siwoline

[siwoline]

“believe me, i tried unloving you.” — [pjs.]

♫ : an art gallery could never be as unique as you by mrld

note. the painting mentioned here is just a work of fiction. if in case it relates to any painting, craft, or art piece in reality, all is purely coincidental.

word count: 1,506  |  angst, unrequited love

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“y/n!”

as soon as jay reaches you, he hugged you tight as if you did not just see each other two days ago. you laughed at how clingy he is even though you got used to it already because he’s been like that ever since.

he loosened his embrace to take a look at you then asked, “how’s my favorite one?”

he scrunched his nose almost looking like the cute cats you see online, which made you laugh even more and so you bury your face, your cheeks actually, to his chest as a response that you missed him just the same and tightened the hug that you share.

when you initiated to let go of your hug, you saw him pouted his lips but since your time is limited today, he decided to just guide you to the car he brought while you were laughing at how cute he is today. jay opened the car door for you, letting you ride on the shotgun seat. he took a turn and sat on the driver’s seat and looked at you, now showing a smile.

“are you excited?” you smiled, almost laughing at his giddy smile.

“ya, y/n! it’s a museum trip! and we’re just 30 minutes away from it,” and so he started driving.

today is saturday and you are to visit a local museum out of town. it’s like a tradition for you two to go out every weekend and you even made a jar full of papers folded into tiny pieces. written in those papers are names of places you both want to go to, picking one every weekend that passes by.

and today’s trip is actually the last paper you picked from that jar, a museum.

you both agreed that you won’t add more papers when you noticed that it’s slowly emptying itself. instead, you’ll create more on your last day and decided that you’ll share one secret with each other during the trip.

and jay seems to be in the middle of knowing whether he’s nervous or excited, probably thinking of what today brings.

you can’t deny that you’re feeling nervous too, which is quite weird. last night, you went back and forth in your room, thinking of what secret you’ll share with him but you can’t think of any. in your defense, it seems like jay knows almost everything about you already.

jay is observant, very attentive actually. he takes note of the littlest details about you but he doesn’t brag about it. there are times you’re taken aback because he knows what food you want to order when you’re having a lunch out or that he knows what random thing you forgot to bring on a busy day.

he knows the meaning behind your raised brows, your blank stares, or even when you are suddenly spacing out. jay familiarized himself with you that it’s crazy to think of a thing he doesn’t know about you.

“y/n! we’re here!”

you looked outside and saw a tall tower beside what seems like a casa. you turned back to tell him, “the national museum?”

he nodded, smiling, and shrugged his shoulders as if he’s telling you that he got it correct again. you shrieked and pulled him for a tight hug, “thank you, jay.”

growing up, you had sweet little crushes with people whom you met from school or in class. just last month, or maybe a few months ago, you remembered that you always go to the national museum for a first date with the person you were dating. you told jay that you wanted to create new memories on the national museum because you always think of how petty and hopeless romantic you once were.

but the truth is, you just want to forget about the memories you made with the wrong people. you wanted to start anew and think of the places you’ve been through with only happy memories in mind. whenever you think of the national museum, and every other places you’ve been to with the people who hurt you, you could only remember how impulsive, toxic, and love-thirsty you once were.

your thoughts stopped when he let go of your hug and went out the car to open the door for you. when everything’s settled, you linked your arms with his and you walked inside the museum together.

the museum caters thousands of masterpiece that only the national heritage owns. you and jay were being toured to the place and he occasionally tells you a thing or two about the art you’re seeing. the fact that he knows these kinds of information is already known to you because jay always wanted to go to places like this, where there are stories behind every thing that is wonderful.

when the museum guide ended the tour and said that you can now go around the place on your own, jay held your hand and looked at you.

“y/n, i know a piece to show you.”

you were walking past by the paintings about society, about children and family, until you reached the section where it’s about love. you were sure it’s about love. you looked around and you saw a rose quartz painting.

