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soffsh2 · 11 months ago

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Office Hours

Warnings: Contains mature content (Minors DNI, 18+)

Plot Summary: One of the University’s library attendants catches your eye through a series of standoffish encounters with her.

God, you are so fucking late. How the hell did you manage to sleep through all your alarms? Your partners and you had agreed to meet up at 4 p.m. in the study room, and it was already 4:10 while you sprinted through campus in an attempt to make it there as soon as possible. As you run, you type out an apology message to them, telling them that you’ll get there as quickly as you can, but that didn’t help the fact that when you arrived, you had no idea where the study room was.

You transferred to Brown just this year, so you were still figuring out where buildings were and how they were laid out, much to your own embarrassment. Nothing has ever been more humiliating than asking a freshman for directions to the junior dorms. Nevertheless, the directions to your specific room would be a problem you’d deal with when you actually got there.

You ran for a few minutes before you finally made it to the library. In your haste, you almost slam into the sliding glass doors that are just slightly too slow to open. Walking into the university’s library, you look back at the text your group mates sent. ‘I booked room 125 for us.’ Okay, perfect. All you needed to do was figure out where that was, and you’d only be a few minutes late; they’d understand.

Admittedly, this was the first time you’d been in the university’s library since transferring, so you were a little awestruck. The inside was far more grandiose than you were expecting; the chandeliers and many rows of books made it look like something out of Hogwarts. Right in the middle of the library foyer, there was a large wooden desk where a brown-haired library attendant sat, reading a book. It seemed that she was your best bet to find where you were meant to go.

You walk up to the large desk adorned with a small metal bell and stand in front of her, waiting to be acknowledged, to no avail. She seems far too engrossed in her reading to see you were there, in need of directions. “Excuse me?” You try. The brunette ignores you and keeps her eyes trained on her book. "Um, excuse me?” You repeat, giving her the benefit of the doubt that she didn’t hear you. This time, instead of outright ignoring you, she gives you a pointed look over her book and then goes back to reading. Well, there was no way you could give her the benefit of the doubt now.

“I was wondering if you could help me find this study room—” Without even looking up from her book, she cuts you off by pointing to a sign on the desk that reads, ‘Please Keep Quiet in the Library.’ You can’t help the insulted expression that makes its way onto your face. You’re able to catch a smirk on her face before she returns to being stoic. To add insult to injury, she spins her chair to face her back towards you. Oh, she was not making this easy.

You stand there for a moment trying to figure out what to do from here, as the brown-haired girl made it obvious she was not in the mood to assist you. But you still needed help, and she was your best bet. So you were determined to get her to be the one to help you, if not to just be a bother. You have an idea. Reaching for a piece of paper from your bag and taking a pen off the desk, you scribbled something down.

You press down on the bell that you saw as soon as you approach the desk. You can see the girl cringe at the sound, but she didn’t move besides that, keeping her back facing you. You were hoping for that. You hit the bell again, then again, and suddenly barraged the bell. Pressing incessantly until the ringing was too much for her to bear.

The girl turns around angrily, snatching the bell from under your hand. She got as up into your face as she could with the desk separating you, both hands planted on the wood to stabilize herself. “What?!” She tries to keep her shout as hushed as possible, but it wasn’t a valiant effort, as evidenced by the several shushes heard from students in the vicinity of the shouting.

With her attention now on you, you point at the sign that she had used to dismiss you earlier, with an all too pleased look on your face. You can see her jaw locking in frustration and her eyes narrowing at you. Boy, she had a temper on her. If looks could kill, you would’ve been dead and buried several times over at this point. Deciding that you had angered her enough and because you were a little intimidated, you held up your paper that read, “Where is study room 125?”

She groans before pointing somewhere vaguely behind her and to the right. You mouthe a ‘thank you’ to her and were about to head towards where she pointed when she gathered a couple books into her arms and shoulder checked you as she passed, heading somewhere deeper into the library.

You hike your backpack strap up higher onto your shoulder before sparing one last glance at the girl's desk. Noticing something new that revealed itself once she was out of the chair: a blue and yellow varsity jacket with a name written out in cursive. ‘Shauna?’ you read. You hum at the newfound name of the brunette. She was kind of pretty when she was mad.

==================================

The next time you ended up in the library was to check out a couple books for a research assignment. After browsing around for a bit, you finally gathered the books you needed for your paper. Sauntering up to the check-out desk, you were about to mark this errand down as a success. That is, until you saw who the attendant was. It was the brunette from your previous encounter.

She hadn’t yet noticed you, or maybe she had forgotten the whole first encounter entirely. You were hoping it was the latter. She turns her back and is organizing some paperwork when you finally muster up the courage to approach. You place the books that you've gathered on the desk and speak up.

“Hello, checking out, please.” You say it in a much more confident tone than you’d had in your first meeting, hoping she can’t recognize your voice.

“Sure, one sec—” She turns around as she responds, and as soon as she makes eye contact with you, she scoffs. You guess she remembers you. It was a fair response; you didn’t exactly leave the best first impression. Then again, neither did she.

She looks like she wants to do anything in her power to avoid assisting you, but she knew how that ended the last time. So, she begrudgingly began the check-out process of scanning and recording all of the first book's information. She was silent in between the flapping open of the pages and covers, the beep of the scanner, and the glares she’d shoot your way. The intensity of her gaze made you want to speak, even though the better part of your mind knew you shouldn’t.

“I guess you didn’t forget the first time we met, huh?” She didn’t acknowledge you at all this time, continuing to scan and log the books. A slight tinge of guilt washes over you, making you want to apologize, more so to not have awkward encounters with her going forward. You knew your workload would make you spend a lot of time in the library, and you’d be avoiding her a lot if you didn’t make amends. “I’m sorry about that, by the way. I just needed help; I wasn’t looking to annoy you. My name is Y/n; I only transferred here this year.”

You assume your apology fell upon deaf ears because she is deathly silent for a few seconds, the only sounds being pages turning and a distant cough somewhere in the library. She doesn’t even look up from her little check-out process when she responds.

“You know, you interrupted a really good book.” The way she said it made it sound like more of a warning than a joke. You inhale slightly and mumble another apology. She hesitates for a moment, as if she were deciding what to say next, if anything. “It’s Shauna, by the way.” You’d gathered as much after the previous meeting, but you’d never tell her that. You were thankful for any interaction with the girl where she didn’t look like she wanted to kill you.

There’s a pause once again as she scans each book and stacks it onto the ones she's already done. She says nothing more to you, so you assume she’s finished with the conversation. You open up your bag to make room for the books and grab your library card as she places the final research book on the stack.

“Is that all? What about that one?” She gestures at your own book that you had just removed from your bag to fit the other books into.

“Oh no, this one’s mine.” You hold up the paperback copy to show which book you’re referring to. Upon this action, however, allows her a closer look at the state of your reading material. She looked absolutely mortified.

“Oh my god, it looks like a mess; it’s practically falling apart. And you dog-ear the pages? Are you a criminal?” To say her outburst surprised you was an understatement. You pull the book back to your body and recoil. She’s scolding you over your own book? You look at it again. It looked perfectly fine to you. Maybe a little worn out at the crease, and yeah, dog-eared pages, but it wasn’t hanging on by a thread like she made it out to be.

“What are you talking about? It looks fine. And of course I do; how am I meant to know where I left off without marking it?” You argue, getting defensive and slightly embarrassed as you try to shove the book back into your bag.

“Um, use a bookmark, like a civilized human? God, are you a toddler? That’s like basic book etiquette.” She says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

"Jesus, am I getting lectured right now? Just give me my books so I can leave.” You shove your library card into her hands and stand there impatiently. You should’ve guessed that she’d be pretentious about something even as stupid as this. And to think you apologized for being bitchy. Shauna scans your card and grabs something behind her computer before she goes on her librarian schpeel.

“Please return the books within the allotted time. If you need an extension on the return date, please come back so we can adjust and you don’t get fined. If the books are missing or returned damaged…” She puts emphasis on that word and looks you in the eye. “Then you will be fined the full amount for a new copy of the same book. Thank you.” She finishes it off by handing you back your card with a sickly sweet smile that was so fake you wanted to roll your eyes. You start wrapping your hands around your books before she speaks up one final time.

"Also, learn to use this so you don’t destroy any more books.” She tosses a bookmark at you before going back to organizing the paperwork she put on hold to help you. The bookmark itself is almost insulting. It looks like one you’d get at the scholastic book fair as a kid, showcasing a worm with glasses and the phrase ‘Reading is cool’ in big, bold letters.

You wanted to retaliate; in fact, it seemed like she was hoping you would, loving every second of locking horns with you. But to your absolute dismay, you could think of nothing. You gathered your books and walked away, catching the smug grin that graced her lips as she caught sight of the bookmark that you took with you.

==================================

You found yourself back at the library once again, working on an essay for class. You had gotten there in the late afternoon, and since your arrival, the sky has grown dark and the light drizzle has turned into an outright downpour. You were relieved you’d brought your umbrella earlier; otherwise, the walk back to your dorm would be miserable. You had to give it to your parents; you didn’t think an umbrella was a necessity when packing for college. Boy, did they prove you wrong. However, you still thought that them having your initials etched onto the handle was a bit much, ‘in case someone stole it’ they said.

