smartheart - Tumblr blog

[smartheart]

not "bill and ford dated in the 80s" or "ford has been pining silently and hatefully this entire time" but "by the time the show starts bill thinks he has been dating ford for like 15 years and doesn't believe the fact that ford is unaware he is dating bill and also didn't actually agree to date bill is relevant or important."

its not mental fuckery of any sort, they have never so much as kissed, ford just shoots bill with increasingly weird sci fi weapon and bill is like "thats our love language <3"

[smartheart]

please more evil ford please i stare with my puppy eyes for this i am obbsessed

Yeah all right, I've been working on some art. (For context, we're talking about this Evil Ford.)

Evil Ford is Evil as in "cheerfully works with Bill even after learning his full plot" and "is totally ready to conquer and/or destroy the world." But other than the shocking lack of basic ethics and the supervillain objective he's mostly the same guy—which means he still cares about his family. He's hoping to get them to join in on the world conquest plan.

Forty-odd years ago he went off to college promising someday he'd be a big shot scientist who changes the world and he'd make his family a fortune. If taking over reality doesn't qualify he doesn't know what does. The family can join him and his buddy Bill and rule the universe together. Pines Pines Pines Pines!

Unfortunately for him, the rest of the family still has normal moral compasses. And also they've met Bill.

Bill can't currently possess Ford due to Reasons; but even though he can't get in the driver's seat he still has permission to ride shotgun at any time. Ford talks to him pretty regularly. He HAS been caught doing this. Stan thinks he's just gone a little nutty from thirty years of isolation.

Naturally, since he was always on Bill's side, Ford's perception of events during Weirdmageddon is a bit different:

I finally made an official Evil Ford New Costume Character Design, check out his exciting totally different brand new look:

I decided that, since Ford is still basically the same person aside from his terrible life goals, he'd probably have the same fashion sense. And so... nothing changes except two tiny details lmao.

But he DOES have tattoos:

I traced a canon character model and took off its top to get a base to slap tattoos on, and then went dang... they gave him a big head and arms. He looks goofy. Anyway,

His forearms have less incriminating tattoos—just a birch tree and a sunrise. (The sunrise looks like the Journal 3 "The Muse Has Spoken" page.) The red text is the "triangulum entangulum" ritual; if anyone asks he'll go "it's uhh an ancient Sumerian poem about how great science is." It's not until he's topless that it's like "oh so he's a CULTIST cultist." The one exception is an unconcealed Eye of Providence on his right palm—but it's in an ink that's only visible in certain lighting. It's there so at any time he can point his hand at something and go "Bill are you seeing this BS?"

Of course, he still has the "hey now, you're an all star" neck tattoo. I didn't have room to draw it.

As you can see, he's made being Bill's right hand man a core part of his personality. Rather than spending 30 years scrabbling around the multiverse desperately searching for a way to destroy Bill, he spent 30 years chilling in the Quadrangle of Qonfusion as Bill's specialest favoritest Henchmaniac, and only scrabbling around the multiverse occasionally for fun & profit.

Here's a photo Bill & Ford took at a Nightmare Realm house party like fifteen years ago, three minutes before Bill started an argument and set the house on fire.

Most people have their wild party years in college, Ford has his in his 40s.

[smartheart]

Sometimes growing up is realizing

1. Oh 12yo me did NOT understand that billdip was weird and bad, oh dear

2. I was too in denial about my queerness to appreciate old man yaoi

3. Billford is peak actually

4. Billford was abusive as fuck, but it’s so well written and it’s so interesting to look at their interactions through that lens. Seeing Ford break out of that hold is genuinely fantastic, and it’s such good writing. The writing of Bill’s abuse is so realistic, and not once does the narrative attempt to excuse it. He is an unreliable narrator in the truest sense of the word. He lies to himself AND us, sometimes without realizing it because his view of reality is so warped.

5. Bill’s behavior is explained by his past, but not excused by it. It’s so easy to feel empathy for him while condemning his actions. Alex hirsch has made such a genuinely good sympathetic villain without taking away the evil parts of him.

