soliyl

[soliyl]

the biggest thing ive ever drawn for artfight! ive always wanted to take a crack at that one poly meme and Chary's characters were perfect for it ♥

[soliyl]

sketchy, but.... pink!

a lil revenge attack that was for @spectreal / aximili ♥

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blep!

a revenge attack that was for @zalazzlearts / catboyzoomies ♥

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just a cute reaper and her cute voidsent ♥

a friendly fire revenge attack that was for @mages-ballad / vally_

[soliyl]

last year i went to an art party in xiv and did some of my favorite sketches thus far

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in the art fight of 2022, i only managed to finish two pieces, but i was really proud of them!

the first image, the characters are owned by @/rjlae / Lvaunt and in the second image, the characters are owned by Inezart (zenisketches on instagram)

[soliyl]

before the 2022 art fight i made a new reference for my wol nylos bc i HATE the one i had before that. this one is ok i guess... it's wordy but it gets the info across

[soliyl]

me, 4 months ago: oh yeah ive been drawing i'll post my stuff tomorrow!

4 months later

me:

me: ffs

[soliyl]

getting refs ready for artfight should be like Honored by holy forces or whatever People who get their refs ready like months in advance should be fed bunches of grapes on fancy couches Because the pain of making so many refs is so Spirit Hauntigful

[soliyl]

im going to be closing my comms indefinitely

in the past year, ive drawn about five times (forgot to post them here lol, i will tomorrow). this isn’t super uncommon, ive been pretty bad about drawing consistently for awhile now. i think a big part of the problem is the fact that ive had comms open. i first opened them in 2016 (jfc) and ive steadily drawn less and less frequently since then.

even though literally no one ever commed me (besides a couple friends, and in 7 years... sheesh), just having them open put me in this mindset toward my art. it had to be “marketable.” it had to be good enough for someone to see and say “i want to spend money and get something similar.” i haven’t drawn something just to draw in a really long time. everything i make, it has to be to a certain standard. it has to be worth something.

it stopped being fun. i stopped drawing for fun.

im like, in desperate need of money, too. im in a really bad spot in my life and doing comms for some cash would be great. but when i think about it, i don’t even want to do comms. if someone genuinely tried to commission me rn i would not enjoy it, even if their request is fine. i hate the idea of forcing myself to monetize what used to be a hobby. i hate the idea of anxiously working on it and being unsure if im making it worth the customer’s dollar. i seriously just want to like art again. i want to sketch again, fuck’s sake. i literally don’t sketch anymore, i try to make a polished product right away every time.

the decline in art frequency became more steep when i started posting on twitter, too. posting on multiple platforms, desperately trying to get attention. spending hours and hours on each piece and only getting a few likes here and there. disappointed the algorithm didn’t favor me, disappointed in my art for not being good enough to catch the appreciation i craved.

im going to go back to using tumblr as an archive for my art. i’ll keep tossing it up on twitter, too, just because i participate in xiv art parties sometimes. but im done trying to market myself. i don’t want to claw my way past other people all screaming “look at me!” and also be saying “please look at me.” from now on im just going to draw when i feel like it. if it sucks, that’s fine, who cares? im not trying to sell myself anymore.

[soliyl]

happy valentine's day ❤️💙

[soliyl]

Don't leave me lost here forever, I need your starlight to pull me through, Bring me back to you~ 🌟

[soliyl]

Suddenly all the sadness Will just slip away And you will see what I mean If you just follow me in my dreams! 🌠

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...hmmm

here's some memes that have come out from doing savage content with my pals, tag yourself lol

[soliyl]

kicking off the new year with a new drawing game i’m starting 😤 gonna be capturing random WoLs based off of secret criteria

[soliyl]

rough sketch of my wol and azem lol

[soliyl]

is this blog dead

nope lol i just don't draw that often unless someone gives me a reason to tbh! i frequently forget to post when i do also so i always end up posting like 3-4 things at once