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if i lay here

if i just lay here

do u think this fanfic will write itself

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Oh dear lord this gets me every time 🥵🥰

Imagine him saying this to you..

[siren-queen-imagines]

Mental Status Examination: Jason Kolchek

Some of you had asked about my assignment for my foundations of individual counseling and here it is! Something to hold over until I write something else for y'all!

Some of Jason's backstory is fictionalized but there's plenty from the game. This is just examination findings so there is no pairing (which would be platonic as it's illegal for counselors to engage in romantic/sexual relationships with clients).

This takes place about a year after the game and after the session is already done.

SPOILER WARNING!

Masterlist

Tag: @thedreamingfish99

Patient Summary: Jason Kolchek is a 31 year old first lieutenant in the marines, having come home from deployment in Iraq after 18 months. He states that he was referred to the Veterans Agency by his best friend, Sergeant Nick Kay, a client of another counselor. He suffers from extreme guilt over a situation at a checkpoint that has been targeted by suicide bombers where he made an order to shoot a potential offender, only to find that the offender was a civilian carrying groceries and hadn’t heard the order for them to stop as she was wearing headphones. He also reports nightmares, panic attacks and a fear of the dark (due to a separate incident during a recon mission, of which he is reluctant to discuss at this time). First impression is that First Lieutenant Kolchek may suffer from PTSD. Co-morbidity to be determined upon final diagnosis.

Appearance: First Lieutenant Kolchek appeared to look tired, displayed by the bags and dark circles under his eyes. Despite that, he looks very well put together; clean and presentable in his casual wear, despite his hair being slightly disheveled. His well kept look may be due to his military background or may still be in the mindset as he’s been home for a little less than a year.

Behavior: Jason appeared to be anxious, his leg bouncing up and down and was fidgety. When discussing the checkpoint, he had a rough time maintaining eye contact and displayed detachment from his words. When asked about his fear of the dark, Jason reacted with irritability. After this discussion, he became guarded but cooperative with any information regarding the checkpoint.

Orientation: Jason displayed awareness of the time, date, where he is and why he is here. He is alert and displays motivation to start treatment.

Speech and Language: First Lieutenant Kolchek speaks with a thick southern accent and it seems it gets thicker when he gets more anxious or something gets harder to talk about. He speaks fast but seems to catch himself and slows to a more normal speed. His volume is of a normal level but did get a bit louder when he portrayed his irritability/anger. Answers clearly but as minimally as he can despite seemingly wanting to elaborate as he’s cut himself off.

Mood and Affect: Jason has expressed exhaustion as he hasn’t slept very well since everything happened. He’s also reported bouts of anger due to his lack of sleep. He’s anxious and hypervigilant as he was easily startled at a knock on the door. Despite all of this, Jason seems to be controlled in his emotions a lot of the time.

Thought Process: Showed a mixture of an impoverished (slow thinking) and rapid thought process. Could be due to lack of sleep. He also wants to get better as before he left Iraq, he knew he was going to require treatment, so he has a goal to start treatment and is committed to the work. He just seems a little unsure.

Approach: Jason described his childhood as coming from a place where he experienced violence and drug use up until he joined the Marines. His mother was absent so it was just his father that raised him and his three brothers. He describes him as a “violent alcoholic” and grew up in an environment where violence was normal. He expressed that his father taught him that emotions were for women which has delayed his search for treatment for 8 months. He credits Sergeant Kay for pushing him to work through that mindset. He participated in drug use until after the events of the September 11th attacks where he was “stoned out of my damn skull” that he didn’t learn about the events until a week later.

Defining Treatments: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): “focuses on the relationship among thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and notes how changes in any one domain can improve functioning in the other domains” (American Psychological Association, n.d.). Overall, it helps a person to identify negative behaviors and thinking patterns and prevent them from reacting and behaving in a negative manner and find a balance which leads to the opposite behaviors and reactions. Techniques learned here could help reduce symptoms of PTSD and improve overall functioning. It could help to manage stress related to PTSD. Can also be combined with Trauma-Focused CBT.

Medications: can help improve symptoms of PTSD. Can be given antidepressants to help with depression and anxiety; anti-anxiety medications can help with severe symptoms of anxiety but can only be taken over a short amount of time as they can be abused; prazosin can help with nightmares.

