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depressive starvation instead of depressive binge ya fee me

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MY HEAD

Body Dismorphia: You are disgusting. Look at all that freaking fat and your short legs, ew.

Anorexia: Yeah, you should just stop eating and maybe you’ll look less like a bag of lard.

Binge Eating Disorder: But you can’t. You NEED food, it will make you feel better. EAT IT, EAT EVERYTHING!

Bulimia: You should have listened to Ana. Oh well, go throw it up now, ALL OF IT!

Anxiety: ITs too late, you’re going to gain it all back. Your friends will be embarrassed of you, even more than they are now. I bet they don’t even like you.

Paranoid Personality disorder: They’re right. Infact its probably all one big joke. Don’t trust them, they’re going to stab you in the back. Leave them before they can leave you.

Depression: This is all too much work, just stay in bed and do nothing.

Stress: You had so many things to do, so many things you wanted to do, you’re so far behind and you just slept in bed. 👏GOOD👏JOB👏🙄👏.

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the actual worst ED side effects i’ve experienced:

-feeling so nauseous I can’t even sit still or lay down

-having stomach burning, toe curling, eyes clenched indigestion every time I eat something even relatively “adventurous”

-throwing up every time I drink

-eating nothing and still being bloated like I’m 4 months pregnant

-paralysis in my arms and hands after throwing up

-the most agonizing foot cramps I didn’t even know existed

-only ever being either teeth-chatteringly-cold or sweating and burning up

-seeing little hairs on my face under my foundation

-vertigo that makes me want to cry

-the worst insomnia known to man

-skin that dries up and flakes when it’s freshly washed, but stays too oily when moisturized

-being unable to travel anywhere without weed because ana’s side effects are LITERALLY UNBEARABLE for me without it.

Share for those who need a reminder that this life isn’t just thigh gaps and iced coffees.

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I’ve been teetering between recovering and continuing to restrict. I want to get better because my mental health is shit but I don’t want to get better because I still have a lot of weight to lose. So today I’m giving into cravings and having a wide variety of foods just in really small amounts so I don’t binge on them later. I’m also getting back into the swing of metabolism boosting stuff which I’ve been pretty lax on lately. 1 cup green tea, 2 cups of water with ACV and lemon juice (through a straw so I don’t ruin my teeth), and these weight loss supplements I bought last year and found in the back of my cabinet yesterday. I gotta start doing this every day again. I also have a job where I stand for 4 hours a day and wait on customers so lately I’ve been doing laps around the stores to hit 10,000 steps each day. Saturdays are great because I work 8 hours and get close to 20,000 steps those days. Sadly I’ve made it a goal to hit 10,000 steps just so I’m allowed to eat that day. I wish I felt like I was worth a meal regardless of my activity and weight for the day.

I just want my mental health to be better but still want to lose weight quickly. I forgot how hard recovery is. I know it’ll be worth it but I just don’t think I’m ready yet.

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I want to be able to wear this socks😍

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So I have the second UTI I’ve had this month and I’m actually really excited because the antibiotics make me nauseous so I don’t eat much, and they make me hold onto water. So hopefully when I finish them, I’ll drop 3 lbs of water weight like I did last time😍

I just wanna break 160😭 my digestive system has been fucked all week and I’ve been super bloated so I’ve been bouncing between 161 and 164 all week. IM OVER IT

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me: has lost 25 pounds, has extremely unhealthy eating patterns, hates my body, compares myself to thinspo

also me: but do I really have an eating disorder

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can ppl stop asking me how i lost weight like i starve myself karen idk what you want me to say

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Wearing too small clothes to remind myself why I’m hungry

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Eating disorders are weird because one day you are afraid to eat a carrot and the next you eat an entire pint of ice cream

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For everyone’s information:

The plan for the 17th, when the adult content ban comes in, is to protest.

To do that, we are making as much noise either side of the 17th as possible, and using the site as normal.

On the 17th, dead silence.

People are saying log off but what they really mean is don’t open the site or the app.

But, on the 17th make as much noise as possible on every other platform. Tweet about it and post on facebook and instagram and everywhere else.

What this does is causes a massive dip in ad revenue for one single day. That does not make staff think ‘oh everyone’s gone let’s shut down.’ What it actually makes them think is ‘oh shit people aren’t happy and if people don’t keep using our site we’re out of money and out of jobs.’

A boycott reminds a company that the users (consumers) have the power to make their site (business) worthless with one single coordinated decision.

If you want to join in, here’s what to do:

Do:

Close all open instances of the app and site on all your devices before the 17th

Make posts before and after the 17th on tumblr and other platforms, talking about why this ban is bad

Make posts on other sites during the 17th. Flood the official tumblr staff twitter and facebook with your anger and your opinion

Come back on the 18th and check in

Don’t:

Delete the app from your phone (this doesn’t affect their revenue and since it’s off the store at the moment it’ll be hard to get back)

Delete your account. I mean you can if you want to, but if you keep your account and don’t use it you’re saying to staff that there’s still time to save it. If you delete it’s hard work to come back.

Open the app or website (including specific blogs)

Make any posts (turn down/off your queue and make sure nothing is scheduled)

Go quiet elsewhere. Make it clear that this is just about tumblr, not a mass move away from all social media.

Remember: the execs don’t care about anything but money. Shutting down the site means there’s $0 further income from it. That’s their last possible course of action. If we make it clear we’re not happy, they’ll have to do something or we can do more and more until it becomes too expensive.

Protests take commitment. They’re a defiant action against a business that is doing something wrong. They will try to scare you into not participating, because they’re scared. We hold all the power here, sometimes the execs just need to be reminded of that.

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I’ll be so skinny. So skinny. Just so ridiculously tiny, delicate, light. People will be shocked when they first meet me, everything will be too big on me, my friends will worry everytime they see me. People will be scared to hurt me, I’ll always have to sit on people laps when the car is full because “I’m so light”, but then the person will complain about my bones. I’ll be so, so small. So delicate. But so strong: I’ll be the strongest ever, I’ll fight. And everything will be good

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I’m 1.6 lbs away from my first goal weight. I’m pumped!

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This is t o o accurate for comfort dude

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I just want to tell someone