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Just found out my tarot birth cards are The Devil and Lovers. I don't even know what to do with this information, I find that both funny and something that just makes sense

[sociallyanxious-eros]

I want to dedicate the book I'm writing to some deity, but I'm not sure which one would appreciate. It's a book describing every death I had in my dreams so far (5 dreams). There's 1 death specifically of me being hunted by a cougar, I'm dedicating this one to Freyja, but I want to dedicate the whole book to some others. I've been contacted by deities before, but I don't know exactly who they are, I want this book to be as a "thank you" for the inspiration given through my dreams

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Happy Ace Week!!! 🖤🤍💜

[sociallyanxious-eros]

The more I'm anxious, the longer my daydreaming will be. I remember having a 1h50 long daydream. This morning I had a 1h20 one. What I think is strange is that these movie-length daydreams don't even feel this long, it's mostly a single scenario, it would be such a boring movie to watch, but somehow it keeps me so entertained.

[sociallyanxious-eros]

I would prefer the concept of soul mates to not exist. It genuinely makes me anxious to think that I could have a soul mate, but there's a chance I'll never meet them, that sounds terrible. Imagine dying and never getting to know that person, that possibility kills me only to think of it.

[sociallyanxious-eros]

I already talked about my "non-beliefs", but I'll say again.

I really don't think crystals can help attract or do anything. Because of the way I view and understand energy as plasma, more of a scientific view, I don't believe rocks have such a big energy that can affect the course of things in life.

The same goes for astrology. Planets and stars do have big size energies, but it doesn't make sense to me that they affect our personal lives and personalities.

I also have a hard time believing any divination works with physical objects, like runes or tarot cards. How would an object be affected by things in the future, I don't get it. However, I think these types of works are really good for thinking about personal feelings and issues because I think everything we hear and interpret goes through our ideas and biases, so interpreting cards about personal questions, might get you answers through a psychology game.

Witchy Discussion Time!

I'm sick and stuck at home today so let's stir the pot!~

Q: What's one thing you really don't get or understand but is popular/common in witchy circles?

Also, I know I said "stir the pot" but please be respectful of others.

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My sister said my witchcraft books are attracting insects and bugs 💀

[sociallyanxious-eros]

Last night I had the cutest dream. Me and my family got our Christmas dinner prepared by gnomes 😭 it was really fun and joyful despite the warning to not eat food prepared by these beings. Fortunately, it was just a dream. I don't remember much of what the food was, I just remember a bunch of boiled eggs and corn. I also remember that I took my family there and said to them respect the gnomes and let them do their thing, but my family didn't listen and kept screwing things up, so the gnomes scared them 😭😭 it was so funny

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I'm so tired of blocking po'rn bots, I swear 🫠

[sociallyanxious-eros]

I made this post and I got some great names to investigate, thank you, but I thought it would be cool to tell the whole dream and give some context, 'cause I mentioned the elements I thought were more important and were highlighted through the dream, but maybe an outside vision could help me interpret what elements really were more important.

A small CW: about anxiety attacks and symptoms.

The description ended up being long, so I decided to put it under the cut ⬇️

The context before the dream/meeting it's important so here we go. I watched a thing that triggered a feeling that I thought I got over. I started to feel anxious the whole day, remembering all the time the subject that triggered all of this. I also judged myself a lot, because it's a thing I thought I already figured out. It was 3 days of constantly thinking "I figured this out, why am I feeling this way?" "I thought I understood this feeling, it doesn't make sense to still feel this way". 

My rational and emotional sides are always fighting and disagreeing with each other, it happens all the time, I mentally figure out the source of my feelings and why some things trigger me, but I get frustrated that even understanding this isn't enough, it isn't enough to make me stop feeling that way. This started on a Thursday, I didn't know what to do. I was advised by my therapist to just feel it because some things we just need to let go through to our emotional side to understand it, but feeling that was destroying me. 

I'm completely clueless about communication with the Gods or anything, I also am very skeptical about a lot of things, but one thing about me I knew is that I could contact them through my dreams. The problem is, I don't know how to do it by myself, what always happened was they contacted me first. I thought a lot about asking for help, but I always feel stupid saying things out loud, for some reason I feel awkward like I'm talking alone even though I'm not, so I just didn't say anything, I just cried miserably and went to sleep. 