6. Lmao divorce

[smartheart]

about angels and their purpose 🪽💫

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happy new year

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Gravity fall’s greatest mystery…

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am I doing this meme right

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I just felt the need to compile these, I've been unwell about them if you couldn't tell.

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drink responsibly

[smartheart]

Hi. I'm Khaled from Gaza. Because of the war, I want to evacuate Gaza and continue my studies. Please donate for so that I can achieve that.

I have £1864 raised as of August 29

My old post on the deleted account vetted by @90-ghost click here

[smartheart]

newly discovered brain-eating amoeba BEWARE

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[smartheart]

Here is my contribution for the Billford zine Until the End of Time! Please follow the link to see the rest of my fellow shippers’ wonderful creative efforts, or click the readmore to see my embarrassing thoughts on it

The paranoid Ford era is probably one of my favorite parts of him and Bill's story arc, and I wanted to do a piece for the zine set during that period of their lives which managed to capture both the the iconic parts of Ford's very bad time and a sense of beauty, adventure, and romance. While this is kind of contradictory on its face, to me the Bill/Ford relationship is all about that interplay between shiny optimistic ambition and having your head slammed into a wall for hours, between epic revenge narratives and goofy cartoon pratfalls, between the vacant shell of your old life and the bright rainbow bridge whisking you away to your new one. Bill possessing Ford in this piece also plays into that duality - there are literally two Fords here, the one that’s terrified of what he’s losing and the one who's thrilled despite it all. I don’t know, I just think there's just something fascinating and a bit seductive about all of it. 

[smartheart]

shakes my hands above my head and paces around the room im so sick of everyone acting like ford is a dumb stupid idiot baby who was completely tricked by bill and did nothing wrong. yes he was lied to and bill was abusive, but theres so much more to everything that happened. ford was soooo incredibly willfully ignorant and pushed other important people in his life away, YES bc bill tricked him, but mostly because he wanted to be important. he was actively ignoring red flags from bill and hurting the people around him and was complicit in so much stuff bill did just because he wanted it to be true that bill picked him bc he was special. ford was the one who summoned him in the first place, but then bill just??? told him that he picked ford bc he was special which makes no sense and ford is smarter than that, but he didnt care bc wowwwww he picked me bc im so awesme and smarter and better than everyone!!! he was fucking HEAD OVER HEELLLSSS OBSESSED WITH BILL BTW THAT SHIT WAS NOT ONE SIDED!!! idk why everyone pretends it was. he was building shrines and worshiping him like a god. and never questioned him for a second????? like girl he is the most scientific, curious man in the world and he never once thought bill was lying. he let bill into his life and let him take it over sooo fucking quickly. and he didnt tell anyone bc "they would throw him in a loony bin" ?????? THATS OBVIOUSLY NOT WHY HE DIDNT TELL FIDDLEFORD. he was LYIIINNGG. They were building an interdimensional portal, fiddleford obviously wouldve believed ford and taken him seriously and kept a secret for him. he didnt tell fiddleford bc he was one of the only people in fords life who saw through his bullshit. hes nice, but he stands his ground. as soon as things got too hot, he left. and ford knew that if he told fiddleford about bill that he would immediately be like "dudddeee this is so fucking sketchy you need to research this guy theres obviously smthn else happening." if ford looked into the runes and the messages in the caves, hed probably deduce pretty damn quickly that bill was evil!! but he didnt bc hes selfish and self righteous and wanted to be a part of soemthing bigger than himself. thats literally all he ever wanted. I think the most interesting thing about TBOB is that it shows that it wasnt as black and white as it seemed and that ford wasnt the perfect victim. its shown in the show sooo much how fucked up his morals are. and im not saying this with malice, i fucking love ford and his character so much, i just think so many people act like billford was like a fucking domestic abuse situation where ford was just sad and pathetic and helpless. its so much more complicated than that. ford is not a super great guy and thats such an interesting part of his character. IDK.

[smartheart]

do I make it into a sticker??

yes or yes