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[smoozie]

There is a word I’m not allowed to use. I love it. I love it so much. But my darling beloved wife hates it with a fiery passion.

I came across it from Anne Lister’s diary, where she says that she would “grubble under women’s skirts” and honestly. The word perfectly encapsulates the fumbling feeling of fighting your way through layers of fabric to reach the promised pussy land.

However the word has been forbidden, reviled from the first moment my beloved heard it. They shuddered and it’s truly one of the only restrictions they’ve ever placed on my vocabulary so I don’t say it. But I do think it, on occasion.

Sometimes the word will pop into my head and I will think it too hard and my wife will turn and glare at me and accuse, “I know you’re thinking it!”

“But I didn’t say it!” I protest. But they’re always right. Even with no context they always know when I’m thinking it.

Today I told my wife, “I shared the unmentionable word with Astrid today and she quite enjoyed it. She repeated it several times.”

They bellowed liked a dying wildebeest and said, “I can go months without remembering that word exists and then it comes up again. It’s so disgusting, it’s what Sméagol would do on the ground digging for worms!”

I was laughing and protested, “It sounds like fighting through skirts, the groping around.”

“No! That is something that happens in the muck and the filth. It’s negative sexy.

“Bet you're gonna take to Tumblr and share it and some people are gonna be like, ‘Oh what a great word! We should definitely use that in our lexicon. Top tier word!’ And you know what? THEYRE WRONG. GARBAGE WORD. GROSS.”

I listened to their impassioned hatred while cuddled in their arms and radiated love at them and remorse for having reminded them about the existence of grubbling. But now you get to hear about it. As a treat.

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MY OVARIES!!!!!!

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you dont have to be useful to be loved btw

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Kinda crazy to me that in an age where every single store has a rewards program linked with a phone number, people still don't have any numbers besides their own memorized

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Ppl in the notes saying "but it is the best live action remake" are exactly who this post is about. Shut up

How to Train Your Dragon live action makes me irrationally angry. Everyone is screaming about how good it is. Yeah because it's a shot for shot remake. The original was good. They just made the same movie with worse visuals. I hate it here.

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"You dont understand their character at all"

Girl its FANFICTION xD

Its written cause it made someone happy shut up

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obsessed with the woman at the dmv who replied with a firm “no” when asked if she wanted to be an organ donor but when the clerk asked “do you want junk mail? we sell your name and address to companies” she paused and gave a very thoughtful yet decisive “…yeah”

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Shubble and Wishbone!!

Just binge watched some Minecraft Misadventures and wanted to draw Shubble!! Decided to add Wishbone cuz he's a good boy.

I made him have a sort of decorated saddle since I really love Shubble's theme on this adventure!

I originally wanted to make a speedpaint out of this art but sadly I wasn't able to record the majority of the coloring and rendering so that was scrapped off.

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a feel like the new generation of fanfic readers NEED to understand that clicking on a fic (interaction) does nothing. ao3 has no algorithm. your private discord discussions of fic do not reach the authors. if you do not actively engage with writers they will stop posting. this isn’t social media this is community.

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i hate to vagueblog but ummm one of you is a spiders

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My piece for the @magical-menagerie-zine, a free digital zine about Troupe Gramarye. The zine is free to download, check it out!! :)ines

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played a recent horror game demo and when i got to a specific part the game played the steam screenshot noise and said "screenshot saved to documents folder :D" and then when i frantically searched my files paths it gave me this

that red arrow is something i added to point out that thats the player character down there, not the monster meaning the game had someone up there following my character

they do it 2 more times and each time i dropped everything to find the picture cause ive never seen a game really do this idea before of having a different pov of something or someone following you but only seeing it after they got a pic

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crane wives puppets

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Save yourself