skyalei

[skyalei]

Finally posting this!!!

When drawing this i wanted to give Dazai new clothes but then when I was half way finished I realized it’s basically his clothes without the coat… I was like “… haha, it’s fine…” I also saw ep 11 AHHHHH

[skyalei]

not me in my flop era

[skyalei]

mikuuuuuuwuw778ikaañsjsis9w9

[skyalei]

:]

[skyalei]

orange juice i guess

[skyalei]

he still alive, I'm just being dramatic don't worry

[skyalei]

Some thoughts on Dazai & emotions

I think Dazai treats his own emotions in a way similar to how most people treat physical discomfort.

A lot of people seem to think that what disconnects him from humanity is that he doesn't experience emotions in the way most humans do. Even though that's true to an extent, because severe mental illness does do that, it's also clear that Dazai does have emotions, but most likely struggles to recognise them, and when he does, he doesn't really take them into account. His intellect runs so far ahead, that he must see his own emotions in the way that most people see disruptive physical sensations - something so far below our default "level of operation" that, even if we do undoubtedly experience it, it's not relevant to our self-definition. Sure, your leg can hurt while you walk, or you might occasionally get headaches, but you'd most likely consider it a nuisance rather than something that characterises your person. We can only assume this has been the case for a long time, probably ever since his mind first outsmarted his heart, so possibly his entire life. In Stormbringer, it's even stated that "nothing can survive his gaze, not even his own emotions".

Now, remember Dazai's self-admitted aversion to physical pain. We know that he hates pain, but this doesn't stop him from putting himself in physical peril, and even using himself as bait, if that's gonna help move his plans forward. When he does get hurt, he barely reacts at all, and at most just states that he is in pain. Pain is a nuisance he ignores, and we can assume that most of his emotions, if he was able to properly admit and experience them, would only cause him more pain, because his emotions are those of a severely depressed person, and even when he can feel some semblance of a positive emotion, he interprets is as something he'll inevitably lose. In any case, when it comes to either emotional or physical pain, the direct connection between the stimulus and his response seems to be missing - stating that one is in pain isn't the same as naturally responding to it. It's probably been missing for so long, that he doesn't even have to try much not to respond anymore, much like it wouldn't take much effort for a stomachache not to show on your face, if you kept getting stomachaches while having to work 12 hour shifts.

His time in the mafia, where he was encouraged to be rational at all times and lost his friend the one time he wasn't, could have only maximised this tendency of his. Even though he chose emotion over intellect when confronting Mori in Dark Era, he did lose Oda, and he doesn't want to have to go through that again. Plus, in the present, in order for the ADA to survive, he has to ignore anything other than his intellect, if he wants any chance at outsmarting Fyodor. There is no room for emotion right now, even if he wanted to be emotional, which he doesn't.

So, what seems to be the case is that Dazai is apathetic to his own emotions. They're in there somewhere, but remain unacknowledged, barely ever taken into account, unable to survive his brain.

[skyalei]

T_T

[skyalei]

☁️

[skyalei]

madoka 🌸💗

[skyalei]

<3

[skyalei]

☄️

[skyalei]

[old]

femluckity x lalaland

[skyalei]

The ideal and reality of a surprised face🫢

[skyalei]

HIIII HOLIII ^_^

[skyalei]

Rosca de reyes :]

[skyalei]

please don’t go.