“jay, a rose quartz!” you said, obviously excited with what you saw. he laughed and told you that, “i know, y/n.”

you dragged him in front of the painting. it was rose quartz placed in what seems like a hand plate. the art is beautiful and mesmerizing that you were just admiring it with your eyes while jay is beside you, probably doing the same.

“this room,” jay caught your attention when he suddenly spoke. “this room is said to be a love section, y/n.”

you nodded and said, “it’s pretty obvious, jay. the paintings here,” you were cut off by him.

“but art can be interpreted in so many ways, y/n.” you looked at him, confused with what he’s trying to tell.

“the painting before we enter this room is called The Manifestation,” this time, he’s looking at you too. “i still don’t get it, jay” was the only response you can give.

you remember the painting you saw earlier before you enter this space. it’s an image of two silhouettes but only the other person is drawn with a heart. it was simple, yet, based on what jay is trying to say, it was meaningfully done.

“we are to share a secret today, right?” he asked, changing the topic. you only nodded as a response because you’re getting confused with where this conversation is going.

“y/n,” he called you, now with his body facing you. he reached for both your hands and held them gently. you hummed, gesturing that he continue.

“they say it’s actually bad to manifest for a person to move or act against their own free will, so i didn’t try to do that and i don’t want to. but when people told me that we’re not allowed to touch the art,” he said.

he then slowly envelopes you with his arms, “then why am i hugging one now?”

“jay,” you let go of his embrace, looking at him with confused eyes. “what did you say?”

he’s confessing. for real.

it’s already known to you that jay possibly might have feelings for you but you never got the chance to confirm if it’s true. it’s only your friends and your gut feeling that made you think that way. but you told yourself that jay stays only because he pities you and you were nothing but a mess since the day he met you. and jay being himself, you thought that he just wants to take care of you and nothing more than that.

and so you asked, “aren’t you just being confused with your feelings, jay?”

“i genuinely like you, y/n.”

“but i’m not—”

"look, i know that you’re not interested in romance. i don’t put malice in every hug, every i love you that we share, and in every take care that you give me before going home.”

and he’s not wrong. your tendencies of pushing away people that show meaningful interest and affection to you are all starting to build up within your system, as if it’s caging you again, stopping you from giving all that you have again to a person.

the fear of receiving affection and love takes over like a hunter, attacking those who would dare shower you hearts.

“since when did all of this happen, jay?” was the only words you could think of that would be less hurtful for him.

he looked away, catching words to say, and looked back at you. his eyes, hopeful ones, are looking straight at yours. “since day one?”

absurd.

“then from now on, can you start over?”

because no one can really love consistently. no one can love so genuinely.

“what do you mean?” he is confused.

and even if there is, you don’t want to risk your heart again.

“can you start day one, possibly with someone else?”

[siwoline]

i remember heeseung every time i hear this song .... it’s addicting :D

[siwoline]

“can we stay like this forever?” — [sjy.]

♫ : spaces by martti franca

word count: 1,901  |  angst, masochist

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some, if not everyone, surely had a tower moment. a phase when everything seems to go downfall and you had no other choice but to surrender to wherever the universe takes you. some faced everything alone and some found a companion.

in your case, you had jake.

you met each other through a common friend back in high school. it was just a “hey, this is y/n. y/n, this is jake.” type of introduction and you just both went on with your lives separately, not minding each other’s business because you clearly had nothing to do with it. you weren’t interested with him and, on your point of view, he wasn’t too.

but suddenly, you passed by each other’s lives again, when he saw you sitting like a drunk single aunt by the gutter of an abandoned gas station. it was because you told your friends you’ll walk your way home even though your vision was spinning and your head hurt like hell.

you remember, “y/n?” jake mispronounced your name when he saw you then.

and you corrected him even though you’re drunk by saying, “it’s y/n! you stupid!”

