smashedagainstashuttle - Tumblr blog

[smashedagainstashuttle]

Our Kaidans have officially moved to my main @inadxquacy which is now a multimuse. I will follow from there and all interactions will happen there

[smashedagainstashuttle]

Kat: “ ‘Tis but a scratch.”

Kay: “A scratch? Your arm’s almost off!”

Kat: “No it isn’t.”

Kay: *medic sigh*

Blood loss? No I know exactly where it is

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Kay: “because oh boy is my griefcase getting heavier each day. At this rate that shuttle company will force me to leave something behind.”

who called it emotional baggage and not griefcase

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”If anyone can convince the Council it’s you. Us humans… well were the new kids so we don’t have much leverage in politics yet.” It was interesting to witness how politics weren’t that different in space than they were on Earth but it was frustrating too. Maybe Kaidan had hoped aliens had been past racial divisions. But right now they’d have to unite to fix things and stop Saren however Kaidan had hard time being hopeful on occasion.

“Well… maybe it’s fifty-fifty when it comes to humans. I don’t think I’ve met an annoying alien yet but then again I’ve been stuck on Alliance ships most of my career.” Citadel was like a new world for him, Liara no doubt was accustomed to all races given that most of them lived among each other on different planets and on the Citadel. Except for humans. “It takes a little getting used to, I’m guessing you’re more used to quiet ruins than a small spaceship filled with people. Can’t say it’s paradise but… it’s home.” Or the closest thing to a home the soldier aboard had. “Don’t worry about it, it’ll come in time. I won’t be offended if you call me lieutenant if you won’t be offended by me calling you doctor.” After all they’d just met.

“Well that’s actually quite flattering. And yeah, I guess we have a lot of diversity in our appearances but once you see people from a certain country enough you start seeing the similarities in some features.” Or when if she’d see a family with different generations side by side like him and his father. “I mean there’s subtle differences. Saw a few Asari on the Citadel, I can tell you apart. Or maybe it’s your personality that shines through.” He felt a bit like an idiot saying it out loud but hopefully he didn’t sound insulting.

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Right, the vision. Kaidan felt a little bad about Shepard having to push him aside and take the brain melting or whatever for him. Not that Kaidan got off scot free, his punishment had been a migraine that was still lingering about but not strong enough to bother him much. As for joining minds Kaidan wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Sure it was interesting but also it did sound a little terrifying too. “Yeah, I kind of missed the part in the book of life where it says older age equals more credibility. Your work is brilliant no doubt, I’m sure the Council will see the importance of it and the evidence we have.” Yes experience did mean more wisdom but not always, what should matter most was reliability and Liara was very reliable even if they’d know her for a very short time.

“Yeah, every species has that something that’s unique. Met a rather… unpleasant vorcha once, he said humans are annoying.” He said it with a soft chuckle as he didn’t take offence when it was said although it was meant as such. Humans could be ignorant to the bigger picture and how the galaxy worked so he could see where the insult stemmed from. “Anything you want to ask you can ask me. If I don’t know the answer I’m sure there’s a manual or something with an answer.” It’s not like he was too busy anyhow. Kaidan ended up stopping shortly when Liara followed him, a little surprised but he smiled softly and nodded, “Of course. And you can call me Kaidan. Or whatever makes you most comfortable.” It’d feel weird having been serving so long, to address someone in a familiar way while on duty. Once in the mess Kaidan grabbed two cups and some coffee, bringing them to the table before sitting down. “I got to ask though, what’s the first thought that came to your mind when you heard about humans for the first time?”

“I hope you’re right. I want them to believe us. If the Protheans tried to give us some clues about the future, we need to use them. To prepare ourselves for what’s to come.” Liara is not sure if someone will listen to them, though. The Council is stubborn, but hopefully, Shepard will be even more. Saren was dangerous. It’s something Liara is convinced of. And that vision she has seen when she connected her mind with Shepard’s… what does it mean ? She hopes they will find more of them soon, to make sure they get to understand these visions. It’s coming from the Protheans, after all, and Liara has always studied them. But maybe that vision is more IMPORTANT than everything else she has seen.

