snxwpixie - Tumblr blog

[snxwpixie]

peri couldn't help it, the sound coming from him accompanied by the tightening of his hold enough to almost have her whining in response. something between a sigh and a laugh blended in her throat and got caught in her teeth as she couldn't help the sad smile that ornamented her quickly swelling lips. the blonde's breaths were even heavier than before, weighted with knowing each one brought them a moment closer to having to separate again, time passing with each inhale and exhale, a ticking clock she was trying to drown out the sound of. how long did they have ?? a weighted question for sure, one that had the blonde drawing her lip between her teeth and putting enough pressure on it that it stung. ❛ i don't know, ❜ peri replied, knowing if she put a time limit on any of it she'd be filled with a deeper sense of dread than she already was.

per leaned forward to brush the tip of her nose against his, knowing for a fact it was cool to the touch. despite the fact every part of her felt like it was melting, peri knew there was no warmth to her skin; and sometimes she wondered why nick wanted to even touch her. if he knew who she was, what she was... would he still want this ?? would he have given up sooner ?? it was almost tempting to show him; to peel back the final layer he had yet to invade and see if the wounds that lied beneath the surface festered the way she feared they would. it was too scary, it was too frightening — if she was going to have nick, even if it was this one last time, she didn't want it to end with him looking at her like she was something to be feared. ❛ i don't have to be home, ❜ she finally answered, realizing she had taken too long a pause, too invested in her own thoughts and the flirting of the idea of tearing down that final wall. she couldn't bring herself to do it, but the thought was tempting.

❛ fuck — nick, please stop asking me questions.❜ peri pleaded, her words full of breath she had unknowingly been holding, her throat tightening as her eyes screwed shut — holding on and squeezing him even tighter; ❛ i don't want to think about when i'm going to have to leave you. don't make me think about it.❜

Nick should be used to endings, they were all he'd really known. Before Judy, he couldn't say that anything had ever felt like a beginning; he couldn't remember meeting his father, only the loss of him, like he couldn't remember making friends, only the acknowledgement that he had none. With Peri, she had been the chance at a start, a real start, starting over. He could have made something with her, he could have held on, given her every reason to stay, but like everything else it had slipped through his fingers before he was able to realize what he was losing. Destined, as everything good seemed to be, to come to its conclusion way too soon. Maybe that was why it was so hard for either of them to accept.

A breath of a moan pulled from him at the feeling of her nails and her sigh, his grip around her legs tightened. Nick was far too willing to lose himself in her, piteously so, to give her everything he could, what was left of him, until reality set in and came with it, a long list of fears — for both of them. It was strange, having her, while knowing he didn't really have her... and never would again. He was breathless as he broke away, just enough to lean back and speak, his eyes straying from her lips to meet her eyes, searching for the familiarity in them. Almost like he was reminding himself this was her, actually her, not someone else he'd brought back to his place as a distraction, only to imagine they were Peri the entire time, nauseous with guilt. "How long do we have?" He whispered into the quiet apartment, not ready to hear the answer. "When do you have to be home?"

[snxwpixie]

closed starter: @experiangel !! location: peri's new apartment

it had been a few days since peri had shown up to nick's place, unannounced, and the two ended up entangled once again. the blonde liked to believe she wasn't at fault, that she hadn't gone there with the intention of... doing that but, peri would be lying to herself because that was what she had been hoping for. she couldn't seem to let go of him no matter how hard she tried, and even as she lugged a heavy box up the steps to her new place, she couldn't help but think how useful those arms of his would be right now. get it together, peri !!

shifting the box onto her hip, peri lifted her knuckles to knock on the door. she was desperate for a fresh start, desperate to find herself outside of him, and a new place seemed like a good first step. ❛ hey !! sorry im late i — ❜ peri started, looking up, her smile falling flat upon seeing that this was NOT the leasing manager but instead... nick's ex-girlfriend. the one he had moved on from her with. the blonde's eyes went wide, and suddenly, the box she was holding started to slip out of her fingers. ❛ oh... my god, i uh, i must have knocked on the wrong door... ❜ peri stammered, clawing desperately at cardboard so it didn't slip from her grasp. ❛ — so sorry about that... ❜

[snxwpixie]

peri offered the younger man a reassuring smile, laughing to try and ease the embarrassment he was likely feeling before trying to swallow it down, realizing that would probably make it worse. ❛ those ice patches get the best of people sometimes, don't they ?? ❜ peri inquired as the other shuffled their footing to get to a cleared patch of sidewalk, going to release their hands before he beat her to the punch. biting the inside of her lower lip, the blonde shook her head; ❛ i totally believe you. don't worry though, i've slipped and fell over my fair share of ice before — and i skate like... all the time. it really catches you by surprise.❜ peri was also a winter faery with a frost talent but... the younger didn't need to know that.

hiro was neutral about snow. he lived in his hoodies and no matter the season, he did his own thing. whether it was working on his robots inside his room or stuffing cash inside thick coats given to him by aunt cass as he did another round of bot fights. recently, he had just wanted a change of scenery. and the most drastic seemed like the public park. however, he almost regretted when the almost-slip happened. as he looked into the other's face, hiro knew he was red. maybe pink, if he was trying to forget how embarassed he was at that moment. " uh .. yeah! totally. um.. " hiro took small steps to steady himself into a standing position. one where he knew he wouldn't be slipping anytime soon. " thank you! sorry, um.. " a glance at their hands still connected before hiro suddenly pulled his back, cheeks still tinted pink. " i'm not usually this clumsy, i promise! "

