. I guess I was still one of the only people he came right to without calling. Me and Myrick, I presumed. Kicking off my heels, I curled into a tiny ball with Leo under my feet as I waited for Myrick to get settled.^

Del: -Cay breezed past me after coming into the hallway to plop down on the couch along with the dog without even saying a real hello. To be honest, she kind of had my curiosity piqued. I had no idea what the hell it could be that she needed to talk to us both about, but this was the first time she’d been in the house since everything happened, and I wasn’t about to fuck it up now. I walked in along behind her, sitting at the couch that faced her and settled into the cushions. I wasn’t sure if she wanted me next to her or not, but I wasn’t going to be far away no matter what.

Myrick didn’t take long to pop himself into the room behind her, moving to the seat beside her and Leo, his hand stroking through the dog’s fur as he looked over at her expectantly. I decided I needed to be the one to break the ice since neither of us had actually spoken yet- So Beautiful, this is clearly something big. Why don’t you just go ahead and tell us?

-I was blunt; I always was, and there was no tempering it now when she had me more than just a little nervous. I had no way of knowing what she was going to say, and I was terrified she was about to tell the two of us that she just couldn’t do this anymore when we’d finally just seemed to find our places-

Myrick: -I settled nervously into the seat, going back to my habit of stroking a hand along Leo’s back to soothe the both of us. I wasn’t surprised at the way he followed Cay to the couch and curled up along with her. There weren’t many people he was that friendly with. Not that he was a bad dog, just kind of shy. I’d been amazed when he’d gone to her the first day, and now he took to her like she’d been here for years, even though it was only her second time seeing him. I kind of loved him for that. Almost like he loved our girl as much as I did.

I had no clue what Cay was going to say, but i was going to give her every chance to say it. She was here for the first time in weeks, and I was ready to listen- Go on, Baby Love. We’re listening.

Cay: ^They were both looking at me like I was about to end their world. And in a way, I kind of was. But it wasn’t what they were thinking. Not even close. They thought was I was about to walk away from them. I couldn’t, though. Even if the baby wasn’t a factor. I was forever drawn to the two of them.

I kept my eyes on the floor as I tried to think of the words that needed to come out of my mouth. I had to apologize to Daddy, first and foremost. I could feel my hands start to shake as my eyesight got blurry with tears. This wasn’t in any way easy for me. My voice was almost broken as I turned to Daddy. I had to get through this.^ I lied to you, Daddy. I haven’t been at the shop at all today. I begged Mellie and Cass to give me a day off because I needed to go to the doctor. I told them it was something that you wanted me to do.

^Clearing my throat, I looked back down at the floor as I felt the panic start to kick in. This could be a complete disaster. I could feel my stomach flipping as I tried to keep myself from freaking out completely. But there was only so much I could do. I could lie, again. I could tell them it was nothing. But now I was scaring them to death. Especially with the way I was reacting.^ When I was counting the tills after you and Sir left, I got hit with a very startling realization. And I needed to know the truth. So I lied to you. I told you that I had stuff to do around the shop. The truth was that I did go to the doctor. And I found out that I am pregnant.

Myrick: -I followed what she was saying, though the words were coming out in a jumble. I could her her panicking. My mind wandered over all the things that she could be about to say. She went to the doctor. Was there something wrong with her? My mind rolled through the thousand possibilities, and then her last sentence registered.

Pregnant. She was pregnant, and she was here to tell us both because, at least right now, there was no way of knowing which of us was the father. I kind of froze for a minute, not quite sure how to react. My first response was to be excited though. And I knew she was terrified. It only took me a moment to process my thoughts on the whole thing. It didn’t really matter whose baby it was. It belong to all of us in my head. Leaning in to gather her into my side in spite of the dog between us, I planted a kiss on her temple. I had no way of knowing how Del was going to react, and I didn’t care. But if the change in his behavior lately was any indication, things were going to work out.

I whispered to her, my lips brushing across her ear.- You could have told me, you know? It’s ok. I get it. And I’m going to have to admit I’m a little excited.

Del: -I watched the two of them for a moment before I got up off my place on the couch and slid into the space left vacant by Cay when Myrick pulled her into his side. I was smart enough to figure this out. She was pregnant. And it was one of ours.

The first wave that hit me after the shock wore off was fear, but then I thought about things. Fuck it. I’d spent enough time running from shit. I wasn’t running anymore. And I wasn’t running from her. I was in love with Cay whether I wanted to admit it or not. So maybe this wasn’t what we planned, but it was for god damned sure what happened. And I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d rather share this with than these two- Well, fuck me. -reaching out to run the back of my hand across her cheek out of instinct- I want you to move in here with the two of us. If we’re going to be a family then we ought to be here together. And before you say shit, no I don’t give a flying fuck whose baby it is. It’s ours.

Cay: ^I could only sniffle as I listened to both of them. I could have done it with them. I could have gone to the doctor with Daddy. I didn’t have to do this on my own. But I needed to. I had to get used to the idea in my head before I could come to either one of them. I could only watch Daddy, though. As soon as Sir said the baby was ours, I knew what he meant. The baby belonged to the three of us. Sir would be a Daddy to the baby, even if it was Daddy’s baby. Sir was serious about trying things with all three of us. And I could see the hesitation melt away from Daddy with Sir’s words.

But I had to think about what Sir had just said. He wanted me to move in. I couldn’t lie. It was the one thing I wanted. But at the same time, I had to take the shop into consideration. The reason I was supposed to own the shop was because I practically lived there. I could take care of everything easily because I was right there. If I moved here, there was going to be somethings that I couldn’t do as easily. Granted, those things were going to go out the window the more I thought about being pregnant.^ I need to talk to Mellie and Cass. They need to know what’s going on. Cass is going to go nuts and spoil this baby. Probably more than the three of us combined.

^My eyes focused on Daddy as I cracked a smile. He wanted all of this just as much as Sir did. And I could absolutely give it to them. But I wasn’t about to invade their space. I also didn’t want to incite a fight between the two of them if I didn’t have my own space. I didn’t want them fighting over who I was sleeping with.^ I’ll move some of my stuff in. I still have to worry about the shop. There are some nights I won’t be able to be here logistically. But I get my own room. I need my own space. Especially since the two of you are so far apart in the dom spectrum. I’ll need space to transition. And I get Leo. Every night. No questions asked.

Myrick: -I opened my mouth to start a reply and suddenly remembered the food I’d left cooking on the kitchen stove, moving away from Cay with a mumbled curse- Shit… -realizing I needed to explain myself to both of them before they took my response the wrong way- I left dinner on the stove. Give me a minute before I set the house on fire?

-All it took was Cay’s giggle for a grin to spread across my face, and then I hurried out of the room. It gave me a moment to think about things on my own. I wanted this, more than I knew how to say, but even more than that, I wanted it with the both of them. Del rushing over to her side and calling the baby ours hit me more than I was going to admit at the moment. I figured the time would come where I could pull him to the side and talk to him or talk to them both, but for now, the thought of the three of us being a family, with a baby on the way, made me happier than I remembered being in my life.

It was second nature for me to pull three plates down from the cupboard and begin preparing dinner for all three of us for the first time together. Three plates… Three sets of silverware… Three glasses… It was right, even righter than making two of everything.

There was no way I was going to be able to carry all three plates at once into the room beyond. So I grabbed the first one, a plate of gnocchi I’d been working on making from scratch since the beginning of the day, and carried it into the living room, placing it down on the table in front of Cay- Baby Love, I need you to eat. And you can have Leo whenever you want. -leaning down to press a kiss to her temple with a soft laugh- I can’t blame him for liking you better than me anyway. I’ll be back in a minute. -moving to go get my own plate before I remembered that Del’s was in the kitchen too.

Glancing over at Del with a nod- Yours is on the kitchen counter. I figured we would eat in here since it’s more comfy than the dining room if that’s alright with you. -raising an eyebrow with a smile-

Del: -I couldn’t help but laugh as I pushed myself up from the cough- Baby Girl, we will be right back. -tagging along behind Myrick as he walked into the kitchen to grab his plate. I knew we needed to talk and there would be time for it later. Tonight, we were going to have dinner with our girl. She deserved that much and a whole hell of a lot more.

My mind ran to her requests as I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the plate. It was a quick trip, only a minute to walk into the other room and grab a plate, but it was long enough to think about a few things. There were a couple of empty bedrooms in the house, but the other one was on the same floor as mine. The third floor was a pain in the ass on a bad day, and if she was pregnant, there was no way she was going to want to walk up four flights of stairs with swollen ankles and all that. The one at the end of the hall on the first floor was perfect.

It was almost the biggest room in the house, and it had it’s own bathroom ensuite so she could have her privacy if she needed it. There was a dressing room attached with a walk in closet. It had been my grandmother’s room when she lived here, and the dressing room had been my father’s nursery. It was only fitting that it should be Cay’s now. I sat back down in my place on the couch, Myrick flanking Cay’s other side as we settled in- I know the perfect room for you, if you want it. It’s on the first floor. We can walk down there and look at it when we’re done eating if you want.

Cay: ^I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face as Daddy handed me the plate. Setting it on the table in front of me, I slipped down onto the floor with the table sitting just above my chest. Looking down at the plate, I felt my stomach grumble at the gnocchi. It had always been one of my favorite dishes, and I couldn’t wait to dig into it.

Waiting for it to cool, I let my head rest on the spot I had just slipped from. I had to think everything through about work. I knew I had to talk to Mellie before any of this was official. And I knew that while I talked to Mellie, I could get Myrick to talk to Cass. We could get everything figured out. And I would feel better if I went in with a plan for what was about to happen while I was somewhat out of the picture.^ So, I know this isn’t something that either one of you needs, but I need to do it. I need to have a plan in place when I go to talk to Mellie. I need to show her that I’m still responsible. That I can still handle running the shop even if there are restrictions on me.

^I bit down on my bottom lip as I thought about what I was about to ask them. I could make it work for them. There were two deliveries a week. We could keep the apartment above the shop for the nights where I was staying there. One of the guys could stay with me to receive the shipment and then crawl back into bed with me after. I knew I could ask Myrick to handle the shop deliveries. I could only hope Del would handle the deliveries for the club.^ Twice a week, I’d have to stay at the apartment. At least for now. And I figured one of you could stay with me each night? Tuesday nights could be with Daddy because I get shop deliveries. Thursday nights with Sir for club deliveries? Would the two of you be open to helping me out in the shop even without the shipments? Because there’s still some stuff I won’t be able to do. And I can trust the two of you to help me.

Myrick:  -I’d basically been living at the shop since I’d found Cay again. And Cassi had been showing me things around there when Cay wasn’t looking. I knew more about the place than she knew, and I knew that someone being there to get the shipments was one of the more important things. Cay being there saved Amelia and Cass a lot of work, and time they could be spending together. And I knew how much Cay loved having responsibility for things around there. I was more than willing to help out- Baby Love, I’ll be there whenever you need me there. And do whatever you need me to do. It’s not like I’m busy working around here. I’m sure the days I’m working Del can figure out how to feed himself -laughing softly as I move to run a hand through her hair.

I had no idea what Del was going to say, but I was going to be there whatever she needed.-

Del: -What Cay was asking wasn’t much. There wasn’t any way she was going to be able to do it on her own without help from the two of us. And to ask one night a week from each of us was only fair. Plus it gave me the opportunity to have to her to myself from time to time. I had to admit the selfish side of me liked that idea. There were moments when I wanted both of them, just to surround myself with the family I’d chosen over the one I’d been born into.

There were other times when I felt the need to have one or the other of them to myself. We had a lot to work out, but I knew that whatever we figured out, we were going to make this work. If not out of selfishness then out of care for the baby. I knew one thing for certain, this kid wasn’t going to be brought up the way I had been or the way Ricky had been. They weren’t going to be mountains of expectations heaped on their head before they were able to walk, and whatever they needed to be, they were going to have room to be.

I was pretty sure that both Cay and Myrick were going to kick my ass if I ever started to turn out anything like my father.- Then we do it. I’ll take whatever night the club delivery is. He will take the shop. And you can show me how to work all the rest of the shit around there. We will figure it out. -grinning at the way Myrick ran his fingers through her hair as I spoke-

Cay: ^I could only purr softly as Daddy’s fingers ran through my hair. I was pleased with both of them agreeing to help. Biting down on my bottom lip, I turned my attention to Sir. A small smile was on my lips as I thought about everything. There was no doubt in my mind that he would do anything to make me happy. It was who he was.^ I know we have a lot to figure out. Especially with the three of us. But I want you to come with me to talk to Mellie, Sir. I’m pretty sure you owe her a few thank yous.

^I hadn’t ever been stupid. I knew Mellie was the one that kicked Sir’s ass into talking to me and Daddy. And I owed her everything because of it. But she also ensured that I wouldn’t have to go through this alone. I had two men that would do anything I asked. She gave me everything that completed my life.^ Thank you for accepting all of this. You both could have turned me away when I said I was pregnant. But you didn’t. You just accepted it, and love me for it.

^I didn’t want to assume anything about Sir’s feelings. But I was half in love with him. I always had been. And it was something Daddy never held against me. It made me love my Daddy more. He encouraged me to explore those feelings. And it was one of the things I was most excited to do.

Turning my attention back to the food in front of me, I quickly speared a couple of gnocchis before popping them into my mouth. I knew what I wanted to say, and I knew it would make both of them happy.^ Can I stay here tonight? I mean, we can go back to the shop to talk to Mellie and Cass tonight, but I want to be here. We can get some of my stuff from the apartment and slowly start moving me in. But I need to be under the same roof as both of you.

Del: -nodding as I watched Cay eat, less interested in the food on the plate in front of me than in the girl who sat on the floor between us. We had a lot to talk about, with Amelia and Cassidy, but also between ourselves. I had no idea what Myrick was thinking, but some of the things he’d said tonight had gotten the gears turning. There was time. In fact, there was nothing but time, because I was in this for the long haul.

The spare room at the end of the hall was ready for guests like it always was. I had a housekeeper in here and she changed the sheets every so often and made sure the bathroom was clean and stocked with everything someone might need to spend the night. You never knew around here when someone might pop in. Sometimes it would be months, other times they would appear out of nowhere. That room was Cay’s now, and whatever she wanted to do with it was going to happen, though I wasn’t telling her that yet. I was certain that between Myrick giving in to every single whim his Little Girl had, and me deciding that this was the one thing I needed more than air that she was going to get everything she asked for and even the things she didn’t. -

You can stay here whenever you want, Baby Girl. You don’t have to even ask. Just show up. I’ll get you a key made tomorrow, and I’ll give you the number for my driver so you can go wherever you want, whenever you want, okay?

-I couldn’t stop myself from running the side of my foot along her thigh where she sat curled up on the floor in front of the coffee table eating with a soft chuckle-

Myrick: -I just kind of sat back and observed the scene in front of me, more than little absorbed in the fact that this was how it could always be if we were here together. The gears were turning because this just felt right, for the first time in a long time, maybe the first time ever. There was nothing missing or out of place. No one was fighting any part of them. It reminded me of when I’d finally come to terms with the fact that I was a Daddy, when I reconciled the part of myself that needed that and the part of myself that desired the “normality” I’d been brought up to.

I didn’t want to be my parents. I knew what kind of cost that type of normal came at. It came at cutting off parts of you that were vital to being alive, making yourself fit the form of what everyone else thought you should be. Del had always been good at bucking those types of expectations and just being unapologetically who he was, or at least who he thought he should be. His problem was knowing when to stop pushing everyone away and actually give someone a chance, even if it meant giving them a chance to hurt you. And mine was always the opposite, knowing when to be selfish, knowing when to take hold of something that I wanted and never let it go, even when it didn’t meet the expectations of everyone around me.

This was what I wanted, and I wanted it with both of them. There was no use denying it, as nervous as it made me and as much as I hadn’t thought that was a part of who I was. I hadn’t thought a lot of things were part of who I was, but I’d been proven wrong over and over. The only thing to do for it then had been to accept it, to wrap my head around it and work it into my life. It worked for me once before, so why did I even question that it was going to work this time?

My hand strayed though her hair, and I glanced up at Del with a smile before returning my attention to my plate. There were a lot of things we needed to talk about, all three of us, and we needed to bring in Cassi and Amelia as soon as we could. There was so much going on that it was probably going to take a few days for all of it to hit me, but we had time. That was the beautiful thing about this. As long as all three of us were committed to it, we had all the time in the world-

Cay: ^There was something about having the three of us here together. It was fitting. I belonged with the two of them. Even when I felt like I deserved nothing, they were going to be there to remind me that I did. I needed to be reminded that this wasn’t the end of the world. I was going to be okay. Nothing was going to matter as long as I was here.

I still didn’t know how this was going to work. I didn’t know how Daddy was feeling about Sir confessing his feelings. But I needed to get some things settled in my mind. I needed everyone to know that this wasn’t going to be easy on me. There were going to be days where I wasn’t going to be able to do anything. There were days I wasn’t going to be ablet to be who they wanted me to be.^

I know things are going to be trial and error here. I want to spend as much time with both of you that I can. But the truth is that there is going to be times where I just want my Daddy, or I just want my Sir. And I need the two of you to be okay with that. There may be times where I want both of you together, but I’m not pressuring either of you to do something you’re not comfortable with.

^My eyes were focused on Daddy as I said that because I didn’t know where he was in his head. I knew he was completely on board with me exploring my feelings for Sir. And I had told him to take the time he needs to figure it all out. The last thing I could ever want was for Daddy to push himself into something he wasn’t ready for. I couldn’t handle the idea of him resenting me. Turning my head to my other side, I felt my hands push the plate further back on the table as I curled up into a small ball with my knees to my chest. I wasn’t sure how to approach this, but it was something I needed to talk about. I let my eyes fall on Sir as I tried to gather the small amount of courage I needed to go to the next topic.^

I want to spend time with you in the playroom. I want you to be my Sir. There has never been a doubt in my mind about it. But I don’t think I can do a complete 24 hour a day, 7 days a week with you. From one night together, I know how our relationship will play out. And it’s not going to be healthy for me. I also can’t bounce between the two halves of my personality so quickly. Being Daddy’s Little Girl is different. It’s not a side of me I ever knew was there, but it is the most dominant side of my personality. I was meant to be his Little Girl all the time. And as much as I want to be your submissive, Sir, I can’t put my mental health at risk.

Del: -I knew what she was saying right away, and I understood. I didn't know how to tell her I couldn't be that for her all the time.  I would have tried if she'd wanted, and I would have burnt myself out in the process. Something like the first time we were together took a lot out of me. There was a reason I’d passed out and slept so hard I didn’t even know she’d left the bed in the morning.- Cay, I know you’ve got no way of knowing this, neither of you do, but after a night like the first one we had together, I fall hard. I drop into exhaustion and just get worn the hell out. That’s why I haven’t had people spend the night, why I haven’t taken on a sub full-time ever in my life, why I’ve never even really had a girlfriend. I mean, I’ve dated people, I’ve had regular subs I saw from time to time, but never full time. I’d probably kill myself with exhaustion if I tried. I don’t have a problem with not being 24/7, and you’re right. The whole Daddy thing is a natural extension of Ricky’s personality. It’s like breathing, so doing that all day is just living for him.

-I shrugged and moved in closer, feeling a little vulnerable at admitting something to the two of them I wasn’t sure I’d ever told anyone before. In fact thinking back on it, I was pretty damn certain I never had. But if this was going to work, I was going to have to trust the both of them with everything I had.- I don’t just want you as a submissive anyway, Baby Girl. I want a whole hell of a lot more than that. You’re a whole hell of a lot more than that. -It was all I knew how to say to her. I loved her. More than I’d loved anyone ever. I loved the man sitting opposite me, but in a different way. This was my family and this was where I belonged-

Myrick: -I could read the look in Cay’s face when she looked up at me as she was talking, but I let Del answer without interrupting. There was a lot there I could address. She was right about it being easy to be 24/7 for me, and so was he. They knew me well enough to understand that, probably better than I did myself. I needed to talk to Del and figure out what we were doing, but I knew it was going to be something. Cay was talking about all three of us, and I found my mind drifting to a few places. It was something I wanted, at least wanted to try. I wanted to give all of this a chance, but I needed to talk it out with them each one-on-one before I knew for certain what was going to happen.

Del was over there, being more sincere than I’d heard in a really long time, since I’d first met him. He was usually untouchable, invulnerable, and just beyond anything that might reach him. Tonight, he was far more defenseless than I’d ever seen. I decided to let the two of them talk this out for now. I didn’t need to intercede, but I was listening, deciding where this was going for sure before I spoke-

If you two will excuse me, I’m going to go wash up in the kitchen. -Dipping down to press a kiss to the top of Cay’s head before I scooped the empty plates up in my hands to carry off to the sink, pausing to whisper against her ear- I love you, Baby Love. -before I stood back up and made my way across the hallway into the room I spent the most time in.-

Cay: ^I could only hum softly as Daddy told me he loved me. There was still so much to talk about with all three of us, but I felt somewhat blessed he was giving us some time just by ourselves. Standing from the floor, I settled myself back in Del’s lap. This wasn’t about being his sub. This was just about us being together and getting our cards on the table.^ I know Mellie probably told you everything about me. So I’m not going to get into that too much. But what you need to know is that I’ve never felt this way about one guy, let alone two. You and Daddy complete me in a way I never thought possible. I didn’t have much in the way of boyfriends when I was growing up. We weren’t allowed to date. It wasn’t the catholic way. We weren’t allowed until we were eighteen. So this whole dating thing is new to me, too. And I just stumbled upon the two of you.

