snortdavis - Tumblr blog

[snortdavis]

People will say things about you that tap your worst fears. Take a deep breath. Evaluate what they are saying. If it’s true, fix it. If it’s not, move on. You will never change their opinion of you. Be the best you that you can be. It’s all you can do.

[snortdavis]

After our phone call ended, I spent a lot of time trying to find that perfect quote to tell you how I feel. Unsurprisingly, none of them were exactly right. They were somebody else’s words that I was trying to fit to my emotions.

I know I said I was really tired, and was going to bed. I am, and I was. But it seems like you always send me such amazing messages at the end of your day, and I felt it was unfair that maybe I don’t do that as much as I should.

So here goes — from my heart, and in my own words.

I love you. With every bit of intensity that I can muster. In that way that people who have never experienced it will say doesn’t exist, because admitting that it does means they have been deprived of something amazing. In that “I love myself and I could have been happy on my own, but please, God, don’t make me do it because I can never go back now” kind of way.

I think everyone who grows up in a loving home starts out believing in this kind of love. Somewhere along the way, life tries to trick us into thinking it doesn’t exist. That it’s a silly ideal. Life tries to trick us and discourage us and convince us that we should settle for less. So many of us fall for those lies. I did. You did, I think.

But here we are. Call it fate, call it luck, call it destiny. Whatever the description, the fact remains: I love you. I have never been this happy. I have never known someone whose entire being fits me so well. I would, and will, give or do anything to make you happy and to ensure that you always feel the same. Sleep well, Anjo.

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In the past,

For fear of disappointment,

I never dared hope

It could be like this.

In the present,

I can’t believe life

Hasn’t always been like this.

Thank you.

I love you.

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Not entirely sure I understand it.

I certainly couldn’t explain it.

The good news is, I don’t need to be able to do either to appreciate how fortunate I am.

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With you, I share selfies and shower thoughts.

Without you, I’d probably be sharing mugshots.

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As long as you have worries, about anything, then I have work that remains to be done.

Hold my hand and feel certain as I show you the way.

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You are my calm and my tempest.

My contententment and most fervent desire.

You are my everything in one.

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We look and we look. Always hoping to find that person for whom we are destined.

I wonder how many people cross paths with that person and don’t realize it, forever letting the opportunity slip away.

How do you recognize it? What are the signs?

There’s no easy answer.

But if you find that person, and are fortunate enough to recognize it. Count yourself fortunate. Never let go. Hold on until your fingers bleed and your heart aches from being so full.

Wake up thanking God every day. Then roll over and thank them for being in your life.

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The last time we were here,

I poured my heart out to you.

Tried to help you understand,

Even though I had decided I no longer needed you to.

Asked you to step outside our sphere,

And take a fresh look.

You responded with “Yes, but....”

I called you to discuss business,

And you questioned if I had done what I said.

I told you I had, and you called me a liar.

We talked about the kids’ routines,

And I told you what I understood.

You could have corrected me,

But instead you accused me of disinterest.

I grimaced, and rubbed my face,

Trying to keep my emotions from

Overwhelming our supposed shared goal.

In return,

You accused me of disrespect,

While rolling you eyes and claiming

I had rolled mine.

But of course,

Your contacts were dry, and your eyes were tired.

I am tired.

Tired of being the one at fault.

Tired of being called uncaring and unsupportive.

While you are only supportive

When you are presently satisfied.

You once told me that I was a fool

If I couldn’t be happy with you,

That nobody could ever offer me more.

Time will tell.

I wish you happiness.

It will not be with me.

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Search. Search for the one who is everything to you. The one who makes everything better. The one who fulfills your every need. The one who understands, even when they don’t agree.

Don’t settle for less. Don’t make excuses for those who didn’t deserve you. Don’t believe their lies. Don’t be someone you are not just to make them like you more.

When you have found that love, that person, hold on to it. Cherish it. You can give freely of yourself, because it will nourish you as you nourish it.

I believe I am that person for you, and you are that person for me.

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We make love

In the here and now.

We speak

Through technology.

But when we write

We channel Keats, Byron, Shelley, and Shakespeare.

Your love is my Renaissance.

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The Earth completes another revolution,

And I stand here amazed.

Dumbstruck

At your beauty

And strength

And passion

And seemingly endless capacity to love

The Graces

Hide their face

In shame

Of their relative inadequacy.

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Gal Gadot has nothing on you, Wonder Woman. 😘

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Your soul is quiet and gentle,

But your heart shouts at the top of its lungs. I love you, Anjo.

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The worrisome uncertainty of what might happen

Can never outweigh

The certainty of what must be. ❤️

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I look forward

To unlearning all my past hurts

While remembering the lessons

Of all my past mistakes

To be what you deserve now

And forever.

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And it was there,

In the space of a thousand miles

Traversed instantly by whizzing electrons

A symphony of ones and zeros

That they found themselves again

When they found each other