snarp

[snarp]

Oncology does not think I have cancer. Lawsuit Paranoia Referral likely.

My platelets have been consistently-slightly-elevated for years, and apparently this is unsurprising for someone with multiple chronic inflammatory conditions.

Hematologist did recommend that I try raising my iron intake. Since I already eat beans every day, this is a Meat Prescription.

Local hospital system appears to prioritize scheduling based on which conditions they've most-recently been successfully sued for failing to diagnose/treat, rather than which conditions the patient is actually likely to have.

Which I guess is still better than the level of dysfunction at which they fail to order any tests or schedule any appointments at all (common), but

I'd still rather not be getting unexpected fucking robocalls telling me I've got an appointment with oncology.

[snarp]

Hm okay this thing sucks and is lying to me (Xiaomi Band 8)

Can the Bangle.js 2 be set to auto-check heart-rate every 5-10 minutes and record that data... would I have to write the code myself

I spent $25 on a used smartwatch that ostensibly has automated heartrate monitoring and I will not start the ivabradine until 1) my shit is no longer fucked up and bullshit in the specific way that it currently is and 2) I've recorded a few days worth of baseline readings on the thing. Unless I turn out to be, allergic, to smartwatch, or it doesn't fucking work

[snarp]

Local hospital system appears to prioritize scheduling based on which conditions they've most-recently been successfully sued for failing to diagnose/treat, rather than which conditions the patient is actually likely to have.

Which I guess is still better than the level of dysfunction at which they fail to order any tests or schedule any appointments at all (common), but

I'd still rather not be getting unexpected fucking robocalls telling me I've got an appointment with oncology.

[snarp]

Changing my voter registration to "FBI Watchlist"

[snarp]

lacing the dataset with mercaptan

[snarp]

We need to educate the Deltarune wiki editors about the importance of using the mouse to "draw random squiggles" IN RE cryptographic key generation... Someone who can sit upright at the computer, please - teach the kids about entropy harvesting...!

[snarp]

Everyone loves Nubert

[snarp]

The new stray orange cat has established a schedule for his interactions with Bu and Dupe. He shows up to stare in through the back door within an hour of 10 AM and within an hour of 9 PM.

[snarp]

Untestable hypothesis: the presence of the headache-inducing mass pressing against the blood vessels in my brain throughout my adolescence made something in my head somehow hypersensitive to changes in my blood pressure, which is why I usually start feeling like the world will end and I'll throw up on it if I don't sit/lie down a ways before I get to the point at which I might actually gray out.

[snarp]

I spent $25 on a used smartwatch that ostensibly has automated heartrate monitoring and I will not start the ivabradine until 1) my shit is no longer fucked up and bullshit in the specific way that it currently is and 2) I've recorded a few days worth of baseline readings on the thing. Unless I turn out to be, allergic, to smartwatch, or it doesn't fucking work

[snarp]

A transfusion of the wrong blood, metformin, lithium, COVID, the sun above an empty park with no water, blankets on the floor of the county jail, the sound of crying in Goodwill, the dead lights in the yellow-tiled hospital tunnel: things that create the feeling of apocalypse.

[snarp]

Search query: "sensation that apocalypse is imminent COVID symptom?"

[snarp]

Available evidence suggests I was already coming down with COVID when I got the fucking booster two days ago: didn't lose my sense of smell on any prior vaccination, but just discovered I can't smell cat piss.

[snarp]

aaaaaaaa

[snarp]

Anyway. This is fucked up

[snarp]

While I was melting down, Dupe Cat carefully placed the hair tie I'd just taken off inside one of the crocs I'd also just taken off.

[snarp]

Dupe Cat will help me by trying to hide in the sleeve of the buttondown shirt I am currently wearing