She chuckles a bit. “Every human is annoying ? I don’t think so. There’s annoying people in every specy.” She assures, keeping a playful smirk on her features. She laughs one more time before she nods. “If I have a question, trust me, I’ll ask you. But for now, I’m just trying to get used to all of this.” And maybe she’s also CURIOUS about the humans in general, and every specy who’s not the Asari, but she will take her time before asking them. She was already intense with Shepard because of the vision; she doesn’t want to act as she wants to study all of them. They’re part of the same team now. “I’ll try to call you Kaidan, then. Maybe I’ll need some time to get used to it.” She admits without removing her smile from her features. She’s not used to talk to people in general; she’s so damn awkward. But she’s trying. That’s already better than before. She hesitates before answering Kaidan’s next question. “Honestly… I’m not so sure. I think I was wondering how you could look so different one from anothers.” She chuckles a bit. “We Asari have many different possibilities of skin colors, but that’s almost just that.”

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Maybe expecting a magical and happy reunion was silly, after all Kay was expecting Kat but it was evident the Illusive Man did not fill her in on who she’d meet. Maybe Kat hadn’t expected to see him whatsoever, thinking he was still in the Alliance. It made him wonder what game the man was playing at, was he trying to upset Kat on purpose or had he severely misjudged how Kat would react? No, the Illusive Man didn’t make mistakes like that, the bastard was like a damn machine with his calculations and actions and quite frankly he was the opposite of a philanthropist. It had to be a test of some sort. Was it to test her mind? How she’d handle shock of meeting someone she cared for?

Kay never disclosed their closeness if that was an accurate way to put it, only that they were good friends and trusted each other. No doubt one of the reasons Kay got recruited in the first place. He might be dumb but he knew not to give the Illusive Man any advantages or information to abuse. And what happened in this apartment would stay there, Kay wouldn’t risk the man using Kat getting frustrated against her.

It took some effort to stay calm and not to look upset although Kay was, he’d missed her so much he’d hoped she’d be happy to see him. Her reaction wasn’t that foreign but it was alarming but not enough for Kay to get his guard up or anything. No matter what he trusted Kat, he knew she’d never hurt him.

The pain in her was evident, he’d seen it before, so he had to set his own feelings aside because he knew this wasn’t about him. He knew to be cautious though, not wanting to upset her further, so he approached her calmly. Reaching for her hands pressed against her head Kay held them for a moment before gently guiding them down. Letting go he reached to gently caress her shoulders before hugging her gently and quietly. Stroking her back Kay smiled faintly, loving that he had her there even if it was like this.

After a moment Kay pulled away, smiling softly before stepping back, “Don’t worry, that coffee table had it coming. But we should vacate before the landlord comes to check the place out, I rather he send the bill to someone else than me.”

It was obvious she was upset. Hell, Kay couldn’t exactly know what her headspace was having been dead. It still felt weird that she was in pieces and now she was there standing. And that she was upset with him. Then again it didn’t look good, he figured the whole situation was giving her the wrong impression of the situation so he didn’t get upset. Although being called Alenko did sting a little. “Hold your horses, Kat. I can explain and will. To begin with I work with them, not for them, and the reason I’m doing it is because of you. I don’t trust them anymore than you do and I fucking hate the uniform.”

Explaining the entire situation there and then was complicated and quite frankly personal. As happy as Kay was seeing Kat he didn’t feel like going into personal details there and then, maybe he was afraid no matter what he said things might not be the same they used to be. “I work alone and I get the job done, either the Cerberus way or my way. Alliance wouldn’t have let me, hell they wouldn’t even probably believe you’re alive but when I found out Cerberus was bringing you back I had to make sure they did.” And he hoped they hadn’t changed a single hair on her, he didn’t want a copy. He wanted the woman he’d cared for dearly.

“Look I know the sparkly eyed fucker wants me on board with you but the Kat I know wouldn’t just take orders from him. I’m not here to spy, keep track or hold you on a leash for him, you know my loyalty was always to you and it still is. If you accept it though. I’d understand if you didn’t and didn’t take me with you.” His last sentence was said with a slightly sad tone because he wanted to be with her more than anything but if he was realistic he knew there’d be a lot of rebuilding between them.

