sitprettydarling

[sitprettydarling]

we all fall down

It happened again.  

ashes, ashes we all fall down

[sitprettydarling]

You are my sunshine  

[sitprettydarling]

scared to be scared

After the most recent slew of shootings, I texted a friend freaking out.  And she responded with “It’s scary that u have to be scared to be who u are.”  And well I think that sums it up. It is scary that you have to be scared to be who you are.  Religion and race and sexuality gender identity disability status are now all fuel for this negative rhetoric that attacks anything that is other than the norm.   

I have a theory behind this. This hateful rhetoric is being spread by our government.  The spread of fear and negativity is impacting how we perceive others. We are putting all of our problems onto anyone other than the majority.  Giving people a target.  “If we get rid of the problematic people then we no longer have our problems.” 

But the people who we are targeting aren’t at fault. And hurting them is making our problems worse.  I wish I knew how to fix this. But I don’t know how. 

All I know is that we need change.  And it does not involve violence.  

 No one should have to worry about disclosing information that they once thought was okay because you don’t know who people are anymore. You don’t know if the kid sitting next to you in class hates who you are just based off of false stereotypes.

Because no one should be scared that they are scared. 

[sitprettydarling]

Life doesn't have a fast-forward or pause, so you just have to watch through the commercials.

sitprettydarling

[sitprettydarling]

Don’t Tell Me I’m A  S.L.U.T

I created a podcast to discuss the complicated issue of slut shaming and the even more complicated issue of women slut-shaming other women.  Bea Miller, rising pop artist, uses her own experiences to take back the word slut turning it into sweet little unforgettable thing. 

[sitprettydarling]

[sitprettydarling]

why cardi b, a twerking pregnant woman, is the definition of feminism.

In the 21st century, social media has a lot to do with fame. Cardi B has used social media and reality TV to launch her fame.  Cardi’s over the top personality and failure to follow social norms are what caused her to be one of the newest break-out stars.  In the RollingStone magazine article, Grigoriadas talks about Cardi B’s first album Invasion of Privacy “set a record for the most first-week streams by a female artist on Apple Music.” As a tribute to her success, RollingStone magazine put her on the cover.  The cover shows Cardi B, basically naked, standing, looking directly at the camera.  Offset, her baby daddy/fiance, is sitting looking submissive and kissing her pregnant stomach.  At a time when women are typically seen as at their weakest- which like bich we ain't she’s making a HUMAN- she is at her strongest. The intimate and powerful RollingStone cover featuring pregnant Cardi B, and Offset, shows how this unconventionally feminist queen is challenging society's gender normative views of pregnancy, intimacy, success, and dominance.

In today's political climate (i.e., *gag* Donald Trump) there is a lot of controversy revolving women's rights.  Because the current political climate has been much more conservative, Cardi B is at the LITERAL opposite end of the spectrum (I mean she twerked at Coachella while being several months pregnant...which, by the way, I THINK IS AWESOME).  Cardi B is “proving women rappers are a force to be reckoned with.  This is the second time she has held the top spot and the first time a women rapper has topped it twice.” Cardi made statements against Trump who is hypocritical about- well everything- but specifically staying monogamous and upholdings traditional matrimonial values.  Yet, “‘he has a problem himself to be disrespectful to women, and that still hasn't gotten him impeached… it’s so clear that this n**** has sex with so many porn stars, and he’s just been shown to be a dickhead’” Cardi said in an interview with RollingStone Magazine.  Honestly same Cardi, same girl. But Cardi’s success has made her stand out even more during a time when gender equality seems to have moved backward, and she is taking that power back.

All of this success has made her controversial.  To say the least, she is anything but conventional.  We (society, not me, I’m a feminist Y'all) tend to think of women and pregnancy as a weakness.  “In a world that expects you to alter yourself to please the masses, she is true to herself. She has always been lively and animated. Did people expect that to disappear because she became pregnant?" Cardi, has done anything but disappear as shown by her album Invasion of Privacy. “Invasion of Privacy bows with the largest on-demand audio streaming week ever for an album by a woman” as declared on the Billboard top 200 chart.  Cardi is badass, and like any successful woman, other people feel threatened and try to put her down.