^Taking a breath, I wrapped my arms around Del’s neck and pressed my lips to his in a gentle kiss. Pulling back, I let myself relax in his lap. I knew this was where I was supposed to be. I was meant to be working this out. I wanted the three of us to be something more than what we were.^ I know the three of us need to figure everything out. But this? Us? I think this is right. I think that as long as you’re okay with me not submitting every second of every day, we’ll be fine. As long as you accept my feelings for both you and Daddy, we’ll be okay. It’s just about communication.

Del: -I let her relax into my frame, melting into the kiss, the first one I’d gotten from her since she came here the first time. My hands snaked their way around her waist and pulled her closer. This was right. This was exactly what I wanted, and it didn’t bother me that she had feelings for the man clanking around the kitchen. So did I, to be honest. I couldn’t blame her for feeling something that I felt myself. I leaned in and pressed another kiss to her lips, lingering there for a moment before I pulled away to speak- Then we communicate. And I could say all the same things to you. We have a lot to figure out, but it’s going to work out. I’m going to talk, and I’m going to listen. I’m not going to lose you now. -leaning my forehead against hers to look into her eyes.

I needed her to know I meant every word I said to her, that I was going to do whatever I needed to do to keep from losing her or him. I had a family starting up for the first time in my life, and I wasn’t going to lose it now-

Cay: ^I nodded against Del’s head as I felt the honesty in the moment wash over us. There was only one thing missing, and that was very easily remedied. All I needed to do was call him back. I could hear him finish up the dishes. I wanted to be in there helping him, but the truth was that I needed to have this small talk with Del about what we were doing. I needed him to accept me as I was and not as something I couldn’t be. But I missed Daddy not being in here. Today was turning into one of those days where I just needed both of them.

My voice was almost an innocent chime as I turned my head back towards the kitchen. I wasn’t sure if he was going to be open to it, but I needed to address it. Just for my own wellbeing. And the truth was, I needed to put myself first for the time being. Especially with the baby. I couldn’t have any residual stress from this entire situation.^ Daddy? Can you come back? I think we all need to talk about what the three of us are doing.

Myrick: -I heard Cay call me in from the living room as I was finishing up with rinsing the last of the dishes on their way into the dishwasher. It was a quick trip to make my way back into the room to find the two of them curled up on the couch together. In any other situation, I might have felt a pang of jealousy or disappointment at the sight, but this was entirely different. The two of them needed to work out the way they felt about each other after everything that had happened, and I had to admit, it was the first time I’d ever seen Del with a girl where the two of them weren’t practically ripping each other’s clothes off. It was odd, but not in a bad way.

Besides, the two of them had called me back into the room. They wanted me here. That had to be a good sign. They could have easily left me in there to clean up after dinner and had the time to themselves. I would have given it to them if they’d wanted. I slid gladly into my old place on the couch before sliding closer and slipping my arm around behind Del’s back on the couch, keeping a small space just in case I was intruding- You rang, Baby Love?

Cay: ^I could only narrow my eyes at Daddy. He was close, but he was still so far away. But I could see the reasoning in his eyes. He wasn’t sure if we wanted him that close. But the truth was, we needed him that close. It was a matter of if he wanted to be that close. Clearing my throat, I turned to look at the man that was keeping us, quite literally, at arm’s length.^ We want you closer. But I can see it in your eyes. You’re not sure about all of this. You’re still in your head about all of us. And as much as you know that’s okay, I think you made a decision. I don’t want this to be about what makes me and Del happy. I want this to be about what makes all three of us happy. And to be honest, I think you want to try.

^Biting my lip, I wasn’t sure if I was overstepping my bounds. But I knew the truth about my guys. They both tended to get stuck in their heads if they weren’t sure about anything. I knew I was going to be the one that always pulled them out. And that was fine. They would talk sense into me when I was being unreasonable, and they would do the same to each other. It was who they were. We all knew our roles. We knew what we needed to do to help each other come out of what was bothering us.^ I’m not trying to push you into a relationship with Del. But in your own head, I know you want to do it. I just want you to know that I’m okay with it. You’re okay with me and Del, Del is okay with me and you. I will always accept that Del is a part of you that you can’t let go.

Myrick: -I sat a little shocked into silence when she spoke. It wasn't that she was wrong, but that she had read me perfectly, probably better than I could have read myself. I thought for a moment and then moved in closer, snaking my arm around Del’s shoulders and settling in closer.- Well, there's no use in pretending you're wrong, Baby Love. -letting my apprehension melt into a soft chuckle. There was no point in being scared. Rationally, I knew that, when when the irrational side of me didn't-  

I've been meaning to talk to both of you. I wasn't sure whether to do it together or separately, but I guess now is as a good a time as any. -I shrugged a little and moved in closer- I knew how I felt about Cay, and I thought I knew how I felt about you, Del, but maybe there was more. And maybe, it’s worth exploring… -I could feel myself not being completely honest with even me and shook my head- Forget maybe. It’s worth it to me. I need both of you in my life, and I want this. -reaching up to run a hand through Del’s tousled hair at the same time I move to run a few fingers across Cay’s cheek- If you’ll have me.

Del: -I hadn’t been expecting to hear that from Myrick so soon. I knew him, and I figured he’d go back and forth about it for days or even weeks before he came clean. But Cay had this way of bringing the brave part of him out. She’d always had it, since the first time she stumbled into the kitchen in one of my shirts and wound up wrapped around him on the countertop.

It was a little surreal to have his fingers in my hair, but I wouldn’t have traded it for anything. It was the best kind of surreal. All of this was. Here we all were together like some kind of fucked up Valentine’s day card, and I fucking loved it. I leaned into the touch shooting both of them a grin-

So, you mean, you’re asking me if I’ll have you? -laughing softly- You do remember I’m the one who came up with this crazy idea to begin with.

Myrick: -I shook my head, pulling in closer, though I kept my hands on both of them. I wasn’t sure what to say. He was right. She was right. Me asking if it was what they wanted was stupid. They were the ones who were waiting on me.- No, you’re right. -laughing again- You’re both right. I just need to let go and do the thing. -leaning in closer again until I’m close enough to brush a kiss across Cay’s lips, lingering there for a moment, my fingers threading into her hair. One long kiss before I pull away, moving my attention to Del, fingers still in his hair as my lips meet his with a soft intake of air-

Cay: ^I could only smile as the two of them finally came together in a kiss. And it was somewhat fitting that I was settled in Del’s lap. It was the perfect way to keep the three of us connected. I could only hold the giggle in for so long, though. The two of them broke away with impish smiles before Del pressed another kiss to my lips. Daddy’s lips quickly found my temple.

I wasn’t sure where this entire adventure was going, but I knew that we were complete. With my eyes on Del, I let a hand wrap around Daddy’s^ I want to stay with the two of you. But you both have to tell me if you want time together. I’m not a mind reader. I won’t always know. And yes, I know. I will tell you if I want one over the other. That’s the only way all of this will work. We have to talk. We need to be honest. We can’t let the jealousy get to us. It’ll destroy us quickest.

Del: -grins and pulls Cay in closer, gathering her to my chest as she spoke. I was surprised as fuck when Myrick leaned in to kiss me. It was a different kiss than the one we’d shared weeks ago. That one was passionate and full of anger and confusion, at least on my part. On his, nothing but shock had registered. It was more than just the first time I’d kissed him. It was the first time he’d ever kissed a guy.

This one was softer and filled with intention. I had to admit I enjoyed it more than I was expecting, not that I hadn’t imagined kissing him again, but it wasn’t like that. I didn’t have a lot of experience with that for all the experience I did have. The emotion made it something entirely different.

Cay being sandwiched there between us made it that much better. She was a part of all of this, a huge part, and I wanted her there for all of it- Then we figure it out. We talk. We always have to talk. None of us are psychic. I’m going to fuck up. I’m going to want time to myself. I’m going to want both of you to myself sometimes and sometimes I’m going to be selfish as fuck and want everything. And I’m just going to own that. Straight up.

All you have to do is tell me, Little Red. I’m here for you, but I suck at figuring out this whole thing without you telling me what’s up. It’s not cause I’m selfish so much as I’m clueless as hell.

Myrick: -I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks after the kiss, half burying my face in Cay’s hair to kiss her temple until I felt the heat pass. I had no idea what had possessed me to do that, but I enjoyed it, and I wanted to do it again. I planned to in the future. We’d figure the rest out as we went.- We’ve got time. Time together to figure out all of this. You’ve got her to slap you into shape, and me. I’m going to need a little slapping into shape myself. -shrugs- Don’t let me hide in my head. Don’t let me get lost in thinking too much or worrying about what everyone else thinks.

-The second guessing came naturally, the voice of my mother ingrained in my head and telling me everything that I was doing the wrong way. This situation included. I had to shut all of that off, had to let go and decide for myself what I wanted, and what I needed. And the two things were the exact same thing. I needed both of them. I needed her to curl up in my lap and bury her head in my shoulder, to show up wearing a plaid skirt and a button up shirt with knee socks, just because she knew it drove me crazy. And I needed him to keep me on my toes, to drive me absolutely insane and challenge everything I always thought was true about myself without ever having to actually think about it. He made me think. I needed to think. Between the two of them was everything that I needed. -

Cay: ^Kicking my legs across Daddy’s lap, I could only think about the words he had just said. I knew the truth was that he was going to get lost in his own head. But there was something about him asking us for help. It hit a spot in my chest where I could feel the tears starting to prick my eyes. He was showing me that he needed us just as much as we needed him. I didn’t want to hide from them. I couldn’t. Not anymore. Not when they were both opening themselves up to me like this. Daddy was jumping head first into something that could bring disaster down on him, but he was doing it for the two of us.

All of this was for the three of us. We all wanted to be with each other. And we weren’t deluding ourselves into thinking it was going to be easy. It was going to be a challenge. But we knew that the only thing we could do to keep us going was to talk about it. Share our struggles. Share our fears. Celebrate our victories.

I wanted to crawl into Daddy’s lap. But I wasn’t sure how Del would feel about it. I wasn’t sure if it was something either one of them was going to be okay with. I didn’t know how to transition from each of them. But I let my lips crack into a smile as I nudged Daddy’s leg before looking up at Del.^ You gonna call him Daddy, too?

Del: -a laugh left my lips before I fully registered the question enough to formulate a response. It hasn't ever occurred to me exactly what I was going to call him if we got this far. I wasn't entirely certain we'd ever even get here, but here we were. He'd just kissed me of his own volition. Anything was possible, and I was okay with that-

I don't know what to call him. If he wants me to…. I mean I guess I can call him Daddy.

-I wasn't sure what to say. For the first time in my life, I was nervous around him.  I knew exactly what I felt, but I wasn't sure what he felt. And I knew who he was and what he thought he needed out of life. I wasn't necessarily it.

I knew I was second guessing myself a little. Being happy had a way of making me terrified. If I didn't care about anything I had nothing to lose and right now, I was sandwiched inside of a cocoon of everything I had to lose. I was happy and scared all in the same moment.

It took a swallow and deep breath to push the fear I felt welling up down into the box I needed to keep it contained to. Fear was the reason I'd fucked all this up to begin with. It would leave me sabotaging things just to control how they ended and leave them on my own terms instead of taking the chance at getting hurt. Cay and Myrick were worth the chance.

Glancing over at Myrick with a shrug- Well, what do you think about all of it, Daddy? -laughing as I leaned in closer to try to steal another kiss when I felt my lips burning for his-

Myrick: -my hand moved to the back of Del's head out of instinct, pulling him in closer at the same moment I wrapped my other arm around Cay, bringing her into the group as well, until I let my lips move down along the line of her neck in the instant hers found Del’s. Lost for a moment in the way the three of us could work together so that no one was left out. To be honest, that was my biggest fear. Not that I couldn't have feelings for Del, because when I sat down and thought about it I had always cared about him. I just hasn't ever thought to take it to that level before now  

What terrified me the the most was the two of them deciding they didn't need me, but here they were wanting me to be a part of all of it, even debating what my title was going to be. I wasn't even sure what I wanted Del to call me, to be honest. My lips moving away from Cay’s skin just enough to mutter as I glanced up towards him- We can figure it all out. We've got all the time in the world. And if It's Daddy or Myrick or whatever else you want then it's going to work. The words don't really matter so much.

Cay: ^I could see the wheels in Daddy’s head going. He was thinking way too hard about something. And I didn’t want him to get lost. I knew him. I knew that he would overthink whatever was bothering him. Winding my fingers into his dark hair, I gently pull the locks to get his eyes on mine.^ You can’t go where you’re going. We’ll figure all of this out. I’m not going anywhere. Del isn’t going anywhere. Even if you think we’ll get tired of you one day, we can’t go anywhere. Not when we don’t know whose baby this is. And once we know, we’ll have already settled into a groove. A Baby Love is only a good Baby Love if her Daddy is with her.

^It was something I had heard Daddy tell me a lot. A Daddy was only good when his Baby Love needed him. And I absolutely needed him. I knew the truth about me when I was in little mindset. I was extremely clingy and needy. I questioned myself more than I thought possible. Those were the times I needed the most reassurance. But now I was in a unique situation. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but both of the men in front of me were going to be more vulnerable than I had ever seen them before. We were all going to have doubts. We were all going to have the same fears.^

I need both of you. Yes, I was good with just Daddy, but he saw that I was missing something. He knew I had feelings for you. He knew that I wanted to explore this. And he never made me feel bad for it once everything was out on the table. I don’t want to hide from either of you. I don’t want to pretend that I just want my Daddy. I know you both have a fear in the back of your mind. You’re both scared that I will eventually decide that I just want one of you. I’ll just want Daddy, or I’ll just want Sir. But I’m just as scared that you’ll decide I’m not worth it. You’ll decide that you want to be just the two of you, and all I’ll be is the mother of your child. But It’s not something I’m going to give energy to. As much as I don’t think I deserve both of you, I am going to be insanely selfish and keep the two of you. I need both of you, and I’m hoping it’s the same for you.

Myrick: - Cay noticed me slipping. Of course she noticed. She always paid attention to me, even when I was trying to disappear. It was going to be hard not to let my mind wander to places where it didn’t need to go. Logically, I knew that she loved me, and I knew that she loved him. She loved us both. I was starting to figure out my own feelings, and I knew Del was a little more certain of his. We had a lot to figure out, but we needed to do it together.

I leaned into Cay’s hand, enjoying the way her fingers felt threaded into my hair as I took a soft breath- We’re in this together as far as I’m concerned. All of us. And you’re the mother of our child, but you’re our girl too. We’re only what we are because you’re here. Just don’t ever forget that, Baby Love. -turning my head so her fingers slipped from my hair to press a kiss into her palm. My own hand moving across Del’s shoulder and up along the curve of his neck to brush against his jaw.-

I like you selfish, believe it or not, and I enjoy spoiling you. Both of you actually. -laughing gently as I glanced over at Del. We both knew it was true. I’d been spoiling Del from the friend zone since we met. I was probably part of the reason he’d gotten as lost in himself and his own crap as he was. But it didn’t matter now. We were all here, and we were going to do this together-

Del: -I listened to the two of them banter for a moment before glancing at my watch. The night wasn’t over yet. Cay had mentioned needing to head back to her apartment to grab a few things for tonight, and I knew we had to talk to Amelia and Cassidy. We owed them an explanation of what was going on more than anyone else in the world.  They were Cay’s family, and they were becoming Myrick’s family. Maybe not mine, yet, but I had a feeling that they were going to be an important part of all our lives from here on out.

It was kind of funny how all of us had either walked away from our families or had them walk away from us simply because of who we were. I’d talked to Amelia a couple of times now, and I knew a little of her story, just like she knew a little of mine, enough to know how her makeshift family was the single most important thing to her. I was starting to understand that more than I thought anyone understood.

I wanted nothing more than to keep these two here with me for the rest of the night, but I knew we had some things we needed to take care of before it got to be too late.

Leaning in to steal a kiss off Cay’s shoulder as I let out a soft chuckle- I hate to be the one who breaks up the party here, but I think we need to get Baby Girl here back to her place to pick up a few things. -grinning as I look up at Myrick with a nod- I mean. I want to keep you both here forever, but the rest of the world is waiting.

-I had to keep the groan that threatened when Cay slid out of my lap to myself. I knew it was what had to happen, and when Myrick followed her, their presence was replaced by cool air. I missed them both already, but I knew we had nothing but time to enjoy this. I planned on enjoying as much of it as I possibly could.

Hooking one arm into Cay’s, I slid the other around Myrick’s shoulder as I leaned in and stole a kiss off his cheek before pressing a second to her temple.- So, I’m driving. -laughing as I steer them both towards the door to grab my keys off the table beside the door as they grab coats and scarves to get ready to head into the cold night beyond. -

#YoureMyLightInTheDark

[sinfulmyrick]

If You Love Me, Don’t Let Me Go (SL with @DayDividesNight and @LustByTheHour)

Del: -The car pulled up in front of the shop, and I got out, telling the driver I’d call him back when I needed him and not to wait for me. I had no idea how long this was going to take. It could have been a few minutes or hours. It all depended on how they reacted to what I had to say.

I did know one thing. I couldn’t go in there half-cocked and fly off the handle. That was the one way to ruin everything before it ever started. I could push them away easily enough. That came naturally to me, to push everyone away. But that had been the way I’d fucked them and me up for the past god only knew how many weeks.

I walked up to the doors, but the first thing I caught was a glimpse of her brilliant crimson hair through the glass moving around on the other side of them. Freezing was my first reaction, but it was the wrong one. The air around me was cold, the wind cutting into my jacket like it was made of tissue paper instead of wool and sending a shiver through my frame that had me rubbing my hands together to get more blood flowing into my fingers. I tried to move, but I couldn’t, not until the little voice of reason in my head was screaming at me not to chicken out and lose everything I needed in one stupid move. I was here for a reason, and that reason was waiting inside.

I took in a deep breath, gathering the little bit of courage I could muster and pushed through the door to the tinkling of bells that signaled someone’s arrival in the shop. I hadn’t been wrong. They were both there, and both heads turned to find me standing there in the entrance as I tried to smile, but only managed to turn up one corner of my face into some sort of expression- Hi…

-I knew that wasn’t enough, wasn’t ever going to be enough, but it was the only thing I could think of to start with. The other words would come, but taking my time here was going to be key to not freaking me or either of them out completely-

Myrick: -I heard the bells that signaled the door opening without looking up from the drawing I was working on atop the counter. I was a little lost in the work, a drawing of Cay as she moved around the shop the colors and swirls of her tattoos and hair slowly taking shape in colored pencil as she let me have glimpses of them with each movement.

I’d taken to spending all my free time here. Things were still tense at the house when and if I would see Del. We’d barely spoken to each other, but I had told him I’d talked to Cay. He just sort of nodded and made some kind of incomprehensible sound before he stalked back upstairs. I didn’t know what to make of it, but I made no secret of where I was going every day or who I was spending time with. I didn’t see any point in it. He could get his act together if he decided to on his own.

It was the sound of Cay’s soft gasp that had my attention moving back up to first her face and then following her gaze back to the door before I heard the nervous sound of his greeting. I knew him well enough to know that he was scared out of his mind. I hadn’t seen him like that very often, but there he was now, wearing one of my scarves and his jacket, standing on the welcome mat as the door slowly closed behind him.

My voice caught in my throat, though I wasn’t certain what I would have said anyway. I just looked back to Cay to gauge her reaction to all of this-

Cay: ^It hadn’t taken much to get Amelia and Cassidy to allow Daddy into the shop when we weren’t open. They both knew that he wasn’t a risk, and would spend most of his time behind the counter drawing. He wouldn’t let me see what he was working on, but I knew. I had been his muse since he had started coming. Cassidy was in love with him. She enjoyed seeing him in the shop because he made me happy.

I hadn’t slid down that slope that took my mind out of things in a while. I still did occasionally, but it was always cancelled out by the knowing look from behind the counter. After we opened up about what we wanted to do, we sat down and just talked about everything. I explained what had happened. I knew better than to leave anything out. I told him about how Amelia and Cassidy wanted to give me the shop. As hard as it was for him to hear, I told him about the lapses I had while working.

I never held any of that against Daddy. He was the only truly innocent party here. I could have gone to him at any minute. He had no clue where to find me. It was something I still felt insanely guilty about on bad days. But those were the days I kept my promise to him. I didn’t let myself drown in my misery, I opened up to him. I told him.

Today had been a good day. There weren’t many customers in the store, but I wasn’t entirely surprised. It was chilly, and getting anywhere was a challenge, at best, in this city. But as the door chimed, I felt the entire day shift. I didn’t want to believe what was standing in front of me. I knew the scarf. It was one I had seen a few times over the past few weeks. Except it hadn’t been draped around the man standing in front of the door. It belonged to the man whose gaze was locked on me.

