son-of-dracula-flow

[son-of-dracula-flow]

My undead thrall got into the DMT and started a zombie apocalypse. They’re already saying it’s a hoax on the news, you’re done for.

[son-of-dracula-flow]

A time traveling op wants to alter my causality.

He doesn’t know I only exist in present time.

His ass ‘ll forget who I am and never see me again.

I’m the only one actually traveling through time the rest of you are fucking falling through it. Smeared on it

[son-of-dracula-flow]

Every so-often, I remove a year from human history to cool their shit down and hide my presence.

[son-of-dracula-flow]

First time I shit in a thousand years and it had to be at my dealer’s apartment on Salvia. There were no survivors.

[son-of-dracula-flow]

Somehow DoorDash always knows exactly which delivery driver I want sent to the rift.

[son-of-dracula-flow]

Blamed the Cambrian Explosion on DEI and got off scot-free. Now y’all have to pay taxes. News flash, that money goes straight to me.

[son-of-dracula-flow]

Gettin’ bomb head while I reverse the flow of time so I could write your area code on the Declaration of Independence in invisible ink. Be glad it’s not your SSN.

[son-of-dracula-flow]

I got ops on other planets. If I ever see them again, I’m making last contact, don’t play with me. You are alone in the universe.

[son-of-dracula-flow]

Got head so electric my skeleton started showing. Bells started ringing. Ravens flocked near. Call that a grimjob

[son-of-dracula-flow]

Did so much Ketamine I entered a flow state. Woke up wearing the skin of a suburban father. Don’t know who he was, but I fucked his wife before I left. This shit ain’t nothing to me man.

[son-of-dracula-flow]

I got the 4th-dimensional Sword of Damocles above my head at all times. I still couldn’t give a fuck.

[son-of-dracula-flow]

Chain so cold and so heavy it feels like Chinese water torture on my chest every time I walk more than 12 paces.

[son-of-dracula-flow]

Ops attempt to ascertain my location. Did a bump, now my whereabouts is all they know. They can’t even speak anymore. And thank god, cause they were annoying as fuck. Don’t cross me I’ll turn yer ass geriatric.

[son-of-dracula-flow]

Doc told me I was autistic, so I smoked all the air out of his lungs and stole his abilities. Call that high-functioning

[son-of-dracula-flow]

I am the leading cause of child mortality. Rolling cigs in the maternity ward and handing them out. This is a cry for help.

[son-of-dracula-flow]

Got called “King of Kings” at a gas station call that gender affirming care. I’m moving like Ozymandias. Hop on this dick, ye mighty, and despair. This shit ain’t nothing to me, man.

[son-of-dracula-flow]

Some of you fuckboys have never needed speech therapy and it shows. Motherfucker didn’t know the difference between stutter and stammer. Gave his ass diarrhea and constipation at the same time and told him to work it out.