sing-you-fools - Tumblr blog

[sing-you-fools]

how do you even know who your mutuals are? like sometimes i'll follow someone and notice them follow me back, or get a notification that someone followed me and go follow them back, and be lucky enough to remember that happened. and there are the small handful that like most everything i post so i'm reminded often. but other than that i can only tell if i happen to see a notification that they interacted with something i posted. i see those polls like "is prev a mutual?" and i'm just like ??? how tf should i know?

It’s always so weird when people talk about having a bunch of mutuals bc I have 14 mutuals. 4 of them are irls. And one of these 4 irls is my brother.

Maybe it’s just because I don’t follow a lot of people .

[sing-you-fools]

Given the number of social media posts I've seej that start off like: ***TRIGGER WARNING!!*** and then just dive straight into the body of the post (y'know, with the triggers that they haven't actually warned us about), this is... not surprising at all, actually, yeah.

“dead dove” is not a warning. it has never been a warning. if you use “dead dove” as a trigger warning you are missing the entire point. the origin of it is that if you see a bag labeled “dead dove” and open it, you should expect to see a dead dove. that’s not how so many of you assholes use it. you expect me to know whatever secret code you came up with and then have the audacity to get upset with me for stumbling across something i didn’t want to see?

putting “dead dove” and nothing else on something is like putting “trigger warning” and not elaborating. you stupid dumb fucks.

[sing-you-fools]

will the guy who won't eat my kid still kill me? asking for me. don't want my kid eaten but i do want to die y'know? like. my tummy really hurts. so it's a tough choice

[sing-you-fools]

SPIFF? TAY'LOR SPIFF? AS IN--

in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years

[sing-you-fools]

Every time I hear a man complain about how his wife or girlfriend "doesn't put out anymore" I want to scream (naturally) and also clobber him over the head with a baseball bat on which is printed: Well, do you ever let her touch you non-sexually?

I don't have any idea how universal this is, but every relationship I've ever had with a cis man has had the exact same issue: Any physical contact is treated as initiation of sex. Well - no, that's an exaggeration. Any affectionate or flirtatious contact that goes beyond hand holding or a quick hug, maybe a peck, though - that has either been met with an extreme escalation - that is, an "oh you want sex! I'll grab your boob and start grinding on you!" sort of response, or a flat-out rejection - a "we don't have time for sex right now" or "I'm not in the mood right now" sort of thing.

Your partner is not coming up behind you at the table and hugging you and giving you some flirty neck kisses because they want you to throw them down and take them right here right now. They are not kissing you a little longer than usual because they want you to rip their clothes off. They are not playfully smacking your butt because they want you to turn around and shove your hand in their pants. They are not doing any of these things in an attempt to initiate sex. They are doing them because they like you.

Could these things lead to sex? Yeah, sometimes! But that's not the point of them. Affection is the point. Flirting is the point. Maintaining a relationship that feels like something other than "roommates who fuck occasionally" is the point.

But if your immediate response is to either escalate things so far beyond what they wanted to do in that moment or completely shut them down, you have made it unsafe for them to show you affection, and if you then have the gall to complain that they don't initiate sex more often, I wish you kidney legos.*

Instead of complaining that you're not getting laid, try communicating with your partner. Work on being affectionate without any ulterior motive. Learn to make out for a minute without expecting anything more. Touch your partner flirtatiously because you like them, not because you want to put your dick in them. Foster an affectionate atmosphere within your relationship and the sex will happen naturally! Spontaneously! And it will be good!

If you're not getting any from your partner, stop trying so hard to get some. Try appreciating and loving them instead and see if anything changes.

*So much worse than kidney stones

This post was made by a faggot! 🏳️‍⚧️

[sing-you-fools]

Whoever invented "open in app" links that redirect you to the app store instead of actually opening the app even when you already have the app installed on your phone should be involuntarily turned into a beanbag chair

[sing-you-fools]

the House MD fandom on here is so funny to me because wow yeah House and Wilson were super fuckin gay weren't they? you'd think i would have picked up on that watching every episode when it aired and then reruns on USA all the time but noooo see i hated Wilson. i found him so fuckin annoying i paid as little attention to him as i possibly could. i watched the show and listened to the words he said so the show would make sense but other than that i did not think about him at all.

of all the characters on that show to completely fuckin despise. but you know what. i was right

[sing-you-fools]

i wish i could tell my self from a year and a half ago how much better it's gonna get

[sing-you-fools]

this happens to me too. when i gotta use the self-checkout

Came Back Wrong from the gocey store

[sing-you-fools]

FIFTY THOU--hold on a sec I gotta find someone

YOU. @glowingvenus. You did this to me. I had been on this godforsaken site for two weeks when I made this post. I had no idea. No idea what you were dooming me to. AND ON FREDDIE MERCURY'S BIRTHDAY NO LESS.

me: this is a background character who's in one scene, has two lines, and is completely irrelevant to the rest of the story. i am going to stop obsessing over what to name him and use the random name generator on behindthename.com. i am going to accept the first thing it gives me and move the fuck on.

behindthename.com:

[sing-you-fools]

if you're lucky you also get to download a different new app so you can pay for parking when you get to the event!

sorry for being such a boomer but i can't stand having to download a different app for every event i want to go to just to access my fucking tickets. i should be able to call a number and order them over the phone without the internet and then go to a nice old man at a booth on the day of the show and pick up my little paper tickets.

[sing-you-fools]

hell yeah peacock jeans!

step one of Peacock Pants is, it turns out, Weird Egg Pants

[sing-you-fools]

I forgot wedding showers are generally Girls Only events and RSVPed yes to one. Now I am struggling to explain to my aunt that she can say "it's a no cis men event!" all she wants but if a single person says "it's just us girls here" or something similar I will drive off a bridge on the way home and is it really worth that risk? Please uninvite me or I will have to get covid that day

[sing-you-fools]

not beating the weird gamete allegations

step one of Peacock Pants is, it turns out, Weird Egg Pants

[sing-you-fools]

he just sits there like this

[sing-you-fools]

I ask because I'm changing my name for the second time, and the cis people I tell seem so thrown off by it - not upset, just like it's a completely unexpected thing. I think it's probably common (especially (???) for those of us who initially go with a shortened form of our deadname), and I want to tell them that, but it'd be nice to have some sort of evidence, even if it's just a tumblr poll.

Please note that I'm NOT specifically asking about legal name changes, just what you go by! And feel free to add whatever details you'd like in the notes.

reblog for bigger sample size!

[sing-you-fools]

Please note that I'm NOT specifically asking about legal name changes, just what you go by! And feel free to add whatever details you'd like in the notes.

reblog for bigger sample size!