I almost didn’t hear the nervous “hi” come from Del’s lips. I could feel myself starting to drown in confusion. But I didn’t know why he was here. I didn’t know if he wanted to talk. I didn’t know if he was in to shop for something. The last thing I wanted to assume was that he was here to talk to me or Daddy. I had to be professional, though. I couldn’t let this get the best of me.

Closing my eyes, I took another breath before I let my gaze travel up to his eyes. The words that fell from my lips sounded hollow to my ears, but I knew they needed to be said. I knew how to treat the customers that came in here. There was a reason the doms that came in here loved me. They knew I was respectful. But my voice shook as I tried to get the words out.^ Welcome to The Shoppe. I’m Cay, Sir. Let me know if there’s anything I can help you with.

Del: -I could hear the tremble in her voice as she spoke and the formality of the words that came from her lips. I had a lot to make up for, and the sound of the greeting she gave me told me all of that without her saying a single thing about it. She didn’t have to.

My fingers were shaking as I moved to take the scarf from around my neck, shrugging the coat off my shoulders and draping them both over my arm. I took a trepidatious step forward, closer to where she stood. Letting out a soft sigh- Cay… -I glanced over to Myrick, not sure which of them I needed to talk to first, or what I needed to say. - Hey, Ricky. -letting out a long breath again- I just… I owe you both an apology.

-I guessed that was the best place to start. Because it was the damn truth. I owed them both a lot more than an apology-

Myrick: -I was still a little dumbstruck as seeing Del enter the room like that. And I still didn’t know what to say. I was scrambling for a reply when he admitted he owed us both an apology, though I wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for. I was willing to hear him out, but I was waiting to hear exactly what he was going to say before I made a judgement.-

Listen, Del. I think you have a lot to explain, and I’m willing to let you explain it. I’m listening, but I’m not promising anything.

-That was as generous as I could be in the moment, but my heart was in my throat. I didn’t know what he was going to tell me or how I was going to be able to wrap my head around it.-

Cay: ^I knew this wasn’t going to be as easy as getting an apology. There was more to it. We needed explanations. Both of us. And I wasn’t entirely sure I was ready to hear what he needed to say to Daddy. But I knew the truth. Whatever was going to come from Del’s mouth was going to create a problem.

I had been good about closing off the wall of feelings I had. I didn’t let Daddy see them. I tried to keep them to myself. I didn’t want Daddy thinking I ever was settling. I wasn’t, and I never had. It was a different way of being complete. It was something I liked. I trusted in what Daddy was giving me. Because I knew to him, it wasn’t about the sex or the control. It was making sure I was in a safe place to give up the control.

I knew with Daddy that there didn’t have to be sex. I could ask for a night of just cuddles, and he would absolutely respect that. With Del, I feared what I would be used for. And being used wasn’t something I could afford.

Taking a breath, I looked at the floor and started to make my way towards the back. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be here while the two of them were talking. I didn’t want to know what I had screwed up with the two of them. Daddy would just tell me I did nothing wrong. Del, who knew. But the truth ran through my mind more than enough times. If I had just stayed at the club, none of this would have happened. My voice was soft as I tried to choke the words out.^ I’ll give the two of you a minute.

Del: -I could hear the sound in her voice, the one that was saying everything to her that my mind had been saying to me over the past few weeks. And that was the last fucking thing I wanted. I wanted her to know how much I needed her, and I didn’t know if I needed to ask her to stay or let her go. I did know that her going was the last thing I wanted to happen.- No, please stay, Cay. I… I need to talk to both of you.

-I wanted to walk over to her, but I wasn’t sure how she’d react, so I just left her be over on the other side of the room. I needed them both closer. This talking out loud across the shelves and racks in the shop was more than I could take. I had to be able to look both of them in the eyes and tell them what I had to say.

I was taking a huge chance here, and I could only hope that it turned out the way I needed it to, that I hadn’t fucked it up past all repair.-

Myrick: -My eyes were dancing back and forth between the two of them like watching a tennis match, waiting to see what was going to happen before I stepped in and spoke, but something told me I needed to speak up or the two of them were never going to get themselves together. Resting my hands on the glass counter top, my stool slid across the tiled floor with an odd scraping sound before I had room to stand up and walk around to the other side of the counter, with a long glance at Cay-

Baby Love, why don’t you go close up shop for awhile and we can talk without being interrupted. I think we’ve all got a lot to say, and no one else needs to walk in on the middle of this. It’s almost time anyhow. A few minutes early won’t matter.

-I tried to offer her a reassuring smile. I knew I needed it as much as she did. I had no idea what was coming, but I had my fingers crossed it wasn’t going to be some of the wrecking ball style stuff that Del was famous for.-

Cay: ^I nodded my head and slowly moved to flip the sign on the door and slid the lock closed. Daddy was right, and there was no arguing with him. I didn’t know where we were going, but I almost didn’t want to know. Because I knew what was standing right in front of me. And I was fucking terrified. Taking the widest path possible, I moved behind the counter and pressed myself as close to Daddy as I could.

I wasn’t even sure how to react. I felt like I had lost the ability to speak. I knew there was more I needed to do after all of this was discussed, but I also knew I wasn’t going to be able to focus on anything. It all boiled down to what Del was about to say.

But I needed him to know what Daddy had done for me in the short time we had been together. I needed him to understand what kind of position I was in because of what we had both done.^ I was a wreck before Daddy came to me. I could barely keep my focus at work. And because of that, I didn’t get an amazing opportunity that I should have. I’ve never been boy crazy. I’ve never felt like I needed a guy to make my life worth living. But then I met you and, in turn, Daddy.

I disappeared from Daddy’s life. I barely felt worthy of having that night with you. I definitely didn’t feel like I deserved that morning with Daddy. When you never came back, I felt justified in my feelings. You didn’t come back because I wasn’t good enough for you. I was never going to be the sub you wanted or needed. I couldn’t handle you. That was everything I thought. I beat myself up for weeks trying to believe that I could move on. That it wasn’t me. But that feeling isn’t an easy one to shake.

^Shaking my head, I could already feel all the frustration and fear rolling through my body. This wasn’t easy to talk about, and it was technically a violation of one of Daddy’s rules. But I always told him that I would come to him when I was feeling down. We would talk about it. Even if it turned into me crying hysterically because I wasn’t enough. Turning my head to Daddy, I let my voice drop to a whisper. A soft moment for the two of us where I knew my own mind was going to get the best of me.^ This is going to send me down a slippery hill, Daddy. And I’m going to struggle. Please don’t punish me if I go too far.

Myrick: -I leaned in to her, tightening my arm around Cay’s waist as she whispered. I knew she was protecting herself the best she could, and I wasn't going to hold that against her. Neither of us knew what to expect out of Del right now and the way she felt about him was precarious at best. She tried not to let me see, but I knew without her talking.  I didn't hold her feelings for him against her, either. She couldn't help them. Hell, my own feelings about him were confusing the life out of me at the moment- it's ok, Baby Love. Just do what you need to do. I'm not going to punish you when you need holding.

-I straightened up to look over to Del, though I kept her curled into my side. He needed to hear what he'd done and the fallout that had resulted from it all. Del did so many things without thinking of anyone but himself. The fact that he was even here now apologizing was amazing, but it wasn't enough- You could have at least told me where to find her, Del. Jesus. -letting out a frustrated sigh- I didn't know. I know you're clearly going through something right now, where you've decided that you don't get to be happy, but I guess that means no one else gets to be happy either. -I didn't know what else to say to him. He was selfish, but he was here  I had to give him credit for that- At least you came. So let's hear your reasoning.

Del. -I listened to everything the two of them had to say to me, letting Cay have her moment to curl into Myrick’s side and call him Daddy. It was frankly nice to see. Ricky deserved that kind of thing, and had for a damned long time. I laid my coat across the counter top and slid my hands into the pockets of my jeans- Because I don't deserve what the two of you have over there. At least not in my mind. I never have. I fucking want it, more than I've ever wanted anything else in my life. And that's why I'm here. -I leaned against the counter and took in a shaky breath. I was scared stupid right now, and I wanted to make sure I didn't screw this up any more than I already had- I fucked up. Okay? I know that. I got scared and I hid from everyone and everything. I'm an idiot. And I probably messed everything up. I'm not dumb or cocky enough to waltz in here and think everything is forgiven or that either of you would even want me in your life after the way I've behaved. I wouldn't blame you for never talking to me again.

-fingers jingling the change in my pocket as I tried to focus. I knew I was babbling and I could feel myself sinking with every admission of how bad I'd messed everything up- I was miserable. And it was my own fault. I'm sorry if I made either of you feel even a quarter of how bad I felt. And it was all my fault. All I had to do was be honest with myself and with the two of you. And to be honest, I'm terrified. I'm terrified at how happy I could be. Because of I'm not happy then I don't have a damned thing to lose. But now, I have everything to lose.

-I looked down at the floor before I could chance a glance up at the two of them. I wasn't even half done with everything I needed to tell them, but I needed to give them a chance to reply. And I had to just breathe for a minute-

Cay: ^I could feel my blood boil at his words. There was one sorry in that entire exchange, and it wasn’t even the most important sorry. It was for making us miserable. That was it. Because it had to be all about Del. It was a trend I was very quickly picking up on. I should have held my tongue. I wasn’t entirely sure what was going to happen, but I couldn’t stand here and let him get away with this. It wasn’t all about him.^

In that entire speech, you said you were sorry one time. You said you were sorry if we were as miserable as you were. So your apology was still self centered. You didn’t apologize to me for losing out on owning a shop I love and put every waking moment into. You didn’t apologize to Daddy for not giving him the information he needed to come after me. Of all the people to apologize to, he deserves it the most. I have spent days and nights apologizing for not coming to him. For waiting for him to come to me. And I owe my boss the world for sending him here. Because she knew how miserable I was. She recognized that Myrick was the only innocent one in this entire situation.

^My hands were fists as I spoke. I wanted to hit something. I wanted to scream. The only thing that kept me grounded was Daddy. I could tolerate a half assed apology to me. I had as much reason to apologize to Del for doing the same thing. But Daddy? Daddy never deserved any of this. I hurt more for him than I hurt for myself.^

You dropped a bomb on him. On a man that struggled to accept what he was as a Daddy already. A man who spent his entire life being groomed for the white picket fence life. And then you walked away. You didn’t say a word. You never gave him a chance to say a word. You avoided him like the plague. You didn’t give him the time of day to understand what was going on in your head. You shut yourself off. Why should I listen? Why should I accept an apology that was self centered? Why should I try to understand what happened? You clearly aren’t trying to understand what happened with either of us individually.

Del: -I heard every word of what she was saying, and none of it was wrong. I was selfish, and self-centered, which was exactly why I didn’t deserve either of them. I’d even fucked up my apology- I’m here, Cay… I came to listen, even if it’s not a skill I’m very comfortable with or good at right now. I’m sorry. You both deserve a hell of a lot better than that, a hell of a lot better than me. And you’re right. Ricky… -I turned to my roommate, offering him the most apologetic look I could muster- You didn’t deserve any of this. You’re worlds better than I will ever be. I know the shit you’ve been through, I was there for most of it, and I still went through the whole damn situation like a bull in a china shop. I’m shitty friend.

-looking over at Cay just in front of him, but smaller so that he could nearly rest his chin on her head- I’m a shitty everything. I’m even shit at apologizing. I’m trying here, though. And I know it’s not fair of me to ask you to give me credit for trying. But he can tell you, I’ve never done anything like this before. And you were right, Amelia is a saint. She’s the only one of us who had enough sense to try fixing the mess I made. I owe her a lot. Even if the two of you decide I’m not worth it.

I know I’m selfish and self-centered. I’ve only been thinking of me for all of my damn life. But that’s not what I want for now. What I want is to think about someone else for the first time in my life. I want to think about you… -looking back up to Myrick- Both of you. And I know that’s a lot to take in Ricky. I know I dropped a bomb in your lap. I know I’m dropping another. And I know it’s going to take a lot of time for us to figure this out, if you two even want to. I just need you to know that I want to.

-takes my hands out of my pockets to thread my fingers together and study my palms for a long moment before I could look up at the two of them. I didn’t deserve to even be here right now. I shouldn’t have barged in on their day unannounced like this, but I was what I was.-

Myrick: -I was just kind of dumbstruck while everything was going down. Cay moved from my side to being in front of me and I rested my hands at her waist, pulling her back into my chest as she leaned forward and let what had been boiling in her mind fly. I could tell there was more there, but she was spent for now. I agreed with everything she said, even though coming to my defense was unnecessary. I was far more worried about her and how all of this had made her feel.

When he started talking, I just froze. I didn’t know what to make of any of this. I’d kind of wiped the whole kiss out of my mind since it happened. I’d chalked it up to something random he decided to do in the heat of the moment. I hadn’t really thought he’d meant it. Though, I had to admit that when I didn’t consciously push it to the back of my mind it popped up unbidden more often than I would admit.

Cay wasn’t wrong when she said I was ill prepared for all of this. My entire upbringing had been getting me ready for law school, to live my parents’ life just like they had. None of this was in the cards for me until it was. Del was the reason for all of that. He’d been the only one to give me the room to figure myself out back then, and as much as he’d been an ass lately, I thought I owed him that much-

Listen, Del. I don’t know what to think. I haven’t for awhile. I know that Cay makes me happy, happier than I’ve been probably ever in my life, and I’m never going to let that go. -I pulled her back in close to me- This is all crazy. Maybe I’m crazy. I’m willing to talk, to try to figure all of this out, if she is. But you fucked up this time, almost past the point of no return.

-I had no idea how I was going to wrap my head around all of this. I’d only said I was willing to talk. I was still so confused about the whole situation involving him. I wasn’t jealous of Cay’s feelings for him. I understood that. I was confused about my feelings for him. Until now, we’d been friends. Things were easy to navigate as friends. This added a whole new dimension to things, one I wasn’t familiar with. It took me out of my hard-won comfort zone and into a whole different place. I had to wrap my head around it, and it wasn’t something I was sure I was going to be able to do-

Cay: ^I didn’t exactly want to listen. I was beyond furious. I didn’t have to. I knew that. I could tell them both that I couldn’t do this and go count the tills. The only thing I could do, right now, was take a breath. I had to stop being irrational. I needed to not fly off the handle. There was absolutely a proper way to do everything. Yelling and screaming at Del was not one of those things.

I hated that he was getting under my skin. I wanted everything to go away. But I couldn’t deny the truth. There was a pull there that I couldn’t deny. And Del was right about one thing. Things felt right when I was with both of them. Granted, being with both of them together was something I still couldn’t begin to think about. I wasn’t going to put Daddy in that place.

But I owed it to Daddy to let Del explain things. We all needed to talk. We needed to figure out where this was going to lead us. Even if we didn’t have an answer tonight, we could at the very least have all of our cards on the table. This wasn’t going to be about me choosing one over the other. If the decision came to that, I knew the answer. But it wasn’t something I wanted to have to do.^ We can stay down here or we can go up to my apartment. Whichever option you feel the most comfortable with. We should talk this out. Responsibly. And without my temper getting into the way.

Del: -I glanced around the shop, taking it in. It was weird to be down here talking all this out with these two. Everything felt like a barrier, standing in between us, something to hide behind, and I was done hiding. Myrick was being forgiving and graceful, like I knew he would be. He would forgive me even when I was wrong, even when I didn’t apologize. It was in his nature, and probably part of the reason I was as spoiled and selfish as I was. I had a friend who made it easy for me.

Cay, on the other hand, wasn’t going to make this easy at all. That was probably exactly what I needed, even if it wasn’t what I wanted. But I knew the two of them were worth the work- Alright, I think we should go upstairs. It might seem a little less weird…

-my hands and shoulders went up in a half shrug- I don’t know. This is awkward, and I know that’s my fault. I just want you two to be as comfortable as possible, so I guess upstairs would be better. I promise to talk this out rationally. I’m not going to lose my cool, but if you do, then I understand. I deserve that too.

-I tried to look Cay in the eye, and I could see that she was raging. I was hoping I didn’t get punched, but that would have been understandable too. Myrick was really all that was holding her back from coming at me full force. She wanted him happy, I could tell by everything she said. And he wanted her happy. It was nice to see if you didn’t also account for the fact that I was keeping that from happening-

Myrick: -my fingers found Cay’s hand, threading between hers to hold her hand in mine. I gave it a gentle squeeze and moved to her side, leaning over to press a kiss to her forehead then whisper in her ear- Come on, let’s go upstairs and at least get comfortable while we talk. We have a lot to talk about and standing here in the middle of the shop is not the place for this. -stealing another gentle kiss before I straightened up and glanced up at Del.

I didn’t really have anything to say to him down here. More than anything, I wanted to hear what he had to say to Cay. I’d deal with my issues when we figured out what we were doing, because at this point I honestly had no clue.-

Cay: ^I nodded my head before looking back at the register. I knew what I needed to do before I went up with them. I had to be somewhat responsible. Even if this was going to lead to a downward spiral, I had to be smart with the shop.^ Take him up, Daddy? I need to get the till in the safe. Even if I don’t come back to it tonight, I need to get it into the safe. I can’t risk it.

^With a nod from Daddy, I watched the two men go up the stairs. I knew I wasn’t going to balance the money right now. I couldn’t leave them upstairs alone. But I did need to take a minute to gather my thoughts. As I pulled the till from the register, I thought about what was about to happen.

I wasn’t entirely sure how to handle the situation at hand. I wasn’t even sure how to handle Del showing up. I didn’t know how I’d react if he had shown up while I was alone. I would have fallen to pieces. There was no doubt in my mind. I felt my stomach start to turn as I punched the code into the safe to open it. I wasn’t sure what the hell was going on with me, but I couldn’t afford for the nerves to get the best of me.

Slamming the safe shut, I made sure the store was locked and dark before setting the alarm. I quickly made my way up the stairs. With another flop of my stomach, I stood outside of my apartment. I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t ready to potentially lose Daddy. I wasn’t sure what was going through his mind with everything. I didn’t know how he felt about Del. And my own feelings weren’t even on the table to be opened up. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.

Taking one more slow breath, I let my hand fall on the doorknob before twisting it and pushing the door open. I wasn’t surprised to find both men sitting there in silence. It seemed this talk was going to be with me or not at all. Quickly moving to the couch, I forced myself into Daddy’s arms. I needed the safety and security that he gave. I wasn’t sure I could do this.^

Myrick: -Leading Del up the stairs to the little apartment behind and above the store was an automatic path for me. I’d been up here dozens of times since I finally found her again, but it was strange to have someone else who wasn’t Cay in tow. All of this was strange. I had no idea how to process what was going on. I wanted to let Del have his say, to let him get out whatever was obviously weighing heavily on his chest.

I hadn’t seen him this repentant or this clearly beaten down since I’d met him. And I hadn’t seen Cay this terrified since I’d met her. I wasn’t sure how to handle this. Sitting in silence while we waited for her to come up from downstairs was the only thing I could think of, because I literally had no idea what to say.

My heart thumped against the inside of my chest when she walked in and immediately curled into my lap, my arms going around her to pull her close and keep her there. It was what she needed. I knew it just from the look in her eyes. She needed to know I wasn’t going anywhere no matter what happened right now. I leaned in close just for her, whispering against the shell of her ear- This doesn’t change how I feel about you at all, Baby Love. Nothing here does. I’m here until you tell me to go.

-The words were soft, quiet, just a breath against her skin and meant only for her. I gave her that moment, just letting the heat from my skin soak into hers as she slightly relaxed into my embrace before I even acknowledged that he was there- Alright, Del. Whatever you have to say, say it.

Del: -It had been a mercy that things were silent when we walked up the stairs and settled down into the two chairs. Cay walking in had only interrupted that for a moment, and then the awkward silence settled back into place while I let them have their moment. I had no damned idea what I was doing here. I had no clue what I was going to say. I was pretty sure I was going to fuck this up as badly as I had fucked everything else up since the day I started making decisions for myself.

Where was I going to start? I didn’t even know what to tell myself. How do I explain all of this? I started to talk four times, getting a half a word out before starting over as it choked itself into silence in my throat. Finally, I just threw my hands in my lap. There was nothing else to do except throw it out there.- God, I’m a selfish fuck. But your friend, Amelia… she’s a smart woman. Smarter than I’ll ever fucking be. She had me figured out from the minute I opened my mouth. I couldn’t hide shit from her, not even shit I was hiding from myself. -I realized I was babbling, that the two of them would have no real idea what I was talking about, so I started over, back to the beginning of all of this.- Cay, when I walked up to you in the club, I had no idea what I was getting into, none. I thought it was a thing, fun but nothing serious, and then you happened. I don’t know how. I’ve always been the guy who walked away from anything before it got serious, before anyone go feelings involved. But, fuck me, I had feelings for you from the minute your lips hit mine. You can ask him, I don’t fall asleep with people. It’s not my thing. People fall asleep in my bed, and I wind up on the couch or just don’t sleep at all, and then you came along. All I fucking wanted was to wake up with that red hair spread across my pillows or chest or whatever the hell else you wanted to rest your head on. -It was pouring out of me now. After holding back so long, the pressure built up until it was like a dam breaking, words spewing out and telling them everything I’d been afraid to say to even myself-

And then the next damned morning, when I walked downstairs to grab a cup of coffee, there the two of you were, splayed out across the kitchen counter like some kind of crazy wet dream. I wasn’t even upset, cause it was probably the second hottest thing that has even run through my mind. I’m not going to lie.

