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My first HP shitpost. I have no idea if this has been done before cuz I’m new to the fandom. 

Harry Potter x The Legend of Korra (that iconic lin and korra i’m watching you gets me everytime)

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Trying to find a fanfic from years ago!! Harry and ginny are married, but very dark. Harry is a cheating prick and ginny is very dark. After he rapes hermione and gets her pregnant, ginny curses her foot severely when aiming for her womb. Minerva keeps hermione safe at hogwarts for a while, but ends up sending her and her child to live with snape. I remember them searching for and creating the cure, and a scene about Christmas trees, but I'm not sure of the name or even gender of the baby. I think this was a story from aff dot org but I cant really remember anymore. Can anyone help me out here?

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Severus: [turns over] [lies still for thirty seconds] [turns over again] [lies still for twenty five seconds] [turns over again again] [growls into the mattress] [reorganises soft toys] [throws pillows aside] [lies flat on back sulking]

Albus: [tired, from the door to the small bedroom] Everything okay, Severus?

Severus: [suddenly feeling guilty] It’s too hot to sleep.

Albus: [considers his boy] Come on, we will go sit outside. [holds out hand to the child] We can count the stars.

[moments later, lying outside on a rug, both staring at the cloudless night sky]

Severus: [quietly] I didn’t mean to wake you, Dad, I’m sorry.

Albus: You must always wake me, Severus. I will always want to help. [turns his head to glance at Severus] Always. You must never not come to me when you need me. Now. I want to know how many stars there are. Off you go, start counting.

[a moment passes, and then of his own accord, Severus moves closer to Albus - Albus tries desperately hard not to react beyond ensuring his forearm is more comfortable for Severus’ head, relishing every second of this -]

Severus: I’m so glad you and Mum came for me.

[Albus stays quiet; he cannot let this moment pass without noticing every aspect of it]

Severus: [with an edge of sleepiness as he verbally counts the stars, until...] [yawn] Love you, Dad. [eyes flutter closed]

[and still Albus does not move, but, the starlight twinkles off the reflection of the single tear down one cheek]

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Voldemort: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as Eagle One.

Voldemort: Narcissa, code name – Been There, Done That.

Voldemort: Bellatrix is Currently Doing That.

Voldemort: Avery is It Happened Once in a Dream.

Voldemort: Malfoy, code name – If I Had To Pick a Dude.

Voldemort: Snape is Eagle Two.

Snape: Oh thank God

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snape: i scratched off the lottery ticket, and i won 18,000 galleons!

lucius: aw better luck next time.

snape: ...

lucius: yes, sorry, from context, i see that is actually a large sum of money.

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— Colin Jost, in Best of Late Night

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yeah I love youtube and love HP, so why not combine it? 

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YALL GUESS WHAT I HAVE FOR YOU

 severitus

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Anamoran by @crochetawayhpff​

Rating: M / Word Count: 49,821/ 15 Chapters / Complete

Summary: Tom Riddle finds a mysterious girl on the steps of Hogwarts. When he finds out she’s from the future, he decides he can’t live without her. Written for the very first Tomione Fest hosted by Tomione Fanfics on FB!

part of our feature friday series

join the slytherin cabal (18+) on facebook!

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Major mood for my anti-social behavior...

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Severus Snape teaching ballroom dancing to his students for the Yule Ball is all I can think about!

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I made a thing @mysnarkyslytherinsecret I thought you’d like it :)

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Me when someone tries to shame me for my undying and passionate love for Severus Snape

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Seamus Finnigan meets the Derry Girls.

Derry Girls and the Harry Potter books both take place in the 90s so this is very plausible.

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ST SEVERUS - UPDATED!

* * * available to read at www.crmediagal.com * * *

Story: St Severus by CRMediaGal

Pairing: Severus Snape/Hermione Granger | Genres: Family/Romance/Angst/Humour

Synopsis: After moving in next door to her cantankerous former childhood   professor, an overworked, newly single Hermione Granger is forced to   leave her only child, Hugo, under the troublesome wizard’s care.  The   complicated interactions that ensue bring with them a hodgepodge of   angst, humour, drama, and much needed re-connection for all.  Based loosely on St. Vincent.  AU, Post-war.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7 *NEW!*

Excerpt from Chapter 7:

“Hugo Weasley, Mam.”  The lad outstretched his hand and Bettie mimicked his courteousness, her friendly brown eyes displaying evermore curiosity about Severus’s red-haired young company.  Hugo gestured to Severus after dropping his hand.  “He’s my babysitter.”

