skzluvs

[skzluvs]

Ice.cream 🍦; Hwang Hyunjin, part 1

Genre: Idol! hyunjin Angst, fluff?, unrequited love

Warnings: none as in this chapter

Word count: 1.9k

A/n: This was supposed to be made into just one long fic but I was struggling while writing it so I decided to make it into a series, to, let me know what you think of it so far!

“melts in a flash i cant pull myself together”

Hyunjin fell, he fell deep, when he least expected it, he fell with her touch, with the pretty sound of her voice, but he fell even more with her indifference with the way she seemed not to care about anyone in the world but herself, where she preferred loneliness over being surrounded by a group of people who barely knew anything about her but her name. He fell with all the flaws that he masked into conformity.

Hyunjin moved in a crowd and sometimes even for him it was too much to handle, he had a lot of friends and people who was cautious of every movement he made, that's the price he had to pay for the fame, it was a "fair" exchange, his privacy for the admiration of millions. But he didn't regretted it or at least thats what he said as he tried to convince his own self. Maybe only at nights when the moon shined through his curtains and the silence of the room embraced the atmosphere thats when he, for at least a second would wish deep in his heart things would be a little different. Believe it when he says he was happy doing what he loved the most, surrounded by the people he loved, he got it all. But a sudden regret, he would find himself longing for something more, and he truly didn't know what that was.

But he hoped to find it soon enough. Because the guilt was eating him alive. Not being completely satisfied with his current life was probably the biggest sin he would've ever commit.

Hyunjin had a day off, clear schedule for the first time in months, after the back to back concerts and events, he and all of the members deserved some rest. But hyunjin didn't know how to rest, and probably that was due to his high paced life style, or to his personality, maybe a little bit of both. So he though about all the things he wanted to do today, and none of them were staying home.

He had been wanting to go expand his literary horizons, nowadays he had found himself devouring multiple books, he found them so comforting. The way they travel him to different places. In every word and in every flip of a page his emotions overflowed.

The weather was perfect a bright sunny day, so he thought his plan on taking himself on a date wasn't too bad of an idea after all. Bookstore, coffee shop and walking the streets of Seoul with his headphones on, blasting his favorite tunes, he was ecstatic. Deciding not to waste anymore of his precious time he decided to leave right away.

"hey Felix im going out" he said to the boy who was immersed into his computer, too focus on his video game to pay attention to him.

"Have fun" he said goodbye without taking his eyes off the screen "damn it why is this domain so hard to clear off" he yelled to himself in frustration and hyunjin just laughed at his antics.

Hyunjin made sure to grab his bag with all his essentials, his wallet, his headphones and his charger. He put on his shoes at the door and closed it behind him as he was leaving the dorm.

Hyunjin walked the busy streets listening to some of his favorites songs, enjoying the warmth of a sunny summer day. Hyunjin wasn't specially fond of summer, he preferred the winter but lately he had began to fall in love with the memories summers had brought to him, and therefore with the season itself.

Once he arrived to the bookstore, it was an old bookstore, he could probably smell the rusty pages emanating from the inside all the way through the entrance and he couldn't contain his excitement any longer , scrutinizing the shelves, staring at every cover without missing each of the titles that were being displayed. Hyunjin was astonished at the extend variety of genres. He carefully took his time reading some of the synopsis and a couple first pages of some of the books that had caught his eye. The hours inside that bookstore felt like seconds to him. He was too immersed on this volume to not pay attention to the girl that was trying to talk to him. Her voice wasn’t uncertain it was cold and direct.

"hey, excuse me?"

Those words brought hyunjin from the vulnerable state he was in back to reality, and he would be lying if he didn't hoped that voice wasn't calling for him. He knew exacty what came next probably the usual, are you hyunjin from stray kids? And no he didn't mind meeting his fans outside schedules at all, actually he loved and appreciated them a lot, but today he wished for little peace. And maybe he hated himself a little bit more due to those thoughts.

His eyes went slowly from the page to the figure standing in front of him. Her gaze was piercing his soul, a strong aura that filled up the room, her clothes were nothing out of the ordinary but somehow they made her stand out a lot. She looked like those type of people who leave a strong impression. She probably felt uncomfortable by the way hyunjin was just standing there book in hand examining her like some sort of specimen. So she decided to speak again.

"Are you planning of buying that book" she asked with no hesitation pointing at his hands, that unconsciously were gripping at the hard cover tightly.

He was incredibly confused, but exhaled in relief at the fact the girl wasn't here for an autograph nor a photo she just wanted the book. And hyunjin laughed a little bit inside, thinking how silly it was for him to think so highly of himself at moments like this. Of course not everyone cares about you hwang hyunjin he said to himself.

"I'm not sure yet i was giving it a read as i was considering it" he replied calmly.

"I'm kinda in a rush and honestly i came all the way here just for that book, so trust me when i say im not leaving without it" she firmly stated, furrowing her brows slightly. He assumed it was probably the only edition left, since it looked like and out of print.

Hyunjin thought the situation was slightly amusing, because it was just a book, and the girl was throwing a ruckus as if she would die because of it. But as much as his curiosity irked him, he couldn't argue with her for multiple reasons, the most obvious one is that if he wanted to continue his day off in peace he couldn't attract unnecessary attention to himself, and second he didn't knew much about the book so he couldn't judge her urgency so he just decided to let go of it and hand it carefully to the girl who seemed to try her best to contain her last straw of patience as she waited.

