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So, I MEANT to say “oh crap, I left my phone in my car,” but what I ALMOST said was “oh no, I left my cone in my phar,” and damn, wouldn’t that have been embarrassing, but I caught myself, and what I ACTUALLY said was
“Ah, my fart cone.”
So anyway
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Natalia Dyer by Andrew T. White for LADYGUNN Magazine, December 2016.
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I found an instagram wherein the owner comes home every day and his excited shiba greets him with a zucchini
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I told this girl I liked the perfume she was wearing, and she legit got it out of her bag and sprayed it on me like ‘here girl smell sexy with me too’. she was so cute I hope she has a good life
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if you step on a person’s foot they open their mouths, just like trash cans.
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Your future self is watching you right now through memories.
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Ladies and gentlemen, our national bird!
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