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soniyariddle · 3 years ago

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Thinking about Simon being Wille's first kiss and Simon knowing about it when they're in their “broken up and trying to be friends but it's not really working because we accidentally flirt and I’m pretty sure if you kissed me, I’ll kiss you back” stage.

Coming back from the Christmas break started with them attempting to avoid each other, which lasted for about two weeks. Slowly they ended up in the same circle of friends, which led them to be in each other's orbits more and more.

Wilhelm left it to Simon to set the pace and space. His own part was to set it in stone that he’s taking his “we can’t be seen together” back. Gradually, awkward silence and turn away, shifted into easy ‘friendship’ where Wille would wait by Simon’s locker and walk him to class, where Simon would save Wille a seat and wait for him as he peels a satsuma for them to share.

So it is no surprise when Wille makes a beeline just to sit beside Simon at the movie night, not paying attention to what anyone might think and assume. Only focusing on the blush spreading across Simon’s cheeks and the smile he seems to try to hide by brushing the edge of his nose.

The plot of the movie goes totally over Wille’s head, his mind preoccupied with thoughts revolving around Simon's hand and ways he could reach out and touch. It’s right there, so inviting. However the only action he gets is Simon asking if he can take a sip of his water, their hands briefly touch when he hands the other his water bottle and if Wille spends half of the moving giddy over the indirect kiss, no one has to know.

Maybe he isn’t as slick as he thinks when he asks Simon if he can pass him the throw pillow beside him just so their hands touch again, because Felice snorts and whispers, “you're gonna thank me later.” before rushing out of the room, not leaving him a moment to react.

There are two bowls of popcorn in her hands when she comes back and once she’s seated back besides him, she hands him one, while she places the other between her and Maddie, then looks at him, daring him to do the same.

Wille ignores the smirk on her face after he follows her order.

He makes a mental note to thank her, his hand pumps into Simon’s many times throughout the movie and there’s a hint of Smile on Simon's face every time.

As the ending credits roll, a second year student turns on the lights while another eagerly suggests they play a game, someone agrees and requests they play truth or dare, but many dismiss the idea. “Grow up,” a third year student says, before proceeding to criticize the movie.

The ones who are in favor start to form a circle and picker about adding rules to “spice it up”. Simon appears hesitant and Wilhelm gets it, when everyone knows, you and the crown prince had a thing, but the said prince denied it in front of the whole world, playing a game with the word truth might not be the wisest decision.

Wille grimaces, watching Madison across from him leave Simon no choice as she tugs him down besides her. For solidarity he joins in.

On round seven, it's Stella's turn to spin the bottle. Every eye follows the movement in anticipation. The bottle slows till it lands on Wilhelm and that draws the attention of the students who rolled their eyes at the game and instead sat in their own corners. One of those people is August.

“Truth or dare, Wilhelm,” Stella beams.

She’s Felice’s friend. She’s a safe person. Whatever you pick won’t start a controversy. Wille reminds himself.

“Truth,” he decides and fleetingly glances at Simon whose eyes are focused on the water bottle in his clutch.

The question is quick to leave her lips as if it has been the topic of her gossip for a while now. "How old were you when you had your first kiss?"

He could easily just down that shot of the nastiest syrup Walter could find (their only way to dodge whatever got thrown at them) but he glances in Simon direction to catch him already gazing, seemingly curious. Wille offers him a shy smile, then averts his gaze and leans over to spin the bottle. "16. On the last movie night.”

The last information was unprovoked, no one needs to know that detail. But here’s the thing, he regrets denying his involvement in the tape and since he can’t take it back yet, his plan is to drop many hints that it was him even if almost everyone at the school already knows it, but Wille wants to be the one to show and say it. Simon deserves that and much more. He’ll hug him, he’ll choose over and over again to be by his side even if there’s a forced limit to it. Wille hopes everyone in the room puts two and two together and figure out that their prince's first kiss was with the non res choir's boy.

Though he's thankful that almost everyone hide their reactions. He has to do the same when a guy in their year dares Simon to let him wear his hoodie for the rest of the night.

When the game is over and everyone now knows a little too much about the other, Simon is the first to break away from the group with a tired smile on his face. As he turns towards the door, Madison is quick to stop him. “Wait, wait. In a bit, few of us first years will watch another movie, you should join. It’s a demand really, I need to know you a lot better before I whisk you away to America with me and it’s not another over the top action packed movie. It’s a romantic one, you know about love conquers all and all that good stuff.”

Simon’s eyes find him from over Maddie’s shoulder.