She grabbed it and walked away from him, not even a thank you, nor a glance, she directed her tracks straight to the counter, and as she paid for the book, hyunjin continued to observe her from the other side of the room, where his body hadn't moved an inch.

He didn’t know what made him so intrigued, most likely the girl’s particular way of acting, something completely different to the reactions he was used to getting from people. Something about that indifference made him wonder for a second if he just looked like an ordinary boy to her. Which made him relived because he could carry on his day as he had planned.

After browsing through the aisles for a little longer, hyunjin bought few books and made his way to the cafe. The place was rather cozy with a warming atmosphere the decorations were rustic but very on trend, there was a mixture of fake and real plants all around the establishment which made it really peaceful. Hyunjin ordered his usual ice americano paired up with a chocolate croffle, the perfect bittersweet combination. He sat close to the window and made himself comfortable as he took a sip from his drink and opened one of the books he had just picked up earlier.

The evening went by as hyunjin immersed himself in the delight of his dessert and the word of “someone who will love you in all your damaged glory” the hours went by so fast that he didn’t realize that it had started raining outside. And not the usual drizzle it was absolutely pouring, as if the sky was falling the thunderstorm grew bigger by every second.

Despite liking the rain the situation itself was pretty bad news to him.

Hyunjin panicked, he had to go home now and to make it even worse he hadn’t even brought an umbrella with him that day because the weather was perfect, until now, of course. He didn’t know what to do. Should he call Chan and tell him he was stuck in the city? or should he try to run to make it to the bus stop. He chose the later because he truly didn’t want to bother his members on their day off. It wasn’t something that was granted to them very often, he knew they deserved to rest. Hyunjin had brought this upon himself, he had to fix this himself.

As soon as he exited the shop he met the storm, the water drops showering him from the top of his cap to the bottom of his sneakers. He ran as fast as he could trying to cover himself with his bag. Once he made it safely to the bus stop he was already drench. He boarded the bus and hoped to dry himself as soon as he arrived home.

He got home safely, as he heard the nagging of his members for staying out too late, they were worried about him. And as for his dripping state, they made him wipe the floor. Hyunjin took a warm bath and changed into comfy clothes. Laid in bed as fell into a deep slumber. It had been an interesting but eventful day, he was exhausted.

Hyunjin was standing in a alleyway and his vision was impaired by the darkness, as he tried to make this way out of that place, the sorrowful cries of someone startled him he followed the cries all the way to the end and there was no exit because he had reached a dead end. And suddenly a small light appeared straight ahead where he thought he had reached the blocked wall. So he kept walking as the light grew bigger to the source. The light emanated from a silver lighter that opened and closed, half a cigarette and the girl who held it in between her lips as she continued to manipulate the lighter with her fingers, as hyunjin approached her, everything became clearer. The details on her face, the dry tears on her cheeks, the lines in her forehead from frowning, the sickening smell from the burning cigarette and the defeated look in her eyes. The sight was devastating and hyunjin couldn’t pinpoint the feeling in that moment, it was like his heart was being ripped out. The girl who’s name he didn’t know yet looked so broken in front of him, a total opposite from the first impression he had gotten out her at the library. Hyunjin tried to get closer to hold her but as he tried to grab her hand to ask her what was troubling her the figure disappeared before his eyes, like a magic trick she was long gone. Vanishing into thin air.

“You cant grasp onto something that doesn’t exist”

[skzluvs]

Phobia; Han jisung

Genre: angst, fluff (if you squint)

Warnings: mention of nightmares

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: Hi! I’m back from my hiatus with another angst fic inspired by the drama it’s okay to not be okay combined with a little bit of phobia I hope you guys like it!

The girl who fed on nightmares

there was a girl who woke up every night by the nightmares, demons that haunted her dreams. She was twisted inside, held back by the painful memories of her past.

panting breath, irregular heartbeat, a cold sweat dripping from her forehand. she opened her eyes to meet with the darkness of her room. Terror washed over her. frightened.

"it's just another nightmare" she said trying to calm down the thoughts that were messing up her already deranged head.

a familiar setup, you might think she grew accustomed to the feeling after the third night but that's was not true the lingering feeling of numbness grew by the time she realized there was no escape from the chains that still cuffed her up.

the morning came earlier, with very few hours of sleep, she got up and got ready for work. the days turned into a monotone.

she arrived to bookstore, pure silence made her mind feel content. A moment of peace in the torrential rain.

"excuse me" a soft voice called her, almost as quiet as a whisper that's being shared between lovers.

she looked up to meet with a boy, with black hair and a mischievous smile, he looked cheerful with an undeniable strong aura that surrounded his slender figure, definitely not the type you would see in a library at 8am in the morning.

"yes" she replied politely to the boy who carried a handful on books on his arms.

"i want to check all of these out please" he placed the books on the counter.

As she took a look at the pile, she got intrigued by the peculiar selection.

children books.

but not the kind that you read to a child unless you want them to have nightmares, and she knew damn well about that.

"you like this gruesome stuff ?" she was never the kind to question other people's interests but for some strange motive she wanted to know.

" it's a children's book how can you call this masterpiece gruesome" the boy seemed rather offended by her words.

