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solarwindandcosmicash · 8 years ago

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priority: manor feictear (part 1)

absent: Kate’s player

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The party learns through Fawkes that the person who had funded Hiri’Nimit’s research on the Nova is currently on the garden world Watson - specifically in an expensive mansion called Manor Feictear, at which an art showcase being held. Armed with the knowledge that they are looking for someone with the letter ‘B’ in their name, Annos secures the party invitations, they pick out aliases, and they go undercover.

summary

Fawkes is a skilled cryptologist and, through the party and Annos’s strike team’s investigations on the Nova, was able to determine the source of Hiri’Nimit’s funding. He had traced the transaction to a garden world called Watson, specifically to a manor called Manor Feictear. As luck would have it, there is an art showcase there for the next few weeks, and with the Shadow Broker’s help, Annos has acquired invitations for the party. He is sending them there to find and capture the person responsible for moving the funds. The party’s only clue is that the letter B is contained in their name, so this is no easy task. Annos is able to provide a list of the guests, however, which may help narrow their search:

Motya Voski – human Zenyxamey M'Kyaius – asari Noreemlia B'Zelyt – asari Idhato Ben'fehal – batarian Bexidia Agonianus – turian Bihirn Merajii – salarian Hartaw Ix – salarian

As it stands, the party arrives on Watson a few days later, spending the time developing their aliases while undercover. Beetle chooses to go as the brilliant yet enigmatic Dr. Boubou Thulphul, a researcher who studies the historical and psychologically effects of Forta’s work; Vekar is her bodyguard, operating under the name Voetreer Orlea. Phos assumes one of her many mercenary names, Gouda Rach, a friend of Dr. Thulphul’s who is interested in purchasing some of the rare weapons that are on display at the Manor.

in discord Beetle: boubou thulphul is a scientist who studies the effects of forta's paintings and other art on the sentient psyche, and has a string of unfortunate husbands who "died" "suspiciously"

Vasir who goes by Reia’Velar, an acquaintance of Dr. Thulphul and an art collector’s employee sent to make purchases for their boss. Last is Isolde, who simply goes as herself, and Aster, who accompanies her as her friend Kirien Juons.

Upon arrival to the Manor, the party is greeted by a quarian who introduces herself as Vleera. She quickly passes them off to Bình, a quiet human who leads them to the ground floor of the manor where the party will be staying. They quickly take their leave, however, and so the party finds themselves in a large gathering room, where there are a few guests about and a human bartender behind the counter. He introduces himself as Prakash and answers their questions as he serves Phos and Beetle a drink, guides them to their rooms, and wishes them a good rest before returning to his post. Looking over the rooms reveals that they are bugged extensively to track their occupants’ movements.

The party returns to the gathering room to speak with some of the guests. Beetle in particular introduces herself to Motya Voski, a young human woman passionate about the arts, and to Idhato Ben’fehal, a batarian art historian, in a brief conversation in which she almost blows the party’s cover. Aster and Phos also speak to Bexidia Agoniaus, a surly, taciturn turian who isn’t inclined to talk. From there, they wait for the first tour of the Manor to begin.

notable lines + interactions

Advika: . . . and there’s a gala going on to showcase art by various species. Beetle: Oh, fuck yes. Vasir: Keelah. DM: Annos looks over at soon as you say that, Beetle, and just gives you a very, very deadpan look, like, do not. Beetle, OOC: [laughs] Vasir, OOC: A very stern glare. DM: Yeah. It’s not effective, I’m sure, but he does it anyway. Beetle: No, but I respect that. Like, get up and go, just keep doing that.

Vasir: We infiltrate a gala and try to locate the people and bring them in. Annos: Pretty much. Beetle, crosstalk: I’m good at infiltrating! It’s in my class name. Vasir: Anything else?

Phos: Do any of you guys have experience working under an alias? Vasir: ... Yes. Phos: Well, Vasir, with you working in Intel, I’m guessing you had plenty. That would be a little hypocritical to - Vasir: It’s fine, Phos. Phos: - but the rest of us, I’m worried about. Vasir: I’m sure Beetle will be fine by cloaking or talking. Beetle: I’m good at talking. Phos: Do you know how to work under an alias? Vekar: I understand the concept, never had the opportunity. Phos: Okay. This will be a learning - a learning moment for - Vasir, weirdly enthusiastic: A learning experience. Beetle: I have my alias all ready. Vekar: What, your real name’s not Beetle? Beetle: Um, no.

Beetle, OOC: I’m Boo Boo the Fool. Spelled ‘Boubou Thulphul’. Just call me Boo. Short for Boubou Thulphul. Vekar, OOC: Oh my god.

Phos: Beetle, call me Rach if you have to talk to me, because Gouda is my alias’s last name. Beetle: But Gouda is so fun. Phos: Yes, but it’s my last name, so please don’t. Beetle, extremely disappointed: Oh. Phos: If you refer to me by my last name, you’re trying to address my clan. Beetle: Is it formal? Phos: Well, talking to me as Gouda would technically mean you’re addressing the clan instead of me as an individual, and you’re trying to insult, challenge, or impress the clan. Beetle: Hey, Rach of clan - Gouda. Phos: Yes. That’s me. Beetle: Beetle: Okay! I can do that.

Beetle: Call me - Ms. Thulphul. [long pause] Oh wait. One minute. Call me Dr. Thulphul.

in discord Vasir: N N O DM: everyone REALLY takes her seriously

DM: Oh god. Phos: Okay. Okay, this is taking a turn for the weird. Vasir: When doesn’t it, Phos? Phos: Well. [pause] Good point. Good point, Vasir.

Beetle, OOC: I’m willing to get the mission started. Beetle’s already completed her reign of terror.

Vasir: Remember, use the alias. When we get started, I’m not Vasir or Rama. I’m Reia’Velar. Beetle: Who are you? Vasir: You heard me, Beetle. Beetle: [giggles] Vasir: Or should I say, Dr. Thulphul. Beetle, sincerely: Thank you. It’s important to me that you recognize my academic achievements. Vekar: What have you written, Dr. Thulphul? DM: Annos just sighs. Vekar, OOC: I’ve got all the aliases jotted down, so I won’t forget. Phos, OOC: Oh shit, good idea.

Vasir, OOC: I bet there’re theaters and, like - Beetle, OOC: There’s probably an entertainment center in there. Vasir, OOC: Yeah. Beetle, OOC: I’m gonna go sit in it and die.

Beetle: i have a question for all of you. Do we have any idea how we are going to interact with each other? Like, how our backstories intersect? DM, laughing: I like how you’re doing this on the tram, on the way there. Beetle, OOC and ruefully: Yeah. I’m like, uh, hey, uh. DM: Well, talk it out, if you - if you would like.

Vasir: Do we have anything to take people with us? How are we gonna do that. Beetle: Do we even have any weapons? Phos: We’ve got Space Tape. DM: Did you buy a new roll? Phos, after a pause: Yes. DM: Did you? Phos, defensively: There’s 10 meters per roll! I haven’t used up that much. DM: ... Okay, fine. I wasn’t keeping track anyway. Beetle, OOC: Never change, you big, beautiful Space Tape dispenser. Never change. I love you. Phos, OOC: Just gonna check how much it costs.

in discord Vekar: Voetreer Orlea = BODYGUARD

Beetle, OOC: I’m just imagining Vekar screaming “BODYGUARD.” Like, who are you? “BODYGUARD.”

DM: How do you all know each other? Phos, OOC: My guess is that the doctor has been betting on me and Isolde in fights. Beetle: Yes. I am a patron of the arts, even the physical ones. Phos, OOC: And thusly she has invited us to this fine establishment, and Vekar comes as her bodyguard, and I guess Aster is just an acquaintance of Dr. Thulphul? Party: [laughter at the name] Vasir, OOC: Meanwhile, I’m taking this seriously. Beetle: We are taking this seriously. Did you not see the work I put into my backstory? Vasir, OOC: [sighs]

in discord Vasir: reia knew voetreer from someone they bought art for. who voetreer was guarding. Vasir: and then maybe reia got art for rach?

Phos, OOC: Oh, yeah. That sounds dank. Vasir, OOC: Like, I just went and bought some art for you. Vekar, OOC: Or some fine, ancient swords. Or krogan warhammers. DM: That’s how Rach and Dr. Thulphul are friends: they both appreciate the arts. Phos, OOC: They both have a decorative, matching warhammer at home. Vekar, OOC: Very fancy warhammers. Vasir, OOC: How about the thing I found for Rach was a frickin’ ancient earth katana? Because - Phos, OOC: YES. Vasir, OOC: - why not go full nerd here? Whatever, this is already hell. DM: Oh my god. Vasir, OOC: Roll in a little weeaboo spice. DM, quietly: Oh my god, that’s terrible. Jesus. Vasir, OOC: You already dug your grave, [DM]. I’m just making it cozy. Phos, OOC and decisively: Sword.

DM: Is everyone happy with the current state of affairs? Vasir and Vekar, OOC: Yes. DM: Okay. Telissa drops you off at the landing pad, you’re in the tram and moving sideways, and [sees Vekar’s player post in discord] JESUS CHRIST.

in discord Vekar: clan Gouda is a clan of weeaboos

Phos and Vasir, OOC: [hysterical laughter] Beetle, OOC: [starts screaming] DM: Nooooooo. Oh gooooooood. Fuuuuuuck. Beetle, OOC: Oh. My god. Phos, OOC: I’m dying. Beetle, OOC: Oh. My god. DM: God save my soul. Okay. Phos, OOC: There ain’t no saving in this Dungeons and Dragons. DM: Oh, hush. I’m DM, I don’t have to do anything. Except all the work.

Phos, OOC: Wait, time out, time out. Can I get, like, two minutes to get some water? DM: No. - Yeah, go ahead.

Beetle, OOC: Say goodbye to the Beetle you knew and say hello - to Dr. Thulphul. Vasir, OOC: Dr. Boubou Thulphul. Beetle, OOC: Dr. Boubou Thulphul.

DM: 1v1 me in chess, [Vasir’s player]. Vasir, OOC: We’d have to find an online chess player. DM: Wait, do you want to? Vasir, OOC: I don’t know. DM: I’m like halfway decent at chess, so I may or may not win. Vasir, OOC: I’ve played it maybe five times in my life? DM, who used to play chess competitively: Oh dear, yeah, okay.

Phos, OOC: I’m back. DM: Wow, look at that. Vasir, OOC: We - and the party - are listening to elevatorstuck because we’re on this frickin’ tram. DM: This is incorrect. I am not doing this because I’m not on this frickin’ tram. Vasir, OOC: You’re the DM. Beetle, OOC: I’m not listening to it, either. Vasir, OOC: Oh. DM: Yeah, I’m the DM. Bite me. Vekar, OOC: You’re listening to it through osmosis, [DM]. DM: Wow. Thanks.

DM: I’ve got to consult my shitty map. - You guys are never going to see these shitty maps, I’m just telling you that right now. Phos, OOC: When I come visit, I’m going to hack into your computer to see these shitty maps. DM: Good fuckin’ luck.

DM: Who was next...? Vekar, right. Vekar, what were you even looking for? Vekar, who had rolled a nat20, OOC: I don’t know! DM: Just save it for another perception roll.

Phos, OOC: I drag Isolde with me, like, I put an arm around her shoulders and say, “Let’s get something to drink.” DM: Isolde gives you a look and says out of the corner of her mouth - Isolde: I’m gonna fucking kill you, don’t just touch me like that - DM: - as she goes along with you.

Phos, OOC: I’m getting a Vodka Infusion. DM, laughing: Is that a legit thing? Is it just a bunch of vodka? Just a bunch of different kinds of vodka? Phos, OOC: Yes. Vekar, OOC: Weed vodka! Potato vodka! Phos, OOC: Cinnamon vodka!

Vasir, OOC: Does Aster even have an alias? DM: I think I might’ve just forgotten to tell you. Let me go look it up. [pause] Oh, shit. Okay, so I have Aster’s name listed here, but the value where I’d put the name in is blank, so - let me just make something up really quick. Vasir, OOC and laughing: Let’s just call him Wasabi Rage! DM: No, fuck that! Beetle, OOC: Starboy. Vasir, OOC, still laughing: We already have Dr. Thulphul! Beetle, OOC: We have such a long talk about background and then Aster shows up and does fuckall. DM: That’s my fault, though. Beetle, OOC: [laughter] DM: Can someone just give me a randomly generated name? Bear, OOC: Yeet. DM: Thanks.

DM: Annos offered you the guest list and none of you took him up on it. Beetle, OOC: Yep, we’re just all fools - Vasir, OOC: Wait, no, I thought we did. Vekar, OOC: I’m pretty sure we did, actually. DM: Hmm. Really? Beetle, OOC: Oh, yeah, we absolutely did. DM: Ha. I’ll listen back in the recording later and we’ll see.

[As it turns out, Annos had only mentioned the guest list but made no move to otherwise offer it to the party, so we were all wrong.]

Phos, OOC: And I take a deep, deep drink of my vodka - Prakash: Oh, god, don’t do that, you don’t want to do that. Phos: I’m a krogan, hon, it’s fine. Prakash: Don’t call me that, please.

in discord Vekar: Narrator: it was not fine

Beetle, in a very weird accent: If I may ask, is there some sort of itinerary I could look at? DM: What the fuck is your accent right now? Beetle, OOC: I don’t fuckin’ know. You think I know what my accent is? Beetle: I’ve been to so many places, I don’t even know what my accent is anymore.

Prakash: [details everything to do in town] Beetle: That sounds quite hella, boy, thank you - DM, interrupting as Vasir and Phos’s player lose it: What did you just say?

in discord Vasir: KLJGKJF Vasir: "that sounds quite hella, boy, thank you" Vasir: FJLSKFJ

Beetle, OOC and laughing: Thank you for giving me recommendations to do around town - DM, in hysterics: Okay, okay, I’m sorry, you have to repeat that, I just lost it all. Say again? Beetle: That sounds quite lovely -

Prakash: You’re welcome, Doctor. If there’s anything else? Beetle: Dr. Thulphul, if you please. Party: [laughter] Prakash: Of course, Dr. Thulphul. Anything else I can do for you? Beetle: No, that will be all. I’ll be retiring to my quarters. Prakash: Would you like me to show you the way? Beetle: Please, if you will. DM, in hysterics: Oh my god. I’m just - I’m just thinking of how much pleasure Beetle is taking in this, how much fun she’s having. Beetle, OOC: She’s having so much fun. Vasir, OOC: This is almost painful.

Prakash: Now, Voetreer, I understand that you are the bodyguard of the good d - of Dr. Thulphul here. I have you in separate rooms, but if you would prefer to stay together, I’m sure we can make accommodations. Vekar: I suppose I’ll leave it up to the doctor. Beetle: Yes, I would like the security of my bodyguard.

in discord Vasir: voetreer Vasir: HE SOUNDS SO DEAD Vasir: INSIDE Phos: Tsæadhjakad THAT VOICE Beetle: IM WEEPING Beetle: THERE ARE TEARS Phos: IM DYINGdf Phos: ds Phos: fdsnamdnsaldsnad Vasir: ............. Vasir: THAT............................. Vasir: UH Vasir: GOD Vasir: lkSAKFHE Vasir: IM.........I FEEL........................... Vasir: SLKFHJGEfjk Phos: He just inwardly goes: I DONT WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN THIS Vekar: This is vekar inside

DM, laughing: Goddamn. Just let him live. Beetle: Voetreer, of course I will be paying you for this service. Phos, OOC: No, no, [Beetle’s palyer], never say that again, don’t, don’t - DM, in hysterics: Uh, Prakash is giving you a weird look, and he says, um - Prakash: I will get Volutia to help you with the bed, Dr. thulphul. Let me show you to your room. DM: And you can kind of tell he’s like, “uh, okay.” Beetle: What presumptions are you making about me? Prakash: Nothing, nothing, of course not. Don’t be ridiculous.

Prakash: I’ll call Volutia about helping you with the bed, Dr. Thulphul. If you’ll excuse me, I need to return to my post - Beetle: Make it post-haste. Prakash: ... Okay.

DM: Every time I hear “Doctor Thulphul,” my brain has a moment of staring into the void and I can’t hear the rest of whatever’s being said.

Beetle, OOC: Is there any way to communicate with each other? Because omni-tools are bugged, so - Vasir, OOC: You know what? It’s called pen and paper. Old-fashioned spy stuff. Beetle, OOC: Oh, yeet. Beetle has a lot of extra paper. Vasir, OOC: And we burn it when we’re done. DM: That’s so fucking terrible.

DM: Roll dex, Vekar. Beetle, OOC: Oh, god. Vekar, OOC: Well, it’s dex. It can’t be that bad. Beetle, OOC: This is going to be so embarrassing. I’m preemptively hurt. DM: I’m glad you’re covering your bases. Beetle, OOC: Like I’m already in pain. Vekar, OOC: Worry not, Doctor, it’s fine. Beetle, OOC: Is it? Vekar, OOC: [rolls an 18] DM: Okay, yeah. Beetle, OOC: Oh, fuck yes.

Beetle: All the voice coaches in the world and none of them can get rid of this accent.

Phos, OOC: I just wanted to hit the intercom and ask whoever’s on the other side, “What happens if we break something in here?” DM: Well, the person on the other end is Prakash, of course. Prakash: If you happen to do that, just let us know, and we’ll get it sorted out. Phos: ... Okay. Prakash: That doesn’t mean you should go breaking things willy-nilly, okay? I just want to make that clear. Phos: It’s just a ‘just in case’ thing, because even with my inventory, I doubt I’d be able to replace something if I broke it. Prakash: No. You would not be able to.

Beetle: I should go inform - inform the person I’m sp - Vasir, OOC: Rach. Beetle: The person I brought with - Vasir, OOC: Rach. Beetle, decisively: The krogan.

Beetle: Vekar, would you mind checking up on Rach for me?

in discord Phos: TAHT IS NOT HIS NAME Phos: beetle said "vekar"

Beetle, OOC: Oh, fuck! Beetle: Voetreer, sometimes I fucking forget your name!

in discord Vekar: say that its one of your dead husbands Vasir: HOLY SHIT Vasir: [Vekar’s player] youre amazing

Beetle: God! You just look like one of my husbands! He passed away tragically from knife-in-the-sternum syndrome.

Phos: That's why there's a need for 'services' Vekar: quick on my feet fast for the memes Beetle: NAT20

Everyone: [laughing] Beetle, OOC, sounding like he’s dying: I’m weeping. DM: Okay, you say this to Vekar. Vekar, what do you do? Vekar: It’s alright, Doctor. I understand the nature of your work. Everyone: [in hysterics] Beetle: Don’t worry, Voetreer, I - you know, sometimes it’s hard. You know, like, um, the voice coach has been working with me on the name thing, too. It just hasn’t taken.

DM: I assume you go find Phos? Vekar, OOC: I go find Rach, yes. DM: Alright, cool. I - I don’t - I don’t know you interact with each other, like, do you knock on the door? Do you just barge in? Do you kick it down? Do you break the door off its hinges? What do you do? Vekar, OOC: I knock on the - Vasir, OOC and laughing: He cryo blasts the door. Vekar, OOC: That’s going to go excellently.

in discord Beetle: beetle still in her room, on the monitor: Space Google Search - earth birds. Big earth birds. Bigger please. What is the biggest earth bird you can find

in discord Vekar: also [Beetle's player] i love boubou but also did you consider "Pithy" Beetle: SDFKJHDFSJHJFHDFD Phos: a good night for brewing vintage memes

Phos, OOC: I’m gonna go to town. Beetle, OOC: Uh... fuck.

Beetle, OOC: Beetle looks at herself at herself in the mirror - and then goes to find Aster. DM: I like that you have to go to the mirror - Beetle, OOC: But like, it’s a really dramatic mirror look, like, she’s doing it, she’s voguing. She’s like, pre-gaming. DM: Pre-gaming what?

drinks (from here)

Potato Blizzard Tonic Snake Noxious Torrent Whipped Orb Spearmint Roar Wasabi Rage Garlic Java Black Parody Sherry Thunder Incredible Tornado Vodka Infusion Oblivious Bull Hushed Eye Blue Velvet Perfect Brew Boiled Petal Spirit Lotus Flower Barrage Cloudy Grog Whiskey Score Wonderful Smash

technical notes

The party examines the foyer. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Vekar → 20 - 4 → 16 Phos → 18 + 1 → 19 Vasir → 17 + 0 → 17 Beetle → 16 + 1 → 17 Aster → 13 + 3 → 16 Isolde → 4 + 3 → 7

Vekar and Vasir check security; Beetle checks to see if there’s anything to loot; Phos looks for weaponry.

Beetle and Phos order a drink. Beetle gets a Black Parody while Phos orders a Vodka Infusion.

The party looks over their respective rooms. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Vekar → 20 - 4 → 16 Vasir → 19 + 0 → 19 Beetle → 3 + 1 → 4

"This room is quite lovely,” Beetle’s player says.

Vekar explains the security systems to Beetle using pen and paper, keeping it out of view of the cameras. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 16 + 2 → 18 He does so.

Beetle covers up her mention of Vekar’s name. Persuasion roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier → 20 + 1 → 21 She does so beautifully.

Prakash spots Vekar handing Phos the paper detailing security in the rooms. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier → 5 + 0 → 5 He doesn’t notice a thing.

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#summary #priority #priority: manor feictear #the dm #session 10

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solarwindandcosmicash · 8 years ago

Text

interlude iv: belle of the ball

absent: Kate’s player, Vekar’s player

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The party returns to the Apricity after a short shore leave. Shenanigans ensue, but the break doesn’t last long; Fawkes has been hard at work and has found something that the party needs to see.

summary

After the barcrawl, the party spent the other twenty-four hours of their shore leave doing their own thing before returning to the Apricity. Vasir poked around the Citadel a bit:

“They didn’t do much, like me when I have a day off,” their player says with a laugh.

Phos nursed a hangover and then took Kilo out to chill at the lake. She also tried to learn more about Leti Avonius; she managed to figure out that Leti is head of C-Sec in the Zakera ward.

I process this for a bit before saying, “So you’re saying that Phos is - stalking, basically - “

“Just a little bit,” Phos’s player says. “Just to make sure she won’t fuck up as royally as she did last time.”

“Oh, god.”

Beetle was hungover and spent most of the day with Holosmea and Sihhum, wherein she whined endlessly. After she had recovered, though, she said her goodbyes and left the apartment.

“She probably notices Phos trying to learn more about Leti, so she just follows her around with her tactical cloak on,” Beetle’s player says.

“She just follows me and Kilo around?” Phos’s player asks, incredulous.

“Yeah,” Beetle’s player says, laughing. “She’s just like, ‘hm, interesting.’“

Once the party reconvenes on the Apricity, they are immediately greeted by Aster requesting that they retrieve a star chart that Isolde had hidden somewhere on the ship. Phos elects to stay on the first deck with Aster and Isolde as Vasir and Beetle go down to second deck, where Beetle is called into Annos’s office to receive a Roomba. She immediately places a plastic knife on it (but doesn’t otherwise secure it, having no access to tape of any kind) before continuing down to Engineering.

Phos, after trying one last time to convince Isolde to tell her where the charts are, goes instead to look around crew’s quarters, though she doesn’t find anything. Vasir checks out first the medbay and then the galley, where they find the star charts after a suggestion from Kara to check in the cupboards. They bring it back to Aster soon after.

Beetle tries to eavesdrop on a conversation Fausius is having on his omni-tool using her Tactical Cloak, but fails to do so. Instead, he finishes up his conversation and she shoulder-checks him on her way out.

Once the party has completed the tasks set out for them, Annos calls them into his office, where he and Fawkes are waiting.

notable lines + interactions

Phos, OOC: But yeah, I think all of us are ready? DM: Mmkay. Beetle, OOC: Are we ready? DM: Ready freddy? Beetle, OOC: We are not. Phos, OOC: My body is not. It wants to sleep. But my mind is stronger.

Phos, OOC: The ultimate power move: deny your body what it needs. Vasir, OOC: Wow. DM: So die. Beetle, OOC: Power move. Vasir, OOC: Wow.

Beetle: Hey, guys, I had the best vacation: I got trashed! DM: Aster just gives you a thumbs-up. Beetle, OOC: Beetle dabs.

Phos: What the hell do you need a star chart for? DM: Isolde shrugs. Beetle: That’s nerd shit.

Vasir, OOC: [posts this]

Aster: Oh, god, you didn’t put it on the Citadel, did you? Isolde: What? No, no, god, no, I wouldn’t do that, you actually need it, right? Aster: I do need it! Please give it back. Isolde: No. Beetle: Is it in space? Isolde: No, it’s - Beetle: Please, god, tell me it’s in space. Isolde: It’s on the ship.

DM: Roll for it. Phos, OOC: Oh, dear.

Phos, OOC: And it’s not very impressive. DM: Yeah. Isolde’s like - Isolde: Mm, let me consider that. Hm. Uh, I’ve considered it. No.

Beetle, OOC: Beetle’s not gonna fuck around talking about this. [rolls] Oh, mama. Vasir, please. Vasir, OOC and laughing: [rolls an 18] Beetle, OOC: Thank you, Vasir.

DM: You find some scraps of paper and you get really excited for a bit, but they aren’t star charts. Beetle: Fuck, free paper! DM: Do you take the paper? Beetle, OOC: Absolutely.

Phos, OOC: I think I’m just gonna chill up here, because it’s kind of both Aster and Isolde’s fault for losing it, like, Aster could’ve kept a better eye on it, and Isolde is just being a little shit - DM: You misunderstand. Aster was looking at it and Isolde just straight up took it and hid it. Beetle, OOC: You think we’re good at finding things?

Beetle, OOC: Could you maybe give us a list of the decks? I’m bad at thinking.

DM: Oh, god, someone’s looking through the door. [distressed hum] Beetle, OOC: Beat them! DM: It’s fine, everything’s fine. Phos, OOC: Snooped. DM, quietly: It’s fine. Beetle, OOC: Hello? Anybody there? DM, hushed: God, okay, that’s another person. I bet I, like, took their room by accident? This is fine.

Tris: Hey, you. Annos wants to see you. Beetle: Which one? Tris, after a pause: Assman wants to see you in his office. Beetle: Us? Tris: Just do it. Beetle: Assman? Us? [pause] Assman? [longer pause] Okay. Let me get into a vent real quick. DM: Oh my god. Vasir: Beetle! Tris: The door is right there, holy shit.

Annos: Where’s Beetle? Vasir: She’s crawling through a vent right now because she doesn’t like doors. DM: He doesn’t look surprised by this.

Annos: Put the cover back on the vent and then take the door out, okay? Beetle: I’ll do it.

in discord Vasir: "take the door out" Phos: on a date? Vasir: so...annos wants........beetle to.......take the doors off his office Vasir: okay. Phos: with candles? Phos: and nice food? Vasir: keels over on my desk and puts my face in a pillow and tries not to screamlaugh

Annos: Good. I need you to do it. Beetle: Is this a favor you’re calling in? Annos: No, this is an order as your commander. Beetle: That’s your first mistake, Assman. Annos: [sighs] Beetle: Well, I’m out. With my child. Annos: Excellent.

Beetle, OOC: She, like, puts [the Roomba] down and opens the door and says, “Be free!” DM: Did you turn it on? Beetle, decisively and OOC: No. DM: The Roomba doesn’t move. Beetle, aghast: It’s dead. DM: Kara glances over, and then she and Tris exchange glances, and then she just goes back to work.

DM, to Beetle: So you’re like, “It’s dead!” and you put your hands on it, like, “No, my child!” and, like, the button is there, but as you’re moving your hands over it, you just keep skimming over it, so this Roomba stays off. Beetle: Give me a shroud so I can bury this like it deserves. DM: Annos closes his office door Beetle, OOC: Yeah, Beetle’s just outside his office, kneeling on the ground and screaming, “It’s dead!” DM: Advika is there, and she glances over to see you prostrating in front of this machine. Advika: Have you turned it on? Beetle: What the fuck do you mean? DM: She comes over to you. Advika: Have you turned it on? Beetle: Why would I turn on my own child. That’s disgusting. Advika: Let me just - DM: - and she leans over and presses the button - Advika: Okay! Uh, I’ll just - I’ll - yeah. Okay. Gonna back away now. Slowly. Beetle: You better.

DM: It makes a soft whirring sound, as if greeting you. Beetle, yelling: IT’S ALIVE.

Beetle, OOC: Beetle takes out some lint and sprinkles it in front of the Roomba. DM: ... Okay. Are you feeding it - Beetle: Eat, my child.

Advika: Actually, while you’re here, could you maybe go find Fausius? He’s been missing for a while and I don’t know where he went. Party: [dead silence for 6 seconds] Advika: Okay, I see - okay, I’ll just - alright, sorry, I guess I’ll just do it on my own. Bye! Beetle: Are you sure that Isolde didn’t stuff him in a locker? Advika: Yes, because she’s tried, and he doesn’t fit. Vasir, OOC and quietly aghast: My god. Beetle: You know what? That’s true. Okay. Advika: Yeah, so. Beetle: Well, you know what? I can do two things, I can multi-task. I can look for some star charts, I can look for another person, it’s cool. This is good. Advika: Glad - to hear it? Good - luck? Beetle: Won’t need it.

Chen: Hey, Beetle! What are you doing here? I heard you have a Roomba? Please tell me you didn’t bring it here. Beetle: I have the Roomba! - I left it upstairs. Chen, instantly: Oh, thank god. Beetle: It’s alive. Chen: What are you doing here? Beetle: I’m looking for some papers and a person. Chen: Well, you found some people. What kind of paper are you looking for? Beetle: Um, some nerd shit? Like, uh, stars - charts? Starts, if you will. Chen: Well, if you’re looking for nerd shit, you are in Engineering, so that does fit the bill. But start charts? Uh. I have no idea why they’d be down here.

Vasir: Did either of you see Isolde do something suspicious around here? Tris: You’ll have to be way more specific.

Vasir: Aster, I found a star chart in the kitchen. Was there only the one, or were there more? Aster: I hope to god there are not. DM: And there’s a slight pause. Aster: Okay, Isolde said she just took one, so we’re good.

Phos, OOC: Vasir solved your star chart puzzle, Isolde. DM, extremely pained: This isn’t the Adventure Zone.

Vasir, OOC: Roll a dex saving throw to avoid being run over by a turian. DM, laughing: I don’t know if that would be necessary.

Beetle, OOC and laughing: Beetle shoulder-checks him. DM: Okay. As you do this, you manage to startle him, so he, like, yelps or something, and then he says - Fausius: Okay, who the fuck was that - DM: - and starts swinging his arms around in front of him, trying to find you. Beetle, OOC and in hysterics: Beetle leaves. DM: Fausius sees the door to the hangar open, and he yells - Fausius: Fuck you! Vasir, OOC: Oh my god. I feel so bad for Fausius. Beetle, OOC, still laughing a little: Yeah. I’m really sorry. All of this is in-character for Beetle, but I feel really bad.