[snxwpixie]

peri's face fell at the stranger's sudden change in tone, hands drawing back and flying up to resemble that of surrender as confusion interwove itself on her features. ❛ woah — sorry, i was... i was just trying to help.... ❜ peri stammered, unsure of what the hell the other woman was going on about but taking it incredibly personally that she had shoved her. what gives ??

then she called her talia, and all the pieces fell into place.

oh, so THAT'S what gives. peri, upon hearing that damn name for what feels like the millionth time in her life, resulted in peri's head dropping back as a theatrical groan departed her lips. ❛ oh my GOD, i am so sick of hearing about this talia person !! i don't even know who that is !! ❜ the blonde lamented, years of pent up frustration spilling from her as she dropped her gaze back to the strangers, throwing her arms out dramatically on either side of her. ❛ why does everyone think i'm this girl named talia ?? you are like the hundredth person to call me that. my name isn't talia, and i don't know how many times i have to tell people that !! ❜

Zarina did not fair well in the cold. Most fairies didn't. She couldn't fight the phantom concern of her wings freezing over despite them not currently being a part of her at the moment. The anxiety of it was practically muscle memory, and the girl had to keep reminding herself there were no fragile wings to fret over right now. Distracted by the thoughts that constantly rattled around her brain, Zarina suddenly found her smooth, snow muffled paces turning into a frictionless frenzy. Her feet slid on the invisible ice patch and her arms uncurled from around herself in a frantic attempt for balance.

The grip of another pair of hands stopped the fairy from completely falling on her ass. A breath of relief brushed past her lips before it was completely stolen away. As Zarina turned to thank her mysterious savior, any solace on her features was immediately replaced with a stupefied scorn. "Get off of me!" Her arms moved on instinct, pushing the familiar, unwanted blonde off of her harder than needed. The action sent Zarina falling backward into the fresh powder of snow, which only raised her irritation further. "You— ugh! Don't think that I ever, ever need help in any capacity from you, Talia," she seethed.

[snxwpixie]

it was so hard to control her emotions around nick, which made it incredibly difficult to control her talents in turn. peri liked to think that she had kept a solid grasp on them, given as they had lied primarily dormant for the better half of her life. it was hard to fight the habitual instinct to cool herself down when blood pooled in her cheeks, pull back to flush from her face by combatting it with frost. around nick, she couldn't do that, so whenever peri felt like she was melting she ravished in it. warmth brought memories, however, memories brought pain. it was very peri-like to consider a moment still happening to be a memory in the making before it officially became one, but with nick, there was no telling when the timer would go off. when the sands in the hourglass would stop falling. it was hard to get lost in the moment when you were so fucking scared of it ending.

laughing into his mouth, peri responded in kind to his movements as her legs hooked around his waist, ankles locking as she molded herself into the familiar strength of his arms. a searing heat shot through her, pooling in her abdomen, swelling in her chest and staining her cheeks a dark scarlet — peri was burning so hot she thought she'd melt. the more he fed into it, the more feral she seemed to become, nails gently raking the back of his head as a small sigh of appreciation drifted from her lips as he drew the lower one between his teeth. peri smiled at the gesture, the feeling of him tugging on her lip making her head, heart, and stomach spin in violently fast circles that resulted in a mix of anticipation and impending doom. peri needed him in a way she didn't even understand, in a way that felt almost manic, and it didn't help that he had picked her up like she weighed nothing and was kissing her with a desire that mirrored her own.

no, it certainly didn't help.

Nick had never really minded the cold, but he couldn't say that he preferred it — until he met Peri. He had grown rather accustomed to the feeling of her cold fingers intertwined in his, her lips cool against his, her skin always seeming to radiate lower temperatures than anyone else he'd touched. It wasn't something he'd realize he would miss until it was gone, and now, whenever he was outside in winter too long, whenever he stuck his legs out from underneath the blanket at night, he was hit immediately with the thought of missing her. It was inescapable, but perhaps he should have seen it coming. He knew he was getting too close, too fast, but he'd shut the thoughts down because she was the first person that looked at him like... a person. He'd went in headfirst, not allowing himself to think about how unfair it was to her, a relationship built on — not lies, no, but certainly not truths.

It wasn't that he didn't trust her. The irony of it, Peri had one of the warmest hearts he'd come across, and he should know that she wouldn't judge him. But he'd thought others had good intentions before, and he'd been proven wrong time and time again. And they were shifters. If he was hated so deeply by his own kind, feared by those that should understand him more than anyone else, what would a human think? Even if Peri accepted him as he was, which seemed impossible with his bias, if she didn't look at him with revolt, he would be a danger to her. If, when others found out, she would be at the center of questioning as well. It wasn't like it was a secret he could keep for the rest of his life. But he wouldn't allow himself to recall all of those reasons right now. All he wanted to dwell on was her freezing hands.

Taking the height problem into his own hands, literally, Nick didn't dare break the kiss as he swept her off of her feet, lifting her legs around his waist. All he had wanted for so long was in his grasp, and he would hold her there for as long as she would let him, until his arms ached. He refused to come up for oxygen, tugging her lip gently between his teeth, afraid that if he gave her even half a second to think this over, she would come to her senses, change her mind, and he wasn't ready to let her go again. Not tonight. He couldn't.

