skywriterjade - Tumblr blog

[skywriterjade]

-Recording begins-

Spider-Man: Hi folks! I’d like to give a PSA to my usual villains, and anyone else with ideas for the next two months.

Spider-Man: *holds up a brick sized lump of metal* See this? It’s titanium!

Spider-Man: *starts flattening it out and shaping it*

Spider-Man: See, we all know that I’m crazy strong, but I never wanna really hurt anybody right? Right. While that hasn’t changed, something very important does right around this time of year.

Spider-Man: *pulls off a glove and pulls a chunk into a long stem with his nails carving lines for added texture*

Spider-Man: See, this is what we like to call exam season. Anybody who knows anything about college can tell you that it drives people up the wall, and I already climb mine when I’m antsy.

Spider-Man: *starts winding the thin sheet around the stem, delicately crimping petals in place*

Spider-Man: I do wanna be clear that this isn’t a threat, okay? I’m still not interested in crossing the line, which brings me to my point.

Spider-Man: *throws the titanium rose at the brick wall behind him, stem first, and embeds it all the way through*

Spider-Man: /That/ was restrained because I could focus enough to have full control. If I’m extremely tired or otherwise distracted, there’s just as much risk of me slipping up as someone operating heavy machinery. I’m probably not going to remember what sleep is for two whole months, so remember!

Spider-Man: *pulls out a brick and snaps it like a cookie*

Peter fucking Parker: Don’t.

[skywriterjade]

FOUND family??? you think i just found them like this??? babes this is FORGED family. Me & the bros were scrap metal in a junkyard (very valuable, very sharp, very dangerous, uncared for) and we GOT IN THE FUCKING FIRE TOGETHER. WE did this. we said I AM NOT LEAVING YOU and melted into each other for better or for worse (it’s for better) and we are A FUNCTIONAL UNIT now. DO NOT SEPARATE. BATTERIES FUCKING INCLUDED. FOUND family my ass, we built this non-nuclear family unit from the ground up, don’t devalue this!!! it was is and will be a labour of love!!!

[skywriterjade]

Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.

[skywriterjade]

ok lets settle it. which laios is getting the best dick rn

[skywriterjade]

short comic about anon hate

 gentle reminder that I do my art for ME!! i am on nobody’s payroll and i have no obligations to cater to ANYONE!!! so fair warning: if you send me negative shit, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!! i ain’t got time for this bad energy. peace

[skywriterjade]

first post but can we just appreciate this, like how on earth did I draw this1?1??!

[skywriterjade]

Psst! Maybe doodle a Bruce and young Dick spotted by paparazzi!

Heartwarming! Bruce Wayne spotted walking with young ward Dick Grayson!

[skywriterjade]

Seeing a post that you know a mutual will like and reblogging it to add enrichment to their dash like giving a tiger in a zoo a cardboard box

[skywriterjade]

from left to right: clark, bruce, diana

[skywriterjade]

slowly getting out of art block... here's a quick tim drawing 🤒

[skywriterjade]

me: i wish i could turn off certain mobs. i’d love to play more survival mode but the spiders really upset me :(

my dad, the most stoic person in existence, LEAPING out of his chair with great concern: I AM NOW OBSESSED WITH THIS PROBLEM. I WILL PROCEED TO SPEND THE NEXT MONTH SCOURING THE INTERNET FOR NICHE MODS OR CONSOLE COMMANDS IN HOPES I CAN BRING YOU AND THE ENTIRE MINECRAFT PLAYERBASE PEACE.

my dad, a week later, more distraught than i’ve ever seen: brittany it’s awful. i’ve been googling around for solutions to your spider problem and lots of little kids have asked for help on the same issue and people online were Mean to them. i cannot type fast enough to stop all of them. this is a crisis right now

[skywriterjade]

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Adult Swim making an unholy amount of sense.

[skywriterjade]

Adult Swim making an unholy amount of sense.

[skywriterjade]

You're passing through Wonka's factory and through a doorway you see what is distinctly the body of Christ being fed into a big wacky machine

[skywriterjade]

by far the funniest mdzs ao3 tag i've come across