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posting this here cause i dont wanna be socially destroyed
i really dont think mass testing will do anything for the ph tbh. if anything, its gonna make things worse. knowing how many people have the virus doesnt change the fact na we cant accomodate all of them. protocols can be adopted without having to do mass testing.
when we do start mas testing, people are just gonna panic. they wont think na 'finally we're being tested' what people will see are numbers. they're gonna see the number go higher than before and think that its getting worse. people are gonna discriminate against areas that have high cases and more extreme measures like roads being blocked by residents will happen. then people will be scared to be tested because people will get mad at them. tension will be at an all time high and its going to be harder to deal with people because they're panicking. areas with low cases on the other hand will be complacent. they wont follow protocols and the virus will probably flare up in their area.
well at least that's my prediction. probably thinking too negatively but i think that people aren't grounding their thoughts much in reality?
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as the raindrops gently caress the earth, i wish the world would treat us with kindness tomorrow
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today is just like any other day. woke up late, ate brunch and retreated back to my room - an extremely ordinary day. then my mind just decides to wander back to the memory of you and im just feel like crying. but i dont have the right to cry about you and i dont have anyone to talk to. everyone just tells me to forget about it or dont think about it. i dont know what to do with these feelings that no one wants to acknowledge. i dont know what people think these feelings are. i've been burying your memory deep down and whenever it comes back up it's painful. it's unbearable. i can't begin to understand what exactly i'm feeling because as soon as i bring it up i have to dismiss it. everyone else did. are my feelings dirty? are they wrong? am i a bad person? i just want to talk. i just want someone to listen. but no one will. i'll just bury these thoughts again.
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playing all these ruralite ig games are triggering my repressed hs memories HAHAHAHA can i please just forget that whole chapter of my life? 😂 or at least forgive myself? pero mas madali yung forget
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this quarantine is giving me too much time to think and i feel sorry for my bf who has to deal with me ︶︿︶
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retreating back to tumblr because ive started being active in twitter again and i dont want people to see the extent of my depression
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i guess some people are just meant to be loved and i have to live with the fact that im not one of them
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i've just been feeling unbearably lonely lately. i need to drink or to disappear.
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i thought i was doing okay but it seems like even i dont understand how i am anymore. i just feel so lonely and i just disappear. i dont want to feel alone anymore.
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i really need some place to vent so here i am. for the past month ive been doing really well. waking up early, doing chores, helping around the house - just a basic day to day routine. but lately ive started spiralling down. im waking up later, taking more naps, eating less, ignoring errands and just being really lazy. i think what happened is finally sinking in. i cant put off these feelings anymore and im starting to be less numb. ive finally gotten to the point where i just wanna break down and scream. my mood is going downhill really fast and im scared. im scared of how much pain ill be feeling after ignoring it for weeks. i want to isolate myself from everybody and just breakdown. i just want to hide away again but my safe haven is gone. i dont know what to do. i dont want to explore these feelings. i want them to go away.
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god i miss you but i told myself that i should wait and give it time maybe then we could be friends again?
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i miss you so much but theres no one i can talk to about you. it just breaks my heart to realize that im not a part of your life anymore. i cant help wanting to see you or talk to you even now and i just feel so desperate. i wanna be selfish but i dont want to hurt you anymore than i have. im sorry.
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please. please. save me from myself. i don't know what to do with myself anymore.
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