[snxwpixie]

if she hadn't been leaning in to kiss him, peri would be driving herself mad with his silence. nick's words hadn't fully sank in, neither had her responses to them, and it was hard to focus on the way her mind was spiraling when his mouth met hers with the same eagerness she presented it with. sighing into the embrace like she could breathe for the first time, peri melted into his touch ( a sensation she only seemed to enjoy when it was because of nick ), straining to meet his lips and wrapping her arms around his neck, she grasped at her elbows to try and keep her hold from slipping.

peri wasn't a leader, she wasn't a decision maker, she wasn't the head of the charge or the kind of person who was going to change the world with her own two hands... and she had forced herself to be okay with that. at the end of the day, all peri wanted was her longing to be accepted, to be seen, to have finally been worth something. all those days she spent wondering why she had been the one sent to evermore. twenty plus years spent doubting herself, doubting her talents, doubting her purpose; she didn't want them to have all been for nothing. she wanted them to mean something, and peri knew that deep down, nick wilde made them mean something. he made her feel like she meant something. she wasn't ready to let go of that. not yet. not ever.

peri pressed herself as close as she humanely could to the man, tracing his lower lip with her tongue, tasting the remnants of her chapstick and words unspoken as she did. the tears had stopped, taking pause along with herself and nick, the world around them unmoving as they basked in this moment that felt as if it existed outside the grasps of time. her height provided her a bit of a disadvantage, but it didn't stop her from trying to get even closer, her chest heaving against his as she starved for breath. they were so close she had no doubt he could feel her heartbeat, and despite the fact it felt like it was about to explode— it only made her kiss him deeper. it was hard to be certain which kiss would be their last, and peri didn't want to think about it. she didn't want to think about anything but what was happening right here, right now; even if it wasn't realistic. so peri pressed harder onto the balls of her feet, tried to give herself a few more inches, prolonging the moment they would have to eventually seperate as best she could. peri didn't have much going on for her here in evermore, and as much as she wanted to find the answers to her questions and dip her toes into the magic she was forced to hide here in evermore... she didn't want to do any of that if it meant she could never have him. in fact, if that was what it took not to lose nick wilde, peri was confident she would give it all up in a heartbeat. what had it ever done for her anyways ??

It was easier for him than it was her, and he knew it, to push it all down. To pretend everything was fine in the moment without dwelling over what tomorrow would bring. Nick had spent a lifetime brushing off serious moments, dodging any emotion that threatened to show itself with jokes until he was alone and could pick it all apart safely. Overthinking was his kryptonite, but only when he had nothing else to focus on, when the room was quiet and empty. It was hardly any trouble to speak to her now and fool himself into believing everything was fine though he knew deep down they were setting themselves up for failure, for more heartbreak as if the first hadn't been enough; it was a coping mechanism he was all too familiar with.

Her words were both comforting and devastating, the way she whispered it, their little secret. If not in this life, then the next one. He liked to imagine it, a lifetime where they'd made it work. A lifetime in which he hadn't been cursed from the moment he was born, or at least brought up in a world that did not hate so strongly for what he was, a world where he didn't have to watch his back and she didn't have to worry about him keeping secrets from her every night when they settled into bed. Somewhere they could exist as they were, together, and weren't doomed from the very first word. He liked to imagine it was this one, if only for tonight.

He didn't respond, there was nothing else to say. It had all been said — and ignored. Time and time again, it seemed. And a part of him hoped it would continue, that they would be stuck in this endless loop of not being able to move on, this cycle of hellos and goodbyes, because otherwise he would lose her. They couldn't be friends. But how was he supposed to accept being nothing? Deepening the kiss, he did what he was best at and pushed all of those feelings down, focusing instead of the feeling of her against him and pretending it wouldn't all be over as quickly as it started.

[snxwpixie]

there was something going on behind his eyes that the blonde couldn't quite place, and it was clear nick was having one of those moments when he just... went somewhere. peri had pried in the past, pleaded for him to open the door he kept sealed shut and let her in. peri of all people was the last to cast judgement upon anyone... the girl had been rejected from the moment she was literally born. sent here, to evermore, when every other fairy got to experience the magic and the wonder of pixie hollow and didn't spend their entire life not knowing who they were, what they were, and hiding away from the very people who would make a display of them if they caught wind of what they were capable of. what SHE was capable of. trembling palms found his face, thumbs smoothing over the surface of the stubble on his jaw, stopping just at the edge of his lips before the digits moved outwards again. back and forth, like windshield wipers, clearing up the debris that made it hard to look ahead.

he was wiping her tears, she was holding his face, it was all so sad. their relationship hadn't been anything like this, and when it had been, it was only glimpses into the puddles of darkness they mindlessly jumped over. those very puddles didn't even hold a candle to the oceans they'd be forced to cross once they finally called it quits. their relationship came easy at first, almost mindlessly, insta-love at its very literal definition. the blonde had been head over heels from the moment they met, and even now, she couldn't look at him for too long without a fluttering sensation making her stomach feel like it was infested with winged-insects. sometimes butterflies, sometimes bees, but she loved the buzz all the same. ❛ you will — ❜ peri started, but then nick continued, catching her off guard, her face melting into one of a devastation she herself had never known until this moment.

somberly, she tried to smile, offering him all that she had left in the curve of her lips as she continued to tenderly stroke his face with her hands; as if this was the last time she'd ever do it. maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but she couldn't help but feel that it should be. for both of their sakes. ❛ maybe it always will be, ❜ she whispered, hands sliding from his face to the back of his neck, weight pressed onto her toes again, laying a kiss against the underside of his jaw due to that being all she could reach. her heart was pounding, and peri was dizzy, the urge to just freeze him and this moment in time was so overwhelming she could feel the palms of her hands growing cold to the touch. it was hard to control everything at once. ❛ — maybe it always will be me. always be us..... and if not in this life, then the next one.❜ unable to refrain anymore, needing his air to stay alive it felt, peri stopped fighting what her heart was pleading for and tugged on the back of his neck enough to bow his head so she could press her lips against his once more, sealing their fate for the very future in question. peri knew she was destined to be with nick, and if it wasn't now, if it wasn't here... then she fully believed it would be somewhere else. sometime else. somewhere where the pain of their past wouldn't stop them from finding the joy of their future.

