sneegsnags-mailbox

[sneegsnags-mailbox]

I couldn't even if I tried, trust me.

(He sighs, holding up new boots. Maybe he should try again after achieving nirvana, maybe that's the ticket out of here.)

Those little 'Keepers of the Realm'...

(He puts his lower pair of arms up and forms air quotes as he states the name.)

They're jerks. Big time. Took away my family, my old friends, lose most if not all of my trust for anything that resides in this stupid server, and then had the audacity to keep me here to suffer, most likely for eternity or until I snap and go crazy for real. The last thing you want is to be stuck here with crazy powerful mobs, new and unfamiliar mechanics, and have an immortal snail trying to take everything you know. At least the immortal snail is chill....

(He turns around to see the unfamiliar duo inching closer, and immediately gets defensive. He pulls out his battle-axe, which is an actual weapon here apparently? Sneeg points it at the non-shadow creature.)

Ey, stay back. I mean it when I say I've lost most if not all my trust in anything. Why am I even talking to you? I should be focusing on nirvana anyways, not handling weird magic twins, let alone trusting them!

"I hear you're going a little crazy,,"

A voice whispers from behind you.

[ @pages-mailbox ]

(He jumps, a moth squeak escaping his mouth. He was busy enchanting before you came along.)

Jesus!

(He drops his lapis and pulls out his axe instinctively, whipping around only to see you. His pure white eyes suddenly get pupils as a confused look grows onto his face.)

You're not... from here?? How did you get past...? Y'know what I'm not going to question it. Maybe you're just a hallucination. Yeah, that's what I'm going to believe for now.

(He turns back around, facing his enchanting setup)

Anyways, yeah, I'm going crazy because I can't have contact from the outer servers.

[sneegsnags-mailbox]

Alright alright stop arguing, I don't want to handle stuff like that right now.

(He huffs. Messing with his enchanting table, he groans. Bad enchants again. That groan turns into an angry squeak as he yells.)

God DAMNIT! I'm gonna... Oooooo, Ooooo....

(He takes a few deep breaths before tossing the diamond boots behind him, nearly hitting the shadow. Taking a look at the enchants, it's literally in levels you couldn't get anywhere else. Unbreaking 6, and Protection 7!? How could that even happen legitimately?)

I need more crystal apples... Anyways! How have you been, I haven't been doing well obviously.

(He was right, his hair was a mess, he looked like he hadn't showered in weeks, and the netherite armor he wore was tattered and torn and haphazardly patched. The floating mob farm they resided in was a chest monster with random bits of armor just thrown around like a tornado ran through the place.)

"I hear you're going a little crazy,,"

A voice whispers from behind you.

[ @pages-mailbox ]

(He jumps, a moth squeak escaping his mouth. He was busy enchanting before you came along.)

Jesus!

(He drops his lapis and pulls out his axe instinctively, whipping around only to see you. His pure white eyes suddenly get pupils as a confused look grows onto his face.)

You're not... from here?? How did you get past...? Y'know what I'm not going to question it. Maybe you're just a hallucination. Yeah, that's what I'm going to believe for now.

(He turns back around, facing his enchanting setup)

Anyways, yeah, I'm going crazy because I can't have contact from the outer servers.

[sneegsnags-mailbox]

That's what someone who isn't real would say!

(He huffs, peaking out from behind his shield, comical large pupils staring at the shadow. He hated how that shadow didn't follow the body, something about how uncanny it was.)

Either way, any company is nice at this point. Hopefully Ros doesn't show up if you aren't real.

(He slowly lowers his shield, his antenna ruffled and spiked. The pupils slowly disappeared, and the fear seems to dissipate.)

Anyyyywayyysss... Messed up twins, got it. Just, why taunt me? I've got enough stuff going on anyways. Nirvana waits for no man.

(He starts humming a random tune.)

"I hear you're going a little crazy,,"

A voice whispers from behind you.

[ @pages-mailbox ]

(He jumps, a moth squeak escaping his mouth. He was busy enchanting before you came along.)

Jesus!

(He drops his lapis and pulls out his axe instinctively, whipping around only to see you. His pure white eyes suddenly get pupils as a confused look grows onto his face.)

You're not... from here?? How did you get past...? Y'know what I'm not going to question it. Maybe you're just a hallucination. Yeah, that's what I'm going to believe for now.

