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the ratio of non rp to rp blogs interacting with me is upsetting

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i think ash williams is the best horror protagonist of all time, and its just because hes a stupid himbo asshole boomer idiot dumb stupid who doesn't want to be the hero but always steps up because he feels he has to

but because in evil dead, he was originally just a timid guy who took the back seat to another, more traditional horror protagonist, and had to step up when that person died. he was never meant to be the hero, or who he is now, or anything, but fate had other plans for him

also its kind of endearing to think he was only turned into the biggest fuckboy of the millenia thanks to watching his girlfriend and all his friends die to the hands of pure evil

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" what, they're gonna 'cancel' the umbrella corporation now? got news for you, kiddos, nobody makes abreva on the cheap like umbrella.

also, i'm still a strapping stallion, ok? but if i wasn't, and i needed some 'performance boosters,' i'm going right for the over-the-counter u.c. boner poppers, every time.

seriously, one of those and a handful of those gas station hornet pills and you're a straight shooter, every time, guaranteed. "

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im dead fucking serious someone find me the chainsawman rpers

"chainsaw man kills demons" is this the plot of chainsawman or evil dead 2

what if ash is denji's illegitimate father

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" First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow. "

Indie ASHLEY J. WILLIAMS from the Evil Dead franchise. 18+

Blog will contain themes of gore, horror violence, sexual themes, crude and unusual humor and a himbo boomer protagonist. Mun does not = muse. Triggers tagged on request.

est april 2019

" Groovy. "

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excuse me i didnt know there was an ash williams costume dlc in fucking LOLIPOP CHAINSAW

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"chainsaw man kills demons" is this the plot of chainsawman or evil dead 2

what if ash is denji's illegitimate father

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real

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sometimes i forget ash has actually thrown hands with freddy kruger and suddenly dead by daylight feels even more bullshit

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“Oh my GOD. I’ve been CATFISHED.”

she was right, in the strictest sense. ash wasn't using his most current picture on his tinder profile; but minus a few grey hairs and a couple handfuls of pounds, he was totally the same, right? right. yeah. keep telling yourself that, ashley.

" listen lady, if you wanted current goods you shouldn't have swiped right on a cellphone snap of a polaroid.

-- now that being said, like wine, i only get better with age, baby. that's a wine thing, right? i don't really drink the stuff. more of a shemp's guy myself. "

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" woah, hold on a second -- you're a woman! " he says it like it was news to the both of them and after a cursory yet prying examination that could make anyone feel uncomfortable. " a pretty good looking one too.. but don't think i'm gonna let my guard down just 'cause you've got a pretty face and killer thighs, lady! "

almost immediately after this proclamation ash lets his guard down, lowering his bladed arm as he tasks a look around him. he seemed to take notice of the woman's physical features before he noticed his surroundings; like her, whatever this place was pretty hot, kinda scary, and had a whole lotta red going on.

" where the.. hell are we? " he says, staring off at the sky like he was trying and failing to get his barings. he seems to snap back into the moment and points his chainsaw back at her, though with less conviction this time. " and don't say hell because i really do NOT want to hear it right now lady! "

@infernaliscor did not ask for a starter

a crack, a booming rip in the air like dry thunder against the impossibly cloudless sky foretells the arrival of a timeless vessel of heroes. a chariot, carrying its champion through thick and thin, war and peace, ferrying the enemy of evil through time itself that he may face it on any battlefield it chose.

a 1973 oldsmobile delta 88 royal.

said chariot crashes fender-first into the earth below, creaking and groaning under the strains of gravity as it falls back into place on its wheels. soon after a man also crashes fender-first into the earth below, creaking and groaning under the strains of gravity as he lays stiff against the unforgiving dirt.

he curses his god, his devils and a few mothers as he slowly rises to his feet. clearly, he's seen better days; his shirt is torn near to ribbons, and bleed, dirt and dried sweat cake his body where whatever ripped his clothing tried to do the same to his flesh. it wouldn't take a perception check to notice that he could use a break.

said break, which he was trying to take, is interrupted when ash locks eyes with the noticeably big, noticeably red person staring at him.

" woah, sssshhhhhii.. " he jumps immediately into a defense posture, hand raised, like he's trying to keep an animal at bay. anyone could tell by the wide-eyed, gawking expression on his face that he's never seen.. whatever it was he was looking at.

" take it easy, big fella, or i'll, ahh.. " he reaches, a few times too many, for something on his back that isn't there, then holds up his other hand, which is fixed with some kind of strange bladed contraption. he knows it as a chainsaw, but it probably looks like the most impractical axe to any onlookers.

" yeah, huh? that's right -- i'm not playin' around, so you just.. stay over there, got it? "

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                                    OH WHAT A WONDERFUL LIFE                                                              home / ask

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ARMY OF DARKNESS (1992) dir. Sam Raimi

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what the fuck

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