Yeah. It’s not just Felice.

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Impatiently, Wille waits for a few minutes before he scrambles to his feet and darts out of the room after Simon.

When he finds him, Simon is sitting on the windowsill where they first kissed, one foot tucked underneath him while the other is dangling high off the ground and his attention is on his phone, unaware of Wille’s presence.

A wave of affection washes over him at the sheer existence of the boy in front of him and the memory of their first kiss. Wille rolls his lips inward to resist a smile in hopes of not showing that he's thinking about Simon's bravery to kiss him once, twice and how long the third lasted and how it felt to pull back and see that his hands wandered to cup Simon's face, while Simon's hands rested on his thighs.

He knocks on the wall, prompting Simon to look up and smile. Wille awkwardly waves and mumbles a hi and When he's close enough, he climbs next to Simon and sits sideways with his back against the wall.

“You're okay?”

“Yeah. Just texted my mom that I’ll be late,” Simon answers, Sliding his phone back in his pocket. “Did you know about the plans?”

“Not really."

“You know what they’re trying to do, right?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I know Maddie can be pushy, but you don’t have to stay.”

“I know. Also it’s not your fault,” Simon assures, mirroring his posture on the other side, but instead of crossing his legs he spreads one in front of him and nudges Wille’s thigh with his foot. “So I was your first kiss.”

Wille nods, his cheeks warmer than a second ago.

Simon smirks, gaze directed towards the open window.

“What?”

“Nothing, I know I’m all fuck the monarcy and all, but it’s feeding my ego that I was the prince’s first kiss,” Simon answers and Wille can hear the laughter he’s trying to contain.

“You know what, you deserve this moment. I’m not gonna complain.”

“Thank you very much, your highness,” Simon teases.

Silence sinks in for a brief moment, until Simon shivers and moves to close the window. “Can it be May already?”

Wille doesn’t think of it at all, instantly takes off his Hillerska hoodie and offers it to Simon.

“And now you’ll be cold.”

“At least I’m wearing long sleeves underneath,” Wille reasons and gestures for Simon to take the hoodie from his hands.

Simon mutters a thanks and takes it. Wille swears he sees a blush on Simon’s cheeks, but maybe it's just the cold.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to fight to get my hoodie back,” Simon jokes, slipping the sweater over his head. “He seems to be enjoying it a little too much.”

“Think he has a crush on you?” Wille tries to seem nonchalant, like it doesn’t matter at all that some random classmate wore Simon’s hoodie before him, like one of the possible answers Simon will give him wont hurt him.

“God, I hope not. I'm not interested whatsoever,” Simon replies and whatever nonchalance Wille was aiming to convey is gone at the not so subtle sigh of relief that escapes his mouth.

Simon is kind enough to not comment.

“So, was it a good first kiss?” Simon asks, tugging on the sleeve of the gray sweater.

Wille doesn't shy away from displaying his smile in the open and when he tilts his head back against the wall, the smile doesn't waver at all and if Simon can see the blissful look all over his place, that's the plan. “It was nice.”

“Really?” Simon asks, disbelief coats his tone and confuses Wille.

“Hold on, It wasn't for you?” Wille asks, almost offended.

“Wille,” Simon giggles, nudging his thigh once more. “After I kissed you the first time, you barely had a reaction and I still kissed you again somehow, what does that say to you?”

"Okay," Wille starts to beam, “and I pulled you for more…”

“Okay it's settled then, it was good.”

Wille bites on his lip. “What about your first kiss?”

Simon raises a brow at that. Wille is about to tell him he doesn’t have to share that with him but doesn’t when a smile tugs on Simon’s lips.

Felice walks in before Simon can answer him.

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During the second movie, Wille makes the mistake of falling asleep, a mistake only because when he's awake Simon isn’t there.

He rubs his face and groggily asks Felice about his whereabouts.

“His mom picked him up like 30 minutes ago.”

“Oh.”

He doesn’t bother to mask his disappointment and for that Felice pity him and adds, “he was hesitant about whether he should wake you or not. He didn't because you looked too peaceful to disturb.”

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two hours later and he can't rest at all, his mind playing his conversation with Simon over and over again. Maybe it's the lack of sleep or the fact he's always a lot more vulnerable late at night that gives him the courage to reach for his phone and text Simon what he wanted but couldn't say earlier.

Wille: It was memorable too.

thank you <3

He even adds a heart, Goddammit!