“How I ended up here is complicated, Kat, and I’d really appreciate it if you gave me a chance to prove myself to you.” If she needed space, if things never got back to the way they were he’d be fine with it as long as Kat was alive and well.

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mun is a shameless ship slut with Kaidan

if you start a ship with me i go from 0 to SIGN ME THE FUCK UP in no time flat.

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Kay: “But then I’ll be Big Ol’ Bitch 🥰”

Kay: I'm gonna nickname my child "Lil Bitch".Ash: I see you're passing on your name.

[[ @smashedagainstashuttle lmfao ]]

[smashedagainstashuttle]

Kaidan “I worry about you.” Alenko

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So I have been off for a while bc I just wanted some me time, to play videogames and empty my brain. I am hoping to return soon, my initial thoughts of return have been delayed by life again because the universe just wants me to be effing stressed all the time

There’s been a recent loss in my close circle and although the person was not someone extremely close to me it has impacted someone close and whilst trying to process my own feelings I also have to navigate how the fuck to talk to someone who has lost their partner without breaking into a million pieces.

So maybe not next week yet but I should be back eventually. At least I hope so.

[smashedagainstashuttle]

@virmireisms @akuzeisms 

Shepard: 🧍🧍🧍

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Kay: *glances at Kat* Okay fine,  -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / - .... . / ... . -.-. --- -. -.. / -.-. ..- - . ... -

(you're the second cutest)

Kaidan: *tapping fingers on table*

Ashley: *taps fingers back furiously*

Katrina: …What’s going on?

Jeff: Morse code. They’re talking.

Kaidan: -.-- ..- .-. / - .... . / -.-. ..- - . ... -

Ashley: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

[[ @smashedagainstashuttle @facedtogether also for context the Morse code says "you're the cutest" lmfao ]]

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[smashedagainstashuttle]

date a boy who whispers to you in his native language as you fall asleep in his arms

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He stopped in his tracks as Ash stepped closer and cupped his cheeks. Her hands felt like a comforting fire that would warm after a long winter’s day but he was afraid to show just how much he enjoyed it, scared it’d put pressure on her. Listening to her he wondered if she was feeling more than she could express but when she said he was able to express his emotions better than him, to put them into words, he had to disagree a little. It wasn’t easy but after all that had happened he couldn’t risk not saying anything and then losing her. Although her response to his emotions wasn’t the same he didn’t regret and figured it was best to say how he felt from now on.

It did make sense. She had to be what Alliance wanted her to be instead being her authentic self and it wasn’t always easy for women even though how far humanity had come.

When she mentioned she didn’t want to hurt him like he’d hurt her, his heart dropped. Then again he believed she could never do that to him, she was better than that. And why they were both hurt by his actions was obvious, at least to him. He did smirk when she said she’d never been afraid of him and that he was smart. It meant a lot coming from her and he knew damn well if he crossed a boundary she’d be more than capable of handing his ass to him.

Listening her he was leaning closer to her without noticing, comfortable there even if she was still fumbling with her thoughts. He hated it a little maybe, being so comfortable and drawn to her when there was still uncertainties. With her blushing after her request Kaidan smirked, trying to contain himself. He could tease her but instead he leaned close and kissed her softly, hands resting on her waist again gently.

Pulling away slightly he looked at Ash with a soft smile, “A tart coming after me, huh? Is that a promise then?” He’d hold her onto that promise.

“No, Kaidan, you didn’t,” she said as he stepped away, instead taking a step toward him, hands on either side of his face as her thumbs gently caressed his cheeks, wishing her stop apologizing. She understood why; Kaidan usually wasn’t impulsive. He held himself back, restrained himself—he always had. He even admitted he did it with his biotics, though he’d started to let go of that a little when they’d fought Saren. But she’d seen it. He was always careful, controlled; like her, he needed certain things to be in line, perfect, and not out of place. She’d done it with her career and how she handled it; he did it with his biotics and his social interactions.