When Cardi twerked at Coachella the internet EXPLODED.  Because apparently when you are pregnant, you suddenly turn into a Nun.  Ok, internet.  Makes sense.  Twitter ATTACKED.  People expected her to crawl in a hole or suddenly lose the raunchy, raw, super sexualized, part of what makes Cardi B, Cardi B.  But she didn’t, and people didn't like that she didn’t change who she was just because of pregnancy. In an interview with Ellen DeGeneres Cardi said,  "I was just trying to show the world how I got pregnant in the first place.”  f that doesn’t show a woman who doesn’t give a shit what people think, I don’t know what does. AND I FRICKIN LOVE IT.

Of course, if people got upset over dancing people were going to get upset over a picture of a naked pregnant woman.  That same RollingStone article that I mentioned earlier, didn’t go over well.  Relating back to that theme of people seeing pregnancy associated with "purity" and anything that deviates from this is wrong.  She isn't "ladylike," or "submissive," and she isn't letting society's gender normative beliefs of pregnancy and intimacy and dominance, affect who she is.  She is the spitting image of new-feminism.  Because she's not trying to not be sexualized instead she is saying, "Oh no honey, I'm sexual and powerful, BUT I'm gonna do it on my terms."  She's saying, "I'm hot, and you gotta deal with it."  And that's why you gotta love her.

[sitprettydarling]

And sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in.

Jane Austen

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[sitprettydarling]

i sia over there

Sia is quite literally a faceless artist whose music quickly became some of the most chart-topping hits. In Hunger Makes me a Modern Girl Brownstein writes “Persona for a man is equated with power; persona for a woman makes her less of a woman, more distant and unknowable, and thus threatening” (166). Sia almost eliminates her gender by not showing her face “Sia” is simply a wig. It’s kind of fucked that she feels she has to do this, but that's not really the point, now is it? Her abstract persona makes her stand out from other artists, she doesn't care about fame and uses her music for her enjoyment. A faceless brand gives her the ability to make “Sia” whoever she wants. Sias, symbolic music videos, hidden identity, and talented ability to write about the things we don’t want to talk about give her a unique genderless persona whose music is powerful enough to tackle significant issues. Although it's fucked up she has to do this; Sia carefully crafts a powerful persona by removing gender she can let the music’s power speak for itself and effectively talk about difficult topics and issues.

Sia was not new to the music world when her hit single Breathe Me, came out.  She had been a renowned songwriter for years writing songs like Diamonds, Pretty hurts, and Titanium. While she was a renowned songwriter for years, she was not always that successful musician.  In an interview with James Cordon, she said that what doesn't exist in pop music is mystery, this mysterious identity is what makes her powerful.  She had become friends with many artists she wrote for and saw how chaotic their lives had become and she didn't want that for herself. In an interview with Chris Connelly, she said how she was at the grocery store, her song was on the radio, and no one said a single thing to her. She was able to retain some normalcy. When Breathe me, came out her agent wanted her to go on tour, but part of her success stemmed from her genuine interest in music. Going on tour would deviate from what made her music relevant for so many people. This resistance to change from her authentic roots are what formed her unique and abstract persona filled with wacky outfits, and abstract music videos. Part of what gave her the ability to have such creative freedom was not having to worry about gender and the boundaries it sets.  

Gender plays a large part in much of music, men (traditionally) sing about sex, drugs, and don’t have as much pressure to keep up a perfect public image versus women are on the opposite end of the spectrum. Sia, a former alcoholic, stated how being critiqued over her appearance wouldn’t be healthy for her and so the blonde wig helped mask any anxieties about that. The signature blonde wig became a part of her brand. Sia could be; whoever, she wanted it to be as she shows by having Maddie Zeigler wear it in many music videos.  Removing gender from the equation allowed her to write powerful music she was passionate about that was not constrained by traditional gender constructs.  

Sia’s music videos and creative lyrics, like a lot of artists are a part of who she is. She takes the dark lyrics and transforms them into hit pop songs. Breathe Me, was written when she was depressed and dependent on drugs and alcohol. She sings I “hurt myself again today/ and the worst part is there’s no one else to blame.” “Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found” As she got further along in her music career, she started to use music videos as another way to explore. Chandelier uses the talented young dancer Maddie Zeigler, in an interview she said the dancer with the same wig represents herself. Its a catchy melody with dark lyrics. “One, two, three, one, two, three, drink. “Keep my glass full until morning light ‘cause I’m just holding on for tonight.” Elastic heart, however, has also received a lot of controversy for being too intimate as Maddie and dancing Shia Labeouf both dressed in tight spandex. The song is about a toxic relationship and the symbolism behind the cage is Maddie as a wild animal that Shaia is trying to tame. “And I wanted it, and I wanted it bad/, but there were so many red flags” “and let's be clear I trust no one” well I've got thick skin and an elastic heart.” At the end of the video, Maddie slides through the bars of the cage leaving Shia alone.  