He didn't, he didn't deserve better than her, he didn't even deserve her — Nick was horrible at love and in his defense, it wasn't something he knew well. His mother loved him until the ends of the earth (and, God, his mother would have loved Peri) but beyond her bias, no one had ever been so much as kind to him, much less cared. No one cared when he awoke in the middle of the night in silent tears over a string of nightmares, reliving the traumatic moments people had put him through because he was supposed to be so dangerous when all he had wanted was to be their friend. No one cared that the moment anything covered his mouth or his eyes he felt like a wild animal, choking on his own panic. No one cared when he sat alone at lunch every single day, when the teachers sent him to the principal for disrupting class for being picked on, when he looked in the mirror and pulled apart every detail, every single thing about himself, trying to find what it was that made him look so horrible, so unapproachable so he could change it. He would have changed it. He would have changed everything about himself to be loved, and that was how he knew he didn't deserve it — because he had to tuck away the most important parts to even get a taste of it.

And now here they were, a shattered example of what happened when he tried; he was nothing more than an overly rambunctious child, staring at a broken vase on the floor, trying to figure out how he had broken something more fragile than he'd even been capable of understanding. He continued to wipe away her tears, fighting the urge to kiss her until she forgot that she was sad, that this was an ending rather than the beginning he would do anything for. If he could go back... if only he could go back and do it all over again.

"What if I don't?" The words were coming out before he could stop them, before he could bite his tongue and save a little dignity. Maybe it was too late for dignity. Maybe it was too late for everything. His gaze flickered over her face, from her eyes to her lips and back to her eyes again, voicing a fear that he felt deep within his soul. "What if it's always you?" If time was supposed to heal, it was doing a terrible job at it. Nick wasn't known for his patience, but by now, surely it should be easier. By now it shouldn't cut so deeply to imagine them both with someone else, no matter how far apart they were. He could blame the secrets all he wanted but even with less of them, even with his next relationship where they had shared more honesty because she hadn't been human either, because she had told him first, it still fell apart. With Nick, he knew, it was always going to fall apart. And with Peri... "What if it's always gonna be you?"

[snxwpixie]

peri thought it was common knowledge not to comment on someone crying when they were, well, crying because it was only known to make them cry more. when nick pointed out her tears, told her to stop, her lower lip wobbled, and a small pitiful squeak came from her as she lifted a hand to cover her mouth. her lips still stung, buzzing with a need she didn't want to satisfy because she new it was an insatiable one. peri would never be satisfied, there would never be a time where she could walk away from him and feel good about it. doubt clouded her mind and fogged her vision; what if they had been wrong ?? what if it was supposed to be nick and herself forever and they had misinterpreted a challenge for the end ?? peri was wishful in that regard, hopeful, wanting to feed into the delusions that this wasn't how things were supposed to be for them. a small sob, muffled by her hand came again, and her emotions only amplified when his hand found her cheek and his thumb brushed away the guilt that came in the form of salted moisture.

❛ i'm sorry, ❜ she whispered, knowing he wouldn't want her apologizing but doing it anyways, shaking her head. ❛ i'm so sorry, nick. you deserve better than this i... i just can't seem to let you go. i don't want to.❜ the blonde stepped forward again, dragging her palms up and down the length of his torso, finding his shoulders once more and squeezing. peri's eyes moved to his once more, lip between her teeth, shaking her head as if in disbelief that she had ruined this for them— for him. it didn't make sense, and it wasn't fair, but sometimes you needed to take the torch and light the bridge on fire so the option to walk across it just one more time, even if you wanted to, wasn't there any more. ❛ — but you will go somewhere eventually,❜ peri breathed, her voice hoarse, her hands moving back around his neck; antsy, fidgety, damn near desperate but for what exactly, she wasn't sure. she wanted to kiss him again, but she held herself back, throat bobbing with emotion. ❛ one day, you'll go somewhere. you'll go somewhere whether it's... it's across town or across the world... and you'll find someone. and... and they won't keep secrets from you, and you won't keep secrets from them. you'll be happy one day, nick, and you won't want to hold onto this anymore... and i don't know what i'll do with myself when that day comes.❜

He didn't know how, either, how to stop, and he wasn't sure he'd ever figure it out. Not while she was just as willing as he was to reminisce. If they weren't both trapped in this town, it'd be easier. He could leave it all behind, her behind, if he even wanted to. He wouldn't see her everywhere he went, he wouldn't be reminded of her when he went to their spots, he wouldn't pass the ice cream parlor every day and wonder if she was working, and if he should stop in and say hello or cross the street to avoid her seeing him through the window. He'd never had trouble with vices; drugs, alcohol, none of it left a lingering affect on him, but Peri? She was an addiction of her own.

He didn't say anything, he only nodded. Tonight was enough. Tonight was all they were promised, wasn't it? Tomorrow was something he could worry about when it came, if it came. All he wanted to worry about right now was what was standing right in front of him, pretending their time wasn't already slipping trough the hourglass from the second he opened the door. He didn't want to waste another moment sad over what could have been, what would never be. He only wanted her.