The night from Sunday to Monday I had the dream. I don't remember all of it, I just remember when I got to that place. It was a garden, there was bright sunlight going through the trees, and it was just a wonderful and magical place. Inside that garden there was a corridor of doors, it resembled stables, where horses sleep, except it was all covered, with closed doors, no way of knowing what was inside, it looked like it wasn't even possible to open it. Whatever was behind those doors, couldn't get out, some were more hyperactive than others, bagging the door and stuff, and some were almost like there was nothing inside. The garden also had short fences that had some unidentified animals inside. When I say unidentified is because I couldn't see them properly, in my mind their image it's like a foggy silhouette light. There was a guy that guarded the doors corridor, he kept the place and he was the only one I could see the face properly. He had long brown messy hair, a mustache, and a small beard. He also was small, almost my height, 150cm something (4'11'' ft), he looked serious, always had a straight face and I don't remember him saying much. All the doors were closed, but only one was wide open. 

This one was her door, it was open because she was the only one that could wander around the garden without destroying it. 

I looked for her, she was sitting on a piano, just there. I remember when I encountered her my intuitive thought was that she was a fae, I also couldn't see her, she was a bright foggy, and white silhouette, even though I didn't see her face, I knew she smiled. It's hard for me to explain this type of dream because I don't know how to put into words that I didn't see her, but I could feel things like her intentions, the fact that she is female, and her emotions at that moment. She was really calm, in a way that looked almost naive and innocent, however, she wasn't, she just looked that way, but I know she is very wise and aware of her surroundings even though she looked disconnected. 

The "guard" called her back to her "door", she got up from the piano and without saying a word left to me a task, to take care of an animal. She "said" that this animal sometimes got anxious, scared, and would move aggressively, I just had to sit there, watch it and it would calm down. This animal I also couldn't properly see, it was quadruple and its silhouette reminded me of a snow lynx. It had times when it got erratic, moved, and jumped around their whole room, it looked anxious and scared, but it calmed down with time, I just had to sit there, watch it, and be patient. 

When I woke up I just knew this wasn't a regular dream, I'm starting to get used to this type of stuff and I'm learning to identify the differences between a regular dream and this type of contact.

Is vivid, and because it's vivid, I can remember a lot of it, I can't remember all or every single thing, but I can remember most of it.

I can't see shit lol, I mean, I can see the place, but I can't see these beings, they're always a foggy light, but somehow, I can "see" them through the feelings.

It always affects my waking life.

After the dream, I watched again what had triggered my anxiety, and nothing happened. No more crying, no more shaking, no stomach ache, no sweating. What I felt was a really small cold on my stomach that I could vividly feel that something was covering it, as if covering a snowball with hands. I told this to my therapist and she pointed out how interesting it was that I was assigned a task to basically take care of my emotions and my anxiety, and let it go through. Since then, I have looked to find out who that woman was, so I could properly say thank you. 

Regarding the names commented, Ēostre was the top 1 of my assumptions, when I first read about her I remember getting a little "tickling" feeling, but I got into a philosophical and personal beliefs rabbit hole because doing research, I found that she is pretty much a neo-pagan thing, there isn't any historical evidence of ancient pagans worshiping her, we just have a brief mention of a monk and brothers Grimm tales, so I started to think a lot what I consider to be a God/Goddess? Are deities only the ones worshiped in history, the traditional ones, or are they something that someone came up with and through time it got so believed that eventually it truly started existing? Are deities people that died and got this "role" like an afterlife, or are they something from nature itself? I feel like I could never answer these questions, but in the meantime, I have other theories regarding that one from my dream.

Other than Ēostre, I can't help but think she's a nymph, I don't know why, but I made a weird association of that guard as a satyr even though he had 0 physical characteristics of one, he just looked like a guy from earth that took care of that place. Because my first thought when I encountered her was that she was a fae, and because of her innocent "vibe", and the guy that resembled a satyr, I can't help but associate her with a nymph. I also got a comment about the Graces, and they are also ones that got me thinking more about. Regarding other Goddesses's names like Friyja, Sif, Brigid, and others, even though they were similar to what I saw, these names didn't stick in my head enough to consider something.

Maybe, she doesn't have a known name, maybe she's just a nymph or fae that helped me, but doesn't have a proper connection to me. I just think it would be great to get to know her and say thank you. Still, thanks to the comments with suggestions, they helped me think about this event and what are my true thoughts regarding deities and other spirits.