And it was only the second hottest thing because the first was the same damn situation with me in the middle. -I studied my hands carefully while I let the rest come out. I didn’t have it in me to look Myrick in the eye while I was talking- And no it’s not just about that. It’s not just about the sex. Sex is easy. It’s just an act. The thing that hit me hard, the thing that had me walking across the kitchen to plant that kiss on Daddy over there… -I took a breath, not sure if I should go on but damned certain I couldn’t stop now if I wanted to- I saw a whole hell of a lot more than that. I’m an asshole, but I want both of you. I can’t and I won’t lie and say I don’t. I’m not stupid enough to think I’ll get it, but it’s the first thing I’ve ever really wanted that wasn’t 100% selfish. Maybe that sounds stupid, because wanting to have two people instead of one is probably the definition of selfish, but I want the two of you happy. If that means happy without me, then that’s what it is. I know you found each other. I’m glad you did. -I took a breath finally, now that my lungs were burning from lack of oxygen with the words that had come all in one long exhale. Chancing a glance up at Cay first. I was less scared of her reaction to this than Myrick’s. She could slap me or yell at me again. I deserved both of those. I was entirely afraid I’d broken him though. I couldn’t bring myself to even try to see-

He deserves happy, and he needs you. -biting down on my lip- He’s been through a lot of bullshit. I was probably part of that bullshit. And like I said. I want you happy. Both of you. Whether I get to be part of that or not. But fuck do I ever want to be part of that. -I glanced away, back down to my hands when I felt the corners of my eyes sting and my throat close up-

Cay: ^I could hear the words echoing in my head. “I want you to be happy.” I was. And the road to get here wasn’t easy. I had already been through so much. My self worth had taken hit after hit with Del. And here he was telling me that he wanted nothing more than me and Daddy to be happy. How was I supposed to react to that?^

Amelia is responsible for a lot of things. But how many weeks ago did she come to you? Should I assume that it was the same time that Myrick came to me? I thought she beat sense into you. I thought she saw you in a way that no one else saw you. But you still took this much time to come to both of us? I don’t know the answer here, Del. I don’t know what to say.

^I took a breath before looking up at Daddy. There was a lot I needed to say, and I had to be honest. The worst part was that I knew that, one way or another, someone was going to be hurt. In reality, they were both going to be hurt. But I couldn’t just sit on this. I couldn’t tell him that he was an asshole for hiding his feelings when I was doing the same. But I needed to have Daddy be okay with this.^

There is nothing I want more than to be sandwiched between the two of you. To submit to both of you is probably one of the hottest things I can imagine. I’ve wanted you from the moment you walked up to me. I’ve wanted someone like you for awhile. And then I met Daddy. And he gave me something that you haven’t been willing to give me. He doesn’t shut me out. He doesn’t hide from me. We talk things through. I take his rules into consideration with every move I make. But if he can’t do this, I’m with him. He came to me first. He showed me that he cared. And he’s the one that we screwed over by hiding. But he’s the one that protects me. He’s the one who makes sure I don’t feel like I’m nothing. I’m constantly reminded that I’m lucky he still wants me after I ran from him. I don’t know what I’d do without him.

Del: -I was fighting the urge to just give up and walk away, because I was pretty sure I was going to be the one who would end up getting hurt here, and I was pretty sure I deserved it. But I needed to stay here. I had to fight for it, even if that meant fighting with Cay and Myrick.- It was weeks. Yeah, it was the same day. And fuck me if I didn’t screw up. That’s why I’m here, to admit I’m a god damned fuck up. He’s worlds better than me. I’ve always known that. Thanks for reminding me. -I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves. The last thing I needed right now was to go off on Cay, even though I could hear the blood rushing through my ears and feel the heat rising up from the collar of my shirt through my neck-

I don’t know what to tell you to say. I’m a fuck up. Tell me to leave. I’ll leave. I’ll walk away right now and let the two of you have it. You won’t ever see me again if that’s the way you want it. -I somehow found the courage to look over at Myrick. I could see he was dumbfounded, but this was as much for him as it was for her- That goes for both of you. I’m not going to kick you out, Ricky. You know that’s not my style, but I’ll leave the city. I’ll go back to Vegas. I don’t want to, but I will. I’d much rather stay, and try to fight for a chance to have something I probably don’t and won’t ever deserve.

I’m lucky you haven’t kicked me out already. -I took a deep breath in, letting it out in one long, shaky exhale.- I don’t know how to convince you to let me try. I didn’t come. I was scared. I was stupid. She came, and what she saw I don’t know. I don’t see it.

Myrick: -Del was babbling, and I was sitting here trying to process everything. I needed to figure out how to protect the girl in my lap from any of the fallout from this first. She was my top priority in all of this. Even if I never figured out how I felt about any of it, I wanted to know how she felt about it.

She wanted this. I knew that. I’d always known that. Del was an idiot for sabotaging that for himself. Some part of me just wanted to open up and tell them both to quit fighting it and just give up already. It was probably inevitable. It didn’t bother me that she wanted him. I was happy just to be able to have the piece of her that I had-

Hey, you two… -I knew my voice was soft, but that it carried. I kept my arms around her and pulled her close to my chest- Just know this. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. Whatever the two of you decide. I honestly have no clue what to tell you about how I feel about you, Del. I’m confused. I’ve been confused for weeks. I’ll figure it out, but it’ll take time either way. I know how I feel about her. And I’m going to protect her from everything I can. If you’re not serious about this, walk away. She can’t do this if you’re not.

-I leaned in closer and brushed a kiss across Cay’s cheek- Baby Love, whatever you say to him changes nothing between us. I’m not going anywhere. You’re not going to lose me, and we’re not going to lose this. I promise you. But I know how you feel about him. And I know that something in you is never going to be able to move on unless you give him a chance. That’s ok with me. I need you happy.

Cay: ^He needed me happy. Did I truly deserve to be happy after everything I had put him through? Yet, here he was. Sacrificing what he wanted to give me something I wanted. I wasn’t sure how it was going to work. But I needed him to know that this was never something I was going to take for granted. He needed to know exactly what I felt for him. As the tears started to prick my eyes, I turned so I was looking only at my Daddy. I wasn’t sure if this was the right moment for it, but it needed to be said. My words were only for him, but it didn’t matter if Del heard them. They affected him just as much.^ You make me happy. And while you know that I have feelings for him, I’m in love with you. I can’t do this unless you’re okay with it.

^The subtle nod of Daddy’s head gave me some kind of strength. I needed to address this before I let anything go any further. There was so much going through my head that I wasn’t sure where to begin. But I knew what I wanted to say. I also knew that if I didn’t think everything through, I wasn’t going to give myself the chance to talk myself out of things. Turning away from Daddy, I pegged the man across from me with a stare.

All of this wasn’t just about giving him what he wanted. It was giving the three of us a chance to explore what this was, and if there was a reason to let it grow. But it was also something that could destroy all of us. I couldn’t risk it. I needed everything to be on the table. I needed my rules to be on the table.^ I want to try with you. I want to be the most selfish girl in the world. I want to have a Daddy and a Sir. I want both of you. And I would be lying if I said I didn’t want the two of you to try something together. But I won’t push Daddy into it. If this is what he’s okay with, than this is what we did.

You cannot run. There is no option of running. This isn’t a relationship that will survive if any one of us runs. You cannot shut us out. You can’t shut me out. You can’t shut him out. Because the two of you are going to need to figure out how all of this works. I can be told when and where to be, but the two of you need to work it out. Daddy knows my limitations. Especially since I run a business.

^Looking at the ground, I wasn’t sure how the next part of this would go. I knew what I wanted to say, but I knew Del would beat himself up over all of it. But again, communication was the key to everything here. I couldn’t lie to him about what I needed. I needed this before we could take a step into a playroom.^ We also can’t go into a playroom. Not yet. We need to start from scratch. We need to establish a relationship. I need to trust you again before we take that step. You have to prove to me that this isn’t just about wanting a sub. You claim to want me and Daddy in a way you have never wanted anyone else, so prove it. Show me that I’m not just a hole to stick your dick into.

Myrick: -I just sat and listened, shocked for a moment, but pleasantly so at the words that came out of Cay’s mouth. She had a point, and she was making it eloquently enough. She wasn’t asking for too much, and as much as she was insistent that she was selfish, I saw it as anything but. She didn’t have to give him a chance; she didn’t have to give me a chance either. She could have been selfish and kept herself away from both of us. Instead, she was willing to share herself with both of us. I didn’t think now was the time to tell her so though.

Instead, I leaned in and whispered against her ear as she waited for Del to reply- I love you, too. -tightening my arms around her and pulling her back into my chest again. I hadn’t said those words to anyone in that context in years. No one I had dated, not the last sub I’d worked with, no one, not since my first girlfriend in college when I went and got my heart broken and handed back to me in pieces before I knew what I was doing. This was different than any of that.

I didn’t know how this was going to end, but I hoped it ended for the better. There was every possibility that we were all going to end up hurt, but there was also every possibility that we were all going to end up happy. Right now, the next part of this was all in Del’s hands.-

Del: -Cay was right. There was no denying that. At least she was giving me a chance. I’d just been waiting for her to kick me out all this time. I wouldn’t have blamed her. It was well within what she would have been right to do. I just had my fingers crossed for more. She was laying her rules for this relationship out on the line. I’d lived in the whole BDSM world long enough to be used to rules, only I was the one who was usually laying out rules. Not that I’d had anyone who I’d spent enough time around to have a standing set of rules with anyone, and the more that I thought about it, the more I understood her point. I wasn’t reliable, at least I hadn’t proven myself to be. And trust was everything in what we were going in to. I had to give her a reason to trust me.-

Then we take our time. I’m willing to do it. I want this; I didn’t lie about that. And you’re far from just a hole to stick anything in. If it takes time for you to understand that, then we take however long you need. You’re worth it. -glancing over at Myrick- You’re both worth it. And if you never decide I’m there, then at least I got the chance. That’s more than I should ask for.  

Cay: ^I couldn’t help the small smile that was tugging at my lips as Daddy told me he loved me, too. It wasn’t a sentiment I had ever experienced. But to have it with him was everything to me. I wanted to cry, but I refused to show that kind of weakness. Besides, it hadn’t ever been something I did. I didn’t cry about things. That was a useless thing to do.

I nodded my head as Del spoke his peace. He was willing to go there for me. He was going to do something that he probably hadn’t ever done. He was putting everything aside to give me the chance to get comfortable with him. To trust him again. He was giving into my rules. Taking a breath, I gave him a small smile.^ I’m giving you a chance, Sir. Please don’t let me down.

^I let out an audible groan as my stomach let out a growl. I hadn’t exactly eaten all day. The shop had been busier than normal, and I didn’t want to leave Daddy alone in case someone showed up. But as the minutes passed, I knew what I wanted. It was going to be a hike, but I could have Daddy go grab it while I was counting the drawers. Grabbing the closest piece of paper, I quickly wrote down an order of fried wontons, beef udon, and the mongolian beef dinner special my favorite Thai place had. Holding the paper out to Daddy, I turned my attention back to the man in front of me.^ Can Daddy and I have the night to discuss things? Just so we can set boundaries in our relationship where you are concerned, Sir?

Del: -After expecting to be thrown out since I walked into the place, being asked to leave so they could discuss things was a nice relief. It wasn't forever. It was for one night- You absolutely can. But if he's okay with it, I'd like us to all spend some time together soon. -slides my hands into my pockets nervously before I realize I have to grab my coat and the scarf I stole before I can make an exit. My hands fumble out of the pockets and somehow find their way into the sleeves of the coat I brought without much incident, draping the scarf across my shoulders while my hands still grip the tails that drape across my chest.- I just… I don't want to waste any more time than I already have. -nodding before I make my goodbyes and walk myself down to the front door-

Myrick: -I pocketed the order knowing exactly what she was asking for as I made my way to the stairs behind Del, pausing for only a moment to steal a kiss from Cay before I follow him down- I love you, Baby Love. I'll be back soon. -fingers brushing her hair back behind one ear before I go to let him out the door.

We didn't speak.  I wasn't sure if it was because we'd said everything that there was to be said or because neither of us quite knew what to say to the other. I knew how to unlock the door and let him out, and how to lock it back behind me before I made my way out into the street to go pick up dinner for the two of us. She was going to have her usual, and I was probably going to wind up with mine. It was a comfortable routine, and I loved it.

I paused on the street, my hand going right for Del’s arm- Promise me one thing, Delly. Promise me you won't mess this up. She's good for you. She's good for both of us. And I'm not going to be able to forgive you this time if you ruin this for her. -I was putting a lot into this. I'd forgiven him so many times for so many things, but I meant what I said this time. This was the line-

Del: -Myrick’s hand on my arm wasn't what I expected. Neither were the words that came out of his mouth when I turned to face him, but he was right. He'd always forgiven me, no matter what kind of trouble I'd gotten the both of us into. I knew this time was different. But the sound of my nickname coming from his mouth brought an unbidden grin to my face- I promise, Ricky. I can't afford to fuck this up for either of us. I'm going to give this one all I've got. -I couldn't stop myself from reaching up to pat his cheek with a soft chuckle before I walked off down the street. I'd sent the car off earlier, and I didn't intend to call it back. I needed the time to think, and a walk and maybe a subway ride might give me the time I needed for it.-  

Cay: ^As soon as I heard the door close, I felt myself sag back against the couch for a second. I needed a minute to process everything. Just to take some time to breathe. I didn’t have to worry about keeping a mask on for either of the men that had been sitting in front of me. I wasn’t entirely sure of what was going to happen. There were a million and one different choices in this situation. But it was something I wanted to talk to Daddy about first.

We both could say that things were never going to change, but we knew the reality of our situation. Conversation was always going to be the most important thing. We needed to talk about everything before we could take another step.

Sending him to a Thai place that was on the other side of the Bronx hadn’t been a mistake. I needed the time to consider what I was doing. I needed some time. Besides, in my opinion, Shangrila was one of the best places in the borough. I wanted the Mongolian Beef badly. And for some reason, it was all I could think about.

As I got to the office, I stopped as I stared at the calendar. I hadn’t thought about the days of the week or anything else since I was almost always in the shop. But I felt myself doing the math as I thought back to the last time I had a period. Before I met Del at the club. My eyes went wide as I tried to figure out what the fuck was going on. Two months. At least.

I was moving in autopilot as I counted the money. There was so much going through my head that the obvious question didn’t sink in until I was locking the safe. If I was pregnant, whose was it? Sir and Daddy were both options. Reaching for my cell, I texted Cassi and asked if she could watch over the shop tomorrow. I couldn’t not go to the doctor. I had to know. ^

#IfYouLoveMeDontLetGo

[sinfulmyrick]

The Fire I Began Is Burning Me Alive (SL with @DayDividesNight and @ALittleBitNice)

Myrick: -The car ride was so much shorter than it seemed. I couldn’t help but play the last few weeks over in my memory as I sat and stared out the window at the buildings and cars that passed by on the way to the club that the girl who’d walked in our front door had sent me to. I didn’t even think she’d introduced herself, but I hoped she was giving Del hell back at the house. In my head he deserved it, even if just to get himself out of his head. I knew he was lost. I could tell a spiral when I saw one, and I’d known him long enough to know that he was either going to shake himself out of it by doing something reckless or have someone else slap it out of him.

I wasn’t sure I had it in me to slap him out of it this time. I had in the past, and I probably would again if he didn’t wind up pushing me away after all of this. I understood a little of what he was going through. He might not have spoken to me for weeks, but I hadn’t spoken to him either. Though, probably not for the reasons he was imagining. I knew him well enough to know he thought I was angry at him for this kiss, but I wasn’t. It had left me, lips stinging and mind wheeling, to wrap my brain around the fact that when he crashed his lips against mine it felt like something that should have happened a very long time ago. I wasn’t quite sure how to handle that.

I’d had a hard enough time coming to terms with the fact that I was what I was. I couldn’t even bring myself to say it at first, to admit the things that turned me on. It wasn’t what I was supposed to be, not what I’d been raised to be. I was supposed to be a lawyer, supposed to have  wife and three kids by now, wearing their perfectly coordinated monogrammed outfits in a professionally casual Christmas card photo from our house in Martha’s Vineyard.  I had a hard time living that disappointment down every time I had a phone conversation with my mother. There was no way I could tell her anything more than that. Not that it was her business, either.

My thoughts were rambling, wandering along the path of things that had happened to get me to this point. It had taken so long for me to realize that I was a Daddy dom, even with all the stigma and misplaced stereotypes that come along with that. There were people even in part of the lifestyle that called what I did sick. That always struck me as a little hypocritical, that people who had been written off as freaks could so easily write another human being off as a freak. I was only just getting to the point where I didn’t feel like an absolute freak myself. And then this happened.

So now I was questioning not  only my entire life, but my sexuality for the first time ever as well. I think if it had been anyone but Del, I’d have completely shut down, even worse than he had. We all needed to talk, we all had our problems, and our issues. They were hopefully things we could work out, but not alone. I hadn’t known how to find Cay, hadn’t known what to say even if I did find her, but I was going to go and try to do the best I could. I didn’t know a lot, but I knew Del and I both needed her more than he was willing to admit.

The car pulled to a stop in front of a club I didn’t recognize, but I did recognize the name, and the name of the shop next door I’d been told to go to. Stepping out of the car into the cool air of the street beyond, I pulled my scarf a little tighter around my neck before slipping my hands into the pockets of my jacket. One deep breath was all I allowed myself before I headed straight for the entrance, a chime going off as the glass door opened to announce my entrance. There was a girl standing off to one side of the shop, lavender hair curling gently between her shoulders, most definitely not the redhead I was looking for, but I hoped she’d be able to point me in the right direction. Walking over to tap her on the shoulder as I cleared my throat- Excuse me, but is Cay around?

Cassidy: *I jumped half out of my skin at the gentle tap followed by a cleared throat. I knew I’d heard the chime go off to show the door was opening, but I hadn’t expected anyone to sneak up behind me like that. I let out a half squeak turning around to find a guy about my age standing behind me. My eyes popping almost out of my head, it took me a few seconds to realize he was asking for Cay.

People popped in and out asking for her from time to time. Cay was the face everyone knew at the store, the one the regulars had come to trust about the merchandise the store carried. But this one wasn’t one of the regulars. My thoughts spun for a moment before one of the thousand conversations I’d had with Cay clicked into place and I knew exactly who this man was* Oh my fucking… You’re Myrick. *half bouncing as a grin spread across my face. Cay was in the back, grabbing a box of something or another out of the stock room. She told me weeks ago about the night she left the club after the BDSM theme party we’d had, and he was exactly like she’d described him.

She was probably going to freak the fuck out when I sent him back to her, but fuck it. She needed to talk to him. I had no idea how he’d found her, but I was so freaking happy he had* Ok, hold on. She’s in the back. I’ll tell her you’re here. *I poked him in the middle of the chest gently before holding up one finger to tell him to wait for me here before I wheeled around and dashed off into the door marked Staff Only to find my friend.*

Myrick: -The girl I’d spoken to didn’t even wait for a reply before she practically ran off into the door at the back of the room. I had no damn idea how she knew my name. Maybe the girl who’d sent me had called ahead. Maybe Cay had told her. I guessed it didn’t matter. She knew who I was, she knew where Cay was, and she was sending her out here to me. My heart was in my throat anyway, and I wasn’t entirely sure I could manage to speak after that. I had to get myself together before Cay walked out of that door and back into my life. I wasn’t even sure where to begin.-

Cassi: *Cay was easy enough to find. Her brilliantly red hair always stood out against the background wherever she was working. I used to be so jealous of that hair, the way it almost seemed to glow like it was on fire, but I’d gotten over it in the time I knew her. Slipping up behind my friend as I laid my chin on her shoulder with a broad smile.* You’ve got a visitor in the store, and you’re never going to guess who it is. *pulling back as I rocked a little on my heels, slipping my hands into my pockets*

Cay: ^I couldn’t help but jump slightly as Cassidy came in and rested her chin on my shoulder. I pondered her words as she mentioned a visitor, and I honestly had no ideas who it could be. I mean, it could be Del. But why?

I shook my head to get away from that line of thinking. I had promised Mellie I would focus on work and not the guys. I needed to not go down that line of thought. I couldn’t afford to get lost there. Not if I wanted to prove to Mellie and Cass that I wanted to own this place. I had to prove that I could take care of it.

Wiping my hands on my pants, I tried to get rid of the dust that was sitting there. Going through the delivery was something I loved, but it took so fucking long. I wouldn’t change it, though. I was passionate about this place, and I hoped the girls knew that.^ Yeah. I’ll go handle it. It’s probably one of the doms looking for something specific.

^I felt my feet taking me towards the shop, but my head was in a daze. I was more concerned with keeping food in my stomach than dealing with customers, but there was nothing I could do. I was the face of this place. I had to put a cheery smile on.