" the pictures make me want to cry my eyes out and I'm an adult, there's no way this book was targeted for such audience" she said

" it seems like you know nothing about this books not the author , therefore I won't be engaging in a discussion, you can continue to be ignorant later just let me borrow them so I can go" he said annoyed, taping with his finger on top of the dusty cover.

The girl refused to give out response and rather continued to do her job. she sure didn't get paid enough for that.

"here" she said handing him the books along with the returning slip. "you have 2 weeks to return them unless you want more time come before the deadline to extend the borrowing period"

"thank you" he left not sparing to look at her for the last time before exiting through the door.

the browned eyed boy who just happened to be named han jisung, she found out his name through his library card. Was all she could think about, not because she was interested, but because of the of his actions. Usually she evaded social situations, she found people not worth of her time, but there was something about that boy that made her wanted to crush him like a fragile butterfly with broken wings.

another meaningless night, it was tiring to get emptied out like that. Every time she closed her fears shaped into a reality. she was stuck with the phobia.

days passed by, a body that walks through the streets without a soul. There was nothing she wanted nothing she desired more but to fall asleep. So she lived her life longing for that moment.

going through the bookshelves placing them correctly by alphabetical order. A pair of eyes stuck to the back of her head.

a boy who watched her carefully from the other side of the room, and he probably thought he was being precautious, but she knew she was being observed.

Jisung. Who came everyday just to sit as far back from the main entrance as possible, hiding in a corner reading the books he so much loved. After the first encounter with the girl he could no longer sleep the same way. His thoughts circled around her small frame and the sound of her broken voice.

there was this thing about her, he called it despondency and he was drowned right into it. like the tales had taken over a human form.

by the end of the two weeks he stood there fidgeting, over the course of the last couple of days his little instigating got him nowhere. She repeated a daily routine, there was nothing to analyze in her vague movements and worn out expressions. However he knew she hides more than the human eye can perceive behind that weary facade.

The moment she clocked out he followed her outside.

"why are you following me" the girl stopped her tracks and made a spin over her ankles, just to meet with him.

"I needed to ask you something" He said rather shy. all the courage he build up over the weeks disappearing at the strong gaze that confronted him.

"I'm not obligated to respond, do me a favor and get lost" She turned around and continued to walk.

It was an expected reply exactly what made jisung decide it was better to come up with a different plan.

every day he would put a book of his collection on top of her desk hoping she would get interested enough to read it.

but instead she would just eye the cover and place it back to its shelf.

Not until one day she meet to something different, the book had a folded edge, opening the page carefully, her fingers ghosting over the words printed on the glossy paper.

"bad memories from the past that he wanted to erase from his head"

"were replayed in his dreams every night"

"and haunted him nonstop"

"the boy was terrified of falling asleep"

a creeping feeling went down her spine, and her trembling hands made the book fall. Her own monsters greeted her with a grin. Collapsing with the wooden floor.

jisung got petrified by the loud sound. He hurried his way to find the girl unconscious on the ground. it was all his fault.

a disturbing sound came from her mouth. She woke up in an oddly unfamiliar house. Her body covered by a thin blanket, the walls were closing like the screams that got caught up in her throat.

jisung who was downstairs making dinner ran through the stairs and opened the door alarmed at the high pitched noises.

"Are you okay?" He exclaimed trying to recover his breath.

"what am I doing here? where am i ?" she asked not trying to panic even more. She felt so dizzy the room kept on spinning.

"you're at my house, you passed out at the library" He said scratching the nape of his neck with guiltiness.

"I remember now, this was your deed, you and your stupid nauseating books" by the looks of it she had been gone for a while. Not to mention the longer she was in a slumber the longer the suffering.

"not my fault you got scared by a book for 5 year olds" He said shrugging, with an unprovoked expression.

"And you dared to call me an ignorant" she deadpanned.

"Do you fear anything?" He asked out of the blue.

what is the real meaning behind fear?. Fear is tangible. Is the anxiety, the desperation to run away and hide forever where they can't find you, it means to want to stab your eyes with a safety pin to blind the pain. Is the captivity of oneself.

"You're scared of yourself aren't you?" it no longer sounded like a question but more like an affirmation.

he had figured you out in no time. You couldn't let them see the vulnerable side, not to anyone and most definitely not this stranger.

"You said it yourself you know nothing so leave alone before it's too late" She threatened.

"Anyways I'm sorry for being so persistent, never intended to make you feel uncomfortable, I'll be downstairs if you need me, dinner is ready if you want to come and have something to eat before you leave" He knew it was better not to push it if he wanted answers.

But why was he so desperate to understand the world inside her head ?

Jisung felt the loneliness of her being. He came up to the conclusion that he wanted to be the person who brought the girl back to life.

After some time he grew a step closer to her, not to the point she would stop pushing him away but at least his efforts had made a very insignificant change.

She would let him read the books to her once in a while, she fed into the words, relating to every single one of them. But things were still the same at night, she would break down to the horrifying sight.

"Jisung why are you still here ?" she asked him unable to understand why the boy remained by her side even when she treated him like a piece of trash.

"Because im trapped under your spell" he confessed.

"You’re e going to end up in so much pain" she said looking into his eyes.