“Kaidan, the reason I don’t want to feel like I’m leading you on is… is that I’m just trying to understand what I’m feeling. I’m not—I’m not like you. I can’t put feelings into words the way you do. Hell, I envy how… easily you can just say and do things like… like this. It’s… it’s because of—of everything I went through with the Alliance. I had to… let go of parts of myself, put them away in a little box, because if I didn’t—if I so much as risked breaking the regs, even if it was just a rumour? I already had it hard.” At least that she didn’t have to explain to him. He knew it. He’d seen it. She’d been worth so much more than she was ever given by the Alliance until they met.

“I just… damn it, I’m horrible at this,” she griped, shaking her head. “I don’t want you to hurt like I did. Because I was hurting—a lot. And I’m trying to… understand why I was so hurt by you. I’m trying to understand why I felt that way, and it’s… it’s a lot to process, for me.” She was starting to, slowly, but she did need more; she needed a little push in one direction, so she could figure out if it was the right one or not.

“Kaidan, I’m not afraid of you. Hell—I’ve never been afraid of you. Maybe a little intimidated by how smart you are, but hey, that’s just par for the course when you’re a grunt.” Kaidan was incredibly smart and talented; it baffled her sometimes just how intelligent he was, because it came off unexpected for his gentle personality. “And let’s be honest, here. I think I’m the scary one, between the two of us.” She was red-blooded, hot-headed, headstrong, and confident; he was confident, but reserved and quiet, and notably shy in comparison to her.

“What I’m saying is, if you… happen to be crossing a boundary that I don’t want crossed,” since technically they were breaching regs regardless, “I’m not afraid to tell you no, or set you straight, or… knock you on your ass if need be. And I know this is you being respectful, and not wanting to push boundaries, but… to be honest, sometimes I’m the kind of person that… needs them to be pushed a little. Just so I can… figure out how I feel about it.” There was no harm in trying, especially in situations she was floundering a little. And with Kaidan, she felt safe about it; she knew he’d stop the moment she needed him to.

“So… you know, I…” her face turned bright red, and she almost looked shy for a moment. “I really wouldn’t mind it if you kissed me again.” God, she felt like a giddy schoolgirl. “And, you know, if some table-dancing tart comes after you, for whatever reason, I just might end up saying something.”

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Time was shorter by each day, their mission nearing its finale with no clue what would happen next. It was the reason Kaidan spent his time mostly with Ash, whether it was to admire her or just be in the same room together. As new as their relationship was he felt home, of course his family haunted the back of his mind but he knew it was time to cherish what he had right there and then.

He’d resorted reading a book and listening music, he’d been lucky enough to avoid a nasty migraine but he’d kept the lighting low just in case. Their mission had been straining so they needed time to recharge, time to unload. Looking up from his book he knew Ash was lost in thoughts, maybe there was a subtle frown that had Kaidan stand up quietly and walk to her, reach for her hand and pull he close gently.

Smiling he pulled her against himself, resting his other hand on her hip and bring the hand he held slightly up as he moved slowly to bring Ash to a gentle swing with him. “This is me saying I’m here for you, you don’t have to be alone buried in your thoughts.” Leaning closer Kaidan kissed her forehead softly, “And maybe I want you for myself for a few minutes.”

@smashedagainstashuttle asked:

[ DANCE ]: when alone together (e.g. the bedroom, the kitchen, literally anywhere once they’re alone) the sender takes the receiver’s hand, and pulls them into a graceful yet intimate dance as a spontaneous act.

Ashley had been losing her head for the last little while. They were on mission after mission, planet after planet, and as the one responsible for tactical planning, she was just about running herself into the ground. She was constantly tired—exhausted, really—and it was slowly taking it’s toll.

Her only solace was the quiet she got when she and Kaidan were alone in the observation deck. If she didn’t want to talk, she didn’t have to; he’d never force her, and he at times was the quiet type, too. The quiet was even welcomed sometimes, with his migraines; he kept the lights dim, which was welcoming compared to the brighter areas of the ship. It was just… calming. Relaxing.

Today, at least, there was a little music; Ashley welcomed it, just to take her mind off things. She’d finished all of her reports, taking to staring out at the window, seeing the rippling mass effect field that covered the ship. She’d zoned out, thinking over some of the plans she’d been studying as she felt her hand being tugged, pulling her right out of her thoughts.