(He turns back around, facing his enchanting setup)

Anyways, yeah, I'm going crazy because I can't have contact from the outer servers.

[sneegsnags-mailbox]

(Sneeg yelps, jumping on top of his enchanting table. A shadow can talk?! No, no, he's really going crazy, there's no way a talking shadow is a real thing, right? He pulls out his shield and hides behind it. He's seeing things now, isn't he? Is this some sort of sick prank by the keepers? He speaks, his voice mixed with his moth squeaks, but they sound more like odd voice cracks than actual squeaks.)

What the fuck!? How did- why did- this isn't real. You're not real, that shadow isn't real!

(He's in some sort of disbelief at this point. How could one, let alone two get past the keepers unscathed and still have some sort of magic?! Did the keepers just hate him specifically?)

"I hear you're going a little crazy,,"

A voice whispers from behind you.

[ @pages-mailbox ]

(He jumps, a moth squeak escaping his mouth. He was busy enchanting before you came along.)

Jesus!

(He drops his lapis and pulls out his axe instinctively, whipping around only to see you. His pure white eyes suddenly get pupils as a confused look grows onto his face.)

You're not... from here?? How did you get past...? Y'know what I'm not going to question it. Maybe you're just a hallucination. Yeah, that's what I'm going to believe for now.

(He turns back around, facing his enchanting setup)

Anyways, yeah, I'm going crazy because I can't have contact from the outer servers.

[sneegsnags-mailbox]

(He looks back towards them, a bit shocked.)

So, my letters got through? It only took a good week for someone to respond somehow. Also two? I only see one of you.

(He's confused as hell, looking up at you, and back down to the ground)

And how the hell are you floating by the way?

(He's trying to refrain from cursing, but the floating is freaking him out. Was this figure a keeper in disguise? Or just strange..?)

"I hear you're going a little crazy,,"

A voice whispers from behind you.

[ @pages-mailbox ]

(He jumps, a moth squeak escaping his mouth. He was busy enchanting before you came along.)

Jesus!

(He drops his lapis and pulls out his axe instinctively, whipping around only to see you. His pure white eyes suddenly get pupils as a confused look grows onto his face.)

You're not... from here?? How did you get past...? Y'know what I'm not going to question it. Maybe you're just a hallucination. Yeah, that's what I'm going to believe for now.

(He turns back around, facing his enchanting setup)

Anyways, yeah, I'm going crazy because I can't have contact from the outer servers.

[sneegsnags-mailbox]

"I hear you're going a little crazy,,"

A voice whispers from behind you.

[ @pages-mailbox ]

(He jumps, a moth squeak escaping his mouth. He was busy enchanting before you came along.)

Jesus!

(He drops his lapis and pulls out his axe instinctively, whipping around only to see you. His pure white eyes suddenly get pupils as a confused look grows onto his face.)

You're not... from here?? How did you get past...? Y'know what I'm not going to question it. Maybe you're just a hallucination. Yeah, that's what I'm going to believe for now.

(He turns back around, facing his enchanting setup)

Anyways, yeah, I'm going crazy because I can't have contact from the outer servers.

[sneegsnags-mailbox]

(Flying down to check his mailbox, he groans in frustration. Nobody answered his note. Why would they? It's spam to random people, not a cry for help. His groan turns into a crazed cackle. Nobody's really checked on him in a while, and everything that's going on is getting to him. Threats of war, terrible leveling systems, and the sculk that's on his contraptions is spreading faster than he can clean it. It's nearing 3 months of no outside server contact, and that's getting to him the most.)

(3 whole months of no contact from family or friends from outer servers. Why did he even decide to join this place? Right, Phil and Fit would be here. Well, should be here. Phil's fucked off somewhere else- probably his winter cabin knowing them- and Fits back handling the chaos of his home server after a wave of hackers started to harass him, probably. Only god knows what Fit's really doing, maybe off with Pac or something.)

(He sits himself on the fuzzy purple mycelium, resting his back and head on the barrel of stamps. Maybe the letter is still in the systems! Maybe it hasn't reached someone yet, or they didn't bother to reply. Maybe, if he tried again, someone would finally respond. Maybe he should just give up, accept he's going to die here, doomed to rot in his own machines and contraptions until the keepers finally put him out of his misery. Maybe, he should give in to the sculk in his machines, let it take over and destroy everything.)

