sonch - Tumblr blog

[sonch]

hey girl sorry um. we stabbed your boyfriend in the senate house. yeah a seer told him to beware the ides of march but he didn't listen. brutus and cassius got him. i'm so sorry

[sonch]

I came up with a new saying:

"You wouldn't bake a cat just because it jumped into the oven."

It means that just having a really, really good opportunity to do something awful is not an excuse to do it. That it isn't enough that you never go out of your way to do evil, you're also supposed to go out of your way to do the right thing, even in situations where the wrong thing to do would be extremely easy and profitable, and passively allowing it to happen would be easier than going out of your way to do better than that.

[sonch]

idk why but i feel like being a punk is for he/hims and doing ballet is for she/hers

[sonch]

one of the most awesome days I spent online in my life was the day tumblr got polls and the first thing we did was a bug race. that was incredible. I miss shit like this every day.

[sonch]

my boyfriend who is REALLY into russian literature broke up with me last week so I guess he made his choice

torn between getting a girlfriend and getting really into russian literature. i feel like the two are mutually exclusive somehow

[sonch]

[sonch]

asking for advice on reddit.com

[sonch]

Twitter is toxic in the same way a chemical wasteland is toxic.

Tiktok is toxic in the same way a relationship is toxic.

Reddit is toxic in the same way Bananas are toxic. Mostly fine, but if you go too far you die.

Tumblr is toxic in the same way I'm toxic I'm sipping on the taste of your poison paradise, I'm addicted to you don't you know that your toxic.

[sonch]

the hierarchy of compliments goes like this:

drunk girls in the bathroom complimenting your outfit

little kids complimenting literally anything about u

little old ladies at the checkout till

librarians on your reading choices

[sonch]

i started doing things scared and doing things alone years ago the real challenge is doing things tired

[sonch]

when I was around twelve I used to sit at the family computer and send hatemail to a white french dude named Jacques who was a self proclaimed communist on Tumblr. This was back in the day when you didn't need a blog to send anon hate. I had no real beef with him but I just didn't like his tone. used to send him "SHUT UP Jacques" periodically. and he'd answer every single one of my asks like "who is this?? show your face or I'll fucking kill you" and I'd be like "now now, that doesn't make sense, jacques" all haughty and he'd get so fucking mad at me. One time he posted a selfie and I sent him an ask claiming I was a psychologist and that his hair parting suggested that he wasn't a communist at all. and he took it deliriously serious and went off on a 2,000 word rant. I can remember going to stay at my grandparents over that weekend, so I didn't even respond to the rant until I came back. I could've chosen to end it there, but when I returned, I sent him another ask which was like "psychologist here again: if you were a communist your hair parting would be in the middle. evenly distributed. All behavioural signs point to someone who doesn't take their own values seriously." and he went ballistic. really swearing at me. all caps type beat. he never turned the asks off, btw. which always made me wonder if he didn't know how to, or if he didn't want to cause he was convinced he was fighting a war, and this action would ensure he lost it. anyway this went on for weeks until one day I completely forgot about him like he was some kind of childhood imaginary friend I'd conjured up in my loneliness. but yesterday I happened to recall the whole scenario, because my buddy was like "remember when you were twelve and I came over to your house, and you showed me on the computer how you'd been terrorizing this random French guy for days on end. And you were laughing like fucking crazy. and I said it wasn't funny because he probably had problems, and you were like 'oh.' and you looked a bit guilty for a second, but then you went and got a grapefruit from the kitchen and threw it out of the second story window at my kid brother, who was playing in the street, and then you started laughing again?" Well. when she put it like that, needless to say I felt bad. so Jacques if you're out there I'm sorry I was such a little shit. you had totally normal hair, and you only wanted people to share stuff. If it's any consolation I know every day of my life that I'm probably going to hell for the sick things I have done

[sonch]

merry crisis everyone

And a happy new fear

[sonch]

It’s been 5 years since I got this card from a hibachi chef

[sonch]

[sonch]

[sonch]

REBLOG IF YOU'VE TOUCHED A BOOB

[sonch]

straight women need to start fetishising sapphic women so there can be more femslash fan fiction. we gotta outsource and get more writers on board. I want it to get to the point where two women cant be on screen together without having a 80k space opera fic written about them. I want show runners to be scared of cancelling sapphic shows because legions and legions of fans will come after them. dont tell me my priorities are wrong.