Frustrated, he tosses his phone aside and awaits for sleep to take him. That doesn't happen, he tosses and turns until he finally gives up and reaches for his phone.

He unlocks it to find that Simon has sent him a video. His heart beats so fast as he clicks on it and his breath catches in his throat the moment he sees that Simon is in bed and though he's under the covers, Wille can still see a glimpse of his hoodie. Simon’s curls are tousled over his pillow, his eyes are glistening and his cheeks are a little flushed and it doesn't help that the video was just 4 seconds of Simon winking and clicking his tongue while giving him thumbs up.

Simon: Glad to know my work paid off :”)

Wille smiles to himself.

Willie: Oh…

Work…

So it was a job to you

Giving out free kisses :(

Simon: Yeah :(

Just first though

Ayub was just on the phone pitching the idea of a kissing booth actually

You know we could use a prince ;)

Wille: I'm so happy for you and the business, I really am, but pass... for now

Simon: “for now” ;)

Wille: Go to sleep, Simon, it seems like you need it

Simon: Or what?

You'll come to my house?

Doesn't sound bad

Three dots pop up then disappear, Wille rushes to type a response, aware that Simon most likely regrets texting him that. The first thing that comes to his mind is Olle, Oski and Felle. Those poor fishes, always being his unwilling accomplices.

Wille: don’t be mad but if I were to come it's only to steal your fishes

Simon: WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK WILLE??

My fishes?!?! I’m calling Rosh and Ayub asap for back up

DON'T MOVE

Malin got no chance against Rosh, DO YOU HEAR ME??

Wille: OH MY GOD you're mad MAD that you're bringing poor Malin into this

Simon: You're coming for poor Olle, Oskie and Felle. What do you expect??

Wille: Not you recruiting your best friend to fight a whole ass trained bodyguard

Simon: You've never seen Rosh in a fight, she could take Malin trust me

Wille: Think she would put me in a headlock if she saw me?

As soon as he hits send, he curses himself, then presses the heel of his free hand against his eyes and tries to take deep breaths. He completely ruined the mood. He waits a tad too long to read the next message that was sent two minutes ago.

Simon: Tbh if you asked me 2 weeks ago she probably would have tried

Wille: What changed?

Simon: Idk I guess I'm just no longer crying about it, not that I’m not sad or hurting, I just manage it better now

It really sucks

There's a lump in Wille's throat, he's about to type a sincere apology and a promise of fixing things because he badly wants to and is already trying to, but he sees the three dots popping so he waits, hand rubbing his chest.

Simon: You're right. I’m sleep deprived and I know the smart thing is to turn off my phone and sleep but you poured your heart to me once when you were high off your ass and I know it's not a competition but... God Wille in the ideal world right now I would be convincing you to sneak out to Bjärstad because you didn't kiss me goodnight and if I were lucky you would be making jokes about my fishes while lying in my bed.

Wille: I would say yes without any hesitation just so you know.

I’m also okay with coming over to hug you goodnight right now if you just say the word, since I didn’t get to do that tonight.

Simon: It's almost midnight and you're the crown prince.

Wille: And?

Simon: You're insane.

Wille: I'm not hearing no.

Simon: Well, yeah because I want you to come.

Wille: Okay. That’s what I’ll do then, but just for safety measures if Malin notices my absence, I’m trusting you on Rosh handling it.

Wille doesn't waste time, drops his phone on the bed and rushes to put on the first hoodie he sees, a pair of jeans then his converse and runs one hand through his hair while he opens his phone with the other.

He grins reading Simon's reply

Simon: I got her on speed dial don't you worry.

You're still insane btw :)

Wille: Yeah yeah yeah say it to my face I dare you.

Simon: Then hurry!!

Wille does exactly that. Feeling giddy as he shoves his phone in his pockets, opens the window then ungracefully jumps out of it and if the guilt he has been trying to bury creeps in when he remembers Alexander always softening his landing, he makes Simon his focal point.

The bus ride goes better than the last one, there's no awkward encounter when he enters it and it's almost empty which is a relief. He sits two rows across elderly couple and offers a polite smile when the woman stares.

He pulls out his phone to distract himself from further glances. He finds another text from Simon sent 7 minutes ago telling him to be careful and then asking if he likes cinnamon rolls.

Wille: I’ll be and yes I actually do.

Simon: Good! Sara and I helped my mom bake some this evening.

They taste better than anything a bakery or a fancy place could ever offer and who's better to confirm that other than THE prince himself.

Wille: Aha so first you want me for your kissing booth and now I’m your taste tester.