Vasir, OOC: What do you see, cotton-eyed joe? DM: I was going to say ‘with your special salarian eyes,’ but that works too. Vasir, OOC: It rhymes with ‘where did you go.’ Beetle, OOC: What do you see with your special salarian eyes... my brand!

DM: The only room none of you have been in yet is maintenance. Vasir, OOC: I mean, Advika is a maintenance person, so, you know. [pause] Beetle, OOC: Okay. Wow. Damn. - I’ll go there.

Advika: Oh, hey! Did you find Fausius? Beetle: Yes. Advika: Did you tell him to come up? I need his help with something right now. [pause] Beetle: Oh! You wanted that? Advika: I thought that would be implied by ‘find Fausius,’ but yes! I did want that. Beetle: I’m gonna, uh, I’m gonna... Fausius is on his way right now, probably. Just finishing up a call - Advika: A call? Beetle: - let me, uh, make sure he didn’t get lost.

Kara: Okay, I’ll just - let me just - I’ll get back to this later, Tris. DM: And she gets up and walks down the stairs to third deck. Vasir, OOC: Time to scram. DM: Yep.

DM: Beetle, do you want to do anything before things happen? Beetle, OOC: Um... let me think. Vasir, OOC: “Who do I menace now?” Beetle thinks.

Beetle, OOC: Beetle pokes her head through Annos’s door. Beetle: Yo. Stabby McWarhammer? [pause] Good choice. DM: Are you - are you asking, or - Beetle: Good call. DM: Okay, got it. Annos: I’m glad you think so. Beetle: I’m congratulating you on making a good call with Stabby McWarhammer. Annos: Thank you. I think. Beetle, OOC: And then she just like, leaves. DM: The door’s only open a little bit, just enough to poke her head in - Beetle, OOC: Yeah, yeah, just to make him angry. And she doesn’t close it behind her.

Annos: Actually, Beetle, get back in here. Things are happening. Beetle: Oh, damn, things? Annos: And get your friends, too. Beetle: Who? Annos: Get your fellow freelance coworkers. Beetle, OOC: Beetle pings all of them on their omni-tools. Phos, OOC: Am I going to be able to read it? [short pause] Nope! DM, laughing: Tragic.

DM: You have like perfect timing, dude. Vekar, OOC: Awesome. Who do I get to freeze?

Beetle, OOC: Jetpack. Vasir, OOC: Meanwhile, I have two shield upgrades, and I’m the only one. Still. DM: Vasir is now your tank. Embrace it. Vasir, OOC: God. Beetle, OOC: Beetle is your tank now. Vekar, OOC: No, Beetle is our jet. Beetle, OOC: Beetle just jets up like an avenging god. Does a triple-flip snipe. Vasir, OOC(?): Uh-huh. I’ll believe it when I see it. Beetle, OOC: You know what? Fair.

DM: Holy shit, I can listen to music. Vasir, OOC: I linked some stuff further up. DM: No. I’m gonna listen to my music, thank you. Vasir, OOC: But this is so good. DM: No. Vasir, OOC: Yes. Vekar, OOC, muttering: It’s probably elevatorstuck. DM: No. Vasir, OOC: Yes. DM: No. Vasir, OOC: Yes. DM: No. Vasir, OOC: Yes. DM: No. Vasir, OOC: Yes. DM: No. Vasir, OOC: Yes. Beetle, OOC: No. DM: No. Vasir, OOC: Yes. Beetle, OOC: Weh. DM: Yes. Vasir, OOC: Yes. Beetle, OOC: [unintelligible noise] DM: No. Vasir, OOC: Yes. Beetle, OOC: Hm. DM: Yes. Vasir, OOC: Yes. Beetle, OOC: No. DM: No. Vasir, OOC: Yes. Beetle, OOC: Yes. DM: Maybe. Vasir, OOC: Yes. Beetle, OOC: No. DM: Je ne sais quoi. Vasir, OOC: Yes. Beetle, OOC: Maybe. DM: Quoi? Vasir, OOC: Yes. Beetle, OOC: No. Phos, OOC: No. Beetle, OOC: Maybe. DM: Français? Beetle, OOC: Possibly? DM: Cowèurde. Beetle, OOC: Hmm? Phos, OOC: [starts speaking Danish]

DM: What if I just translated the Bee Movie script into French? Beetle, OOC: Yes. Vasir, OOC: Why would you do that? DM: Do you remember when I did that? Vasir, OOC: No, I remember you doing parts of it, but why would you do that again?

Vekar, OOC: [buys 4 shield upgrades] Party: [various oohs and ahhs] Beetle, OOC: Just a fun fact about me, I completely missed the shield upgrades. DM: You got a jump jet, though. Beetle, OOC: I diiiiid. A way to ruin things.

Vekar, OOC: [essentially gains 39 hit points in one go] Phos, OOC: I’m just gonna stay behind and talk to people instead. DM: Wow, so no different, basically. Phos, OOC and laughing: Basically. Except before, I stayed in the front. Now, I’ll stay behind the tall-ass turian.

DM: You got a shield upgrade? Beetle, OOC: No. DM: Oh. [quieter] Oh. Vasir, OOC: She sounds so disappointed. DM, laughing: It’s no skin off my back, let’s just put it that way.

Phos: But, um. Yeah, Tris, I need to know - I guess I wouldn’t, like, say to tell me your whole life story because that would be fucking weird, especially considering I have no business nosing around in that, but I need to know what - what are you planning to do with Kilo? Considering you’ve taken them under your wing, I need to know if you have any ideas about how to take care of them. Tris: I know how to take care of kids. Phos: ... And can I know the reason why you suddenly decided to pick up Kilo? Tris: No. Phos, echoing: No. Okay, but, Tris, I fished them out of there. I have a lot - I care a lot for the id, and I really need to know this to, like, let you keep them. Tris: What I do is not up to you. Phos: No, maybe not, but what’s happening to Kilo is my business. First priority. And I need to know if you’re reliable to take care of them. DM: You can tell that she’s kind of like - she doesn’t want to give it to you, but eventually she sighs. Tris: Okay, I guess I am being a little hypocritical. Fine. What do you want to know? Phos: What is your experience taking care of kids. Tris: [pause] Well, I was an orphan and I was adopted, and I was pretty close to other kids in the orphanage. Is that good enough for you? Phos: Mm. It’s really - Sienan said something similar and I noticed later on that she’d been abusive and I tried to fix it, and apparently it wasn’t fixed, and... [sighs] Do you - Tris: Anyone who hurts kids deserves to die. Phos: Yeah. Fair point. The only reason we kept Sienan because of information. Otherwise I would’ve taken her out, but. Would Kilo around on the Apricity, they’re gonna be dragged into danger. Do you what to do to keep them safe? If they’re pulled into something, are you ready to take responsibility for their life? Tris: Yes? DM: She’s tilting her head at you, like, obviously, why are you even questioning her on this. Phos: Yeah. Sorry. I haven’t experienced anyone else taking an interest in them, and I’ve tried my best taking care of Kilo, and it’s a bit difficult to my lifestyle and Phara and Abel have been taking care of them, but - if something happens, I’m just gonna make the kid hide. But I know if Kilo hides, they’re gonna get into the mess anyway, you saw that happen on Nepts. If somebody else had landed and had asked Kilo about the paper, they would’ve just given it to them. And that could’ve ended badly. Tris: So what’s your point? You’re exploring hypothetical timelines now? Phos: I’m saying, just in case, what would you do? Tris: Depends on the situation. Phos: If we’re attacked on the Apricity, or on the ground, and Kilo is - Tris: Those are two very different situations. Pick one. Phos: If we’re on the ground, like, we’ve landed for some reason or another, and the ship is being attacked, what are you gonna do? Tris: Protect them or die trying. Phos: Okay, valid. I respect them. Do you need to know anything about Kilo? Since it seems like you know your stuff. Tris: No. They’ve told me enough. Phos: Okay, good. I’m glad. Tris: Look, if you’re really curious. Why don’t you just ask them what they think? Phos: You’re right. Do you know where they would be? I looked around earlier but I didn’t find them. Tris: In my office. I just let them sleep there. I’ll give you the passcode, I guess. Phos: Thanks. See you around, I guess. Tris: Sure.

technical notes

Phos persuades Isolde to tell her where she hid the star chart. Persuasion roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier + bonuses → 8 + 2 → 10 Phos fails to convince Isolde.

Vasir and Beetle check out the first deck to find the star chart. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Vasir → 18 + 0 → 18 Beetle → 12 + 1 → 13

Vasir determines that the star chart is not on the CIC.

Beetle crawls into a vent. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 16 + 1 → 17 “Beetle looks pointedly at the door, back at Tris, and then just goes into a vent,” Beetle’s player says, daring me to argue. “You think I take doors like a fool?”

“I’m just gonna knock on the door like a regular person,” Vasir’s player says.

Beetle tries to turn Stabby McWarhammer on. Mechanical roll. 1d20 + mechanical modifier → 8 + 0 → 8 Beetle fails to locate the power button on Stabby.

Phos persuades Isolde to tell her where she hid the star chart, again. Persuasion roll with disadvantage. 1d20 + knowledge modifier + bonuses → 3 + 2 → 5 Phos fails to convince Isolde. (Again.)

Beetle and two of the Chens check out Engineering. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Beetle → 12 + 1 → 13 Ann → 8 + 0 → 8 Bea → 8 + 0 → 8

Beetle finds more loose scraps of paper. She pockets it.

“Oh, fuck,” her player says, “At the end of this, I’m gonna make the sickest papier-mâché project.”

“Make a piñata,” Phos’s player suggests.

“And what, fill it with dirt for the Roomba?” Vasir’s player says.

“Yeah,” Beetle’s player says.

Phos checks out Crew’s Quarters. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → 17 + 1 → 18 Phos does not manage to find the star charts.

Phos tiptoes around Crew’s Quarters. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 12 + 2 → 14 She manages not to take anyone up.

Vasir and Suella check out the medbay. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Vasir → 7 + 0 → 7 Suella → 3 + 4 → 7

Vasir and Suella do not find the star chart, as Suella had predicted.

Vasir, Tris, and Kara check out the galley. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Kara → 16 + 4 → 20 Tris → 2 + 3 → 5 Vasir → 1 + 0 → 1

Vasir opens the cupboards and a bunch of plastic bottles hits them in head.

“It’s a rain of pain,” I tell their player. She doesn’t laugh.

Fausius notices Beetle. Perception modifier. 1d20 + perception modifier → 15 + 2 → 17 Fausius can’t see Beetle, but he knows something’s up.

Phos persuades Tris to tell her why she is so fiercely protective of Kilo. Persuasion roll. 1d20 + persuasion modifier + bonuses → 14 + 2 → 16 She does so.

Phos opens her omni-tool. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → 16 - 2 → 14 Phos tries to get access to the passcode Tris sends her.

Phos reads the message from Beetle on her omni-tool. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → 2 - 2 → 0 She absolutely does not do that.

The party levels up.

Beetle gains 1d20 → 20 HP and adds +1 to her... I actually have no recollection or record of what stat her player added to, so that’s a problem. Oh well, into the summary it goes.

Vasir gains 1d20 → 13 HP and adds +1 to their knowledge stat (9, +0 modifier).

Phos gains 1d20 → 17 HP and adds +1 to her strength stat (18, +4 modifier).

Vekar gains 1d20 → 19 HP and adds +1 to his... okay, make that two players where I have no recollection or record of what stat his player added to.

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#interlude #summary #session 10 #interlude iv #the dm

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solarwindandcosmicash · 8 years ago

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aeilnor - Today at 6:22 PM us: play dnd in mass effect to have fun and explore a verse we love us actually playing: beetle BUYS A PANINI communist evil doppelgangers - Today at 6:22 PM we are roleplaying getting a fucking panini from spacebucks i am your god now - Today at 6:23 PM this fucking accent Temporary god up in here - Today at 6:23 PM us, also: Space Starbucks is real and we have a whole gimmick around spacetape ™ Bophades Cannet Heat - Today at 6:23 PM look lily would we get this experience from a bioware game? aeilnor - Today at 6:23 PM honestly? given how you can buy fish and shit? yes

#campaign updates #mod Ultraviolet

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solarwindandcosmicash · 8 years ago

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Operation: It Takes a Helping Hand.

Canon operation. Guest DM: Mod Helium

Absent; Kate’s player

prev I start I next

Phos asks the group to help her save a couple acquaintances that have been captured by a slavering. Without the help of their diplomatic Krogan, they attempt to figure out where the pair has been taken.

summary

The group, missing Phos is pulled aside by Annos. Telling them that he’s been asked a favor from Phos to help her out as she is on her own mission, the team is briefed that on the previously successful mining-colony Nepts there is a mission for the others + Tris.

Phos talks to the others via a vidcall and tells them that the mission is a search-and-rescue, where the people they’re searching for are a pair of Phos’ old comrades; Phara and Abel. They’ll have to figure out where they were taken and stage a rescue. Annos also hands the group a datapad with additional information.

It’s a small industrialized planet, a rather small civil population exempt for the resistance force that has been settled there for about five years at this point. The two people you must locate is [Phara] and [Abel] Vas Kavo’al, they are both members of the resistance. They were last heard from 36 hours ago. Locate their residence and figure out what happened.

As the crew is dropped off at a landing-pad on Nepts, they are received by a nervous-looking Asari named Filanaris and a disgruntled Elcor named Kauf. They tell the others that they have yet to figure out what exactly happened, as everything has been hectic since the kidnapping.

Entering the town, Beetle manages to spot a salarian child standing by themself and holding a piece of paper. Confronting the child, they find out that the kid is Kilo and they are Phos’ pseudo adoptee that is usually taken care of by Phara and various members in town. The paper they held also told the group the password to a computer - supposedly in Phara and Abel’s home. As they find out this information, Tris takes a shine to Kilo and decides to bring them along as to make sure they are taken care of.

The group also talks to various other people in town. Helping out a pair of Asari, they learn that the town is built on top of Phara and Abel’s destroyed ship, thus making it their permanent residence. Furthermore she explains that various people are brought there to be kept safe until they can be transferred to another planet. Afterwards, they also catch the traitor - a salarian named Din that seemingly sold information about the whereabouts of the couple. Dragging Din to Kauf in a very embarrassing manner, he takes Din with him to be interrogated.

When entering the house where the couple was last seen, Kilo explains that they were hidden as the slavers attacked. Vekar also manages to fall into the hole of the shaft where Kilo had hid. The others investigate the room and Tris finds a datapad with a personal message from Phara.

I don’t think I managed to lose them this time, I’m sorry Phos.

If they are as stupid as 12 years ago they’ll be at [set of coordinates]

Also, if you are the odd group, I’d like you to try and tell her that we’ll be fine. She worries but Abel and I know that she wouldn’t abandon the information she finally managed to find on [The Habitat].

- Phara

Furthermore Vasir and Beetle investigate the computer and the papers on the desk. The documents reveal information about various slaveroutes and possible hits on them. On the computer they find information that Abel is an active fighter and mercenary and Phara is a partially known informant that occasionally works with the shadowbroker.

After this the group goes to talk to Kauf, whereas they learn that Din is in one of the Jail cells and that Kauf has yet to learn anything useful from the traitor.

Finally moving out to the base, they see that there is someone else charging towards their goal. Kilo confirms that it is Helios and that she is a matriarch that is friends with Phos. They also hit up on Phos and they learn that Kilo is perhaps the only other person she will possibly listen to, whereas Tris interjects that she hadn’t planned to leave them behind in the first place.

When reaching the base, they see that Helios has blasted her way into the base and is facing off three grunts. As they arrive, they attract the attention from Helios off the grunts as she sees that Kilo is with them. While yelling at the others, one of the grunts takes their chance and shoots her in the back, heavily damaging her. Hereafter the others take down one of the grunts while Vekar heals up Helios and she joins the battle once more with a powerful shockwave that helps taking down the remaining enemies.

When confronting the group, Helios accepts their explanation about Phos telling them to bring Kilo to keep her pacified. Moving up a floor, they see that there are only two corridors, one left and one right. They start inspecting the left one, hearing noise from one of the rooms. After kicking down the door to the domitories of the base, Tris and Vekar manages to get some heavy damage on the two grunts residing in there. The battle is short and they find little of value in the room. Expect for Beetle, that steals a large amount of pants, with one pair she ties around her neck like a cape.

Inspecting the next room, they find one of the two missing Quarians - Abel. He hits it off instantly, contributing bad pickup lines, as he’s taken a beating and jokes with everyone that he lays eyes on.

Finally moving onto the last corridor, the team attempts to avoid a heavy incinerate that is sent their way. Whereas the culprit of the attack is revealed to be Phara and the couple is finally reunited.

Going back to the town, Tris makes sure to announce that Kilo is now a part of the crew. Before takeoff Vasir goes off to talk to Filanaris and Beetle to talk to Kauf. Vasir learns of the workings of the town and Beetle learns of the background for Din’s betrayal. After this, the crew + Kilo leaves Nepts.

notable lines + interactions

Tris: So, this resistance is on this planet, or is it a more intricate system?

Phos: It’s everywhere.

Tris: I see-

Beetle, cutting in: oh, shit Phos, are you part of the illuminati?

Vasir: Beetle.

Beetle: Uh, I’m gonna be honest here. I’m really disappointed, because first I thought you were a fan. I have my pen out to autograph something – but now, you’re just people, so.

Vekar, OOC: Can we roll perception to check which one look like a “freedom fighter”?

Tris, OOC and laughing: Who looks most useful?

Beetle: Hey kiiiid?

Kilo: Ye-yeah? I’m sorry?

DM: Wait, that is not the voice of a child!

Beetle, OOC: [Laughs]

Beetle, OOC: Okay, actually, Beetle tells the group about this, like.

Beetle: This kid has something in their pocket, and I want it.

Vasir: Beetle, you don’t need to rob a child.

Tris: Do we have time for this?

Beetle: Yes! We always have time to rob a child.

Tris: That was a rhetorical question. The answer is no!

Beetle: Fuck you, I’m doing it.

In discord:

Vekar, OOC: second of all, the salarian child is not dabbing as you would

Vasir, OOC: vasir is so tired already

DM: Oh – okay, what is Beetle going to do and is anybody going to stop her?

Tris, OOC: No.

Vekar, OOC: No.

Vasir, OOC: No.

Tris, OOC: Wow, you’re not even sneaking it out of their hand. You’re straight up snatching it from them.

Vasir, OOC and sounding very exhausted: Why?

Vekar, OOC: Why not?

DM: So, you reach down and snag this paper out of this poor kid’s hands.

Tris, OOC: Tris starts laughing.

DM: and as you do this, the kid throws up their arms over their head and starts saying.

Kilo, sounding scared: I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I didn’t know you wanted that. [continued apologies.]

Vekar: Doing great already, aren’t we boys?

Tris: What’s your name?

Kilo: It’s Kilo.

Beetle: Do you weigh a kilo?

Party: [Starts laughing]

Kilo, sounding sincere: I was told I wasn’t very big for a long time, so they gave me that name.

Tris, OOC and still laughing: Oh my god.

Beetle: Don’t worry about it Kilo, my name is uhh. Mary.

Kilo: Hello Mary!

Tris: Beetle, what does the paper say?

Kilo: Who’s Beetle?

Tris, OOC: [Dies]

Vasir: Ancestors preserve me.

DM: So, you try to read this note. it just looks like latin mixed with kanji, and it does not make any sense to you at all.

Beetle, OOC: Where the fuck are the picture books up in here?

Tris: So, wait Kilo. When did Abel give this to you?

Kilo: It wasn’t Abel, he was there. Phara gave it to me.

Tris: When did, she - or they, give it to you?

Kilo: He gave it to me before telling me to hide -

Tris: When did she give it to you. Or they give it to you?

Kilo: He gave it to me, right before someone came and took them away.

DM: [Posts the note in chat]

Tris, OOC: That’s not a language for a child to read!

Kilo, when asked about their parents: I - I’m sorry, I don’t know. I don’t remember them.

Tris, OOC: Can I roll to hug this child?

DM: Yes, roll to hug the child.

Vasir, OOC: What if she fails and ends up punching the child!?

in discord

Tris: hug: 15 + modifer???

Vekar: Strenght modifer

Vekar: assert dominance

DM: Ok, so. [In response to everyone rolling a perception roll] I’ll give this to Tris as well since it’s very noticeable.

Tris, OOC: Hell yeah!

DM: What you notice, is that Kilo has eye and arm augmentations. As if somebody had poured petroleum on this child and lit them on fire.

Tris, OOC: Holy shit, can I hug this child yet!?

in discord

Vekar: what the fuck

Vekar: Do not assert dominance

Vekar: unpower play

DM: And, Tris, you successfully hug the child.

Tris, OOC: Sweet! I am going to carry Kilo around with me, for the rest of this campaign.

Tris: You have to do all the fighting guys.

Vasir: Does this mean we can borrow your grenade launcher, and are you going to bring a child into combat?

Tris, thinking for a moment: No, and yes.

Kilo: Phos helped me meet this guy who made me able to see again! Well, see better at least.

Tris, OOC: Holy shit, Phos is a philanthropist.

DM, confused and non-amercian: A what!?

Vasir, OOC: So now that this shit is over. Vasir is going to go over and talk to the quarian.

DM: What does everyone else do?

Vekar, OOC: Well, maybe the rest of us should look for that computer.

DM, expectantly: Sooo, do you guys wanna split up?

Tris, OOC: You know, nobody in this last campaign has suggested this. So I’m glad we’re upholding the tradition.

Sienan: [In response to asking about if she knows anything] I don’t care about any of it.

Tris, OOC: I like her already.

Beetle, OOC: Big mood.

DM: Ok, so. You can’t see her face for the face-plate, but you get the feeling that she’s shooting a condescending glare at Kilo.

Sienan: Oh. You again.

Tris, OOC: Wow! I suddenly don’t like her anymore.

Beetle, OOC: So, Beetle pats her on the arm like -

DM: She slaps your hand away.

Sienan: Don’t touch me!

Beetle: Ok, rude!

in discord

Tris: tris: i am adopting this child

Tris: tris: i am a terrible parent i am still adopting this child

Vasir: beetle: lets take this grumpy pyromaniac onboard

Vasir: tris: lets take this salarian kid along

Vasir: beetle and phos: lets get stabby mcwarhammer

Vasir: vasir: theres not enough alcohol onboard

Tris: [wine emote]

Lavendar: Oh help would be nice, but I thought you guys were in a hurry?

Beetle, OOC: For side-quests? Anything.

Beetle, OOC: Can I roll a perception check?

DM: Yeah, what about?

Beetle, OOC: Just the people in general.

DM: Sure, check away.

Beetle, OOC: Don’t worry guys, Beetle will see every single item in the area.

DM, tiredly: You want to check them for loot, is that what you’re doing?

Vasir, OOC: Oh god.

Beetle, OOC: Yeet.

Vasir, OOC(?): Beetle.

DM: So, Tris, you pick up this asari like a sack of potatoes. And the only thing he can say as his face is pressed against the back of your suit is.

Yusuke: This sure is a nice pillow.

Tris: If you touch anything, I will shoot you in the ass.

Lavendar: I will add to that and shoot him in the dick.

DM: So, as you walk up to him -

Beetle, OOC: Beetle dabs.

DM: He just laughs and goes.

Din: W-What are you doing?

Beetle: Living my truest self.

Tris, OOC: Okay, screw this. Tris pulls her gun out and points it at him.

Din: Oh my god. O-oh my god.

Vasir, OOC: Is this while holding Kilo?

Tris, OOC: Yes, this is the stage. She is holding Kilo with one arm and pointing the gun with the other.

Beetle, OOC(?): There can only be one salarian on this planet and it’s me!

Vasir: Beetle, stop!

DM: So, this is what happens when you point the Cold Shoulder, a sniper rifle at point blank at this guy. He starts panicking.

Tris: Do you know what happened to Abel and Phara?

Din: Oh god, I’m sorry. The slavers, I couldn’t -

DM: And he just breaks down crying.

Din: I was the one who betrayed them! [starts sobbing]

Tris, OOC: Holy shit. Uhm, we don’t have Phos, so we don’t have space tape. How are we going to tie this guy up?

DM: And he’s just sobbing on the ground, as Kilo looks at him and quietly says.

Kilo: We could call Kauf.

Tris: Oh, that’s legit. Anybody got them on their comms? I don’t.

Vasir: Nope.

Beetle: Nooo, but I have this comm, sponsored by Space Tape™. So when I say Space Tape, I get a roll of Space tape.

Tris, OOC: Holy shit.

Vasir, OOC: [laughs]

DM: So, you could either call Phos or drag this poor dude to Kauf.

Tris, OOC: Let’s drag him.

Tris: Vasir, do you mind holding Kilo for a bit?

Vasir: Sure, but please don’t drag him.

in discord.

Vekar: what is this child basketball

Tris, OOC: Uh, I got a ten, so that might be necessary.

Vasir: Just, don’t give him a heart attack.

Tris: Anybody who betrays others deserves death, that’s just the way it goes.

Beetle, OOC: So, let’s just make sure to note that he is completely subdued.

DM: So, you’re dragging this poor dude along by the scruff of his neck. And he’s still crying. There’s like a trail following behind him and tears are just streaming down his cheeks as you reach Kauf.

Beetle, OOC: [Adds their support roll]

Everyone: [Laughs]

DM, still laughing: Actually, Beetle. You lift his feet off the ground, but his body is still dragging. And as you only manage to lift his feet you kinda wonder why this isn’t helping, because everything else is still only getting dragged.

Beetle, OOC: Din I’m sorry!

Beetle: So Kauf, are you going to do an mortar and pestle thing with this guy?

Kauf: [disgusted] I would never resolve to such basic tactics.

Tris, OOC: I like this guy.

Tris: Here, you can have him.

DM: So Kauf can’t pick up this salarian, because he fucking doesn’t have arms -

Tris, OOC: Can I swing him on his back - can I roll to swing him onto his back?

Beetle, OOC: Pwease! No steppy!

Vasir, OOC: You’ve made this grave [Tris’ player]!

Tris, OOC: Shut up.

Vasir, OOC: It’s [Beetle’s player]! Of course he would say that eventually!

DM: You launch Din into the stratosphere, never to be seen again.

in discord

Vasir: DIN IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN

Vasir: LIKE TEAM ROCKET

Beetle: tris FLINGS DIN INTO THE SUN

DM: No, actually. You just awkwardly lift Din up onto Kauf’s back, and Kauf is just fucking ignoring you until he’s there and then walks off.

DM: So, you talked to all the people in town, and I am very happy about this. Because I love Kilo. And now there’s only the house left. Unless you want to talk to Sienan or Kilo again of course.

Tris, OOC: Oh, I’m just dragging Kilo with us.

Vekar, OOC: We’re dragging Kilo with us anyway, so might as well go to the house.

DM: So you see a rather haggard-looking house, where the door is blasted off and there are like - scorch-marks going into the house.

Beetle: Fire.

Vasir: Kilo, do you wanna stay outside?

Kilo: No, no I’m good. I saw it before, It’s not that bad inside. It’s just the door that’s a little scary.

Tris: I got you.

Beetle, OOC(?): I’m into this spooky door. Does it creak?

Vasir, OOC: God damn it Beetle!

DM: The door is blown open. It cannot be opened. It is half laying on the floor - half leaning against the wall. There is no door to be opened.

Beetle, OOC(?): Aw.

DM: Ok, so. As Vekar walks forward as the first one into the house, he falls into a hole.

Party: [starts to ask questions about it, mostly just about how deep it is.]

Beetle: It’s alive!

DM: It’s only like a meter deep, like a vent that’s been uncovered. He’s only stuck in it till about hip-height. And actually, as this happens, Kilo like quietly mutters.

Kilo: Oh, yeah. Should’ve mentioned that.

Beetle: It ate him.

Vasir: You ok Vekar?

Tris, OOC: Tris steps around him.

DM: Ok, so Tris. What you see is that there is a desk and under this desk lies a datapad. Whereas, on top of the desk, there’s a computer and some stacks of paper. And as you notice this, you step around him as he’s stuck in this hole like -

DM: - Square peg in round hole.

Vekar: Don’t worry about this guys, I’ll get myself out.

Vasir, OOC: I’ll try and hack the computer.

Beetle, OOC: I go over and to hack -

Tris: You know we have the password?

Vasir: Oh yeah, that’s right, I forgot. Between dragging a hapless salarian around after threatening to murder him, by pointing a sniper-rifle at point blank at him.

Tris: It was effective!

Tris: Who’s the odd group?

Kilo: Oh, that’s the name Abel gave you guys. He hears about some of the stuff you guys go through and it sounds too unrealistic. So that’s what he calls you.

Vekar, from the hole in the ground: It’s all lies!

DM: So Vekar does like a sweet flip out of this hole. Even though it’s physically impossible.

Tris: Hm, let’s call Annos.

Beetle: Let’s hit up Annos!

Tris: You actually said his name, holy shit.

Beetle: Forget about that!

Vasir: It’s a historical day Tris, we’ll have to write it down in the history books.

in discord

Beetle: roll to intimidate party about saying annos' name: 18 +1 = 19

Kilo: Who’s this A-un, Anos, Annos guy?

Tris: He’s my boss.

Kilo: Oh... Is he odd too?

Tris: Yes.

Party: [Laughs]

Beetle: So Anno - Assman. What size are these deals? Are they baby-sized or big-sized?

Annos: They go from information of where to place poison to kill a whole base, to toppling governments.

Beetle: Oh, that’s baby-sized stuff.

Phos: Sienan is not supposed to go anywhere near Kilo! I’ll have to fix this - fuck!

DM: And you like, hear her breathing as she runs for a few seconds before she speaks up again.

Phos: So, yeah. Maybe make this quick, I’m in kind of a tight spot here.

Beetle: Uhm, Phos can you maybe put yourself on push to talk? Please?

Phos: Beetle, have you considered turning on - push to death?

Tris, OOC: Oh shit.

Vekar, OOC: Damn.

Vasir, OOC: [Laughs exasperatedly]

Vasir: Should we bring these papers with us?

Beetle: I’m bringing them in case I need more petitions.

Vasir: Beetle, will you hold off on the petitions until we’re off this mission - That’s all I ask.

Beetle, ignoring that: Petition to end slavery.

Vasir: Oh yeah, that’s a nice thought. Too bad it doesn’t end that way.

Kauf: [suprise], what have you now found?

Tris: There’s proof of slavers being on the planet.

Tris, OOC: And she like, gives him the datapad and papers - or holds them up so he can see them?

in discord

Beetle: [posts this in discord]

Beetle: Uhm, can we do unspeakable evils onto this dude?

DM and Vasir in unison: What?

Kauf: [confused] what?

Beetle: The old, I dunno, interrogation?

Kauf: [Heavily disapproving] You’ve got a child with you.

Beetle: Yeeeeess?

Vekar: Beetle doesn’t care about any of that.

Beetle: Kauf, Kauf, bro. I’m gonna put a raincheck on this.

Tris, OOC: [Laughs]

Beetle: I feel like we need, a real platonic connection.

Kauf: [sarcasm heavily implied] Sure, I would love that.

Tris: This is weird, let’s go.