Something a bit off topic but I found fun to mention, in this place, there was a group of animals that reminded me a lot of the soot sprites from Studio Ghibli hahaha

I've been searching to know who is the deity/entity or I don't know who helped me get over some stuff. I'm looking for a female related to nature, animals, and music. Nature isn't harvesting or anything farming related, is more forest, prairie, grass, and flowers. Animals, probably felines, but I'm not 100% sure. Music, piano, and string instruments. I also think she's related to helping people going through hard times, she helped me calm down my emotions and feelings through days filled with anxiety (because of that, I theorize something related to spring). She also wasn't alone, there was a guy around the place, but I don't know much about him other than he was some sort of a guard (not in appearance, but in the role). I can't describe her appearance, I can't see properly when meeting these beings, but I can say she was tall, her "blurry blob" was very bright and white. Other things I don't know how to explain, but I just know is the fact that she is female, and a little old, not old like a grandmother, more like old like an ancient and wise being. I'm not looking through specific mythology or pantheon, but Norse Mythology elements already have appeared at other times for me, but during that meeting, I thought a lot about fae folk and also nymphs.

[sociallyanxious-eros]

I've been searching to know who is the deity/entity or I don't know who helped me get over some stuff. I'm looking for a female related to nature, animals, and music. Nature isn't harvesting or anything farming related, is more forest, prairie, grass, and flowers. Animals, probably felines, but I'm not 100% sure. Music, piano, and string instruments. I also think she's related to helping people going through hard times, she helped me calm down my emotions and feelings through days filled with anxiety (because of that, I theorize something related to spring). She also wasn't alone, there was a guy around the place, but I don't know much about him other than he was some sort of a guard (not in appearance, but in the role). I can't describe her appearance, I can't see properly when meeting these beings, but I can say she was tall, her "blurry blob" was very bright and white. Other things I don't know how to explain, but I just know is the fact that she is female, and a little old, not old like a grandmother, more like old like an ancient and wise being. I'm not looking through specific mythology or pantheon, but Norse Mythology elements already have appeared at other times for me, but during that meeting, I thought a lot about fae folk and also nymphs.

[sociallyanxious-eros]

I discovered. There's a path inside Quimbanda that uses Kaballah in its practices. But it's a significantly modified Kabbalah like there's a Christian Kabbalah, there's also a Quimbanda Kabbalah. Because of that, some people in Quimbanda (called quimbandistas) have Jewish entities in their practices, alongside the Afro-Brazilian entities (called Exu and Pomba Gira).

Now, I still don't know if they think Lilith is a Christian demon or if they know she's Jewish and just don't care. From what I've gathered, most of Quimbanda's sources state that Kabbalah isn't Jewish exclusive, that is supposed to be for everyone, which is something I'm not capable yet to confirm because I don't know much about Kabbalah, but even if it was supposed to be universal, why there are Jewish elements (like Lilith) still in it? It doesn't make sense to me.

Sources (unfortunately, all in portuguese).

(website) Casa de Quimbanda

(Book) Quimbanda Cabalística (Quimbanda's Kaballah) by Magno Constantino

Apparently, here in Brazil, there's a path of witchcraft in the local religion Umbanda called Quimbanda where Lilith is worshiped. I still don't know exactly how that happened, I know Umbanda is a mix of some African religions/practices, indigenous practices, and Spiritism, and Spiritism already has a Christian perspective of things, but I don't know where and how a demon from Judaism got into this I'm really confused

[sociallyanxious-eros]

Apparently, here in Brazil, there's a path of witchcraft in the local religion Umbanda called Quimbanda where Lilith is worshiped. I still don't know exactly how that happened, I know Umbanda is a mix of some African religions/practices, indigenous practices, and Spiritism, and Spiritism already has a Christian perspective of things, but I don't know where and how a demon from Judaism got into this I'm really confused

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I bought this book because of a good memory from when I was a teenager that reading this book made me feel so good for 3 days straight, but, reading with today's knowledge, this book is (as we call here in Brazil) a bomb. It's explosively bad, and my dumbass didn't search for the author prior to discover it's a theosophy new age crap, lol

Translation of the title: The Nature Spirits. It's supposed to be a book about elementals, fair folk. Also, I discovered that this book, technically, doesn't exist, it's chapters from other books by C W Leadbeater and it exists only in portuguese and castellano

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I need some help improving my vision when astral projecting and/or having psychic dreams. It's just so blurry, I think being blurry is one of the things that makes me kind of scared to navigate (also makes me skeptical of what I saw

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I just discovered the meaning of the word 'tankie'. It makes me more worried and careful when talking about politics in another language because I know 'liberal' has a way different meaning in the US than here in Brazil. And I don't mean this as a translation thing, but more as a political meaning, it seems like in the US being a liberal or neoliberal is, somehow, on the left side of the political ideology spectrum. Even though I'm on the left side of the spectrum, being called a liberal would be an offense, ngl