Simon: Exactly and Malin as well!

JUST for the taste testing!!!!!!!!!

Wille: Malin?

Simon: Yeah, I packed her a roll as well. I need an unbiased opinion, you seem to like me too much to let me down.

The last part feels like a punch to the guts. Wille loves him too much and still did let him down.

Wille: And you think Malin doesn't like you?

Simon: She does? How do you know? Does she talk about me? Is it my curls?

It must be it.

Wille: Exactly, the curls.

Simon: I knew it!

To think I was planning on cutting them.

Wille: You what now?!?!

Simon: I was thinking about cutting my hair??

Wille: Don't... please.

Simon: Really?

Wille: I know it's weird to say now but I love your curls.

Drunk me would totally wax poetic about them.

Simon: And sober you?

Wille: Beg you to not cut your hair I guess, or a safer option admire from afar.

Simon: Interesting…

I’ll think about it.

Wille: Phew.

Simon: You're dramatic, you know that?

Wille: Says the person who didn't talk to me for 10 minutes for saying I don't like ketchup on my pasta.

Simon: FUCK now that you reminded me, I can't even trust your taste buds with my cinnamon rolls.

Wille: See now you're being dramatic again.

Simon: :(

Wille: Don't pout and go hide your fishes.

Simon: How long till you're here? Do I have enough time to send my fishes to Ayub? He got a bigger aquarium.

Wille: Ayub got fishes?!

Also about 15 minutes.

Simon: Yeah he got my fishes’ siblings.

Wille: That's cool.

Simon: You know what, I'm glad you don't know where he lives, I don't need you going there asking about his fishes' names then making moves on him.

Wille: OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

SHUT UP

PLEASE

Simon: It was right there.

I had to.

Wille: I hate you.

Simon: I know, but you still chose to take a bus ride late at night just to hug me.

They text back and forth, until Wille sees that he’s almost at the bus stop.

Wille: How difficult it is to get into your room from the window?

Simon: Easy, but I'll be waiting for you at the front door.

Wille: Wouldn't that wake your mom and Sara?

Simon: Maybe, but when I said at my place there's no need to hide I meant it.

Wille: Still?

Simon: Of course.

My feelings didn't change you know that

You should know that.

Wille: Thank you.

Selfishly I am glad they didn't, but when they do, it's okay.

Simon: If, more like.

Wille throws his head back against the seat and lets out a groan. The old couple give him a look and Wille grimaces.

Wille: I can’t wait to hug you.

Simon: <3

"Fuck." He earns himself a glare from the couple. Why are you even awake? He almost comments.

When he gets off the bus, he keeps his phone inside his pocket and only texts Simon when he's two to five minutes away.

Simon is standing outside, waiting for him, still warmed up in his sweatshirt. Both of their tired faces light up when their eyes meet.

His plan was to wrap him in a hug as soon as he's close enough, but Simon seems to think otherwise, he whispers, “come on” before he's pulling him inside the house directly to his room.

Once they're inside, Simon turns back to him with a shy smile, “so…”

Wille feels like he’ll implode from all the affection and love he holds for Simon, he hopes his face conveys every ounce of emotion as he pads to close the distance between them, his arms securely around Simon’s shoulders, pulling him closer. Simon tightens his grip around his waist and at that Wille buries his face in his neck.

"You're a good hugger." Simon’s voice comes off muffled by his chest.

“I am? I don’t have much experience,” Wille remarks, but regrets it when Simon tense and clings tighter. “But I'm glad. You deserve good hugs.”

Simon’s clutch doesn’t loosen and for a while they just stand in the middle of the room, offering and receiving comfort.

“What about mine? From 1 to 10 how good my hugging skills are?” Simon breaks the silence.

“Are you fishing for compliments?”

“And if I was?”

“No complaints.”

“Good.”

“To answer your question, I don't want to let go.”

“No complaints either.”

They relax their clutch on each other when it sinks in that they have a few hours to bask in each other's presence. Wille lifts his head from Simon's neck and tucks Simon's head under his chin and Simon starts to draw patterns on Wille's covered back, one moment his forehead is resting against Wille's sternum, the other his cheek is against Wille's heart. Wille enjoys every press of Simon's weight on him and even plucks up the courage to run his fingers through Simon's hair, keeping him close.

Eventually, Simon mumbles something about the cinnamon rolls getting cold and "yes I warmed them for you."

Simon takes the plate off his desk and leads the way to his bed, they sit too close for exes that are trying to be just friends, but they both feel the same, they don't want to be just friends, but the cards they have been dealt with are telling them not yet.