Gathering up all your books and all the items you’d had strewn about on the library table, you pack everything to head home. While you walk towards the exit, you take notice that you’re one of the few people still remaining in the building; everyone else was probably smart enough to get back before the rain picked up.

At the entrance, you find Shauna standing at the doorway but making no effort to go outside. She looked mad; she always seemed to have an upset expression on her face. You pull off your headphones that you wore when you were studying to address her. The loud music no longer playing in your ears allowed you to hear the rolling thunder that sounded off every few seconds. You decided you had a minute to spare to let the thunder pass before you continued back to your apartment. So you stood next to her, waiting for a pause in the rain so you could leave, but nothing came.

After a few minutes of standing next to her without either of you saying a word, you finally break. “Hey, waiting on a ride?” You ask, your morbid curiosity about the angry girl getting the better of you. She turns at the sound of your voice but groans upon seeing who was talking to her and turns back to face outside.

“How am I always stuck with you?” It’s a barely audible mumble, but you can hear it. She finally turns and fully faces you, leaning her back against the wall. “But to answer your question, no. I walked today, and my roommate doesn't have her license, so she can’t pick me up.” She sighs.

You give her a sympathetic look. "Oh, that sucks. Do you have far to walk?” A crack of thunder sounds during the pause for Shauna’s response. She cringes and looks miserable at the idea of walking any distance in that storm.

“I live off campus.” She says finally, after the roaring sound stopped. Jeez, that would be a long walk, and she is definitely not layered properly to brave that weather.

“Yikes, that will definitely take a while.” She groans at your statement.

”God, I’m going to kill Jackie.” The roommate, you presume, “She told me to dress light today because it’d be hot. I’m gonna be drenched when I get home.” You give her a sympathetic look before reaching into your backpack and pulling out your umbrella.

“Here.” You stand up and hold it out to her. She looked confused at it for a second, her narrowing eyes shifting between you and the umbrella you held in your hand. She quickly gathers that you were being genuine and tries to deny it.

“No, I can't take your umbrella.” She says pushing your hand back to your body.

“Don’t worry about it; I’ll be fine. I live in one of the university apartments, so it won’t take too long for me to get back. Just take it.” You hold it out again and place the umbrella in her arms.

“Are you sure? How am I gonna get it back to you?”

“Positive. And don’t sweat it; I’ll be here almost every day to study, so you can give it back whenever you get a chance.” At that, you pull the hood of your jacket over your head, leaving no room for her to argue further. “Later.” You say to her as you head out the door, and you’re sure you saw a small smile on her face as you left.

==================================

You were hoping that the most recent interaction between you and Shauna was enough to spark some sort of friendly behavior between the two of you, and you were eager to get back to the library and have her return the umbrella with a gracious smile and a ‘thank you.’ Only that’s not what happened.

In reality, you would find it waiting at the entrance with a post-it note saying ‘Y/n’ placed right over the initials on the handle. No Shauna, smile, or anything. It wounded you a bit, but you guess Shauna wasn’t that type of girl. But certainly, it was enough of a kind gesture that you’d be able to go up and talk to her.

You’d caught her sorting out books in the rows of bookshelves by the private study room that had become your usual go-to place. Shauna had noticed you frequenting the room, catching her staring a few times while you worked on an assignment for class. Lucky for you, you needed to find a book to continue working, and she happened to be right there, so what was the harm of asking her?

Sauntering up to her side as she was replacing all the novels in their rightful spot, she took no notice of you until you were right next to her. You awkwardly drummed your hands against the hardwood shelf.

“Shauna, just the girl I wanted to see! Listen, can I get your help with—”

“I’m going to stop you right there, new kid.” The nickname made you feel juvenile; you couldn’t describe the immediate effect all her words had on you. It put you on edge in an instant. Making you stand stiffer and putting on a face of confusion as she continued.

“What you did the other day, that was really nice. But just because you’re nice to me one time doesn’t mean I’m gonna like you, or wanna be friends or anything. Don’t expect any niceties from me.”

Obviously, you didn’t assume that you and her would become best friends after, but you’d thought you’d get some cordial interactions with Shauna going forward. So hearing each word was like a blow to the stomach. You couldn’t pinpoint why you wanted some semblance of a friendship or even an acquaintanceship with her. Either way, the sentiment hurt a lot more than you were willing to show, so you put on a brave face.

“Oh… I didn’t assume.” Your smile only faltered for a moment before you managed to put on a neutral expression, trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing. A part of you was hoping it was a practical joke, but Shauna doesn’t seem the type.

“Perfect, glad you’re on the same page.” Shauna flashes you a tight-lipped smile with a pair of raised eyebrows as she pushes past you. If you were grasping at straws, you would say it was at least more gentle than the first time she shoulder bumped you, but that just made you seem pathetic.

Once Shauna was out of sight, going up the stairs to the next floor, you had to resist the urge to shout out ‘You’re welcome’ at her. You returned to your study room without the book you set out to get and with a small ache in your chest.

==================================

You began to make it a habit to run into Shauna if you saw that she was working. Attempting to give her a friendly smile or greeting here and there when you could, but her words stayed fresh in your mind. ‘Just because you’re nice to her once doesn't mean she liked you.’ You gave the sentence a lot more thought than you’d care to admit. If at all possible, you were somehow more determined to make her like you after she said that, which you’re sure wasn’t the goal.

It felt as if every time you caught sight of her, your leg was bouncing up and down like you were an addict experiencing withdrawals. You debated continuing the not-caring act, hoping that your indifference to her dislike towards you would give her pause about the whole thing. Then you thought about being super positive and affectionate, but you’re positive you’d get punched in the face with that approach.

In truth, you were just desperate for any excuse to talk to her. You’d plan all sorts of things to say or do that would require her to assist you, but you'd always find yourself too nervous to even bother. It became apparent that half of your time in the library was spent working while the other half was trying to find a way to change her mind.

Another rainy day where you found yourself going to the library had you hoping that maybe Shauna would need to borrow your umbrella again. It wasn’t necessarily a great plan; in truth, it was probably the worst plan you had conceived thus far, but it was the nicest interaction you’d had with her, and you wished to replicate it if you could.

After studying for hours, you decide to call it a night and start packing up. The sun was about to set from what you could see from the windows, and the rain had certainly lightened up, which put a wrench in your plan. After packing up your bag, you head towards the front desk, only pausing when you see Shauna at her desk talking to another student.

The girl had an inviting smile while she spoke animatedly to Shauna, and Shauna wore a warm expression with her as well. You couldn’t help the small pang of jealousy that surged through you. She’d never acted like that with you; why would she be like that with this girl that you’d never even seen in the library before? You hadn’t seen Shauna so at ease conversing with someone while she worked. Every other student that you had seen approach her got the same sour expression. Like she was annoyed that anyone would disturb her by asking her to do her job.

Shauna exits from behind the desk and heads off somewhere while the girl she was talking to turns and sits down on one of the benches. You walked up to the desk while Shauna was gone, waiting for her to come back so you could maybe offer up the umbrella, but all you could do was stare at the other girl, who was seemingly waiting for Shauna as well.

She sat, scrolling through her phone, in her rain-soaked ‘Brown University Soccer’ sweatshirt. Her hair was slightly dampened on her forehead as well, but she wore the look so well that you’d think it was intentional. She was a pretty girl, no doubt about that. You could understand why Shauna had a soft smile on her face when she spoke to her. Frankly, you’d think any attention from this girl would be flattering.

Almost as if she felt your eyes on her, the girl looks up from her phone and catches you staring at her. You quickly avert your eyes, but you can still feel hers boring into the side of your face, then quickly raking over you before landing on your hands. She hums slightly, as if she found what she was looking for, before she makes her way over. You can hear the sound of her footsteps approaching you and feel her presence beside you before she speaks up. “Hey, you.”

Her raspy voice and flirtatious tone made you understand Shauna’s warmth towards the girl. You wished you could just stay looking straight, but the girl's acknowledgment made you turn your head towards her. "Oh, you’re cute.” The compliment caught you off guard. The way she said it was slightly like an observation, like she was judging you, and then slightly like she was flirting with you on her own.

“Uh, thank you.” You say it a little hesitantly, hoping it doesn’t come off as ungrateful. She points to your hand.

“That umbrella, it's yours, right?” Shit, you forgot you even had the thing on you. You nod, a little confused at her question, before she throws her arms around you and wraps you in a tight hug.

“Oh my gosh, you’re the one that let Shauna borrow it! You’re literally a lifesaver. I thought she was gonna come home soaking wet and strangle me.” Though the tone of voice she used was chipper, what she was saying was mildly concerning. She pulls away with a smile, but you guess your hesitance showed on your face as she quickly follows her sentence up with “But she didn’t, obviously.” She reaches out her hand with a smile. “I’m Jackie, Shauna’s roommate.”

You inwardly smack yourself for being stupid before smiling, taking Jackie’s hand, and introducing yourself. Jackie starts yapping at you as if you were her best friend. You liked Jackie; she was super friendly and upbeat, which was a real switch-up from her roommate.

“I’m surprised I haven't seen you in here; I spend nearly every day in this place.”

"God, yeah, I don’t come here too much. I came from class and didn’t pack a hoodie or anything, so I dropped by to ask Shauna for a ride home after her shift was over.” In the nicest way, you couldn’t see her spending too much time in the library; you just wish she did. She seems like the kind of person you’d want to hang out with.

