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softlysheith · 6 years ago

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maybe i’ll love you for a while

Summary: Shiro wants to wait for the right moment to tell Keith how he feels. Keith beats him to it.

( @sheithsecretsanta gift for @sideofsaltblog !! mutual pining, post s7 & s8, confessions, fluff. word count: 2564. ao3 link)

Seeing Keith finally open his eyes feels like finally being able to breathe again.

“Shiro.” His voice is weak from not being used, but it is still his, saying Shiro’s name so sweetly it makes his knees tremble. “You’re here.”

Shiro doesn’t remember moving, but one second he’s by the hospital room doorway and the next he’s gathering Keith into a hug. He feels a tired laugh from Keith’s chest before he feels arms wrapping around him. It’s not as strong as their usual hugs, but it’s just as grounding, the touch fully assuring Shiro that now he has nothing to fear.

He’s not losing the most important person in his world any time soon.

“Of course I am,” Shiro whispers. He hugs Keith tighter, mindful of his injuries. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up.”

“Don’t worry about it. You have your duties. I’m just happy you’re here now.”

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

If only he had the choice, he would stay right where he is now until Keith is back on his feet, at Shiro’s side where he belongs. By the way Keith’s smiling at him now though, eyes soft, Shiro knows that he understands.

“Is everyone else awake?” Keith asks when they pull away, keeping their hands intertwined.

“Yep. Pidge and Lance are up and about.” He slides off the bed and sits on the chair beside it, but he doesn’t let go of Keith’s hand. “Allura and Hunk are still in the hospital, but they’ll be discharged within the week. You got most of the damage.”

Keith lets out a sigh of relief. “Well, I’m just glad they’re all okay.”

Is it selfish, he wonders, to think about how he wasn’t okay while he waited day after day for Keith to wake up? He may not have been hurt physically, but watching Keith sleep for weeks on end, not knowing whether he would wake again, was worse than any death he has ever experienced.

He can’t lose Keith. Not after everything.

Maybe that’s a little too much to reveal so soon, though. So instead he says, “Well, I’m not letting any of you leave me so soon. I just got back, y’know.”

“Shiro,” Keith says, his eyes all soft and earnest again, squeezing Shiro’s hand tighter. “I’m not leaving you. Never.”

Shiro smiles. “I know. And I’m not going anywhere either.”

One day. One day he’ll tell him. One day he’ll say those three words back to him, the words that affected his clone so deeply that now the words are engraved in his memory, his heart.

I love you.

He can’t tell him now, with Keith still so weak and everything else so fresh. But he will.

He just needs to time it right.

He may have to wait for the right moment for a very long time, he realizes.

Keith has woken up, but he’s far from being better. There’s still the bruises and broken bones he’s now suffering from because of the fall. Shiro’s just relieved it wasn’t any worse, but he reckons confessing your newly-found love for your best friend while he’s just escaped death isn’t very romantic.

More than that, there’s a war going on. For now there’s some semblance of peace while they and the Galra regroup, but it won’t last. Adding a relationship (or the burden of breaking his best friend’s heart) to everything else Keith is carrying on his back won’t be any help to anyone. Shiro needs to be there to help out with some of the load, just as Keith has been there for his own burdens.

Still. He’s got something to fight for. Whether Keith accepts his feelings or not, one thing is for sure – no way in hell are they leaving each other.

Shiro’s left him too many times. He swears he won’t do it again.

But, well. He may be waiting for the right time, but there’s no harm admiring from afar.

He was planning on spending the last night on Earth by himself, going over battle strategies and preparing for the long journey ahead.

But a second after he tells everyone to spend time with the people they love, Keith’s eyes drift over to meet his own, and that’s all Shiro needs to cancel everything he has planned.

Spend time with the ones you love. Well, he doesn’t think he can be a good leader if he doesn’t follow his own words.

Keith approaches him when the meeting adjourns, showing off that little grin he reserves just for Shiro. “Any free time in your busy schedule, Captain?”

“For you, Sir? Always. Any plan?”

“We can meet up outside the Garrison around five, get Black to take us to the usual place? I can ask Hunk to whip us something to eat.”

And – this feels different from their hang outs before Kerberos, their visits to each other’s rooms in the Castle of Lions, Shiro’s sleepovers in Keith’s hospital room while he recovers. The way Keith describes everything sounds too much like a date that it sends Shiro’s heart beating a mile a minute.