Vasir: Are we bringing Kilo with us to this base?

Tris: Yes.

Vekar, OOC: We’ve already introduced them to the matrix.

DM: So, as you move towards this base, you notice that there is something else - a shining blue projectile moving in the same direction.

Tris: Kilo, is this Helios?

DM: Kilo like, squints and goes “Yeah, that’s Helios. She looks very angry.”

Beetle: Oh shit! she’s sonic!

Helios: Why the fuck did you bring a child here?!

Tris: You’re the reason actually. You’re the reason.

DM: And, you’re rolling for initiative.

Vasir, OOC: Alrighty.

Tris, OOC: I am holding a child, this’ll be interesting.

DM: You will have disadvantage on attack rolls, but will have advantage on dexterity rolls.

Tris, OOC: Oh, swag.

DM: Sorry guys, I’m kinda new to all this initiative stuff.

Vasir, OOC: It’s ok, you’ve got a lot of people to roll for. Including that poor matriarch.

Tris, OOC: I’m not sorry.

Vasir, OOC: You’re never sorry [Tris’ player] when you do this. Because you’re like a bitter dungeon master.

Beetle, OOC: Yah.

Tris, OOC: I think you’re projecting.

Vasir, OOC: I’m not even an dungeon master, so how can I even be projecting, huh?

Tris, OOC: Projecting your bitterness!

DM: Oh god.

Tris, OOC: I’m just kidding.

DM: Well, you don’t have your powerhouse, so I gotta know who I’m gonna shoot at first.

in discord

Vekar: we dont have our mobile cover

Vekar: vekar was ahead of the group

Vekar: get me shot

DM: Aaand one of the grunts is going to attack - Beetle!

Beetle: Oh yeah!

in discord

Vasir: now that we're in initative: REMEMBER! YOUR! SHIELDS!

Tris: WHAT ARE SHIELDS?????

Beetle: WHOM?

Vekar: SHIELDS? HOW DO THEY WORK?

Beetle, taking damage: I eat that for breakfast!

in discord

Vekar: 8 points of damage is cereal?

Beetle: delicious

Tris, OOC: Yeah, so, could I roll a perception check to possibly check for somewhere to - put Kilo?

DM: Yep, sure, go ahead.

Vasir: You’re the one who wanted to adopt this child and bring this child into a combat zone. And now you wanna get rid of him? Good job.

Tris: Hey Vasir, remember when Phos told us to bring Kilo to talk with Helios? Yeah. You can fuck right off dude.

in discord

Vekar: throw them down the cliff we just came up they'll make it

Vekar: wait tris is going to hide kilo in a hole in the wall

Vekar: neat

Beetle: put the child in the cubbyhole

DM: So, as you set Kilo down, they give you like a hug - like they’re a bit scared to let you go. But they do let you go.

Tris: It’s ok, I’ll be right here.

Kilo: I know, but Phara said the same thing earlier right before he disappeared.

Tris: I’ll be fine, I’ve got friends.

Beetle: Yeah, look at me, I got shot and I’m doing great!

Vasir, OOC: Wait, if he used tech armor and then moved to her, I don’t know if he can use medigel. over he’s using both tech armor, running and medigel? Can he do that?

Tris, OOC: It’s up to you DM. Up to you!

DM, thinking for a minute: I think - you know what, to make this in a realistic setting. He’s running over as he turns on his armor, and when he like reaches her, he has the medigel ready.

Tris, OOC: What a kind DM.

DM: Ok, so you fix her all up. And as she straightens she clasps your shoulder and asks “Who the fuck made the decision to bring Kilo here?”

Vekar, sounding slightly scared: It was not me.

Beetle: She got shot, and now she’s fine too.

Helios: Yeah, ok, thanks for that.

DM: And she throws out an arm and casts a shockwave.

DM: And it’s now the turn of the two grunts. Since they are both prone in the air, they will both take shots at you Vekar.

Vekar, OOC: Neat.

In discord

Vasir: quietly, soul detatching: "neat"

Beetle: mood

Vekar: YOu think this tech armor is for show vasir?

Beetle, OOC on the subject of taking care of Kilo and the consequences of what the team is doing atm: You think our Phos is capable of parenting? Hm?

Vasir, OOC: Hey I think Phos would just sigh, so much -

Tris, OOC: She would kick our asses. Probably.

DM: Yeap. So you take aim, and hit this batarian right between the eyes.

Beetle, OOC: Yeet! Beetle dabs.

Beetle: How does that make you feel Weakest Link Still Standing!

DM: So, Kilo can’t see the shot, but hears it. And they’re like trying to calm themselves down -

Tris, OOC: Can I take their hand?

DM: Yeah, and Kilo like squeezes back as you do so.

Tris, OOC: Aw.

DM: So now it is Vasir -

Beetle, OOC: Wait, I have something to say.

DM: What?

Beetle, OOC: I have a funny line.

Beetle: Hang in there buddy.

DM: Jesus christ. Vasir, save me from this nightmare.

DM: So now it is Tris’ turn. Do you want to move from where you are?

Tris, OOC: Nope!

DM: Okay, would you like to move your turn and jump in later?

Tris, OOC, and a bit hard to hear: Yep!

DM: ... was that a ‘nope’ or a ‘yep’?

Tris, OOC: Yep!

DM: And that is it. Now you only have to deal with a terrified Kilo and a pissed off Helios!

Vekar, OOC: I think Tris can take care of both of those things.

DM: [Laughs]

Tris: To answer your question - It was Phos’ idea.

DM: At that, Helios holds up a finger - like, give me a minute, and puts her head in her palm.

Helios: Of course it fucking was.

DM: And she raises her head and looks at you Tris.

Helios: Okay, I accept this reasoning, because this is Phos we’re talking about. I’ve dealt with her for about fifty years now.

Tris: Oh, good.

Helios, exhaustedly: Urgh... Okay, we’re good, we’re good.

DM: And she like, walks over to Tris to say hi to Kilo. And they like, wave and tries to give her a hug, but it’s a little awkward since -

Tris, OOC: [Laughs]

DM: - she has to move close and like have to stand in close quarters and Kilo gives her a hug and it’s a little -

Tris, OOC: This is very conflicting for Tris, because she doesn’t wanna be this close to anybody. But she’s also holding onto Kilo, and she doesn’t want to pass him over to her. So she just takes it.

DM: So, you guys walk down the hallway to the third door. And as you do that, you notice that it’s hackable - but it’s also a very shitty door. Now, you can either kick down the door or hack it.

Beetle, OOC(?): Hell yeah! Kick down this door!

DM: Roll me some strength there Beetle.

Beetle, OOC(?): I’m going!

Tris, OOC(?): ‘cuz this has worked so well for you historically.

Beetle, OOC(?): Fuck you.

Vasir: With extreme dispassion. Fuck you.

Beetle, OOC: A one would be Beetle making a crucifix of herself. Just Killing herself on it.

DM, laughing: Yeah, your body slams on the door and you die.

Tris: I would love to kick down this door, but I am holding a child.

Beetle: I will take the child. Kick. Down. The. Door.

Kilo: Are you okay Mary? Did it hurt?

Beetle: It hurt me. Now I want it to hurt.

Beetle, OOC: Beetle does like a sick guitar move to like, to play Vekar in. Like - Ny, ny, nyeaaa, nyeaaa!

Everyone: [Laughs]

Beetle, OOC: Beetle dabs.

Vasir, OOC: You dab, while holding Kilo?

Beetle, OOC: Beetle actually just sets them down and goes like “Check this out!” and dabs.

Tris, OOC: I’m gonna use marksman.

DM: Okay. How does it work?

Tris, OOC: Honestly I don’t know. I know how it works in-game.

Beetle, whilst the DM is distracted with initiative rolls: Kilo you rocking?

Beetle, after a small pause: Kilo, you rocking?

Beetle, after yet another small pause: Kilo, you rocking?

Vasir, OOC: You’re asking this to a child?

Beetle: Kilo, you rocking and rolling?

Kilo: I-I-I’m sorry? Popsicle's? I-I don’t really understand.

Tris, OOC: What are you asking a child?!

Beetle: I’m just asking you, how you’re doing, yanno?

Kilo: O-oh. I’m not as bad as before, the fire’s gone. It helps when the fire is gone.

Beetle: Sweet! You’re Vasir’s now!

Tris, OOC: [Laughs]

Vasir: Only if you’re okay with it you know.

Kilo: Yeah, that’s fine.

DM: And it’s your turn first Tris!

Tris, OOC: Hm. I guess I can’t use my grenades, so I guess I’ll just shoot at him again.

in discord

Vekar: nuke this bitch

Tris: nuke everyone else too

Vekar, OOC: Is anybody alive?

DM: Yeah, there’s one guy alive still. Ready to pew pew you guys.

DM, after [Vasir’s player] took a pause: So, you guys took down the grunts. Anything you wanna do now?

DM: ...

DM: Guys?

DM: H-hewwo?

Beetle, OOC: WHat?

Tris, OOC: Fuck you. Whose turn is it?

DM, tiredly: You already took both of them down!

DM: [finished lengthy explanation about the surroundings] - And there’s like clothes lying around that you can’t really use for anything -

Beetle, OOC: I take the clothes.

Vasir and DM: [Laughs]

DM: ... You take their pants.

Beetle, OOC: Yeah I take their pants.

Vasir, OOC: It’s like Sera - from Dragon Age, with the guards.

Tris, OOC, giggling: Yeah.

in discord

DM: Beetle gained: [an questionable amount of pants]

Beetle, OOC(?): Now they don’t have pants.

Vasir: Why Beetle. Why do you need pants made for Batarians?

Tris, OOC: Well even better, she has the locations and pants. Like, we got everything. Best of both worlds.

DM: [Unintelligible blabber] Great.

DM: Are you ready?

Beetle, OOC: Wait, I’d like to add that Beetle ties a pair of pants around her neck like a cape.

Everyone: [fucking dies]

DM, sounding like they’re dying: Great. Yeah. Pantcape. Cape made of pants. Whatever you wanna call it.

DM: Actually Tris, it was a good thing that you stayed outside. Because in the next room you see a quarian tied down and looking pretty roughed up. You can actually hear a slight wheezing noise as he breathes.

In discord

Vekar: vekar checks to see if they're alive

Tris: QUARIAN ASTHMA- fisk

Beetle: GET HIM A QUARIAN INHALER

Tris: QUARIAN ALLERGIES??

Tris: GET HIM A QUARIAN EPIPEN

Beetle: I’m not touching this quarian. If I touch him and he dies, like. That would really suck.

Vasir, OOC, after Vekar wants to heal the quarian: I can imagine that you’d attempt to set the broken arm?

Vekar, OOC: Oh yeah. But I don’t think I have the supplies for that.

Tris, OOC: Is there a firstaid kit somewhere?

DM, thinking: Well I guess you could go into the dorms - no wait. You go into the first room and see that it’s a kitchen and you find like - a spork.

in discord

Beetle: everyone after being healed by vekar:

Beetle: Posts [This]

Vasir, OOC: [dying sounds]

Everyone: [Laughs]

DM: Actually - you enter the kitchen and you find one of those bigass spoons to use as support.

Vasir, OOC: Thank you. That is much better than a spork.

DM: So, as you set his arm. He fucking screams because holy fuck that’s painful.

Tris, OOC: “It’s fine!” Tris says to Kilo.

DM: Kilo is like shaking and says.

Kilo, anxiously: That’s Abel. That’s Abel. Is he okay? is he okay? is he okay?

Tris: They’re just setting his arm.

Kilo: Is that a bad thing?

Tris: No it’s a good thing.

Kilo: Oh.

DM: Vekar, as you manage to set his arm - he looks up at you and says.

Abel: Holy fuck.

Abel: Hey did it hurt?

Vekar, OOC: Oh my god.

Vekar, strained: What?

Vekar and Vasir, OOC: [Fucking dies]

Abel: When you fell from heaven?

Tris, OOC, wheezing: Fucking hell. [Starts laughing]

Vasir: Are you Abel?

Tris, OOC: Way to cockblock Vasir.

DM: And as you say that Vasir, Abel looks over at you.

Abel: Well. Getting kidnapped these days doesn’t seem to be so bad, especially when it comes to the rescue crew.

Tris: Shut the fuck up.

Vekar: Keep this up - and we’re gonna break your arm again.

Vasir: Vekar -

Kilo: Oh yeah, that’s Abel. He’s like this but don’t worry, he’s not serious about it.

Tris: Wait so. This guy is so pathetic that he hits on every single person he sees. Is that what you mean?

Kilo: Yeah. Phara says that it’s his way of pathetically communicating with others.

Vasir, OOC: [Sounds like they’re dying]

Tris, OOC(?): God that’s amazing! Uh, wow.

Beetle: I like this! I love this!

Vasir: We were sent to rescue you and Phara. Do you have any idea where he might be?

Abel: Oh - Uhm.

DM: And he turns serious for a second.

Tris, interjecting, OOC: Just for one second.

Beetle, OOC: I want to roll a deception on him.

DM: You want what?

Beetle, OOC: I wanna say like.

Beetle: We have a 100% success rate!

Beetle, OOC: And I feel like I should roll deception on that.

in discord

Vekar: shouldn't we also question him about how these slavers got here

Vekar: which was a thing i think?

Vekar: we do have 100% success rate

Beetle: we killed the SCIENTISTS

Vekar: it just costs us one beetle every mission

Vasir: O HSITH

Vasir, sounding like they’re giving up on everything, OOC: [Various dying noises] This is the worst, first with Abel and now all this.

Tris, OOC: Did you search up pickup lines for this?

DM, also sounding like they’re dying: I may have a tab open - 100 best pickup lines.

Vasir, OOC: Is Abel gonna flirt with everyone now?

Beetle: [Rolls higher than Abel on the deception]

Everyone: [Dies once again of laughter]

Beetle: Yes, we got a 100% success rate. No casualties, don’t worry though we gotchu’.

Abel: Oh that sounds hella cool! You guys are the odd group right? Then I suppose I must’ve been wrong then.

DM: And then, he looks at Beetle and says - oh fuck where is it?

Abel: Girl. Are those space pants? ‘Cuz your butt is outta this world!

Beetle: Wooo! I love you!

Abel: I love me too.

Beetle: Finally, somebody of my own heart.

Tris: shouldn’t we get this show on the road? We still need to find Phara, right?

Abel: Yeah! sounds good, though -

DM: And he like tugs on his restraints.

Abel: Maybe the first step would be to get me out of these. Unless you’re into that.

Tris: Hey, shut the fuck up.

Vasir: I thought you were married?

DM: As this goes on, Kilo like mutters under their breath. So Tris and maybe you Vasir hears this.

Kilo: Yeaah. This sure is Abel. Sure is.

Vasir, OOC: Oh no. This poor child has had to suffer through such bullshit.

Tris: I’ve adopted you.

DM: Are - Are you seriously gonna adopt the child?

Tris, OOC: Yes! I am seriously going to adopt this child!

DM: ... Am I going to have to role-play Kilo on the apricity? Is this what is happening?

Tris, OOC: Yes!

Beetle, interjecting the discussion: Kilo, we have a pet on the apricity!

Tris, OOC: No - It’s, god. [starts laughing]

Vasir: Beetle, when did you even get the roomba? You haven’t gotten it yet.

Beetle: Uh, I have my ways.

DM, stopping the roomba vs. cat discussion: Okay. Chop, chop, chop, chop! Time restraints!

Tris, OOC: I’m gonna call Phos, is that okay?

DM: Yep.

Tris: Hey Phos, we got Abel and will now go get Phara. Okay bye.

Vekar, exhausted: Yeah, we got Abel as he flirts with anyone.

Tris, OOC: Oh god. Vekar does not approve of this at all.

Beetle: I fucking love Abel!

Phos: You either hate him or you love him. And I love him like a brother so -

Tris: Can I punch him?

Phos: No. Please don’t punch him. As he is probably in bad shape at the moment.

Tris: Fuck.

DM: And you hear gunfire from her side of the channel and she yells something over her shoulder that you don’t really pick up on. But when she turns back to you she says.

Phos: Don’t really worry about his pickup lines. Be more worried if he actually sounds sincere. Okay?

Beetle: Sounds pretty gay, Phos.

Phos: Phos out.

Beetle: A 100% success rate team! Let’s goooo!

DM: So Tris, what happens is that both you and Kilo notice that something is flying your way. And because you are a kickass motherfucker, you roll outta the way with ease. When it comes near, you see that it was an incinerate sent on your direction.

Tris, OOC: With a kid!

DM: With a kid indeed.

Beetle, OOC: Oh shit, it’s Vasir’s dark twin.

Beetle, OOC: Wait, did we regen our shields?

DM, thinking about it: Well, I guess Abel flirted the fuck outta you and gave you time to regen some shields.

DM: So, the shadow that both Tris, Kilo and Abel saw steps closer. And when you can like see who it is, you - or atleast Abel recognizes them as Phara. As he does, he yells.

Abel: Phara, holy fuck!

DM: And Abel like sprints forward and despite his arm, tackles Phara to the ground in a hug.

Tris, OOC: Oh dear.

Vasir, OOC: Well then.

Abel: The fucking Odd Group came! Phos fucking found us! She’s like the least competent with technology and she managed to track us down!

Beetle: 100% success rate.

DM: When Phara and Abel manage to rise off the ground. Like the two nerds in love they are -

Tris, OOC: [Snickers]

DM: Phara turns to you guys.

Phara: Thanks. Phos never mentioned your names, but I can guess by who you are that you’re her team. But Abel usually calls you the Odd Group.

Tris: I’m not.

Beetle: She’s not usually a part of our clique.

Vasir: Tris is on the same ship as we are.

in discord

Vekar: Yes that is us

Vekar: we are the odd man group

Vekar: we perform all over the galaxy

Phara: Oh, I guess that what Phos tells me of her superior not approving of her is false then.

Tris: No, not really.

Vasir: She keeps mispronouncing his name. But I don’t think he’s mad at her.

Beetle: Annos is - Fuck

Everyone: [Laughs]

Beetle: Fuck you! Fuck everybody in this room!

Beetle, OOC: And she just throws up her hands.

Beetle: Let’s get some groupcall action in here!

Beetle, OOC: And Beetle calls Phos.

DM: Hm?

Tris, OOC, sounding unsure of this: Group call?

Beetle: Yeah, conference call, let’s get Phos in on this action.

DM: Oh jesus christ I’m gonna be four different people in one conversation.

Beetle, OOC: I live to make you suffer.

Vasir: Hey Phos, we got Phara and Abel and they’re both alive.

Tris, OOC(?): And well?

DM: And as you say that, you notice that there is less gunfire in the background and instead you can her Phos say “Hell yeah! Oh hey guys.” just as an explosion goes off in the background.

Tris: Did you just blow up something?

Beetle: Is that explosions I hear?

Phos: mmmmmmmmaybe.

DM: What the fuck, where is the pickup line?!

Helios: Phos, Phos. What the fuck is this team? I’ve seen the most insane and remarkable work done today and I have no fucking clue what is even going on with these people!

Phos: Welcome to the family Helios.

Tris: Yeah, we can’t tell you anything because then we would have to kill you.

Helios: I’ve done undercover work, I understand the need for secrecy. But holy shit Phos, what the hell did you send to help us?

Beetle: Yeah, we’re super professional.

Beetle: The only thing that isn’t classified is.

Beetle: My number.

Beetle: Ayyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Tris, OOC(?): God dammit.

Beetle: I’m kidding, I’m not giving you my fucking number.

DM: What was that? I was looking up pickup lines.

Vasir, OOC: Never mind.

Tris, mockingly, OOC: What was that, I was looking up pickup lines.

Vasir, OOC: Just get on with this torment so I can leave this planet.

Phos: Beetle, you can’t see me. But I am dabbing right now.

Vasir: Oh god.

Beetle: Yeet.

Tris, OOC: Tris starts walking towards the exit.

Kilo: Wait, I wanna talk to Phos too!

Tris: I’ve got her frequency on my comm.

Kilo: Aww.

Phara: Look I want you to keep yourself in line. You might think you know these people, but I don’t want you to make them more uncomfortable than you already have.

Tris, in the distance: I’ll fucking shoot you.

Vasir: Not while holding Kilo!

Beetle: No, continue, this is fucking fun.

Kilo, to Tris’ statement: That might be fair.

Vasir, under their breath: Oh my god.

Tris: I... this kid is amazing. Holy shit.

DM: So you pick up this pistol and see that it is super shitty. Maybe even so shitty that you cannot even con this away.

Beetle: Thanks Vasir, you gave me the shittiest pistol in existence.

Vasir: I asked if you wanted it and even gave you one of the credit chits. So don’t act like I forced it on you.

Beetle: You know what, that’s fine.

in discord

Tris: beetle's plan: sell this pistol to elaye

Tris: the ultimate swindle

Vasir: If it comes to worse, you can always throw it at someone.

Beetle: No that’s alright. I think I have a plan for this already.

Beetle, OOC: And she looks at it with one of her sticky grenades and pockets them both.

DM: O-oh dear.

Vasir, OOC: Vasir just kinda sighs and I guess they leave the room.

in discord

Vasir: GOD

Tris: OR THAT

Vekar: beetle's true plan

Vekar: put the pistol on stabby

Beetle: Canon route

Beetle, in response to seeing an open space of nothingness dropping down: Is this where dashcon was?

Everyone: [Dies]

Tris, OOC: Tris calls Telissa for pickup because she won’t walk all the way back to town.

Beetle, OOC(?): Did you see my strength modifier, it’s negative two, so I sure as hell am not walking back again.

DM: You’re just gonna take this child without asking permission?!

Tris, OOC: Yep!

Vasir: Does Kilo even want to come with us Tris?

Tris, suprised: Oh, that’s true!

DM: God.

in discord

Vasir: vasir: have you thought about this at all

Vasir: tris: oh! no i havent! at all

Tris: tris: B)

Beetle: Yo Kilo, you wanna hang out with the cool kids?

Kilo: That- That sounds fun. But I’m gonna need a few things, is that okay Tris?

Tris: Yeah let’s go!

DM: And as you speak with Phara, Abel moves up behind him and puts his hand on his butt and while he’s looking at you and goes like.

Abel: My mom thinks I’m gay, care to help me prove her wrong?

Vasir, completely deadpan: What.

Tris, OOC: [Laughs]

Vekar: That’s it. I’m breaking your arm.

Tris, OOC: [Fucking dies]

Vasir, OOC: Vasir doesn’t even aknowledge this and just turns and walks away.

Tris, OOC: Are they oddly flattered though?

Vasir, OOC: No. They can’t even begin to render what gender Abel was assuming they were. And the way Abel said it. And they’re tired of Abel just spouting pickup lines.

Beetle: You threw an incinerate at me, but really the thing you threw an incinerate at was my heart.

Beetle: Now it’s on fire.

Vasir: I hate you Beetle!

Tris, OOC: When Tris asks to adopt Kilo, all she says is:

Tris: I’m taking this kid now. Bye.

Phara: Maybe you should asks Phos about this, because she was the one who found and brought them here in the first place.

Tris: Hmm. No.

Vasir: Let’s not, anger the Krogan on the ship.

Tris: I can take on a fucking Krogan.

Vasir: Tris, it’s not a matter of this is a matter of taking a Krogan. It’s a matter of Phos taking care of Kilo and the situations we get into.

Beetle, interjecting while Vasir is talking: We could all have the discussion at a teaparty. I still have the mug.

DM: As Vasir is trying to rationalize with Tris. Kilo goes.

Kilo: I’d like to see a spaceship.

Tris: See! Done.

DM: Do you want to see Kauf and Filanaris?

Beetle: Yeah, I have to talk to Kauf about torture.

DM: Beetle, as you enter the jail again, you notice that Helios has followed you. And the moment you see Kauf and just manage to greet him, she is flying between you and gives Kauf a hug.

Kauf: [Joyful] I am glad to see you well.

Beetle: Yeah! I’m doing great!

Kauf: [Displeased] I was not referring to you.

Kauf: [With growing annoyance] What do you want?

Beetle: Remember I did a raincheck earlier.

Kauf: [Resigned] Yes, the traitor.

DM: And as he moves to walk over to the cell, Helios floats up to lay across his back. Letting her aura flicker and stuff to clam herself down.

DM: When you reach the cell, you also see a rather bad-off looking Din in there. You can barely recognize the figure in there.

Beetle, looking at Helios: That’s a sick position you got there.

DM: And Helios gives you the middle finger. That’s what happens.

Helios: My elcor. My space.

Beetle: I wasn’t trying to mean anything. I was just saying it looked cool. Looks legit. Giving a compliment.

Helios: Thanks.

Beetle: Anyways, how’s our prisoner, Din doing?

Kauf: [With satisfaction] I managed to get the information about the situation out of him. He was not threatened, but only bribed to give away the place of Phara and Abel.

DM: You’ve adopted the character I love most. I am very happy about that.

technical notes

Tris rolls to see if there’s anything suspicious about Filanaris.

Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Tris → 13

Tris notices that Filanaris looks trustful, if slightly on the verge of a anxiety-attack.

Everyone checks to see who’s most suspicious in the square.

Peception check. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Tris → 9 + 0 → 9

Vekar → 10 - 4 → 6

Vasir → 6 + 0 → 6

Beetle → 15 + 1 → 16

Beetle notices that the salarian child is holding a piece of paper and the salarian male looks shifty-eyed. Nobody else notices much of anything.

Beetle goes to steal the paper from the salarian kid.

Dexterity contest. 1d20 + dexterity modifier.

Beetle → 19 + 1 + 1 → 22

Salarian kid → 18 + 2 → 20

Beetle snatches the paper out of the kid’s hands.

Beetle and Vekar try to read the paper.

Literacy roll. 1d20.

Beetle → 4

Vekar → 20

Beetle wonders about the possibility of going to school, meanwhile Vekar easily reads the note left for Kilo.

The Party looks a bit more closely at this kid.

Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Vasir → 10 + 0 → 10

Vekar → 6 - 4 → 2

Tris → 8 + 0 → 8

Beetle → 12 + 1 → 13

Vasir, Beetle and Tris notice the harsh scarring on one side of Kilo’s body. Vekar, despite being a medically trained field doctor, does not notice.

Tris hugs the child.

Comfort roll. 1d20.

Tris → 15

Tris gives Kilo a hug, and they return it happily.

Beetle checks out the two asari.

Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Beetle → 6 + 1 → 7

They don’t appear to be holding much of value.

Beetle and Tris try to pick up Yusuke.

Strength check. 1d20 + strength modifier.

Beetle → 2 - 2 → 0

Tris → 15 + 3 → 18

Beetle doesn’t even try and Tris picks up this asari like a sac of potatoes over her shoulder.

The party takes a closer look at the shifty-eyed salarian.

Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Beetle → 9 + 1 → 10

Vasir → 3 + 0 → 3

Vekar → 4 - 4 → 0

Tris → 10 + 0 → 10

They don’t notice anything out of the ordinary. Vekar wonders where this genetically altered krogan came from.

Tris and Beetle tries to intimidate Din.

Intimidation roll. 1d20.

Tris → 3

Beetle → Nat20

Tris doesn’t look very intimidating while carrying Kilo but as Beetle draws the Cold Shoulder and points it at him, Din gives in.

Tris and Beetle helps each other dragging Din back to Kauf.

Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier.

Tris → 6 + 3 → 9

Beetle → 8 - 2 → 6

Tris and Beetle manage to drag Din, by Tris holding onto his collar and only half-managing to lift him and Beetle only managing to lift his feet.

Tris tries to sling Din up onto Kauf’s back.

Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier.

Tris → 11 + 3 → 14

Tris manages to awkwardly place the sobbing salarian onto Kauf’s back.

Everyone checks out the house.

Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Beetle → 3 + 1 → 4

Tris → 22

Vekar → 7 - 4 → 3

Vasir → 5

Vekar falls into a hole in the floor. Vasir and Beetle doesn’t notice much of anything. Tris notices a datapad that’s fallen under the table as well as the rest of their surroundings.

Vekar rolls to escape the vent that he fell into.

Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier.

Vekar → 19 + 2 → 21

Vekar does a sick flip out of the hole.

See Notes on first encounter.

Everybody checks out the left corridor.

Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Beetle → 11 + 1 → 12

Tris → 17

Irv → 10 - 4 → 6

Vasir → 16

Helios → 4

Kilo → 9 + 4 → 13

Vasir and Tris both notice that there’s noise coming from the third door of the hallway. None of the others notice much of anything.

Beetle tries to kick down the third door down the left corridor. And then also coerces some of the others to make the same attempt

Strength check. 1d20 + strength modifier.

Beetle → 12 - 2 → 10

Vekar → 12 + 1 → 13

Tris → 16

Beetle stubs her toe doing this. Both Vekar and Tris manage to do a kickass kickflip that knocks the door in and gives the pair a surprise round on the goons.

See notes on the second encounter.

Vekar, Vasir and Beetle checks out the dormitory.

Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Vekar → 12 - 4 → 8

Beetle → 14 + 1 → 15

Vasir → 17

Beetle and Vasir notice that there couldn’t have been that many people living on the base at a one time if this is their dormitories, maybe a max of 8.

There’s also some clothes lying around that Beetle decides to take for herself.

Beetle and Vekar checks out the quarian tied down.

Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Beetle → 16 + 1 → 17

Vekar → 18 - 4 → 14

Vekar notices that the quarian has a broken arm and a few fractured ribs. Beetle notices that the quarian has been roughened up within the last 12 hours.

Vekar is going to heal the quarian.

Medical roll. 1d20 + medicine modifier → 10 x 2 → 20

Vekar heals the quarian for 20 points of damage.

Beetle attempts to deceive Abel into believing the group is more competent than they really are.

Deception roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier → 10 + 1 → 11

Abel resists.

1d20 + knowledge modifier → 3 + 1 → 4

Beetle manages to make Abel believe that the crew has a high successrate when it comes to rescue missions.

Everybody checks down the right corridor.

Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Tris → 19

Beetle → nat1 + 1 → 1

Vasir → 8

Vekar → 15 - 4 → 11

Helios → 11 + 2 → 13

Kilo → 19 + 2 → 21

“I don’t see shit in this hallway.” Beetle’s player says.

“Are you okay Beetle?” Vasir’s player asks.

“I’m fucking blind, that’s what ya’ll.” Beetle’s player asks.

“Let’s talk to Suella about this when we get back.” Vasir’s player comforts.

Tris and Kilo manage to see the incinerate sent their way and dodges it with ease.

Beetle, Vasir, Vekar and Helios all have to roll dexterity saving rolls.

Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier.

Beetle → 8 + 1 → 9

Vekar → 16 + 2 → 18

Vasir → 12 + 1 → 13

Helios → 16 + 2 → 18

Vasir and Beetle takes fire damage from the incinerate.

Damage roll. 1d8 + fire damage → 6 + 3 → 9.

Vasir rolls to hack the first door down the corridor.

Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → 13 + 4 → 17

They manage to hack the door. Revealing a small office with a burnt corpse in it.

First encounter

Initiative roll. 1d20. Noted in order.