“I’m still a little confused; how’d you know it was me that lent it to her?” Jackie scoffs with a smile.

“That stupid little engraving, silly.” If anyone else had said that, you’d have been slightly offended on behalf of your parents, but Jackie had an inflection in her tone that made it sound obviously dumb. Not to mention, she was inherently right.

“Oh god, you two met.” Shauna’s voice breaks through both of you, making you and Jackie turn to her. She’s got that blue and yellow letterman jacket on now, looking like she was about to head out with Jackie. Shauna looks at you. “What did you need?”

“Shauna, be nice!” Jackie cuts in, scolding her friend, and then looking at you with a smile. You subtly try to hide the umbrella behind your form, suddenly embarrassed at the original plan.

“Oh, just stopping by to say ‘goodnight.’” You feel yourself get a little red with both Jackie and Shauna’s attention on you. They both seem to take the reason at face value, which you’re thankful for because if they questioned you, you’re sure you’d stumble through the excuse. You avert your eyes too quickly to notice Shauna with a small smile, but Jackie doesn’t. When you look back, there’s a neutral expression on Shauna's face, but Jackie has a look of utter elation.

“So Y/n,” Jackie starts. “We have to make plans outside of university; we have to go get drinks or something. All three of us.” She puts emphasis on ‘three’ while pulling Shauna closer to the two of you.

"Oh, Jackie, that’s sweet, but I wouldn’t wanna disturb Shauna outside of office hours.” You say it with a teasing tone, but it genuinely is a fear of yours. Shauna said as much. You weren’t friends. But it seemed that Shauna couldn’t ignore the influence Jackie had.

“No, maybe we should sometime. When the semester calms down, She says it as casually as she can, so you couldn’t dare read into it more than she allowed. She turns to Jackie before you can respond. “You ready to go?” Jackie nods her head like a toddler and starts walking out. It seemed like they were going to leave you behind when she stopped and turned back towards you. “Are you going to walk out with us?”

You’re not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so you happily trot next to them and walk out to the parking lot. You say your farewells to the two girls, Jackie being much more personable than Shauna when saying goodbye, and start heading towards the dorm while they walk to Shauna’s car. As you get further away from the pair, you can faintly hear Jackie squealing at Shauna. “Shauna, she's so cute!”

“Don’t even think about it, Jackie.”

“Not for me, for you!”

==================================

God, this new schedule was kicking your ass. You had to kick studying into high gear as exams approached. Going to class early and staying late, talking to professors, and spending almost twice the amount of time studying. You haven’t slept properly in days, needing to dedicate any extra time that you have to studying. All those instances in which you chose to study over sleep culminated in the situation you currently find yourself in.

A loud thud beside your ear jolts you from your slumber, and you hazily take in your surroundings. This wasn’t your bedroom; oh god, you fell asleep in the library? You look up at whoever woke you up and see Shauna with a disgruntled look on her face. She gathers up the books she dropped right by your head.

“It’s past close. Get out.”

“You know, you should really work on your customer service skills.” She gives you a shrug and waits for you to get moving, but otherwise she doesn't acknowledge your slight against her. You try to wipe the haziness from your eyes and adjust. It was a familiar type of feeling, like when you’d fall asleep in the car as a kid and wake up in your bedroom. You’re unfamiliar, a little uneased and so tired still. Looking at the time on your phone, you curse, suddenly feeling so bad about being the reason Shauna was still here so late. “Shit, I’m really sorry; I didn’t mean to keep you here.”

Your actions are slow as you gather up all your books that are scattered around the table in the private room. Shauna had as sympathetic a look as she was able to muster, which wasn’t much given who she was.

“Didn’t sleep last night?” She sounds like she was only half interested in your answer. You shake your head tiredly and sigh.

“Nah, since exams are around the corner, I’ve been taking extra time. And my studying runs too late, so the coffee shop closes before I get out. I can’t function without caffeine and on such little sleep.” She hums at your words and turns to walk away from you once she’s seen that you’ve almost gathered everything.

“You have drool on your cheek, by the way.” Shauna says, pointing to her own cheek to give you direction. Absolutely mortified, you quickly wipe at your face, trying to dry it. When you look at her again, Shauna smirks at you. You tried to say something in defense of yourself, but you truthfully had nothing. Even if you did, you’d think you were too tired to try.

You brush past Shauna and out the library doors and slowly wander back to your apartment and your bed.

The next day, you were back in the library at about the same time that you arrived yesterday. Only this time, when you went to the study room you always booked, there was a cup left behind with a small post-it note attached to it. ‘Just so you don’t fall asleep in here again, I wanna leave on time - Shauna.’

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Shauna and having a place to study weren’t the only reasons you came to the library, though. Sometimes you were simply looking for reading material. The latest trendy book was making its way through the recommendation lists, and you were finally convinced to get it. The only problem was that the local Barnes & Noble sold out of all their copies. Your friend told you there was a copy available in the library, so you went there to try and find it. You just so happened to be going during Shauna’s hours, which you were unaware of until too late.

Approaching the desk without sparing a glance at the attendant that was working while you pulled up the name and author of the book on your phone.

“Hi, I’ve been looking for this book, I—”

"Oh, hey, transfer kid.” The familiar voice startled you. Your voice catches in your throat, suddenly horrifyingly aware that you were about to get Shauna to help you find a cornier version of a Wuthering Heights-type tragic-romance story.

“You said you were looking for a book?” Your mind goes blank, trying to think of any book title that would make you seem cool and intelligent. You had nothing. You try to hide your phone screen so Shauna can’t see the cover or name, desperately trying to protect her image of you. It being one of those sad romance books, you were positive that Shauna would make fun of you for it.

After you don't respond, Shauna takes it upon herself to glance at the screen before you can properly hide it.

“Is that the one? Here, lemme see if I can find it.” Shauna gestures to your phone in hand, and you weigh the options. This did seem to be the only way you’d get your hands on a copy, so you hesitantly handed her your phone.

Upon seeing the specific book you were trying to check out, Shauna’s reaction was not immediately making fun of you, which was surprising. Rather, she wore an introspective face before giving you a sympathetic look.

"Oh, sorry, the library copy is out, and there’s a long waitlist.” God, of course you’d embarrass yourself for nothing. Now Shauna would think you were one of those romance novel girls; that’s humiliating. You can’t help but let your disappointment slip into your reaction.

“Dammit, I was actually really looking forward to reading it.” Shauna looks as if she was contemplating something before looking at you with an intent expression. “Wait here; I’ll be right back.”

She swiftly heads towards the back office of the library, leaving you alone standing at the front desk. You shift momentarily before Shauna returns, a book in hand. As soon as she’s in front of you, she gives the book to you; miraculously, it was a copy of the novel you were looking for.

“What? No way, you have a copy?” You excitedly grab the book and skim through it. It looked like it had already been read back and forth; the margins on every other page were littered with annotations. It takes only a moment for it to click, and your smile drops. “Shauna, I can't borrow this; it’s yours.”

You try to hand it back to her, and she steadfastly backs away from your outstretched hand, trying to return the novel to her.

“No, take it and read it. You wanted to.” It’s the most sincere Shauna has ever been with you. Her insistence made you blush. She looks like she knew she won the argument because she smirked at you. “Just promise me you’ll use that bookmark.” Shauna seemed to be more of a romantic than she’d led you to believe.

==================================

After studying for weeks on end, your friends finally convince you to head out to a party for one night. ‘It’s not going to kill you.’ They said. Well, they aren’t waist deep in final projects and essays in their new school. Whatever will shut them up for a few days, and maybe you missed going out a little.

Arriving at one of the already packed sorority houses, your friends disperse to collect alcohol from the kitchen area and leave you alone. If you were going to be away from your desk and unable to study, you were at least going to make the most of it, you supposed. Very quickly, you find yourself wandering around the party, pouring shots of vodka down your throat like water. You’d worry about the hangover when it came, for now you were focusing on the fun. An hour or so passes when you decide to try and find your friends.

Stumbling into a different room, you see a familiar figure off in the corner, nursing her drink and looking into the crowd of people dancing. Shauna was certainly a sight; even in your drunken stupor, you could see she looked stunning. Trading in her usual flannel for an eye-catching red dress, you’re sure due in no small part to Jackie’s insistence.

You approach her, the drink in your hand sloshing as you walk, as she’s still staring somewhere deep into the crowd. You startle her slightly when you speak.

“Hey, Shauna.” You slur out.

“Oh Jesus. Hey.” She clutches her chest slightly before offering you a small smile. She takes you in for a second and scoffs gently. She raises her eyebrow at you, questioningly. “How plastered are you? You smell like a distillery.”

You pout at her, "Oh, come on, Shauna, can’t a girl live?” Shauna rolls her eyes at you and focuses back on the crowd. “I wouldn’t have guessed this to be your scene.” You try. You’re not sure Shauna can hear you; she's staring so intensely in the same direction as before. Your curiosity gets the better of you.

“What’re we looking at?” You try to find out who she's staring at and find Jackie in Shauna’s sight line.

“Trying to make sure that girl doesn't make the mistake of getting back with her ex.” You look next to Jackie and see a blonde boy next to her, eyeing her up and down as she does her best to ignore him.

“Jesus,” You squint to get a good look at the guy. “He looks like he bathes in Axe.” Jackie dated him? She must’ve been doing charity work or something. You grimace at Shauna.