Pushing through the doors, I stopped dead in my tracks at the man standing in the middle of the shop. No one else was around, but him. There was no mistaking who he was, either. I knew the dark hair that lead to a pair of dark brown eyes. Those eyes were windows, though. They couldn’t hide any amount of fear or trepidation. They showed me what I needed to see. They showed me a man who just wanted to take care of the girl he was with. Those eyes had begged to take care of me.

Walking towards him, I took a breath and tried to calm my nerves. Had Del finally told him where I was? I hadn’t said a word to him about the club or the shop. So him finding me had to have been with outside help.^ Da… ^I stopped myself almost immediately. I wasn’t sure how he’d feel with me using that title here. But calling him Daddy had already become second nature.^ Myrick? How did you know where to find me?

Myrick: -I saw her in the same instant she saw me, so I could watch the recognition flow across her features when she saw who was waiting for her. I could only assume by the change in her expression that the girl who’d gone in after her hadn’t told her who was waiting. My hands slipped into the pockets of the jacket I was wearing of their own volition as I smiled up at her - Hi, Cay… -I wasn’t sure what to call her. I could hear the half syllable of the Daddy that had almost escaped her lips, but she’d shut it down almost before it had begun. I wasn’t sure she was ready for any of that yet, even though her first instinct was to use the title she’d given me back at the house that day.-

I’m not sure you’d believe me if I knew how to tell you. Can we just say a little birdie told me? -half shrugging when I let a grin spread across my face- I’m kind of really glad she did too. If I had to rely on Del to tell me where to find you, we’d all have been on Social Security before I had a half a clue. -sighing softly as I let the whole thing wash through my memory.

Del was back at home, hopefully getting hell from the girl who’d just walked into our front door like she owned the place. He needed it more than I knew how to tell him, and I wasn’t ever going to be able to be the one who gave it to him.- So, I’m sorry for how everything happened. I just… I didn’t know where to find you. I’d have come a long time ago if I did… - I could feel myself begin to babble as I looked into her eyes. I was going to have a hard time explaining all of this, but I needed her to know I hadn’t stayed away because I hadn’t wanted to see her or speak to her. I’d wanted to talk to her every day since the day she walked into that kitchen and asked for a cup of tea, but I hadn’t known where to find her or even how to start looking- I… -pulling my hands out of my pockets and raking both of them through my hair, leaving it unruly and as dishevelled as Del’s had been when I drug him out of bed a little while ago- I’m just sorry, ok?

Cay: ^As soon as Myrick said a little birdie, I knew who he was talking about, and I was going to kill her. I couldn’t believe she had stepped into this. Of all the people, I didn’t ever seeing Amelia jumping into the middle of my relationship. Shaking my head, I processed the apology.^ Why are you sorry? I’m the one that just disappeared. And stayed hidden.

^Taking a breath, I looked around the empty shop before holding up a finger. I didn’t want to have this conversation here when anyone could walk in. Running back to the back room, I gave Cass a quick heads up that I was taking Myrick upstairs to talk. Coming back to his side, I grab his hand and start pulling him down the hallway towards my place.^ Amelia had no right stepping in, but I’m glad she did. I should have come to you after everything. I knew where to find you. But I figured that neither one of you wanted anything to do with me since all I did was complicate things.

^Opening the door to my apartment, I could only take a breath as I tried to regain my composure. There was so much going through my head, but Myrick was here, standing right in front of me.^ I’m sorry, Myrick. I should have figured something out. And I shouldn’t have almost called you Daddy in the middle of the shop. It’s not a title I have a right to use.

Myrick: -I let her pull me towards the back of the store and up the stairs, not sure what to expect. The apartment she pulled me into was something of a surprise. Looking around the tiny space for a minute as she takes a breath and starts talking before I shake my head.- It’s a title I want you to use. -trying to catch her eyes with mine before I reach out and cup her chin, tilting her gaze up to mine when she won’t meet it right away.- So you can forget about that whole, no right to use it thing. Maybe I don’t have anything to apologize for. Maybe I do. Maybe it doesn’t matter. I’m glad Amelia stepped in and did what she did. At least I found out where to find you. -looking away when I let my hand drop back down to try to find hers, hoping like hell she doesn’t push mine away.- Listen, I know Del fucked up. I think Del knows he fucked up. I don’t know what the heck’s gotten into him or what’s wrong, but I know I really don’t care. He can figure this out or not, but I don’t want to throw you away just because he’s scared. -I had no idea where most of those words came from or why I was just letting them pour out of me like that. I just hoped she would understand what all the babble was about and decide I was worth the trouble-

Cay: ^I felt myself inhale sharply as Myrick said he wanted me to use the title of Daddy. There was so much that went with it, but I knew what that meant. I was going to have to make a conscious decision to be with him. Him being here proved he wasn’t going to run from me. He wanted to work things out. Everything he hadn’t been able to was stuff that was out of his control. I could relax around him and not walk on eggshells.

I wanted to be his Little Girl. I wanted it more than I had thought. The moment it was taken from me, I realized how much I mourned that loss. But it was being given back to me. I felt the tears pooling in my eyes before I huffed. I wasn’t the girl who got emotional over guys. I didn’t want to be this way. I just wanted to be normal. But I had to admit that this was more than I thought possible.^ I want to be yours. I will gladly take whatever title you want to give me, but I want to be yours. I want you to be my Daddy. I don’t care about anything else. I just want you.

^There was a nagging thought in my head as I said I didn’t care about anything else. The truth was that there was always going to be something else I wanted. But I knew what I wanted wasn’t something I could ask for. I couldn’t put myself out there for Del if this was what he was going to do to me at every turn. And right now, I was only going to get this from him. It was the only thing I had been shown. But Myrick was different. He was in front of me, apologizing for something that was never his fault.^

Myrick: -I could hear the tears in her voice before I saw the drops building in the corners of her eyes. The last thing I'd intended to do was to make her cry, and every part of me wanted to wrap her up in my arms and hold her until that wavering in her voice was gone. I knew there was some part of that statement that wasn’t exactly true, just as much as I knew she would probably never admit that out loud. I knew Del was a problem, not just for her, but for himself, and for me too if I admitted the truth as awkward as that felt. I’d dealt with all of the feelings of coming to terms with who I was before, readjusting my world view to take in the part of me that was a Daddy, the part of me that wanted to pull the girl in front of me into my arms and kiss the top of her head to make her happy, just to keep her safe and sheltered for as long as I possibly could. But there was a part of me that was having to do a whole other readjustment after that day, the one that admitted that maybe there was a little more than just a friendship going on between the two of us.

That was something we were all going to have to figure out, Del, Cay and myself. We had a lot of things going against us, but I was willing to try anyway. I needed this. I needed her. And I thought she needed me as well.

It was easy to give up and give in to the urge to pull her against my chest, to press my lips to the crown of her head and murmur softly into her hair- Baby Love, something tells me you’ve been mine since the minute you walked into that kitchen. - arms tightening around her and keeping her flush against my chest. I wanted to make this work, even if I had to shake some sense into Del on a daily basis. She was worth it. I was worth it. Even if this scared the life out of me to even consider-

Cay:  ^I felt myself tremble as I was pulled into Myrick’s arms. He had more truth in that one statement than he could have predicted. I was just as much his. The moment I asked for a cup of tea was cemented into my head. I had thought that was something that turned him away from me. Maybe he didn’t want to deal with me after that. Maybe I was worth too much trouble. I knew that was the truth where Del was concerned. It was why he hadn’t ever come to me.

I felt the tears start to travel down my cheeks as I let go of the part of myself that wanted Del. I couldn’t focus on it. I needed to give Myrick everything I had to give him a fair chance. He deserved that much. He deserved to have all of me. He was presenting me everything I could want. It wasn’t exactly something I was sure about, but it was something I was willing to try. Nodding my head, I tried to take a breath as I looked back up at him^ Then I am yours, Daddy. Yours and no one else’s.

Myrick: -I shook my head, hearing the words she told me, but also hearing the tone behind them. I knew that even saying that probably ripped part of her in half. I wanted her but not at the expense of the things she really wanted. My hands went to her face, thumbs stroking across her cheeks to gather the tears that spilled there. I leaned down, pressing my forehead against hers and making sure her gaze was locked with mine. I needed her to know I meant every word that I said- You can be mine and his if it’s what you want. There’s nothing wrong with wanting both of us, even though I know every single one of your instincts is screaming the exact opposite. I know how it feels to deny a part of yourself, to try not to want something that you actually need.

-I knew she was going to protest before she even opened her mouth, and the only way I could think to shut her up before she cut me off was to press my lips against hers in a long slow kiss, strong enough to take her breath away as my arms wrapped around her to crush her to my chest. Waiting until I pulled away just enough to take a deep breath and speak again-  I want you, just like you are. You don’t have to change anything or be anything that you’re not. Even if that includes wanting Del just was much as you want me.

-I knew I was babbling, and I could only hope that I made sense, that I wasn’t pushing her too hard or pushing her away. I needed her to know that this situation, as screwed up as it might seem to some, might be just the thing that worked for all of us-

Cay: ^There was something relaxing about Myrick telling me I was allowed to want both of them. But I wasn’t sure I could put into words why I couldn’t have that. Self preservation? I didn’t exactly have an answer for any of it. I knew that I didn’t care about what the world thought. I hadn’t cared since I left Philly. I didn’t have a reason to care. I saw what worrying about what others thought got me before. It was way too much of a problem for me. I didn’t like holding my tongue. I didn’t like taking people into consideration that would never try to take me into consideration first.^

I can’t lie. I can’t tell you that I don’t want him. But what I can tell you is that he’s not here. He hasn’t offered up any explanations about what has been going through his mind. I know that he’ll hurt me a lot more if I give him another chance. And I am not sure I should. Not until I know that he cares. I can’t give him the chance to hurt me again. Please don’t make me do it, Daddy.

^I felt the panic start as I talked about Del. I wasn’t at all ready to go there with him. I’d do it if I had to, but right now was not that time. It was too much for me to deal with. I was just starting to get over the hurt from the first time. I wasn’t sure I could handle it happening a second time.^

Myrick: -Frowning as I pulled her close, I could hear the hurt in voice, but above that I could hear the fear. I knew that Del was unpredictable, and I knew what that could mean for a sub like Cay that needed consistency. It was a nightmare for someone like that to have to deal with someone with walls. But maybe it was time to get Del to bring those walls down.

There was time for all of that, though. If I had anything to do with any of this, I was going to make sure we had a good long time, because I wasn’t losing Cay again- Listen, Baby Love. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do or aren’t ready to do. You know the rules just as well as I do. And you know I wouldn’t push you into anything you weren’t willing to do. It’s not my style. I want you happy, not scared or stressed. -pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head- We can talk about Del when and if you’re ready, and when and if he decides to get himself together.

Cay: ^I felt myself relax into Myrick’s arms. I felt myself give in to the protection he was offering. The care he wanted to give. I had been focusing on the negatives since he walked in, but I needed to stop and think about what he was actually offering me. It was a chance to be his Baby Love. To be his Little Girl. To explore something I hadn’t ever considered to be the right move for me.

But at the same time, I could feel myself screaming on the inside. I was begging for this. Begging myself to allow it. To need the man who had his arms wrapped around me. The walls I had up, I could keep up for Del. But not for Myrick. There was no way I was going to keep him out. I couldn’t. Not after everything. Not after how I had hurt him. I wanted to rush into everything, but I knew the truth. We needed to talk about what all of this meant, rules, and how this was going to work. Especially with me running the shop all the time.^ So be my Daddy? Give me everything you think I need in my life.

Myrick: -Here was this girl in my arms offering me everything I’d ever wanted. I could feel the warmth of her body melting through my shirt into my chest. I wasn’t going to ever be able to walk away from her without leaving a part of myself behind. I didn’t even want to try. We had a lot to talk about though. This life came with rules and codes of behavior, all of which had to be talked out ahead of time. I leaned down to press a kiss to the top of her head, pulling her in as close as I could get her for the moment before I had to give her room to breathe and think.- Alright, LIttle Girl. I’d love to be your Daddy. -moving so that my hand cupped her chin and leaned her gaze up to mine- But it’s not just that easy. You know we have a lot of talking to do. And I know you’re supposed to be working. -Suddenly I was feeling guilty about dragging her away from downstairs, even though Amelia had sent me here and the girl downstairs had seemed thrilled see me. I knew this was going to work out, but the details had to be hammered out-

Cay: ^I could only press myself closer to him. This man had quickly become the one person I couldn’t see myself existing without. There was, of course, the nagging thought in my head about Del. But I couldn’t let it distract me from what was in front of me. I could see the worry on his face, and I knew what he was worried about.^ Amelia sent you to me. She knew you were going to pull me away. Cassidy is down there, and she’s fine. After all, the shop technically belongs to her and Mellie. It was one of Mellie’s gifts.

^Taking a breath, I pressed my chin into his hand as I looked at the dark eyes that saw every inch of my soul. This was what I wanted. I wanted to be cared for in a way I had never experienced.^ I’m open to sorting all of this out now. I know there’s a lot to work out.

Myrick:-grinning as I lean down to pull her into another kiss before I lean my forehead against hers, looking into her eyes. I couldn't believe I was doing this, that I'd found someone who made me want to do this again. Cay was everything I'd ever wanted and more than I'd dared to dream was even possible. The fact that Del was part of the deal didn't even give me pause. I knew him well enough to figure that he'd come around eventually, but I could only hope that Cay would give him a chance. That was something we could work out if the time came. Hopefully, Amelia would knock some sense into him- So, Little Girl, maybe we should sit down.

-laughing softly as I look into her eyes- We have a lot to talk about I think. -pressing my lips to hers again without letting her go, though I was suggesting that we sit and talk. I was having a hard time letting her go-

Cay: ^I could only nod as I took Myrick's hand and led him to the couch. It was surreal to have this conversation in my apartment, but I would take what I could get. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was getting myself into, but I was excited. Settling onto the cushions, I pulled one of the throws I had sitting around to my chest. I couldn’t deny that I was mildly afraid of what we were stepping into, but I knew I needed this. I needed his rules and his affection. I needed to be taken care of.

Tucking a lock of my red hair behind my ear, I looked at the man who was seated next to me. I could tell the distance was bothering him, so I did the only thing I could think of. Moving closer, I forced him to wrap his arms around me as I relaxed into his embrace^ Rules and punishments first, Daddy?

Myrick: -pulling her closer into my chest, my head resting easily on the top of her head to press a gentle kiss to her crown. I’d wanted her closer the minute she sat down, and she must have known it the way she curled perfectly into my chest and fit into my arms like they were made for her.

She asked about rules and punishments as she tucked herself into my chest, and I could feel the wheels turning in my brain. It had been a long time since I’d had a conversation anything like this with anyone, and never with anyone I could remember feeling like this about. I wanted this to be perfect, and I knew she wasn’t used to the whole Daddy-Little thing. This was a new world for her, and I was excited to explore it all with her- Well, Little Girl, I think that’s something we can definitely talk about. There’s Punishments with a capital P and with a lowercase p. -laughing softly as I press a kiss to your head- Punishments for play-time and fun, and Punishments for breaking rules. Rules in the playroom and rules for every day. I know we have a lot of options here, and they’re all up for discussion.

-stealing another kiss before I continue, loving the feel of her in my arms and pressed to my chest- I know you have a lot of questions, Little Girl. Do you mind me calling you that?

Cay: ^I couldn’t hide my smile as he stole another kiss. There was nothing for me to say. I knew this was going to be a long conversation. I knew I was already going to have a lot of adjustments. It wasn’t just about following his rules when we were together. There was the amount of trust he had in me to follow the rules when he wasn’t around. There was no doubt that I wanted to do this. I knew it was going to take some adjustments.^ I am very much your Little Girl, Daddy. If that is how you want to address me, that is fine.

^I couldn’t help but think about what I was getting myself into. It wasn’t just about being collared. Of course, that was something I wanted. But could I do this and still do my job? Could I still be his Little Girl and be the boss in the store? I knew I was just letting my anxieties get the best of me. The shop wasn’t going to change anything. If anything, it would enhance. It would also give me a new demographic to cater to.^ What are your rules, Daddy? What do I need to do every day to be a good girl?

Myrick: -I couldn’t help but smile as she moved in closer and started asking questions after telling me she was my Little Girl. It was a lot to take in, but I was enjoying every minute of it. Rules were absolutely something we could come up with, and we could and should discuss every bit of them. I wanted her to know she had as much say in this process as I did. She was able to end everything with a single word.

I knew she wasn’t new to all of this, even if the titles weren’t something she was used to. In essence it wach much like every other Dom/Sub relationship, even if it worked out a little differently in practice. A lot of Doms were authoritative, sometimes they came off a little cold and emotionless. Daddy Doms were different, more indulgent of their Littles, more protective and more playful. It wasn’t about having someone act like they were a kid, but it was about being able to take care of someone in every way I could possibly manage, being able to protect and indulge Cay in any way I could.

Rules were always a little different for each person, for each couple and each dynamic. They needed discussion and to take what everyone needed into account-

Well, Little Girl, I think first we need to set a night or two every week when we can be together. I know you work, and you live here. -looking around the space with a grin- We can meet here or at my place, but I just want to have nights I know I’m going to see you. -runs my hand slowly through her hair, watching the way the red flowed between my fingers- And I’d like to pick out what you’re wearing for the week, at least under your clothes- chuckling softly as I gently twirled a lock of hair around my finger.- If that’s alright with you.

Cay: ^I could only purr softly as Daddy’s fingers combed through my hair. It was something I had always loved. There was something about a guy who was willing to just play with it that made me feel cherished and special. It was as if he was truly trying to take care of me. I appreciated it.

Thinking about his words, I felt my head bob in a slow nod. I could give him nights. I was going to have to if I wanted this to work out. But I knew it was going to be tricky until I talked to Mellie and Cass about all of this. There was no way I was going to be able to juggle the shop and my relationship without them, at least at the beginning.^ It’s something I have to talk to my bosses about. ^Biting down on my bottom lip, I wondered how much I should tell him. But i knew I had to be completely open and honest if I wanted this relationship to work.^ Mellie and Cass want to give me the shop. They want me to own it since I’ve been running it without their help for the most part. I don’t want to leave them in the dark about what’s going on with us, because it could cause problems here. If it’s not too much of a hassle, would it be a problem if we met here? That way I can be at the shop when I need to be, you can feel free to join me, or you can go exploring. Or even help Mellie with the club. Honestly, it’s whatever you feel more comfortable with, Daddy.

Myrick: -I couldn’t begin to put into words the way her purr hit me right in the center of my chest. The grin that melted its way across my face. I kept my fingers in her hair while I listened to her talk. Meeting here was absolutely fine, and so was Cay talking to her friends. Because as much as she tried to imply they were her bosses, I’d met both of them, and they cared about her far more than just bosses had any right to. And that was perfectly fine with me. She needed someone to worry about her, someone to care about her. I intended to do just that, but for right now, I saw Amelia and Cassidy as allies in that job.

I let out a soft chuckle and shook my head- No, it wouldn’t be a problem at all to meet here. It’s more about making you comfortable for me. I can be anywhere with you, and as for me finding something to do, well, I’ll figure it out. I’ve never actually been in a shop like the one downstairs before today. -shaking my head and rolling my eyes at my own inexperience with a few things. I’d been around Del for a long time, but I was always going to be myself. There were always going to be things I would take time getting used to, things it took me time to come to terms with about myself, and walking into a room where the walls were lined with equipment that the people I’d grown up with would treat me like a leper for even knowing the uses of was something I was still working on. I’d have walked into a volcano if I’d known Cay was waiting for me on the other side, though. That hadn’t taken a moment of second thought.-

Cay: ^My lips curved into a smile as I thought about his words. I could tell they weren’t a lie. It was a realization of the way he was brought up. Anything that was against what his parents believed in was looked down upon. For my family, it was whatever the church deemed appropriate. I had a feeling that this was not what my parents wanted for me. There was so much that they wouldn’t approve of. But it didn't matter.

I could feel myself starting to drift to a spot I was going to struggle to get out of. I needed to focus on the man that was wrapped around me.^ Poke around the shop. Look at things you might want to try. I’ve got one of everything besides the costumes. And I’m not sure if it’s something you’d consider, but we can custom order any necklace or collar you want. Ever since I showed up here, Mellie and Cassidy have started to cater to the BDSM crowd. They want them to feel just as accepted.

^I bit down on my bottom lip because I realized I was starting to ramble. But I was still so unsure of so much. But this was right.^ I can text you every day before I get dressed. That’s not a problem.