"You can't go to heaven before crossing the flames of hell" He responded with certainty. “ and If I have to burn I rather do it while still holding you”

"Would you still like me if you knew the kind of monster I am, not the one you read in books but the kind that hides behind a mask and transforms at night"

" I would still like you if you were the devil himself"

" The devil wont tear your soul apart like I would trust me" She knew she would drive him into despair. But she had warned him multiple times, from here she no longer take accountability, he would meet fear. She would make sure of that.

I'm stuck with the phobia although I want to stay with you I'm scared that you might disappear in between the shadows. How can I hold you when I was made to destroy you.

there was a girl whose world was a pitch black hole and her insides were dark and twisted, and a boy who fell in love with her repulsiveness swore to never leave her, but her darkness overshadowed the fugacious happiness of a spur moment and the voices in her head claimed that she was all alone. but the boy sang to her a lullaby that lulled her into a deep sleep and for the first time in forever there were no painful memories in her dreams.

She was the girl who fed on nightmares. The one he once read about and the one he was now holding on his arms.

[skzluvs]

JOSIE IS MAKING ME CRY

[10:47p.m.] kiss for a bet + hurt feelings | hwang hyunjin

warnings: light making out, hyunjin’s kinda a douche here :(

requested: yes!

a/n: maybe a pt 2 if anyone wants it? 

There was a reason why you hated parties.

Actually, there were a lot more than one. First of all, they were technically illegal, but that never stopped your friend group from going, and as a result, that never stopped them from dragging you along for the ride. You also hated loud noises, and parties were all screaming, saturated music playing from poor quality speakers, and more screaming. 

Things also tended to get complicated at parties. 

It was hardly a special occasion, a typical Friday in which your extroverted friends decided to drag your introverted ass out of your bedroom so you could ‘live a little.’ This time, Felix and Seungmin had decided to crash a nearby frat party, and you honestly didn’t care enough to say no. 

When the three of you arrived, it became crystal clear that Seungmin and Felix were not the only ones with the idea to sneak into this party, because at the cup pong table stood the familiar faces of Changbin, Hyunjin and Jisung, all of whom also happened to attend your high school. The six of you had grown up together in the same neighborhood, so you spared them brief waves before disappearing to grab some drinks and sit in a corner of the house. 

“That was a very curt greeting, Y/N,” Felix commented as he gulped down his beer, “Trouble in paradise with your Hyunjinie?”

Keep reading

[skzluvs]

Tagged by: @scxrlettwxtches <3

rules: create a cute icon of yourself using this!

tagged by: @hanstagrams (thank you Sammie)

tagging: @zimzalabinnie, @soft-black-teabag, @baby-bumblebean, @moon-xxx-child

[skzluvs]

Wayo; Han Jisung

Genre: Angst

Warnings: None

Word count: 654

A/n: Lyrics drabble inspired by bang yedam’s solo “WAYO”

-“Jisung...”- You called the boy that sat in front of you. Close as strangers. He lifted up his gaze from his phone as he gave you one disapproving look, before disappearing into the shadows.

-“I told you to stop being so clingy, you’re suffocating me, just leave me alone!!!”- He raised his voice in desperation. Trapped into a tramp without escape.

It was 3 am, you sat there on the wooden floor of an empty room, it was cold as the atmosphere weighed down heavy on your shoulders. But it felt like that since the day he left.

- “I’m not making excuses anymore, I’m tired, being with you is exhausting”- He looked at you with not a single trace of remorse. You felt the world crumble around you with each word he spoke.

The sound of the clock ticking but it seemed as the time had stopped in that exact moment. The memories replay themselves like a sad movie in front of your eyes.

-“Jisung give me another chance, I’ll try harder, I want to be the best for you please just stay one more night by side”- Behind the incomprehensible mumbles, with the rest of your dignity, you were betting everything to save this relationship.

What were you looking for? You should’ve told me exactly, cause as in today I’m still not able to comprehend.

I’m so pitiful, another night has passed and you’re not here I feel like I’ve lost it all.

- “I cant do this any longer, you’re drowning me and I’ll make sure to stay afloat even if it means without you”- He packed all his bags. You watched him from behind. The room was noisy, a mixture of cursing and uncontrollable sobbing. But if he was to close his eyes and listen for a moment, he would’ve been able to hear your heart break into pieces, crashing into your chest and cutting your flesh skin.

But he didn’t... he walked out of your life, leaving the wound open for you to rub every time you missed his smile.

You were only able to endure all the pain cause he was by your side but now you felt your lungs running low on oxygen. He passed by, a train with no return.

It’s been weeks but why can’t I go on without you?

Why? Why? Why? I can’t help but wonder all these questions at night when I’m craving for your warmth.

Why when I loved you the most you slipped through my fingers.

You stare at the cealing asking above if this love was even real? if he loved you at least half as much as you did.

But even if he didn’t it was worth it because he was your first love, the one you handed your heart on a silver plate for, and the one that took the easy way when things started to go wrong.

It was a hot summer day, the fresh air brushing against your face softly. The first time out of the house in a long time. Trying to forget but it’s impossible when the memory is impregnated to your brain as an expensive bottle of perfume with an strong fragrance that doesn’t seem to fade no matter how hard you try.

And then as a casualty, one that destiny decided to play on you, laughing at your face. You saw him, with brown hair and light highlights, looking as radiant as ever, cracking jokes on his teammates.

