sleepsailor

[sleepsailor]

20 years of FFX-2

Listen to my story

[sleepsailor]

And that kind of confidence, you know, like I was finally - I was good at something, that was so new, and that was so exciting and I just wanted him to know that and, fuck, I just wanted him to be like, “Good job!” And the more he wouldn’t respond, and the more our relationship kinda strained, the deeper into this I went and the better I got. And the more people I cut out, the quieter my life got. And the routine of the kitchen was so consistent and exacting and busy and hard and alive, and I lost track of time and he died. And he left me his restaurant. And over the last couple months I-I’ve been trying to fix it ‘cause it was in rough shape, and I think it’s very clear that me trying to fix the restaurant was me trying to fix whatever was happening with my brother. And I don’t know, maybe fix the whole family because that restaurant, it has and it, it does mean a lot to people. It means a lot to me. I just don’t know if it ever meant anything to him.

THE BEAR (2022-)

[sleepsailor]

It’s okay with me.

The Long Goodbye (1973) dir. Robert Altman

[sleepsailor]

“The Long Goodbye” (1973) by Robert Altman

[sleepsailor]

[sleepsailor]

“It doesn’t even make sense, if you think about it. It’s the world’s biggest joke. Our entire lives are set up around not dying, knowing all the while that it’s the one thing we can’t avoid.” — Rebecca Serle, When You Were Mine

[sleepsailor]

“I believe that Icarus was not failing as he fell, but just coming to the end of his triumph.” - Jack Gilbert

Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain dir. Morgan Neville (2021)

[sleepsailor]

Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind. — Anthony Bourdain

[sleepsailor]

“How could you? But I’m not surprised. Gratitude isn’t love. Hope we can laugh about it someday.”

Asako I & II (2018) | Ryusuke Hamaguchi

[sleepsailor]

Minari (2020) dir. Lee Isaac Chung

[sleepsailor]

light

[sleepsailor]

“What’s that?” “Oh, right. You wouldn’t have seen that before. They’re sending supplies up from Earth to the moon and the Bunker. There are no spare parts or fuel in space, after, all.”

[sleepsailor]

Everything that lives is designed to end. We are perpetually trapped in a never-ending spiral of life and death. Is this a trap? Or some kind of punishment?

I often think about the God that blessed us with this cryptic puzzle… and I wonder If we ever get the chance to kill him. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀

[sleepsailor]

I have never been afraid of physical pain, but emotional pain and the avoidance of it always takes center of what I do day to day. I’ve loved people and I’ve unloved people. The latter causing the most pain, the silent pain, the not wanting to, the lack of control. I would get bored or disregard so many people that could have made a difference.

I think what I’m trying to say, or what I’m hoping, is that I can be better someday. Life is a series of lessons and I just hope I can learn enough of them before I’m 80 and alone.

[sleepsailor]

I wonder… All these mornings you’ve been sitting in my study. Sitting. Have you had any moments of stillness? Because you’re right, Ruben. The world does keep moving, and it can be a damn cruel place. But for me, those moments of stillness, that place — that’s the kingdom of God. And that place will never abandon you.

— Sound of Metal (2019) dir. Darius Marder

[sleepsailor]

You saved my life. You made it…you made it beautiful.

Sound of Metal (2019) dir. Darius Marder

[sleepsailor]

I met my wife on Match.com. My profile said, quote, I am a medical student with only one eye, an awkward social manner, and $145,000 in student loans, end quote.  She wrote back: you’re just what I’ve been looking for. She meant honest…

Michael Burry, The Big Short (via inmuddledtimes)