Myrick: -I couldn’t help but laugh softly when she encouraged me to look around the shop. I had to admit I was curious. I’d seen things in other places, been to a club or two that Del dragged me to, even had a membership in one for awhile. But I was still relatively new to a lot of things. Not everything, god knows Del made sure I had exposure to enough of it to know what I was doing. I had to thank him for that much, just as much as I needed to slap him for the rest of it. -

I’d like that. -noting the way she bit down on her lip nervously cutting herself off. I didn’t want her to censor herself, no matter how much she felt like she was babbling or didn’t make sense. To be honest, I wanted to hear everything that she was thinking, everything that was going on in that head of hers, but I wasn’t exactly sure how to tell her that without sounding like a weirdo.- I’d like anything to do with you actually. -grins and leans in closer-

And as for rules… Rule number one is, you’re going to have to let me spoil you however I want to. It’s my one hard and fast rule. No exceptions. -laughing softly as I brush a kiss across Cay’s forehead- And rule number two is Daddy gets to decide when and if you get to cum. -grinning against her skin as I tug her closer into my side to wait for a reply to the two things I’ve thrown out there for her. In the end, I can lay out as many rules as I want, but it’s up to her to accept them or not. -

Cay: ^I could only take a breath as Daddy spelled out the first two rules. I knew the first rule was coming, but that didn’t make it any easier for me to accept. I wasn’t used to being spoiled. It wasn’t something I ever had in my family. Yes, I was the youngest child. But in a catholic home? There was no spoiling to be done. Not when there was so much worshipping to be done. The children were secondary to God. It wasn’t something I had ever agreed with.

I felt my stomach start to turn as I thought about how to tell him to not spoil me. But I knew it wasn’t going to work. He was going to do it even if I didn’t want it to be done. But I knew I needed to tell him that I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.^ I can’t promise that I won’t put up a fight to being spoiled. I’ve always worked hard for everything. Even something as simple as being seen in my family took a lot of effort. So having someone come in and say the only thing I don’t get any say about is being spoiled is a shock. I can promise to try and accept everything.

^It wasn’t ever going to be a problem with the second rule. It was something I had mastered, but hadn’t put into practice as of late. I didn’t need a reason to. But I knew that I was going to have to get back in the swing of things. I was going to have to get back into practice. It was standard operating procedure in the BDSM world. Most doms didn’t want their subs to orgasm unless it was under their hand. I wasn’t stupid enough to deny this rule.^ As for your second rule, I can’t say I’m totally surprised that it’s in there. If Daddy wants complete control of my orgasms, then Daddy has them. They are for him and him alone.

^I wasn’t sure if the orgasms were more for him or for me. I wanted to play it off like it wasn’t his way of being possessive. I didn’t want to think that it was his way of keeping Del off of my mind. But there was that small part of me that felt like Daddy needed to put this out there. That the only choice I had was him. And that was something I needed to believe just as much.^

Myrick: -Rules and guidelines were part and parcel of the life that we'd chosen to lead here. And following them was part of the submissives choice to submit to their dominant. The nature of the rules varied from relationship to relationship, but in the end they were the submissives decision about whether or not they were reasonable, no matter how much a Dom might argue about being the one in charge, in truth, the power to end something always lay in the hands on a submissive.

Gauging from Cay’s reaction to the first rule I’d set up, I was pretty sure how she was going to react to the third one I was about to set out, but it was absolutely necessary as far as I was concerned. I knew how she felt about herself. I could see it in her eyes when she heard me talk about never being in a sex shop like the one downstairs before. I knew it because I knew exactly how I felt about myself at times, and how I'd felt about everything in the past. I could read it on other people in a moment, just like I could read it on Del every time I saw him- Rule three…. -combing her hair back behind her ear to cup her jawline and make her look up into my eyes- No matter what happens, you aren't to talk down about yourself. You're mine, and what's mine isn't ever broken or bad. -leaning down to rest my forehead against hers, as I waited for her response to my last sentence. I knew that struggle. I knew exactly how it felt to think you were defective and incapable of leading what was supposed to be a normal life. I'd worked through that even though it popped back up at times, and I had to wrestle it back down into the depths where it belonged. But the last thing I ever wanted Cay to think was that she was defective or that there was anything wrong with her-

Cay: ^I could only close my eyes as Myrick said I wasn’t to ever talk down about myself. It wasn’t a rule that was going to be hard to follow. But it was something I was going to struggle with internally. I always thought about myself as not being good enough. And those thoughts had gotten stronger since both men had shown an interest. I didn’t seem worthy for either of them. And as I grew to learn more about Myrick and where he came from, I realized that I wasn’t good enough.

It didn’t have anything to do with the lifestyle. This was the only place I felt like I belonged. The problem came with the reality of going out and meeting people who weren’t in this lifestyle. I didn’t know how to handle myself outside of the lifestyle. I wasn’t entirely sure how to make myself be the woman that deserved to be on the arm of Myrick. But I could be the Little Girl who wanted to make her Daddy proud. And if that meant fighting this struggle internally, I could do it.

But I knew it was breaking one of the most sacred pillars of our lifestyle. There needed to be communication between a dom and his sub. And if a Daddy Dom wasn’t the safest person to tell those fears of insecurity to, then what was I doing? I knew he wanted nothing more than to take care of me. Even if it was to silence my mind when the thoughts of not being good enough came to the surface.^ I promise to talk to you if the feelings of being broken or not good enough come to an unmanageable place. I’m a girl, Daddy. I’m going to have doubts and insecurities. I’m going to think I’m not good enough for you on more than one occasion. I can’t promise that I will be able to keep those feelings quiet. But what I can promise is to come to you and talk if they get to be too much.

Myrick: -I processed what she was telling me immediately. It wasn’t fair of me to ask her to control her thoughts and I knew it. I shouldn’t have even asked. Screwing this up was one of the things that scared me the most, even though at times I was loath to admit it. I needed her. I needed her to need me just as much, but I was also human. I had to admit I was going to make mistakes, and that the best thing for both of us was to have an open line of communication between the two of us. Above all of that, she needed that from me, to be able to talk to me and tell me how she was feeling without fear of punishment or being afraid to be judged.

I pulled Cay into my side, pressing another kiss against the gentle curve of her forehead.- Then, that’s all I can ask isn’t it, Baby Love? I just want you to know how much you’re treasured, and I need you to listen to me when I tell you. Just like you need me to listen to you when you need to get out your head noise. I promise I’m going to be right here until you tell me you don’t want me to be anymore, and that I’m going to do my best to take care of you because it’s what I need. All the rest is just trimmings and formalities. I know you know that. The rules are negotiable, and there are going to be days when all we need is each other and not the rules. I get that. You just have to tell me, ok?

-I took a deep breath, thinking over what had happened since the night this girl walked into my front door wrapped around my roommate, since the morning when she stumbled sleepy and dishevelled into our kitchen to ask for a cup of tea and call me Daddy without really understanding what the word meant to me until it was too late and she was firmly entrenched in my heart. I wasn’t going to lose her again, whatever that took-

Cay: ^I could understand why conversation was going to be important. He wasn’t going to know what was bothering me or if I was having trouble if I didn’t talk. But I knew why he felt his rules were important. I could tell more about him just in the way he held himself. His rule about talking down about myself wasn’t because he thought I was better than I was, it was because negativity got us nowhere.

But I knew the realistic expectations. I knew that the only way to fight those urges was to talk about them. I also wanted to have him understand that I needed the opportunity to talk to him. I needed his help in all of this. I still wasn’t sure about being a little. Especially with him. I knew I wanted him, though. I hadn’t felt this complete in a very long time.^ Okay, Daddy. I can tell you.

^Biting down on my lip, I knew there was so much that we still needed to figure out. And there was one thing I wasn’t sure of. I mean, I knew the answer in my gut. But it was something we needed to be clear on. I wasn’t going to break a rule because I didn’t know. And it was better to ask the questions rather than to just assume the answers to them.^ Will this be a full time thing or will we just have dedicated playtime? And should I address you as Daddy if we’re out in public? And by public, I don’t mean the club or the shop. No one will look twice if I call you Daddy in either place. Mellie and Cass have both made it well known that you’re to accept anyone and everyone in either place, regardless of their interests. As long as their interests are legal.

Myrick: -I pondered over what she’d asked me for a moment. I’d never done anything quite like this before, at least not fully. Everything before had been part time or just in the playroom, but I wanted it… Hell, I needed it, especially because of how I felt about her. - If you’re up for it, I think full time. At least I’d like it, and you can call me Daddy anywhere, unless it makes you nervous or uncomfortable, and, as odd as it might sound coming out of your mouth, I suppose you can call me by my name. -I didn’t really care what anyone who overhead Cay might think of what she called me. She was my Little Girl whether they liked it or not, but I didn’t want her to have to feel shy or nervous about it. I knew how judgemental people could be about things. I’d been through enough of it myself since all this started. I’d judged myself plenty of times all because of the way I’d been brought up.

All of that just made me want to pull Cay into my side more tightly, to keep her as close as I could. She was the piece I’d been missing all my life, and I wasn’t going to let anything mess that up. Leaning down to brush my lips across hers out of instinct for the moment brought a grin to my face as I feel the heat of her breath brush across my skin. It felt right, more right than anything had for the rest of my life, and I knew for the first time in a very long time that this was exactly where I was meant to be.-

Cay: ^I could only giggle softly against Daddy’s lips. It was natural to feel like this. It wasn’t something I was used to, but it was something I loved. I just wanted to keep feeling this way. I wasn’t at all ready to give this feeling up. I’d do anything to keep this feeling. And knowing that the only thing I had to do was be myself to keep it was a relief. He wasn’t forcing me to be something I wasn’t. We both knew I wasn’t exactly sure about being a little. But we knew I was willing to try. And if it didn’t work, it didn’t work. We’d figure something out.

I loved the idea of him putting me ahead of anything else. I could call him Daddy at any time. I could call him Myrick if I felt it was more appropriate. But I knew the truth. He wasn’t ever going to be Myrick. It didn’t feel natural. I couldn’t even think the name without a small shudder sliding through my body. It didn’t feel respectful. Especially not if he wanted me to call him Daddy.^ From the moment I met you, you were Daddy. I didn’t even know your name. I knew that you were Daddy. And if I’m not mistaken, I called you that without stopping to think about the consequences. It didn’t matter that we weren’t alone. I called you Daddy. Because, to me, that is who you are. You’re not Myrick. You never have been. You’re my Daddy.

^I didn’t give him a chance to respond before I moved to sit across his lap. I was done talking, and both of my bosses knew that I wasn’t going to be back down. They had to have known that I was going to figure something out the moment they sent me off with him. My lips brushed over my Daddy’s lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull myself closer. I wanted everything about this man. I wanted everything he could give me. I needed the adventure we were about to take. And there was no one I wanted to take it with more than him.^ #TheFireIBeganeIsBurningMeAlive

[sinfulmyrick]

If What You Are Is Just What You Own (SL with @LustByTheHour and @GlamSweatSugar)

Amelia: ^Syd had gotten back to me shortly after I went to the club. I wanted to make sure everything was in order before open. I knew the minute I had the address I wanted, I wasn’t going to be here. I was going to go down and see them. I didn’t care if I ended up going to Long Island, I was going to fix this as much as I could for Cay. It was part of who I was. I protected those I kept close. I may not have wanted her to be close, but Cassi did. So in giving Cassi everything she wanted, I was letting Cay in.

The address wasn’t what I had been expecting. Manhattan was not a cheap place to live. Upper West Side was impressive. But I had a feeling I was going to be getting more than what I had asked for. I trusted my gut. I knew there was more to the situation than Cay was telling me. I knew Myrick didn’t know where to find her. He hadn’t been to the club. He didn’t know about the shop. I was willing to bet that he was clueless about where to find Cay. That was something I could fix. Tell him what he was looking for. Send him on his way.

Del was the problem. He knew where she was. At the very least, he knew the club existed. And every last person in that club knew where to find Cay. So him not coming to her was a bigger deal. I felt myself turn into the woman that was a hardass. The one that protected everything that had my name attached to it. As the driver stopped in front of the condo, I felt myself growl.^ I’m gonna send a man out. Take him back to the shop. I’ll find my own way back.

^I didn’t hesitate as I walked up the stairs. I knew what I was coming for. I was on a goddamn mission for the woman that took care of my shop. I didn’t bother with the doorbell, though. I wanted whoever was inside to know that I was pissed. Pounding my fist on the wood, I waited almost impatiently for someone to answer^

Myrick: -The sudden pounding on the door made me jump half out of my skin. Leo started barking immediately, though it only took a quick command to make him be quiet before I pushed up from the place I’d been curled up on the couch reading a book. Leaving it discarded on the cushion before I made my way to the door, cautiously opening it to reveal a woman who appeared to be about my age with a look of consternation painted all over her face. I raked a hand through my hair, nervously and looked her over- Umm… Hi. Can I help you? -I had no idea who she was or what she wanted, but I seriously hoped that rage in her eyes wasn’t for me. I’d been in a bit of a fog since Cay left that morning, and things around here had been tense. I hadn’t caught more than a glimpse of Del as he moved from one room to another. He never stayed in one place very long, except for his room.

I wasn’t certain I would know how to talk to him anyway. Even beginning to bring up what had happened between us was more than I could manage. I was only just hoping we could find something like normal again before my best friend wouldn’t talk to me ever again. I didn’t know if I’d ever see Cay again with the way she’d left and left me with no way to find her again. New York was a big city, and you could live a lifetime in it without ever running into some people even once, much less more than once.

I had no idea who the stranger was in front of me on the doorstep with an idling car waiting behind her at the curb, but I knew that this was going to be at least something interesting.-

Amelia: ^I was in for a shock when the door opened. I knew this wasn’t the man I was angry at. This was the innocent bystander in all of this. Myrick, or as Cay liked to call him, Daddy. There was a lot I wanted to say, but I knew I shouldn’t. Not with him. I knew the best thing for Cay was to work it out with Myrick.

They needed to talk, and they needed to talk alone. They didn’t need any sort of pressure. They didn’t need anyone hanging around. It was why I was so sure the idea to send him in the car was the right one.It would absolutely give him the opportunity he needed to at least talk to Cay. Even if that was all they did. I couldn’t blame either one of them if they didn’t have the next part of their plan worked out. But in reality, he couldn’t make a move. He didn’t have the whole picture.

Clearing my throat, I looked the man in front of me up and down. I could see the nerves in his eyes, so I did the only thing I could think to do. I felt my face soften before the words came out of my mouth. I had to be nice to him. There wasn’t any other option for me.^ I need to speak with Del. And you’re going to jump in that car and take a trip to the Bronx. There’s an adult toy store that specializes in BDSM equipment next door to a club. The club is called Trinity. The shop is called Little Shoppe of Temptations. You haven’t come looking because you didn’t know where she was. I’m giving you that information. Tell Del he has a visitor, and go to her. Figure out what the fuck happened. Figure out what you want the two of you to do. And please, keep in mind that that is all you need to worry about. The two of you. I will worry about Del. Now go tell him he has a visitor.

Myrick: -I knitted my brows together as she spoke. I knew exactly who she was talking about without her ever saying the name. Cay… of course Del met her a club and hadn’t told me a single thing about where to find her. I cursed him under my breath, and just nodded to the woman waiting outside- Come in. I’ll go get him, but I can’t promise you he’s going to be pleasant. He’s been a mope for weeks now. -shaking my head as I move out of the way to let her into the foyer with a nod- Give me a minute and I’ll go get him. -frowning as I worried my lower lip between my teeth. I hadn’t actually spoken to Del to say more than hello since that day, and I wasn’t sure how he was going to react to the ball of fire that was standing down at the base of the stair waiting for him.

I wasn’t entirely sure I cared either. He’d been a fuck up over this whole incident, and made it harder on everyone than it has to be. I had no idea how Cay was faring, but judging from the expression of her friend downstairs, it was probably bad. A single knock on Del’s door was all he was getting. After that, I was just going in.

It took me about 30 seconds to screw up the courage to head into the room without him answering before I put my hand on the knob, just in time to see his face, hair dishevelled and clothes a mess. I nodded and pointed down the stairs- You’ve got someone here to see you, and I’m heading out. -I turned on my heels to head back down the stairs without waiting for a reply, though I mumbled something about him needing all the luck he could find for this one before I headed back downstairs, taking the steps two at a time until I could grab my scarf and jacket off the hook by the door with a parting nod to the stranger standing there waiting- He’ll be down in a minute. Don’t hold back on him. -I shut the door behind me and walked over the waiting car, sliding into the backseat with a simple greeting to the driver before we took off for the Bronx-

Del: -grumbling to myself when Myrick turned on heel to leave without another word. I’d been asleep when he walked up the stairs. Hell, I’d been sleeping a lot lately, mostly to avoid Myrick and dealing with the bullshit I’d brought down on myself making stupid decisions and letting my heart lead me around by the dick. I didn’t know who was at the bottom of those stairs, but I more than half hoped it was Cay coming around to give me a chance to act like less than half a moron. I also more than half hoped it wasn’t her, so I didn’t have to actually deal with the fact that I was a moron.

Whoever it was, I wasn’t going to walk downstairs looking like absolute shit. I might feel like it, but I could run my fingers through my hair and put on an actual shirt before I hit the stairs. It gave me time to compose myself so I could readjust some walls before I had to talk to anyone. At least to throw a few more bricks in just in case something was about to try to send them all crashing down around my ears.

It was a quick walk down from my room, but I wasn’t expecting what was waiting for me down at the bottom. I didn’t know this girl from Adam’s housecat, but it was pretty damn clear she was mad. If looks could kill I wouldn’t have made it off the second floor landing alive. It took me a minute to search her features to make sure it wasn’t someone I knew, but once I was certain at the bottom of the steps, I folded my arms across my chest- You sure you have the right house?

Amelia: ^There was so much I could say. There was so much I wanted to say. But the tone of his voice was what pissed me off the most. The accusation was there. There was no doubt in my mind that this was exactly who I was looking for.

I heard Myrick’s voice echoing in my head he told me to not hold back. My intention was to never hold back from him. I wanted him to know the pain he caused. I wanted him to know that not only had he fucked with the wrong girl, but in doing so, he fucked with the wrong business owner.^ Do you think Myrick would have let me in the house if I wasn’t at the right place? Do you think I would have sent some random stranger to Cay’s house if I was in the wrong place? No, Mr. Everly. I am exactly where I need to be. And you need to listen. Because I’m done with the bullshit. I’m done with the walls. I’m done with you hurting my employee because you’re confused.

^I could feel the anger burning in my chest as I tried to keep my temper under control. This was how I got when people messed with Cassi. This was not how I ever planned to react to Cay. But I loved the little redhead. Cassi and I were all she had. We were the ones who were going to protect her when she had no one else. We were the ones that were picking up the pieces to this disaster. All because someone didn’t have the balls to come fucking talk to her.^ Not only did you treat a submissive like she was garbage, but you didn’t have the full story about her. I can understand why your roommate never came looking for her. He had no fucking clue where to find her. But you? See, you met her in my club. So you don’t have that excuse. You never came back looking for her. You never asked questions. Everyone there knew where to find her. But instead, you chose to destroy her. Am I wrong?

Del: -I froze when she used our names and told me exactly the last thing I’d expected to hear when I saw her waiting there. She was mad and evidently for good reason, though I’d had no idea what effect all of this had taken on Cay. I hadn’t stopped for a minute to even consider that I was that important in her life, that anything I’d done could have had enough impact on her to matter. Maybe that was self-centered as fuck, to think that I was the only one who was hurting or scared, but it’s what I was.

I’d expected Cay to go on about her normal life, like she’d been before I ever walked into that club. The idea that she wouldn’t be able to had never crossed my mind. I glanced up and caught the blazing eyes of the woman who stood in front of me, and hadn’t so much as introduced herself outside of the reference she’d made to owning the club I’d met Cay in and being Cay’s boss. I had no idea what to call her or how to address her, but that didn’t stop my mind from flaring up at the words she threw like grenades into my path- Maybe she was better fucking off without me. -And there was the truth coming bubbling up, unbidden. The way I really felt deep down, not that she wasn’t good enough or that I didn’t want her, but that I wasn’t good enough and was never going to be to give her anything like what she needed or wanted.

Cay could do better and I’d be on my own, without having to be terrified of losing anyone, able to just worry about getting myself from point to the next without too much fuss and bother. -

Lia: ^I wanted to smack him across the face. I understood sacrificing your own happiness. But he wasn’t the only one suffering. There were other people that were in this besides him. This was more on the selfish side. Del wanted to see Myrick suffer. That’s what he was doing. Forcing them to suffer right along with him. I closed my eyes as I took a breath to try and calm myself. This was getting me nowhere, but he needed to open his fucking eyes. He needed to see that this wasn’t just about him.^

Maybe she is better off without you, As a matter of fact, I know she is. But guess what, asshole. It’s not just about you. Jesus Christ, it’s not just about her. Have you even seen your roommate lately? Or are you hiding from him, too? Too ashamed to let him see you since you cracked and kissed him? Don’t want to admit that you loved the idea of watching him fuck Cay?

^I could only shake my head as I got angrier and angrier. This wasn’t just about Cay anymore. The person I was most upset over was Myrick. Because the truth was, he got the short end of the stick. He was the one that probably felt like he didn’t matter to either of them. It was something I knew I was going to have to talk to Cay about after all was said and done, though.^ Guess what, Del? It’s not just about you! You want to shut the world out? Great! Go for it. But Myrick is miserable, too. I met the guy for five seconds, and it looks like his dog got shot. And I know his dog is alive! You kept her from him. You didn’t just punish yourself. You didn’t just punish Cay. You punished the most innocent member of this entire fuck up. Yes, Cay knew where you were. You knew where Cay was. But Myrick? He had no fucking clue. And that’s on both you and Cay. But you could have helped him. Jesus Christ, I didn’t think doms were supposed to be this selfish, but you take the fucking cake.