You wanted to run to him and ask him if he would come back to you even, a confirmation even if it was a lie. just wanting to fantasize.

Why can’t it be us?

It’s always been about him, selfishness you finally realized there was never “Us” to begin with.

A love constructed over a sand castle, it was blown away by the slightest breeze. Unstable and inexperienced.

It’ s time to say goodbye.

Bye Han jisung my first and last love.

just tell me can’t I go if it’s not you???

[skzluvs]

##leeknow details!

@like/reblog if you use/save!

[skzluvs]

Anagapesis; Bang Chan

Genre: Lots of Angst! Slice of life!

Warnings: none

Word count: +1K

A/N: Been on hiatus for a while I’m slowly starting to write again so hopefully you like this, thanks for being patient with me. Love you and stay safe!

Anagapesis dictionary definition: anagapesis n. loss of feelings for someone who was formerly loved ; falling out of love. From Greek: an = without ; agape = love.

She became dependent to someone who couldn't reciprocate her love.

It's easy to fall in love but hard to let go when you had fallen out it.

He caressed your cheek softly, drawing circles on your skin. You stared at his eyes, deep pools darker than the night, there were no stars lightning his gaze.

There was no spark. No flame

You no longer loved him and neither did he love you. But if you shared such a mutual feeling why where you still here? Sharing affection like it was real.

Was it easier to pretend than admitting that all you had build had been blown away by the wind ? Like a dusty memory in the back of your head, you can't actually remember the last time you actually meant to say "I love you"

And it's role play more convenient.

A never ending circle. Vicious

And then you sat there at a table on a fancy restaurant, and your friends looked at you expectedly.

When the curtains fall, it's show time.

He holds your hand over the table and places a kiss on your temples, you smile at his actions; like they actually make you feel something inside.

But it's just fiction because your pulse doesn't even accelerate with the proximity of your partner.

And they whisper how lucky the both of you are; to had found your other half.

Only if they knew that night he went to sleep on the couch, cause the bed had became uncomfortable, lately.

And you didn't mind at all; nonetheless it was sad.

That you were living on this fabricated illusion, because you keep on reminding yourself.... that one day you actually loved him.

One day all those kisses and meaningful words meant everything to you, so you hold onto that, on the past, on what it was but never could've been.

It was past 3:00 am and you couldn't sleep. Tossing and turning on your side of the bed; even if he wasn't there anymore it was like his ghost still slept next to you. Thoughts clouding your mind, keeping you awake all night.

You sat at edge, turning on the lamp that instantly illuminated the cold room. Focusing on the picture that resides on top of your nightstand. You held it on your hands.

It was taken the day of your first anniversary. He was holding you in front of the bonfire as he placed a roasted marshmallow on your mouth, you were smiling with such indescribable joy. It was not the fire that made you feel suddenly warm, it was reminiscing.

You remember perfectly, even the smallest detail of that day. It was your first year together and you had to celebrate it. But he knew you were no ordinary girl, a simple romantic dinner wouldn't do. So he took you camping.

Because what's more romantic than sleeping with mosquitos on the middle or nowhere?

He truly believed it was the greatest plan he had ever came up with. You had to recognize he was thoughtful for trying to do something different.

He even try to build the tent, you stood there, just staring at him, freezing because he didn't even told you were spending your anniversary on a desolated forest, that seemed to be out of a horror movie.

But as he saw you struggling while trying to raise your body temperature he came up with another of his so called brilliant ideas ( he was so full of them). To make an old fashion heater.

When the fire started to grow on the dry branches he had placed on the floor, you jumped in excitement, kissing your boyfriend for being able to do it all.

And that's how the night went by under the open sky where the stars shine and the pale moonlight reflects over his face, defining every detail, he was even more beautiful up close. In that moment nothing mattered because love was youthful and earnestly.

You looked back at that point in your life where your relationship felt real. Where it was almost tangible. But that emotion slipped right through your fingers throughout the years.

It grew tired until it break and now all you were left was with the broken pieces of your first love.

The one who sleeps on the living room and doesn’t kiss you goodnight.

He saves them for the audience.

The public displays of affection where strictly, just that, only visible when someone else was looking.

But behind closed doors there was absolutely nothing, no need to keep an appearance. You barely held a conversation with him. There was no interest. No need to talk when your actions already said it all.

It was getting exhausting, to live on a house full of memories. The ones you held on for so long. But you grew used to it, to see him leave early in the morning before you wake up, to fall asleep alone and wake up the same way on an empty bed.

At the beginning it was hard, Seeing how your relationship became nothing but a mere routine.

you stopped crying at night the day you realized that it was partially your fault, because you stopped loving him halfway. You started to feel helpless.

And you couldn’t live like this anymore. It was suffocating. You took a quick glance at the picture and turned it upside down, placing it back next to the lamp.

A sudden adrenaline rush traveled through your body. It called for a change.

You grabbed a suitcase and threw most of your belongings inside. Running from one side to the bedroom to the other trying to gather as many as many things as you could fit inside your bags.

Once the were packed you silently made your way to the living room.

He was there sleeping peacefully, for a moment you thought it was cute; how he was snoring, his mouth slightly open and his messy blond hair all over the place, falling on his forehead.

He was probably the best thing that could’ve ever happened to you, but good things don’t last, they tend to be ephemeral.