"Don't cry, Peri," he pleaded softly, he couldn't stand to see her cry, to know it was his fault. If he could take the pain from her, if he could make her get over or forget him entirely... he liked to think he would, he liked to think he'd be strong enough to erase himself for her benefit, though deep down he wasn't sure he would be able to do it. He wasn't strong enough now, to just take a step back. "Everything's alright. I'm here." Lifting a gentle hand, he swiped his thumb underneath her eyes, removing the stray tears with it. "I'm not going anywhere." Not tonight.

[snxwpixie]

peri wanted to cry. she wanted to scream. she wanted to crawl into his chest and burrow into his heart and refuse to ever leave. she wanted him to push her away, throw her out the door, demand she NEVER see him again. peri wanted anything and everything all at once, and there was nothing she could do to stop herself as she grew more desperate. more frantic. a hiccup of a sob rose in her throat but she only allowed it to depart as a strained sigh, skin flush from tasting the memory of what once was on his tongue. more hot tears came from peri's eyes, cascading down her checks, melding into their kiss and filling it with salt, alongside a silent reminder of why this all ended in the first place.

he hadn't been honest, but neither had she, and that was part of the reason why this was something that would never work. god, did peri wish this was something that would work, especially when his hands found her waist and he made no effort to pull back from her... but as much as the two couldn't seem to leave one another, they couldn't leave their secrets either. peri felt the guilt rising in her throat, pressing her lips harder to nick's to try and will it back down into the parts of her she pretended didn't exist. some might call that willful ignorance, but peri saw it as a defense mechanism. what she chose to ignore, even if it was only temporary, couldn't hurt her.

when nick pulled back, peri's heavy set breaths and tear soddened cheeks became obvious as she had no means of distracting neither him nor her from them anymore. looking up at nick, eyes glacial and filled with emotions she couldn't name individually, peri tried to smile; it was soft, but it fell quickly, gaze flickering from his eyes to his lips then back to his eyes. god, she was in love with him, and peri wished that she felt as strongly about nick as she did about hiding who she was from him. sinking back onto her feet, peri slid her hands down from his shoulders so they were now resting atop his pecks, fisting and releasing the fabric of his shirt and dropping her gaze to his chest. ❛ i won't, ❜ peri reassured him, tongue swiping along her lower lip, swallowing hard as she brought her eyes back up to his; ❛ —not tonight. ❜

clearing her throat, she willed herself not to kiss him again, knowing if she did she wouldn't be able to stop. the urge was too strong, and so she looked over at the couch, at the wall, at the tv, at the slippers on the floor... anywhere but him to stop herself from bringing her mouth to his own once more. the blonde wiped at her cheeks with her — his — sleeves and sniffled, trying to get it together. ❛ i've missed you too, nick. i don't know how to not keep doing this.❜

It was a dangerous thing, growing attached to people, and Nick, after coming to Evermore... Nick had been stupid enough to do it twice now. He should know that outside of Judy, no one would ever stay, that he could never let them. In the end he wasn't sure if he let Peri go for her own sake or his, because while he knew that she deserved better, that no matter how hard he tried he was tied down by his past and his insecurities... he also knew he couldn't stomach her hating him if she ever found out what he was. It wasn't fair to her, and he battled the idea so many times of just telling her the truth, letting her make her own decision rather than letting it end based on assumptions. But if she looked at him the way so many others had, the way he was sure she would, with fear and disgust, he wasn't sure he would be able to handle it. He would rather be hated for being dishonest, for being a closed book, than something that was entirely out of his control.

His mistake had been falling in the first place, for being selfish enough to think it could be different, for allowing her to, for not putting an end to it before it hurt, for imagining a future with her. Even now, long after it was over, imagining what they could have been, if he had just been... different.

He allowed himself to melt into the kiss, the familiar feeling of her lips against his and her arms around his neck. The last time they'd been here, had he kissed her like it was the last time? Had he appreciated the moment the way he should have? He wasn't sure that he could, that it would ever be enough. His hands coming to rest on her sides, Nick held her as close to him as he possibly could, kissing her back with the weight of all of the things he hadn't said. He wanted to live in the moment, a moment he wished would never end so they didn't have to face reality, until he eventually had to come up for air, telling himself it was time to let her go — pulling away to say the stupidest thing he could possibly say. "Don't go. I've missed you."

[snxwpixie]

peri didn't understand why it didn't register sooner, her eyes meeting the others and feeling like she was looking right into her own. immediately, peri released the other's hands and took a step back, confusion ripe on her features and panic rising in her throat. ❛ woah, that's... that's freaky, ❜ peri breathed, speaking her thoughts aloud without thinking much about them. was someone playing a cruel joke on her ?? she had the same hair... same eyes... same nose... same everything. wait; was THIS the girl that everyone had been confusing peri for ?? it would make sene, given as the stranger looked EXACTLY like her, and the frost fairy didn't even know where to begin with questions of her own as she stammered over her own disbelief and undeniable discomfort. ❛ no but... but i think i know who you are, ❜ peri managed to get out despite the lack of air in her lungs, squinting her eyes as if testing to see if what- who- she was looking at was real. the blonde had touched the other girl, so she knew she wasn't imaginary, but for all peri knew... this could be some kind of trap.

❛ is... is your name talia, by chance ?? ❜

since her conversation with hook, it was safe to say talia hadn't been in the best of moods. she was really trying though to keep her temper from boiling to the surface. she just needed to calm down--and taking a walk seemed to be the best idea. at least the weather was brisk enough that all she could think about while walking was that she wished she had brought a heavier jacket instead. but if anything talia was clumsy, her balance slipping away from her as her feet tried to grip a surface that wasn't covered in ice. falling might've sent her overboard, but luckily she felt the grasp of another set of hands. only seeing a flash of blonde hair at first before she was finally able to steady herself again. "thank god." the fairy exhaled, laughing at the strangers words, lips parting as she were about to speak. until talia's eyes met the others. it felt like she was looking into a mirror. the same hair, the features...for a moment tink froze, wondering if she had been dreaming. there was just no possible way--maybe it was just a coincidence. "d-do i know you?" was the only thing tink could think of to say.