Grunt 3 → 17

Beetle → 17

Vasir → 15

Tris → 13

Vekar → 11

Helios → 7

Grunt 2 → 4

Grunt 1 → 3

Grunt 3 takes a shot at Beetle.

Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 13 + 2 → 15

This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 1d8 + 4 → 4 + 4 → 8

The grunt manages to get a decent shot at Beetle, making her barriers flicker.

Beetle takes a shot at Grunt 3.

Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 3 + 2 → 5

This is not sufficient to hit.

Vasir uses incinerate on Grunt 3.

Attack roll. 1d10 → 8.

This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 4d4 + modifiers → 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 → 10 + 3 → 13

The grunts shields are gone and she looks a little uneasy.

Tris checks to find a spot to safely shelter Kilo.

Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier → 19

Tris manages to spot a safe hole in the wall, caused by Helios assault on the building.

Vekar activates his tech armor.

Tech armor roll. 1d20 → 14

Vekar gets an additional 14 hitpoints to his shields.

Vekar heals the heavily injured Helios.

Medi gel roll. 1d20 → 13 x 2 → 26

Helios recovers a decent amount of her health and is able to fight again.

Helios throws a shock wave at the two grunts nearby.

Skill roll. 1d10 → 8

This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 4d4 + 8 → 4 + 2 + 2 + 3 + 8 → 19

Grunt 2 takes a shot at Vekar.

Attack roll. 1d20 → 18

This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 1d8 + 4 → 6 + 4 → 10

Vekars shields flicker, but his tech armor still holds.

Grunt 1 takes a shot at Vekar.

Attack roll. 1d20 → 10

This is not sufficient to hit.

Grunt 3 shoots at Vasir.

Attack roll. 1d20 → 6

This is not sufficient to hit.

Grunt 3 takes fire damage from the incinerate.

Save roll to put out fire. 1d10 → 7

The grunt didn’t manage to put out the fire.

Damage taken. 1d10 + 3 → 7 + 3 → 10

Grunt 3 is now dead.

Beetle shoots at the Grunt hanging in the air to the left in the shockwave, both are prone.

Attack roll. 2d20, take highest number. → 2 & 18 → 18 + 4 → 22

This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll → 3d6 + 4 → 12.

Beetle kills the grunt, hitting between each set of eyes as she says: “Hey, hang in there.”

Vasir moves into the room and takes aim at the Grunt still remaining.

Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 14

(DM note: I should have made them roll with advantage, I forgot.)

This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll → 2d4 → 2 + 1 → 3

Vasir hits the remaining grunt, he looks pretty bad off, but is still standing.

Vekar attacks the remaining Grunt.

Attack roll. 2d20, take highest number. → 8 & 16 → 16

This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll → 4d4 → 4 + 1 + 1 + 1 → 10

Vekar shoots the last grunt in the guts and he collapses.

And that is the end of the encounter!

Second encounter

Tris uses her surprise round to attack the one grunt.

Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 17 + 2 → 19.

This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. With marksman activated, the damage is doubled → 8 x 2 → 16.

The Grunt on the left is bloodied.

Vekar tries to freeze the other grunt with his surprise round.

Skill check. 1d10 → 7.

This is sufficient to hit, the grunt on the right is frozen.

Initiative roll. 1d20. Noted in order.

Tris → 12

Vekar → 11

Grunt 2 → 9

Helios → 7

Bettle → 4

Vasir → 1

Tris attacks the grunt again.

Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 14.

This is not sufficient to hit. The shot bounces off the grunts shields and does no damage.

Tris uses shield boost.

Shield boost roll. 1d20 → 10.

Tris gains an additional 10 armor to her shields.

Vekar attacks the grunt remaining.

Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 13 + 2 → 15.

This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 4d4 → 1 + 4 + 3 + 4 → 12

The Grunt is dead.

And that is the end of the encounter!

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#session 8 #summary #operation #Mod Helium #Operation: it takes a helping hand #Guest session

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solarwindandcosmicash · 8 years ago

Text

operation: drop it like it’s hot

Absent: Kate’s player

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The party goes barcrawling on the Citadel, and some of the actual players get tipsy. It goes about as well as you’d expect.

summary

After a brief shopping expedition with Elaye, the party departs with all of the Apricity crew (minus Irène and Telissa, who stay back on the ship, and Tris, Elaye, and Kilo, who disappear elsewhere) to check out a number of bars on the Citadel. They then witness several intense rounds of rock-paper-scissors between Apricity crewmates to determine who gets to pick the bar first. The Chens ultimately end up successful and lead the crew to a place called...

Surf’s Club

Loud, crowded, and popular, Surf’s Club is known for their cheap drinks and largely Alliance patrons. This is Cat Chen’s preferred bar, largely because this is the only place where she can be reunited with her friends from the military. The rest of the Apricity crew generally do not enjoy the place too much; the Chen triplets, however, couldn’t give less than a shit.

Events that occur here:

Cat arm-wrestles a friend of hers named Tascha Lorenz. There’s a betting pool involved, and Phos and Vasir end up winning 1049 and 99 credits, respectively.

The party learns that Cat joined the Alliance to support her sisters’ educations. Ann and Bea are forever grateful to her because of this.

They also find out that Cat lost a leg during a particularly arduous battle and left the Alliance soon after, following her sisters into academia.

Annos herds the crew and party out of Surf’s Club after some time. As determined by the several rounds of rock-paper-scissors, it is now Isolde’s turn to pick where they go, and she leads them all to a bar named...

Bar Cry

Bar Cry is a fairly respectable establishment as far as appearances go, though the patrons look pretty tough and the drinks are a bit more expensive. Isolde likes to come here not for the crowd or the drinks but for what the bar offers, which is a place called...

Rule Number One

Rule Number One is a fight club - Isolde’s home turf, in fact, before Annos hired her out. It’s a large, noisy space with several small arenas for fighters to sign up for competitions and for bystanders to bet on those competitions. It’s a popular place for turian officers, largely because it provides a poorly-supervised, unregulated area for them to beat the shit out of each other.

Isolde challenged Phos to a duel the first time they met. It’s only now, however, that they actually get the chance to duke it out.

Events that occur here:

Vekar falls into the arena, inadvertently joining Phos in the fight against Isolde.

Isolde thoroughly beats the shit out of both Phos and Vekar. Aster and Beetle win a sizeable number of credits.

Noogies. There’s a lot of screaming involved, and the Chens begin to film their docudrama, “The Relations Between Races After the Reaper War”.

Upon leaving Rule Number One and reentering Bar Cry, Annos ushers the crew and party out and allows the next person, as determined by the intense rounds of rock-paper-scissors, to choose where to go. This ends up being Aster, who brings everyone to...

Pumped Pub Kicks

Pumped Pub Kicks is a shady, seedy establishment that is frequented by mercs, black market dealers, and suspicious people of all types and forms. It’s different from the other bars that the party has been to so far - none of the patronage here seem interested in talking to each other, and strangers have isolated themselves thusly at tables, in corners, and at the counter. The Apricity crew, however, seems very comfortable here.

Events that occur here:

Vasir asks Fausius and Fawkes what the best dextro drinks are; Fausius recommends Noble Zombie and Gentle Blaze to them.

Phos pays Isolde to locate Leti Avonius.

Isolde reveals that her only priority is money, though why this is remains unknown.

Isolde tells the party she is 84.

Isolde, following through on her deal to Phos, overrides Rela’s decision through sheer force of will and brings the party to a place called...

Lounge Zero

Lounge Zero makes everyone on the Apricity uneasy and restless, and it’s not just because it’s frequented by C-Sec personnel: the entire bar is upper-class and its customers, interior design, and atmosphere are uncomfortably wealthy. Because of its socialite patronage, and because the party still technically has an arrest warrant on their heads, it’s a dangerous place to be - but it’s also, as Isolde had predicted, where Phos’s object of affection is.

Events that occur here:

Phos encounters Leti. After a strained interaction that might have ended in altercation were itn ot for Annos’s intervention, the two part ways, both feeling hurt and unhappy.

Beetle tricks three asari into investing in a made-up company called Bubbly. (It sells sparkling wine.)

Kara challenges the party to a dance-off. Beetle and Phos participate.

It’s revealed that Kara is an excellent dancer and has likely received profesional training.

Rela leads the party and crew to the last bar of the night after Annos quickly pushes everyone out of Lounge Zero. Phos spies Tris, Elaye, and Kilo on the way out, however, and makes her way over to speak with them and check in on the salarian child; once done, she reunites with the party and joins them as they end up at a bar named...

Walked Into

Walked Into a small bar, almost exclusively staffed and visited by locals around the area. The place gets its name from the pole situated at the center of its entrance, as new patrons often run into it and thus ‘walk into a bar’. Discounts are also provided to those who perform exemplary pole dances, but Walked Into also boasts good drinks, good music, and good company.

Events that occur here:

The party meets Rela’s sibling, a turian named Veron. They are a bartender at Walked Into and they and Rela seem extremely close.

Beetle pole dances.

The Apricity crew finally branches off here and individual members slowly make their way back to the ship itself.

notable lines + interactions

DM: Are we ready to go? Phos, OOC: Yes. Beetle, OOC: Let’s go, mammals. DM: Okay, last check. Are we all ready to go? Get it all out of your system, guys. Vekar, OOC: Yes. Phos, OOC: My vodka is ready. Vasir, OOC: I have more hard lemonade. Beetle, OOC: Yeeee. Hewwo? DM: You don’t sound ready. Beetle, OOC: Hewwo?

Vasir, OOC: Vasir is actually saving up money now, it’s amazing. Beetle, OOC: Hewwo?

DM, tiredly: Keep track of your money ‘cause I don’t fuckin’ know, man. Beetle, OOC: I was - I don’t - okay, so here’s - here’s a really good story. I was keeping track of mine and I accidentally cleared out my entire notes folder. Phos, OOC: Ohhhh. Vasir, OOC: Ohhhh. DM, head in her hands: Alright, [Beetle’s player]. Beetle, OOC(?): I’m dying! DM: We can deal with that - later. I’m not gonna let you buy things right now, though. Beetle, OOC: I hurt on the inside.

DM: Last mission was... [Phos’s player]’s, and you acquired a salarian child. Nothing bad happened, as I recall. Phos, OOC: Yeah. You all did pretty good. DM: Praise be.

Beetle, OOC: You see a curve in architecture and you’re like, “A fucking asari did this, didn’t they?” DM: Just a single curve. Beetle, OOC: Yeah. Vekar, OOC: But I mean, who knows? Not Bioware! Phos, OOC: Bioware, give us lore! Vasir, OOC: Right? I have to make up everything for quarians myself. Phos, OOC: Oh, god, we know even less about quarians than anyone else. Vasir, OOC: Enter me, the one-man operation to build their intelligence network because one day I was like, “Vasir should be a spy!” Phos, OOC: Horrible. Okay, let’s get this drunken show on the road, shall we? Beetle, OOC: Don’t dungeon and drink. Let’s go, mammals. DM: ... Okay, then.

in discord Beetle, OOC: hewwo

Vasir, OOC: [Beetle’s player], stop that. Beetle, OOC: [cackling]

Phos, OOC, sounding like death: [coughing] That’s a lot of vodka. Vasir, OOC: Are you okay, [Phos’s player]? Phos, OOC, sounding like death: No. Not really. Vasir, OOC: Did you swallow too much? Phos, OOC, recovering: No, it’s just the - god, the last bit of the glass is pure vodka and it takes some power to down it. Vasir, OOC: Yeah. Phos, OOC: But now I should be good for another half hour before having to worry about drinking again. Vasir, OOC: Meanwhile, I have to keep staggering my lemonades because we never start when I think we’re going to, so I have to keep drinking so slowly. Vekar, OOC, who had been one and a half hours late: I apologize.

DM: I don’t even remember what I said last time because it’s been a hot fifteen minutes and I don’t fucking know what happens in fifteen minutes.

in discord Vasir: vasir perception check: 5..............let me die............... Vekar: perception check: 16 -4 = 12 Beetle: beetle perception check: 3 +1 = 4 Phos: Perception: 5 + 1 = 6 Vasir: [posts this]

Phos: vasir, diassociationg Vasir: GOD

DM: Alright, you guys don’t notice a goddamn thing. Anyway... Beetle, OOC: Don’t worry your pretty little heads about anything.

Bea: We get to pick first! DM: And what you guys see next is this very intense round of rock-paper-scissors, except it’s between several people, so it’s very exciting. Beetle, OOC: Oh, fuck yes. DM: And in the end, one of the Chens does win, and she says - Ann: We get to pick first. We’re going to Surf’s Club. Aster: Can we - can we not? Can we not go there?

Cat: Surf’s Club is mostly Alliance patronage, which is why no one wants to go, so... any complaints? Phos: Hell, no. Vasir: I don’t care. Beetle: Nope. Phos: Time to snob up some Alliance officers. DM: [snorts] Vasir: Phos, please. Phos: I haven’t had a drink in like three months, give me this, Vasir. Give me this, please. Vasir: Alright, alright.

DM: Also, keep in mind, the more drunk you get, the more negative modifiers you get to your rolls, so depending how much you drink in-character and out-of-character, you may find yourself rolling - worse - Phos, OOC: Yeet. DM: - in places. Vekar, OOC: Only worse? We can’t do better? DM: Um, I guess in some circumstances you can do better, but it’s specific circumstances. Phos, OOC: Time to fish out another glass of vodka.

Vasir, OOC: I keep hearing ‘serf’s club’, and it makes me think of medieval serfdom, and it’s like - ‘surf’s club’ makes more sense. Beetle, OOC: I keep trying to think of a nautical-themed bar, but I keep thinking of Dangnamrompa’s Titty Typhoon. DM: Oh my god. Vasir, OOC: What. DM: You know what, uh - think of whatever you want. I’m not even going to describe this place, just, whatever you think it looks like, that’s what it looks like. Beetle, OOC: Sweet. Vasir, OOC: Yeah.

Phos, OOC, on the topic of splitting up the party: I am going to remain optimistic, for better or for worse.

DM: I wish I’d come up with a drink menu because I didn’t, and I just realized how stupid that was in retrospect - Vasir, OOC: Wait - Vekar, OOC: Hold on - hold on, that drink name generator we found - Vasir, OOC: We have it! Let me look at my history! Beetle, OOC: Beetle would like a space Long Island. DM: Space Long Island. That’s... incredible. Vasir, OOC: We’re okay! I found it! Beetle, OOC: Oh, fuck, i forgot about this.

Beetle, OOC: I’m ordering a Flower Mud. - Shaken, not stirred. Vekar, OOC: Mild Enigma on the rocks, please.

Vasir, OOC: Vasir’s not going to get anything, I don’t think. DM: Yeah, there’s actually not a lot of stuff for dextro people here, so. Vasir, OOC: They’re going to wait to see if Vekar dies or not from ingesting it, so yeah. DM: Vekar, roll a constitution save - I’m just kidding, don’t actually do that. Beetle, OOC: This is the session where Vekar fucking dies. Vekar, OOC: Can I roll a perception check to ask the bartender if they actually have dextro stuff? DM, through laughter: Uh, yeah,, if you want to - I mean, you already ordered a drink, so I’m not really - Beetle, OOC: We’re making the inference that the bartender wouldn’t serve you something that would kill you. Vekar, OOC: Fair. Fair.

DM: Okay, do all of you go, or do Vekar and Beetle stay classy and stay by the bar counter. Vasir, OOC: Wow. Wow. Beetle, OOC: Um - Beetle shotguns an Apricot Puff.

Beetle, OOC: Alright, now Beetle’s ready to go over. Vekar, OOC: Someone’s gonna get real drunk tonight. DM: Oh, god.

DM: [. . .] And someone’s taking bets for this arm-wrestling contest. Beetle, OOC(?): Oh, fuck yes. Phos, OOC: I’m gonna bet on Cat because hell yes. Vasir, OOC: What’s the minimum threshold - Phos, OOC, interrupting: 1000 credits. DM: A th - wh - what? [laughter] Beetle, OOC: I’m betting on the dark horse. Vasir, OOC: What does that mean - Beetle, OOC: Tascha - [sees Phos’s bet] Oh, shit!

Vasir, OOC: I guess Vasir will bet 50 credits on Cat. Phos, affronted: 50‽ You gotta commit, Vasir! You gotta commit! Vasir: I am committing. I’m committing 50 credits because that’s all I feel like winning or losing today. DM, quietly: Oh, snap. Vasir: I’m not here to lose all of my money. Beetle: You think I’m actually going to pay the money that I’m betting? Vekar: Beetle, you shouldn’t say that out loud. DM: Beetle’s tipsy, she couldn’t help it.

in discord Vekar: drunk modifier: already honest

Beetle: You’ll have to kill me to get that 100 credits. Beetle, OOC: And Beetle bolts.

DM: So you get back whatever you put in along with an additional 49 credits. Phos, affronted: Forty-nine‽ DM: It’s a small betting pool, Phos, only 343 credits, that’s it! - I can feel your anger from here. Beetle: Oh, delicious, you liking those 49 credits?

Beetle: I put all of my money on you. Cat: Oh, that’s - did you get a lot of money then? Beetle, sounding like she’s dying of laughter: Yeah, I got so much money. Don’t tell Phos or Vasir, but I got way more money than them. Cat: I am not surprised by this.

Vasir, OOC: Oh, shit! Annos is out here with us, he came down to our level! Beetle, chanting: Assman, assman, assman! DM: Are you saying that to him? Or are you just saying it? Beetle, OOC: No, I’m just saying it.

Aster: The only reason we’re here is because Cat wants to catch up with some friends. We’ll be going to other places, don’t worry. Beetle: Cooler places? Aster: Obviously. DM: You’re not even there, but the answer is obviously.

Beetle, OOC: Beetle turns on Tactical Cloak. DM: And does what? Beetle, OOC: She goes over to the group. DM: And just stands there? Beetle, OOC: She waits for an opportunity. Phos, OOC: To get in a punny remark? Beetle, OOC: Yeah. DM, laughing: Okay.

in discord Vasir: annos [upon noticing Beetle]:

Beetle, OOC: Beetle dabs for him. Phos, OOC: Anus dude is just so done with these shenanigans. DM: Yeah.

Isolde: What’s your experience fighting biotics? Phos, OOC: [goes into lengthy detail about how she combats biotics] Isolde: I’ll keep that in mind. Phos, OOC: [more details] Isolde: Good to know.

in discord Vekar: what’s your experience with biotics Vekar: “Yikes” DM:

Vekar: Phos is in for a wild surprise

Beetle, OOC: Can I roll a perception check on Isolde? DM: Sure. What exactly are you looking for? Beetle, OOC: What’s her class? - Other than economic. DM: Um, she is solidly bourgeois.

Annos: How much did you bet on this? Aster: Too much. Honestly, too much. Phos: On which one of us? Aster: That is for me to know and for you to find out potentially. Beetle: Don’t worry, I’ll bet everything I have on you. DM, faintly: You don’t even know how much you have, Beetle. Beetle, OOC: I know.

Vasir: Good job on the arm-wrestling. Guess you get tired eventually. Cat: Yeah. I don’t have a prosthetic arm, unfortunately. Phos, from across the bar: Those are cool! Cat, shouting back at her: I know! I got a leg like that! Phos, from across the bar: My eyes are like that! DM: Are you serious?

Ann: Um... Cat: I’ve been coming here for a long time. I joined the Alliance when I was - eighteen? Bea: We just went to school, though. Vasir: Yeah. [long pause] DM: Good talk, [Vasir’s player]. Good talk. Vasir, OOC: Hey, I’m distracted by drinking and everything. Beetle, OOC: I’m counting my money.

DM: Are you getting another drink, Beetle? Beetle, OOC: Hm... I’m gonna - you know what? We’re leaving this bar eventually for another one, so you know what? I’m gonna sit on that. Let it marinate. DM, very quietly: Goddamn.

Phos, OOC: I hope I get to meet the love of my life, especially since I’ve drawn fanart of her without actually speaking to her. DM: Patience, padawan. Phos, OOC: Ehhhhh. Is it that bad that I want the gay and I want it now? DM: No, it’s very in-character. Phos, OOC: Hm.

DM: Should I play some elevatorstuck into the recording? Beetle, OOC: No. Phos, OOC: Sure.

DM: Annos looks out into the bar, and it’s like - some sort of unspoken signal, like, everyone gets up and leaves at the same time, and you guys follow. Beetle: How often did you rehearse that? Annos: Too many times. Beetle, laughing: Fair enough.

Phos: In a hurry for something? Isolde: Come on, hurry up!

in discord Vasir: isolde is excited for: Vasir: a tea party Vasir: Hidden Depths Beetle: shes excited for hula hooping class

Phos, OOC: Phos fucking charges in. DM: Roll a dex saving throw.

Aster: Everything okay up there? Phos: Jolly - jolly good. I’m fine. Aster: It doesn’t sound fine, but okay.

in discord Vekar: Phos stubbed her eyes

DM: There’s a sign above the door and it says, “Rule Number One.” I’ll write that down so you guys can remember. Beetle: [posts this in discord] DM: God. Dammit. [Beetle’s player].

Isolde: Phos. You sure you’re ready for this? Phos: Isolde... [long pause] Phos: Loserisawhinypissbaby. DM: [laughter]

in discord Beetle: im imagining like those gym tennis courts Beetle: like at the YMCA Vekar: this is why the place is called Vekar: Rule number one

DM: Yeah, sure, the arenas are tennis courts. This is the YMCA. The YMCA fight club. Beetle, OOC: In the background, the YMCA song is playing. DM: Fuck, okay. Someone post it.

Vasir: Are you okay, Vekar? Vekar: No. Phos, OOC: Phos leans over to help him up and says - Phos: Vekar. - Are you READY‽ Vekar, sounding dead: Never, but there’s not much I can do about it now, is there?

in discord Vekar: when the bell rings the song should switch to this Vasir: another good fight song

Vekar: I might be alive, but I’m not living.

Phos: Too afraid to fight so we both have an advantage? Isolde: Yeah, actually. Beetle: Coward! Phos: That’s no fun. Isolde: It gets me money, though. Phos: Yeah, okay, fair. Beetle: That’s fair. I’m betting money on her. Credits on the coward.

DM: Beetle, Vasir, do you two interject somehow, or... Vasir, OOC: Interject how - Beetle: Kill her! Vasir, OOC: I’m just gonna keep watching.

in discord Vekar: please jump in Beetle: beetle put her fucking money on isolde Beetle: u think shes jumping in? Vekar: no but i could try to ask Beetle: you could

Vasir, OOC: See, Vasir has sense about these things and doesn’t trip and fall into arenas, Vekar. Vekar, OOC, sarcastic: Thank you. Vasir, OOC: I love you, but not that much.

Phos, OOC: Can I charge her? DM: You are definitely not close enough for that.

DM: Roll damage, which is 2d8, I believe. - Wait, shit, Charge is a talent. Fuck. Phos, OOC: I have 2d8 times 2 for damage written down on my sheet. DM: ... Why times 2? Phos, OOC: I don’t know. DM: That doesn’t seem right. Get rid of that times 2, it’s just a charge. [a pause] Yeah, I guess we’ll just say it’s - no, oh god, what was the terminology I used for this, it should be 5d4, but... I don’t know, ugh - 2d8, just do 2d8. Phos, OOC, waiting for a bit so the DM can finish muttering to herself: 2d8. Okay. I just gotta keep my notes updated correctly, you know? DM: I just gotta get my shit together, you know? Beetle, OOC: Don’t we all. DM: True.

Beetle: If only you had some grenades! Phos: Shut up, Beetle! Vekar, OOC: I do have some grenades, but I’m dead.

DM: Melee does way too much damage. I’ll need to fix that. - Lateeeeeer. Beetle, OOC: Stabby McWarhammer is the strongest thing in this campaign. DM: I mean, you’re not wrong. Vekar, OOC: Get ‘em, boss.

DM: Okay, yeah. Um, you just - do you pick her up by the neck, is this the - Phos, OOC: No, it’s not the usual. I imagine I’m in front of her, so I just pick her up in a way so she can’t move her arms and stuff. Beetle, OOC: Oof, power move. I love it. Phos: Time to tap out? DM: She just laughs.

in discord Vekar: drunk modifier: Is this how you spell Sgrenth?

Isolde, after she and Phos slapped each other in the face by accident: Wow, uh - guess that took more out of us than we thought, huh? Phos: Yep. I guess we’re both - we were both both a little too eager for that fight. Isolde: I guess so. Beetle, you still want a high-five? Beetle: Hell, yeah.

Beetle, OOC: What’s epicness? 1d20? DM: Yep. It’s okay - Isolde failed utterly.

Phos, OOC: I’m gonna slap Beetle in the face! DM, laughing: Why? Vekar, OOC: Why not? Phos, OOC: Not a chin-slap, like, push my palm into her face, like, pushing her backwards. Beetle, OOC: Um, Beetle’s going to roll to bite your hand.

in discord Vekar: assisted facepalm Vasir: vasir, almost disassociating: what

Aster: Okaaay, let’s just go on upstaaairs, alright? Ann: No no no no! No no, no no! Beetle: You don’t want the people to see us? Afraid to let the people know who we are? Bea: No no! We should let them keep doing this, it’s funny, it’s great, I’m recording this! Aster: I think we should go - upstairs. I’m gonna go - upstairs. Vasir: I’m gonna go upstairs with him, too.

in discord Vasir: WHAT EI S HAPPE NIGn Vasir: TEAM BONDING Vasir: vasir instantly leaves

DM: How does this even work, you’re almost the same height - okay, so, I guess Phos, you hook your arm around Beetle’s neck and drag her down and give her a noogie. And Beetle is fucking screaming her head off, and Aster’s just like - Aster: Nooooope. Nope! DM: And, uh, god. Okay. Uh. And Isolde’s just like - Isolde, sounding like she is ready to never associate with these people again: Alright. I’m gonna go, but have fun. Phos: Wait, Isolde, let’s drink some! Isolde, in the same tone: We’re in the fucking fight club, Phos. There’re drinks - upstairs. Which is where I’m going, and you should come too - Beetle: Oh, fuck, I want drinks. Phos, OOC: I drag Beetle with me by the fucking neck. Beetle, OOC: Beetle’s, like, still, like, head still held, but she’s like, “oh, drinks? Yeah, alright.” DM: The Chens are recording all of this, like, there’s one in front of you, one behind you, they’ve got this on fucking lock. Phos, OOC: it’s a cinematic documentary of the relationship between krogan and salarians. Vasir, OOC: Oh my god. Beetle, OOC: With commentary. Vekar, OOC: Subtitle: how things have improved after the Reaper War. Beetle, OOC: The first part is just Phos pushing her hand agaisnt Beetle’s face and then Beetle just chomps her.

Vasir: That’s the last time I wach you people in a fight club. Vekar: That’s the last time I participate in a fight club.

DM: Oh god, this fucking name, I’m gonna fucking lose it. Beetle, OOC: Titty typhoon. DM: Okay, Aster takes the lead for this one, and you get to this fucking pub - [sounding like she’s about to cry] I can’t - I can’t say this name. Phos, OOC: Come on! Vekar, OOC: Do it! Phos, OOC: Do it! Beetle, OOC: Type it.

in discord DM: pumped pub kicks

DM, on the verge of a meltdown: Fucking hell - I’m gonna die. Beetle, OOC: Pumped pub kicks. [breaks into song] Phos, OOC: I am dying. I am dead. Vasir, OOC: I don’t under - oh. Oh. I see. That’s what [Beetle’s player]’s singing about.

Vasir, OOC: Hey! DM: Did you get more than a 5? Vasir, OOC: I did! Phos, OOC: Beetle didn’t. Beetle, OOC: Beetle doesn’t know hell about shit. Vekar: [rolls a 19] Phos, OOC: Holy shit, Vekar. Carrying for days. Beetle, OOC: For once! For once.

Fausius: Drink responsibly. Vasir: I will. Beetle, yelling across the bar: You think I do anything responsibly? Fausius, yelling across the bar: No, actually.

Beetle: Is fishing legal? Vasir, OOC: Oh, no. Phos, OOC: Not this again. Bartender: There’s nowhere to fish on the Citadel. Vasir, OOC, with more feeling: Oh, no. Beetle: But there’s water, right? Fish live in water. Bartender: Uh, yes. Where - are you going to be fishing in a water glass? What’s your plan? Beetle: There’s like - you know, there’s like that big - pool. What’s the word for it. Bartender: Uh-huh. Beetle: And then there’s fish in it. Bartender: Uh-huh. Beetle: And then you can catch them and eat them like animals. DM, Vasir, Phos, and Vekar: [incredulous laughter] Bartender: Listen. I don’t know where you learned that - where - I don’t know where you’re talking about. There’s nowhere on the Citadel like this. Why are you asking me? Beetle: You’re a bartender. You know things. Bartender: I know drinks. Beetle: Alright. Give me another one. Bartender: Okay. DM: He gives you an Evil Plus.

in discord Vekar: Drunk modifier: "Hewwoo?" DM, Beetle, and Phos: [react with 🔪]

DM: Okay, so - Beetle, OOC: Wait. Beetle goes to give Phos a noogie. DM: Roll - roll for it. Vekar, OOC: This is going to go so well. Phos, OOC: You gotta beat me! [rolls a 1] Shit! Vasir, OOC: I have no idea what’s going on anymore. Phos, OOC: Noogies for days! Beetle, OOC: Revenge.

in discord Vekar: A salarain gave a nuggie to a krogan Vekar: this is a thing that happened Vasir: jahlo actually saved the galaxy Vekar: The world could always use more Beetles Vasir: its a brave new world [Vekar's player]

Rela: Okay, I’m gonna have to cut you off, like - Beetle, no more drinks, okay? Please. Beetle, petulantly: Okaaaay. Rela: No, really, like do I need to watch you for the rest of the night? Do I have to be on Beetle watch? Is this something I need to do? Beetle: Nooooo. DM: Um. Are you lying to her? Beetle, OOC: [laughs] Phos, OOC: I’d take that as a yes. DM: She’s gonna roll a perception check.

Beetle, OOC: Beetle points at whatever Vasir’s drinking and is like - Beetle: What is that? What are you drinking with? Vasir: It’s called a straw, Beetle. Beetle: What the fuck is that. DM, laughing: Throwback, holy shit, that was so long ago. Vasir: Fuck you. Beetle: Don’t bullshit me, Vasir. Vasir: You’re full of bullshit right now, Beetle. Shut up.

DM: Okay, gotta get that waiting music again. What did we agree on again? Vekar, OOC: Elevatorstuck? Beetle, OOC: YMCA. Phos, OOC: [posts this]

DM: You’re in this really shady bar doing all of these - stupid things, and people are watching you.

Beetle, OOC: This bar seems fine. Vekar, OOC: “These are some fine patrons,” Beetle says as she pats a mugger on the back. DM: Okay. Beetle - it’s a bar. You got drinks. You’re fucking drunk, man. You can get more drinks! You’re pretty happy.