“You can smell him walk into a room before you see him.” She confirms with a smirk. You gag at the thought. You look back to Jackie, who was already excitedly making her way over, leaving her ex behind. As soon as she gets to you, she wraps you in a tight hug.

“Y/n!” She squeals at you as she pulls back from your embrace. “It’s so good to see you! Doesn’t Shauna look great in the dress I picked out for her?” You called it.

“Yeah, she looks great.” You smile at Shauna, who averts her eyes from you, and Jackie just beams.

“See, Shauna? Everyone loves the boob dress.”

“The what?” Shauna groans at your question. Jackie gestures to the low-cut baby doll dress Shauna was wearing.

“This lovely dress that I got Shauna last year, which she never wears,” Jackie pouts at her friend. The boob dress was certainly a fitting name for the piece of fabric. “Anywho, I have to run and find someone to kiss so Jeff will stop following me around tonight. Y/n?” Jackie smiles at you, flirtily and invitingly.

“Goodbye Jackie.” Shauna says it firmly, leaving no room for Jackie to debate.

“Aw, no fun, Shippy.” Jackie pouts as she begins backing up. "Okay, bye, Y/n, bye Shauna. Text me when we’re heading home!” And with that, Jackie quickly disappears into the crowd. You turn to Shauna.

“Well—” your sentence is quickly cut off by a large body colliding with yours, sending you flying into Shauna. The smell of Axe fills your nose as the boy follows after Jackie.

“Jackie, wait up!” Jeff shouts desperately at her, trying to catch up to her.

“I hate him already.” You say as you separate from being pressed up against Shauna. Once you look down, you find your cup empty; the contents spilled all over the front of Shauna’s dress.

“Oh my god, no! We gotta get that out; lemme help.”

You grab Shauna by the hand, leading her throughout the party and into the upstairs bathroom. You begin drunkenly fumbling with the faucet and hand towels, trying to wet them so you can try and dab out the stain the drink would surely leave. Shauna keeps trying to calm you down, but her words drown out as you lightly press the towel against her body repeatedly.

The room is silent as you get more and more desperate to get the stain out of her dress, if not for Shauna, for Jackie. She was tiny, but she still didn’t seem like the kind of girl you’d want to upset.

“Y/n, seriously, I think you’re taking this way more seriously than you should.” Shauna tries to assure you, but your drunken state can’t let it go.

“God, Jackie’s going to kill me for ruining the boob dress.” You say it only half jokingly, because Jackie may actually kill you for that. The far-off look you gave as you spoke made Shauna burst into laughter.

You’d never seen her laugh before. The sight was so intimate to you that you felt like you should avert your eyes for her privacy, but you simply couldn’t. You were entranced by her. The moment felt different to you. Driven by all the alcohol in your system, you surge forward and lock lips with Shauna.

Her lips tasted of the cherry-flavored jungle juice they were serving in the kitchen, and her lips were so soft. But Shauna wasn’t reciprocating. It’s only two seconds later that you realize what you've done. You pull away, and Shauna’s eyes are wide open in shock. You suddenly feel so very sober.

“Shit, Shauna I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that; well, I did, but I thought you felt the same but—” You take a breath from rambling and try to think for a moment. "Okay, wait, let me restart. I really like you. I’ve felt this way for a while. You’re so stunning, and you give me a hard time, but it's never annoying when it’s you. I wanna see if we could maybe go out because I think you’re incredible. Please?”

The words pour out of you like a fire hydrant. You couldn’t stop the flow if you tried, and the more you said, the more shocked Shauna looked. She doesn’t utter a word; she just stares at you. You’re not sure you’d like what she had to say if she spoke, but any reaction is better than no reaction.

“Shauna?” Shauna glances into your eyes, at your lips, and then runs out the door. It seemed that all at once Shauna regained movement in her body; she was here one second and gone the next, and suddenly you were alone in the bathroom.

“Fuck.”

==================================

The following Sunday, you make your way back to the library, mostly to try and smooth things over with Shauna. You really messed everything up. You got caught up in the moment, and she just looked so good. You hoped she’d be able to accept your apology; the guilt was eating you alive, and you really didn’t want to have to go downtown to the city’s library instead.

Walking up to the desk, you found an unfamiliar attendant. There's no sign of Shauna, but maybe she's still in the library somewhere.

“Hi, excuse me, is Shauna working?” You ask the girl.

“No, sorry.” She gives you a small sympathetic look.

“Oh, well, if she comes in, can you tell her Y/n is in study room 125, and I’d like to talk to her if I can?” You try, hoping that Shauna will come in for a later shift or something. She nods, and you thank her, making your way to the room slightly dejected. It would've been helpful to just talk to Shauna then and there and beg for her forgiveness, but you guess you’ll have to try the hard way if Shauna’s even willing to speak with you.

Every minute feels exponentially longer. You tried to focus on doing some work—any work, in fact—but you just kept glancing at the clock and seeing how much time had elapsed since you got here. The hours ticked by so slowly and so quickly at the same time, and before you knew it, the library was closing.

The final warning tone sounded to signify that the library was closed. You looked out the window of the private room and saw the remaining students filing out of the library until you were the last person. You guessed you’d have to talk to Shauna another night. You begin the process of saving all your work and packing up when your focus is broken by the sound of the study room’s door opening.

You turn and find Shauna; her eyes already raking over you with an intensity that makes you shiver. She closes the door, still facing you, and leans back against it. You get up from your chair and approach her.

“Shauna, I was looking for you. Listen, I am so sorry. I was so drunk and crossed a boundary.” You try to keep some distance between the two of you so you don’t make her uncomfortable. Her expression was unreadable, with her jaw clenched and her brown eyes holding a scrutinizing gaze on you. You can’t help but feel small in the awkwardness of the moment. You wished the world would swallow you whole with every second of silence that passed between the two of you.

“Did you mean it?” She says, finally breaking the silence. You give her a confused look, not entirely sure what she was referring to. Her gaze hardens on you as she repeats herself.

“All the stuff you said the other night, did you mean it?”

“Well, yeah, but we don’t have to talk about—” She crosses over to you before you can finish your sentence and silences you with her lips. She tugs possessively at your hair with one hand while the other finds solace grabbing at your shirt with a balled-up fist. The action catches you so off guard that you have to think for a moment about how you ended up kissing her again. It doesn't take more than a second to process and place your hands on her waist, pulling her body closer to you.

Shauna mumbles something against your lips that you couldn’t make out, so you continue kissing her. After a second, she pulls back and says it again. “Fuck me, now.” You barely have time to nod your head ‘yes’ before she's attacking your lips again and pulling you towards the study room table.

Once her legs are pressed against the edge of the table, you lift her by her thighs to sit on top of it, never once breaking the kiss as she starts undoing her jeans. Once she has them unzipped, you assist her in tugging them down her legs. You couldn’t help but let a hand wander from her waist down to grip at her newly exposed thighs. The tight muscles in her legs are tensing at the soft caress of your touch.

Her hand on your shoulder makes its way to grab your jaw, and she moves your mouth to her neck. Shauna moans the second you start sucking small hickies onto the skin right under her ear. Her hand slowly snakes over your shoulder, grabbing you by the back of the neck to keep you in place, while the other is managing to strip off her underwear.

Shauna is able to work the fabric down to her knees when she pulls you to her lips again. The kiss was brief, as she pulled away slightly. She grabs your hand and inserts your middle and ring fingers into her mouth, all while holding your gaze. She drags her tongue over each finger, and you could go weak at the sight alone. The feeling of her going over and around each index made you shiver at the sensation.

She pulls them out and moves them down her body towards the apex of her legs. You didn’t need the instruction; you’d have done it gladly, but something told you she liked the control. So you allowed her to puppeteer your hand any way she pleased.

The second your fingers touched her pussy, you were able to feel just how wet she was, and you resist the urge to tease her because of how badly you needed to fuck her. Shauna groans, her nails digging into the flesh of your neck, as soon as you slide your fingers up her lips, pausing at her entrance.

“Fingers, inside.” Shauna says to you, and you do as you’re told. Sliding into Shauna with no resistance, she sighs, finally satisfied, as you begin slowly pumping in and out of her. Every time you thrust your fingers deep into her, she’d pull your torso impossibly closer to her, leaving you barely any space to move your arms so you could continue fucking her.

The lewd, wet sounds she made as you pumped were only interrupted by her breathy moans. You want to draw this out as long as you can, beginning to slow down your pace, much to Shauna's anger.

“What are you doing? Why are you stopping?” Her eyes were wide and filled with frustration.

“Say ‘Please.’” You state simply, continuing your slow pace and placing your other hand on Shauna’s waist.

“What? No.” Shauna looks angry; you even asked that of her.

“I wanna hear you say it,” you say, getting close to her ear. “Or else I’ll stop.” You pull back from Shauna with a large grin.

“No way.” You simply shrug and start to remove your hand from between her legs. As soon as you try to move your hand, Shauna clamps your hand between her thighs. It’s only then that she realizes you were being serious. She tries mumbling it against your skin at first, but it doesn’t make you finger her any faster. She even tries grinding her hips against your hand, to no avail, as your hand is holding them steady.

“Beg Shipman.” You look at Shauna with a devilish smirk before sucking hickies onto Shauna’s neck while you wait for her to comply. She simply had no other way to avoid it.

