solaeclipse75

[solaeclipse75]

this took far to long to make

[solaeclipse75]

[solaeclipse75]

everyone riding the train today got 250 xp after a level 32 dracula wandered onto the tracks

[solaeclipse75]

they removed posting from tumblr. now there's only scrolling down through the vast blank expanse. great

[solaeclipse75]

Someone hit me with their car and I got isekai'd to a world that's really similar to my old one except in this one my collarbone is mysteriously broken

[solaeclipse75]

I step out of the shower, my naked form displayed upon the mirror. An image only I can see. But then I remember the watchers. A million eyes pointed towards me. This bathroom is full of mosquitos.

[solaeclipse75]

pirate who's worried mermaids are gonna fuck his girlfriends: me fear fish want me women

[solaeclipse75]

Me: It’s not to say this song is bad or anything, but you guys have like a thousand! It’s got really tough competition!

John Flansburgh, sobbing: y..you hate mee :(

[solaeclipse75]

So true and brave my friend

People always be like "I'm having a moment" and not "I'm living in the momwnt and I think that says a lot.

[solaeclipse75]

The moment I find something that gives me joy, I CONSUME it incessantly until it yields no more joy. like a mosquitor sucking on blood until it pops.

[solaeclipse75]

[solaeclipse75]

Seeing a cop while driving and getting scared that I’m accidentally speeding (I am stopped at a red light)

[solaeclipse75]

forgot my night time garlic bread in the oven for the length of 2 mythbusters wpisodes and when i opened the oven door it was so thoroughly cremated that i was blinded not by smoke and ash but what surely must have been its Soul as well

[solaeclipse75]

When the world is cruel and unwelcoming, press ZL to turn into a squid

[solaeclipse75]

You can't even kill people anymore... Because of woke...

[solaeclipse75]

[solaeclipse75]

you can eat as many spices as you like there's no nutrients in there it's free. 15 ounces of smoked paprika yes a great meal for a growing boy