[snxwpixie]

peri should have regretted the request as soon as it left her lips, knowing it was stupid, knowing it was irresponsible, knowing she was just pulling the both of them deeper into something they should have never entertained in the first place... but she didn't. the fae wasn't weak, she wasn't unintelligent, but when it came to nick she couldn't make sense of why her brain couldn't accept that they had ended things for a reason. it was almost as if there was some invisible string tethering her to the man, and no matter how hard she pulled, the fibers didn't fray. in fact, the harder she fought, the stronger the tie seemed to become. nick said her name, and her lower lip wobbled, a part of her surprised he was appearing to be be the sensible one — the voice of reason. the blonde couldn't look away, despite the mist that veiled her eyes once more, despite the knot in her stomach that was begging with her to run out the front door and never look back; do what she should have done the night they agreed to end it all. not to give up, but to give in to the reality that was their situation.

but nick didn't say anything else, and the fae didn't know if that was better or worse than him speaking whatever words were on the tip of his tongue. cobalts shimmered like sun upon sheets of ice, eyes shiny like icicles as moisture hung heavy in her tear ducts, threatening to spill over onto warmth-infested cheeks. this was a bad idea, such a bad idea, but each step he took closer to her had her heart fluttering like the wings of a well-fed hummingbird. peri swallowed, but her mouth still felt dry, and when he was close enough to touch it took every ounce of willpower she had not to wrap herself up in him and never let go — even if she got hurt in the process.

nick's lips meeting hers caught her off guard, but it wasn't an unwelcome embrace as she sighed from her nostrils and lifted her arms up and over his shoulders. pressing onto the balls of her feet, peri met his kiss openly, fingers brushing up the sides of his neck before locking behind it. peri then stepped forward, closing the distance between them, a rogue tear finding its way down her cheek as she was on the brink of weeping in response to the embrace. why did she have to let this go ?? why couldn't they work this out ?? a million questions that deep down she knew the answer to pulsed through her temples, but each one was dismissed when she was brought back to the present, the weight of his kiss both in the literal and metaphorical sense grounding her, not wanting to worry herself with what this all meant, when she could just wrap herself up in everything that it didn't.

He was thinking so many things at once he could hardly focus on one, and Nick wished he'd been drinking, if only so he'd have a reason to struggle with his concentration — and self control. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought of sending her a text earlier, and he could blame it on the boredom all he wanted, curiosity that killed the cat, but the truth was Nick couldn't be alone with his thoughts for too long before they went to dangerous places. It was always easier when Judy was home, even if they weren't hanging out, just to have their company. And the reminder to not go and do something stupid. There were so many things that made him think of Peri, the chill air outside to the slippers underneath his bed, and sometimes it was just... much harder to ignore than others. Like right now.

If she had called, he could have told her not to come over. If there was distance between them still, he could have remembered why they'd ended things without wondering if it had been the right decision, the best thing for both of them. But how the hell was he supposed to listen to logic when she was staring at him like that, asking him what he wanted to know. Can we pretend? "Peri," he started, beginning to speak to tell her no, to tell her it would only make all of this so much worse. But the word refused to come out, her name tangling his tongue as he drank in the sight of her. She was beautiful, she was always beautiful, but she was prettier when she was smiling. He'd do anything to make her smile.

Stepping forward, his body seeming to be on an entirely different page than his mind, the pull to her almost magnetic. Before he could decide to be the responsible one, to do the right thing, Nick's hand cradled her face, pulling her lips into his.

[snxwpixie]

peri couldn't help the flicker of relief that graced her features when she didn't have to face the rejection of him taking back his invitation, even though she had invited it. that seemed to be a trend with the two of them; offering up the opportunity to walk away, to do the right thing, and falling right back into bad habits like clockwork. peri didn't wonder why she couldn't move on, she knew why, and it was because she didn't want to. not yet. peri wanted to hold on just a little longer. ❛ i'd rather be here with you, too, ❜ peri whispered, like they were sealing away their fate. not even questioning the decision to walk into his apartment as if it was still a space she was safe in. in a way, it was, but in a way... it was like walking into a memory and welcoming the pain that came with remembrance. kicking off her uggs by the door, sock-clad feet walked briefly along the familiar floorboards that now seemed to pulse with an alien heartbeat— had that always been there ?? turning to face him, only an arms length away and limbs still wound around herself, the blonde looked up at him with almost a glow of desperation in her features. ❛ i know we said we'd stop doing this, ❜ peri started, throat tight, gaze incapable of leaving his. ❛ — but... can we pretend ?? just one more time ?? ❜

He let out a breath he wasn't aware she was holding when she turned to look at him again, relief flooding him. He hadn't expected to see her tonight, but he wasn't sure he could handle watching her walk away again, another goodbye so soon after this hello. "Positive," he replied, trying to keep his tone casual. Trying to sound like a very big part of him didn't feel ready to fall to his knees and ask her to stay. God, it was pathetic. He just... missed her. He didn't realize how much he missed her until she was right there in front of him, and now he could feel himself relapsing; all she had to do was look at him with those sad blue eyes and there was no going back. "I didn't have any plans, I was just bored. I'd rather... be here. With you."