Final Thoughts:

While First Lieutenant Kolchek has disclosed previous drug abuse, I believe he could benefit from prazosin on a ‘as needed’ basis for his nightmares. Should he require anti-anxiety medication, it will happen over a short amount of time to prevent any abuse. CBT, whether trauma-focused to help with Iraq and his childhood, will be beneficial for Jason as it will help him to alter his way of dealing and thinking about his trauma. It can help to alleviate his symptoms of PTSD which will also help him not need medication long term. I will not be prescribing antidepressants at this time. Sleeping pills will not be prescribed at all due to Jason’s background in drug use and the possibility of abuse of the pills.

It’s a social factor and even Jason’s cultural factors play into the lack of therapy. While Jason is American, America has a stigma towards mental health and therapy. Socially, it is similar and it wasn't helpful to First Lieutenant Kolchek that his father had taught and raised him to believe that “feelings were a woman’s thing”. Both socially and culturally, Jason is supposed to be masculine and he even is viewed that way due to his service in the Marines, but he has seen and dealt with things that were difficult and harmful to his psychological wellbeing. May be a point to help him view this factor differently throughout his treatment should he require treatment later in life; which could help him to not delay seeking help.

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YO! So for my foundations for Individual Counseling class, my final discussion board was about a fictional character (of any kind, like one already out there or just made up from scratch) and we had to write a mental status examination. Using knowledge from the game and some slightly made up, I did mine about Jason.

We had to write a potential diagnosis and suggest treatments for them. I also wrote how I thought Jason would react in his first session of counseling should he have seeked it out. My classmates loved it and thought he was a real person lol.

Maybe I’ll post it here, who knows! I got a 100% on it!! Great way to start the day, and I wanted to share with my fellow Jason lovers! ❤️

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Now Idk what anon was on about but personally I love your Jason fics??

Keep writing them for as long as you enjoy <3

You know, I don’t either? Personally I’ve begun to think it’s someone who might be upset at the fact that I’m currently only writing Jason fics (because he’s been a source of inspiration) and not for the other fandoms I’ve written for.

Either way, I won’t stop writing. I may be taking longer to write but Jason is still a muse after having spent a year in writers block before House of Ashes.

Thank you, I’m so happy you love them! It means so much to me to have your support ❤️❤️

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i don’t have a request bc no thoughts head empty but ??? i literally love your writing so much. you capture jason’s character really well and your writing style is beautiful. i’ve even saved a few of your fics as favorites to go back and reread on rainy days. so that anon can shove it lol. keep on keeping on 💛

Empty head here too lol. Might have to consult a friend or listen for inspiration in music or something! Although, that mean anon have me a small morsel of an idea that I am currently trying to make a complete idea lol

Omg thank you so much 🥺 I truly appreciate your support and I’m so happy that you love the stories I wrote! That’s why I try to make them long so you have more to enjoy.

The anon caught me on a day where I needed a little affirmation that you guys like what I put out (when I can). My reply was an effort to prove a point to the anon that you all like what I bring to the Jason fic lovers portion of tumblr.

I promise you that I won’t stop writing especially when characters like Jason Kolchek exist and bring about random bouts of inspiration.

Thanks for the words of encouragement and support, you and everyone who replied to the most mean the world to me. ❤️❤️

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No one wants you’re writing lol. The jason fandom is fine without you 🤣

Okay.

*your= possessive-used when referring to a person or person’s thing like writing.

*you’re= you are.

I like contributing to Jason’s section of the House of Ashes fandom and it seems like people appreciate it as well but you seem like you just wanna be a jerk. But also…If you’re gonna be mean, at least come at me correct 💋

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I will have a little bit of time this upcoming week so I wanna write!

I have a week between classes and I’m feeling some Jason x reader stuffs but cannot conjure a solid idea?

Temporarily headcanon and fic requests only for our favorite First Lieutenant are open! If I can write it, I will!

Send some in if you want to see your idea written in my style! 🖤

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This tweet totally describes me

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I love you. And I wish I could tell you that. But sometimes I feel like I’m convenient for you because you might be lonely. And knowing that makes me feel like you may never love me back. That fucking sucks.

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Hi hi can I request Jason (and Salim if you write him too) with an anxious and depressed s/o who has some family issues with their dad and stays in their room all day daydreaming to cope (I know that last bit is hella specific but I shzhsh I'm sorry)

Hello there!

My deepest apologies but my bio mentioned that requests are closed right now. I only had 5 days for winter break and I’m back at it for school already (online school is bananas) so I unfortunately won’t have the time!

Again, I’m so sorry! I’ll keep it in mind for when I have free time but I can’t and won’t promise anything!

