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[snaketongue-truffleclub]

Autumn is here, folks, and your local Iowan is here to remind you of the basic principles of Corn Maze Safety:

Make sure you go with a partner! You don’t want to be alone and lost in the maze!

Take a map! You may want to try navigate on your own, but it’s best to keep a guide handy in case you lose your way!

Bring a water bottle with a sealed top! It will keep you hydrated, and the closed top will stop any water from spilling on the thirsty corn. Remember, thirsty corn is docile corn!

Wear long sleeves! Although dead leaves aren’t quite as sharp as green leaves, they can still cut you. And they will, if you give them the chance.

If a stalk does draw blood, spill some water from your bottle on the ground near its roots and move on. Hopefully, the water will quench its thirst long enough for you to escape.

Be careful what you eat before you go into the maze! Avoid cornstarch, corn syrup, and all corn products. The corn can smell itself in your blood.

Remember, scarecrows are there for YOUR protection. As long as the corn thinks you’re with others, it won’t make any sudden moves.

If you see a scarecrow wave, wave back. It gets lonely, and you will too if you’re not kind.

If you are alone in a cornfield, pretend you’re talking to a friend! The plants have ears, but no eyes, and they are easily fooled. Get out before they catch wise!

The breeze is lying to you; don’t listen to it. It cannot lead you home.

If you’re lost, look to the sun for directions, not the shadows. The shadows like to watch you struggle.

Never, ever walk off the provided paths! The paths are safe routes carefully created by the farmer. If you leave the path, you may never see it again.

Keep an eye on the time while wandering! You don’t want to be in a cornfield after dark. You really don’t.

In a pinch, many people try praying to the Harvest God for assistance. This is often a poor choice; you’re just as likely to be harvested as you are to be helped.

If you see a single green corn stalk among the brown, turn around. You don’t want to know how it keeps itself warm in the cold.

Remember, Corn Mazes can be fun autumnal activities if you’re careful! Just follow these simple rules and you’ll almost certainly make it home.

[snaketongue-truffleclub]

DELETE THIS POST

[snaketongue-truffleclub]

aliems log: owl discovered 

[snaketongue-truffleclub]

“This is Lola. She likes cheese.”

(via)

[snaketongue-truffleclub]

i just feel like you guys should see this thread about foxes

[snaketongue-truffleclub]

crab crab crab hand hand hand frighten

[snaketongue-truffleclub]

Pro’s of being a Plague Doctor:

mask smell nice sniff sniff mmmm that goodass aromatic herbs bitch

leeches

get paid to poke w/ stick hell yeah babey living the dream

what’s under those robes? boy? girl? unqualified fruit seller? doesn’t matter there is no gender only Death

[snaketongue-truffleclub]

reblog to pet the sad cat 　　　　　　 ＿＿ 　　　　　／＞　　フ 　　　　　|  　_　 _ l 　 　　　／` ミ＿xノ 　　 　 /　　　 　 | 　　　 /　 ヽ　　 ﾉ 　 　 │　　|　|　| 　／￣|　　 |　|　| 　| (￣ヽ＿_ヽ_)__) 　＼二つ

[snaketongue-truffleclub]

You’ve heard of “ring ring banana phone”! Now welcome “beep beep banana car”!

[snaketongue-truffleclub]

how do u get rid of ur gag reflex im not trying to do anything dark sided just wanna brush the back of my tongue without wanting to die u kno

[snaketongue-truffleclub]

13 years of school and im still not sure if its “grey” or “gray”

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Reblog if you’re going to miss Minseok

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cheer up c:

Make popcorn, and try to catch it on your tongue. Bonus points if you hit yourself in the eye.

Turn on your favorite CD. For every song, draw a picture. When the song goes off and a new one starts, start a new picture.

Open minecraft, creative mode. Dig straight down, then lay TNT all the way back up. Set it off. Go witness the caves you just opened up.

Pet a dog. If you don’t have a dog, pet a cat. If the cat refuses, wrap him in a blanket and hug him. If you don’t have either one of these, hug your favorite stuffed animal and give it a kiss.

Write a complimentary letter to a stranger and put it in your library book when you return it.

Make a video log. Talk about everything you remember from the last month.

Draw a picture of your dream home. 

Turn the lights out, put your headphones on. Click here. 

Make ridiculous faces, make a photo collage. Challenge a friend to mimic your faces.

Read your favorite book.

Take 1 packet of hot cocoa, mix with warm milk. Mix roughly half a table spoon of vanilla and a sprinkle of cinnamon.

Collect fortune cookie fortunes, tape them to a binder.

Send 5 random followers a message.

Write a message to your favorite celebrity. Send it, or don’t.

Put marshmallows on a microwaveable plate, and stick them in the microwave for 10-20 seconds. Watch them through the glass.

[snaketongue-truffleclub]

*exo-m standing around the broken coffee maker*

kris: so. who broke it? i’m not mad, i just wanna know

yixing: ...i did. i broke it

kris: no. no you didn’t. jongdae?

jongdae: don’t look at me. look at minseok

minseok: what?! i didn’t break it

jongdae: oh, that’s weird. how’d you even know it was broken?

minseok: because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken

jongdae: suspicious

minseok: no, it’s not!

jongdae: if it matters, probably not, but tao was the last one to use it

tao: liar! i don’t even drink that crap!

jongdae: oh, really? then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

tao: i use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. everyone knows that, jongdae!

yixing: okay, let’s not fight. i broke it. let me fix it, kris

kris: no! who broke it!?

minseok: kris... luhan’s been awfully quiet

luhan: REALLY?!

*everyone starts arguing*

kris, to yixing: i broke it. i burned my hand so i punched it. i predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. good. it was getting a little chummy around here

[snaketongue-truffleclub]

can we get a real kdrama where all of nct dream is playing themselves and they’re all high school students that messed with the wrong things like an ouija board or sumn and now they’re trying everything to stop the spirits coming from the other dimension to haunt the school send tweet

[snaketongue-truffleclub]

i think the genuinely worst part about kpop nowadays is how people are making everything out to be about competition and ‘who did it better’. thats not what music should be about. not for the fans, and certainly not for the artists themselves. sure, a lil friendly competition and awards are necessary in any industry, but the kpop world has become so toxic bc new fans who dont even know anything about the history of it are jumping on a hating bandwagon against whoever their fandom decides is the ‘competition’ and that behavior is ugly and disgusting as fuck and it needs to stop. discrediting someones success and achievements just bc you arent a fan of them or constantly comparing them to others is not fucking cute or savage, you are acting like a child and only bringing harm to your faves and the rest of your fandom. learn a few lessons and grow the fuck up.

[snaketongue-truffleclub]

Tagged by: @jongdaekink

Current time: 11:42 pm, what should be the bedtime of a person that needs to get up at 6am, but I’m a rebel.

Favorite color: Deep blue, and mint green.

Favorite musicians: Exo, Monsta X, B.A.P (rip 😢), VIXX, 5sos, maroon 5, and honestly this list can go one forever so I’ma stop there.

Top 3 shows: American Horror Story, Supernatural, and Death Note.

Top three ships: Not really huge into shipping but I like me some xiuchen.

Last song I listened to: Exo’s Diamond.

Last movie I’ve seen: It’s been a bit but I think it was the first Resident Evil movie.

Song stuck into my head: Diamond by Exo 😂😂.

Dream job: Marine Biologist.

Other blogs: @soobadnoonecanstopher is a reeaaaally good writer, love her work and she’s probably the only person I follow worth mentioning here 😂😂.

Tagging: @macobidobi @09marshmallow09