“Sounds perfect.” Maybe his voice sounds too soft right now, too sweet for someone just talking to his best friend. “Can’t wait.”

Maybe his tone doesn’t go unnoticed, because Keith’s face turns to such a pretty shade of pink that Shiro can’t take his eyes off him. “Yeah,” he says, eyes softening. “Me neither. Can you talk to Hunk while I take care of Black?”

“What, you think I can’t cook for us?”

Keith’s loud, disbelieving laugh is all the answer he needs. “I’ll see you later, Shiro.” Then, devastatingly, he puts his hand on Shiro’s bicep and gives it a friendly squeeze as he walks past.

Or, he thinks it was friendly. Maybe. He probably shouldn’t get his hopes up, should he?

God. Shiro leans on the meeting room table, feeling a little weak.

There’s a chance he could be reading everything wrong, but… he can entertain a couple of his hopes and dreams.

A couple hours later he’s sitting on Black’s muzzle, sitting on a picnic blanket (at Hunk’s insistence) and sharing halves of a sandwich with his favorite person as they watch the sun dip down the horizon, and there’s no place Shiro would rather be.

A tiny laugh interrupts his train of thought. He slides his gaze over to Keith, lets his heart melt at how he’s trying to hide his smile behind his hand. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, just – Black told me she’s glad you brought the blanket with you. Said she didn’t want crumbs all over her.”

Shiro snorts, makes a point of pinching off a bit of his sandwich’s crust and sprinkling it over a space on Black’s muzzle that isn’t protected by the cloth. His connection with Black isn’t as strong as before, but the wave of annoyance that she sends him is enough to make him laugh.

“And people call you the golden boy,” Keith chuckles, shaking his head. “If only they knew how much of a rebel you really are, huh?”

“I wouldn’t trust that side of me to anyone but you,” Shiro jokes, bumping his shoulder against Keith’s.

“What an honor.” Keith rolls his eyes, but they soften when he turns to look at Shiro. “I missed this.”

“Missed what?”

“Y’know. Joking around with you. Hanging out with you at all, really.” Keith averts his gaze, focuses on how he’s playing with his sandwich by turning it over and over. “I know we’ve been busy, but – I dunno. We haven’t really talked much since-”

“Since you got out of the hospital,” Shiro finishes, voice weak. Keith’s been out of the hospital for months now. “I’m so sorry, Keith. If I pushed you away, I swear I didn’t mean to. It’s just been so hectic with Atlas and getting everything ready.”

“You don’t need to explain yourself, Shiro. I was busy too. It’s neither of our faults. I just don’t want to drift away from you because of everything going on.”

Keith has lost him so many times, he realizes then. How many times has he scared Keith, made him think that Shiro would be gone from his life forever? How many times did he cross the universe to bring him back?

Well, he’s here now, and he’ll be damned before he gets ripped away from Keith’s side again — and he sure won’t let himself be the one to drift away.

“Never,” he promises. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Keith.”

Shiro watches in awe as redness begins to bloom on Keith’s cheeks. He still refuses to look at Shiro in the eye. “Oh.”

“And I’ll always be here for you, whenever you need me,” Shiro continues, bumps his shoulder again. “Name a better team than the Black Paladin of Voltron and the Captain of the Atlas. I’ll wait.”

“Dork,” Keith snorts, and when he leans in to rest his head on Shiro’s left shoulder, Shiro swears his heart stops.

They fall into silence after that, content to just eat and appreciate the last sunset they’ll be seeing in a while. The weight on Shiro’s shoulder never leaves, only shifts occasionally whenever Keith grabs another sandwich in the basket or reaches for their shared thermos, and the longer the weight stays there the calmer Shiro begins to feel. It feels right, just like everything else with Keith.

It’s a foolish wish, but Shiro wants this moment to last forever.

Keith breaks the silence when they’re out of food and the sun has fully set, replaced with a cloudless night sky and stars to guide them home. “Shiro?”

“Hm?”

“I’m not… misreading anything, am I?”

And just like that, his heart rate picks up again. “Depends on what you’re reading.”

“You. I mean, whatever this is,” Keith says, pointing towards the two of them. “If I’m wrong, we can pretend I never said anything, but…”

Maybe this is the right moment, even if he didn’t think so at first. “Well, how are you reading this?”

His left hand takes Keith’s hand in between them, and he laces their fingers together carefully. He almost misses the little gasp Keith takes in, the way his fingers tighten around Shiro’s hand for a split second before relaxing.