Overall I believe Sia is a boss ass bitch who was able to take her pain and personal experiences and make them into something powerful.  Sia has changed the music industry by blurring the lines of gender constructs and concealing her identity.  Sias creative genius allows her to powerfully talk about issues we often don't want to acknowledge.

[sitprettydarling]

just a girl

I read the zine, “Bikini Kill A Color And Activity Book” by Kathleen Hanna, which oddly enough has very little coloring. Silly us, we don’t know any better.  

We are just girls. 

Kathleen brings up this paradigm that women girls are property.  On the surface, the zine looks angry, which it is, but if you look closer there is fear mixed in.  It brings up sexual abuse, rape culture, and lack of justice. All are still taboo even over 20 years later, but who needs progress anyway?

 We are just girls.

Bikini Kill is one of the most popular bands from the Riot Grrrl movement, Kathleen being the lead singer. She discusses the oppression that women girls have experienced but is rarely talked about. The zine has a set of lyrics from a Bikini Kill song I can’t find online, I must be incompetent. 

I am just a girl.  

You can see the irony behind being taught to stay pure, but going home and being violated by the person feeding you the same rhetoric.  “Buy my clothes 2 sizes too small/ protect from those nasty boys.”  “ no one is going to fuck my daughter you say/ except me/ me means daddy/ me always means daddy.” The lyrics set the mood for the zine which revolves around sexual assault and violence, something that Kathleen has dealt with.  Sexual assault and violence are now being talked about through the Riot Grrrl movement, just like with many artists she connects the personal with the political.

Kathleen, discusses how women girls are brainwashed at a young age to stay quiet and do as they are told. The girl in the story is

 just a girl.

The opening article?  I don’t know what to call it- must be because 

I am just a girl- 

is about why the author writes this zine. The writer's anger is apparent when you first open it.  She acknowledges how we want to believe there is justice, but there really isn’t, and we are ignoring the issue.  She doesn’t want to be Just a girl. Women Girls feel trapped in a world that is made for men. Kathleen, just like with her music, writes about something a lot of women girls identify with, even now.  

Women Girls are not just arm-candy, as unimportant as a Rolex.  We are nice to look at, and give our owners pleasure.  We are an accessory people love to touch even, but we only add value to our owner.

We are not your fucking Rolex. 

Although, Kathleen fears that we might be. When she writes “my kind if being killed off, in fact, I’m not even sure that I exist” she feels smothered. Maybe this where the progress lies.  I don’t think the amount of hate has lessened in the last 20 years.  In fact, maybe it has increased.  Just ask the man who catcalled me when I was walking to the bus last week.  We are fighting, and flourishing.  More of us than ever are fighting for the world to listen. We are aware that how we are treated is not right. We need the world to hear that

 we are not just girls.

For now, we are still

 just girls,

 objectified for the pleasure of men, good Christian boys men.  “Hey Christian Boy”  discusses this irony, and is one article in the zine that is less angry, yet just as effective. The calm is ominous in contrast to the grim story. The article talks about the rape and murder of a young woman girl through the perspective of a woman girl who found her body. She brings up the grim details of her murder and the hypocrisy behind fighting for your country, but going home to beat and objectify women girl.   

The article goes through the perspective of a man, and how little he thinks of women to assault her and toss her aside. She writes the thought process of the girl who finds her body as tries desperately to remember any identifying information; to give her back an identity which is so often stolen by not acknowledging the issue.

The mention of religion (Christianity) in the title is also a testament to the privilege Christian boys men have, and the number of people straying from religion for its traditionally patriarchal ideas.

Through all the anger this zine is more dimensional, anger is just an expression of different mixes of fear and sadness and frustration. They say anger is a secondary emotion to sadness and fear.  This seems to hold true.  

We, WOMEN, fear being swallowed whole by this society, a society made for men.  We are sad because we see it happening.  But then again, what do I know?  What right do I have- what right do we have to speak and stand up for myself and other women girls.

After all, 

I am just a girl.