some-guy-named-john

[some-guy-named-john]

[some-guy-named-john]

[some-guy-named-john]

I have seen a lot of JD Vance killing the pope jokes and would like to propose my definitely more likely alternative:

The pope was already dead, but none of the cardinals wanted to have to meet with Vance themselves, so they just did a Weekend at Bernie's and then announced the death later.

[some-guy-named-john]

so what do we think

[some-guy-named-john]

[some-guy-named-john]

How it feels to reread the first Animorphs book as an adult

[some-guy-named-john]

so i hear tumblr's dying and this moby dick meme idea has lived in my head for literal years...

[some-guy-named-john]

I'm a simple bitch. i believe the purpose of government should be to improve the lives of its citizens and protect its most vulnerable members. unfortunately i live in a day and age where this gets me labeled an enemy of the state

[some-guy-named-john]

Since its that time of year again I want to talk about my favourite #easter movie: Dracula 2000. To answer your questions: No, its not 'technically' set during Easter and No, its not a good film at all but I enjoy it ironically.

Dracula 2000 was a Nu Metal reinterpretation of Bram Stoker's classic. It stars young hot Gerard Butler and a heap of people you might recognise from other late 90s/early 2000s stuff. Jonny Lee Miller, Omar Epps, Jeri Ryan, Jennifer Esposito, Nathan Fillion, and unfortunately Danny Masterton.

The only thing that makes it worth mentioning (and an Easter movie) is the most bugfuck insane addition to the Dracula story. The big twist that Dracula is actually Judas Iscariot, cursed to wander the earth as punishment for betraying Jesus. With dope vampire powers for some reason.

This is an actual screenshot from the film showing Calvary Hill. They also show The Last Supper, the 30 pieces of silver etc.

Do they explore any of the thematic, historical, or religious implications of this? No. Not all all. Its revealed, out of nowhere, 5 minutes before Dracula dies.

Be a pretty bad film that is so Edgy Teenage Me coded that I can't completely hate it. Drop the most insane Dracula Twist imaginable. Refuse to elaborate. Kill Dracula. Play One Step Closer by Linkin Park over the end credits. What a trash pile of a movie. Love it. Best Easter film.

[some-guy-named-john]

[some-guy-named-john]

I've seen people online complaining that Alexander Skarsgard isn't good casting as Murderbot. I'll agree, he's not exactly suited for how Murderbot (the very flawed narrator) expresses itself, but Alexander Skarsgard is EXACTLY what an evil future corp would think a Security Unit should look like.

Murderbot's outsides do not match what it feels inside, that's a repeated part of the books. It's a corporate killing machine slowly finding it's humanity and building community. This makes the guy who is stereotyped as 'Manly Viking Warrior' fantastic casting.

[some-guy-named-john]

Netflix Devil May Cry Anime episodes 1-5: Hella Fun trash TV. Nu-Metal soundtrack, Pro-Wrestler Cameo, full of swearing and schlocky violence. Same vibes as an energy drink. Netflix Devil May Cry Anime episode 6: Experimental, beautiful, haunting, tragic. Absolute gut-punch out of nowhere.

Netflix Devil May Cry episodes 7-8: What, serious, me? Hahaha no, I would never. Twice as many nu-metal songs, twice as much gratuitous violence. Here, have the most insane set up for season two imaginable.

[some-guy-named-john]

If there's one Wrestling spot that will always pop me, its the Surprise-Kick-to-the-face-from-off-camera

Watch for the shooooooe!

[some-guy-named-john]

[some-guy-named-john]

[some-guy-named-john]

There are many benefits to being a marine biologist