sm2k20

[sm2k20]

You, me and some T?

You have an Unusual name. I can’t spell your name without “U”. But you can spell your name without “I”. Quite sad, how this has to turn into another cheesy prose. I don’t know “Y”. It has to be cheesy if it’s written for You. Geez, I wonder if the readers already got the hint of who you Are. If they do or if they don’t, I’d like to have some “T” with you some day. 

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Fireworks

I heard that you like fireworks. Honestly, I don’t. When we went to see the fireworks together, when the loud pops sounded and when the bright lights exploded in the night sky. It was your presence that shined most  and I wish you could hear the sound of my heart beating that night. 

Oblivious.

You looked so happy looking at the fireworks display. You had your eyes glued to the night sky the whole time. My eyes were focused on how happy you looked that night.  

 At the end, you smiled and told me that the fireworks were beautiful and I agreed to it. Even though what I was looking at the whole time wasn’t at the sky.

Your existence was breathtaking enough. 

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Caramel Dream

I don’t like the taste of bitter coffee. The taste of pure bitterness isn’t for me. But I only like it when you’re here with me. It’s the sweetness in you that makes bitterness less concentrated. Turning it bittersweet.  No need for extra sugar or caramel. After all, you being next to me feels like a caramel dream. I guess I prefer my coffee to taste that way, bittersweet. But I like bitter coffee too but only with you next to me of course. 

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What I do

I only write when I experience heavy emotions that I can’t describe and want to get rid of. Even though it dosen’t help me out completely but it does expel some of my negativity after the writing process is completed.

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A bad writer’s complain

I just realised that no matter how much I try my best to insert the emotions I want others to feel in my writing, it dosen’t come out right. Maybe that’s why emotions are meant to be felt and not written because not everyone will understand it the same or maybe I’m just a really bad writer. It’s different for everyone.

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“There is something at the bottom of every new human thought, every thought of genius, or even every earnest thought that springs up in any brain, which can never be communicated to others, even if one were to write volumes about it and were explaining one’s idea for thirty-five years; there’s something left which cannot be induced to emerge from your brain, and remains with you forever; and with it you will die, without communicating to anyone perhaps the most important of your ideas.”

—

Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Idiot

Submitted by anonymous

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2 BAD

You’ll know it’s me if you’ve put in just a little more of effort. But you didn’t. Too bad.

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Life

I can’t fix the past and the dead won’t come back to life. Keep moving along.

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Anger

every day a i lit a match to put on a candle

as a sign of my anger 

towards the smallest things

that tick me off

what happens when one day i don’t lit one anymore?

worst,

what happens when i blow away those fire off the candles?

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Too much love

After all, I can't bring myself to hate you.

I'd rather hate myself.

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Best Supporting Role

i was only used to seeing your smiles

not used to seeing other emotions 

expressed on your face

i felt a sharp pain in my heart 

after a word or two you uttered the other day

it wasn’t anything serious

but your tone tells me

you’re not happy

i’m not used to seeing you

expressing sadness

but i want to tell you that

my arms are for you to fall

fall in to cry,

leave your tears behind

fall in to hide ,

leave your fears behind

fall in for a warm embrace

with words that’ll make you feel all right

destiny is a funny man

just like you 

but sometimes even if you’re not mine

i hope the only emotion you’ll ever feel next time

is happiness

i hope to take away your sadness someday 

but i’m not the right person 

to do that

who is able to lift that sadness away

from your heart

so stay strong 

i’m sure one day she’ll take turn your frown into a smile

take away your sadness, fear and pain

and return that smile i love to your face

until then i will still remain

your number one supporter

after all, i’m only your best supporting role in my story

who dosen’t need a special award

to be thanked

but i shall thank you for the pleasant memories 

you had given me

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Dreaming of Reality

we tend to see dreams as an escape from the world 

but what happens when a dream no longer 

feels like a dream

a dream that feels real

as real as reality

does that mean I’m escaping?

or am i trapped?

forever

with the same sense of pain

from the haunting years of my past

which i thought was over

but in that dream,

it feels like it has just begun

wake me up from the sadness

heal my pain 

do it all for me

as my own dreams have given up on me

and once again 

they

bring back the harsh reality of five years back

letting me get away was never considered

because i know 

you’ll never leave my back

i know i have to live with it

even when i’m constantly dreaming

of that freedom 

without ever thinking

of you  

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Paradox

If hate is another word for

Love,

then I Hate yOu.

but if loVe is another word for

hatE,

then I love YOU.

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Music Video Review

​King & Prince「Bokura no Great Journey」YouTube Edit

As far as I can remember (I sometimes have bad memory idk), this music video was released on the 28th of June 2021, 8pm JST which was released 7pm in my country on the same day. I remember being very excited even though I was about to sit for my final exam the following day lol.