“Please!” It’s a desperate cry. Louder than you expected she’d be, truthfully.

“Shhhh, you have to be quiet in the library. Remember?” Shauna can feel you smirk against her neck in between the open-mouthed kisses you left there. She tried to string together an insult or quip in response quickly, but your thumb doing slow, firm circles on her clit was making her draw a blank. Your hot breath on the side of her neck and shoulders was fogging up her mind even more than she thought possible, and she desperately tried to get out a single coherent thought.

“Fuck y—oh my fucking god.” Shauna’s sentence is cut off by you biting down on her shoulder and picking up the pace once again, faster this time. Her eyes shut in bliss as she held your hand in place between her legs.

After a few more pumps, Shauna’s cumming for you with a gasp and a call of your name. Her nails rake down your back, and you know they left marks even over the shirt you were wearing. Once Shauna opened her eyes again, the hazy look she previously had was replaced with blown pupils. You can’t help the smug grin that overtakes your features.

“Did I seriously hear you say ‘please’ at some point? Shauna, it's wonderful that you’re finally learning your manners.” You smiled at her, and she did not look thrilled at the comment.

Her hand that was gripping onto your shoulder slowly inched up to your face, cupping one of your cheeks. She stared at your lips possessively while she lightly rubbed her thumb across them.

“I can think of a better use for this mouth instead of you running it.” Shauna pulls you in for a kiss, smirking against your lips and quickly breaking the kiss to direct your head in between her legs.

==================================

The next day, when you came to the library and went into your study room, you found yet another coffee waiting for you with another note.

‘Date Friday at 7 p.m. Don’t be late. - Shauna.’

#yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets x you #shauna shipman x reader

314 notes · View notes

soffsh2 · 1 year ago

Text

What Once Was

Plot Summary: After Jackie left you for Jeff in your teen years, you’ve done all you could to avoid running into her. You decide to go to your high school’s 25 year reunion once you hear that Jackie wasn’t going to attend. How were you to know she’d show up anyway.

1996

Jackie had been acting strange for the last few days. In fact, it felt like she had been pulling away from you since graduation. You’d gotten to the point where you had to call her friends to see if she was acting as odd with them as she was with you. Though none of them had an answer for you, she was acting the same with everybody else. Only things with you were different.

Earlier in the day, you had called Shauna, telling her that you were going to go talk to Jackie and finally see what was wrong. You had given her time to come to you and explain the reason for how she was acting, but she wouldn’t budge. And the longer it went on, the quieter Jackie became. It almost seemed like she was avoiding you, but she wouldn’t do that to her girlfriend. You were positive that you just needed to assure her that you would both do fine with long distance.

You drove over to the Taylor’s house and found an unfamiliar truck parked where you usually do. Walking up to the house, you could hear the sounds of voices through the open windows. You knock on the front door, expecting Jackie or either of her parents to open it up. You were certainly not expecting the door to open and have you face-to-face with Jeff Sadecki.

He groaned, speaking as he retreated further into your girlfriend's house. “Jackie, can you not have your friends come visit when we’re on a date?” Pfff, a date? Jackie’s parents are probably trying to set them up again. That poor, delusional asshole, you thought. Jackie bounced cheerfully to the door until she saw you standing there. Her face quickly changed, and she hurriedly pushed you outside, closing the door behind you both.

You always thought Jackie’s parents suspected you and her, but you never thought they’d go this far. "Wow, your parents have hit a new low. I mean, setting you up on a date with Jeff Sadecki? Jesus.” You laughed for a second, until you realized Jackie wasn’t laughing with you. Actually, she had the most sympathetic look on her face that she’s ever directed at you. Immediate concern filled your body. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Y/n. My parents didn’t set this up; I did.” Your face dropped instantly. “Jax, what? What’re you talking about?” She tried to hold your hands when she explained herself to you, but you immediately shook yourself out of her grasp. “Y/n… I can’t do this. I can’t be that way. It’s not natural.” You didn’t believe the words that she was saying. Two weeks ago, she was happily in love with you, telling you and every one of her teammates as much. And now, this?

“Jackie, woah, where is this coming from? You felt your throat start to close up. Jackie was slowly trying to move you further from the door, afraid that her parents or Jeff would hear you.

“Please don’t make this more difficult for me than it already is. I don’t want to hurt you; I just can't be like that with you anymore.” She was trying not to make her words sound as harsh as they were, and she was failing horrendously at it. The more she spoke, the more you teared up. Seeing that seemed to send her into even more of a panic as she continued talking. “I don’t like women. I’m meant to be with someone like Jeff. It just makes sense.” She tried to rationalize.

She was about to say more when you heard Jeff’s voice call from inside. “Babe! Get back in here; you’re gonna miss the highlights of my game!” She tried not to look too unhappy before she returned her gaze to you. You could see her face falter when she looked at you, standing on her doorstep crying because of what she did. Whatever sliver of her that felt bad for her actions was swiftly hidden away as she opened her front door once again. She looked at you with a stoic face and sad eyes when she said her last words to you. “Goodbye Y/n.”

Tears cascaded down your cheeks on the drive home. It felt like you were living in a fucking nightmare. It certainly didn’t feel real. Some part of you couldn’t blame her, you had known the pressure her parents put on her. She always seemed like she carried the world on her shoulders, but those were expectations she put on herself. Upon getting home, you immediately ran upstairs and fell into your bed.

You were only home for a few minutes when you got a call on your landline. You wanted to ignore it, but a part of you hoped that it was Jackie calling to tell you it was all a bad joke and she was sorry. You quickly answered. “Hello? Jackie?” Your tone was hopeful, bordering on desperate. “Uh, no?” A different voice fills your ears.

“Oh hi, Shauna.” You couldn't hide the disappointment that laced through your voice when you realized that Jackie wasn’t going to call. “I was just calling to see if you were home already, but I didn’t expect you to be home this soon. What happened at Jackie’s—” The mention of Jackie's name made you breakdown. “Shauna,… she left me.” The other end of the line went quiet before Shauna recovered from her surprise. “She what? No. She wouldn't.” Her voice sounded distant, and she sounded as confused as you felt. “She did. She dumped me for Jeff fucking Sadecki.”

The fact that anyone would view Jeff as an upgrade was comical to Shauna, but she had to stifle her laugh when she heard you speak again. “Is it really that big of an issue for her to love me?” All the emotion was drained from your voice. It made Shauna uncomfortable to hear you like that. “Hold on, I’m coming over.”

Shauna made it to your house in record time. You both just sat in her car as you explained everything through sniffles. For a while, she was waiting for Jackie to pop out and say it was a prank, but no such relief came. She brought no words of comfort for you, Shauna was never good at pep talks. In fact, she would say that the only thing she was good at was brooding. However, she never left you to handle your sadness alone.

If it weren’t for Shauna showing up for you that summer, you weren’t sure how you would have fared. She had become your rock and did everything with you. You were close enough while you were dating her best friend, but this just felt different. There was not a thing you’d do that she wasn’t asking to accompany you with. Good thing too; she would always spot when Jackie and Jeff were nearby before you could see the pair.

She’d saved you a lot of grief for the rest of the summer before you finally got peace when Jackie left for college. No more worrying about bumping into her at your favorite Deli that she’d loved. No possibility of running into her while she was on a date with Jeff. It was a start for everything to become easier for you. A couple weeks had passed, and you were finally feeling okay. You had even begun to forget the reason for your new-found friendship with Shauna.

It was at a coffee shop, about a week before Shauna was to leave for Brown, that it happened. You sat together on the patio of the café, laughing at something that Mari had told her earlier. Shauna’s mother had gotten her a brand new flip phone to go away to college with. She left it on the table after showcasing it to you. All of a sudden, the little thing lights up and rings. You look down and see her name plainly displayed on the screen. Everything came back to you then. You were reminded of the girl who made all of this happen. Shauna looked at the phone, saw the name that flashed on the tiny screen, and excused herself. She was not nearly far enough that you couldn’t hear her whisper yelling at Jackie. Discussing Jackie’s latest argument with Jeff and deflecting every time Jackie asked who Shauna was with, that she had to whisper.

Beyond the reminder of Jackie that day, you had the daunting realization that you couldn’t continue your friendship with Shauna. It was wrong of you to take away and monopolize the time of your ex-girlfriend's best friend. Moreover, realizing you’d have to coexist alongside Jackie still being in Shauna’s life and possibly encountering her in one way or another was enough to make your decision final. After Shauna went to University, you’d stop talking to her.

When Shauna left, she had given you her mailbox number and the number of her new phone, so you could call and write to her often. She left with a smile and yelled at you to promise that you’d call before the end of her first week at Brown. You just smiled at her as her mother drove her away, waving goodbye to her until the old station wagon disappeared from view.

2021

The years drifted by quickly as you tried to forget all about Jackie Taylor and the rest of your old friends in Wiskayok. You were glad to have gone to a college far enough from your hometown, it made it easier to stay there and disappear from everyone. You had tried dating afterwards, but everything seemed so dull in comparison. The feeling of having her love you was something indescribable. To have a random person fill the place that you always thought would belong to Jackie just didn’t feel right. You told yourself you enjoyed the solitude. Convinced yourself that it was your own choice rather than a decision made without your blessings.