DM: Phos, you’re gonna go dancing? Phos, OOC: YEAH. Beetle, OOC: [posts this]

DM: [ . . . ] You dance super well, and you have a moment of thought where you’re lke, “It’s too bad the chief of C-Sec is not here to see this.” Phos, OOC: Yes. Beetle, OOC: The chief of C-Sec isn’t here to see her siren call.

in discord Vasir: phos: super serious discussion abt kilo Vasir: phos: is then like fuck it Vasir: phos: goes to dance

DM: I mean, what do you do when you’re done? Do you just keep dancing - forever? Forever? Phos, OOC: I like, have a few songs. Beetle, OOC: This is Phos’s new home. DM: Do the rest of you guys do anything? Or are you ready to move on? Vekar, OOC: We can move on. Beetle, OOC: We can move on. Beetle got banned from the bar, so.

Phos, OOC: I’m gonna walk over to Tris. DM: Okay. Does anyone come with, or is it just you? [long pause] Vasir and Beetle, OOC: Uhhhh. DM, laughing: I’ll take that as a no. Beetle, OOC: We’re abandoning you, Phos! Weakest link! Phos, OOC: I don’t caaaaaare!

Phos, OOC: And then I go find the rest of the party. DM: Run to catch up. Beetle, OOC: Sorry, we voted you off the island. Vasir and Phos, OOC: [laughter] DM: You’re never coming back. Should I make you roll for it? Do I want to be that kind of person - yeah, I do. Roll - [laughter] roll a knowledge roll, do it.

Vasir, OOC: All alone on the Citadel. Doot, doot. Beetle, OOC: Wait, can Beetle call Phos? DM: Can Phos pick up her omni-tool? Beetle, OOC: I’ll try it. Phos and Vasir, OOC: [laughter] Vekar, OOC: Here we go.

Beetle: Phos. Where the fuck are you? Phos: Where the fuck are you? Beetle: I don’t fucking know, you think I know shit? I don’t. Phos: Gimme your coordinates or some shit. Because I’m gonna go there, and we’re gonna get more drunk. You up for that? Beetle: Oh, fuck yes. Space Google Maps. Let’s do this. Phos: Hell yeah. DM: ... Roll a tech roll?

in discord Vekar: this is what plays at lounge zero

Isolde: Lounge Zero. I’m sure you can find it on your own. Phos: Thanks, Isolde. You’re a lot more helpful than other people I know. Isolde, over Beetle laughing: You’re fuckin’ welcome.

Beetle: Sorry to interrupt your discussion, I’ve got a few drinks in, but - I don’t usually do this. I’ve just come across a lucrative investment opportunity and I’ve been looking for some young, upstanding people to get onto that with me, you know, get on the ground zero, if you will. DM: That’s a terrible joke. As your DM, I’m just telling you right now, that’s a fucking terrible joke. Beetle, OOC: Fuck you, inspiration point. DM: [laughter] No.

Asari: What do you mean? Beetle: I’m interested in opening a business venture. Asari: In what? Phos, OOC: Nooooo. Beetle: It would be, uh, it would be something, uh, [OOC] can I roll to think of something super fancy? DM: If you roll, what does that accomplish? Beetle, OOC: Fuck, yeah. Um. Phos, OOC: You gotta roleplay this. You gotta. Beetle: I’m interested in, um, I am interested in getting only the finest champagne shipped and handled to the upper tiers of our society. My business is currently small but I feel that it could grow expansively. Asari: What is the name of your business? Beetle: Its name is - uh - [breaks into laughter]

in discord Phos: The sweet sip Vekar: and it wont stop coming and it wont stop coming and it wont stop coming and it wont stop coming DM: and it wont stop coming and it wont stop coming and it wont stop coming and it wont stop coming

Beetle: Its name is ‘The Sippy Cup’ - no, I’m fucking with you. Its name is the - Bubbly. You know, ‘cause that’s another name for champagne. DM, quietly and strained: That’s so bad. Oh my god. Beetle: Look, I’m sorry, I - DM: No, I know, I know. You’re on the spot here, it’s okay. - They’re gonna look this up. So like, uh, let me see what they think of this.

Asari: Alright, we’re listening. You want a lucrative business - what exactly are you looking for? Investment? Something else? When would you be moving to the Citadel? I need details. Beetle: Uhhhh. Let me think about this, I’m sorry. Asari: No, please, take your time. [pause] Beetle: I’ve been looking to expand my enterprises, and, you know, and expand past the, uh, planet my company is currently based upon and move our base of operations to, uh, a big booming industry area like the Citadel, which is frequented by many people all the time. I am looking for bright young investors to get in on this and get a good, hearty portion of this. Asari: Investments. Beetle: Get some pie. Asari: Okay. [pause] Look, I’m going to trust you with this. I do expect to see your business reports at some point, and information on your business. Beetle: Of course. Asari: So if I could get your contact information? Beetle, hesitantly: ... Yes. Beetle, OOC, laughing: Beetle gives her her contact information. DM: Do you? Do you actually? Beetle, OOC: Um. Fuck, let me think. - I give her one of my burner numbers. Asari: We’ll be in touch with you shortly. Beetle: Pleasure doing business with you. Asari: And with you.

in discord Vasir: Vasir has a great poker face and a faceplate besides but theyre quietly losing their shit Vekar: im pretty sure we can tell behind the face plate Phos: The faceplate isnt enough Phos: they also gotta poker it through this Vasir: excuse you neither vekar or phos are up in vasir's business to tell

Phos, OOC: Would my zero-G training help with this? DM: You’re not in zero-G. Beetle, OOC: Does my Acrobatics training help? DM: Yeah, fuck, sure, why not. Beetle, OOC: Hell yeah. Phos, OOC: Hell no. Ah fuck! - my dice just went everywhere.

DM: What does your dance look like?

in discord: Vasir: [posts this and this]

Beetle, OOC: We’re doing pair square dancing - oooohohoho. That’s Beetle. Vasir, OOC: Behold, my reaction gif collection. Phos, OOC: The top one is Phos, the bottom one is Beetle.

Beetle: You know what we have to do. We have to kill this pole. Vasir: Let’s not damage their property before we get any drinks out of them, huh, Beetle? Beetle: ... But after. Vasir: Maybe, after.

Beetle: Give me something with a straw. Veron: I can make any drink and put a straw in it. Beetle: Oh, fuck yes. Veron: Do you have any specific in mind? Vasir: You told me you didn’t believe in straws, Beetle. But you just called it a straw. Beetle: I’m compromising my ideals so I can fucking drink my drink and not spill it. Vasir: Mm-hm. Sure. Keep telling yourself that. Beetle: I’ll live with that in the morning. - I’ll have a Mocha Lion. Veron: Good choice. Beetle: That seems nice. Though I prefer the Smooth Lion. Veron: Do you want a paper umbrella in there, too? Beetle, intensely satisfied: Yes.

DM: What time is it over there? Phos, OOC: 4:30 AM. DM: Holy shit. Vasir, OOC: Are you okay, [Phos’s player]? Beetle, OOC: Are you alive? Phos, OOC: Perhaps. It depends on whether I manage to score this fucking turian at the end of the campaign. Vekar, OOC: Are you even real right now, [Phos’s player]? Phos, OOC: Yes, [Vekar’s player]. I’m always real.

Beetle, OOC: Beetle’s like, with her face pressed against the counter, mumbling - Beetle: I heard about pole dancing. Veron: Yeah, yeah, if you dance really well on the pole, you get discounts on the drinks. That’s what we’ve always done, I guess. Or at least for as long as I’ve been here, that’s been the case. Beetle: I can’t promise quality, but it seems fun. Veron: Well, the point is that you have to dance - uh, well, okay.

Beetle, OOC: Beetle walks off towards the poles. DM: The pole is at the entrance. Which you walked into. Beetle, OOC: Oh, I’m gonna destroy this. DM: Roll for it. Beetle, OOC: I would just like to tell you, Beetle’s goal is not only to pole dance, but also to destroy it with her thighs.

chattin’ with the Apricity crew

Cat: You know why I joined the Alliance, Vasir? Vasir: Why did you? Cat: I had to support my sisters through college somehow. I think it was worth it. Phos, OOC: Oh, shit. Vasir: Definitely seems to be the case. Cat: Well, I lost a leg for it, so I hope so. Bea: We could design you a better leg. Ann: We could do it. We’ve drawn blueprints. It would be awesome. Beetle, OOC: We have the technology. Vasir: Would the leg contain the flamethrower or something, knowing you three? Beetle: What about a jetpack leg? DM: Just one jetpack leg? Beetle, OOC: Yes. Vasir, OOC: Vasir just bursts out laughing. Bea: No, because that would be unbalanced. Ann: And not a flamethrower. That would be a fire hazard, among other things, and if it exploded that would be bad. But - Cat: No, I do not need a harpoon in my knee. Ann: It would be so fucking cool. You could jump around and harpoon yourself through the air and swing around, and it would be amazing. Cat: No. Beetle: I’m going to correct that. Don’t you mean ‘grappling hook knee’? Bea: No. Harpoons. Beetle: ... Fair. What would it take for you to get me a harpoon knee? Ann: A missing leg. [long pause] Beetle: I have grenades. Vekar: Beetle, no self-amputations while I’m here. Cat: I don’t recommend grenades. It’s quite painful. Beetle: Oh? Are you a doctor? Cat: ... No, but I’m missing a leg. I think that’s some pretty good experience right there. Got some fieldwork done. Beetle: Okay, okay. I’ll take advice from someone else who’s best qualified to tell me how to remove my leg with a grenade. Cat: You just - you just - okay, you just completely missed my point, that’s fine. That’s fine. Beetle, OOC: Beetle gives her a thumbs-up. DM: Cat holds her hand up for a high-five. Beetle, OOC: Hell yes. I do it. DM: Nice. Roll for epicness. Beetle, OOC: Oh, fuck. Vasir, OOC: Beetle just smacks her in the face. Phos, OOC: I’m not drunk enough for this. Give me a moment.

Phos: Hey, thanks for beating my ass. Next round’s on you. Isolde: Uh, fuck no. Phos: I’m gonna put that on your tab anyway. Isolde: Hey, listen, Phos. If you do that, I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you. Beetle, OOC: [laughter] Phos: You already did, so I have no fear left. Isolde: No, really. I will fucking kill you. [pause] Beetle, OOC: I think she’s gonna fucking kill you. Phos: Okay, look. I - fine. I won’t - I won’t make you pay for it. But you gotta help me with a thing. Isolde: Uh-huh. Phos: There’s somebody I’m looking for, so if you could keep an eye out, I’d appreciate it. Isolde: Why should I do this? Phos: Because it’s somebody I might be interested in wooing, and isn’t that always nice to hear about? Isolde: Listen, Phos? My priority is always money. Is there something in this for me? Phos: Mm. I will give you information on Beetle. Isolde: [snorts] No. Beetle: I’ll kill you. Phos: I’ll give you 500 credits if you find this person. Isolde: Done. Who is it? (Phos, butchering the name: Liti Anovius. DM: Okay, hold on, time out. You do not know her name, Phos, I just wanna point that out. Phos, OOC: Yes, okay, you’re right, sorry.) Phos: It’s - I actually didn’t get her name. It’s - you heard the circumstances of us getting recruited? She was the turian chief that captured us. Isolde: You are trying to woo the chief of Citadel Security. Is that what I’m hearing? Phos: Yes. Isolde: Do you have a death wish? Phos: Well - she’s - Beetle: Maybe? Isolde: I remember from the reports that, uh, you guys are not supposed to be on the Citadel ever again. Like, if you see her, she’s probably going to try to fucking arrest you. Beetle: Hey, I’m exempt from that. I wasn’t here before that mess. Isolde: Okay, fine. I think - I know who you’re talking about. She’s not here, but I can keep an eye out for her if you want - wait. Wait a second. No, wait, actually, I do know where she might be. I’ll see if I can get us to go there next. Phos: Isolde, you’re the best. Even if you’re a greedy money-grubber. I appreciate that. Isolde: Pay up. Phos, OOC: I give her 500 credits. DM: Nice. Take that out of your inventory. Isolde: Pleasure doing business with you. Beetle: Isolde, you stole my power move.

in discord Phos: phos loses money; gains the possibility of getting arrested once again

DM: Isolde looks at your drink, and then at your straw, and then she says - Isolde: Can quarians get drunk? (Phos: YES. Isolde: I didn’t ask - Phos: I’LL MAKE IT HAPPEN. Beetle: Hell yes.) Isolde: I’ve never actually seen Kara or Tris drunk, so like, it’s a legitimate question, I don’t actually know. Beetle: I feel like that’s more about their judgment than - Vasir: Would you all shut the fuck up, please. Beetle: No? Vasir, OOC: And then Vasir turns to Isolde. Vasir: Yes, quarians can get drunk, but we don’t really get hangovers as badly as humans can. Isolde: Cheers to that. Vasir: Indeed. So looks like you had a good fight. Isolde: Yeah, it was easy. - Sorry, Phos. Phos: [sad noises] Vasir: Well, did you have fun at least? Isolde: I mean, yeah, I made bank. I’m good. That’s what I used to do before I was fucking hired for this, like, it’s always good to go back to my roots. Phos: It was fun, but I haven’t done this in a few years. Isolde: Get some better shields next time. Phos: Will do. Vasir: It’s okay, Phos. Isolde: It really isn’t. I fucking murdered you. You gotta fix that. Phos, OOC: She laughs at that, because she respects that Isolde is a lot stronger than her at the moment. (Beetle, OOC: Don’t worry, we’ll level up soon. Vekar, OOC: Will we? DM: Not after this operation, that’s for sure.) Phos: Yeah, well, that’s just how it is. It was fun though. Isolde: I’m glad you had fun getting your ass kicked. I guess. Phos: It’s not always about the profit gain, but more about what you can expect the next time you face them. Isolde: Hm. I disagree. Phos: Well, that’s me and that’s you and we each have our own deals to take care of. Isolde: Yeah, and I’m so much richer than you. Phos: How old are you anyway? Isolde: ... Why do you want to know? Phos: Curious. Isolde: Yeah, I’m, uh, not gonna tell you that. Sorry. Phos: That’s boring. Didn’t know you were such a mood-killer, Isolde. Isolde: How - what mood am I killing? Are you hitting on me? Vasir, OOC: Oh my god. No, no - Beetle, OOC: Beetle just starts laughing. Vasir, OOC: Vasir starts laughing too, honestly. Beetle, OOC: Standing on the sidelines, laughing. Phos: No, I’m more interested in a certain tall turian. No thanks. Isolde: Then why are you asking my age? What relevance is that? Phos: I thought about your experience and you seem to have generally - like, even though you asked beforehand, you seem to have a decent sense of how I would move afterwards. Isolde: Fight club. Mercenary. Commando unit. I’ve seen a lot. Phos: Yeah. I guess. It just puts into perspective how - since we’re two of the usually longest-lasting races, it put intso perspective how much we’ve gained. Isolde: That’s fair. I’m eighty-four. Phos: Oh, you’re younger than me. Isolde: Yes. Phos: That’s - that’s pretty neat. (Beetle: You’re a fuckin’ baby.) Phos: I respect that. Isolde: Yep! Is that all? Phos: Yeah - uh - I - yeah, that’s - it wasn’t like an interrogation, I was only curious. That’s pretty hardcore, Isolde. Isolde: Thanks. Phos: Thanks for the fight today. Isolde: You’re welcome.

Beetle: Do you think Kilo’s gonna kick all of our asses when they grow up? Isolde: Absolutely. Beetle, OOC: Oh, fuck yes. Isolde: If any of us have anything to say about it, then yeah, definitely. Vasir: Maybe they’ll actually want to learn hacking, unlike some asari sitting next to me. Isolde, laughing: Shut up. Phos: Wait - so - are you guys - I need to know this, actually, because I’ve been takin care of the kid for almost a full year or two at this point - do you guys have plans for the future, otherwise I would like you guys to think of it, at least. Isolde: Plans for the future. Like what, not dying? What do you want? Vasir: I know, right? Phos: More like do you have any ideas what there - how they’ll grow up to be, because you guys are all mercenaries, mix and match, all that. Do you want to drag them into that again? Beetle: Oh, I have an idea. I have Fischer Price grenades. Vasir, exasperated: Beetle. Phos, serious: No. Beetle? You’re gonna be keeping those grenades away from them. [long pause] Beetle, OOC: Beetle turns on her Tactical Cloak. DM: [startled laughter] Isolde: Look, you should talk to Tris about this. Phos: Yeah, but it’s also the rest of the crew that’s involved in this because they’ll be around you guys. Isolde: Sure, but - you should talk to Tris. Phos: Hm. Isolde: Look, I don’t know, okay, I live by the paycheck. Like, if someone pays me more, fuck, I’ll even kill you guys. I don’t care. Just - why are you asking me this? Phos: I was just thinking about if any of you - if everybody else would be getting involved in how they would be raised. Isolde: Fuck if I know. Well, hopefully. Phos: I hope so too, Isolde. I really hope so. Isolde: You could just take them. I mean, since you’ve been taking care of them for so long, you might as well, if it really comes down to it. Phos: I couldn’t take care of them personally, considering all the bounties on my head. Isolde: Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Phos: Yeah, that’s a thing.

Phos: Annos? Even though it’s Tris who made the decision, I’m gonna need your word that Kilo is going to grow up with some kind of skill that will let them survive this hell that we’re going through. DM: He kind of looks at you for a bit. Annos: As much as I would like to be able to do that, I can’t promise anything. You know who we work for. This is Tris’s independent decision. Phos: I know that. Annos: You need to talk to her. Phos: But are you gonna be involved in this? Or are you gonna stay out of it? Annos: I’ll keep them safe. That’s the best I can do. Phos: I guess I’ll take that. It’s - it’s just a bit of a mess. I didn’t really expect that Tris would be so interested in Kilo. Annos: Really. Phos: Yeah. Annos: You don’t know her very well, I suppose. Phos: I don’t know Tris very well. I know Kilo, but Kilo’s only two years old. This is - I know salarians grow up quickly, but you gotta - I could barely figure out how to kill, like, attack or defend myself when I was two years old, and we’re dragging Kilo into this? If anything happens to Kilo, I’m out of this, I’m just gonna warn you. Kilo is one of the few things who’s really, like, important to me. If anything happens to them, the whole deal’s off. Annos: [amused sound] Implying there was a deal in the first place - listen. I can’t promise you anything. I can give you my word that I will try to keep them safe, but I can’t - I can’t promise you anything. We’ll do our best, but at the end of the day, you know who we work for. Phos: I know. Annos: And that’s it. Phos: I know. It also limits things. But I just need to warn you, just in case. You’ve earned my respect, Annos, you’ve kept this weird group of people from not killing each other, but we’re still here. And you’ve saved us several times by sending people in at the right time. I appreciate that. Annos: Sure. What’s your point? Phos: I trust your leading capacities, but you just gotta know that Kilo is first priority, so if it’s mid-mission or anything like that, and I hear anything about them, I’m not gonna hurt any members of the ship, but if they are responsible for anything happening to Kilo, I’m not going to be afraid of retaliating that damage. Annos: Tris will die before she lets anything happen to them. Phos: I don’t know Tris very well, so I can’t say I trust that. Annos: Believe me. Phos: I wish I could. I really wish I could. DM: He kind of tilts his head at that, like, okay, fair. Annos: Anything else you need to talk about? Phos: Nope, that was pretty much it.

Annos: How drunk are you - no, better question, how many drinks have you had? Beetle, OOC: Beetle counts on her fingers, and she says - Beetle: Fuck, I only have six fingers. Aster: Here, use mine. DM: And he, like, holds out his hands to you. Beetle: Uhh - uhh - I think - I think - I think I had - five? Aster: You didn’t even need my hand, then, what - Beetle: No, I just got confused, I had three on one hand, and then I was like, ‘oh, fuck, I have three fingers,’ and I got scared, I’m not gonna lie. Annos: Uh - maybe drink some water for a bit, okay? Beetle: I’d rather die. Annos: I know you would, but please. Personal favor. Beetle: Can I get another favor? Annos: Yeah, sure. Beetle: Okay, sweet. I’ll get some water.

DM: Tris just kind of nods at you, and Elaye also just kind of nods at you. Kilo: Hi, Phos! How are you doing? We got all this neat stuff and there were a lot of big stores. I’ve never seen that many. How do that many people live in one place? It’s weird. Tris, to Kilo: The Citadel is very large. [to Phos] Hi, Phos. Phos: Hi, Tris, uh. Are you guys planning on joining any of us? Tris: I’m not taking a kid to a bar. Please. Phos: Yeah, that’s fair. But I was just gonna check up. Phos, OOC: Phos pats Kilo on the head and smiles. Phos: Tris, I’m gonna have to just - it’s nothing, it’s - it’s kind of important for Kilo’s future, so I’m gonna have to talk to you when we get to the Apricity. Are you up for that? Tris: Yeah, whatever. Phos: Sure. Phos, OOC: Phos kneels down to Kilo’s height and says - Phos: I’m - I’ll see you back on the Apricity. I’m sorry, I’m gonna have to be around with my friends. You be nice to Tris and Elaye, okay? Kilo, OOC: Kilo, like, jumps to try and give her a hug.

in discord Beetle: kilo give her a noogie

Party: [startled laughter]

DM: ruin the moment DM: :ok_hand:

Kilo: Yeah, I’ll be good, Phos, I always - I always do my best to be. Phos: Yeah, I know you do. (Phos, OOC: Kilo will not give Phos a noogie. Kilo will not because Kilo is a nice child - Vasir, OOC: Until Beetle teaches them how to do it. Phos, OOC: - and they have yet to interact with Beetle and thus has yet to be corrupted. Beetle, OOC: Beetle is going to teach Kilo how to give noogies.) DM: Before you get up, Tris reaches out her hand to stop you before you actually move off. Tris: They’ll be fine, okay? I’m not gonna let anything happen to them. Phos: I know. It’s just - a year of taking care of them is hard to shake off, you know. Tris: I understand.

Isolde, after Phos fucked up with Leti: Told you. DM: And then she just goes to the bar. Phos, OOC: Can I, like, roll to whack her on the back of the head? Like, ‘don’t get cocky.’ DM: I mean, yeah, roll for it. She’ll try and dodge.

Kara: Do you guys like bets? Vasir, very quietly: Oh no. Phos: Yeeeeeeaaaah. Beetle: Yes. Vekar: This is going to end well. Kara: How about a dance off, then? Phos: Hell yeah. Vasir, OOC: You just hear Vasir mutter, ‘Keelah,’ in the background. Kara: Whoever loses buys drinks for everybody. Beetle: Alright. I’m in. Phos: Hell yeah. Beetle: Let’s go. Vasir: [sighs]

Kara: The rest of the crew will be judging. Vasir, Vekar, if you want to judge as well, you’re certainly welcome too. Vekar: Spirits. Phos, OOC: Are we still in the fancy bar? DM: Yes, you are. Phos, OOC: So Leti is still there. DM: Yes, she is. Beetle: I do have to keep up my image. Vekar: So does that mean you’re going to Tactical Cloak out of this? Beetle, OOC: Are the three investors Beetle convinced still around? DM: Yeah, they’re still there. Beetle: Can we take this party out of sight of my marks? Kara: I suppose we could. Phos: Nooooo. Beetle: I’d rather do this in the street than lose my money. Kara: I respect that. I really do. Beetle: Thank you. I respect you. Phos: But I want to show the turian what she’s missing. DM, laughing: How about you both roll persuasion checks? Vasir, OOC: [sighs] DM: I’m sorry, [Vasir’s player]. Vasir, OOC: Oh my god.

Kara: Well, I suppose someone could distract them. Get them to leave. Beetle: Who wants to volunteer to do that? DM: Absolutely no one answers that. Beetle, OOC: [laughs] Beetle: Vasir? Vasir: No. I already let you get Stabby onboard, I’m not part of this. Beetle: Those are two completely unrelated events. I’ll give you some of the money I got. Vasir: Yeah. Why do I absolutely not believe that at all? Beetle: Because I’m a trustworthy person and you’re naturally suspicious? Vasir: Uh-huh.

in discord Vasir: this is vasir right now Vasir: [posts this]

DM: [whispers] annos owes you favors

Beetle: ... And also Annos owes me so you may cash. Vasir: So why not just ask Annos? I’m not helping you, Beetle. Beetle: Yeah. Vasir: Besides, I’m a quarian. This is the Citadel. I’m not going to have as much luck as you did. Beetle: You know what? That’s true. That’s fair. Annos. Annos, warily: What. Beetle: Assman. Annos, immediately: No. Beetle; Favor. I drank the water. Annos: Okay. I saw you drink the water, but then you shotgunned another drink, but fine. Beetle: Yes! Annos: What. Is it. Beetle: Could you possibly get those three young asari over there to leave before I enter this dance-off? Annos: ... That’s your favor? Beetle, laughing: Yes. Assman, look, look, look, it’s a long story, and I’m going to explain it to you when I’m sober, but right now. Annos: Alright. Alright. Okay.

DM: And the asari get up and leave, after about a minute. Annos looks back at you and he looks so fucking done. Beetle, OOC: [laughter]

Kara: Okay, the song is ending. Can we - Beetle: Yes. Dance is in my heart.

DM: The Chens don’t really care whether they win or not. Beetle: I’m here to win or die.

Kara: Um... so - Advika: Yep. Yep! I only did this because Fawkes said he’d give me 500 credits if I did. But now I have to use it to buy everyone drinks, so I kind of regret this decision.

DM: Yeah, [Beetle is] dead drunk, and you see Annos put his head in his hands. Annos: Do we really have to go to this last bar. Rela: Yes, we have to go to this last bar. Let’s go! Annos: This is the worst. This is the worst!

Veron: Yeah, I’ll give you free drinks for that, that was really good. Beetle: Oh, yes, I’m gonna die. Annos: No, please don’t, she’s gonna die. Rela: Yeah, maybe don’t do that, sib. Veron: Okay, yeah, let’s not do that. Maybe for the rest of your people then. Beetle: Yeah, free drinks for, uh, Isolde. Isolde: Cheers. DM: Just her? Beetle, OOC: This is payback for the 500 credits I got from betting on her. DM: Amazing. Beetle, OOC: Pay it forward.

Leti Avonius

Annos, agitated: Isolde, why did you bring us here? Isolde: Phos paid me to. Phos: Annos? - I’ve got this. Annos: I don’t believe you, but by all means.

DM: What do you do? [long pause] Phos, OOC: This is, uh... Hahaha, uh, I didn’t actually expect her to be here. DM, with solemn, ominous promise: I always deliver. Phos: Can you play Beetle’s bit first so I can think of something, like, not kicking myself in the ass, like - DM: Okay. Alright, we’ll go with Beetle first. Beetle, what are you up to?

DM: Phos, you’re up. What do you do?

in discord Vasir: phos has to deal with THREE TURIANS Vasir: ARMED Vasir: CSEC... Phos: SHUSH Phos: I GOT THIS Vasir: DO YOU? Phos: SHADDAP, I GOT THIS Phos: Me, inside: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Vekar: Phos, what do you look for in life Vekar: Phos: "Dabooty" Vekar: "Hot"

Phos, OOC: She’s a little bit nervous because she didn’t expect Isolde to follow through on her promise so quickly. But this is kind of one of the few things she’s been looking forward to these few months since shit’s been going down, to find this turian she like kinda crushed hard on.

Leti: I have to arrest you, you know. I mean, you know that, right? Phos: Yeah. I - would say I would accept that, but sadly, I can’t. Leti: I figured. Phos: Even though it would be nice to spend some time, even if it’s in prison, together, it’s - (Beetle, laughing and OOC: You’re so thirsty you’d get yourself arrested by her. DM: [laughter] Beetle, OOC: “Yes, officer, lock me up!” DM: Kinky. Phos, OOC: No! Beetle, please.) Leti: I have to arrest for escaping custody, as well as - you were going to be released in the morning. You’re not supposed to come back here. Phos: Yeah. We weren’t really given a choice. We got involved with some deep shit after that, and we’er still not out of it. Leti: You think that means anything? Phos: No. Not in the eyes of an officer, I guess not. I can’t go. I’m sorry. Leti: So you’re resisting arrest. Phos: Is it resisting arrest if you never saw me here? DM: She kind of looks at you, like, ‘You better have something to follow that up with.’ Phos: Okay, look. All that shit back there? It was a lot of back luck. We’re not responsible for the elcor dying and we weren’t really that responsible for, well, escaping arrest. I know - it - we were blackmailed out of that prison. It’s weird to say that, but it’s really really weird to say you were blackmailed out of jail, but that’s basically what happened, and if you’re willing, I can give you my contact info and we can just see if something can be sorted out instead. Would you be willing to do that? DM: Roll persuasion.

DM: Leti looks at you for a bit, and she looks, um, a little sad. A little sad. And then she just shakes her head. Phos, OOC: Uh - DM: And then it’s like, ‘oh, shit! Oh, shit, this is bad.’ Phos: I also can’t get out of - I can’t go with you right now. First of all, your three people - and I know you’re armed, and you’re not totally up to the same standard as you were when I first met you, and there are a lot of people here with me. They wno’t let me go. DM: She looks around because she had seen the group you’d come in with. Leti: Look, I’m C-Sec. We have - we could call for backup, you’re not proving anything. DM: But as she says this, you actually see Annos come up beside you. He’s typing at his omni-tool. And as he comes close and stops next you, the turian looks at him, and she’s like - Leti: This does not involve you. Annos: No, it actually does. If you would check your records, you’ll see that these people are not, in fact, to be arrested. There are no charges against them. Leti: That is some bullshit. (Beetle, OOC: I never had any.) DM: But, you know, she looks back to the people behind her and nods, and one of them pulls up their omni-tool going to check something. Annos: No, no, I assure you. These are not the people you’re looking for. (Vasir, OOC: Oh my god. Vekar, OOC: Of course.) Leti: We’ll see about that. DM: And after some time, the other turian puts the omni-tool down and they kind of like look at the first turian, the chief. Turian: No, he’s right. There’s no record of these people anywhere. They’re just not there. Leti: That cannot be right. Turian: I know, I know! It can’t be right, but ther’s nothing there. We can’t arrest them. There’s nothing they can be arrested for. DM: And, um, yeah. She looks to you, to Annos, to the turian again, and wordlessly she gives you a nod. Phos: This is - how deep I’m stuck at the moment. I’m sorry. Leti: I don’t know why you’re apologizing for not being arrested, and frankly I don’t care. Phos: Because you were willing to try and give us a chance when the others were trying to blame us for their faults. I’m happy you - I kind of wish we’d had another chance to talk. (Beetle, OOC: To bang.) Leti, coldly: You’re free to go.

in discord Vekar: and she loooooooooooks at you Vekar: "You can go" Vekar hollers Vasir: i cant fucking believe annos is ob-wan-kenobing leti Phos: Annos: The ultimate wingman Vekar: the shadow broker mind trick Vekar: a chance to bang Vekar: TO BANG DM: TO BANG!!! Vekar: hey ask her name at least before you go

DM, laughing: I’m sorry, it’s just - it’s just funny because the only reason she gave you a chance is because you fucking seduced her. Phos, OOC, affronted: Yeah, but that’s still giving us a chance!