You got to spend the best years of your life next to the man of your dreams, and you don’t regret any of it. But love is like a match, once it lights up it wraps you in a warm embrace as it slowly runs out leaving you in the dark again. Slowly consuming itself as it grows cold leaving nothing but cloudy smoke.

You’ll continue to treasure those beautiful moments when he was still by your side. It’s time to let go now.

Your boyfriend... it sounds bitter to call him that, the person laying on the couch was a nothing but a stranger to you. Somebody that you used to know, or at least you thought you did.

You got closed to him and placed one last kiss on his cheek. One last time before you leave all of this lie behind.

“Chan... one day I loved you” you whispered, your lips vibrating against his.

Unfortunately I don’t do anymore.

Ripping out the bandaid you used to cover up the wounds.

[skzluvs]

{ minho x 바보라도 알아 ; stray kids }

requested by @pinkchcn

[skzluvs]

𝗁𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝗁𝗒𝗎𝗇𝗃𝗂𝗇 𝗂𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌

𝖽𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖼𝗈𝗉𝗒 𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍

𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝖺𝗏𝖾

[skzluvs]

nobody compares to you | hwang hyunjin

Genre: fluff, slight angst, friends to enemies to lovers (yeah, crazy right?)

Warnings: none, slight swearing

Word Count: ~7.0k

Description: You loved your dance captain, you swear you did, but why he consistently paired you with Hwang Hyunjin was something you’d never understand, especially since all the two of you ever did was dance, fight, and then do it all over again. 

A/N: yes, i wrote another long ass fic about how much i love hyunjin. don’t kill me. in all seriousness, one of the scenes in this story is probably one of my favorite scenes of all time, paired with a song i’ve been obsessed with recently. hope y’all enjoy! thanks again for 600 followers! <3 love y’all!

Keep reading

[skzluvs]

Han Jisung (feat the rest of 3racha) x Sunshine lyrics

Feel free to use any of these as icons just reblog if you do please!

[skzluvs]

˚* ੈ✩‧₊ 做我自己 *･ﾟ

↳ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵒʳ ʳᵉᵇˡᵒᵍ ⁱᶠ ˢᵃᵛᵉᵈ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ⁽´꒳`∗⁾

[skzluvs]

it's amazing how he can be so attractive wearing only black shirt and mask 😷

[skzluvs]

[airport fashion pt.2]

[skzluvs]

Piece of cake 🎂; Yang Jeongin

Genre: Fluff! Friends to lovers au!

Warnings: mild swearing

Word count: 2.8k

A/N: Happy Birthday to our cute maknae Innie, he has grown so much. I’m beyond proud of him, he’s such a beautiful soul I wish nothing but happiness for him. I’m so soft for this boy I’m legit crying.

You were all gathered in the living room.

The four boys standing in front of you staring at each other with confused looks. There was a moment of silence before you snapped at them in annoyance. There was no way they could be any more stupid.

"Do I really have to explained it to you again you doofuses" You raised an eyebrow in disbelief at the sight of the obvious lack of understanding your friends had. Seungmin just moved his hands encouraging you to repeat the plan one more time. You took a deep breath, before continuing, "For the last time, Hyunjin is in charge of distracting jeongin, until we finish decorating" The boy nodded in agreement, he understood his role was probably the most important one, " Felix I need your lungs to blow those balloons" You pointed at the table covered with bags with deflated balloons. "Seungmin and I are in charge of baking the cake" He smiled in excitement. " And I think that's it, simple right, it's a piece of cake"

Someone cleared his throat behind you, clearly irritated at the fact that you didn't assigned him an important task like the others.

" What about me Y/N, what am I supposed to do" He said pouting.

" Jisung you have the most important part" You said reassuring.

" Which is?" He asked euphoric. Clapping his hands.

" Stay here and make sure to not open your huge ass mouth, I promise your contribution is the most helpful one" You said smiling sarcastically. " If anyone dares to ruin this surprise I swear for my life I'll haunt every single one of you in your sleep for the rest of your miserable lives, and you would see what's to live a nightmare with your eyes open, understood" A few scared whispers and some sighs at the end they all came to agreement. Working together as a team to give the youngest, undeniably the best surprise party, needless to say this was carefully planned by you over the course of the last few weeks.

Everyone left, not before settling that Hyunjin would come back exactly at 6 with Jeongin, therefore everything had to be ready before that.

You got into Seungmin's car, he turned on the radio, letting you choose the next song, you both sang along to Taeyon's spark, on the way to the supermarket.

" Get a shopping cart we need to pick up a few things" You said to him, as you entered the local market. Pulling up a list from your bag with all the items needed.

He got the cart and followed you behind like a puppy, through the aisles, helping you pick now and then when you were torn between certain brands.

"So should we make it a chocolate cake or a vanilla cake?" You asked him staring at the two boxes in each one of your hands.

" That's such a simple question Y/N, Chocolate superior" He said looking at you obvious.

"Alright, alright Chef Seungmin let's do chocolate" You said throwing the box into the cart. " Ohhh" you exclaimed fascinated. "We have to get this" You pointed, jumping in the excitement at the cute cake toppers. "Jeongin is going to love the tiny fox sprinkles" You smiled at the resemblance between your best friend and the furry animal.

" You are so whipped Y/N" Seungmin said teasingly.

"Shut up, he's like a little brother to me" You stared at your shoes trying to hide the blush creeping into your soft cheeks.