“‘Babysitter’?” Bettie both chuckled and lightly scoffed, raising both blonde eyebrows in Severus’s direction.

“It’s a long story.  Anyway,” he grumbled and pressed on in a hurry, hoping to dodge anymore unwanted questions, “has she asked for me?”

Bettie’s vivacious expression disintegrated like sand through an hourglass.  “No…  Not this week.”

Severus’s cheeks brightened.  “Oh…  Well—”

“Mr Snape?” came the woman named Norma still stationed at the front desk, eying him severely over square-rimmed, red spectacles.  She took a moment to adjust their position along the bridge of her nose.  “A word with you before you go, if you please.”

“Can’t wait,” Severus snarked.  He was speedily yanked out of the lobby and into the nearest corridor by Bettie.  Hugo sped up to catch them before they could disappear around the corner.  

“Severus!” she scolded him, though she was snickering under her breath.  Her manner with him wasn’t particularly flirtatious but, rather, familial-like.  She shook her head disapprovingly and led them farther down the hall, appropriately away from Norma.    

“I know what the cow wants,” Severus charged, maintaining Bettie’s unhurried stroll, whilst Hugo followed up the rear and stretched his neck to hear the adult conversation better, “and I don’t have it.”

Bettie shot him a worrisome look over.  “There are other affordable options, Severus…  Norma can help you with that—”

Severus’s returning gaze was stony and resolute.  “She deserves the best, Bettie.  I’ll figure something out.”

Bettie sighed and offered a sympathetic semi-smile.  They reached a thick door enhanced by glass and both peered out onto the lush, green enclosure beyond, observing something Hugo couldn’t yet appreciate.  

“She’s in the courtyard; been there most of the afternoon,” Bettie commented.  “She’ll be ready for dinner soon, so you’d best be quick…unless you’re planning to stay?”

It took Severus a moment to answer, though the interlude felt considerably longer than a few seconds.  His attention never diverted from the courtyard setting when he replied in a tight whisper, “No…”  He dug a hand into one of his jean pockets and retrieved some crumbled up Muggle money that he handed off to Bettie.  “I’ll take her things, though.”

Bettie accepted the money without a word, her blue eyes shifting uncomfortably from Hugo and back to a distracted Severus.  “Of course.   I’ll grab them after I see to Mr Langley.”  She moseyed around them and rushed off to the blue room from whence they had originally entered, Hugo still unclear as to where they were and what was happening.

In Bettie’s absence, Hugo was finally afforded a better view of the courtyard and inched closer to Severus, mindful of the man’s silent, standoffish body language.  He was staring into the distance, towards a bench at the opposite side the courtyard.  Hugo had to squint his eyes to make out a lone figure seated there and could only assume that they, whomever they were, was who they were there to see; but he made no noise.

At last, Severus stepped through the hefty glass door, which made a loud ding and creaked as it was opened, and Hugo rushed through after him.  There was no one else in the courtyard save for one, making the setting feel serene and secluded—it was hard to fathom that they were somewhere in the centre of bustling, noisy London—but as they drew closer to the occupied bench, Hugo became less interested in the pretty scenery and more in the person whom they were approaching.

The bench occupant was an elderly woman, with shoulder-length grey locks that were pulled back into a low, untidy bun.  For as old as she appeared to be, her eyebrows were bushy and nearly black and her profile was most striking of all, particularly her abnormally long, thin nose and narrow mouth.  Her spine was hunched, her form terribly skinny and frail to the point of skeletal.  At present, she was captivated by a pair of sparrows chirping and chasing one another on the wet ground before her feet and didn’t seem to notice that she had company.

Severus noiselessly swept around the bench, bent forward at the waist, and eased a ghostly pale hand over top of one of the woman’s.   Her hand, too, was white-knuckled and bony.  “Hello, Eileen,” he whispered close to her face.

Chapter 7 is available to read in its entirety at www.crmediagal.com