“i’m sorry, y/n. do you need something?”

obviously! is this man really stupid? were your thoughts. you were looking at him meaningfully, trying to tell him that he’s unbelievable but he seems to not care about your stares. he just reached for your arms and guided you to wrap them around his broad shoulders.

this man’s caring. what the hell.

as much as you wanted to throw your shoes at jake that time, you just didn’t have the energy to fight and perhaps you wanted to thank him for somehow taking care of you even though you barely know each other.

after that night, you were informed that, apparently, jake studies in the same university and he lives near your pad. and according to your common friend, it’s just a 10-minute ride from yours.

your encounter with him did not stop there because you saw each other again on a party hosted by your friend. the moment you laid eyes at each other, he recognized you right away and walked towards you leaving a girl who’s clearly hitting on him that time.

that night, you two shared stories and even danced with some acquaintances, completely unaware that it was the start of something you didn’t anticipate.

“who’s this?” you said when you picked up the call of someone who’s bugging you at three in the morning, the day after your friend’s party.

that’s when you heard jake mumbling words you cannot decipher because first, it was, again, three in the morning, and second, he was a drunk zombie.

“where are you?” you asked him repetitively and still trying to respond to what he was saying until the bartender took over the phone and told you where he is.

you went to the bar to fetch him. jake looked so wrecked and tired from the world, he’s a complete mess when you saw him lying on the bar’s couch. when you went to him and woke him up, he looked at you and there you saw his stares. his intense eyes looked like he wanted someone to save him or just someone who’s willing to hear his stories.

and so you did.

it was almost everyday, at three in the morning, when you go out to see each other at the gas station where you first met as acquaintances. you’d bring snacks from your stock and he’d bring drinks bought from the convenience store he’ll pass by on his way to you.

you’d talk about everyday, how things went wrong and how things are going. you’d tell him that the only constant thing in the world is life fucking you up and his boisterous laugh would disturb anyone and anything near. he’d tell you how pretty the night sky is and how badly he wanted to travel just to see its end and you’d agree and tell jake you’ll go with him.

no one knew of the times you’re together, not even the friend who introduced you to each other. it was just a moment between you two, and you hate to admit but there are times that by thinking of it, the thought of seeing jake, made you feel things.

and god, as well as jake, knows how badly you hate feeling tickling emotions, those of the positive kind, because you know that there’s definitely an aftermath.

“how’s your brother?” he randomly asked when you were just talking about an online post you shared with each other through chat.

“he’s doing well. you want to see him next weekend?” then he nodded as a response.

it was not just you who grew fond of jake, some of your family members, only those whom he met, did as well. especially your little brother. they’d play games when you and jake would come over to your grandfather’s house where your brother temporarily lives. they would also talk about boy stuff, completely excluding you from the conversation, and you can see the both of them enjoying their time.

and, annoyingly, again, this made you feel more at ease with jake.

“do you still drink?” you asked meaninglessly.

“not anymore,” he shrugged, as if saying he doesn’t know why.

“as i am,” that’s when he looked at you, confused. “i don’t know. maybe i’m healed,” and you laughed with the absurdity of the thought.

but jake smiled with what you said, “that can be true.”

“what about you? you’re finally moved on from the woman you cried for when i first fetched you at the bar?”

he turned his head away, obviously feeling shy. “that was more than a year ago, y/n.” his lips are forming a pout. “plus, i’m being comforted in a much healthier way.”

you were shocked by his response. “you’re seeing someone again?”

he shook his head and said, “i just found comfort in someone’s presence.”

“isn’t that the same?”

he looked at you and said, “i don’t want to intervene in their peace.”

then all of a sudden, that was your last encounter with jake. you didn’t hear any news about him or his whereabouts for a good six months. when you were told that he’ll be attending a seminar, you woke up late which led to not seeing him around the campus ever since. just like that, jake was nowhere to be found.

and you cannot believe why jake’s no-show bothered you so much.

you thought of him almost everyday, thinking whether he’s doing fine or coping from his heartbreak and problems. you thought of how he’s doing in school because you haven’t seen his shadow from anywhere. you were dead worried of him yet no one knows that you still are.