You were intent on keeping it that way too, trying not to remember any people from home. But that’s when you got the call. “Hey Y/n, it's Misty, Misty Quigley from high school.” You’re not sure you ever gave Misty your number, so you wonder how she has it now. "Yeah, hi Misty, I remember. How’ve you been?” You say unenthused; you didn’t actually care to know. “Doing good; I’m an attendant at a nursing home. So I’m living the dream! But… I’d be doing better if you came to the reunion this year.”

The words were like a punch to the face. “Misty no—” She’s quick to cut you off. “Come on, Y/n, nobody has seen or heard from you in years; some people probably think you’re dead at this point.” She was practically begging over the phone. “And I am fine to keep it that way, happy even.” You attempt to shut it down again. “Y/n…please. The girls miss you.” That tugged on your heart a little. “Misty, really, I can’t—” She cuts you off yet again with her best argument all evening. “Jackie won’t be there.”

You were well aware that Jackie never misses the opportunity to go to the reunions, and thus you avoided going at all costs. It’s only when Misty sighs and tells you that Jackie cannot attend this year because of some furniture convention in Philadelphia that Jeff was dragging her to that you begrudgingly agreed to go. You hadn’t kept up with your old friends and teammates, just to avoid ever running into Jackie. You rationalized that it’d be nice to see them again with no fear of running into her. And this opportunity probably won’t come again for another 25 years, so you figured you might as well. So you reply to the Facebook invitation that you’ll be attending and prepared yourself.

The day of the reunion approached faster and faster until you found yourself sitting in your car in the parking lot of your old high school, fidgeting with your dress shirt. Practically doing all that you could to stall actually going inside. The whole place reminded you of Jackie. It made you nearly sick to your stomach. All the hurt caused by her leaving you, which despite it all, was still fresh in your mind. The longer you sat, the more anxious you became. Finally, looking down at your phone and seeing the time prompted you to reach for the door handle and get out.

Walking through the doors of Wiskayok High, you had expected it to look different, to have been updated at all in the 25 years since your graduation. But no, it's still the same ratty old hallway in the same broken-down school that you remembered. It brought a slight sense of comfort, knowing that you could likely still navigate your way through the entire high school campus without issue.

Approaching the big, blue and yellow decorated doors, the only thing that separated you from people you hadn’t seen in 20+ years, you felt nauseous. You had to keep telling yourself that Jackie wasn’t here to keep your anxiety at bay. So, with a deep breath, you pushed open the large metal doors. It was decorated as well as a high school gym could be, you supposed. A lot of lights strung up with blue and yellow balloons set on each table.

Right as you enter, you see Misty standing by the photographer and his props. The sound of the closing door can barely be heard over the music playing throughout the gymnasium; however, she could still sense it and turn to see you. The sight brings a large smile to her face as she runs over to lead you to the table with all the other girls.

As you approach a large round table, you could start to make out the familiar faces of your old friends. Their conversation dies down when Natalie notices you, getting up to greet you. “Holy shit…when Misty told us you were coming, we all just thought she was full of it.” You laugh nervously. You still feel tense from being around people you used to know so well but now felt like strangers. “Well, here I am.”

You turn around. “Tai, congratulations on the campaign.” Taissa smiles at you before speaking. “Thank you, Y/n… You look great.” She says it so genuinely. You'd guess that when people haven't seen you in years, they can only assume the worst.

Before you could respond, you’re wrapped in a hug by Shauna, much unlike the moody teen you once knew. “Hey Shipman.” You said as you wrapped your arms around her. You embrace her for a moment before she pulls away and punches you in the arm. Now that’s more like the Shauna Shipman you knew. “You stopped responding to me! Don’t ever do that again; I’ve missed seeing you. I really thought that I would never hear from you again.”

As you gently hold the spot where Shauna laid into your arm, you try to explain yourself. "Shauna, come on, you know I couldn’t keep in touch after everything with...” You gestured to an empty space next to Shauna that, when you were younger, would always be filled by Jackie. Her demeanor changed, and the others went quiet around you as well.

“You know it never sat right with me, what she did.” She defends. “I know, but she needed you. I wasn’t going to get in the way of that.” She looks at you with sad brown eyes. “You still needed me too.” You shrug. “I wasn’t going to ask you to choose me over your best friend.” Shauna opens her mouth to respond before Taissa grabs you by the shoulders and guides you to sit in one of the chairs. “You guys can talk later; we need to hear about what’s been going on in the past 20 years.”

The tension melted away quickly, and you felt as if you'd picked up right where you left off with them. Everyone tells you about what they’ve been up to. You’re most surprised that Shauna has a daughter now. She hit you again when you told her that she never struck you as the nurturing type. It felt so light and perfect, you knew something had to go wrong.

The metal doors have been opening and closing all night, with people going in and out of the gym. So, of course, you paid it no mind when the metal clicked open and shut once more. You were far too intrigued to hear about Natalie’s latest rehab stint to notice the approaching figure until it was too late.

“Hi guys!” A cheery voice breaks through the crowd. You felt like a deer caught in headlights. You didn’t need to look at her to know who it was. You were frozen, all you could hear were some nervous greetings from around the table. By the tense tone in the girls' voices, it seemed they wanted to be swallowed by the ground just as much as you did.

You watched her gaze flit to every person before landing on you. “Hi Y/n.” Her smile shone as brightly as you remember it. If you hadn’t known her like you did, you would’ve assumed she was being fake with you. “Hey Jackie.” Your voice low as you tried to avoid her eyes and take a sip of your drink. Shauna laid her hand on your arm and squeezed reassuringly; the action was not lost on Jackie. You watched her eyes focus on the action, her face hiding a barely contained scowl now. She was about to speak again when Misty spoke up.

You thank every higher power in the sky, as it made Jackie face Misty instead of you. Her green eyes felt like they were burning into your skin the longer she stared. “You said you weren’t coming. The convention?” Misty looked like she felt guilty for putting you in this position. You would’ve thought it was a trap, but you knew Jackie. "Oh, didn’t you get my email? Last week, Jeff decided that he wanted to go alone. So I emailed you, saying that I would be attending after all.”

Jackie was never great at lying. It may not have been obvious to the others, but to you and Shauna, you could read Jackie like a book. You turned to Shauna with a suspicious look, and her face mirrored your own. Misty gave her a confused look. “You didn’t email me.” Jackie feigned surprise. "Oh, silly me, I must’ve written it up but never sent it.” She turned to the table with a ‘what can you do’ expression and a shrug as she moved to sit down. She took the open chair directly across from you. God, it’d be hard to avoid eye contact with her now.

"So, Y/n I haven't heard from you in ages; are you married?” Jackie never had tact when she wanted something, but the sheer audacity to ask stunned you. Everyone else seemed to have the same sentiment as you because the girls all avoided eye contact. Shauna tried to scold Jackie, but that only encouraged her to persist further with you. To cease the girls bickering, you gave her an answer. “Uh, no, Jackie. I’m not.” She tried to push a small smile from her face when she responded. “Oh, really? That’s too bad.”

At that, Taissa pushed herself from the table, stating that she was going to go get a plate of something to eat. Natalie and Misty both followed her, seeming to find the encounter too awkward to bear. “So, why aren’t you on Facebook?” Jackie continued to pry.

“I am; I just have a few people blocked.” You didn’t leave anything up for interpretation with your tone. Shauna laughed beside you. She seemed to have read the hint immediately, while Jackie was still catching up. You knew, however, exactly when she figured it out because she instantly pouted. The slight against her did nothing to dissuade her efforts, though. She was as persistent as ever; you could give her that much.

"So, to be clear, you’re not dating anyone? Right?” That was the last straw. You got up from the table, stating that you were going to find the food Tai was referring to. As you left the table, you could hear Shauna chastise Jackie quietly. You couldn’t make out much, but you did hear the distinct sound of Jackie complaining before you were out of earshot. “What Shauna? It’s not like I could check on her Facebook.”

You stayed by the buffet table for a few minutes, making idle chatter with whoever recognized you. Anything to avoid being stuck with Jackie at the table. However, it didn't take long for her to grow bored and go searching for you. She appeared out of nowhere; it almost startled you. It was as if one second you were alone, and the next she was beside you, already opening her mouth to yap.

“Crazy bumping into you. Now that I have you here, you never answered that question back there.” You rolled your eyes and did your best to ignore her. "Oh, come on, Y/n. You never come to these; I just wanna catch up!” You had about had it. Turning to face her completely, you drop the niceties.

“Cut the shit Jackie, you and I both know you’re lying. Why are you really here?” Jackie stands there a little stunned; you’d never snapped like that at her while you were dating. "I, uh… well, I saw that you responded to the Facebook invite and that you were coming. And I just wanted to see you and maybe talk to you.” You don’t have the energy for her right now. “There’s nothing to talk about, Jackie. I don’t want explanations or apologies. Just leave me alone.” You turned and walked back to the table where Shauna was seated alone.

You sighed as you sat down next to her, with your head in your hands. Shauna leaned over and rubbed your back. She was doing her best to give you some semblance of comfort. She knew this was a lot for you; she didn’t have to say it. It was painfully obvious and awkward enough to send your other three friends running to interact with literally anyone else. When you brought your head back up, you could see Jackie staring at the two of you. She looked so insecure as she stood right where you left her. Shifting uncomfortably on her feet, she looked like a kicked puppy. You laid your head in your hands again and groaned.