[snxwpixie]

god, she was spineless. absolutely spineless. the moment nick pleaded with her not to go, she couldn't. peri didn't have it within herself to turn him away, even when she was the one who had approached in the first place. she was almost wishing he'd have slammed the door in the face, it'd probably hurt less than him being nice to her. the blonde didn't think she deserved it, even if their breakup had been unavoidable; when two people did nothing but keep secrets from one another... how could things possibly work out ?? not saying anything, peri turned back to face him, trying to steady her breaths as she looked up at the man with a hopeless gloss coating her eyes. peri knew it was a last cause, but she couldn't help but wish that wasn't the case. ❛ are you sure ... ?? ❜ the fae whispered, giving him an opportunity for an out because if he invited her in again, she'd be taking it. peri didn't have the strength to fight against it. ❛ you look like you were heading out and... and i don't want to keep you from where you were going. ❜

His eyes fell to the forgotten clothing item as he tried to piece it together, still reeling from her being here, an arm's length away, after wondering about her for so long. He was immediately brought to thoughts of the other day, Angel showing up to his work with a box of things, some his. What was with the damn hoodie returns? He'd much rather his exes just keep them. It sure hurt a lot less than... this. "No, don't. Don't go." He didn't mean to say it until he did, then it was too late, and the words were out there, borderline desperate, and he couldn't take them back. And he didn't want to. He didn't want her to go; no matter what he'd said, no matter what he'd done, Nick had never wanted her to go. All of the logic in the back of his mind screaming at him, he shut down before he could think this through, before he could regret it. If only his roommate was there to slap some sense into him, take him by the shoulders and shake him. Remind him why this was a bad idea, why they should part ways before he said something stupid. "You can... keep it. And you can come in. If you want."

[snxwpixie]

peri's heart began to flutter like fairy wings in her chest, tickling her ribs as the man approached with little to no apprehension — the confidence making her stomach somersault as she smiled up at him, innocent in nature but tempting at heart. ❛ oh good, the way you were staring i thought i was wearing it wrong or something... ❜ peri mused, scooping up her freshly made cocktail, bringing the glass rim to her lips. she went to take a sip, but paused at his latter comment, a flash of amusement lighting in her eyes. normally, peri would be taken aback by the boldness but... god, she couldn't help it. men that looked like this stranger had a way of captivating her; brooding, dark, and mysterious. usually involved in some mischief peri should have no involvement in... alas, she couldn't help but dote on the fires in their eyes and they way they were so... untamed. ❛ probably, ❜ the blonde responded after recovering, holding out her hand; ❛ — i'm peri...and who might you be ?? ❜

Clubs were an easy place to lose yourself for a night and since he was off the clock, he'd decided to pay Mohan a quick visit, mood immediately lifting after a few choice powders all thanks to the Mad Hatter. He had the best stuff, everyone knew that. So, Luis was in his own little world when his eyes landed on something, someone, beautiful. And he'd always been into pretty things. Pretty little blonde things. He caught her gaze, waltzing over as though he had all the time in the world and no competition for her attention. "Nah, nothing wrong with it." He stopped in her space, reaching out to brush his fingertips along the fabric. "It's real pretty... but I gotta feelin' it'd look even prettier on my floor."

[snxwpixie]

her heart skipped a beat, or maybe a million beats, the blonde wasn't quite sure. blinking at him, peri forced herself to break eye contact and look down at her uggs, pressing the toes into the concrete porch and willing it to swallow it whole. ❛ oh — um... nothing, nothing's going on,❜ she laughed tiredly, too much breath filling her words as she reached up to swipe her sleeve across her cheeks. actually, it was his sleeve. it was the damn hoodie that had started this whole spiral anyhow. this is what she got for starting spring cleaning a month early; salt rubbed into a wound she had thought she had been starting to mend shut. apparently not. ❛ i just... i uh, you left this at my house... ❜ she stammered as her eyes found his once more, holding out her arms to reference the hoodie, the fabric of the sleeves so long on her they spilled over her hands and hung limply as she waved them about. ❛ — but i guess it doesn't make sense for me to be returning it... when i'm wearing it... i'm sorry. i really don't know why i'm here, i shouldn't have just showed up here like this. this is so embarassing, ❜ peri muttered apologetically, wrapping her arms back around herself. she took a step back, nearly stumbling over the step, catching her balance and turning her face away again. ❛ i'm just... gonna go. i'm sorry, nick. ❜

Nick didn't go out much. He wasn't a social person, outside of a select group of people that seemed to only be getting smaller, he kept to himself. Though there were many interesting places in town he could enjoy alone, the man didn't exactly have many good experiences with large crowds, so most nights he could be found in front of the television (with or without Judy), flipping through random shows and movies until he found something to hold his attention until it was a reasonable time to head to bed. For an ex-conman, he certainly didn't lead a very exciting life.

Unfortunately for him, sometimes he also grew stir-crazy, especially on days he didn't work and had spent all afternoon in the same spot. Flipping the TV off, he collected his jacket from the coat rack, slipping it on rather reluctantly, almost dreading leaving but too antsy to stay home alone. He could shoot Tootie a text, see if she was busy, but there was always a chance Judy would be coming home soon. It was better he just go waste some time in town so he could return home, hopefully less down-in-the-dumps than he was leaving. That was the plan.

Caught completely off guard as he yanked open the door to come face to face with Peri, Nick had to blink a few times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. "No, it's okay. I'm just... not busy," he managed to get out, waving his hand behind him into the empty room to showcase that. "What's going on?" His voice came out softer this time, concerned, his eyes searching her expression for an answer. "Are you okay?"