Not yet, but Simon is still gonna drape his leg over Wille's as they share the cinnamon roll. Not yet, but Wille is still gonna caress Simon's cheek even after he wiped off the cream off the corner of Simon's lips. Not yet, but Simon still asks Wille to stay the night after Wille mutters, “I should probably head back.”

“It's the weekend and it's very late and Malin is sweet and apparently likes me, so the plan is that we'll wake up super early and you'll call her and let her know you're here with me, she can come pick you up and If you wanna play dirty we can blackmail her.”

Wille smiles down at the plate, then looks up at Simon, his head tilted to the side. “And we have Rosh.”

“Exactly.”

“And what about your mom and Sara?”

“Oh, I'm saving their involvement for the eventual face off with your mom.’

“I was talking about them seeing me here in the morning, I haven't seen your mom since you know,” Wille says, worry seeping into his voice, but he brushes it off, pats Simon's thigh and adds, “but now I'm intrigued and also afraid to ask about the face off.”

“They know we're friends,” Simon answers, sincerely. “and besides Ayub and I have sleepovers all the time, it's the same.”

Is it? Your finger is tracing my knuckles, Wille wants to say.

Like he's reading his mind, Simon looks him in the eyes and adds, “it will seem the same to them at least.”

Wille huffs a small laugh, dropping his gaze to their hands.

Simon withdraws his hand and tugs on the sleeves of Wille’s sweater he’s wearing. Wille mourns the touch, but the butterflies in his stomach go reeling when it hits him once again that Simon is clutching the fabric of his sweater.

“You were my real first kiss,” Simon says, surprising him. “To answer your question from earlier.”

“Real?”

“With romantic feelings and all that stuff.” Seeing the hint of confusion in Wille’s stare prompts him to add, “but if we’re being technical my first kiss was with Ayub.”

“Ayub? Like your best friend Ayub?”

“Yeah, that one,” Simon smiles. “We were playing truth or dare with Rosh and some of her relatives and at some point one of them dared me to kiss someone so I pecked him on the lips, we were 14 and I came out 2 weeks after which I regret only because Ayub thinks he’s the reason why and I have yet to humble him. You would think kissing the prince would do that but no.”

Wille smiles around his spoon. “Well, Ayub is more of a catch than me.”

“Jesus, you’re really hitting on Ayub.”

Wille groans and throws his head back against the wall, “not this again.”

"Just teasing," Simon giggles and Wille just to annoy him gives him the most mixed review on his cinnamon rolls which lasts for about 10 minutes, only because Simon tackles him back into the mattress, both laughing until they realize their missed and longed for proximity, they've never been this close since the last time they were in Wille’s room.

That day Malin let Simon walk into the room without any questions, without alerting Wille even. Wille was wallowing in his bed, but as soon as he saw Simon, he sat up and in Simon’s rush to hug him the both of them fell back into the bed. “Fucking missed you,” Wille muttered, tucking his face in Simon’s neck. They stayed embracing for God knows how long. They put on a movie at some point, the laptop on Simon’s lap while Wille rested his head on Simon's chest and wrapped an arm around his waist. Simon kept him close, close until Wille abruptly pulled away, sat on the edge of his bed, rubbing his chest. Simon didn’t say anything at first, just laid a kiss on Wille’s shoulder blade, then got up, pulled the bed’s sheet on the floor just enough to sit on. “Come here, Wille.”

Simon’s fingers leaving his wrist, toss him back to reality, one where he has to steel himself for the withdrawal, because the boy above him isn’t his anymore. However Simon takes him by surprise when the same fingers roam towards his fringe, fruitlessly sweeping it away from his eyes. His breath catches in his throat and he can’t help it when his eyes shift between Simon’s eyes and lips, he feels better when he catches Simon doing the same but with a beam slowly making its way on his face. “You’re insane.”

Wille, in some type of daze, faintly chuckles but it dies down when Simon’s hand travels down to cup his mouth, as if he’s putting a barrier between them, as if it’s the only resort to keep them from crossing another line. Wille’s breaths are heavy under Simon’s palm and intense gaze.

Simon’s lips quiver and then he’s crawling off him and reclining in the tight space beside him. “I’m insane. There are so many things I promised myself to not say, at least not yet, but here I am, wanting to lay it all out on you,” Simon sighs, looking at the ceiling.

“Can I ask for a favor?”

“Anything.”

“Keep your promise and for now… for now tell me about the face off you mentioned earlier.”

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