Del: -I was fucking speechless. Here was this girl, who still hadn’t told me her name, cutting down to the bone with every word that she said. She wasn’t wrong. I was a selfish asshole, who didn’t deserve shit. I could have told her that before she ever even started. But dragging them down with me wasn’t something I’d ever considered. I’d thought I was doing them a favor by keeping myself out of their lives, but I didn’t know how to tell her that, not when she was saying the exact same shit to me I said to myself when no one else was around. I took another breath and just shook my head, making some sort of weird sound that was supposed to pass for a word, but it got stuck in my throat. I could feel myself choking on all the things I wanted to say but couldn’t, so here I was stuck, not sure I was even going to be able to breathe with her waiting on me to say something. All of this was my fault. She was absolutely right about that, but I didn’t think me stepping up and being a part of their lives was going to make it any better. All I could do was turn away and make an attempt to clear my throat- I’m not going to argue with you. You’re not wrong. I’m a selfish asshole, ok? I get it. A terrible dom? Probably… You’re not telling me anything I haven’t told myself already. -my eyes were stinging as I shook my head trying to clear it, teeth dragging across my lower lip almost hard enough to draw blood-

Amelia: ^I shook my head before falling onto the couch with a sigh. How was it possible that I was destroying a guy that was supposed to be the toughest of the lot? Shaking my head, I let my fingers comb through the golden fur of Myrick’s dog. I knew I had to think my words over carefully.^ I think that you’re not thinking clearly. I think that Cay scares you. But in reality, that fucking girl scares everyone but Cassi. She has a way of getting into people’s heads. She doesn’t know that she has that power.

^Shaking my head, I felt myself relax slightly. I knew this wasn’t exactly my story to tell, but I needed Del to understand why Cay was the way she was. Why she hadn’t come to them.^ Cay came to us just under a year ago. She was a kid. Barely 18, but then again Cassi and I were barely adults. We had been running the shop for a while, and I was serious about spending time with Cassi. I wanted to give her everything in the world. Cassi wanted a sex toy shop. So I gave it to her. Within weeks of opening it, a lost little redhead walked in. Cay needed a place to live and work. I was very hesitant. But Cassi wasn’t. There was an apartment above the shop. It had been fully furnished, it just didn’t have a tennant. So she begged me to let Cay live there. I’ve never been able to deny my girl what she wants.

^Letting my eyes focus on the man in front of me, I pegged him with a stare as I got to the one thing I wasn’t sure I should say. But it was a major part of the story. It was something he needed to hear, and I wasn’t sure Cay would ever tell anyone the truth.^ She was an outcast in her family. She didn’t like they way they lived, so she left them. She ran away to New York the day she turned 18. She lived on the streets until she came to me and Cassi. She didn’t like being put into the mouse wheel that was the catholic lifestyle. She didn’t believe in it. So she rebelled, and she did it hard. She fell into BDSM when she was living on a boat. That lasted long enough for her to realize that she was serious about being a sub. She’s never trusted anyone enough to sub for them, though. So her coming home to you was a huge step for her. But she’s used to being thrown away. She’d never force her presence on you, either. She’d just wait for you to come to her.

I’m not going to pretend that your situation isn’t different, Del. The dynamic that you need to work out in your head is only going to keep her from you. And, even worse, it’s going to keep Myrick from you. Don’t let Cay come between the two of you. All three of you need to sit down and talk, though. But you need to decide what you want, Del. If it’s Cay, then go after her. If it’s Myrick, explain that to Cay. But don’t be ashamed if you want them both. There’s a way to make everything work. It takes communication, but it’ll work itself out. You just need to decide what you want to do.

Del: -I got the guts to plop down in the chair across from her and just listen to what she had to say. I had no idea who Cassi was but I could hear the way her voice changed when she talked about her, the way I wanted someone's voice to change when they talked about me. I didn't think that would ever happen though. Or that I could ever even deserve that. Maybe in my head it wasn't real. It wasn't the sort of thing that would last. It was all just something else to get disappointed over.

She told me a lot more of Cay’s story than I would have gotten from Cay herself and I knew it, but it made me feel like an even bigger asshole- I know what it's like to be the black sheep of a family, ok? I get it. My parents aren't religious unless you count money as a religion. But I was never what you might call their idea of son of the year. -shaking my head to clear it of the downward spiral I felt myself falling back down into as I travelled that line of thought- Can you just tell me one damn thing? You sit over there telling me it's ok to want both of them when nothing in my experience tells me that I'm worth even half of one of them. And you don't know me from a hole the fucking ground. I don't even know your damn name. How do you know I'm not going to be the worst thing that ever happened to either or both of them? -leaning forward so my elbows rested on my knees while I studied her expression and waited for her to basically slap me across the face-

Amelia: First of all, I’m Amelia Watson. I own Trinity. You know, the club where you met Cay? Secondly, how do you know you’re not going to be the best thing to happen to the two of them? You just assume that you’re going to epically fuck up and lose them both. Newsflash, Del. You’re losing them right now.

^I wanted to say more, but I knew better. I was already going to be in a handful of shit when Cassi found out I was here. And if Cay knew exactly what I was doing, I was dead. I just had to do something for them. And if making the man in front of me see the different side of what he was thinking, then good. I was doing some kind of work here.^ Cay has been miserable. She’s been walking around in a haze. She’s barely there at work. And it started after she met you and Myrick. She waited for you. And neither one of you came to prove to her that she was worth it. Granted, the situation with Myrick was more out of her control.

^I pegged Del with a raised eye before shaking my head. This was an epic shit storm of not good enough. Each of them thinking they didn’t deserve what the others had to offer. It was something I knew well. I had gone through it when I met Cass.^ I understand that you’re scared. And being in a poly relationship isn’t going to be easy. There’s going to be jealousy. There’s going to be issues from people that don’t understand. The worst thing you could do is not give yourself the opportunity to see where this takes you. Talk to Myrick about what happened. I’m pretty sure that Preppy Boy might be a little more lost than you are.

Del: -I couldn’t help but let out a half laugh when she called Ricky Preppy Boy. It sounded like something that could come out of my own mouth about him. Hell, I’d probably called him that more than a few times. Raking a hand through my hair as I took a breath, getting myself together before I replied.- Oh, I don’t know about him. Myrick is way more together than even he gives himself credit for, way more together than I’ll ever be. -nodding as I look back up into her eyes. I wasn’t wrong. I’d known him longer than I’d known anyone I wasn’t related to, and I liked him better than anyone I’d known ever. There was a reason he was the only person I’d ever lived with without causing World War III in my entire life. -

I know I need to talk to them both. I’ve known it since everything happened. I just wasn’t sure she ever wanted to see me again. And yeah, it’s my own damn fault I didn’t go look for her. I could have found her if I’d had the guts to, but don’t think it was selfish, ok? I mean… maybe it was. -shaking my head and letting my breath out in a frustrated sigh- God damn, I hope you know what the fuck I’m talking about. -giving my hair another yank out of exasperation with my own inability to express what I wanted to tell Amelia-

I know you sent Ricky to her. And I’m fucking glad you did. He’s better at this shit than I am, no matter what he likes to tell himself and everyone else. It’s me that’s the fuck up. But I’ll fucking go after he gets a chance to talk to her. Don’t be surprised if she slaps me right across the face though. I fucking won’t.

Amelia: ^I could only bite on my bottom lip as I thought about what he was saying. The damage with Cay was easier to fix. At least, in my opinion. Sure, there was going to be some kind of an issue there. But it wasn’t going to be something that no one could overcome. Either Cay gave him a chance, or she didn’t. The bigger concern, in my eyes, was Myrick.^ No, when Daddy Preppy Boy comes back, you talk to him. There’s more pressing matters than talking to Cay. She’s just a girl. And yes, that sort of contradicts the entire reason I’m here, but there are things that should never come between a friendship. Pussy is one of them. And trust me, I know how amazing pussy is. But you need to be honest with him. More so than with Cay.

^Looking down at my watch, I sighed softly. I had to get back to the club. I was already cutting it close to opening, and Cassi was going to freak out if she had to do it on her own. I knew it was something she could do, if she absolutely had to do it. I just didn’t like putting her in that position.^ Look, I have to get back to Trinity. Myrick first, Del. I’m fucking serious. Fix shit with him before you even think about coming to find Cay. And I’ll know if you have. If you haven’t, be expecting another visit from me. And it won’t go as well as this one did.

^I didn’t stop to give him a chance to respond before I grabbed my bag and walked out of the house. I needed to make the trip back to The Bronx. It wasn’t going to be too long of a trip, but it was enough of a hassle. With a few clicks on my phone, I was sliding into a car and directing them back towards the club. I wasn’t sure what the future was going to bring, but I had done something. And that was all I really needed to do.^

#IfWhatYouAreIsJustWhatYouOwn

[sinfulmyrick]

One And One And One Is Three (SL with @DayDividesNight and @LustByTheHour)

Cay: ^It was late for me. I realized that as soon as I sat up. It was barely 7, but after being up to run the shop, anything after 6 was late. Especially when there was a delivery. I was used to Cassidy and Amelia relying on me, though. I was the best person to get for them. I was right above the shop. But now was not the time to think about work. Last night hit me in vivid detail as I felt myself curl into a tiny ball.

Del Everly. A man that happily smacked my ass because I was leaning over the bar. He had made good on his promise. I still felt the sting on my skin from the night before. I also knew that if I were to look in the mirror, there would be at least a bruise or two. It wasn’t his fault, and I would never hold it against him. With skin as sensitive as mine was, there was nothing to be done except a massive amount of aftercare. It wasn’t something we ever got around to talking about, so I hadn’t gotten the chance to warn him. All I knew was that I couldn’t lay here in bed for the rest of the morning. I wasn’t entirely ready to leave, though. I’d just wander and see what happened.

Staring at the pile of clothes on the floor, I let out a groan. I was not ready to put on the leather dress from last night. I bit my bottom lip as I let my eyes linger on the chest of drawers in the corner of the room. I hesitated for all of a few minutes before carefully pulling the drawer open and pulling out a shirt to throw over my head. The dark gray hid any evidence that I wasn’t wearing underwear, and it hung well past mid thigh. A quick trip into the bathroom, I did a quick brush of my teeth using my finger before very cautiously walking down to the main floor.

I wasn’t sure what I had been expecting, but it wasn’t the golden retriever sitting in the entryway to the kitchen. Its’ head turned to the side as I walked up. Cautiously letting my fingers run along the soft fur, I peeked into this e kitchen. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but roommate was leaning against the counter with a tea kettle on the stove. My lips curved into a small smile as I spoke softly, alerting the other man to my presence.^ May I have a cup of tea, Daddy?

Myrick: -I hadn’t heard her walk into the kitchen, even Leo hadn’t alerted me from his place in the entry to the room. He just sat there quietly wagging his tail as the little red haired girl from last night wandered her way into the kitchen in nothing but one of Del’s shirts, and there she was calling me Daddy again. I had no idea what kind of expression my face must have on it, but the fact that she called me that before she ever even knew my name threw me for a loop. I wasn’t sure if Del had been running his mouth or if it was just some kind of random coincidence. I didn’t know how I felt about it all, but this little girl had sent me off kilter every time I’d seen her. And here she was asking for a cup of tea. I looked up at her, startled for a moment while I tried to stammer out a reply.- Umm… -face scrunched up while I processed what she was asking of me- Tea… -eyes widening in recognition when it finally registers- Of course. Come on and have a seat and I’ll make you a mug. -turning my back to her to walk over to the kettle and grab another tea bag, even though I had no idea what to call the girl standing in the doorway or why she’d decided to call me Daddy-

Cay: ^Walking into the kitchen, I didn’t hesitate before I slipped up onto the counter. The soft yelp that slid through my lips was telling. Big puppy came over and started sniffing at my legs as I tried to settle onto the counter without too much pain. Clearing my throat, I watched Roommate getting another cup ready for me to have. There wasn’t a lot I could say considering the first time he had seen me, Del had my skirt up around my waist. I could feel the blush settle into my cheeks as I thought about what Roommate thought about me. Clearing my throat, I looked down to the dog in front of me.^ Cay. I know this is incredibly awkward. But I’m Cay. And you’ve seen more of me than very few people in this town I would assume. So let’s try not to be too shocked. Okay, Daddy?

Myrick: -I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out from my throat as I poured the hot water and brought the cup of tea over to the counter where I kept the sugar as I glanced over at her.- So Cay, You like sugar in your tea? Lemon? Milk? I’m Myrick by the way. -noticing the uneasy way she sat down on the counter as though she were avoiding aggravating something on her butt. I was pretty sure what that something was, knowing Del as well as I did, but I didn’t want to be presumptuous and ask her outright. What those two got up to in the bedroom was none of my business, and she was right about it being mildly awkward. I didn’t mind that though- You’re not going to shock me, trust me. I’ve known Del for years. I’ve been his roommate for more than half of that time. I got over being shocked a long time ago.  Besides, we’ve all had our moments.

Cay: ^Tilting my head to the side, I watched as he pulled the sugar out. I nodded my head even though his back was to me. He was right about the whole shock thing. With my lifestyle, I didn’t have the time to be concerned with shock. It was either something you were open about, or it was a dirty little secret. Those I was close to knew about it. I had hid from everyone for 18 years, I was done hiding.^ Sugar and honey, if you have it. Myrick…

^I tested the name on my tongue, but it still didn’t sound right. It was part of my training, I guess. But I couldn’t just call him Sir. Del was Sir. I was a little weird in that sense. I couldn’t call two men by the same title. It wasn’t in me. Not if they were unattached. And I had figured Myrick wasn’t attached to someone since he hadn’t come out to the club the night before.^ I can’t call you Myrick. You’re Daddy. Del is Sir. And two Sirs in the same room can get confusing. So Daddy. Or Mr...? Or Master. But Master is a hard limit when there are no collars involved.

^I tried to adjust again, but couldn’t stop the soft cry that slid from my lips. I knew Del had been harsh on my skin the night before. I just hadn’t been expecting it to be this bad. I hadn’t had an experience like this since I had first started submitting. And the way my skin was was normally one of the first things I told a dom when we even discussed a scene.^ I’m sorry. I just… Hurt.

Myrick: -frowning as I stir in the honey and sugar she requested in her tea as I listened to her speak, noticing the wince every time she moved the wrong way until she finally just let out a soft whimper.- You can keep calling me Daddy… -glancing at her as I moved slowly closer, not wanting to intimidate her- I can see that you’re hurting. Mind if I take a look at it? I mean… -catching my words in my throat. I didn’t want to come off pushy, didn’t want to make her think I just wanted to get another look at her ass after last night. She came here with my best friend and II was really trying to be respectful of that. - I mean… I might be able to help. I’ve got a little experience with that kind of thing. If it’s what I think it is, that is.

-I was babbling, and I knew it. But I didn’t know where to stop running my mouth and where to just say what I was thinking. I was probably making this worse than it needed to be, biting my lip as I looked over at her- Sorry, I’m just trying to figure myself out here. I’m guessing he spanked you last night.  - raising an eyebrow-

Cay: ^I hissed as I slid off the counter before Myrick’s words clicked into my head. He’s got experience with it, and he was okay with me calling him Daddy. The words were out of my mouth before I had the chance to stop them.^ Holy fucking shit, you’re a Daddy Dom. ^My eyes were wide as I brought my hand up to my mouth. I wasn’t sure why I was so surprised by the idea. I knew they existed. I just hadn’t ever come across one. There was something about them that didn’t naturally come to me. I wasn’t the type of girl that wanted to just sit down with a bunch of coloring books and color. I didn’t necessarily like the idea of being in a childlike trance. There was still a lot about the Daddy Dom scene I didn’t understand just because I didn’t have the opportunity to ask questions.

I shook my head to clear it before turning back to the man in the kitchen. Nodding my head, I took a breath slowly^ If you wouldn’t mind? I mean, I have naturally sensitive skin. Typical redhead stuff. I burn in ten seconds if I’m in the sunlight. I tend to bruise easier. Things like that. And it’s normally one of the first things I talk about with a dom when I know there’s spanking involved. But things with Sir went fast, I didn’t have the chance to bring it up. But at the same time, Sir must not have ever had a redhead. Only an asshole wouldn’t know about how sensitive we can be.

Myrick: -laughing none too softly as she referred to Del as an asshole. She’d nailed me in one shot with the whole Daddy thing, and it sounded like she had him pinned, too. He could be an asshole when he was wrapped up in something. I knew that better than anyone. But when he stopped to take a minute to think about things, he had a heart of gold- Yeah, I’m a Daddy Dom, and Del… -taking in a deep breath as I look over the bruises across her legs and ass, slowly picking up the bottom of the oversized shirt she wore, careful to keep it from brushing across her skin. It wasn’t really that she’d been subjected to anything all that rough, but she was right about fair skin. You could bruise a redhead by touching them too hard. I frowned a little to myself as I moved away from her and moved to grab an ice pack and a bottle of ibuprofen from the cabinet next to the fridge while I resumed talking- He’s really a nice guy when he takes the time to remember to be. -smiling over at her as I filled the ice pack from the dispenser at the freezer and moved back over to her.- The ice will help the swelling go down and the ibuprofen will help the pain, and a little later you better talk one of us into giving you a butt massage. -laughing again as I moved in closer, offering her the pills-

Cay: ^There was little hesitation as I downed a couple of pills. The tea chaser wasn’t half bad, but I was not looking forward to dealing with the ice pack. If it was bad enough that Myrick thought I needed it, I knew it was bad. Moving out of the kitchen, I made my way towards the living room. I patted my leg gently with my hand, and the adorable mess of golden hair followed beside me. Settling on my stomach, I let myself face the kitchen as I hissed softly at the cold. I wasn’t sure how to go about this, but I knew the only way to open my eyes to the Daddy Dom lifestyle was to ask questions. And I had someone that was in front of me that could answer those questions.^ You and Sir are two ends of the spectrum. He’s all rough around the edges and a rough dom. But you’re the opposite. Your first concern is my ass. Making sure I take care of it and forcing me to get it massaged. Which, I will definitely take you up on that offer if you’re willing.

^I could only laugh to myself as I watched a hand disappear through the dark brown hair. I didn’t know if he was going to answer the questions I had, but I wanted them to be answered. I just knew I had to be respectful about it.^ How did you discover what you are? Not the dom part. But the Daddy part?

Myrick: -my hand lingered in my hair a little longer than was probably necessary, giving it a none too gentle tug when I heard her question. I didn’t mind answering them for her for some strange reason. It was just that I was always afraid of being judged for everything I did. It probably had something to do with the way I’d grown up. Mother was constantly worried about appearances, the way things came off to the rest of the town, to her friends, even to the staff. It was the reason being an artist instead of an attorney had gotten me cut off from the money my brother still got a steady flow of. Not that it mattered. I enjoyed being on my own sometimes, though I also liked being close enough to still be a part of things from time to time, like on Christmas when we could all just pretend to be happy for a day or two.

The fact that they reacted so badly to me deciding I wanted to draw for a living told me everything I needed to know about how they’d handle anything about me having any sort of a kink or fetish. It would have gone over about as well as me committing a murder in the front parlor. Maybe even less so. So it was only reasonable that I was terrified of scaring off Cay with the answers to her questions, no matter how badly I wanted to give them to her- I mean… -shrugging a little as I grabbed my cup of tea and moved over to scratch blunted nails through Leo’s fur- I guess nothing ever felt right, at least not until I met Del and he introduced me to some of his friends. I hadn’t even known any of this was even a thing… -daring a glance up from Leo to catch Cay’s eyes gauging her reaction- I went out with a few girls, tried out a few things, and it just kind of felt right when nothing else did.

Cay: ^I let my eyes linger on the man in front of me, and I could see it. The societal pressures that family brought. When you couldn’t live up to the expectations of those around you. I couldn’t stop the words from flying out of my mouth as I looked to the dog next to me^ I’m the youngest child from an Irish Catholic family. Like, strict Catholics. No premarital sex, no drinking unless it’s wine on Sundays when you’re taking communion. No tattoos. No piercings. You see me now. A year ago, I wasn’t this. I was the good little catholic girl. I was the girl that went by her full name even when people didn’t know how to pronounce it. I left them because I couldn’t be what they wanted me to be. I left Philly the day I turned eighteen. I haven’t looked back since then. I lived on the streets for a while. I lived on a boat for a few months. I was introduced to being a sub that way. It felt right. Like I belonged in this group of people. They understood me and my needs. They didn’t judge.

^I pursed my lips as I tried to think about what to say next. I knew what I needed to say. But he didn’t know me from Eve. I was just the girl that fucked his roommate. There was no real reason to be making conversation with me other than being polite.^ I don’t judge you, Daddy. I’m curious. I’ve never met a Daddy Dom. I’ve never met a little. I just want to understand this side of the lifestyle.