Beetle, OOC: Phos’s just like on the satelite. The dance satellite on the floor trying to get to her. Phos, OOC: We’re doing like a pair dance, so I guess she’s watching the both of us? DM: She’s definitely just watching you. Phos, OOC: Oh, nice. She’s checking out my ass. And my little cute tail! Vasir, OOC: [groans]

Phos, OOC: Before we go, I, like, I drag Beetle over with me to pass by Leti’s table, and as I’m wasted off my ass at this point, so I just ask - Phos: Can I at least get your name? Beetle: She wants to know your name! DM: She looks at you because you’re drunk, and Beetle’s also drunk, and you’re both just hanging off of each other, and she’s just like - Leti, enunciating every syllable as if Phos is a child: You didn’t look it up on the extranet? Beetle: You think she can use the extranet? Phos: I’m not very good with omni-tool. Leti: Okay. Turian: Leti, seriously? Leti: No, it’s fine. Leti Avonius. Phos: Leti Avonius. Beetle: Can she find your number on the extranet? Phos: I LOVE IT. Phos, OOC: And she drags Beetle off. DM: Beetle’s trying to be your wingwoman and you just leave? Beetle: Why are you trying to kneecap yourself? Phos: Because I’m fucking bad at this, Beetle, I’ve never tried it before! DM: You guys are just yelling this as you drag yourselves out, and Leti’s like, ‘What the fuck?’ Beetle, laughing: Yeah. Phos: I think I just took myself from a beginner’s flirt to a ‘kill yourself, this is never going to happen’ flirt. I am about to die. Do you follow me? Beetle: Okay. Phos: She is hot. But also Beetle? Beetle, I also just realized: she is so out of my league. It’s amazing. Beetle: She is pretty, uhh, up there.

in discord DM: beetle: it's probably a bad idea to date her but ya! she's pretty high up and pretty attractive DM: phos: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Phos: I - I got her name. beetle: She’s got that, you know, sexy authority figure thing going. Phos: I know. Beetle, that’s kind of what set it off in the first place, please. Beetle: [laughing] I’m sorry, I’m trying to roll with this.

Rela: This is my sibling, Veron. Veron: Hi. Rela: I always insist we come here so I can talk to them. But I don’t think we’ll be staying here long. The drinks are the best, though.

Vasir: How long have you been working here, Veron? How long has this bar been here? I guess I’m curious. Veron: I don’t know how long this bar has been here. I’ve been working here for three years now? DM: And they kind of look at Rela, and Rela nods, like, yeah, three years. Vasir: Long time for bartending. Veron: It’s not like I had much else to do. It pays the bills. Vasir: That’s good. [pause] DM: ... This is super awkward - Vasir, OOC: I’m sorry, I’m just super out of it - DM: No, I’m also just like, “how can i make this conversation go?” And I’m just - not very well. I’m looking at my notes, I got nothing else, because I didn’t get this far.

drinks (generated from here)

Caramel Killer Avocado Drop Apricot Puff Electric Stardust Oblivious Blood Nimble Tea Sticky Fluff Ancient Riddle Banana Vodka Lemon Blitz Southern Burst Paranoid Tonic Mild Enigma Nutmeg Light Beer Crimson Fluffy Rushed Kisses Glowing Mocha Cappuchino Paradise Tea Bliss Forest Shadow Angel Temper Avocado Freedom Flower Freedom Milk Minor Savage Dark Beer Cherry Blossom Shrub Lemonade Bomb Pear Pearl Oblivious Paradise Flower Mud Southern Burst Paranoid Tonic Mild Enigma Nutmeg Light Beer Crimson Fluffy Rushed Kisses Glowing Mocha Cappuchino Paradise Tea Bliss Forest Shadow Smooth Hopper Vibrant Dutchess Arctic Snake Sanguine Slingshot Mad Pop Fresh Pearl Flower Lager Crazy Kisses Fancy Joy Rose Petal Six Evil Plus Thyme Barrage Burning Sip Mint Crash Western Java Beetroot Stardust Peppermint Wave Noble Zombie Extreme Delight Gentle Blaze Oak Rumble Sugary Joke Infinite Gloom Oregano Crusher Unlucky Wink Ancient Sling Catnip Lager Rainbow Coffee Coconut Blaze Peacan Giant Paranoid Velvet Sake Puff Lavender Whisper Smooth Lion Mountain Sling Burning Brandy Stale Pearl Mild Rage Mild Slap Incredible Double Obvious Paralyzer Stale Breeze Apricot Four Lucky Petal Demonic Bomb Lemony Sizzle Mocha Lion Gingerroot Bruiser Fancy Touch Jasmine Wink

Drunkenness

Roll 1d8 for every drink ordered, adding each value together. If the player reaches 40, the player blacks out.

Surf’s Club

Beetle Flower Mud. 1d8 → 4 Apricot Puff. 1d8 → 6 total: 10

Phos Savage Dark Beer. 1d8 → 3 total: 3

Vekar Mild Enigma. 1d8 → 5 total: 5

Pumped Pub Kicks

Beetle Bay Leaf Blaze → 5 Evil Plus → 3 total: 18

Phos Sanguine Slingshot → 7 Rushed Starlight → 1 total: 11

Vasir Noble Zombie → 3 total: 3

Lounge Zero

Phos Incredible Double → 5 Ryncol → 7 Abyss → 7 total: 30

Beetle Paranoid Velvet → 5 Sheltered Cove → 8 total: 31

“Beetle just dies right there.”

Vasir Gravity Wave → 2 total: 5

Vekar Sinkhole → 1 total: 6

Walked Into

Beetle Mocha Lion → 3 total: 34

Phos Obvious Paralyzer → 5 total: 36

Vasir Lucky Petal → 2 total: 7

technical notes

The party checks to see who isn’t coming along with them. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Vekar → 16 - 4 → 12 Phos → 5 + 1 → 6 Vasir → 5 + 0 → 5 Beetle → 3 + 1 → 4

The fact that neither Telissa nor Irène are with them escapes the party entirely.

Phos checks to see if Leti Avonius is in Surf’s Club. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier → 16 + 2 → 18 Phos looks around; Leti is not here.

The party bets on the arm-wrestling contest. 50 credits minimum.

Beetle → 100 on Tascha Phos → 1000 on Cat Vasir → 50 on Cat Vekar → abstains

Cat and Tascha arm-wrestle. Strength contest. 1d20 + strength modifier.

Cat → 13 + 2 → 15 Tascha → 6 + 4 → 10

Cat wins the contest. Phos and Vasir receive the credits they put in along with an additional 49 credits.

Cat notices that Beetle didn’t bet on her. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier → 8 + 1 → 9 Cat doesn’t notice Beetle didn’t bet on her and thanks Beetle for the support.

Annos, Aster, and Isolde notice Beetle standing with them with her tactical cloak. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Annos → 18 + 4 → 22 Aster → 8 + 2 → 10 Isolde → 2 + 2 → 4

Annos notices Beetle, but keeps quiet about it.

Beetle identifies Isolde’s combat class. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → 16 + 1 → 17 Beetle identifies Isolde as an adept.

Beetle and Cat high-five. Epicness roll. 1d20.

Beetle → 11 Cat → 3

“Like ships passing in the night,” Beetle says as Cat hits her shoulder and Beetle hits empty air.

“Wow, that was terrible,” Cat says. “I think I need another drink.”

“Oh, fuck yes.”

The party checks out Bar Cry. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Phos → 18 + 1 → 19 Vekar → 13 - 4 → 9 Vasir → 5 + 0 → 5 Beetle → 4 + 1 → 5

“My perception checks are good because I’m looking out for my bae!” Phos’s player tells me, triumphant.

“Yeah, okay,” I say. “She’s not here.”

Phos doesn’t eat shit as she charges down the stairs. Dexterity saving through. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 2 + 2 → 4 “Oh, dear, that’s not good,” Phos’s player says.

“Ugh, the property damage,” Vekar’s player says without missing a beat.

“What the fuck’s my dex mod?” Phos’s player asks.

Damage. 1d4 → 4 Phos eats shit and takes 4 points of damage to her health.

The party investigates Rule Number One. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier. “I’m gonna roll a 5 again,” Vasir’s player says as she rolls, and then she groans and yells, “I’m cursed! I’m cursed.”

“You think you’re cursed? Check this out,” Vekar’s player says.

Beetle → 18 + 1 → 19 Phos → 17 + 1 → 18 Vasir → 2 + 0 → 2 Vekar → 1 - 4 → -3

Vekar falls into the arena with Phos and Isolde. Phos and Beetle notice that most people are betting on Isolde.

Isolde, Phos, and Vekar roll initiative. 1d20.

Isolde → 11 Phos → 6 Vekar → 4

Isolde throws a Singularity in Phos and Vekar’s direction. Attack talent roll. 1d10 → 9

Phos and Vekar contest. Dexterity saving throw.

Vekar → 19 + 2 → 21 Phos → 18 + 2 → 20

Both successfully contest.

Phos and Vekar dodge the Singularity’s pull.

ADDITIONAL ACTION: Isolde shoots at Vekar. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 11 + 5 → 16 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 5d4 → 1 + 4 + 4 + 1 + 3 → 13 Vekar takes 13 points of damage. His shields blow out.

Movement. Isolde moves out of range of Phos’s shotgun.

Phos shoots at Isolde with her assault rifle. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 15 + 2 → 17 This is not sufficient to hit. Isolde rolls out of the way.

(“This is what you get for trying to fight a cool NPC,” Beetle’s player says.)

Vekar uses Tech Armor. 1d20 → 14 Vekar activates his tech armor, granting him an additional 14 points of health. The armor will explode upon depletion, causing damage in a small radius around him.

Movement. Vekar expends all 10m of his movement to get closer to Isolde.

Isolde throws a Warp at Vekar. Attack talent roll. 1d10 → 9

Vekar contests. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 15 + 2 → 17 Vekar successfully contests.

Vekar dodges.

ADDITIONAL ACTION: Isolde throws a Warp at Vekar, again. Attack talent roll. 1d10 → 9

Vekar contests. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 18 + 2 → 20 Vekar successfully contests.

Vekar dodges.

Phos shoots Isolde with her shotgun. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 20 + 2 → 22 Crit.

Damage roll. 3d8 x 2 → (8 + 8 + 3) x 2 → 19 x 2 → 38 Isolde’s barrier takes 38 points of damage. It holds.

dm note: phos actually used up all of her movement here - and therefore her action - at this point, so she shouldn’t have been allowed to take the shot fucking hell @ me

Vekar uses Cryo Blast on Isolde. Attack talent roll. 1d10 → 7.

Isolde contests. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 19 + 5 → 24 Isolde successfully contests.

Isolde dodges easily.

Isolde shoots Vekar with her assault rifle. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 12 + 5 → 17 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 5d6 → (6 + 2 + 4 + 6 + 4) → 22 Vekar takes 22 points of damage.

Vekar’s tech armor explodes. Isolde’s barrier takes 14 points of damage. It holds.

Isolde shoots Vekar with her assault rifle, again. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 18 + 5 → 23 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 5d6 → (5 + 6 + 1 + 3 + 2) → 17 "I’m dead,” Vekar’s player says.

“One down, one to go,” Beetle says.

Phos charges Isolde. Attack talent roll. 1d10 → 8

Isolde contests. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 4 + 5 → 9 Isolde fails to contest.

Damage roll. 2d8 → 7 + 3 → 10 + 5 Isolde’s barrier takes 10 points of damage, plus another 5 damage from hitting the wall. It holds.

Isolde melees Phos. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 20 + 5 → 25 Crit.

Damage roll. (2d8) x 2 + 10 → (5 + 3) x 2 + 10 → 8 x 2 + 10 → 16 + 10 → 16 "I’m - pretty hurt. I have 2 HP remaining,” Phos’s player says, and then adds, “I’m fine.”

“Isolde sends a gentle breeze at Phos and Phos dies immediately,” Beetle’s player says.

ADDITIONAL ACTION: Isolde escapes Phos’s grip. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 10 + 5 → 15

Phos contests. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 10 + 4 → 14 Phos fails to contest.

Isolde shoves Phos off of her and pulls out her pistol. “Had enough?” she asks, grinning.

Phos melees Isolde. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 16 + 2 → 18 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 2d8 + 3 → (8 + 8 + 3) → 19 Isolde’s barrier takes 19 points of damage. It holds.

Phos picks Isolde up. Strength check. 1d20 + strength modifier → 15 + 4 → 19

Isolde contests. Strength saving throw. 1d20 + strength modifier → 7 + 5 → 12 Isolde fails to contest.

Phos picks Isolde up, looping her arms under Isolde’s shoulders.

Isolde escapes Phos’s grip. Strength check. 1d20 + strength modifier → 5 + 5 → 10

Phos contests. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 16 + 4 → 20 Phos successfully contests.

"Oh, nice, more power hugging,” Beetle’s player says. “I love it.”

Isolde kicks Phos. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 14 + 5 → 19 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 1d8 → 6 Phos takes 6 points of damage and is unconscious.

Phos and Isolde high-five. Epicness roll. 1d20.

Phos → 2 Isolde → 1

"You just slap each other in the face. Take 1d4 damage,” I say.

Beetle and Isolde high-five. Epicness roll. 1d20.

Beetle → 18 Isolde → 1

“Oh, goddess, I am so sorry, holy shit,” Isolde says after she slaps Beetle’s face and causes her to take 1d4 → 4 damage.

Phos shoves her hand against Beetle's cheek in a weird pseudo-slap. 1d20 → 18 Phos does this.

Beetle bites Phos’s hand. 1d20 → 20 Beetle bites Phos’s hand hard enough to do 1d8 → 2 damage.

Phos gives Beetle a noogie. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 15 + 2 → 17 “Beetle just starts screaming,” Beetle’s player says.

Vekar dodges Phos’s good-natured pity pat. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 13 + 2 → 15 Vekar sidesteps the slap easily.

The party checks out Pumped Pub Kicks, and Phos looks for Leti Avonius. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier - drunkenness modifier.

Vekar → 19 - 4 - 0 → 15 Phos → 14 + 1 - 1 → 14 Vasir → 12 + 0 - 0 → 12 Beetle → 3 + 1 - 1 → 3

Vekar and Phos note how shady the establishment is; Phos notices that Leti Avonius is not here.

Beetle gives Phos a noogie. Attack roll. 1d20 - drunkenness modifier → 16 - 2 → 14

Phos contests. Attack roll. 1d20 - drunkenness modifier → 1 Crit fail.

Beetle gives Phos a noogie easily despite - or perhaps because of - being trashed.

Beetle lies to Rela. Deception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier - drunkenness modifier → 16 - 1 → 15

Rela contests. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier → 11 + 2 → 13

“Okay,” Rela says. “I’m going to trust you, alright? Just - know your limits. I don’t want to have to carry you out of here.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Beetle says, entirely unconvincingly.

Phos persuades Isolde to tell the party how old she is. Persuasion roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier - drunkenness modifier → 18 - 1 → 17

Isolde contests. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → 10 + 4 → 14 Isolde fails to contest.

Isolde reveals her age.

The party figures out why the Pumped Pub Kicks is so shady. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier - drunkenness modifier.

Vasir → 15 + 0 - 0 → 15 Vekar → 18 - 4 - 0 → 14 Phos → 10 + 1 - 2 → 9 Beetle → 2 + 1 - 2 → 1

Phos and Vekar know the bar is shady as fuck, but they’re not really sure why. Vasir recognizes it as a place where they might meet a contact, drop off a package, and has in fact used places like this before in their career.

Phos dances. Dexterity modifier. 1d20 + dexterity modifier - drunkenness modifier → 18 + 2 - 1 → 19 “How do krogan even dance?”

“They do the worm,” Beetle’s player says. “The thresher maw.”

The party spots Tris, Elaye, and Kilo. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier - drunkenness modifier. “What is this world we live in where Vekar gets the highest perception rolls?” Vasir’s player asks, laughing.

“Can we just not look at anything ever again?” Beetle’s player says.

Phos → 14 + 1 - 1 → 14 Vekar → 17 - 4 → 13 Vasir → 10 + 0 - 0 → 10 Beetle → 9 + 1 - 2 → 8

Phos spots Tris, Elaye and Kilo. It appears the three have been shopping.

Phos catches up with the party. Knowledge roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier - drunkenness modifier → 4 + 0 - 1 → 3 Phos completely loses track of the party and crew.

Beetle calls Phos to give her directions. The player absolutely did not have to roll for this. 1d20 + technical modifier - drunkenness modifier → 13 + 2 - 2 → 13

Phos contests (???) Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier - drunkenness modifier → 11 - 2 - 1 → 8 Phos manages to pick up the call.

“We’re going to Lounge Zero,” Isolde shouts, grabbing onto Beetle’s arm. “I’m sure you’ll be able to find it.”

“Thanks, Isolde,” Phos says. “You’re a lot more helpful than some people I know.”

“You’re fuckin’ welcome.”

The party checks out Lounge Zero. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier - drunkenness modifier. “I hurt on the inside,” Beetle’s player says.

Vasir → 18 + 0 - 0 → 18 Phos → 13 + 1 - 1 → 13 Vekar → 16 - 4 → 12 Beetle → 6 + 1 - 2 → 5

“This is a place you wouldn’t be caught dead in, Vasir. You’re intensely uncomfortable by how rich everything about this place is. Phos - you look in the corner, and there she is.”

Beetle identifies the weak link. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier - drunkenness modifier → 18 + 1 - 2 → 17 Beetle spies three young asari at the counter of the bar. They may not be the richest people here, but she’s had enough time hustling people that she’s fairly certain she can trick them.

Beetle persuades the asari to listen to her. Persuasion roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier - drunkenness modifier → 16 + 1 - 2 → 15 “I pray,” Beetle’s player says.

The asari contest. Knowledge saving throw. 1d20 + knowledge modifier.

Asari 1 → 14 + 0 → 14 Asari 2 → 8 + 0 → 8 Asari 3 → 4 + 0 → 4

All three asari fail to contest.

The asari are willing to give Beetle the benefit of the doubt.

The asari contemplate the name of Beetle’s business. Knowledge roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier.

Asari 1 → 20 + 0 → 20 Asari 3 → 15 + 0 → 15 Asari 2 → 5 + 0 → 5

“Bullshit,” the first asari says. “This can’t be legit. I know a lot of what you’re talking about - champagne, liquor, spirits - and I’ve never heard of your company before. If you serve this kind of bar, I surely would have heard of you. Who are you, exactly?”

Beetle tricks the asari into investing in her ‘company’. Deception check. 1d20 + knowledge modifier + Con bonus - drunkenness modifier → 20 + 1 + 1 - 2 → 20 “They’ll believe anything I tell them now.”

Phos persuades Leti not to arrest the party. Persuasion roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier - drunkenness modifier → 16 + 1 - 1 → 16

Leti contests. Knowledge roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier → 12 + 2 → 14

“Okay, here’s the thing: you rolled higher than her, but your argument is really - not good. So I’m gonna do a compromise here.”

Phos whacks Isolde on the back of the head. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier - drunkenness modifier → 16 + 2 - 1 → 17

Isolde contests. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 18 + 5 → 23 Isolde sucessfully contests.

“You try to smack her. She just ducks underneath, shoots you some finger guns, and then heads on over to the bar.“

Phos and Beetle high-five. Epicness roll. 1d20 - drunkenness modifier.

Phos → 7 - 2 → 5 Beetle → 5 - 2 → 3

"You go through these really exaggerated motion, and then you just fucking swing, and you just keep swinging, and you just hit empty air and you just keep going.”

“Every time they miss, Beetle says, ‘nice dodge,’“ Beetle’s player says.

Beetle tries to convince Kara to take the dance-off elsewhere; Phos tries to convince her to do it in Lounge Zero. Persuasion roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier - drunkenness modifier.

Phos → 12 - 2 → 10 Beetle → 11 - 2 → 9

Phos wins out, barely.

Dance-off. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier - drunkenness modifier.

Kara → automatic crit Phos → 18 + 2 - 2 → 18 Beetle → 18 + 2 - 2 → 18 Fausius → 14 + 1 → 15 Cat → 10 + 2 - 2 → 10 Bea → 9 + 0 - 2 → 7 Ann → 7 + 0 - 2 → 5 Advika → 4 + 0 - 0 → 4

Advika loses the dance-off and buys the next round.

Leti is impressed by Phos’s dancing. Persuasion roll on Phos’s part. 1d20 + knowledge modifier →17 + 0 → 17 “The body speaks,” Beetle says.

“She’s looking at you,” I say. “That’s about it.”

The party avoids the pole at Walked Into. Dexterty saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier - drunkenness modifier. "Beetle just dies,” Beetle’s player says.

Beetle: beetle dex save: 4 - 4 +1 = 1 Phos: Dex save: 6 + 2 - 4 = 4 Vekar: vekar dex save roll 19 + 2 = 21 Vekar: "Guys im starting to think we're gonna have to cut you all off and give you some coffee" Phos: Phos: "what is coffee and why the fuck would I need some of it" Vasir: vasir rolled a 1

Beetle, Phos, and Vasir walk into the pole.

The party checks out Walked Into. Perception check. 1d20 + perception modifier - drunkenness modifier.

Vasir → 15 + 0 - 0 → 15 Beetle → 18 + 1 - 4 → 15 Vekar → 14 - 4 - 0 → 10 Phos → 8 + 1 - 4 → 5

"What the fuck? Why do they keep bringing us to different bars when they’re all the same?” Beetle’s player says, after I had described to Vasir how the bar was quieter, cozier, and full of locals.

Beetle poledances (and destroys the pole). Dexterity check → crit Strength check → -2

Beetle pulls off a fabulous pole dance and fails utterly to destroy the pole.

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#session 9 #operation #operation: drop it like it's hot #the dm #summary

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solarwindandcosmicash · 8 years ago

Text

priority: the nova

Absent: Kate’s player

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The party, accompanied by Kara’Lisan, is sent to investigate the Nova, a ship containing a small group of quarian agents performing illegal experimentation on geth, while another strike team hits the Avalon, a similar ship that is apparently owned by the same researcher: Hiri’Nimit. They meet a geth unit named Dawn looking for its lost brethren, and soon discover that Kara is both familiar with the ship and the people in it. They eventually find Hiri’Nimit and decide to expose her crimes, fating Kara to be running from authorities for the rest of her life and putting Vasir’s life in constant danger.

summary

Annos and Tris brief the team about a quarian reseacher named Hiri’Nimit - who had been receiving funding from the white raider rebel group, according to the Shadow Broker. There are two ships to be investigated, and the party has been assigned the Nova with Annos’s strike team taking on the Avalon. Kara is also coming along with the party because of her familiarity with quarian vessels, and Telissa drops all of them off soon afterwards.

Upon entering the Nova, it becomes apparent that Kara is intricately familiar with specifically the Nova, though she doesn’t disclose why when asked. Instead, the party finds themselves in an empty atrium of sorts - a pristine and untouched office space, and though it’s in perfect shape, it looks like it’s never been used for its intended purpose, or any purpose at all. Phos checks out the only desk in the place and finds a datapad, which reads as follows:

D Rannoch

E Citadel

I Rannoch

J Ilium

K.N MIA

K.R MIA

L MIA

P Rannoch

Kara takes the datapad from Phos and informs the party that it can be decrypted. Once Vekar and Beetle have done so, its contents are thus:

Drenema'Quivne nar Lestiak vas Rayya - RANNOCH - assisting in liveship transition efforts

Efoh'Suele nar Iktomi vas Defranhz - NOVA - leaving in 1 galactic day to begin hunting

Irina'Renille nar Qwib Qwib vas Shellen - RANNOCH - assisting in liveship transition efforts

Jek'Ava nar Shellen vas Bavea - ILIUM - hunting

Kara'Lisan nar Rayya vas Moreh - DESERTED - last known location: Nova, 4 and a half standard galactic months

Krivu'Nyjon nar Shellen vas Rayya - DESERTED [CITADEL] - last known location: met with Efoh in Zakera factory ward, 4 galactic months

Lachnim'Urah nar Moreh vas Shellen - DESERTED [CITADEL] - last known location: met with Efoh in Zakera factory ward, 4 galactic months

Pliyet'Ololan nar Ulesa vas Tonbay - TONBAY - agent in Admiral Shala'Raan's advisor circle

Phos picks up on Kara’s name being on the list, though when questioned, Kara answers only tersely and doesn’t reveal anything of use. Instead, she advises the party to move out of sight of the hallway and deactivates the camera up ahead upon opening the door to it; after a brief argument with Phos, who insists on leading, Kara leads the party forward through the corridor and, eventually, she enters a small room on their right under tactical cloak and alone.

When the party follows her in, they discover she is talking to a geth unit, who she introduces as Dawn. They also encounter two hostile quarians in the next room over, who attempt to escape via tactical cloak but are killed by Kara and Beetle when they do. Dawn explains it is looking for the distress signals of several geth units, and when it finds two in the room beyond, it informs the party that there are eleven more units to find. With this in mind, the party leaves the room and continues down the hallway.

Kara deactivates a camera further down the hallway and triggers the alarm protocols of two hacked geth units, which, when subdued, Dawn does not recognize. Here, Kara also finds a datapad, which reads as follows:

From: K---l'---a To: -a-'-e--- Subject: l-t--- -e-s

--m--r--,

Tak- - -o-- wh-- y-u can.

Re--r-s, K

Attached to this message: --j-- i----fs

It took far too long to decrypt the data packets, and the information was useless - but given its nature, it could lead to something that will be valuable to my research. Will have to examine it further.

No one is able to decrypt the message further; Kara determines it must be corrupted. The party then moves on to the closest door on their right, where she and Beetle quickly subdue a geth hunter. After briefly reporting back to Annos about their findings, the party finds another datapad, which reads:

J lost his target. I've called him back. Intel is already hassling me enough, and I can't give them what they want without more information. I can't afford more failures like this if I want to keep Intel from cleaning.

Hopefully E and K will be able to get him back up to speed. Keelah knows I could use more agents like them.

The party returns to the hallway soon after, checking first the door at the far end of the hall and ducking back to go to the branching hallway after Kara surmises Hiri’Nimit would be beyond it. There they find another door and subdue the two geth hunters inside, though they set off a ship-wide alarm in the process as they failed to notice and deactivate a camera and report to Annos as such. Inside the room are two deactivated geth and a datapad that reads as follows:

E managed to nab one of KL's data packets. It's a wealth of information. With this, I should be finally able to make progress on my research. K was also able to get intel from the Alarei. I would ask how, but I feel I'm better off not knowing.

E tells me the agent who provided the data packet is in the field; I've sent them and a few others to see what they can learn about them. My life - and my agents' lives - depends on my work's success.

The party leaves the room and continues down the hallway back to the far door and hack it to go inside. Beetle is stabbed by a quarian, who the party promptly locks out of the room, and once assured that the assaulter was not with them, Vasir goes to investigate the datapads at the far end of the room while Dawn busies itself with the four deactivated geth. The first datapad reads:

My appeal to my superiors was blocked. I'll have to find another way to get the information I need from her. Having another one of my agents break in is too risky without E or K around.

There must be a way. If I don't hurry, Intel will start cleaning up. I need to have something to show them soon.

The second one reads:

I was contacted by some kind of organization today. I don't know how they heard about our problems, and normally I wouldn't dare think to accept help outside of Intel. But these are desperate times, and they have the funding we need to survive.

I have an idea, now that there is money to go around. It's a very risky one. But there's no choice. It's us or them. Finding the medicinal records wasn't as easy, but I have them, and J was able to get the images I need.

I've called for K. She's never failed a job. Ancestors, let her succeed on this one.

Kara is unable to speak of what these messages mean (though perhaps she was merely unwilling). The party sets up a few countermeasures to let them know when the qurian who had stabbed Beetle hacks through the door, and they move onto the next room, where they find more deactivated geth and another datapad that reads as follows:

E got a list of KL's agents. So far, so good - Intel has been fooled, and information is coming in. No one seems suspicious, as of yet.

The data packets I've received have been immeasurably useful in my research. It's a little alarming how much information KL's been amassing, if I'm being honest. I wonder if she had ulterior motives? Regardless, J worked with I to get me some live platforms to tinker with. I'm confident I'll be able to present something useful to Intel soon.

Keelah, we're saved.

Following a fight with Efoh’Suele, and after subduing Pliyet’Ololan, and after reporting to Annos again, the party discovers yet more datapads. The first reads:

Thankfully, Intel was impressed with my research. They've given us more funding - and less supervision and more space. It's been tough going, but finally, we can all relax a bit.

K.R and L have gone missing. I sent one of Kalal's agents to see if he could do any better, but he hasn't reported in for a number of days.

The next one is documentation about Kara herself:

KARA'LISAN NAR RAYYA VAS MOREH - cannot shoot with her right hand due to injury during Pilgrimage - currently stationed on the Moreh - years of operation: 7

Ops: 14 1. Dexa'Lorisse [NEEMA] 2. Elume'Frery [RAYYA] 3. Whivrim'Toor [SHELLEN] 4. Nomyrha'Gosin [ULESA] 5. Orele'Mulep [ABANDONED] 6. Bhevra'Seekko [SHELLEN] 7. Tilalu'Meva [IDENNA] 8. Rora'Kelan [SHELLEN] 9. Vasir'Rama [FAILED] 10. Casotto'Ilek [MOREH] 11. Yan'Coeur [ABANDONED] 12. Ailiz'Norfinsch [RAYYA] 13. Isoi'Treon [NEEMA] 14. Jupai'Yvun [QWIB QWIB] 15. Kalal'Vena [MOREH]

Questioning Kara allows the party to learn that this is her record, though it isn’t until the party has found Hiri’Nimit - and restrained Kara to prevent her from killing her - that Annos informs the party that she was a spy for quarian Intel. Eventually the party decides to expose Nimit’s crimes, letting Efoh and Pliyet go and bringing Nimit to Rannoch to face justice.

Nimit plays her final card, however: she releases Kara’s assassination record and publicizes every single agent that that Vasir works with and knows. Kara is willing to live with that consequence; Vasir is as well.

notable lines + interactions

DM: You kind of gather around Annos, and he quickly pulls out his omni-tool and tap out something, and a minute or so later you see Tris come down the stairs, actually. And, um, they both turn to you, and I closed my fucking doc because I’m an idiot - Phos, OOC: Oh my god. DM: - so give me oooone second.

Annos: So you four will be going in one, and my strike team will be going in the other. Beetle: Oh, so the capable one is yours, then, I see. Annos: I - okay. Anyway.

Phos: Should we be expecting, um, what do you call it, to be received with gunfire? Annos: Most likely, I mean, we’re not entering by invitation, obviously. The idea is that we should be stealthy about this so we don’t get caught, but, um. Knowing you guys, I am not optimistic. Phos: Yeah, Annos - Annos, we have an issue here. Annos: I’m sure you’ll all be fine. Beetle: We’re not exactly the singing candygrams. DM, under her breath and laughing: Oh my god. Vasir, OOC, laughing: What does that even mean? DM: Don’t worry about it, don’t worry about it.