“y/n, later! don’t pretend to forget, you brat,” you laughed and nodded as a response.

your friend is having a party tonight and you prepared for it the moment you arrived home. wearing the simplest attire, almost looking as if you’re not interested to go, you went to the party.

the moment you stepped foot at the bar, you were reminded of several things. and definitely one of them is jake.

weird how the loud bass and taste of beer feels so nostalgic for you. was it the long period of time that passed since you decided to quit drinking? or was it, again, him?

you shook your head, trying to brush off the thought you have in mind. you took your fifth glass of cuervo and looked at your wristwatch only to see that it’s about three in the morning. you stood up, with your head quite heavy, and went to find your friend so you could bid good bye and leave. 

only to be stopped at your tracks because a pair of eyes are staring at you intensely. it’s jake.

it was quite a moment when you stared at each other but you decided to pretend as if you didn’t see anything. you’re confused at what you’re feeling at the very moment because, for you, you’re not supposed to feel anger just because he didn’t show up nor feel as if you’re longing for his presence.

“y/n,” you heard him call your name and a cold palm touched your skin when he held your hands to stop you from walking away.

you faced him, trying to show a smile. and there you saw a cleaner look of jake, a more mature one you must say. you looked at his eyes and you were surprised with what you’re seeing. your smile grew wider, more genuine this time, because he definitely looks happier now.

“hey. long time no see,” was all you can utter.

“y/n, i’m sorry—”

“look, i have to go home. the apartment’s gate,” you were cut off by him telling you that, “there’s no curfew and you always have a key with you. you don’t forget that. you’re afraid to get locked out.”

right. of course, jake knows that.

you’re afraid to get locked out, you’re afraid to be left behind. without a word, without any notice. you find it hard to forget, especially the moments dear to you, the moments that kept you warm. he knows that but why did he leave was all over your head.

“i have to go,” you said and let go of his hand but he didn’t budge. you kept moving and telling him to, “let go, jake.”

“y/n, i like you.” was what jake needed to say to make you stop from struggling.

he reached for your right arm and now his intense stares feel as if it can see your soul. and what happens now is the very thing you’re afraid of.

“i like you, i love you, i,” he sighed in frustration. “the last time we saw each other, it was you i was referring to. it was you whom i do not want their peace to be ruined. god, i even wanted to talk to you when you were first introduced to me. i wanted to hear more of your stories, i wanted to be even just a small part of your life, y/n.”

“i was so afraid of telling you because i know you fear this the most. you fear feeling things, you fear giving and risking all that you have, you fear the warmth of what love could give, y/n. i know that and you’ve always reminded me about that.” he continued.

“then why are you telling me this now?” i said, almost shouting because of how frustrated i am with what he’s saying. “why are you telling me you love me after leaving me, jake?”

“because,” he paused, looking both tired and frustrated of what’s happening right now. “because i can never get over you. i tried but i can’t and maybe because i do not even want to, y/n. i hate—”

“i fear commitments, jake.”

he looked at you, stared even, and smiled as if he just got reminded of a detail he forced himself to set aside.

still looking at you, with eyes begging you to let out what you really do feel, he said, “you can take your time. please, just allow me to—”

“i fear commitments, jake,” you repeated what you said. “what’s so hard to understand—”

“then just have me by your side, like old times, please.”

[siwoline]

“always and in all ways, bravest.” — [lhs.]

♫ : tunnels by shirebound & busking

word count: 1,298  |  angst, cigarettes

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being the eldest, especially in an asian family, means you have no one to share your struggles with. it’s pretty rare for you to find comfort from any material things or merely just from anyone.

growing up, you have always been the type who remains their calm. when things go wrong, as how your friends described you, you never lose your shit nor let your emotions take over what you’d say or how your actions are going to be. you have always been the go-to person of the people around you and you’re used to that.

even though you are unknowingly losing yourself internally, every fucking time.

so when the feeling of comfort and affection comes your way, it’s only natural for you to mistake it as a strange feeling. the worse part is you’re as dense as an osmium to never realize that you’re being cared for, you’re being loved.