(Or maybe he should destroy it all. That's a good idea... Keep destroying the abandoned builds of people smart enough to run away before they got stuck until the keepers finally fucking listen. Or, he should kill people's livestock, steal their shit, and kill them too. Screw it, while he's at it, kill the stupid snails! And those observers! Even the keepers wouldn't be safe...)

(He shook his head. What the hell was he thinking?! He hasn't seen this side of him in a good few years. Maybe he should talk to that new therapist on the server, what the hell was it's name? Something with 'chu' at the end of it.)

(But his brain trailed off to the idea of the destruction of the server... The look on the keepers faces when their little place is up in flames because they didn't let some stupid mothman see or contact his family. He didn't even realize he was laughing at first, but it felt right for some reason. The laughter of a madman wasn't something Sneeg thought he would be doing today, but he needed it.)

(But for now, he'll just write another letter and send it through and sleep on the whole Server destruction thing. Server domination is a big task, but writing a letter sure isn't.)

[sneegsnags-mailbox]

(He finally talked to the Keepers about his dwindling sanity. But, all they did was once again, talk cryptic bullshit messages and disappear in a thick black smog. Something about needing more research about his sanity and how letting him roam other servers could help. Shit.)

(His growing groan turned into a scream of frustration, accompanied by a few squeaks of fury. There's a reason why he hated those bastards, and this is why. No information, constant riddles, and just overall ambiguous morals and motives. He fidgeted with his ring, just wanting to go home and see family and old friends.)

(Then, an idea struck him. Usually, those ideas are about how to upgrade his machines, but this one was about another strange machine that appeared not long ago; the mailbox. Phil had one so maybe he could contact other people, even if they're just random people to turn into penpals. He made a break for the mushroom island he called home, taking an old piece of paper out of his inventory and started writing while flying. He's a couple hundred blocks up, he's not going to crash, he hopes at least.)

Hello whoever or whatever this reaches!

The name is Sneeg, and I'm currently stuck on a server. It sucks, and I am losing my mind. I work on big mob farms, and just need someone to write to to keep my sanity at the moment. :) Hopefully this doesn't reach an admin of this server or this mailbox is going to get blown up probably. And don't try to reach my server, you'll get stuck too. :/

-Sneegsnag

(Thump. Headfirst into one of his own machines. The ticks of damage spooked him, fumbling for his water bucket to break the fall he was taking. Crash! That didn't work, and took 5 hearts- half of his health gone in a second- and it hurt. His head pounded as he came to his senses, sitting up to examine what the hell happened.)

(Edwarto. Yep, that giant tower of goddamned nether wart. Looking up, there was a dent in the soul sand, where he faceplanted. His concerned face turned into nothing but laughter at the dent, a Sneeg looking outline that looked like something out of an old cartoon. He wiped some soul sand off of his face, remembering what he needed to do. Right, that mailbox. He thought to himself as he stumbled over to the redstone contraption, still slightly disoriented from his comedic tumble. Guess I shouldn't fly distracted anymore. He thought, laughing in his head as he folded the letter and slid it into another folded paper.)

(He put a stamp on the letter, a blue spade with little black stars around it, cute. Stamps were in a barrel next to the mailbox, gifted to him with it. Who even placed this here? Who knows, maybe Scott, he's talked about a mailbox before, even though they barely interacted. Different sleep schedules and Scott's been busy off on another server. Maybe he'll ask him about this stuff when he shows up eventually.)

(Sneeg eagerly slips the letter inside the contraption and presses the button. Tick tick tick tick, click! The little noises the machine makes has his antenna shaking a bit, but in a good way. It reminded him of the Twohickey, and the clicks of that redstone clock. How fun! Maybe he should explore the system eventually, so he could replicate it for the others to use. Keepers can't stop him from doing that, could they?)

(He waits beside the mailbox, eagerly waiting for a response, brainstorming up upgrades for his machines, or what machine he could make next to make his life here just a bit easier.)

[sneegsnags-mailbox]

(He was going to lose it. Not only was he a bit under the weather, but he also took on the task of upgrading one of his machines- the silverfish farm, 'The Fishtank', to be exact. A big upgrade too, he was adding a whole new tank- a spawning room- to it. He mumbled incoherently, mimicking different voices as he went placing glass and rounded up allays.)