“What are you doing?” She asked with a soft laugh, half-frowning as she felt him holding on to one of her hands, the other snaking over to her waist. At least she was smiling; hell, it'd pretty damn quickly pulled her out of whatever thoughts she'd been stuck in.

"This your way of telling me to quit thinking for a few minutes, Kade?"

[smashedagainstashuttle]

It was obvious she was upset. Hell, Kay couldn’t exactly know what her headspace was having been dead. It still felt weird that she was in pieces and now she was there standing. And that she was upset with him. Then again it didn’t look good, he figured the whole situation was giving her the wrong impression of the situation so he didn’t get upset. Although being called Alenko did sting a little. “Hold your horses, Kat. I can explain and will. To begin with I work with them, not for them, and the reason I’m doing it is because of you. I don’t trust them anymore than you do and I fucking hate the uniform.”

Explaining the entire situation there and then was complicated and quite frankly personal. As happy as Kay was seeing Kat he didn’t feel like going into personal details there and then, maybe he was afraid no matter what he said things might not be the same they used to be. “I work alone and I get the job done, either the Cerberus way or my way. Alliance wouldn’t have let me, hell they wouldn’t even probably believe you’re alive but when I found out Cerberus was bringing you back I had to make sure they did.” And he hoped they hadn’t changed a single hair on her, he didn’t want a copy. He wanted the woman he’d cared for dearly.

“Look I know the sparkly eyed fucker wants me on board with you but the Kat I know wouldn’t just take orders from him. I’m not here to spy, keep track or hold you on a leash for him, you know my loyalty was always to you and it still is. If you accept it though. I’d understand if you didn’t and didn’t take me with you.” His last sentence was said with a slightly sad tone because he wanted to be with her more than anything but if he was realistic he knew there’d be a lot of rebuilding between them.

“How I ended up here is complicated, Kat, and I’d really appreciate it if you gave me a chance to prove myself to you.” If she needed space, if things never got back to the way they were he’d be fine with it as long as Kat was alive and well.

On any other day, Kaidan's wide smile and laugh would have been matched by the tiniest one from her... but not today. She remained still and stiff as he hugged her, not so much as returning it; it wasn't that she wasn't happy to see him... but she was confused. Kaidan wasn't just someone Cerberus wanted on her side. Kaidan was working for them. His cheer couldn't fool her, if that was what is was trying to do.

She caught the insignia, and in a moment, she went from guilty to upset. After all Cerberus had done, Kaidan was working for them? Sure, Kat herself was working alongside Cerberus, but she was no fool. She knew what they were; she was using them, and their resources, to do the right thing. The enemy of my enemy is my friend... but is still my enemy. Fucker with sparkly eyes, though... Was he talking about The Illusive Man? Or someone else?

"What the hell kind of joke is this?" She asked, her tone blunt and straightforward. "You're working for Cerberus?" Were it anyone else, she would've practically snarled the words... but Kaidan was close enough to her to not earn that much of her ire. Yet, anyway. Her fists were clenched, and she was angry... oh, she was more than angry. Perhaps the memories were... fresher for her than they were for Kaidan, but they were still there.

"Have you forgotten what Cerberus has done in the past, Kaidan? Have you forgotten Edolus--have you forgotten Admiral Kahoku and his men?" That investigation had been sickening for Kat. She struggled enough with the thought of a Thresher Maw, but to see Cerberus do such a thing to Kahoku's men? Kat couldn't stand for that. She'd been a mess for days afterward, though she'd done her damnedest to hide it. Hell, she'd practically shot the Cerberus operatives out of spite for what they'd done to Kahoku's men.

Kat crossed her arms, deeply unimpressed. "You better have an explanation for me, Alenko. And it had better be a damn good one." The truth, ideally; Kat wasn't sure yet whether she could trust Kaidan, not with what she was seeing in front of her. Even if those old... feelings were still there between them, she couldn't be too sure. What if Cerberus was trying to leverage that fact? What if Cerberus wanted her to let her guard down--just like she had when the Normandy had been shot down?

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Morgan Freeman narrating: “And it was at that moment that he knew he fucked up.”

Katrina: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Kaidan: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Katrina: But you’re always acting stupid?

Kaidan: ...

Kaidan: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

[[ @smashedagainstashuttle renekade lmfao ]]