smirk-mode

[smirk-mode]

Rimmer: I mean, sure, I have my bad days, but then I remember what a cute smile I have.

[smirk-mode]

Cat: I’m 80% awesome 20% water and 100% handsome. Rimmer: That’s 200%. Cat: I’m twice the man you’ll ever be.

[smirk-mode]

Rimmer: You know me, Listy, I don’t take any smeg. You know what I say to my haters? Lister: What? Rimmer: I say: “Please don’t hate me, I’m really nice.”

[smirk-mode]

Lister: What’s your biggest fear? Rimmer: I am incredibly arachnophobic. Lister, under his breath: You don’t want spiders to get married?

[smirk-mode]

Lister: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three. Lister: One... two... three. Rimmer: ... Lister: ... Lister: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.

[smirk-mode]

Rimmer: Know why I called you in here? Lister: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic. Rimmer: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

[smirk-mode]

Rodon: We have a feral army! Lister: We have a Shitey Sprite!

[smirk-mode]

Rimmer: I have been tricked, I have been backstabbed, and I have quite possibly been bamboozled.

[smirk-mode]

[smirk-mode]

Lister: I love hearing Rimmer shouting at someone else. It makes such a nice change

[smirk-mode]

Rimmer: You’re drunk. Lister: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Rimmer.

[smirk-mode]

Rimmer: Why are you drinking? Lister: I drink when I'm depressed. Rimmer: But you're always drinking? Lister: *smug grin*

[smirk-mode]

Rimmer: You know, when I first met you, I really didn’t like you. Lister, after a moment: …I thought there was going to be another half to that sentence? Rimmer: Nope!

[smirk-mode]

Rimmer: God, give me patience. Lister: I think you mean “Give me strength”? Rimmer: If god gave me strength, you’d be dead.

[smirk-mode]

Lister: That's greatly offensive to my people. Rimmer: College dropouts?

[smirk-mode]

Cat: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

[smirk-mode]

In the Parallel Universe:

Arlene Rimmer: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our bunkroom? Deb Lister: They're golden retrievers, man. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.