“I don’t know what to do, Shauna; she won’t stop with me.” Your voice came out muffled from your hands. You could hear Shauna sigh next to you, and her hand dropped from your back. "Yeah, she was never great with the word ‘no'.” She laughed. You huffed out a small laugh as well.

You heard a click of heels on the gym floor coming at you and looked up. You saw Jackie marching over to the table with renewed vigor. She stood directly at your side and placed her hands on her hips when she addressed you. “Y/n I really think we should talk about what happened.” She said it in the exact tone that she would always do when you were teenagers. The same tone that got you to straighten up and do exactly what she said.

You were getting so frustrated with her. You’d just wanted a moment of peace away from her, and she couldn’t seem to respect that. Fuck it. You stood, turned to Shauna, and offered her your hand. “You wanna dance?” A look of surprise crossed her face, but upon seeing your expression of determination, she smiled and delicately placed her hand in yours. “I’d love to.” She rose from her seat, and you led her to the dance floor, leaving Jackie with a look of utter shock as you brushed past her.

You enjoyed your time with Shauna, laughing together as you moved around the dance floor. Every now and then, when you spun her, you’d get a look behind her at the table. The table where you’d see Jackie sitting alone, miserably gazing at you and her best friend dancing. Jackie was downing her drinks quickly. She’d kept pouring herself more drinks from the punch bowl to drown her sorrows. The punch bowl that sat in the middle of the table, the one that Natalie had definitely spiked earlier in the night. You tried to not let the image of Jackie sitting sad and alone because of your actions burn itself into your brain.

“I know what you’re doing.” Shauna’s voice made you shift your gaze away from Jackie. “Huh?” You attempted to play dumb. She rolled her eyes. “If you’re trying to get a reaction out of her, you’re doing a good job.” You straightened up, and Shauna gave you a look like she knew she’d nailed exactly what you were up to. “I think that Jackie brought this onto herself.” You deflected. Shauna shrugged before smirking at you. "Oh, she definitely did.” She leaned in closer and whispered in your ear. “But next time, let me know, and I can help you drive her up a wall.” You can’t fight the grin that took over your face. You spun her again as you spoke. "Well, she always did seem to get a little jealous when it came to us, Shippy.”

An hour had passed while you continued to dance with Shauna until a brash voice broke you both apart. “Sorry to interrupt you, lovebirds.” You and Shauna turned to Nat, with a visibly drunk Jackie being dragged behind her. “‘Lovebirds?’” Jackie questioned with a pout. “Jesus.” You muttered as they got closer.

Nat all but tossed Jackie into Shauna, and Jackie instantly melted into the form of her best friend. “She’s a mess. She needs to go home.” Jackie attempted to mumble something in protest, but it was muffled with her face in Shauna's shoulder. Natalie looked at Shauna expectantly. "Oh, I didn’t drive here; Callie dropped me off. And she hasn’t answered any of my texts, so I think she’s asleep.” Then both Shauna and Nat looked to you.

"Oh, come on.” You immediately protested. “I’m sorry, Y/n. You drove here and you barely had anything to drink; it’s the safest option.” Shauna being against you for this argument felt like a small betrayal to you. Shauna was right, and you didn't necessarily want anything bad to happen to anyone on their ride home. But that didn't mean you should have to be the one to take her home. “No, you know how I feel about her.” Jackie lifted her head and body from Shauna to complain. “Hey, I’m right here.” Natalie halfheartedly pushed her back into Shauna, and Jackie fell right back into her place on Shauna.

“No Shauna.” You tried to say it in a tone that left no room for debate, but of course Shauna persisted. “Y/n please? I’ll even go too. You’d actually be doing me a favor since I need a ride.” You were about to object further; tell her ‘no way’ when you looked at Jackie. She hadn’t stopped staring since she was brought over. Her eyes were so sad, and her leaning up against Shauna like she had no legs of her own made her look utterly helpless. You couldn’t fight the soft spot you still had for her, and when you looked at Shauna, it just solidified it more. You knew you weren’t going to be on the winning side of this argument. “Fine… FINE. I’ll do it.” Shauna, who you’re sure would’ve reached out and squeezed your hand if it hadn’t been holding Jackie’s form upright, mouthed a thank you.

You gathered your things and led Shauna, who was still supporting her best friend, to your car. As soon as you went to unlock the back door for Shauna to slide Jackie into, Jackie found enough drunken athleticism to slide over to the passenger's side door. You looked warily at Shauna, who halfheartedly tried to bring Jackie to the backseat. As soon as Jackie started whining about how she didn’t want to sit in the back, Shauna conceded and got into your back seat instead. You rolled your eyes. You really didn’t want to be stuck up front with Jackie, but it seemed you had no choice. You took a deep breath before getting into your seat and pulling out of the parking spot.

The ride was quiet; for the most part, you and Shauna occasionally spoke and reminisced about things you did together that last summer before college. You almost forgot about Jackie sitting silently in the passenger's seat, or you would have if she wasn’t staring at you and Shauna as you spoke fondly about times that didn’t include her. You were about to turn to head towards Jackie’s house when Shauna spoke up.

“Y/n, I hate to do this to you, but is there any way you can drop me off first?” You gave her a look in the rear view mirror that said, ‘Are you kidding me?’ Shauna looked at you sympathetically. You knew she didn’t want to do this to you on purpose. “I know, I’m sorry. I just need to make sure Callie’s alright; I haven’t left her alone this long since before her dad left.” You roll your eyes but adjust to head towards Shauna’s house.

When you pulled up to Shauna’s house, you could see there was a light on upstairs. Shauna sighs and mutters something under her breath about Callie being up at this hour and not texting her back. She scooted over and wrapped her arms around Jackie from behind the seat. "Night, Jax, see you soon.” She then got out and walked over to your door, then waited outside it for a moment with an expectant look on her face. “Aren’t you going to walk me to the door?” You smiled at the sentiment and got out, leaving the car door open, before you walked Shauna up to her porch. She enveloped you in a hug before you could utter a word of farewell.

She pulled back before speaking. “You are not allowed to not talk to me for more than a week, ever again. You hear me?” You laughed. “I’m serious, Y/n.” Shauna continued. “I promise I'll keep in touch, Shauna.” You said, genuinely. “You better.” She leaves you with a lingering kiss on your cheek before heading inside. When you turned to walk back to your car, you saw that Jackie watched the entire interaction. She had such a sad look on her face when you walked back, you felt like you were caught doing something that you weren't supposed to.

After you got back into the car, there was only a beat of silence before Jackie spoke up. “So you’re not, like… in love with Shauna now, right?” There was a hesitance in her voice; all her insecurity was laced into that one question. “What? Jackie, that's—” You tried, but she cut you off. “Cause I hope she likes my sloppy seconds.” She had rolled down the window to scream the sentiment out towards Shauna’s house, as if Shauna would hear her behind the closed door. You hastily pulled her back in, scrambling a little. You were very aware of how much noise Jackie was making at such a late hour; however, Jackie wasn’t while she was in her drunken state. “Jesus Jackie, shhhh. What’s wrong with you?” Jackie sat back in the passenger's seat with a pout and folded her arms. “I just don’t appreciate the way she’s been acting with you.”

“You don’t get to feel any way about how anyone acts with me. You lost that right a long time ago. Now let’s just go home, please.” Jackie lays her head back against the headrest and closes her eyes as she protests. “Noooooo.” How did you used to put up with her whining daily? This was exhausting. "No, seriously, Jackie. We have to go; it’s late, and I want to go to bed.” She continued drunkenly complaining. “I don’t wannaaaa.” You were desperate to not be alone with her anymore, so you tried to say something that would make her relent.

“Jackie, please, you have to go home. Jeff will be worried about you.” She shook her head against the window, practically falling asleep in your passenger's seat. You sighed. Of course, she was being stubborn with you. Twenty-five years of not talking, and she still acted the same. “What do you mean? Yes, he will.” You wouldn’t know; you don’t know how Jeff is, but it hurt more the longer that you stayed around Jackie, and you just needed to get away from her. She only laughed humorlessly at your comment as she slumped further into the seat. “Nuh-uh… Me and Jeff aren’t together anymore.”

The confession hit you like a ton of bricks, so much so that it left you speechless for a moment. “What? Are you serious?” She nodded, her eyes still closed. “Mhmm.” You had a million things that you wanted to ask—how, why—but the only thing that left your mouth was, “Do the others know?”

Only at this did her eyes slowly open, and she just stared vacantly down the dark street. “Nope.” Popping the ‘p’ when she said it. “Why?” She still refused to make eye contact with you when she answered. “The girls would just yell at me… Tell me that I hurt you for nothing. And I did; I know that. I don't have to have them tell me that I ruined the only good thing I’ve ever had when I left you.” You sat in silence for a beat, looking down at the steering wheel, as you tried desperately to process all that she said.

You turned back to face her when she continued speaking, finding her already looking at you for the first time during the whole conversation. “I’m sorry, by the way. For what I did. I really wish I was a better person for you; you deserved it.” Her eyes were illuminated by the glow of the street lights, showing that she was tearing up.

A younger version of yourself would have hopped over the center console to hug her the second you saw her anywhere close to crying. The most that the current you could muster was to break the intense eye contact and utter a half-hearted "Yeah, well… we can’t change the past.” There was a pause in conversation; the air was tense now that Jackie had aired out all her dirty laundry. Her voice was low as she resumed speaking. “I wish I wasn’t afraid of what would’ve happened with us. Maybe I’d be happy now. We probably would’ve had a good life.” You put the car in drive, as you replied. “Yeah, maybe.”

