sockaeologist

[sockaeologist]

[sockaeologist]

Sign at my local movie theater that feels like a desperate warning

[sockaeologist]

"What Haunts in Vegas.........stays in Vegas!"

The hypothetical college trio series includes many hard hitting episodes, including this one where Vlad's in drag and has to seduce a short, sleazy human trafficking ringleader while Jack and Maddie play cards in the casino and distract the bodyguards.

This has been sitting in my drafts forever and I probably won't finish it any time soon (i wanted to adapt most of it into a longer comic) so here's a summary of the ensuing shenanigans and gags:

I love the idea that a series about Jack, Maddie and Vlad would feature a lot of stories about organized crime with a ghostly twist, so this is a reflection of that.

The trio plus Agents K and O set up a trap within a ritzy Vegas casino. Vlad, disguised as the silver vixen bait, is thoroughly incensed by his humiliating role but also ironically looks like enough of an effortless knock-out in a slinky black dress that the ruse seems to work on Petri. (Earlier, Vlad exclaimed to Maddie that only "an idiot" would fall for this disguise, followed immediately by Jack not recognizing him and wondering "who the broad in black is", only proving Vlad's point.)

The height difference between Petri and Vlad is so ridiculous that Vlad (who is wearing high heels) doesn't even initially notice when Petri approaches him to hit on him.

Another silly angle that makes Vlad a comically tailor-made fit for the role of Petri's seducer is the fact that Petri is a wine and cheese snob and prefers his women to be "cultured" in that regard. Vlad can't be out-snobbed on either front, so it nearly turns into a pissing contest of who's enjoyed the more exotic and expensive pairing.

Petri asks the 6'3 silver haired goddess sitting next to him if her hair is naturally silver, and Vlad stays in character to say yes, but it was caused by a great deal of stress brought on by her "oafish buffoon of an ex-husband" which prompts Agents K and O to tell Vlad to stick to the script through Vlad's bugged earring, and Jack in the other earring to express surprise that he didn't know his best buddy was married and why didn't he tell him?!

(A vein pulses in Vlad's temple, but he maintains a nostalgic expression for Petri's sake while he discreetly reaches up and mercilessly crushes his earring between his fingertips with an electronic crunch. Agent O turns to Agent K in the hotel suite they're monitoring the mission from. "Heels destroyed his comm." "...This is the last time we work with civilians.")

At some point, an increasingly smarmy Petri places his hand on Vlad's leg, and an uncomfortable Vlad's instinctive reflex is, unfortunately, to choke him.

While all of this is taking place, Jack and Maddie are playing the tables alongside Petri's lieutenants. The idea is that when Vlad lures Petri to the suite where Agents O & K will apprehend him, they will safely subdue the henchmen.

Vlad does manage to get Petri into the hotel room, but things immediately go off the rails at that point. Agents K and O have been incapacitated off screen, and Petri reveals he suspected that this was all a set up from the beginning, so he took the liberty of removing the dangerous element from the equation. Meanwhile, Jack and Maddie have their hands full as subduing the henchmen goes poorly and it turns out a large portion of the casino customers seem to be currently overshadowed. A massive fight breaks out.

The GIW files assumed that Petri Fyer was a human, but Vlad had clocked almost immediately upon meeting him that he's actually a ghost overshadowing a human being. Petri Fyer is actually Petrifyer, a large, monstrous ghost that resembles a toad. He departs from his human host to confront Vlad. Petrifyer has a paralytic venom that stuns humans and renders them immobile, so he uses it on Vlad and gleefully tries to decide what he should do with all of them.

It becomes apparent that Petrifyer understood that the whole situation was a set up, but he totally missed the fact that Vlad wasn't who he said he was, and since the paralytic venom is only effective on human beings, Vlad manages to break out of the paralysis by forcing a transformation.

Petrifyer vs. Plasmius ensues, there's some back and forth where Petri is 1) shocked he got catfished, 2) shocked he got catfished by the half-ghost billionaire who tried and failed to take over the world during the global meteor incident, and 3) still very into Vlad despite literally everything that is going on. Vlad proceeds to cheerfully beat the stuffing out of him.

Jack and Maddie manage to husband-wife power couple their way through ALL of the ghost-guests, wrecking the casino in the process. By the time they make it to the hotel room for back up, Vlad is standing in the middle of a destroyed suite, red heels in hand, Agents K and O groaning on the floor, and the dastardly ghost/human duo restrained. Vlad shoots his friends a withering glare and tries to wipe his lipstick off with the back of his hand. It just smears.

Petri turns out to be a case of true possession (over shadowing being short-term and possession being long-term). The meek, unconfident, ordinary gas station employee, Patrick Fitz, is consensually allowing the sleazy toad-like ghost Petrifyer to use his body to navigate the human world and make them both rich.

Once in custody, Patrick and Petrifyer attempt to elicit sympathy from Vlad due to their similar positions and affinity for "ghost-human relations." Vlad just sneers at them and says he is so far out of their league in every possible way they might as well be on different planets.

The mission ends, Jack immediately forgets he signed a non-disclosure agreement, and Maddie practices her card game skills. (Afterward, Vlad offers Maddie a much more understanding apology for the way he used to treat her, and thanks her for not killing him at any point during those days.)

[sockaeologist]

Yes geologists! Doing the important work 💖

[sockaeologist]

Little over 100 pages into GtN, and I have to say, I really love Dulcinea!! She might be my favorite character besides Gideon, she’s just so interesting.

[sockaeologist]

Cupid missed

[sockaeologist]

let’s eat decomposing plant material with mama

[sockaeologist]

finding out danny phantom fans are sick of dc/batman crossovers clogging THEIR tags is frying me idk why I never considered that. we are in the same damn boat omg

[sockaeologist]

Pride-sopods 💚

They are up in my shop! Ko-fi.com/citrusyeen

[sockaeologist]

I went to this Northwest Passage museum once where they had the white explorers' journals on one side of the exhibit and the native people's accounts on the other side of the exhibit and the explorer journals were like "our canoe had almost sunk when we encountered some kindly Indians" and the native histories were like "we watched a bunch of strangers come down the river in the shittiest canoe you'd ever seen. Also, they had no rain gear"

[sockaeologist]

i would give birth 99 times and put them all up for adoption and then have kne more kid who i keep so that they can have some sort kf fucked up version of survivors guilt

[sockaeologist]

The family Channichthyidae are more commonly known as icefish, and they are the only known vertebrates that lack hemoglobin in their blood as adults. As a result their blood is white and their skin appears translucent.

©

[sockaeologist]

Would you rather have a Phineas and Ferb summer or a Gravity Falls summer?

would you rather have endless fun forever or have satan attack you every day

[sockaeologist]

a detailed list of things i hate

hot weather

high temperatures

heat

warmer than average conditions

[sockaeologist]

on that immortality grindset

[sockaeologist]

Two ladybirds having a shag that i edited cbat over

[sockaeologist]

we are so back