"y/n!”

staring at the person who called your name, with so much enthusiasm, makes life both easy and hazy. you’re used to people shouting your name because they need something or that you did something against their will, and this came to the point where hearing your name being said with such emotion does wonders to your heart.

it confuses you.

“heeseung,” you said as you smile while he walks to reach where you’re standing.

you talked to see each other today at the park because he said he wants to tell you something. in return, you agreed because it’s a weekend and you badly want someone to pull you out from your family’s house. and heeseung has always been the person who does the favor, he never fails to call you on a weekend and ask you out for a brunch.

“you okay?” is always the first thing he asks. and just with that question, the tired feeling you endured the past days comes rushing to the realization that you’ve done so much the entire week.

but as per usual, “yeah. just a little tired,” is always your response.

what a liar you are.

“liar,” heeseung said which made you laugh because that’s the exact same thing you have in mind.

the two of you basically grew up together. your parents know each other from college and your family’s house is just a street away from his, and before you reach each other’s you’ll pass by this park.

undoubtedly, he knows so much about you. he knows when you’re excited, he knows when you’re sad, and he definitely knows when you’re lying about your feelings.

“hey,” he bumped your shoulder. “i’ve been thinking if you would like to go to...” you were sitting beside each other at one of the park’s benches when he opens up this conversation with his fidgeting hands on his lap.

“where is it that you’re too nervous to continue? hmm, heeseung?” you laughed at the thought of him being cute and nervous in front of you.

“i just,” he looked at you and let out a frustrated sigh. “come on, y/n! don’t laugh at me!” he said as if sulking.

“okay, okay!” you said obviously trying to hold your laughter. “i’ll stop,” you said but you still have that annoying smile on your face.

he sighed and took a stick from his cigarette pack and offered one to you. “are you really that nervous?” you asked because heeseung only smokes when he’s ugly fidgeting.

“been preparing for this one,” he said. then he reached for his, “lighter,” and offered it also to you.

you looked at him with confused eyes. what’s happening with him? was the only thought you have.

is it because you’re leaving?

he’s been acting suspiciously since last week when you told him that you are to leave. you’re about to move out from your house but when you told him about it, he said nothing. aside from the panic expressed all over his face, he was speechless.

since then, you felt as if he’s rushing. you catch his stares and smiles more often than usual when you’re together and it bothers you. or rather, it confuses you, because you’ve seen that kind of stare before.

and it was from you, every time you look at him.

you puffed a little when stress starts rushing in. you hate this feeling, the thought of going through a new phase with a person dear to you. you hate change because it destroys something you’re used to.

it’s not unknown to you that you like heeseung. god, you love the man. you love him as a friend, as a brother figure, you love him as a chaperone or even as your father’s copy pasta because whenever you go home late from somewhere he’s always the first one to look for you. you love heeseung so dearly that it scares you.

“are you really leaving?” was the question that cut the loud silence between you two.

you slowly nodded your head as an answer and puffed again. this conversation was obviously what you’ve been avoiding to happen, and you know he does feel the same way, because what might happen next after you leave will be something new. something unfamiliar.

“if,” he sighed loudly, releasing smoke from his former puff. “if you leave, who will i call on a day like this?”

you wanted to ask the same question too. you wanted to know whether you can still go to him or ask him to be your escape. you wanted to have him by your side but you have your reasons.

he sighed more loudly this time, seemingly frustrated. “the thought of tomorrow without you here scares me, y/n.”

“heeseung,” you looked at him.

only to see a pair of doe eyes, tears almost falling.

“heeseung,” you reached for his free hand. “i received an offer. it’s a great opportunity for my career and i might earn money for my family if i’d take it.” you said, telling him your reasons.

still looking at you, he nodded. “i understand, y/n. i know your responsibilities, all of your priorities. i get them,”

“then what are you afraid of?”