Telissa: Everyone ready? Vasir: Yep. Vekar: Yes. Beetle: Born ready.

DM, laughing: Do you disembark or do you just stand there? Beetle, OOC: Beetle holds her hand out for a high five. Beetle: One more to remember you by. Telissa: I can’t get off of this seat, so come a little bit closer. Also bend down. Good luck! Beetle: We won’t need it. Vekar: Famous last words. Phos: Haha, um.

Kara: I hate this place. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Stay close to me. Beetle, OOC: Oh, like McMansion hell, huh?

Beetle: Kara, I just want you to know, I don’t like the interior design either.

Phos, OOC: Phos was almost driven mad by all the time loops. Vekar, OOC: Almost?

Party minus Vekar: [rolls terrible perception] DM: Well, let’s wait for Vekar’s roll. Phos, OOC: Vekar, please. Save us. Beetle, OOC: Please, Vekar. DM: Kate’s not here to carry you. Vekar, OOC: [rolls a -1]

in discord Beetle: [DM]: don’t worry your pretty little heads about anything.

Kara: I’m surprised we haven’t met anyone yet, actually. - Though I suppose it... no, it doesn’t matter. Beetle: That’s very mysterious, but okay.

Phos, OOC: Phos’s fursona is a chicken. Vasir, OOC: Oh, no. Beetle, OOC: [laughter]

Phos: [rolls a 0] Beetle, OOC: [hysterical laughter] DM, between hysterical laughter: Oh my god. Oh, my god. Vasir, OOC: I come back to screaming.

Beetle: Qwib Qwib. Phos: Kara? Kara, you’re - you’re on this list. Beetle: Oh! I honestly was too distracted by Qwib Qwib. I didn’t notice. Vasir: Just be glad you’re not a quarian. That’s all I have to say about Qwib Qwib. Beetle: You know... I’ll carry that with me.

in discord Phos: Everyone but Vasir and Kara: Practices how to pronounce those names and fails miserably

DM: You pick the lock with, uh, a great flourish, and you’re like, “Look at me! I’m so sick - ” Beetle: I am so sick! DM: - but there’s nothing in it. Beetle: Goddammit!

in discord Phos: Beetle unlocks the whole desk - the top pops open and in there are numerous pictures of frogs

Beetle: I hide under the desk.

Beetle: Tactical cloak buddies.

DM: Kara activates her tactical cloak and walks through the door - and the door closes behind her. Vasir and Phos, OOC: Hmmmm.

DM: And the geth says, um... I have to pull up my doc real quick. Beetle, OOC: Okay. That was a weird thing for a geth to say.

Dawn: This is an Intel ship. There’s no telling what would happen if we were to be captured. Beetle: Um, this is a spoiler alert, but here’s what I think, this is my hot take - I think we would die. Dawn: You are not wrong.

DM: [describes the interior of a room including fake plants] Vasir, OOC: You can’t escape fake plant decorations, even in space. DM, quietly: Never.

in discord Beetle: so i dont forget later Beetle: 13 distress signals Vasir: ye Phos: no killing Beetle: pwease no steppy Phos: nO

DM: [. . .] [Kara] activates her tactical cloak. Do you do that as well? Beetle, OOC: Yeah. I mean, me and Kara are leaving the rest of y’all to be clear and visible.

Phos: [posts this in discord]

Phos: Appreciate my dog

DM: Is that your dog? Phos: Yes. Vasir, OOC: Is that how Phos is hiding? Party: [laughter]

in discord Beetle: kara and beetle, watching everyone except vekar absolutely bomb hiding: ok Vasir: PLEASE DONT RUB IT IN Vasir: THE NUMBERS HATE ME

DM: Roll a perception check to see what you saw. [quieter] “See what you saw.” Goddammit.

Phos, OOC: I feel bad. Beetle, OOC: Vekar cannot get a break with perception. Vekar, OOC: It’s fiiiiiine. Vasir, OOC: It’s fine. DM: Everything’s fine.

Phos: Kara, I’m gonna ask you real quick. How - do we have to be careful with the quarians on this space, considering what they’re doing to the geth? Kara: They’re not the ones directly involved in experimentation. Phos: So do you want them pacified the same way as aggressive geth? Kara: What I want doesn’t matter. Lethal force is authorized. Beetle: Okay. Let’s just roll with this Philosophy 101 class. Give me a real answer. Phos: Lethal force - okay, sure. Let’s see what happens. Phos, OOC: And she walks to the door and NOPE, she can’t, it’s locked, never mind.

Phos, OOC: Phos tries to hack the door. DM: Phos, you make an attempt to hack the door, even though you know from the start that it isn’t going to work. And, sure enough, it doesn’t. Phos, OOC: I’m just a little frustrated at this point.

Beetle: I volunteer myself for sniping. Vasir: Are you sure? Beetle: As sure as I am about anything in my life. Vasir: Uh-huh, okay.

Beetle: Looks like this door is just, uh - looks like we’ll have to leave them in there forever. Vekar: I don’t think it works that way, Beetle.

DM: [. . .] And when the door opens, you see two deactivated geth and nothing else. Roll a perception check. Vasir, OOC: Oh boy. Phos, OOC: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

Phos, OOC: Wait, did I also get that? DM: No, you didn’t. Phos, OOC: Me and Vekar are just chillin’. Vekar: We have no idea what’s going on.

DM: As you do this, you don’t even see Kara move. You can’t see who it - hits, but you hear it, and it’s really quite gnarly. Vasir, OOC: You hear the thud and stuff? DM: Yeah, it’s really gross.

Beetle, OOC: 30. DM: That’s just enough to fucking kill this kid. [. . .] This is the one who had said ‘oh, shit!’ before, and she drops down, dead. Beetle: Who’s saying ‘oh, shit’ now? Kara: I - could you not?

Beetle, OOC: Can I roll to loot? DM: Ye - uh - um. You bend down to do this, and Kara immediately slaps your hand away, and she says, “Have some respect.” Beetle, OOC: Okay. Can I roll to loot, but secretly? DM: Uh, yeah, you’ll be going against her perception check, but go ahead. Beetle, OOC: [rolls a 15] Ha ha ha ha. DM: [rolls a 16] Beetle, OOC: Dammit! DM: Uh, yeah, so you bend down to go loot them, and Kara’s like - she doesn’t even turn around, she’s just like - Kara: I know. I know what you’re doing. Don’t do it. Beetle: ... Fine. But I want you to teach me how to do that. Kara: It - all it takes is watching. Beetle: Well, no shit about watching.

in discord Vasir: I JUST REMEMBERED WHY DAWN THE GETH IS FAMILIAR HOLY FUCK

Phos, OOC: Why’s the name ‘Dawn’ familiar? Vekar, OOC: I am not sure. DM: I wrote a fic once with a geth named Dawn that was mentioned in one sentence. I’m not sure if you’ve even read it, though, so there’s that. Vekar, OOC: Well, [Vasir’s player] must have read it, she remembers. DM: Maybe.

in discord Beetle: mcmansion critique: long hallway with 1 door at the end of one bend and then 1 other door at the end of the hallway Beetle: when will the excess of the bourgouise overwhelm them? DM: links or it didn't happen

Vasir, OOC: Has anyone let Annos know about this, or should I go do that? Beetle, OOC: Oh, shit! We have communications! We can call Assman!

Beetle: Here’s my proposal: why don’t we just lock the door behind us? Dawn: You realize that geth can open locked doors pretty easily, right? Beetle: ... Yep! But it’ll give us, you know, a millisecond advantage. Vekar: We could just leave them a note!

DM: Roll a perception check. Phos, OOC: All of us? DM: All of you. Beetle, OOC: All of us? DM: All of you.

Dawn: Those are geth units. Phos: What kind? Dawn: The kind that try to kill us.

Beetle, OOC: Is there some kind of terminal we could access that could help us disconnect them? DM: This is not Legion’s loyalty mission. No. Beetle, OOC: Oh, well, I thought I would try asking, but you know.

Phos, OOC: I also put a piece of tape over [the geth’s] eye thingy, just in case. DM: Okay. Vekar, OOC: Sleep well, sweet prince. Party: [laughter] Vasir, OOC: Ooooh my god. DM: God, that was such a good joke, fuck.

in discord Vasir: holy shit Vekar: SPACE TAPE RODEO SHOW Vasir: space tape™ never fails Vekar: a neatly wrapped geth trooper Beetle: tape them together Phos: this is the friendship tape

in discord Beetle: this ship

Vasir, OOC: C’mon, Beetle, this isn’t the temple on Eden Prime.

Vasir, OOC: We’re all just passing the datapad around like a hot potato, trying to decrypt shit. Beetle, OOC: We’re passing it around asking each other, like, “Do you know what this is?” and everyone’s like “Hm, nope, don’t know shit.” Phos, OOC: Phos taps on it and is like, “Yep, this sure is a datapad,” before passing it along. Beetle, OOC: Does Phos even know it’s a datapad with that -1?

Beetle, OOC: You should know I’m never straight. I vote right. Phos, OOC: I just said “I vote straight, unlike myself.”

Beetle, OOC: Beetle turns to everyone and says, “I have magic powers!” and then turns invisible. Vasir, OOC: You have a tactical cloak, Beetle. Beetle, OOC: She doesn’t respond.

DM: Okay, um - wow, that is the fastest I’ve ever eaten food, oof. Anyway.

Kara: We could use some space tape over here, Phos. Phos: Yes! I’m always ready to space tape! Beetle: Come here, you giant space tape dispenser. I love you.

DM: Okay, what do you guys do now, after this fraught discussion.

Beetle, OOC: So it’s a hallway with two branches? DM: It’s - ehh - I don’t want to show you my shitty map because a) it’s a shitty map and b) spoilers - Beetle, OOC: Fair. DM: Let me try to explain this. [proceeds to fuck up her explanation] Does that - [laughter] does that make sense? Vasir, OOC: It really doesn’t, but okay. DM: I’m so sorry.

Vasir, OOC: I’m just asking the party that. DM: Okay, yeah. Discuss amongst yourselves. [silence] DM: Or - or don’t, yeah.

Beetle, OOC: Don’t worry, you guys, I have vastly improved since the last time I tried this. [rolls a 10]

DM: So similar to last time - with flawless execution, since you had one shot to practice this -

Phos, OOC: Ooh, that’s not gonna do it. Beetle, OOC: It’s a sporty boy. DM: Why.

in discord Vekar: we should name this manuever Vasir: omg Beetle: the hit & run cryoblast Vekar: we have hacks, ice beams, charging krogan and space tape™ Vasir: The Icy Dicey Tackle Tape Beetle: Freeze & Wrap Vasir: FUCK Vekar: [Vasir's player] i cant believe you actually made a suggestion Vasir: i was inspired by a tumblr post about watergate

DM: Yeah, you nod at Dawn; Dawn doesn’t acknowledge you. What do you do about the - Phos, OOC: Dammit, Dawn! I did the bro nod, why you do this to me? Vasir, OOC: It’s a geth.

Beetle: Oh, shit, the fire alarm’s going off! Put it out!

DM: Vekar has been rolling so poorly on perception checks, I feel like I should stop explaining what happens when he does. Beetle, OOC, crosstalk: Just have him roll 1d4 and don’t even explain how he got hurt. Phos, OOC, crosstalk: Vekar just turns and runs into a wall. DM: Vekar, you go to check out the room and walk out the door instead into the hallway. Vasir, OOC: Can he even tell us if anything’s coming with a -2?

in discord Vekar: THE ALAREI Vekar: RED FLAGS WHEEOOO WHEEOO Vasir: THATS RIGHT

DM: Okay. Roll to de-hack - de-hack? Roll to hack the door. Beetle, OOC: De-hack. Vekar, OOC: De-hack: we’re out.

Beetle, OOC: As I’m [rolling a dex save], I’m yelling, “I’m going to die!”

DM: And you are stabbed. Beetle: I’m dying! DM: Take 15 points of damage. Beetle: I’m dead! Vasir, OOC: Factor in your shields before you kill yourself. Beetle: I’m alive!

DM: And they kind of give you a cheeky little wave before they disappear again. Beetle: Oh, fuck you! You don’t get to steal my thing!

Beetle: This is my lifeblood coming out of me! Do you see what is happening? Vasir: I can see that! I think Vekar needs to help you, and then we can deal with whoever stabbed you. Beetle: They need to die. Vasir: Was it a quarian? A geth? Beetle: Quarian. Kara: That was probably Pliyet. Beetle: They gave me this cheeky-ass wave - Kara: Yep, that was definitely Pliyet. Okay, um. Lock the door behind you?

in discord Beetle: beetle perception roll 4 her new nemesis: 16 +1 = 17

Beetle, OOC: Beetle bangs on the door and yells, “Get fucked!”

Vasir, OOC: I’m assuming we’re all crowded around, reading these datapads? Phos, OOC: Well...

in discord Phos: Phos, trying to read these messages: 5 - 3 = 2 Vekar: "It sure is a datapaad!" Phos, probably before, now, and in the future.

Phos, OOC: ... some of us are trying to. Vasir, OOC: I can blow up the text for you. Phos, OOC: It takes her like four minutes to figure out that it’s a datapad with text on it. And then she hands it to Kara with a shrug.

Kara: Everything makes a lot more sense now. Vekar: Does it, now, because I think we’re all still in the dark.

Vasir, OOC: Did Vekar ever heal Beetle or anything? DM: I mean, she’s fine. Vekar, OOC: She lost like, what, 5 health? Vasir, OOC: I suppose the morale was hurt more than anything, huh? Beetle, OOC: [laughter]

in discord Phos: Phos trying to read anything ever again: 6 - 3 = 3

DM: Oh no. Phos, OOC: I can’t do this anymore. Vekar, OOC: Welcome to my life when it comes to perception checks.

in discord Vekar: Vasir doing nice things for phos: nat20's always Vasir: ... omg

Phos, OOC: Aw. Phos appreciates this. Now it’s only Kara that’s in her bad books. Vasir: She said she’d explain more later. It can’t be easy coming back to a place like this and seeing all of this garbage happening.

in discord Beetle: the floor is supporting and loving ur teammates Beetle: beetle: (goes prone)

DM: [laughter] Vasir, OOC: Aww, Beetle.

Beetle, OOC: Five mystery geth. Vasir, OOC: They’re wearing trench coats and hats and stuff.

Phos, OOC: Before they go, Phos kicks down the table. DM: Uh, okay, uh - hold - hold on, there are geth on those tables, do you still want to do that? Phos, OOC: Oh, nope, Phos doesn’t do that, then.

Kara: If we manage to subdue him, I can talk to him, maybe. But he’s hard to catch. Beetle, OOC: Hm! Slippery boy.

in discord Vekar: hard to ketch

DM: [. . .] and there’s a couple of datapads strewn about, some magazines - Beetle, OOC: Oh! Do they have Teen Vogue? DM: Space, uh, space Teen Vogue, yes, they do.

Phos, OOC: I want to pick him up, like, under the arms, so he can’t - actually, no, around the throat, around the throat, so his feet don’t touch the ground. Stick with my usual pattern here. DM: Roll a dexterity saving throw. Phos, OOC: A - what? DM: Roll a dex saving throw. Phos, OOC and uncertain: ... Okay.

Phos, OOC: Phos, when she sees him disappear, is like, “Fuck!” Beetle: Yeah, me too! Smug asshole! Phos: I hate these!

DM: It looks like he can’t activate his tactical cloak just yet - Beetle: Ha! Loser.

DM: I hate to say it, but - summoning call for fiskerinos. [pause] Nyello.

in discord Vasir: ny'all Vasir: the summoning call for fiskerinos Vasir: or maybe sahweeet Vekar: YEET DM: YEET Phos: Yeet Beetle, 3 minutes later: YEET

DM: Can’t believe that worked. Beetle, OOC: Yeet!

DM: So you nail this quarian right in the back. Or maybe the front, I - I don’t know where you are. You just take your shotgun, pump it a few times, and shoot him. Phos, OOC: Pew pew! DM: He just takes it. He looks completely fine. Phos, OOC: Oh, god. Beetle, OOC: Cool. Phos: Just give up, asshole! DM: Uh... he does not answer that.

in discord Beetle: beetle's cold shoulder redemption arc: 16 +1 + 4 = 21

Vasir, OOC: Dawn’s with me. DM: Dawn’s, uh - Dawn’s in the corner of the room, with its sniper rifle.

in discord Vekar: dawn is here Vekar: in our thoughts

Beetle, OOC: Maybe the place that Dawn was the whole time was our hearts. DM, deadpan: Wow.

in discord Vekar: Phos this is the time for space tape tm Phos: Phos Space taping it outta there: 15 + 4 = 19 Beetle: [posts this]

Vasir: oh m ygod Vekar: Actual size of Phos's space tape roll Vasir: what a sculpture Vasir: i love it Vasir: giant roll of masking tape

Pliyet: I can tell when I cannot win. Phos, OOC: Time to space taaaape! Beetle: Submit yourself to the space tape. Pliyet: Uh, okay.

Beetle, OOC: [rolls a 2 to investigate Pliyet’s motives] Vasir, OOC: You see a quarian tied up with space tape. Phos, OOC: No, no, you only see the space tape. Vasir, OOC: Floating space tape! Vekar, OOC: You don’t even know that this is the quarian who stabbed you, you’re just like, who is this? DM, amused at the backseat DM-ing: You look at this quarian and you think she’s lying. You think she’s hiding something. Beetle: She’s hiding something. Pliyet: Dude. I’m - I am restrained. What exactly do you expect me to do, like, blow myself up? That’s not my style. Beetle: I know you’re hiding something. Vekar, OOC: Can we pat her down for explosives? DM, tiredly: If you really want to search her for explosives, go right ahead. Beetle: Okay, I know you’re hiding something, but I’m not going to go that far. Bye.

Beetle, OOC: Can I briefly hit up Assman? DM: ... You can briefly hit up Annos. Vasir, OOC: [laughter] Beetle, OOC: I bring him up on the comm, and I’m like - Beetle: Yo, so, a bunch of shit happened. Annos: Uh-huh. Beetle: You know? Annos: Uh-huh. Beetle: Lots of shit, I got stabbed! I got stabbed. Annos: Yeah, okay, what else? Anything important? Beetle: Found people. They hurt me. Annos: Beetle. Can you pass this off to someone else, please?

Pliyet: Listen, I know this wasn’t the best introduction, and, uh - I’m sorry for stabbing you, by the way, that was kind of a, uh, misstep, we’ll say. But you do have us taped up, like, we can’t do shit. Beetle: You know what? That’s fair. And your kind of, like, asshole style? Something I can get behind. Pliyet: Gee, thanks. Beetle: No problem. I try to compliment my ENEMIES.

backstory interactions

Kara: I don’t expect you to understand.

Vekar: So what are these names, Kara? Kara: They’re names. It’s not important. Let’s just keep moving. Beetle: You were here. Kara: Yes. Beetle: Four and a half standard galactic months ago. Kara: Yes. Beetle: ... Okay. Kara: We should keep moving.

Phos, OOC: Phos leads the group. Kara: No. Let me lead. I know this ship. Phos: Kara, I can literally take twice as many bullets as you. I kind of don’t want you to die. Kara: I don’t think you understand the nature of this ship. Let me lead. Beetle: It does seem very camera-heavy. Phos, OOC: Phos is very skeptical because this is not a good idea, what with her being a quarian in a ship full of hostiles - Vasir: Just listen to her. Kara: I need you to trust me, okay? I know what I’m doing. Phos: Okay, fine. Fine.

Beetle: So, Kara? It seems like... Eefoh. Eifoh. [continuous mispronunciations of the name] Kara: Efoh. Beetle: Efoh. Thank you. Uh, Efoh stole one of your data packets? Kara: I’m sorry, what? Data packets? Beetle: Yes, uh - Kata: Wh - what? Can I see this? Beetle: Yeah, check it out! “E managed to nab one of KL’s data packets.” DM: She starts laughing. Kara: No. [pause] Oh, god. That’s not me, but I think I know who it is. Beetle, OOC: Hmm. Juicy! Vasir: Would it be someone on this ship? Kara: It would be someone you know, Vasir. Let’s just keep moving.

Vasir: Quarians - ever since we lost the homeworld, there’ve always been quarians who wanted to take back the geth as servants and weapons. This isn’t that surprising to find. It just looks worst because ever since Rannoch and Legion uploaded the Reaper code and allowed them to reach true AI status where they have will and don’t have to be networked, they are individuals now. It takes on different connotations. Phos: They had four months to fix this. They could’ve shut this down the moment that everything was okay and the geth were bargained with. Kara: Why fix something that’s working? Phos, OOC: Phos just kind of sneers disgustedly at Kara. Phos: They’re doing the same things as slavers. Kara: Look, you’re not telling me anything I don’t already know. I’m just telling you why this is happening. Phos: Then why do I get the feeling you’re not - you’re not - Phos, OOC: She, like, sighs - Phos: You’re making this a lot harder since we don’t - who are these people involved, first of all, and I know it’s Intel, and I know that’s important for you, but the people involved - are they still getting funds for this, are they still getting support, do you know anything more about this, these two ships, these - Kara: Phos, I haven’t been here for four and a half months, what do you expect from me, I don’t know anything. Beetle: Um, sorry, a little bit of a tangential question. What does it mean when they refer to hunting? Kara: Chasing down runaways, usually. Beetle: Runaways as in geth runaways, or... deserters. Kara: No. It’s complicated. Um... I really. Shouldn’t. Tell you about that, actually. It - might... Phos: It seems like this intel - your help isn’t as needed as Annos apparently thinks since you’re withholding intel. If it’s regarding this mission, you need to tell us, now. Kara: It’s not regarding this mission and my life depends on whether I tell you or not. Can you stop, please. Phos: Whatever. Beetle: Would hunting be relevant to this mission? Kara: I am being hunted, if that helps. Beetle: Oh. I presume... deserting? Kara: Something like that. Beetle: Hm. Thank you.

in discord Phos: Vasir and Kara both just lost points with Phos

DM, amused: Friendship points. Buh-bye! Vasir, OOC: We never had a stat for that anyway. It’s up in the air.

DM: Kara gets to her feet, and she says - Kara: Efoh, stop. There’s no way you can win. This is it. DM: And Efoh kind of just, uh, stares at her. Efoh: You realize that because of you, two of our agents haven’t reported in. Kara: That wasn’t my fault. That wasn’t my fault, I wasn’t - I wasn’t there when - Efoh: We’re fucked because of you. Because you left. Kara: That’s - not something I can do anything about.

Efoh: If you’re going to kill me, just do it. Kara: No. I’m not going to do that.

Phos: Figure this situation out. Now. Kara: What do you want me to do? Phos: Are we keeping this guy? Kara: He’s restrained. That’s all we really need, isn’t it? Phos: Yeah. But are we keeping him? Are we gonna kill him later? What are we using him for? Kara: I don’t know. Phos: Why am I wasting good space tape on this dude? Kara: Because he might know more. More of the answers to the questions you’ve been asking me.

Pliyet: Kara, is that you? Kara: Unfortunately. DM: And Pliyet, as you’ve come to know her, says - Pliyet: You really shouldn’t have come here. You know that, right? Kara: It’s not like you can do anything to me right now. Pliyet: Yeah, that’s true.

Kara: Ah. Vekar: ‘Ah’, what? What is this? Kara: My record. Beetle: Vasir. Vasir: Hm? Beetle: It has - the name. Vekar: Why do they have your records? Kara: We should find Nimit. Phos: Do you think we can get the information from these two quarians? DM: You say that, and Pliyet’s like - Pliyet: Oh, yeah, she’s in the room past, uh, that one there. It’s the last room in the ship. Can’t miss it. Phos: Yep, ‘k, good to know. Beetle: Yeah, but, um... Vasir? Your name. Vasir: Hm. Well, that’s interesting. Kara: That’s a word for it.

Kara: You. Hiri: Kara? You came back? Kara: Believe me, I don’t want to be here. Funny how the galaxy works, isn’t it? Vasir: Hold on, Kara, don’t try stabbing her yet. Phos, grabbing onto Kara: Wow, hey, hey. Hiri: You were my best agent. Why – we were friends. I took care of you. Kara: No. You took everything from me. This was a long time coming. Hiri: What are you talking about? Kara: If you think I would miss any chance to kill you, you are sorely mistaken.

Annos: She didn’t tell you? Phos and Vekar: [various complains about how Kara had not been forthcoming about anything] Beetle: Her suit is full of secrets. Annos: You should’ve tried harder to make her talk, but anyway, it’s not my story to tell. - She told you she was in Intel, right? Phos: No. Vekar: No. Beetle: Nope! Annos: Well, there’s that. Hiri’Nimit was her former superior. [long pause] Phos: Okay. Vekar: Okay. Beetle: Okay. Descriptive. Annos: I assume you don’t know how quarian Intel works, and it’s too much to explain right now, but - just know that... well. Vasir: I’m assuming we want Nimit alive for the moment?

Hiri: If you’re dragging me down, I’m taking you with me. Kara: At least I’m trying to atone for my crimes. I’m not afraid of you anymore. Hiri: You know, I have a list of your former boss’s agents. Let me go, and I won’t expose your entire network. Vasir: Hm. So i suppose that’s the stakes, everyone. Dawn: What you have done here is grounds for war. It must be made known, regardless of consequence. Phos: This is almost worse than slavery. We’re exposing this. This is - it’s been a horrible, horrible place for any geth involved. Even if there was a war going on between the two, this has been an abuse of sentient rights. You crossed the line way past the line of what is ethically right. You’re worst than slavers here. We’re exposing this.

Vekar: So what exactly is going to be the fallout for any of you, if she reveals what she’s going to? Vasir: I imagine me and Kara will have some issues with potential hunters. I’m not sure how it’ll go for the rest of my network, considering I haven’t been in contact with any of them since the final battle in the Reaper War? Vekar: Can any of them bring a gunship? Because as far as I’m concerned, we’ve faced off with worse. Kara: The most of what will happen - I’ve already accepted. I will always be hunted. That’s the reality of this situation.

Kara: But - why would you do this? Hiri: You know how Intel works. If I didn’t have anything, they would’ve gotten rid of us. Kara: Exile. Not death. Hiri: I could not let any of you come to harm. This is my life’s work. It wasn’t a good idea, but I couldn’t risk it. There was no other way. Kara: Risk what? Hiri: Everything. Your life. Our lives. My life. It all depended on whether I had something to show. I took the funding from the raider group because what choice did I have? Phos: You had plenty. Hiri: Would it be worth it? It wasn’t just me, it was everyone under me, and I could not - I cannot, in good faith - Phos: What about the lives you destroyed here? Hiri: I started experimentation on the geth before they became true AI. Don’t try t lecture me on this. I know it’s wrong, but what choice did I have? And Intel - Phos: Who is the one who can decide whether they are true AI or not? Hiri: I don’t know the answer to that question. I was doing what I could to survive, to keep my agents alive. Kara: They don’t kill us, they just exile us. Hiri, you fool.

Vasir: We suffered the Morning War, but it’s been three hundred years. And it’s been five months since the Reaper War, and the geth - we fought them in the beginning, but eventually we made peace, and - Hiri: Are you giving me a history lesson? What’s the point of this? Vasir: ... They deserve justice, and we’re exposing you.

Kara: The funding - you must’ve made a deal. What did you promise? Hiri: Why should I tell you? Clearly you’ve thrown in your lot with other people. Vekar: If you tell us, we can stop them, and they won’t hunt you down. Hiri: Hah. Vekar: Who are you going to throw my lot with? Hiri: You’re already going to kill me. Just - whatever you do, I’m going to die. Phos: Well, that’s the situation you’ve worked yourself into, isn’t it? Hiri: I don’t expect you to understand. Phos: I’m not trying to. Beetle: Look, you can make your case in front of - god, I can’t believe I’m saying this - the justice system instead of us. Hiri: There is no justice for us. I’m dead, no matter what I do. Beetle: That’s just how the cookie crumbles.

Phos: What - what can we do to reverse the damage done to the geth here? Dawn: Given enough time, we should be able to figure it out on our own. Phos: Good.

Vekar: We need the rest of them to testify, so - Pliyet: Oh, no, no, no, we’re fucking dead, man. But I guess that’s just what happens, huh?

Kara: You should let them go. Give them a chance to run. Phos: Are they worth it? Are you sure they won’t cause any consequence. Kara: I’m surprised you would listen to me, Phos. But they - none of us were ever involved in direct experimentation. We just did what was asked. Vasir: Nimit did - Phos: It’s an easy thing to say when you’re the pawn not trying to figure out what’s going on with the king. Kara: You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know. Let them try to atone for their crimes.

DM: Wow, that was very philosophical! Good stuff, [Phos’s player].

Hiri: I don’t expect you to understand. You’re not in Intel.

technical notes

The party looks around the atrium. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Kara → 17 + 4 → 21 Beetle → 9 + 1 → 10 Vasir → 9 + 0 → 9 Phos → 2 + 1 → 3 Vekar → 3 - 4 → -1

Kara sweeps the room and finds nothing of concern. Vekar trips and takes 1d4 → 1 point of damage to his health. Everyone else fails to see anything of note.

Phos and Beetle investigate the desk. Investigation roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Phos → 15 + 1 → 16 Beetle → 14 + 1 → 15

Phos and Beetle find a datapad in one of the drawers.

Phos attempts to turn the datapad on. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → 3 - 3 → 0 Phos picks up the datapad and immediately drops it. Kara picks it up from the floor a moment later.

The party, minus Phos, decrypts the datapad. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier + proficiency bonus.

Vekar → 19 + 1 + 0 → 20 Beetle → 13 + 2 + 1 → 16 Vasir → 2 + 4 + 1 → 7

Vekar and Beetle successfully decrypt the datapad.

Beetle picks the desk’s lock. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 19 + 1 → 20 Beetle easily unlocks the remaining desk drawers. They are all empty, much to her disappointment.

Kara deactivates Camera #1. Automatic success. The camera is deactivated; the party is free to proceed.

Kara deactivates Camera #2. Automatic success. The camera is deactivated; the party is free to proceed.

Irina’Renille and Drenema’Quivne notice the party. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Irina → 18 + 4 → 22 Drenema → 6 + 4 → 10

Irina notices the party outside of the room, beyond the locked door, and alerts Drenema. She also alerts the rest of the ship.

The party dives for cover as the door opens. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier + proficiency bonus.

Kara → automatic success Beetle → automatic success Vekar → 14 + 2 → 16 Dawn → 6 + 2 → 8 Vasir → 5 + 1 → 6 Phos → 4 + 2 → 6

Vekar manages to stay out of Irina’s line of sight. The rest of the party, including Dawn, are not so lucky.

When the door opens, the party checks out the room beyond. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Phos → 19 + 1 → 20 Vasir → 18 + 0 → 18 Dawn → 10 + 4 → 14 Beetle → 10 + 1 → 11 Vekar → 14 - 4 → 10

Phos and Vasir see two deactivated geth units and two quarians in the room beyond.

Phos hacks the door and overrides the lock. Technical roll. 1d20 + tech modifier + proficiency bonus → 8 - 3 + 0 → 5 Phos fails to unlock the door, surprising no one.