[siren-queen-imagines]

Winning Christmas

This one was late because I got caught up in lots of stuff. But here's a belated gift for you guys! It's not as long as the rest of my stuff but I still wanted y'all to have something to enjoy! I love you all and for those that celebrate, Merry Christmas!

Pairing: Jason Kolchek x Reader

Masterlist

First Lieutenant Jason Kolchek met you a year after everything happened in Iraq.

His time with you has been nothing but amazing and he’s been so grateful to have you in his life. You put up with him and his shit, and he appreciates when you call him out on it. You’ve literally been a godsend after everything he’d been through in Iraq. You were patient and understanding with him, even when he didn’t deserve it. You explained to him that you understood he’s been through and seen some horrible things and you just wanted to be there for him.

Christmas has been one of the times of year he knows you show great appreciation for. It’s just the winter season mixed with the season of giving…you love it so much. You love shopping for gifts for the people you love in your life, including Jason. Jason has never really received a gift as thoughtful as the ones you give him. Granted you go shopping for them, but the amount of energy and thoughtfulness you put into the item(s) you get for him means the world…he swears he could never compete with you come gift giving.

In the three years he’s been with you, he felt like he could not match your thoughtfulness.

But this year…this year, he knew he had it…if this was a competition, he would win this Christmas. And it’s Christmas Eve, and you would not see it coming tonight.

He headed down stairs when he caught you pulling out your homemade gingerbread house pieces from the oven. When you placed the hot cookie sheet on the stove to cool, he snuck up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him.

“Smells good.” Jason whispered in your ear.

“It tastes good too.” You replied back with a smirk.

Jason pulled back and looked at you.

“You trying to get me back with the double meaning?”

“You started it.” You held up your hands in defense with a chuckle.

“Did I? I was just commenting innocently on your gingerbread house pieces.”

“I’m sure you were.” You replied sarcastically.

“Nick and Rachel should be here in an hour…so, whaddya say we do something about this double meaning before they get here?” Jason waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

You stepped forward and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Lead the way, Lieutenant.”

Jason kissed you before he picked you up, carrying you over to the kitchen table without breaking the kiss. There were only a couple things on it until Jason swept it away and sat you down on it.

________------------------------------

“That was your plan the moment you came down those stairs, wasn’t it?” You smirked at Jason as he helped you pick up what was on the table.

“Yeah.” Jason replied, giving you the same smirk. “Yeah, it was.”

“You’re corrupting my innocent body.”

“Innocent? You? I’m not so sure about that considering you were the one begging me for more.”

“I was not.” You faked offense.

“I want you inside me, Jason. Harder, Jason.” He mocked dramatically but playfully. “Lead the way, Lieutenant.”

“How dare you?” You laughed.

“Hey, I just do what I’m told. Especially since you played the Lieutenant card.”

“Well, since you’re done making fun of me, you mind helping me set up?” You lightly nudged him when you stood up.

“Of course. I got ya, darlin’.”

You and Jason began setting up to decorate the gingerbread house pieces that you baked. Sure it’s a small thing but it’s normal and after Iraq, Jason, Nick and Rachel were good with normal…especially since booze is gonna be involved. Everything was better with wine and beer.

“You think it could always be like this? With us?” You asked after a moment.

“What do you mean?” Jason replied with his brow furrowed in confusion.

“Like, normal. Dinners and gingerbread house decorating with friends…like domestic. You and me.”

Oh…you wanted forever with him. Your whole lives together with him. Oh. He could do that with you. He wanted that with you. What you and him have now is nothing Jason has ever truly had before and he wasn’t about to let it go…let you go. Ever. You’ve got him hooked and to hear that you’re asking for more of this? Sounds like he’s got you hooked too and he couldn’t be happier.

“Like for years to come?” Jason wanted to clarify..

“Yeah.”

“I could definitely see us doing this. Every year if that’s what you want.”

You looked over to him and nodded with a smile. Now that Jason was home without having to worry about deployment all the time, damn right you wanted to do things like this with him every year. It was the little things for you and times like this was everything…the memories you can build with Jason was everything. And with his earlier answer, it sounds like he doesn’t plan on things between the two of you ending anytime soon.

__________---------------------------------

“Bye!” You called out as Nick and Rachel got into their car with a wave.

Jason’s arms snaked around your waist from behind for the second time that night, this time he leaned forward and kissed you on the cheek before he waved goodbye to Nick and Rachel as they pulled out of the driveway.

