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Regular day on the job

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One of my roommates is from China and neither of us speaks the other’s language but lately when she’s in a chatty mood she comes into our kitchen and shows me these douyin Matt Damon x Ben Affleck RPF videos and puts her theories about how Ben has been pining for Matt into google translate for me to read. fujoing out transcends language barriers

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Walter White voice jesse. You have to listen to me. What would I possibly have to gain from lying about my intentions as supreme chancellor. You sound so ridiculous right now. I only know about the sith legend because someone told it to me, okay? I need you to do this for me, can you, jesse? Do It. Kill him.

Jesse about to kill dooku voice yo Mr White somethin about this just don’t feel right

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ok time to lock the fuck in *opens discord* ok time to lock the fuck in *opens tumblr* ok time to lock the fuck in *opens gmail* ok time to lock the fuck in *opens youtube* ok time to lock the fuck in *opens an unstable vortex in time and space* ok time to lock the fuck in *opens ao3* ok time to lock the fuck in *opens discord* ok time to lock the fuck in *opens tumblr*

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I Do Not Control the Speed at Which Lobster Die 🦞

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i dont like it when the task avoidance gets to the scary part

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for every 29 year old saying they shouldve remastered morrowind instead theres a 42 year old saying the same shit about daggerfall and a 60 million year old saying i miss my dinosaur

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american maid cafe review

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do not. Sell my husband twelve fascinating issues of Zoobooks and the Tiger Poster.

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kind of weird how parts of your soul are left in various locations without any warning… like yes i’m always at the top of that hill, sitting at the bus stop, in the cool light of the Japanese restaurant, standing at the pier etc etc

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Suggested Alternatives to the One China Policy

Currently, the policy of the United States on the Taiwan question is that the US recognizes that polities on both sides of the Taiwan Strait hold that there is only one China and that Taiwan is part of China. In the current tense international climate, it may be useful to considers alternatives to that policy.

Two Chinas Policy: The United States recognizes the independence of Taiwan as a sovereign state, separate from the People's Republic of China.

Three Chinas Policy: The US recognizes Taiwan, Hong Kong, and the mainland as independent states.

Four Chinas Policy: The US recognizes Taiwan, Hong Kong, Macau, and the mainland as independent states.

One China Policy (Retro 1978): The US switches its diplomatic recognition back from the PRC to the ROC.

One China Policy (Retro 1911): The US recognizes the Qing Dynasty as the legitimate government of China and finds some schmuck to play Emperor-in-Exile.

Many Chinas Policy: The US recognizes the sovereign independence of every Chinese province.

Too Many Chinas Policy: Hong Kong makes a perfectly fine city-state, so why not let everyone do that? The US recognizes every Chinese municipality as its own independent state.

1436506450 Chinas Policy: The US recognizes the sovereign independence of every Chinese person.

2^1436506450 Chinas Policy: The US recognizes the sovereign independence of every subset of of the set of all Chinese persons.

2^1436506450-1 Chinas Policy: Same as above, but not including the empty set, because that doesn't even make sense because it's already claimed by Germany.

Infinite Chinas Policy (Countable): The US recognizes that (1) The PRC is a China and (2) for every China c, the successor S(c) is also a China, and (3) for every China c, c != S(c).

Infinite Chinas Policy (Uncountable): The US recognizes that the set C of all Chinas is an ordered field, and that every non-empty subset of C with an upper bound in C has a least upper bound in C.

No Chinas Policy: The United States embraces mereological nihilism and recognizes only atoms and the void.

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Valeria Luiselli, Tell Me How It Ends: An Essay in Forty Questions

[ID: There are things that can only be understood retrospectively, when many years have passed and the story has ended. In the meantime, while the story continues, the only thing to do is tell it over and over again as it develops, bifurcates, knots around itself. And it must be told, because before anything can be understood, it has to be narrated many times, in many different words and from many different angles, by many different minds.]

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My favorite art is first sentences of scientific papers, I love reading sentences like "movement is of integral importance to animals" or "snow has long been recognised for its ecological importance" fuck yes so truee

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people should NOT be allowed to say they met their partner online when they used a dating site or app. if you say "we met online 🥰" i expect to hear that you got into an argument in a homestuck fanfic comment section and fell in love. that you met in a furry discord server and got married. not that you swiped on tinder until you met fucking josh who lived 3 miles away.