“because i’m scared to leave all of this to fate.”

confused, you asked, “what do you mean?”

“i like you, y/n.” he laughed as if it’s absurd that he’s saying it just now. when you’re leaving, now when you’re about to go far. “no, i don’t like you. i love you.”

his tears started falling, “as much as i want to be in every life event you have, to be with you every day, to witness your highs and lows, i have always known that the love i have for you should not be a burden. it shouldn’t,”

“heeseung,”

“it shouldn’t get in between your priorities. the love i have should understand, it should be as brave as you.”

“then why are you telling me this?” you said, almost crying.

"i don’t know...” he sighed, “maybe to know if it’s reciprocated? or if i have to pull my shit together and be braver once you leave,”

“heeseung,” “y/n, you have all the time in this world. i mean no rush.”

those words were followed by a long silence. followed by the sound of birds chirping so loudly and the laughter of children from a distance. you looked at him, still holding his hands, both of you holding a stick of cigarette on the other, and thought... will things be any different if you tell him your feelings now?

“i have a lot on my plate, heeseung, and i can’t afford to add more to it.”

and just like that, you went separate ways leaving this story all to fate, just exactly what he feared the most.

because you’re afraid he’d turn into another sad song.

[siwoline]

enhypen & heartbreaks

alternative title: enhypen & opm love songs

inspiration. i just miss the feeling of being in love and getting hurt because of it going to live gigs & the feeling of having an opm (original pinoy music) / a local indie song play at the background while you’re having a moment. so here’s a series of enhypen and local indie songs imagines to compensate for that. i miss everything i used to do pre-covid! stay safe, everyone! ♡

warnings. toxic relationship, unrequited love, curses, some vices (cigarettes and alcohol), and red flags.

genre. angst, fluff. female reader x [ non-idol ] enhypen member. i’m really really sorry! i tried to be as inclusive as i can but there are certain points when i feel like i failed to do so and some of the scenarios involve women struggle.

will post every 00:00 PHT! ♡

hehezz this is the first time i’ll write a series of imagines so please feel free to chat me your thoughts and ask for requests <3

~ ‘, *.｡* ♡ { playlist } ♡ * .｡* ,’ ~ 

a. — [lhs.] : tunnels by shirebound & busking

b. — [pjs.] : an art gallery could never be as unique as you by mrld

c. — [sjy.] : spaces by martti franca

d. — [psh.]

e. — [ksw.]

f. — [yjw.]

g. — [nhr.]

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[siwoline]

.｡* ♡ { timestamps } ♡ * .｡

ㅤㅤㅤㅤtimestamps navigation zone!

legends: f - fluff / a - angst / s - suggestive or nsfw

ㅤㅤ↠ 00:00 — [lhs.] f

ㅤㅤ↠ 23:23 — [sjy.] f

[siwoline]

00:00 — [lhs.]

genre. fluff. pairing. female reader x enhypen heeseung. word count. 730 words. note. episode 5 of en o’clock made me miss hee even more! have a good read, everyone hehe please leave your thoughts also <3 enjoy! <3

. ｡ * ♡ ` , *

"why did you call?" heeseung asked, with a worried tone, from the other end of the line.

you’ve been friends with him for quite a long time; probably more than the years you spent in high school or much more than that, you’re not quite sure. you just know that you’ve spent almost your entire life with him and he knows almost everything about you, even the littlest details, even the things left unsaid.

but you’re sure he doesn’t know about two things: the reason why you called and what you’re thinking about at this time of the day.

“boo, are you still there?”

the universe knows how much you wanted to throw the phone when he calls you that. it feels ticklish and it gets into your system like a madman forcing you to explode, or rather to expose what your secrets are.

you let out a small hmm just to confirm that you’re still at the other end of the line. “hee,” and called his name.

“can’t sleep?”