To be honest, I really want to start talking about all the members and how they were all so cute in the music video T_T but before that, I’d like to say something about the song. The song is catchy and it exudes a very positive and carefree vibe even if you don’t take a look at the lyrics. The song is stuck in my head and this is the song that I listen to a lot lately and was the same song I wanted to play right after my final exam. That’s how good and cute it sounds!

Now, I don’t know where to start and who to start with but let’s just start with my favourite, the 97 liners of the group <3 I don’t know how to put it but why is it that every time I see Sho on screen lol he literally acts like the cutest human being on earth???? What did he eat to become so cute???? and Jinguji <3333333 why is he so handsome??? I don’t get it <//3!!!

Also, one person stood out in the mv and it’s definitely Kishi lol he’s hilarious!!! I had to replay a few times after watching it for the first time to actually focus on this man right here hahahah such a cutie!!! Last but not least, the 99 liners of the group <3 I like how Ren had a sweet smile plastered on his face throughout the mv and to me it’s a rare sight lol I don’t know if it’s just me but he dosen’t smile too much in other videos?? haha and of course Kaito who is effortlessly cute as always<33

I like this kind of mv where all the cute and good times were all compiled into a single video with upbeat positive music playing in the background that mixes well with the mood and emotion k&p portrayed! It feels as if everyone had a great time together in the mv! 

Besides that, I thought that the mv was release date was spot on as I was literally revising for my exam the next day and I actually took a break from studying by watching this mv and it was also the mv that I watched right after ym paper the next day. I don’t know I just needed something that exudes that carefree and positive vibe right after a stressful paper (well the subject isn’t stressful but lol I didn’t complete my paper so...it kind of was??).  Overall, it was great and is one of my favourite mvs of k&p!! YES I’ve been replaying it a lot and in fact I had to play the mv twice before posting this so called review here lol.

It’s a song that makes you want to go  ヤーヤーヤーヤヤーヤヤー 準備してます！けど忘れます！and smile all day<33 hahaha anyway, I can’t wait for their next mv release!!!

Link to Music Video: ​King & Prince「Bokura no Great Journey」YouTube Edit

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チャウエンビーチ　サムイ島

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Mandarin LEP Program (Semester 2, 2021)

On the 7th of May 2021, I was given the opportunity to take one of the roles of being a master of ceremony for this event. At first, I was hesitant when I received the news from my lecturer but then I realised I am given a partner to co-emcee with and that should lessen my anxiety and doubts about it. With that, I decided not to reject the role and take it up as a challenge at improving myself and my public speaking skills. Prior to this, I did have an experience of co-emceeing with a classmate of mine a few years ago for an almost similar event where it was conducted in English/Malay-Arabic for students who were enrolled in Arabic language Level 2 at my college, However, I didn’t want to count it as I had only stated around two sentences in Arabic and that was pretty much it, so I wouldn’t actually say that I had co-emceed here kind of.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried or anything and so, I suggested that my co-emcee and I prepare our scripts and so we did. Aside from that, due to my always doubting myself and worrying nature, I informed my lecturer that it’s better if we did a rehearsal 2 days before the actual event. To be very honest, I felt really bad for requesting such because I had seen my lecturer’s schedule for each week and that he is amazing for handling 5 classes that go on for 2 hours for each session and conducted twice a week so you do the math. I was surprised when he agreed to it and is looking forward to it as well. With that, I knew I had to work hard and not let him down on this one.

The rehearsal went well and that we were told to improve some minor parts but aside from that everything was well-planned. On the day of the event, I was half excited and half nervous, thinking about the number of distinguished guests who would be watching and participants that will be attending the event. It was nerve-wracking honestly, but I had to keep myself calm and tell myself that I can do this! I had to trust myself at this point because I had invested a lot of effort into this and even practised and rewrite my script the night before just so I do not mess up in the event.

Alhamdulillah! 

Fortunately, the event went well and that everyone had a great time! I felt relieved that I was able to stay calm while reciting my lines up until the end of this event. Overall, I am satisfied with the outcome of me taking up this challenge even though it wasn’t the best for others, but at least it was the best that I had given. I may not be the best master of ceremony out there yet but I am in the process of learning to become better and I accept my mistakes because that makes me human and that humans are not perfect. I don’t seek such perfection but what matters most is that I DID IT! I am happy at the fact that I was able to overcome one of my fears in life again, public speaking. Besides that, having a co-emcee who has my back definitely was a plus point and I am very thankful for having a supportive committee for this event. 

It was a great opportunity if you ask me. I am happy that I took this role and who knows? perhaps in the future, I would likely take up more of these roles and become better and eventually become a great speaker someday. Thank you!

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Midwinter blues on Lake Ontario