(He hates allays, only because they have annoying AI. He hissed as they kept escaping the chambers he made. Inhumane? Probably. But those 1 by 5 corridors were pretty nice, Sneeg was shocked the allays didn't like them. Maybe his inchman brain was calling to him, he was tired after all and usually didn't like small spaces. He lifts his goggles off of his eyes and puts them over his forehead and rubbing his eyes. He sneezes- once, twice, thrice. His nose hurt like hell, and so did his eyes. He was getting a migraine again, wasn't he?)

(He was going crazy, actually. In two weeks, he's only seen Foolish and Pilli once. And no sight of Phil or Clown either. He's seen a few of those keepers, only to get his damn pants back and then check in on him for wellness checks. Crinkle shows sometimes, and that's nice company, but he hasn't seen his snail in a few days. He's typed in chat, but only quick private messages to Aimsey or Ros, or to greet people waking or entering the realm again. That's the only interaction with players or player-like beings he's had in two god-damned weeks. He's also been hearing nothing but the angered and fearful screams of pillagers and silverfish for those two weeks, dare he say it was worse than the Twohickey. Sneeg realized he's also been running in nothing but coffee and golden apples, but that's just a typical player diet for you. He chuckles under his breath. Talk about mad scientists, he was going to become one if he wasn't careful.)

(He laughs maniacally (and furiously) as he places down the last glass he has, in the wrong spot. Maybe he should just go home to see his family, if the keepers would let him. I mean, they let Phil run off to see his family! Why can't he? He stops for a second. Right, Phil's married to fucking death herself. She'd beat the keepers butts if they kept him in the Realm like Sneeg.)

(He flies off grumbling in frustration to a nearby beach to get sand for more damn glass. Maybe running away from the noise of the Blender will help; there was almost a thousand entities in there after all. And that skulk, but he didn't really care about that right now. He didn't mind it anyways, he's used to anything corruption based. Not the first time you'll see him vibing with stuff like that, won't be the last time either.)

[sneegsnags-mailbox]

Wait you have a brother? HUH??? How did I not know this?! And also not on fire??? Wow Phil, you have high standards. Maybe you should lower them.

PHILLLLLL!!!!! You have one too! :)

-Sneeg ( @sneegsnags-mailbox )

SNEEG! How are you?! :D

[sneegsnags-mailbox]

Yeah yeah, squish me all you want, I'll just show back up. I'm like a roach, but... Uh... even worse! Also you are literally a decade older than me, aren't you?

Anyways, fire's nice, when you aren't the one on fire. :(

PHILLLLLL!!!!! You have one too! :)

-Sneeg ( @sneegsnags-mailbox )

SNEEG! How are you?! :D

[sneegsnags-mailbox]

It's utter chaos in my newer contraptions but fine overall! How is it in that tundra? Cold? Hope you have a jacket, old man >:)

PHILLLLLL!!!!! You have one too! :)

-Sneeg ( @sneegsnags-mailbox )

SNEEG! How are you?! :D

[sneegsnags-mailbox]

(An absolute mess of a tiny letter arrives in your mailbox, a crooked spade stamp in the corner. It also smells TERRIBLE, rancid even. You open the letter and read what's inside, trying not to die from the smell.)

Yo, what's up, it's the funny Fart Man, the Father, the spade boy, 'totally a variety streamer', Sneegsnag! :3 Found this fun contraption outside my home, and decided to throw this in to find out where it leads! Hopefully where it goes, isn't another Minecraft server to make numbers go up in.

Anyways, *Demonic screech*

(Somehow, you could hear the screech. Through a letter??? Huh, weird. Anyways, time to go burn this rancid smelling thing.)

Ooc under cut

Howdy, it's me, bee mobs ( @bees-mobs-mailbox ) mod, List! :3 Noticed all the non-hermit mailboxes and decided to expand on that with this stinky fellow. Need a Sneeg to a Phil nowadays anyways. Whatever Sneeg character is this?? All of them, I guess.

Obligatory this blog is not actually Sneegsnag, but a parody of his characters in MC servers, specifically Origins SMP and The Realm SMP.

If you don't want me interacting with your blogs or want me to get rid of a reblog, let me know! I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable <3

Anyways, tags!

#Chat's TTS : Asks/letters

#Number go up : Random chatting/posts

#Ew it's Lore : Lore/RP

#Reblog : Reblogs

#Ooc : Ooc asks/posts

-List (They/It)

This blog is a part of the Hermitcraft mailbox universe & DSMP mailbox universe! You can find more here in #hermitcraft mailbox ask universe and #dsmp mailbox ask universe!