“do you think...” you let out what seems to be an exasperated sigh which was followed by a long pause.

he just interrupted the silence by reminding you, “hey. it’s okay. take your time.”

and you hate that. you hate it so much because it makes you fall deeper into the feelings you want to get rid of, it makes you like him even more. and it’s becoming harder for you, day by day, to avoid yourself from falling because he just knows how to get you. he knows what to say, he knows exactly what will make you go insane.

“i’ve been taking my time too much. i,” stuttering with your words, you’re still trying to continue. “i just don’t know how to tell you.”

you heard him hmm. “sure then while you’re doing your thing, can i tell you a story?” and you answered with a yes.

“remember when i used to wait for my ex until dismissal back in high school?”

irritated with the thought, “what about it?” you asked.

“that’s the first time i saw you, right?” you answered him with, “right.” because you were feeling pissed with the topic he chose.

“you were wearing your space bun that time and—” he was laughing!

“hey! that was high school, you don’t throw me like that.” you said while your brows are forming a frown which he cannot see.

“anyway, i just realized,” his voice sounds as if he’s still laughing with the thought of you wearing a space bun before so you shushed him. “if i’m gonna look back, or even up until today, maybe, i spend too much time waiting for someone when i’m in love,” and he just continued his story about how he come to realize how he falls in love.

while you’re there, listening to all of his stories, and obviously wanting to be the person he waits for, the person he wants to pursue and keep. suddenly the urge to yearn for his love became strong that you want to let him know what you wanted.

but just like always, no matter how eager you are or how confident you are before telling him, the feeling always finds a way to die down.

all the years of being friends and being there for each other, gone—that is exactly what you are afraid of. you are not just afraid of losing a friend, you fear losing heeseung more than anyone or anything else that you have in your life. and if having him by your side would mean not having more than a friendship, you’d rather choose that than risk chances.

“y/n,” he called.

but maybe you missed the part that heeseung is not the same as you. he’s bold, frank, and confrontational. he waits patiently and is very understanding but if he sees a glimpse of chance, he’d take it like a risk taker he’s always been.

maybe you also missed the possibility of having the same feelings as him, even though, in your eyes, there’s a slim chance for that to be true.

but it turned to be true.

“it’s alright if you don’t feel the same way. i promise to come over tomorrow to tell this to you again but it doesn’t sit right with me that i won’t be telling—”

“i like you, heeseung. ever since that day.”

[siwoline]

23:23 — [sjy.]

genre. fluff (angst if you squint or at first). pairing. gender neutral reader x enhypen jake. word count. 337 words. note. this is my first attempt to start writing a drabble (??). i just can’t get enough of jake after g-t japanese release. enjoy! <3

. ｡ * ♡ ` , *

it was getting late at night and you were busily editing a birthday wishlist in your laptop when you suddenly got interrupted by a notification box saying that someone is calling you.

your best friend, jake, has been bombarding you with messages and missed calls, making you worry because it seems like it is an emergency so you immediately answered the call and didn’t waste time to scroll up.

“jake? what’s the matter?” you asked worriedly.

“i don’t really understand this life,” you straightened up. “and why we’re all here,” because he said that with a monotone voice then a long pause. no response coming from you who is shocked because of what he’s saying.

“are you okay?”

you heard him hmm in agreement. “all i know is that,” then followed by a long pause, again.

“what is it? do you need me there now?” you didn't wait for his response and decided to stand up and hurriedly fix your desk, ready to leave. you then looked for your keys and pale blue hoodie, wore it, and went straight to the door.

jake lives near your pad, about 2 blocks away, because you have always wanted to be physically there for each other especially at times like this. if you go out now and start walking, you might arrive thirty minutes before midnight, and so you did.

when you locked your door and put your keys in your pockets, jake suddenly called your name, “y/n.”

“i’ll be there in a few. can you please wait for me?” you plead.

“y/n, when your hand’s in mine, the questions disappear.”

and that’s when it hit you. you turned around, squinting your eyes and looked straight at the man waving happily and standing behind your apartment’s gate.

it's jake. even if it's dark you know it's him and he's waving at you while his other hand is holding his phone.