"Not so little, remember he literally just became an adult today" Seungmin was right. Jeongin was just a year younger than the rest of you, that's why your group tended to baby him the most, and he hated it so much. Now that he was all grown up you wondered if his attitude would change towards your antics.

Once you finished shopping. Seungmin and you went back to the house. You got the groceries from the trunk carrying all the bags, with your hands full, you struggled finding the key to open the door.

"Call Jisung and tell him to move his lazy ass from the couch so he can come and help us" 

You heard him comply through the phone but in less than a second the door opened revealing your friend who still looked half asleep.

" Don't stare just stare at me, help me carry these" You said handing him the heavy bags that were already leaving bruises on your wrists.

"Did you guys went to buy cake ingredients or the whole grocery store" He said complaining at the amount of things you got.

" I got a little carried away okay" You confessed taking your shoes off at the door and walking straight to the kitchen.

Seungmin got ingredients from the bags and laid them on top of the kitchen table. You got the molds and the mixer from one of the cabinets, and tied your apron from your waist.

"Crack two eggs" You signaled Seungmin, as you poured the batter into the mixing bowl.

You were spraying the molds with butter so Seungmin could pour the batter and it wouldn't stick to the bottom once the cake was completely cooked. When your phone in your back pocket began to vibrate. You decided to ignore it, since you were extremely focused on your task. But after a couple of more rings you couldn't bear with the annoying sound any longer.

You picked up right away. Not before telling Seungmin to put the molds inside the oven.

"Hyunjin why are you fucking calling me right now " you leaned over the counter trying to wipe off your apron that was covered on white flour and sugar.

"He's been sulking all day Y/N, I even took him to the amusement park but he seems so down is actually depressing, He literally just said to me "This would actually be fun if Y/N would've come with me and not you" I'm deeply hurt, never imagined he thought of me as your replacement" He sighed dramatically.

" Just deal with it, you can have another of your existential crisis later" You rolled your eyes at your dramatic friend.

"Can you at least call him? he's just acting so weird, he just told me he wants to come home I don't know what to do" He whispered nervously.

"I'm trying to bake a cake hyunjin I can't give him a call right now" You said clearly. " But you are talking to me right now and the cake doesn't seem to be stopping you from doing it" He backfired.

" Ugh you are so annoying, maybe I can't call him because I'm busy and my hands and covered in flour and, Seungmin Lower down the temperature I can smell something burning!!!" You yelled. "I don't know hyunjin, keep him occupied, after all is your job, you better not come any earlier than we accorded. I’m warning you, I got to go" you said ending the call abruptly. Rushing rapidly to the oven where smoke was starting to escape from the sides of it.

" Fuck Y/N I think we burned the cake" Seungmin said panicking.

"Oh you think so" You responded sarcastically. Trying to extinguish the smoke before the alarm went on.

You opened the oven only to see your chocolate cake, all spilled, dark carbon colored batter dripping from the mold.

" Why you said we would bake the cake, if you had never done it before, don't just blame it on me!" He yelled back at you.

"Maybe I just wanted to do something nice for my fucking best friend, Seungmin"  You replied infuriated at the boy's words.

You walked away trying to not lose your calm "everything it's okay Y/N just take a deep breath" you whispered to yourself.

Your three friends standing in front of you not wanting to say anything, terrified to even move an inch knowing you could break down at any moment.

" Felix those balloons are not going to blow themselves!" You exclaimed.

" You ate the snacks I left on the table, didn't you, I told you earlier those were for later" You pointed at Jisung who only raised his hands innocently.

You were frustrated to say the least, overwhelmed,

Tired, you wanted to cry, the perfect party for your best friend was a complete utter disaster. You looked at the clock half an hour until Hyunjin brings jeongin back. You stepped out of to house because you began to feel suffocated. You needed some air. In desperation you remembered the person who was always one call away.

You dialed the number hoping he would pick up the phone, he was always busy working on his studio, so you didn't actually expected for him to pick up after the first tone, you were surprised when he did.

"Hey Baby girl"

"Chan" You whined at him.

" What's wrong?" He asked concerned.

" I need your help" You said.

" I'm all ears" He laughed softly. Chan was your supportive friend. He took care of you since he was older, he was always there when you needed him.

You ranted the catastrophe of your failing attempt of birthday party.

" Can you please bring me a cute cake? Jeongin might be on his way and I can't let him have a burned piece of uncooked batter for his birthday" You asked, hoping not to disturb him too much, knowing how busy he was most of the time working on his new tracks.

" Sure thing baby girl, I was heading out either way, I can't come empty handed" He said and you sighed in relief feeling like that heavy weight was lifted from your shoulders.

" You are the best Channie, I'll see you in a bit" You said your goodbyes and ended the call, you were extremely grateful towards him.

You opened the door entering the house. Your friends gathered looking at you with concerned expressions. The three of them instantly running towards you, the minute you crossed the doorstep, wrapping you in a group hug.

" We are sorry Y/N" They said unison.

"We know you've been under so much stress trying to make everything perfect" Seungmin said apologetic.

"And your stupid friends have ruined it all" Felix added teary eyed.

" We'll make it up to you, Let's get to work we have to give Innie the best birthday party ever" Jisung encouraged all of you to stop being so emotional and get on top of your game.