Some members of the party hack the door and override the lock. Technical roll. 1d20 + tech modifier + proficiency bonus.

Vekar → 16 + 2 → 18 Vasir → 11 + 4 → 15 Kara → 12 + 3 → 15 Beetle → 11 +2 → 13

Vekar manages to unlock the door.

The party notices Irina and Drenema. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Kara → 20 + 4 → 24 Beetle → 20 + 1 → 21 Phos → 17 + 1 → 18 Dawn → 3 + 4 → 7 Vekar → 6 - 4 → 2 Vasir → 2 + 0 → 2

Kara and Beetle immediately pinpoints Irina and Drenema’s locations, despite their tactical cloaks.

SEE FIRST BATTLE NOTES

Beetle loots the bodies without Kara noticing. Sleight of hand roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier + proficiency bonus → 13 + 1 + 1 → 15

Kara contests. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → 12 + 4 → 16 Kara successfully contests.

Kara notices and prevents Beetle from looting the bodies of her friends.

The party checks down the hallway after Kara deactivates the camera. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Dawn → 18 + 4 → 22 Phos → 12 + 1 → 13 Vekar → 15 - 4 → 11 Kara → 6 + 4 → 10 Vasir → 12 + 0 → 12 Beetle → 6 + 1 → 7

Dawn quickly identifies the lights as two hostile geth units at the end of the hallway.

SEE SECOND BATTLE NOTES

The party investigates the hallway. Investigation roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Kara → 11 + 4 → 15 Beetle → 13 + 1 → 14 Phos → 9 + 1 → 10 Dawn → 3 + 4 → 7 Vasir → 4 + 0 → 4 Vekar → 3 - 4 → -1

Kara notices the datapad in the hallway and hands it over to the party.

The party attempts to decrypt the datapad. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier.

Vekar → 10 + 1 → 11 Vasir → 5 + 4 + 1 → 10 Kara → 4 + 4 → 8 Dawn → 2 + 4 → 6 Beetle → 2 + 2 → 4 Phos → 2 - 3 → -1

No one in the party is able to decrypt the datapad. It remains tragically unreadable.

The geth hunter notices the door open. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → 16 + 2 → 18 The geth hunter immediately notices the door open and is aware someone must be inside the room.

SEE THIRD BATTLE NOTES

Vasir checks out the lab equipment. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → 20 + 0 → 20 Vasir immediately deduces that this is where the geth were experimented on in some fashion.

Phos intimidates Kara into telling her what she wants to know. Intimidation roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier → 20 Crit.

Kara contests. 1d20 + knowledge modifier → 8 + 0 → 8 Kara fails to contest.

Kara reluctantly agrees to answer Phos’s questions.

The party hacks the door. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier.

Kara → 18 + 4 → 22 Vekar → 19 + 2 → 21 Dawn → 11 + 4 → 15 Beetle → 8 + 2 → 10 Vasir → 3 + 4 → 7

Kara and Vekar work together to unlock the door. They do so with speed and ease.

SEE FOURTH BATTLE NOTES

The alarm goes off. The party didn’t notice the camera in the room; Kara deactivates it, but the damage is done, and a ship-wide alarm goes off, alerting everyone on board.

Beetle, Vasir, and Vekar look around the room. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Beetle → 15 + 1 → 16 Vasir → 4 + 0 → 4 Vekar → 2 - 4 → -2

Beetle locates a datapad.

The party hacks the door. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier.

Kara → 19 + 4 → 23 Vekar → 20 + 2 → 22 Beetle → 13 + 2 → 15 Dawn → 11 + 4 → 15

Kara and Vekar work together to unlock the door. They do so with speed and ease.

The party looks around the room. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Vasir → 16 + 0 → 16 Beetle → 15 + 1 → 16 Dawn → 11 + 4 → 15 Kara → 7 + 4 → 11 Vekar → 11 - 4 → 7 Phos → 4 + 1 → 5

Vasir and Beetle note the deactivated geth and camera on the ceiling.

Pliyet’Ololan sneaks past the party towards the door through which they entered. Stealth roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier + proficiency bonus → 18 + 4 + 2 → 24 Pliyet easily slips past the part with her tactical cloak activated.

Beetle notices someone using a tactical cloak near her. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → 18 + 1 → 19 Beetle notices something, but she’s not sure what.

Pliyet melees Beetle. Automatic success. No tactical cloak bonus, as Beetle noticed her.

Beetle dodges Pliyet’s attack. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifer → 5 + 1 → 6 Beetle fails to dodge Pliyet’s melee attack.

Damage roll. 2d8 → 7 + 8 → 15 Beetle takes 15 points of damage.

Beetle locks the door behind her. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → 14 + 2 → 16 Beetle easily locks the door behind her; Pliyet is unable to get into the room.

The party checks to make sure Pliyet is not in the room with them. Perception roll. 1d20 + technical modifier.

Kara → 20 + 4 → 24 Vasir → 20 + 0 → 20 Phos → 17 + 1 → 18 Beetle → 16 + 1 → 17

Vasir knows that the quarian who stabbed Beetle is not in the room.

Phos attempts to read the datapads. Mechanical roll. 1d20 + mechanical modifier → 5 - 3 → 2 Phos is confused. Very, very confused.

The party sets up an alarm on the door, so they will know if it opens. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier.

Vekar → 14 + 2 → 16 Kara → 6 + 4 → 10 Vasir → 1 + 4 → 5 Beetle → 2 + 2 → 4

Vekar successfully sets up a program that will ping the party if the door is hacked open.

Dawn hacks the camera, so it can see its feed and by extension when the door opens. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → 19 + 4 → 23 Dawn easily hacks the camera.

The party hacks open the door in the room. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier.

Beetle → 20 + 2 → 22 Vasir → 18 + 4 → 22

Together, Beetle and Vasir hack open the door.

The party looks around the room. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Beetle → 18 + 1 → 19 Vasir → 12 + 0 → 12 Vekar → 15 - 4 → 11 Phos → 9 + 1 → 10

Beetle spies the datapad on a counter. The rest of the party notices that the room houses a lot of intensive lab equipment.

Beetle locks the door behind her. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → 14 + 2 → 16 Beetle easily locks the door, providing another security measure against Pliyet.

Phos attempts to read the datapad. Mechanical roll. 1d20 + mechanical modifier → 6 - 3 → 3 Phos has no idea what she’s looking at.

Pliyet hacks the door. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → 6 + 4 → 10 Pliyet fails to hack the door.

Vasir checks out the lab equipment. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → 13 + 0 → 13 They note that the equipment is similar to other rooms, though it’s a bit more sophisticated.

SEE FIFTH BATTLE NOTES

Pliyet unlocks the door. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → 15 + 3 → 18 Pliyet successfully unlocks the door.

Beetle and Vekar attack. Attack roll.1d20 + dexterty modifier.

Vekar → 15 + 2 → 17 Beetle → 1 + 1 → 2

Vekar hits. Beetle fumbles with her gun and drops it.

Damage roll. 4d4 → 1 + 1 + 3 + 4 → 9 Pliyet takes 9 points of damage.

Beetle suspects Pliyet is up to no good. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier → 1 + 1 → 2 Beetle suspects she is up to no good.

Phos reads the datapads. Mechanical roll. 1d20 + mechanical modifier → 5 - 3 → 2 Phos fails, again, to read the datapads. Vasir reads them aloud to her.

Phos restrains Kara from killing Hiri’Nimit. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 15 + 2 → 17

Kara contests. Dexterity rol. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 11 + 4 → 15 Kara fails to contest.

Phos holds Kara back from attacking Hiri’Nimit on sight.

FIRST BATTLE

SURPRISE ROUND.

Beetle shoots one of the quarians with the Cold Shoulder. Attack roll with advantage. 1d20 + dexterity modifier + mod bonus → 19 + 1 + 3 → 23 Crit.

Damage roll. (3d6) x Tactical Cloak → (6 + 5 + 4) x 2 → (15) x 2 → 30 Beetle headshots Irina, killing her instantly.

Kara backstabs one of the quarians with her omni-tool. Attack roll with advantage. 1d20 + dexterity modifier + mod bonus → 14 + 4 + 10 → 24 This is sufficient to hit

Damage roll. (2d8 + 18) x Tactical Cloak → (4 + 5 + 18) x 2 → 27 x 2 → 54 Kara stabs Drenema in the back, killing them instantly.

SECOND BATTLE

Vekar uses Cryo Blast on the geth trooper. Attack roll. 1d10 → 10 This is sufficient to hit. The geth trooper is frozen solid and is immobile.

Vasir uses Sabotage on the geth trooper. Attack roll. 1d10 → 6 This is sufficient to hit. All of the geth’s damage rolls suffer a -2 penalty.

Phos charges the geth hunter. Attack roll. 1d10 → 8 This is sufficient to tackle the geth hunter.

Phos grapples the geth hunter and constrains it with Space Tape™. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 14 + 4 → 18

The geth hunter contests. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 13 + 2 → 15 The geth hunter fails to contest.

Phos manages to constrain the geth hunter with Space Tape™.

Phos grapples the geth trooper and constrains it with Space Tape™. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 18 + 4 → 22

The geth trooper contests. Strength roll. 17 + 1 → 18 The geth trooper fails to contest.

Phos manages to constrain the geth hunter with Space Tape™.

THIRD BATTLE

Kara melees the geth non-lethally. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 14 + 2 → 16 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. (2d8 + 18) x Tactical Cloak → (5 + 18) x 2 → 23 x 2 → 46 Kara shatters the geth’s shields and brings it down to critical health.

Beetle uses AI Hack on the geth hunter. Attack roll. 1d10 → 9 Beetle successfully hacks the geth hunter, rendering it immobile without the presence of hostiles.

FOURTH BATTLE

Vekar uses Cryo Blast on the geth trooper. Attack roll. 1d10 → 8 This is sufficient to hit. The geth trooper is frozen solid and is immobile.

Vasir uses Sabotage on the geth trooper. Attack roll. 1d10 → 10 This is sufficient to hit. All of the geth’s damage rolls suffer a -6 penalty.

Phos charges the geth trooper. Attack roll. 1d10 → 7 This is sufficient to tackle the geth trooper.

Phos grapples the geth trooper and constrains it with Space Tape™. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 9 + 4 → 13

The geth trooper contests. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 16 + 2 → 18 The geth hunter successfully contests.

Dawn assists. Dawn constrains one of the geth trooper’s arms.

Kara assists. Kara constrains one of the geth trooper’s arms.

Phos manages to constrain the geth hunter with Space Tape™.

Phos grapples the geth trooper and constrains it with Space Tape™. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 14 + 4 → 18

The geth trooper contests. Strength roll. 17 + 1 → 18 The geth trooper fails to contest.

Phos manages to constrain the geth trooper with Space Tape™.

FIFTH BATTLE

PREP.

Vekar activates Tech Armor and draws his assault rifle. Tech Armor. 1d20 → 15 Vekar gains 15 points of tech armor. Upon depletion, it will explode and cause damage within a 1 meter radius.

Beetle activates her Tactical Cloak and draws the Cold Shoulder.

Kara activates her Tactical Cloak.

Dawn sets up at a corner of the room with her sniper rifle.

Phos draws her shotgun.

Vasir braces by the door with their pistol.

The party checks out the room beyond. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception modifier.

Vasir → 20 + 0 → 20 Kara → 17 + 4 → 21 Phos → 18 + 1 → 19 Beetle → 17 + 1 → 18 Dawn → 14 + 4 → 18 Vekar → 16 - 4 → 12

The party sees the room is empty; only Kara notices Efoh’Suele and, despite that, is tackled to the ground anyway.

Efoh kills Kara. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 7 + 2 → 9 Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 3 + 2 → 5

Kara contests. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 8 + 4 → 12 Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 5 + 0 → 5 Kara successfully contests.

Efoh tries to stab Kara fatally in the throat; Kara barely manages to keep him at bay.

Phos chokes Efoh. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 16 + 2 → 18

Efoh contests. Dexterity roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 20 + 2 → 22 Crit.

Efoh counterattacks. Automatic success.

Damage roll. 2d8 → 4 + 7 → 11 Phos takes 11 points of damage.

Phos is unable to even touch Efoh as he forces her back with a slash of his omni-blade. He activates his tactical cloak a moment later and disappears.

The party rolls initiative. 1d20.

Vekar → 19 Efoh → 18 Phos → 14 Beetle → 12 Kara → 5 Vasir → 5 Pliyet → 5 Dawn → 3

Vekar looks for Efoh. Perception roll. 1d20 + perception roll → 12 - 4 → 8 "I’m gonna find you, and I’m gonna kill you, buddy!” Vekar says, as he does neither of those things.

Efoh melees Kara. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 18 + 2 → 20 This is sufficient to hit.

Kara parries. Parry. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 2 + 4 → 6 Kara fails to parry.

Damage roll. 2d8 x Tactical Cloak → (7 + 7) x 2 → 14 x 2 → 28 Kara’s shields take the brunt of the blow as she takes 28 points of damage, and she narrowly avoids having her suit directly ruptured.

Phos uses Carnage on Efoh. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier + mods → 18 + 2 + 2 → 22 That is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 4d8 → 3 + 5 + 3 + 8 → 19 Efoh takes 19 points of damage.

Beetle shoots Efoh with the Cold Shoulder. Attack roll. 1d20 + dexterity modifier + mods → 16 + 1 + 4 → 21 This is sufficient to hit.

Damage roll. 2d6 x Tactical Cloak → (2 + 5) x 2 → 7 x 2 → 14 Efoh takes 14 points of damage. His shields blow out.

Movement. Beetle goes to stand by the door.

Kara stands up.

Vasir braces by the door.

Pliyet hacks the door. Technical roll. 1d20 + technical modifier → 7 + 3 → 10 Pliyet fails to hack the door.

Dawn ducks down and hides.

Vekar uses Cryo Blast on Efoh. Attack talent roll. 1d10 → 8

Efoh contest. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 8 + 2 → 10

Efoh is frozen solid and is immobile.

Efoh breaks free of the cryo. Dexterity saving throw. 1d20 + dexterity modifier → 5 + 2 → 7 Efoh fails to break free of the cryo and is immobile.

Phos restrains Efoh. Strength roll. 1d20 + strength modifier → 15 + 4 → 19 Phos successfully restrains Efoh with Space Tape™.

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#session 7 #summary #priority #session #priority: the nova #the dm

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solarwindandcosmicash · 8 years ago

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a summary of #what-power-made-this-possible, the discord server of our dnd campaign.

#mod ultraviolet: how could you not put this on the dnd blog #the dm

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solarwindandcosmicash · 8 years ago

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operation: congratulations, it’s stabby mcwarhammer

Absent: Kate’s player

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The party convinces the crew of the Apricity that a Roomba with a knife and a warhammer taped to it is a good idea. That’s it. No, really.

summary

The goal is simple: convince the crew of the Apricity - and, therefore, the DM - that acquiring a space Roomba and attaching a knife and warhammer to it is a good decision. To do so, the party must speak individually to each crew member, pitch the idea, and persuade them to their side. They have exactly one hour to do so. In order:

Annos tells the party he will back their idea - so long as the rest of the crew is on board with it first. When the party returns to him with full approval, he reluctantly signs off on the idea and gives them the go-ahead.

Telissa agrees without any persuasion, mostly because she thinks it would be hilarious.

Kara agrees without any persuasion; Cat agrees after some persuasion, and Bea and Ann are convinced after the Roomba’s downgrade and upon learning that all quarians were fine with it.

Irène agrees on the condition that the Roomba not be allowed in Engineering or the battery.

Rela agrees to the idea immediately, fondly reminiscing about a similar pet they had on a previous ship she’d served on. Suella is more hesitant, though she is persuaded after the Roomba’s downgrade and upon learning that all quarians on board were fine with it.

Advika agrees without too much persuasion, mostly because she, like Telissa, thinks it would be hilarious. Fawkes sides with her, and Fausius, seeing he is outnumbered, reluctantly agrees as well.

Isolde agrees without hearing the full pitch. In her words, so long as she doesn’t have to pay for it, she doesn’t give a shit.

Aster is highly skeptical and only agrees after the Roomba’s downgrade and upon learning all quarians were fine with the idea. Even then, he is distrustful and dreads the Roomba’s arrival.

Elaye agrees only after Tris negotiates the Roomba’s downgrade from real knife and warhammer to plastic knife and no warhammer, as does Tris herself.

Upon conclusion of the hour, the party had successfully convinced every crewmember on the ship, and a space Roomba would be acquired sometime in the future.

notable lines + interactions

Phos: Anus! What’s up. Annos: That’s not my name. Phos: Wait. I said it wrong again. Annos: You did. Phos: Yep. Beetle: Hey, Assman. Annos: That’s also not my name. Beetle: What is your name, then? You could’ve told us at some point. Annos: Annos. What do you want?

Beetle: It’s a tradition on some turian ships to have a kind of team pet, and then, uh, it’s a space Roomba! DM: Roll deception, because I don’t think that’s a tradition on turian ships.

Annos: Okay... so, a space Roomba. What exactly is a space Roomba? Phos: Well, someone I knew once told me that they’re a low, uh, easy to take care of pet - DM: [disbelieving laughter] Phos: It’s a machine, it doesn’t have AI or anything, it just moves around and apparently it’s very entertaining. Beetle: Yes, yes. Annos: Okay, and why should I - Phos: And it cleans the floor! It cleans the floor.

in discord Vasir: vasir is just standing there with this expression

Vasir: im losing my mind premptively Vasir: @ what the chens are gonna say

Phos: We have this thing we kind of want to play out, uh, like, it’s a machine, but it, uh - Telissa: Uh-huh. Phos: It’s a - it’s a cleaning robot, it’s called a Roomba, it - Beetle: Telissa. Phos: We want to get the rest of the ship on board before we, uh - Beetle: Telissa. Telissa: What, Beetle. What? Beetle: We want to tape a knife to it - Telissa: I’m in. I don’t even know what it is, I’m in. Phos: It’s a robot about ankle high, and it - Telissa: Yes, good. This seems like a good idea. Nothing will - absolutely nothing will go wrong. I’m in.

Beetle: We’re buddies. Telissa: I wasn’t aware we stopped being buddies. Beetle: We continue.

Vasir: I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Beetle: You look like your soul is trying to ascend.

Vasir: Alright, Beetle and Vekar seem to know engineering well enough, so don’t ask me for help to balance a frickin’ warhammer on a tiny robot. Phos: It’ll be fine, it’s - Beetle: How did you know about the warhammer. DM: Oh my god. Vasir: I can guess from how you act. Give me that much credit, Beetle.

Beetle: Let me propose this. Concept: pet. Cat: Doing good. Beetle: Knife. Cat: ... Not... so good? Carry on. Beetle: Cleaning floors. Cleans. Floor. Cat: That’s - that’s not really appealing either way, but. Carry on. Phos: And some VI or something to make it funny. Cat: What are - what’re you suggesting, are you suggesting, like, a cat, or - Beetle: Space Roomba. Cat: A - oh. Like... Stabby?

Kara: Actually, I think this could be kind of good. It’s like training, you get cut if you’re not paying attention. Phos: Oooooh, I like that idea. I like that idea very much. Vasir: Says the krogan with the heavy armor. I see how it is, Phos.

Bea: Who’s in charge of that? Who is on space Roomba duty?

in discord Vekar: is this charades? Vasir: TRYING SO HARD NOT OT BREAK CHARACTER LAUGHING Vasir: im absolutely crying and not surprised Vekar: this is incredible

Phos: Okay. We have - the greatest idea. Beetle: Life-changing. Phos: We have this idea to have this small vacuumer with a knife and a warhammer on it. Think of it like - Beetle: It cleans the floor and improves dodging. Phos: - a cleaning service and exercise. Irène: It seems counter-intuitive to have a vacuum with a knife and a warhammer on it. How would you use it?

Vekar: Don’t worry. Someone will put a cushion on top of the warhammer. DM, under her breath: Oh my god.

Beetle: Maybe the knife can be vertical. Vekar: Let’s just put a plastic knife.

Beetle: Could you sign this paper? DM: Where did you get this - this is the DM asking you, where did you get this paper? Beetle: I don’t fucking know. Vekar: I gave her the orders of teas from back then. DM, laughing in disbelief: Oh my god. Beetle: I got it from Delta’s tea shop.

Beetle: Do you really think I’m going to plan ahead? Think again!

Phos: Take the wheel, Beetle! Beetle: Okay! I’m taking the wheel!

Beetle, OOC: Does Beetle know about Phos screaming earlier? DM: Yes. Everyone knows about Phos screaming earlier. Phos, OOC: Eesh.

Beetle: It will improve [Phos’s] dodging or increase her pain tolerance. Here’s my proposal: a space Roomba. With a knife. Rela: Oh! We used to have those on my old ship that I served on! Except it was a real knife. And you had to step over it. But that’s okay.

Suella: I can’t recommend this course of action. Especially with a crew like this - more likely than not, they’ll be startled and destroy it. [long pause] Phos: Well, we can - Beetle, while Phos is still talking: I’ll kill them. Suella, while Phos is still talking: If you kill them, I have to kill you. That’s just how it goes. Beetle, while Phos is still talking: You know what, that’s fine. I understand. Phos: - put a cushion on the warhammer, or -

Phos: Have you ever seen Annos surprised at all? Suella: Yes. Phos: What?

Beetle: I am willing to place money into an insurance pool for quarian suits. Vasir: Really, Beetle. I am very skeptical of your altruism.

Beetle: I just really want Stabby McWarhammer. I’m not gonna lie.

Beetle: I have a little proposal for you. Advika: That can’t be good. Phos: But listen - it’s fucking great. Advika: Uh-huh. Beetle: Okay, get ready. DM: They are very unimpressed with you. Fausius, especially. Beetle: Um... space Roomba. DM: When you say that, Advika just - she just starts laughing really quietly at first, and it gets progressively louder, and Fawkes just looks despondent, like - oh my god, why. And then Fausius says, uh - Fausius: We had one of those on my old ship, and it was a piece of shit. What model would you be getting, if you actually do this? Vasir: I don’t think they fought that far. Vekar: They thought about weaponizing it with a knife and a warhammer, so probably a good one? Fausius: I didn’t even know they could carry a warhammer. Those things are heavy. Beetle: We’re going to find out. It’s a scientific expedition.

Fausius: First of all, we have stairs. So, what, you’re just gonna - plant it somewhere? Vekar: We’re going to give it jetpacks. Fausius: You’re absolutely not going to give it jetpacks. Vasir: Vekar, the day a Roomba gets a jetpack before me is the day I’ll shoot you. Shut up. That’s a terrible idea. Vekar: Fuck, okay, we’ll get you a jetpack and then the Roomba a jetpack, then. Vasir: That sounds better.

Advika: As long as it doesn’t get into maintenance, I am perfectly cool with this. Fausius: You know that if it damages anything, not just maintenance, you and Fawkes will have to fix it. Advika: Yeah? So what?

Phos: Gotta uphold that turian tradition! Fausius: It’s a shitty tradition, but - sure.

Advika: Yeah, you guys can stop talking to us now. Off you go. Phos: Yeah, sure, okay. Advika: Bye. Beetle: Bye. I see how it is.

DM: So I can do two separate conversations, one at a time - Vasir, OOC: You don’t have to, [DM]. You can just say I’m talking to Aster. DM: Cool! Let’s say you have a very intellectual and enlightening conversation about star charts. Beetle: Nice - DM: Phos and Beetle, what’re you up to? Phos, OOC: And Vekar. Don’t exclude Vekar, he’s been doing shenanigans - DM: I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, Vekar hasn’t been talking much, that was my bad, I’m so sorry, [Vekar’s player]. Vekar, OOC: It’s fine. DM: What are Vekar, Phos, and Beetle up to?

Beetle: So... have you heard of space Roombas? Isolde, after a long pause: No, but I’m intrigued by the way you said that. Beetle: Yes. Good. You’ve heard of - Phos: Imagine: a tiny cleaner, with a knife. Beetle: Yes. Mm-hm. Isolde: As long as I’m not paying for it, I don’t give a shit.

DM: So, like, with one hand Isolde is signing the petition, and with the other she’s giving you a high five, Phos. Phos: Yes.

Beetle: Thank you for your signature. Pleasure doing business, question mark? Isolde: Oh, if we’re doing business - I should’ve asked you pay me, then. Go on. Beetle: Dang it. I should’ve asked you to pay me first. Power move. Isolde: Uh-huh.

Beetle: Hey, Aster. Aster: Yes, Beetle? Beetle: So, uh, I’ve been looking at some space Roombas lately. Some good vacuum boys. Aster, exasperated: Of course you have. Vasir: That’s how I feel, Aster.

Aster: Well, I’m sure, but are you going to figure it out before you break it? Beetle: I’m sure there’s someone on this team with high Mechanical, so. DM, under her breath: Oh my god.

Aster: So just to be clear - you’ve run this by Annos, and you’re going to tape a real fucking knife to this thing, and a real fucking warhammer. Beetle, slowly: Yeesssss. Aster: You realize we have stairs, right?

Aster: You better have a very good argument to back this up. Beetle: Uh, yes, I’ll have a very good argument to back this up iiiiiiin a few minutes. Aster: Take your time.

Aster: I don’t want to deal with a fucking space Roomba clawing at my ankles all the time.

Beetle: We tape a gun to it. Aster: Hey, that’s a really bad idea. This conversation is over. Beetle: No! It’s not even loaded! Aster: Nope, sorry, conversation over, go talk to someone else. Party: [long pause, then hysterical laughter for seven seconds]

in discord Vekar: well things took a turn for the weird

Beetle: I’ve run out of pitches for this thing.

Beetle: And if anyone gets into the ship, it’ll take ‘em by surprise! Elaye: I don’t think anyone would be taken by surprise by a fucking space Roomba with a knife taped to it. - Sure, whatever. As long as it doesn’t get into the helm, I don’t give a shit.

Phos: What is it about this that doesn’t appeal to you? Tris: Hm, I don’t know, maybe a fucking robot with a knife at ankle level that can sneak up on me or something like that and cut my suit open or something? No.

Phos: What about a warhammer? Tris: Ahaha! No. Beetle: What about a gun? Tris: Why the hell would you put a gun on a space Roomba? That’s a waste of a good gun. Beetle: Yeah, that’s true. Phos, OOC: I can’t breathe. God. What is this even?

Phos: What if I said all the quarians had signed off on this? Aster: I’m going to need to hear a hard yes from Vasir before I do anything. Vasir: Oh, keelah.

Vasir: I’m honestly surprised you even did that. Phos: [defensive rambling about the Roomba] Beetle: Vasir, you are a valued member of this team and we respect you - Phos: [more defensive rambling about the Roomba]

Vasir, OOC: Vasir just kind of stares at the floor and mutters under their breath quietly. Phos: Oh, dear.

Phos, OOC: I try to high-five Vasir. Are they feeling it? Vasir, OOC: Vasir returns it with the least amount of enthusiasm possible. Beetle, OOC: Beetle dabs.

Beetle: Vasir. Want to sign my petition? Vasir, sounding dead inside: My verbal approval isn’t enough for you people, apparently. Beetle: [laughter] DM: You also haven’t signed this petition, Beetle, Phos, or Vekar, so I don’t know what you’re doing here. Beetle, OOC: Oh, crap, you’re right. Beetle signs the petition. Phos, OOC: Phos signs the petition. Vasir: Clearly none of you have ever done paperwork.

DM: You guys go to the lower deck, uh, and you go to Engineering, and Cat’s like - Cat, singsong: Oh, look, they’re back for more! DM: And Bea just kind of like, groans.

Beetle: Stabby McWarhammer has been nerfed! Chen: That’s good. To what? Beetle: To plastic knife and no warhammer. Chen: Alright, that’s cool with me. Kara: Aw, are you serious? That’s not even a threat anymore! Beetle: I know, right? Phos: It’s still a surprise. Kara: There’s a cat in Engineering, I - okay, whatever. Phos: What if the cat rides on the Roomba? Cat: I would take so many pictures.

DM: Annos sees you coming, and he sees the paper in your hands, and you can just see him go like, “Oh, god,” uh, just like, visually in his face. What do you do?

Phos: We made some compromises, uh, we - Beetle: We made some political promises. Annos: So that means you’re not going to keep them, is that what I’m hearing? Beetle: No, we’re gonna keep them. Phos: We’re gonna keep them.

Annos: Okay, then I guess we’re getting a fucking space Roomba. DM: And he kind of looks off into the distance, like, “What has my life become?” Phos: To be honest, every person in this group is probably asking themselves that every five seconds. Vasir: [laughter]

Beetle: One IOU for a favor. Annos: Sure. Favors are always good.

technical notes

The DM starts a timer. Sixty minutes and counting.

Beetle convinces Annos it’s a turian tradition to have pets on ships. Deception roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier → 17 + 1 → 18 Annos is still a little leery of whether that knowledge is true or not, but accepts it, at least for now.

Phos and Beetle persuade Annos to let them acquire a Roomba. Persuasion roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier. Phos → 13, Beetle → 15

Annos contests. 1d20 + knowledge modifier → 12 + 2 → 14

Annos agrees to allow a Roomba on the condition that Fausius, who is apparently in charge of cleaning, gives the go-ahead.

Telissa agrees that a space Roomba is a good idea. (1/16)

Phos and Beetle persuade the Chens that a Roomba is a good idea. Persuasion roll. 3d20 + knowledge modifier → 12 + 0 → 12, 20 + 1 → 21, 12 + 1 → 13 Cat is convinced. Bea and Ann are not.

Cat and Kara agree that a space Roomba is a good idea. (3/16)

Irène agrees that a space Roomba is a good idea. (4/16)

Rela agrees that a space Roomba is a good idea. (5/16)

Advika, Fawkes, and Fausius agree that a space Roomba is a good idea. (8/16)

Isolde agrees that a space Roomba is a good idea. (9/16)

Phos, Vekar, and Beetle convince Aster that Annos is on board with having a Roomba. Deception roll. 1d20 + knowledge modifier. Vekar → 22, Phos → 16, Beetle → 9

Aster contests. 1d20 + knowledge modifier → 19 + 4 → 23

Aster doesn’t believe the three of them for a second.

The party downgrades Stabby from a real knife to a plastic one. “If there’s a warhammer, I’m literally going to shoot it.” - Tris’Coeur

Elaye and Tris agree that a space Roomba is a good idea. (11/16)

Aster clarifies that the party has downgraded the space Roomba’s weaponry. “To be clear, you will put nothing on this Roomba except a plastic knife.” - Aster

Aster agrees that a space Roomba is a good idea. (12/16)

Suella agrees the space Roomba is a good idea. (13/16)

Ann and Bea agree the space Roomba is a good idea. (15/16)

Annos agrees the space Roomba is a good idea. (16/16)

The DM stops the timer. Two minutes and forty-one seconds remaining. Not bad, team crithit.

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#operation #summary #session 7 #operation: congratulations it's stabby mcwarhammer #the dm

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