“You’d make a good writer,” Keith says around a nervous little laugh, his thumb stroking the back of Shiro’s hand repeatedly.

“Good thing I have you as my muse,” Shiro says, preens when he turns and sees the blush on Keith’s cheeks when he laughs.

“Ridiculous.” Keith nuzzles into Shiro’s shoulder, making him laugh when Keith’s long hair tickles his neck. Keith sighs. “… I really love you, Shiro.”

He’s expecting his heart to burst with joy, to feel lightheaded with it, but hearing Keith’s silent confession feels more like a piece of a puzzle sliding into place. It feels grounding. And like everything with the man he loves so much, it feels like it’s meant to be.

“I love you too,” he says, feels that final piece of the puzzle lock in. Everything feels right. “But, Keith—”

“It’s not exactly the best time to start anything yet, I know,” Keith says, finally lifting his head from Shiro’s shoulder to look at him in the eyes. “I’m just glad I know now.”

“After,” Shiro promises, and this is a promise he can never break, and he knows he’ll do anything in his power to keep it. “Something worth fighting for, right?”

“You’ve always been worth fighting for, Shiro.”

And he knows, deep down, that Keith has been fighting for Shiro for years, just like how he fought for Keith back when he was still so young and vulnerable. To know and hear it now though, with the entirely new context, has his heart racing.

After. When the stakes are gone, and he can devote all of himself to Keith, who deserves so much more than that.

But there is one thing he’s wanted for so long that he can’t wait for any longer.

“Can I kiss you?”

Well, he meant to say it more tactfully than that, but he doesn’t miss the way Keith’s eyes widen, then lighten up. “I thought we agreed to wait,” Keith chides him, playful.

“I know, but one doesn’t hurt, right?”

Keith just shakes his head in mock exasperation, but he leans in anyway and lets Shiro capture his lips with his own.

He can admit to himself that he’s thought about how it would feel to kiss Keith more than a few times, but he could never be ready for the real experience. Keith is sweet with the way he moves, hands moving to the back of Shiro’s neck and playing with the short hairs on the nape of his neck, making him shiver.

Shiro breaks the kiss, only so he can tug Keith to position himself in front of Shiro instead of beside him. Keith kneels before him, gentle hands guiding Shiro’s head to tilt up and meet his lips.

They manage to keep it chaste and close-mouthed, but by the time they part for good, Keith is seated fully on Shiro’s lap and Shiro has no idea how much time has passed.

Watching Keith slowly open his eyes feels like watching the sunrise. Maybe because Keith lights up his world just as much. He can’t resist telling that to Keith, who flushes, playfully pushes him away. “You’ve been hanging out with Lance too much.”

“You liked it.”

“Sure.” Keith stands, and Shiro resists the urge to pull him back down. “Anyway, that was definitely not just one kiss. We should be heading back.”

“Right.” He lets Keith pull him up, then gathers him in his arms once they’re both standing. “For the record, I know we agreed to wait but don’t expect me to keep my hands to myself.”

Keith laughs, rests his head on the crook of Shiro’s neck. “As long as you don’t make it obvious. I always knew those shoulder touches meant something.”

They make it back to the Garrison without incident, and soon they’re standing outside Keith’s quarters. Shiro’s room is only a couple doors down, but he doesn’t want to leave Keith’s side yet.

Once he does, they’ll have to set aside their budding relationship for who knows how long, when all he wants to do is watch it grow.

Keith, of course, senses his distress. “Hey.” He tugs at Shiro’s hand, and when Shiro looks at him, he smiles. “We’ll be okay. Something to fight for, right?”

A peaceful future with Keith, where they can let their love grow however they want, with nothing to endanger it. He’s fighting for the universe, but knowing he can have that after it all ends empowers him more than anything. “Yeah.”

“Okay.” Keith squeezes his hand before he lets go. “Get some rest. We’re gonna need it.”

“Yes, sir.” Keith has already unlocked his door and is a step inside when he remembers. “Hey, Keith?”

Keith turns to look at him. “Yeah?”

“Love you.” A reminder doesn’t hurt, and he just realized how amazing it feels to be able to say it so freely.

Plus, he’s never going to get tired of the way Keith blushes. The smile he gives Shiro is shy, sweet. “Love you too, Shiro. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

#sheith #vld #voltron #mine

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