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I'd like to delete that conversation off my blog, because I really want to avoid potentially platforming our former friend there. But I did want to just preserve my thoughts about gate keeping language, specifically on "weird" Labels.

Labels are not some inherent biological reality to which we must conform in order to be correct. You cant zoom in on someones DNA and find a little tag that says "cis lesbian" or "genderqueer bisexual" or "demi-boy asexual panromantic." Labels, pronouns, these words are *tools.* they are rhetorical shorthand for people to describe, quickly, aspects of their experience to others. They are great for building community and discussing issues, but they aren't like *fundamental* to our DNA or something. They are only an approximation we use to try to sum up the complicated reality of ourselves to others.

So this idea of demanding that people use or not use specific words, insisting that their identity or use of labels is incorrect in some way? It doesn't work. People are using those labels and pronouns because they communicate information effectively. They say the things they want to say.

Our vocabulary changes. We no longer call ourselves "inverts" or "homophiles" like we used to. Terms like transvestite have fallen out of common use (though some still use the term.)

We've broadened labels and found vocabulary to describe the shades of difference between genderfluid and genderqueer and agender. Bi and Pan. People who once would have used the same label now use many different labels to express the shades of difference between our experiences. And even within labels, diversity exists. Not all bi people are bi the exact same way. Not all trans people are trans the exact same way. Not all lesbians are lesbians the exact same way.

And other people having a different experience and using different words than you aren't an attack against you. We're all still who we have always been. The community has always contained this diversity. The community has always had people who have a vast multitude of gender and sexuality and presentation queerness. The rainbow is a spectrum.

(Truly, if you have never read our history, especially Pre-Stonewall, it will change your life. I can recommend some great resources if you want.)

He/him lesbians and gay non-binary people and whatever other labels people use? Those people have always been here and are using the language we currently have to best describe their experience to you. Instead of telling them that they are *wrong*, especially during this most beautiful month of Pride, instead- just listen to what they are telling you about who they are and believe them.

We're all in this together. Other queer folks aren't your enemy.

And, as I've said on other posts this Pride Month- there's power in the word Queer. In seeing us all as part of the same word, the same group, with beautiful diversity within that rainbow. All those more specific labels, while useful and wonderful, don't make us wholly different groups. Just different aspects of 1 community.

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Gus, 2007

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Weird and wonderful compilation of strange bird noises.

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Phineas and Ferb revival yay

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anyway you should always remember that all those foreigners you see dying on the news are just as real people as you are who have just as much interiority as you do. there is nothing about you that makes you more important and it is by pure chance that you are not in their position. in fact, this holds for all of history. every person, no matter the horror of the fate that befell them, had just as much interiority as you do. i feel like some people haven't fully internalized this.

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So we’re all afraid to Dm our moots

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Ah these children who always create problems for poor mothers....

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I've been reading Tim's comics

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My friend is trying to name herself, and she's like, "Oh, what's that name that's like marmalade, but it's a name?" and I know she means Adelaide, but I think I can talk her into naming herself Marmalade if I play my cards right here.

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Weekend Activities 🐻🩵🐻