You drive to Jackie’s childhood home, having memorized its path from every corner of Wiskayok. You wanted to ask so much more, but debated whether it would upset her. Jackie, who seemed almost sober now, is slumped against the passenger door, looking out the window. She spoke, but you were too lost in thought to hear it. “I’m sorry, what was that?” She sighed. “I said, I know you. You obviously want to ask something. Go ahead; it won’t make me sad.” Her bluntness caught you by surprise, but then again, what about her didn’t nowadays?

“Well, how long has it been?” You don’t need to say what the question was pertaining to for Jackie to know what you meant. It’s a bittersweet feeling to know that, despite everything, she could still read you and know what you were thinking so well. She took a deep breath before she answered. “Almost a year now. It's why I wasn’t going to come this year; I couldn't face anyone. Not when I haven’t worked up the courage to tell them.” You nodded along as you continued driving. “Was there a reason?” She hesitated and turned to face you before she answered.

“Yeah, I just never could get over you. I still haven't, and I don’t think I ever will.” She said it so candidly that you were hoping you didn’t hear her correctly. You wanted to ignore the mixed feelings bubbling into your stomach, because now all of what she said the whole night was more than just high school nostalgia. More than simple ‘What if’ scenarios, and more than hints for you to read into. That was an admission, and you were so upset that that realization happened this late in her life. Now she had you thinking that you actually could have been happy together this whole time. You were so caught up that you almost flew past Jackie’s house.

You don’t say anything as you break and put the car in park. You kept looking at the steering wheel while Jackie tried desperately to meet your eyes, silently pleading for you to say something. All that you could think was that it was all for nothing. You were mostly afraid it was still the alcohol talking. You didn't want to get your hopes up for something that was only going to be true for as long as the booze was in her system.

“I think you should leave.” Jackie’s face dropped at your reaction, and almost immediately tears started to roll down her cheeks. “What? Y/n, no.” You still avoided her eyes. “Please, this isn't a conversation I want to have after you’ve been drinking. It’s best that you go inside.” At that, she braced herself in your car. “I’ve sobered up; please, can we talk about this?” She begged.

“Jackie, you have to get out of the car.” It took the last shred of your will to try to turn her away one more time. Jackie’s voice was hoarse as she yelled back at you. "No, I can’t. I can’t leave because if I get out, then I’ll never see you again, and it’s all my fault.” She was beyond being consoled by words. She was sobbing so much, you felt awful for upsetting her. Up until that point, you were doing your best not to get sucked in, but how could you deny her?

“Okay, okay.” You relented. You got out of the car, and for a moment, Jackie had a look of panic on her face, seeming ready to chase after you if you left her. You got to the passenger’s door, and as soon as you opened the door, Jackie grabbed onto you and held you in a hug. You mustered up the calmest voice that you could when you spoke next. “I’m sorry.” She sobbed into your shoulder, mumbling, “Please don’t leave.” over and over.

“Please, can you stay tonight? Can we just go inside and pretend that I didn’t mess it all up?” She sniffled into your shirt. You nodded, slowly rubbing her back while you tried to soothe her. When you were younger, you’d dreamt about this scenario and getting to tell Jackie ‘no.’ But that didn’t happen. Truth be told, you don’t think it took more than a second of thought. "Yeah, we can do that, Jax.”

Once she had calmed down, you gradually began to let her go while whispering gently for her to go inside. She grabs your hand as she guides you through a house that was once so familiar to you. Jackie had moved and changed some things around, but it still looked relatively the same.

She pulled you toward her old childhood bedroom. Something about it felt so different. But not much was changed aside from her replacing the pink carpeting with a gray color. It felt almost like a betrayal to change something that was once so sacred to you both. An escape from her parents, a place where you could kiss her safely. It all felt foreign, even if it was the same room you had snuck into countless times just to fall asleep together. Jackie had always hated sleeping alone. You guessed that never changed based on the situation you found yourself in now.

Your musings were interrupted by Jackie tapping your arm. You turned and found Jackie with an embarrassed look on her face. She faced away and showed that she was struggling to fully unzip her dress from the evening. You rolled your eyes as she held her hair up with one hand, assuring it wouldn’t be in the way. Gently holding her shoulder with one hand, you slowly pulled the zipper down with the other. As her dress was being undone, more and more of her back was being exposed to you. It was intimate; she knew it. She could still read you like the back of her hand, so she knew exactly what she was doing.

Once the dress was fully unzipped, your hand slowly dropped from her shoulder, softly tracing Jackie’s skin in its descent. She turned and looked right into your eyes. She didn’t break eye contact with you when she reached up and looped her arms around your neck. As if it were second nature, you placed your hands on her waist. “I’ve really missed you.” She spoke in a whispered tone, as if there were any other people around to hear you. The only time her eyes left yours was to glance at your lips. Her intentions were obvious, and you were never that strong-willed when it came to denying Jackie something that she wanted.

You found yourself leaning in before you could give it a second thought. The urge to fall right back into place with Jackie was too difficult to deny. Jackie notices the action and moves to meet you in the middle. Once you were only an inch from each other's lips, you felt Jackie pull you the rest of the way into her. Her lips pressed roughly against yours, trying to convey every emotion she still felt for you.

Her hands move from your neck to thread into your hair. The grip you had on her waist tightened, and you brought her body closer to you. Jackie let out a small moan at the contact. After years of not hearing it, the noise sounded heavenly. It only spurred you on further. You backed her up against the nearest wall, and Jackie made a small sound when she hit it. Her dress was slipping further and further down her body as you kept going. The noises Jackie was making, the way she'd occasionally ground her hips into you, searching for friction. You knew where this was heading, and as lovely as that idea was, you knew you needed to stop. Everything in you wanted to continue, but you knew you had to separate to avoid taking it further too quickly. You pulled away, leaving a few chaste kisses on her lips to avoid seeing her pout.

When you both pulled apart, she was panting heavily. Once Jackie caught her breath, her face broke out into the largest smile. She always used to smile like that after kissing you when you were younger. You had to admit that it made you happy to see that you still had that effect on her. Jackie disappeared into her bathroom to get into her pajamas. It was at this point that you became painfully aware that you were still in your clothes from the reunion. You tried to adjust your clothing to be able to sleep in it.

Jackie came out of the bathroom while you were attempting to make your clothes as comfortable as possible. “Hold on!” She disappeared from the room with a smile on her face. You could hear her footsteps retreat, some fumbling sounds from the hallway, and her footsteps returning. She came back with a box in her hands. After she placed it on the floor and opened it up, you could see that it was full of your old clothes.

“You kept all these?” You said in astonishment as you sifted through all the clothes she stole from you years ago. She suddenly seemed bashful, watching you go through your old sports apparel and flannels. “I—uh, yeah, it’s always good to have some extra clothes lying around.” After finding a shirt and sweats that you found suitable for the night, you looked at Jackie. She nervously fiddled with her fingers before she continued speaking. “They actually still smelled like you for a long time after... everything. And it was nice, you know, to have some reminders of you still here. But just so you know, this is just a loan. I want those clothes back.” You smiled at her, getting up to give her a hug before you went to change.

After you got into your old clothes that still miraculously fit very well, you crawled into her bed. Jackie hit the lights and walked over to the other side of the bed. You felt all the nostalgia hit you as you laid down on the soft sheets while Jackie climbed in as well. Her sheets and pillows smelled like her; it's comforting but brings a pit to your stomach at the same time. Laying in bed next to the love of your life for the first time in twenty-five years will do that to you, you guessed.

You laid flat on your back as Jackie curled into your side. She maneuvered your arm to hold her, effectively trapping herself against you. You both lay in the quiet of the dark room; the only light in the room was shining in from the streetlight outside. Jackie gingerly played with your fingers as you both sat in fulfilled silence. After a few minutes, Jackie turned her head to face to lay on your chest and held your torso.

She was barely awake when she whispered to you. “Promise me that you’ll still be here when I wake up.” Her voice was muffled from her face being pressed against your chest. She said it so delicately, pleading with you. You were so caught up in the fondness of the moment that you took a beat to answer. After not immediately receiving an answer, Jackie opened her eyes and looked up at you. The sleepy expression on her face was wiped away, and you could see just how scared she was of never seeing you again. You'd do anything to never see her afraid like that again.

“I promise.” She took you in once more before leaning in and gently kissing you. It was innocent and lazy, kissing you just because she missed doing it. As if she were making up for lost time. Your heart thumped with an unearned feeling of domesticity.

It only took a moment for Jackie to detach from you. She rolled to face away from you but scooched herself back to be flush against you. You took the hint and wrapped your arm around her waist. You could feel the grin that Jackie had on her face without even seeing it. She then placed her hand over yours and laced her fingers in between yours. No more than a minute or two later, Jackie fully relaxed into you. Her breathing slowly evened out as she fell asleep, still keeping a tight grip on you.

Tomorrow, you’d plague yourself with the questions of what this meant for you and Jackie going forward. As for tonight, you just missed the feeling of holding her while you slept, and you’re not prepared to continue on without experiencing it every night. The rhythmic sound of her breathing and the smell of her conditioner brought a comfort to you that you had long forgotten.

#jackie taylor x reader #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets x you

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