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Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

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I'm about to wii sports resort to violence

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"A society that separates its lore masters from its horny posters will have its headcanons written by prudes and its erotic fanfic by fools."

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it seems like the key theme of fungus is that they eat everything including things otherwise impossible to eat, they get everywhere with their tiny spores, and they grow and be happy wherever it is wet by eating the surroundings. So if get inside your body (wet) they eat you. so your two main options for being a multicellular organism are developing an immune system (most animals) or hiring other fungus to beat the shit out of the fungus that gets inside your body (most plants)

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narrator who's terrible at social cues & describes every facial expression as "unreadable"

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fireplace is such a funny word for that. i mean yeah lets not beat around the bush here; its a fire place. the place for fire. the place chosen especially to have fire. fireplace.

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today one of the student workers at my job told me that if she’s struggling to remember something important in her course work she’ll wait until her professor asks a question related to that topic during a lecture and then she’ll purposefully raise her hand and answer it wrong because, and I quote, ‘the combined shame and embarrassment of getting an answer wrong in front of more than a hundred of your peers will make sure that you’ll never forget what the right answer actually was’ and if that is not the most next level balls to the wall bonkers extrovert thing I’ve ever heard then I don’t know what is

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

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You'll find your fate on the path you take to avoid it.

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can I come over and dodge roll into all your breakable furniture

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i always click the "track package" button as soon as i get the email. "oh boy i wonder where my package is!" warehouse.