“Come on. It’s cold out here.” Jason commented as your friends drove away.

You let Jason lead you back inside your home before you went into the dining room, beginning to clean up.

“It was good to see them.” You said before you downed the rest of the wine in your glass from moments ago.

“Yeah. Don’t see them enough.” Jason added, before going to help you clear the table.

“Nick seems pretty jazzed for the wedding next month.”

“Jazzed?” Jason laughed at the word.

“What?” You replied with a smile and a shrug. “It’s a term, don’t act like you haven’t heard me say it before.”

“Yeah, like what, last year?”

“Maybe!”

You had rolled up the sleeves of your long sleeved shirt, preparing to wash the dishes when Jason stopped you.

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of it in the morning. Besides, I have a surprise for you.”

“A surprise you say?” You turned to face him intrigued.

“Yeah. I was thinking we should exchange gifts tonight.”

You faked a gasp, your hand going to your chest. “And break the rules of Christmas?”

Jason smiled at you and shook his head.

“Let’s live life on the edge.”

“Lead the way, Lieutenant.”

“You are…just… asking for it again.”

You and Jason shared a chuckle before you followed him to the lit up Christmas tree in the living room. You took a seat as he grabbed the gifts you both left for each other under the tree. He passed you yours before he sat on the coffee table in front of you.

“I want you to open mine first.” Jason told you, small smile on his face.

You couldn’t help but smile brightly at the glint in his eyes. You couldn’t make out exactly what it was but he did look excited. Maybe a little anxious? Regardless of what, you were sure you were gonna love it. It was from Jason and he always gives it the good ol’ college try every year and that’s all that mattered to you.

You ripped the paper off to reveal a white box underneath. You lifted the lid on that box to find a smaller one with tissue paper around it, acting as a cushion. You pulled out the smaller box and realized it was a jewelry box. With a smile, you looked around for a music wind up. When you found it, you twisted it and it played such an adorable little jingle. You opened it to see little things inside it.

“I thought you might like this. These are all little things from our dates over the years.” Jason said, pulling out some things. "That little keychain you won me at the arcade on our second date.” He showed it off. “Photo booth pictures from the carnival last year…”

You smiled at everything he showed you, practically taking you on a trip down memory lane. He had little knick knacks of inside jokes, more pictures…he grabbed the second part of your gift, having you open it, being a framed copy of the sky chart from your first date, a reminder of when he took you stargazing that night.

“This…this is amazing, Jason.” You started, trying to keep the tears at bay. This was the most thoughtful and best gift you could have ever gotten.

“There’s one more thing.” Jason replied as he stood up. He took the framed sky chart and placed it down next to you before he took your hands and stood you up. His hand went into his pocket before he got down on one knee. He showed you the velvet box in his hand, opening it to show you a beautiful ring. One hand went to your mouth as Jason held the other. “Y/N, you are truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. You’ve given me more than I could ever explain and I am so grateful that you walked into my life when you did. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and have a family with you…grow old together and raise hell in the old folks home together.” You and Jason shared a chuckle at that. “You and me. Forever. Will you marry me?”

Jason unintentionally held his breath…he knew you would say yes after what you guys talked about earlier but it did not help his nerves. The tears that fell from your eyes, that has to be a good sign right?

“Yes.” You replied once you trusted your voice enough to reply.

The breath Jason held finally left his body as he quickly took out the ring and placed it on your finger. He stood upright and pulled you into his arms, kissing you deeply.

He did it. He finally asked you to marry him after what felt like forever. He was originally gonna ask you before today but he felt like it would be perfect with the gift he had planned for you. Finally. You and him were planning to be together forever.

“I love you.” Jason told you when he pulled back, his forehead resting against yours, his eyes closed.

“I love you more.” You whispered before giving Jason another peck on the lips.

As Jason mentioned before, gift giving wasn't a competition. But if it were, he was pretty sure he won Christmas this year.

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reader LIKED the fic? reader left thoughtful comment because they thought there was something worth analyzing? oh! oh! love for reader! love for reader for one thousand years!

[siren-queen-imagines]

Isn’t it weird to think that House of Ashes took place in 2003 and that means the “incident” took place almost 20 years ago (if it were real life)?

And our dear Jason would be almost 50 in this modern day 2021?

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I wish I could say everything that was in my mind

I wish that I could find the words

I wish that I wasn’t so afraid that you’d break my heart

Something this easy shouldn’t be so hard

I wish I could tell you how you make me feel

I wish I could tell you that I love you