[snxwpixie]

closed: @nofoxgivcn !! location: outside nick & judy's place

this was stupid.

this was so fucking stupid.

but peri was sad. she was sad, and she was lonely, and the only person who had ever seemed to understand her was the one person she wasn't supposed to be talking to anymore. peri knew she was horrible at exercising self-restraint sometimes, but it was even more detrimental when it came to keeping herself away from nick. swaddled in her sweats, drowning in the fabric, eyes sodden with tears she couldn't stop and an ache in her chest she couldn't quell; peri's fist trembled as it raised to knock on his front door. god, what if judy answered ?? what if he opened the door and slammed it in her face ?? he had every right too... but fuck, she was helpless in the swells of heartache and felt like she was fighting against a riptide trying to resist it. before she could even knock, the door swung open, and peri was face to face with her ex and air was quick to evacuate her lungs as she stared at him, bug eyed. ❛ — oh, h-hey...❜ peri stammered, swallowing, anxiety suddenly pulsing through her. ❛ i uh.. i was just about to.. you know what... this was a bad idea. i'm sorry, i shouldn't — i shouldn't have come here. ❜

[snxwpixie]

𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒾 𝓌𝒾𝓃𝒹𝓈𝑜𝓇

peri windsor is based on periwinkle from disney fairies. she is a 28 year old fairy, employee at scoops, and uses she/her pronouns. she has the power of frost talent and flight.

penned by HARPER

reflection

face claim: virginia gardner sexuality: bisexual height: 5'2 eye color: blue hair color: blonde piercings: ear lobes tattoos: a snowflake behind her left ear

attitude

positive traits: affectionate, charming, idealistic, dependable, sensual, optimistic, objective, talented negative traits: confrontational, fanatical, perfectionist, scatterbrained, rebellious, volatile at times likes: the winter time, ice skating, baby blue & periwinkle, the way windows get frosty when it snows, fluffy ear muffs, cake batter ice cream, knotting cherry stems with her tongue, a really good book, lighting scented candles in excess, matching pajama sets & slippers dislikes: when it's hot, when snow starts to sludge, having to wear shorts, denim, flip flops, spicy food, not having crisp AC, thinking too much about the life she missed out on, being called 'talia,' the stickiness in the air after it rains, the color orange, seafood phobias: n/a hobbies: going to the frozen one ice rink or the pond when it's cold enough to skate, learning to crochet, tabbing and annotating her books, watching nature documentaries, trying to learn how to bake, making extravagant sundaes, practicing her frost talent, trying to learn anything she can about pixie hollow, dancing to trashy pop. aesthetic: the crunch of a boot on a blanket of freshly fallen snow, the sound of laughter that seems so much closer than it really is, the intricate details of a snowflake through a magnifying glass, the sound of a book pages turning late in the evening, the smell of essential oils, the tuft of a dandelion fully bloomed, a soft yawn early in the evening

relations

mother: n/a father: n/a sibling(s): talia belmont pet(s): n/a

headcanons

❆ naturally, peri is a winter girly. her human form makes her a bit more sensitive to the cold than her fairy form would be, but she doesn’t mind because she adores the aesthetic with all things winter. big sweaters, cute snow boots, ear muffs and baby blue parkas — peri thrived in the winter time, and so did her frost talent. ❆ peri’s favorite color is, shocker, baby blue. any colors that remind her of winter and ice ornament every surface in her room, from her bedspread to her wall colors, to her decor and her outfit choices. peri lives and breathes baby blue, though she is coming around to the color periwinkle for obvious reasons. ❆ peri has never really had any close friends. sure, she was a naturally social and friendly person but close friendships outside of the ones she had with the fairies who raised her ?? they had never quite happened naturally for the blonde. it disappointed her sometimes, that she didn’t have someone she could turn to all the time, but she had her family and herself and … that should be enough, right??  ❆ the blonde spent a lot of her free time ice skating, and it had become something she truly loved and naturally excelled at. peri frequented the ice rink so often that every staff member knew her by name, and her locker was almost always filled and occupied so no one made any effort to tell her to move her stuff. she was there all the time, especially when it was warm out; peri was NOT a big fan of the heat. ❆ peri loves hallmark movies. she eats up the cheesy romance like nobodies business. especially around christmas time, but really any time of the year, peri can be found late at night curled up with a half read book in her lap and a cheesy romcom she had seen a million times playing on her ipad beside her. she also loves nature documentaries — especially ones about winter seals, penguins, and polar bears. ❆ her favorite scents are peppermint, lavender, white sage, and chamomile. peri has an oil diffuser that is always running in her room and the blonde will not be caught dead without her essential oils in her purse when she is out on the town. ❆ peri is willing to pay more in her electric bill to keep her apartment at a crisp temperature so she didn’t overheat, one that would make the average person shiver when they walked in. if the AC rose anywhere above 62… she’d be sweating.  ❆ peri keeps her fairy-status pretty lowkey and doesn’t run around screaming it from the rooftops. it isn’t that she is ashamed of it, but is more so scared of having some curious somebody get in the way of her travel plans. only her closest, truest friends know about her being a winter fairy and about her past but… those are few and far between.  ❆ peri full-heartedly believes that one day she’ll be able to return to pixie hollow. she is under the impression that right now she just has to prove that she is worth of being there just like everyone else. peri believes the “evermore curse” is just something the fairies made up so she wouldn’t feel like this was some kind of punishment… but peri knows that if she just keeps trying, one day, she’ll make it there. if it’s the last thing she does, she’ll make it there.