With you basically running out of time. You all began to work at a unquestionably high speed. Felix blowing balloons like crazy. Seungmin cleaning the mess in the kitchen. Jisung restocking the snacks and the drinks. And you dusting off the living the room. Everyone was so focused that no one even listened when the bell rang. Until you stopped the vacuum.

You opened the door, Chan was standing there smiling so bright, showing his dimples, you almost jumped on top of him if it wasn't because the cake he was holding with both of his hands was in the way.

"Channie, I've missed you so much" You said clinging yourself to his back.

" It's been a long time baby girl"

The boys immediately stopped what they were doing to come greet their brother.

" Chan mate you finally came to visit us" Felix said hugging the other Aussie.

" I wish I could come more often but this college life man, it ain't easy plus I've been working on some songs with Changbin" He said looking for Jisung, turning to talk to him directly. " We can't wait for you to graduate, without you we can't be 3racha"

" Just a couple more months, It's going to be awesome man, the trio reunited again" Jisung said with the eyes filled with excitement.

Chan helped you decorate with a couple of party decoration supplies he brought. You looked around one last time. Unable to contain the tears at the sight of how everything came together at the end. Proud of yourself and you also had to credit the hard work your dumb but amazing friends.

An upcoming text brightened the screen of your phone. It was hyunjin announcing that they were 5 minutes away from arriving. That was your cute, You all went to hide in different spots, after turning off all the lights. You headed directly to the kitchen and grabbed the cake, crouching behind the counter.

The house was dead silent until you heard the sound of the key clashing into the lock. The door opening slowly.

“Why is it so dark in here?” Hyunjin said playing along while pretending to looking for the light switch.

“ Wait I thought you said Y/N was not home, why are her shoes here?” Jeongin asked confused, with certain affliction in his voice.

“ Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Innie, Happy birthday to you” You sang as you made your way towards him. The cake lighted up by the incandescent light from the single candle placed in the center.

The rest of your friends joined you while screaming

“SURPRISE”

Jeongin was loss for words, his cheeks stained by the beautiful tears that were sliding carefully. Like an open faucet, unable to control them. He smiled through them. Flashing his indistinguishable pearly white teeth. Alluring dimples. Stars that flashed on those sparkly eye pools as he stared directly at you. Like you were the only thing he was able to see in that dim room.

He closed his eyes and blew the candle wishing for something his heart desired for so long.

Everyone clapped and congratulate the boy who was no longer a baby but now a man. Hyunjin turned on the lights and you all gathered at the table to eat.

As you were walking to the dinning room, someone softly pulled from your sleeve.

Your eyes instantly meeting with his.

lost in his angelic aura.

You had been crushing on the boy for long enough

That you truly wanted to impress him with this whole surprise party idea. It seemed like your planned worked at perfection when he wrapped you in his arms.

“No one had ever done something like this for me, thank you so much Y/N” He whispered into the crook of your neck. The proximity making your limbs froze and your skin tingled due to the warmth he provided.

“ It’s nothing, Im glad you liked it Jeonginnie” You replied with a loving smile.

“ You know I was mad at you all day” He laughed bittersweet.

“Sorry for missing on riding the Ferris wheel with you” You said making fun of him.

“ I actually wanted to ride it with you instead of being stuck there with Mr. Dramatic for 45 minutes” a sigh escaping from his pink soft lips.

“ Is it because he becomes all clingy as it goes up, he’s such a scary cat” Laughing at the memory of hyunjin clinging into your arm like his life depended on it, the last time you all went to the amusement park.

“ That and because I hoped to hold your hand” He said staring into your eyes, trying to tell you something, but you were unable to read through the lines.

“ You do that all of the time Innie” It was not a novelty the amount of skin ship you and your best friend had.

“ You can’t possible be any more dense Y/N” He spoke a little irritated at your ignorance.

Your friend was rather shy, this sudden confidence had you all bewildered.

“ I like you, you idiot” He said obvious, tired of hinting something that was crystal clear.

“ You what...?” You were puzzled, your jaw almost hitting the floor in disbelief.

“ I know we’ve been friends for such a long time but I be always seen you in another light, will you let me be the one who holds your hand forever?” He asked extending his hand to grab yours softly, sliding his palm on top of yours and intertwining fingers.

“ Yes” You whispered hiding your face in his chest “I’ve liked you since the first time I saw you”

He untangled your hands to grab your jaw softly, so you would look at him, Bodies shaking, an adrenaline rush, and fireworks exploding the moment he laid his lips on top of your, delicate and with such sincerity, a kiss that revealed the profound innocent love they had one for the other.

“ Best birthday ever” He said stealing one more peck at your lips. He became addicted to the taste.

“ It was a piece of cake” You winked at him. “ For your information Seungmin burned your original cake, The one I baked with so much love”

“ Oh that’s why it smells like barbecue” He said. Both of you exploding into laughter. “ At least you didn’t burned down the house, I need to keep you as far away from the kitchen as possible sweetheart”

[skzluvs]

💞

[skzluvs]

Misconceptions; Han Jisung Smau Part 2

Y/N a local artist and Han Jisung better known as J.One the SoundCloud Rapper accidentally switch phones at an important fashion event.

A/N: Look who decided to post after a while... I’m so sorry I’ve been busy with school, but I’ll try to update more often I promise.