“are you tripping?”

“i saw you tweet gnash’s feel better,” you saw him shrug his shoulders as if it’s obvious. “and decided to tell the lyrics to you because that’s how i feel when i’m with you.”

a long pause.

"you make me feel better, y/n.”

[siwoline]

enhypen & cigarettes

alternative title. en- hyung line as your vice as smokers and smoking buddy of y/n

note. to those who will come across this blog, a reminder that : this is fictional and in no way can be a reflection of any of the en- hyung line members. all these are based purely on my imaginations.

if i forgot something to note or warn, please don't hesitate to let me know because i'm new to blogging! also, hi:) <3

warnings. r-18, nsfw, mention of vices, cigarettes, alcohol, & sex terms or hints, minors dni

might post a drabble or a scenario idk yet TT TT

heeseung

occassional smoker

people are not even aware he smokes but he does Chain Smoke .

tries different cigs, definitely not picky

"hee, why can't you choose?"

but he knows he doesn't like relx or juul because when he tried jake's it's too sweet for his liking

roller lighters (the type who brings his own because you asked and his current favorite is a purple lit)

the type to smoke & fuck ?!

oversized black jacket with an army green shirt underneath (straight from the laundry he picked up this morning), house shorts, white crocs

hey. you up? :)

after a cig break and before you separate ways, i'll quit tomorrow

but a stick is his breakfast the next day 🤡

prefers to smoke beside the dim streetlamp at the end of your street

or in your apartment's rooftop

or just anywhere, with you

bonus ! [ r-18 ]

attractively smoking by the light post someone hold me

smokes when stressed

may it be from practicing, studying, work, or just life

or when horny

jay

THE strictly!relx or juul type

only smokes cig if with friends

marlboro ruby because he likes it with flavor but it's difficult to find so he resorted to blue even if it's too minty for his liking

thanks to sunghoon he now knows marlboro purple

wait for me there. i'll fetch you. type of friend just so you can smoke together

no concept of quitting

gray hoodie, white shorts, branded!crocs

prefers to smoke while drinking beer, could be at a bar or a chill night at your apartment

or anywhere coz he has a car .

bonus!

wiggles head to fix his hair while smoking yes definitely goin thru it

wiggles head because : he's holding a cup of coffee or a glass of beer on his cig-less hand

smokes only when invited

or frustrated because he lost from the game he spent half a day playing (you always receives the first invite)

never smokes alone

but there could definitely be exceptions

jake

tries not to be THE strictly!relx or juul type pt. 2

doesn't really smoke, he just likes to be with his friends

but he got used to it

and now he can't live without it

the type who would get excited to smoke at the no smoking area, with friends of course, because he simply likes the chase

you want more, y/n?

now has no concept of quitting and invites More Friends .

™: black shirt & cap (the back facing you as he asks you to please don't leave yet. :()

never smokes alone pt. 2

or he just doesn't tell you yet

bonus! [ r-18 ]

smokes when horny cmon

strikes his hair with his fingers as he puffs another one before looking at you intensely Type Of Attractive!Smoker .

the type to smoke & fuck pt. 2

scorpio

sunghoon

doesn't really smoke because he has told himself he's an athlete

maybe some puffs won't hurt?

liked it .

smokes alone

or with his friends (specifically jay or jake because they tell and not ask) sometimes

he just doesn't want to be caught up in a conversation while enjoying his only stick

the type to throw his cig after 5 puffs (it never reached the filter wth)

coughs while smoking

but he likes it what a masochist this man is

you want to share, y/n?

™: striped shirt or white hoodie

it has always been like that so you always know if he's coming

bonus! [ r-18 ? ]

smokes when frustrated from practice

doesn't know that he needs to pop the capsule of flavored cigarettes to taste the flavor jake and jay was talking about

gives up at smoking Every Single Time .

but willingly goes back because he Yearns for it

curious how to smoke & fuck

why