Myrick: -I listened to her story, the way it poured out of her like she couldn’t keep it inside. I knew that story all too well, and I knew she meant what she said when she was only curious- I know you’re not… So Philadelphia? I grew up in Connecticut. My family still lives there as a matter of fact. I came to college here in the city. It’s where I met Del. All those expectations and rules? Lets just say my mother makes the nuns look like hippies. -laughing softly as I looked over at her. She certainly didn’t look like someone who grew up the way she was describing, but judging a book by it’s cover wasn’t something I was in the habit of doing- It’s kind of hard to explain sometimes. I get all the judgement that goes along with being a dom, and then toss in the people who are a part of the whole lifestyle and still think somehow what I’m doing is weird. -shrugs and rests my tea cup on the countertop- It’s not about being attracted to someone younger than me, not about someone being a child for me. Just about someone needing me that much. I like the idea of taking care of someone. I don’t know a lot of littles myself, you know? They’re pretty rare, and even when they know that’s a part of themselves, they don’t let it show. I know I’m rambling here. Feel free to tell me to be quiet any time.

Cay: ^Nods as I look down at my hands. There was so much to the story that I didn’t tell. I hadn’t ever said a word about it to anyone. But that was a topic for another time. Clearing my throat, I tried to put the past back where it belonged.^ I’d never tell you to be quiet. I like that you’re willing to talk to me about it. You could just tell me no. You could have blown me off. But you’re being real with me. It’s different. When doms find out I’m barely 19, they think I’m in it to find a Daddy. There haven’t been many doms that are willing to sit down with me and talk about things that interest them.

^Shaking my head slightly, I gently slide the ice pack from my ass to the top of my thighs. I knew that this was just the first step in making sure that everything was healing. It was all a step in aftercare.^ I don’t know if I’m going to explain this right. But then again, I know nothing about anything. I didn’t get into this lifestyle just to find someone who would treat me like a child. Do I want to be protected? Yes. Absolutely. I love the idea of having someone worry about me, someone who is willing to take care of me no matter what. Very much the way you are doing already. But in the same vein, I need someone who isn’t going to treat me like glass. It’s hard to find anyone who understands that. With my age and complexion? Everyone thinks they know what the best thing for me is. And most doms think I need a Daddy. I’ve never been sold on the idea. I’ve never met one that understands my needs and wants. I’ve never had someone whose needs and wants match my own. Does that make sense? I feel like I’m not making sense.

Myrick: -laughing softly as I shake my head- No, it makes perfect sense. A lot of Doms like to think they know exactly what everyone needs. Most of the time, they don’t even know what they need, at least half the time. But you’re barely 19… -shooting her a playful wink as I stroke along Leo’s back- I mean you’ve got plenty of time to live your life and find what you didn’t even know you were looking for. That’s usually how it works out anyway. Or the thing you think you need becomes exactly the last thing you really ought to want. -trying to look up at her with a reassuring smile- Now it’s my turn not to make any sense. I’m full of crap, just a heads up. -I noticed the cup in her hand was empty. Reaching out to take it gently from her hand before I backed away a little- I’ll get you some more tea, ok? -not waiting for an answer as I turn and head back over to the stove where the kettle sat waiting-

Cay: ^Tilting my head to the side as Myrick walks away, I close my eyes. Something must have happened to make him think that way. The last thing I wanted was to step on his toes. I also was not a fan of the look on his face. It was a little bit broken. Moving to stand, I follow him into the kitchen to resume my perch from earlier. My eyes were focused on the man at the stove. It was like the only thing he wanted to be focusing on was the tea. Almost as if he knew that if he even tried to pay more attention to me, he was going to lose a battle in his mind. Clearing my throat, I spoke in the softest voice I had used in my life. I wasn’t sure where this was going to go, or what was happening with me in general, but I was making more moves.^ Daddy? Come here?

^As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I felt his eyes snap to mine. There was something in his stare that told me he longed for this. To not just be called Daddy, but to take care of someone. It was why he was so quick to take care of me. As he moved to stand in front of me, I let my fingers move into the hair at the nape of his neck. It was softer than I had been expecting, but I slowly pulled him closer to me. I felt my eyes drift from his dark brown eyes to his lips. It wasn’t a question. I wasn’t asking for permission. My lips were against his in an instant. But it wasn’t the quick and hard kisses that I shared with Del. This was slow and soft. Enough to make me burn with something I wasn’t used to wanting. I let out a tiny moan as I let my legs slide apart, making room for Myrick to settle between them.^

Myrick: -I was glad I’d placed the cup of tea on the counter when she’d called me over, because I would have dropped it the instant her fingers hit the skin at the back of my neck and by the time her lips found mine I wouldn’t have even remembered that the tea existed. I had no idea what I was doing, but my entire body seemed to have a mind of it’s own. My hands slipping around her waist and pulling her closer to me along the edge of the kitchen counter while my tongue parted her lips just enough to get the slightest taste of her mouth.

There was some little voice in the back of my head that told me to stop, that told me this was a terrible idea and that Del was going to come down the stairs and kick me out on the spot. I was torn between two completely irrational halves of my brain, one that wanted to claim every inch of this girl wrapped around me on the kitchen counter, and the other that always planned for the worst thing that could happen. It was a little dizzying to be honest, though it was the part of me that wanted to just give in and have her that won in the end. My fingers tightening their grip on her thighs, though I was careful not to hurt the already purpling marks on her skin-

Cay: ^I felt it. The moment he gave into me. The moment he let himself have what he wanted. I could feel the way he tightened his grip on my hips. It was careful, but deliberate. He didn’t want to bruise me, but he was holding on to dear life. I let my hands move out of Myrick’s hair and down his chest. Slipping my hands under the fabric of his shirt, I pushed it up his chest, stopping our kiss just long enough to get it off of him. My lips were immediately on neck as I moved against him.^ Please, Daddy?

Myrick: -Cay claimed that she hadn’t known any littles, and didn’t know much about the section of the lifestyle that chose to live, but the way she moved in closer, whispering Daddy against my throat at the same time her hips ground into mine, hand under my shirt was like she knew exactly what she was doing to me. It was enough to short circuit any of my doubts and have my fingers knotting into the t-shirt that hung loose around her hips, yanking it up over her body and tossing it to the floor before I crashed my body back into hers. Even then the kiss never overheated, never lost that careful balance between passion and me wanting to avoid hurting her, though my hands wandered across her body in a slow trail, fingertips memorizing every inch of her body as it pulled her chest against mine.-

Cay: ^I could only pull Myrick closer as soon as my shirt was gone. There was a lot I needed to figure out, but I was too far gone to stop myself from taking whatever this man gave me. I couldn’t stop the soft needy whimper that slid through my lips as his hands travelled along my body. It was as if he was memorizing every inch of me. Like he wasn’t sure he was ever going to touch me again. And the reality of the situation crashed down around me. I might never see him again. He could absolutely take what he wanted from me and be done with me.

That was something I couldn’t think about. I didn’t need to think about it. That was going to be something I would have to come to terms with later in the morning. It wasn’t something I needed to remember. Right now, I needed the man in front of me. I needed him to make me forget everything except him. My hands slipped down to the waist of his sleep pants. Letting my fingers dip inside of them, I cautiously pushed at the fabric. I didn’t want him to do anything he didn’t want to do, and this was the only way I could give him an out.^

Myrick: -The warmth of her fingers slipping across the skin at the base of my stomach caused me to pull in a deep breath, body tensing for just a moment before I went for it. There wasn’t much I was going to be able to do to take myself off the course I’d been set on. I was lost, moving into her touch while my hands knotted back into the mass of ginger hair that fell down her pale back, skin like living porcelain beneath my fingers. I knew it was probably wrong, and I knew that there was no telling how this was going to go after all was said and done, but the rational part of my mind that cared about any of that was silenced by the flames that licked at my consciousness with every brush of her fingers over my skin.

I freed up one hand just long enough to tug my sleep pants down into a puddle on the floor next to the shirt she’d walked into the room wearing and fit myself between her thighs, right where it felt like I belonged.-

Cay: ^I felt my breath leave in a rush as Myrick slowly pushed into me. This wasn’t about claiming. It was about needing. A needing so bad that it needed to be cherished. It wasn’t a feeling I was used to. Even when I had been with other doms, it wasn’t like this. It wasn’t about him getting what he wanted. It was about making me feel everything. The feeling of being protected, wanted, and needed was almost enough to drive me insane normally. But being forced to feel it while connected, it was something completely different. It woke a different need in me. It made me realize that my life was about to become insanely complicated.

My lips were all over Daddy’s neck and jaw as I tried to grab at whatever skin was available. My legs were wrapped around his waist as I tried to pull him deeper, desperate for anything he was willing to give me. My entire body was on fire as I let myself start to give into the feeling of being wanted. There were a million thoughts swimming in my mind, but as Daddy forced my lips back to his, I was lost in the moment. I was exactly where I needed to be.^

Myrick: -It was way too easy to get a more than little lost in Cay, the way her body fit perfectly around mine, skin against mine in a wild fire of arms and legs. It was heated and slow at the same time. I knew a lot of guys who would have pinned her to the counter and done whatever they wanted with her. She probably would have enjoyed it too, but there was something about her that made me want to wrap her up in my embrace and keep her against my chest until I didn't even know when. My hands tangled in her hair and kept my lips against hers in a long kiss, one I never wanted to break. I needed to be a part of her, more than I'd needed it in a long time, and Cay made it feel easy. My voice was deep with the lust that roared through my system as I pressed myself inside her as deep as I could manage- Cay.. Baby… Love… -my breath heavy against her lips as I pulled her in, needing her impossibly closer-

Cay: ^I could only whimper softly as I heard my name fall from Daddy’s lips. Then immediately followed by Baby Love. I was absolutely lost to the man in front of me. I wasn’t sure what the fuck was going on, but I knew this was where I belonged. This house was where I needed to stay. I could feel the tears pooling as I let go of any semblance of right and wrong. In under twelve hours, I felt like I had found something worth fighting for. Something worth keeping. And even trying to make it a reality was something I was going to struggle with. Convincing both Daddy and Sir I couldn’t do this without both of them was going to be a challenge. But this was something I needed. I just needed to figure out how to put it into words.^ Daddy… I need you. Please!

Del: -I’d woken up with the bright morning sunlight pouring through the windows and an empty bed. I hadn’t known when Cay got out of the jumble of blankets that barely covered me from the waist down but she had. Her clothes were still draped across various pieces of furniture in the room and those amazing shoes she’d worn out of the club still lay sitting slightly askew on the floor next to the bed. She was still here. That quieted the sudden surge of nerves that had hit when she was gone. My first thought was that she’d slipped out without even leaving me her number, and there was no way I was going to be good with not being able to get in contact with her again.

Last night had been something else… Something I wasn’t sure I was looking for, but something all the same. I wasn’t sure what it was or maybe I was lying to myself about what it probably was. Either way, I was glad she was clearly still in the house, probably down in the kitchen being bored to death by Myrick while he talked about his favorite kind of tea and the best way to brush a golden retriever to keep him from shedding all over the furniture. Stretching for a long moment, letting my muscles tense and relax as they stirred from hours of disuse before I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and sat up, rubbing my hands over my temples as my eyes adjusted to the morning light.

I figured I’d better head down there and save her from whatever was going on downstairs in case she needed me to extricate her from some awkward situation with my housemate. Snagging a pair of boxers in one hand and a wife beater with the other, I pulled on the garments slowly and groaned as I moved towards the door, still waking up after an eventful night.

I could hear the sounds coming from downstairs as soon as my feet hit the first step and I froze, leaning against the wall. I knew exactly what was going on at the bottom of those stairs, and from the way the sounds echoed off the walls it was going on in the kitchen. I wasn’t sure whether to walk the rest of the way down there and just get an eyeful of what was going on or walk back into my bedroom. She clearly didn’t need saving from whatever Myrick was doing to her down there, even if she was screaming. I didn’t know if I wanted to see it or not. Usually, if it had been anyone else down there, I would have walked into the kitchen and made a cup of coffee whether they were banging on top of the coffee pot or not, but this one hit me in a weird spot for a minute.

In the end after arguing with myself for a few minutes, I decided to walk down and see what was going on for myself. Myrick was my best friend, and Cay was… Well, I didn’t know exactly what Cay was, but I did know that even after only twelve hours she was something important. I was processing things slowly when I hit the bottom step and then the first floor, keeping my footsteps quiet because I knew exactly how Myrick was going to react when he saw me, and I really didn’t want to fuck up whatever he had going no matter what weird kinda things hit me in the moment before I decided to walk down those stairs.

Thankfully, his back was to me when I leaned against the frame of the opening to the kitchen from the hallway and ran a hand through my raucous hair to try and slightly straighten it. I had to admit, the sight of those two on the kitchen counter was pretty fucking hot. I didn’t think I’d even seen him like that. Fuck, I knew I hadn’t, not in all the time we’d lived together. The bastard didn’t even like walking out of the bathroom in a towel. He’d come out wrapped up in a bathrobe or fully dressed with his hair still dripping wet down the t-shirt he pulled on. I had no idea what the hell she’d done to get him like this, but she’d worked some kind of god damned miracle in the time since she’d climbed out of my bed.

I couldn’t tear my eyes off the two of them, and I wasn’t certain I wanted to. Something about the whole thing was kind of intoxicating. I knew Cay saw me; her eyes had locked with mine a few second after I’d walked off the bottom stair. I could see the unspoken question written across her face. I answered it with a silent nod, making myself comfortable because I didn’t intend to go anywhere. I was watching this one out until its end.

My hand snaking its way down into my boxers had a mind of its own, but I wasn’t of any kind of mind to stop it, fingers wrapping around the base of my shaft to work along the length. I let my eyes travel across the expanse of Myrick’s back, muscles rippling as he worked himself deep inside the girl splayed across the counter. Pulling in a deep breath, though I fought to keep it quiet, I let myself go, using the wall for support as I let myself get lost in the picture the two of them made in front of me. All the things that had washed through my thoughts about Cay sort of melted and became melded with the feelings I’d always had for Myrick. He was my best friend, and there was no denying he was fucking easy to look at, but there was more there, and I’d always known it, even if he hadn’t. There was a reason I let him move into my place without batting an eyelash. I wouldn’t have done that for just anyone, but I also knew how he would react to something like that. He’d had a hard enough time coming to terms with the whole Daddy Dom thing back in the day. He repressed that down to the point where it nearly made him sick all because of the way he’d grown up. Anything straying over the line of propriety, well… he wouldn’t take that well at all, and this was straying pretty damned far over the line. At the moment, I didn’t give much of a fuck, though. This was fucking beautiful, and I wasn’t going to let propriety stop me from seeing every minute of it.-

Myrick:  -my fingers tightened their grip on Cay’s thigh, moving my lips from hers just long enough to bury my face in her neck, working them in a line of kisses along the pale skin that curved perfectly like porcelain doll into her shoulder. Every kiss left a soft pink blush behind on skin so thin and white I could see the thin veins pulsing beneath it with every beat of her heart. I hadn’t felt like this in a long time, even if deep down I knew that maybe it was a little wrong. At the moment, I just couldn’t find it in me to care when every time I pressed deep inside her it felt like home. Her body against mine drove me absolutely crazy, and the rest of the world seemed to disappear, at least for me in that moment. The words she whispered against my skin sent me surging forward into her at the same moment I pulled her fully down against my hips with a low groan, my words deep and rumbling against her ear- You going to cum for me, Little Girl? -mind going straight to what I knew I needed just as much as she did, even if she said she wasn’t a Little. In that moment, she was my Little and I needed her just as much as she needed me-

Cay: ^I couldn’t pretend to be shocked as I watched Sir’s hand pump along his length. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was watching me, or if it was a combination of me and Daddy. And in that moment, I didn’t care. All I could feel was the man I was wrapped around. Of course, I wanted to please Sir. But this was about Daddy. I couldn’t deny it though, knowing Sir was watching was even more of a turn on.

I didn’t say a word as he stood there. I didn’t want to burst the bubble I was in with Daddy. So when he asked if I was going to cum for him, I let out a little whimper. I had never thought of myself as a Little Girl, but that was all before Daddy. The words from his lips were fucking perfect. They spurred me on in a way I couldn’t even begin to understand. I wasn’t entirely sure how much longer I could keep myself in control, but my words with a breathy groan as I kept my eyes on Sir^ Yes, Daddy. Please make me cum.

Myrick: -My eyes closed, and I could feel them almost roll back into my head. I held myself back long enough to give her a chance to fall apart. I craved that more than anything in the moment, this girl wrapped up in my arms. I needed every part of her, and I needed her to let go and give me that part of her first and foremost. My movements growing hungrier as my hands tighten their grip without concern as to whether I’ll leave the marks of my fingers on her fair skin.  I was too far gone at that part to even notice how roughly my hands gripped her body as I pulled her firmly against my body. Lips brushing across her ear with a hungry whisper- Let me have it, Baby Love. Let Daddy feel you cum. -every word punctuated with a forward thrust of my hips into her body, my hand slipping between us to tease across the hard little nub of her clit, savoring every moan that the motion drug from her lips, and every move that had her walls clenching around my length-

Del: -I could hear every word Myrick whispered into her ear. I was that close, even though he had no idea I was even in the room. I was lost, gone, staring at the two of them like they were my own personal show. But there was far more to it than that. I’d been in a situation like this before. Fuck knows, there wasn’t much I hadn’t done before. Threesomes, Foursomes, moresomes, it didn’t fucking matter to me any other time. It was just an experience, another one to add to the pile of things I’d lived through. That was what my life was all about right? What could I do next? What was the most extreme thing I could get myself into? How could I get myself into trouble or out of it without getting caught up in anything for more than long enough to have a good time.

But this, there was something different about this, and I knew it from the minute I heard the two of them from the top of the stairs. I didn’t know how to reconcile half the things I was feeling, but it also didn’t matter to me in the moment. I pushed it out of my head to deal with it later, compartmentalizing the things that roared through my head to push them out of the way of what I really knew I wanted. The two of them right there, tangled around each other, that was the thing that consumed my thoughts at the moment. If it had been anyone but Myrick, I would have already walked over and joined in, but that wasn’t something I was going to let myself do either. This was all I dared to have at the moment, and it was enough for now. I knew I wasn’t going to last much longer. In fact, I was pretty sure I was a goner when I saw the way her legs shuddered around his waist and her eyes locked with mine over his shoulder-

Cay: ^I saw the way Sir was barely holding on. I remembered the look in his eyes as he got closer to his release. It was something I craved the night before. And I craved it now in a different way. There was something about knowing he was watching me with Daddy. Maybe it was the exhibitionist in me. But I knew I only cared about Daddy getting his release. I couldn’t stop the trembling as I came closer to my own orgasm. The gentle brush of fingers over my clit was what did it.

I couldn’t stop the scream that slipped from my lips as I started to cum. Throwing my head back against the counter, I couldn’t stop my hands shaking as I gripped the cabinets above me. My voice was loud as I felt my eyes clench shut^ Daddy! I need you to cum! Please! And Sir! Oh, fuck! Please!

Myrick: -I couldn’t stop crying out when her body arched back, walls spasming around my shaft in time with her screams. It was all too much, and I fell apart at the same moment she did, her screams echoing off the tiled kitchen walls while she cried out Daddy. That was the instant I was done for, holding her body still as I slammed her hard into the kitchen counter, spilling my release deep inside her. I was catching my breath by the time I realized the rest of what she’d been screaming. Sir… Which was what she’d spent the entire morning calling Del. Fuck… Del. I was cursing internally at myself, knowing I’d been doing god knows what with the girl Del brought home last night on Del’s kitchen counter, and he was probably standing right behind me. Taking a deep breath as I pulled away from Cay in one long slow moment, chancing to glance over my shoulder- Morning, Del…

Del: -I was right, the second she screamed out Daddy followed by Sir, Myrick hit his climax and so did I in the same moment. His groans echoing around the room as I let go, body tensing while the wall held me up. I only had a minute to enjoy it though when Myrick turned around, trying to look nonchalant that he was completely naked in my kitchen with a girl wrapped around his waist. It was almost laughable and totally out of character for him. I was more than a little proud he’d stepped out of his shell long enough to do something crazy, though I was certain Cay had something to do with that.

It hit me hard in that instant, everything I’d been boxing up since I couldn’t even say when. The two of them there in front of me like everything I wanted, but everything that scared the ever loving shit out of me too. I didn’t know what to do. I could turn around and walk away. I could laugh it all off like it was no big deal, go back to being the me that everyone expected that cared about nothing. Or I could man up and admit what I was feeling no matter how much that terrified me.

In the end, I was brave, but not quite brave enough. All I could muster up the courage to do was walk across the kitchen without a single word, threading my hands into Myrick’s hair in a single move to slam my lips into his. I didn’t know what the kiss was about, but I needed it more than I needed air in that moment, letting it go on until my chest was burning from lack of oxygen, my tongue pushing between his lips with a low groan as my grip on his hair tightened.

I don’t know what I expected out of him, whether he was going to push me away and punch me in the jaw or give in and give me what I wanted. Maybe he was waiting until I let him go to shove me away, to yell at me, to something. But I wasn’t going to give him the chance. Turning on heel, I walked out of the kitchen and back up the stairs straight into my bedroom and on to the shower. I was going to think about this later, for right now, I needed not to think about anything.-

#OneAndOneAndOneIsThree