sorastar6

[sorastar6]

I was going to do some Toa-Kai paralleling and then I realized I had a lot to say on Toa alone so I'm going to have that as something separate. It'll be written though!

There's a core conflict that sits in Toa's character that makes me really sad on multiple levels but then makes me completely unsure how to vote him.

The conflict being that ultimately no matter what he does no one will actually believe in his own sincerity unless he uh- metaphorically or not, kills himself.

Toa: Ah. I'm just preoccupied with my thoughts. Sorry. Did you want something? Remi: Hmm~ I think I wanted to see you smile? … Not like that. You’re forcing a smile but your eyes are not smiling, you’re just narrowing them to make it look like it.  Toa: Hm.

Ego: Sorry. I have no ill intent, it's just that… I can't really tell when you're being sincere and when you're not? Toa: I see… Ego: All of your emotions look a bit exaggerated. Toa: Well, that's true. No one likes dry people, but when I'm trying to convey my emotions, it looks exaggerated.

I was told, you're a good one, you're quiet. I'm always late for an hour, I barely bring my homework and don't even bother changing my clothes when coming home; but, if you ask me to do anything, I'll do it — if you ask me to say something, I'll repeat word-by-word. Just be sure to make clear instructions… Otherwise I can't figure out what you want. I care It's not your fault I'll be here I was told, what a weakling. You won't get anywhere in life if you act like this. It's my own life, though?! —Despite that I was so obedient… Hey, fix your instructions before blaming me.

Toa: Amano-san. I hate when people demand that I please them. You must understand the feeling.

I don't rebel against the rules. I was always told that lies are bad; I’ve seen the way they get both the liar and those around them into trouble. So I've decided, if I can't say something with utmost confidence, I'd rather stay quiet — I don't want to cause even more pain, anymore. I don't want the other’s pain to be my fault.

Remi: Wow, okay, okay, no need to get angry~  Hey, is it Mi-kun who made you so short-tempered? Toa: I’ve always been short-tempered. But being asked to do something just for the sake of someone else is what I hate the most, that's true.

Toa: Mhm. I tried to be considerate with everyone else in the prison as well, and I wanted to be everyone's friend. Although I’m not cheerful like Remi, I'm not smart like Chise, and I'm not mature like Kai, I wanted to be helpful. But I wouldn't go to extreme measures for the sake of being called a good friend. I wouldn't die for others, and I wouldn't let them do anything they want with me. Even if I wanted to, even if I knew that it could make them like me more, even if it would make me the most helpful of all— I can't do it.

I know I just said that this would be Toa specific but Kai Already makes this observation of Toa's behavior in her Memories:

If you listen to everyone's voices, you'll never reach the ending, exhausted, no more feeling like a human being; that's why they have to be sorted!

And Toa's VDs and Memories are riddled with imagery of robots, with one of the commands being run in his VD:

> rmdir /S

To delete a directory. (/s is apparently used to delete Whole Directories in some Windows OS)

In computing, a directory is a file system cataloging structure that contains references to other computer files, and possibly other directories. On many computers, directories are known as folders or drawers,[1] analogous to a workbench or the traditional office filing cabinet. The name derives from books like a telephone directory that lists the phone numbers of all the people living in a certain area.

And the T2 Memory Drawing looks like this:

His his self perception has been destroyed to the point where his mental mindscape sees himself as Robotic.

You must be thinking I'm too superficial, a soft yet cold shell, or maybe you're thinking how to benefit yourself with my existence, or both, I don't know, I don't hear my words nor see my actions — so I can't guess what would be your response, the way you see me. 

Toa: How interesting. It seems that the people chosen for this prison have a preference for the humanities disciplines. Maybe we all find the mundane life of humans the most fascinating. The more you observe the way others live, the more you might begin to feel like another human, too.

I would like to mention that in the PHYSICAL WORLD it seems like he DID get Broken and Destroyed (and honestly the Memories make it seem like Toa is actually a Murder Victim but I'll get to that OH I'll GET TO IT-) but it wasn't something he wanted to happen, despite not wanting to live.

I just didn't want to die.  It's a crime to get your life spared when you don't want to live either. 

Why are you hurting me? Why are you hurting me? Why are you hurting me? Why are you hurting me?

There is an actual limit to the harm Toa (uh- as a whole) is willing to experience, even if he (T1) does not recognize that due to Dissociation.

Toa: As I said, my only special skill is being an awful friend! Ego: I've been wondering, what do you mean by this? To the point you consider it a crime. Toa: What do I mean? Well, exactly what I'm saying? Umm… It's like I'm always being present, but also always not present… Ego: In other words…? Toa: You're asking such hard questions! Ego: Very sorry, unfortunately, you're obligated to answer the warden’s questions. Toa: What will happen if I refuse to answer? Ego: Senpai’s power. Toa: Wah! Ego: Answer already. Toa: Fine, fine… Hm-m… I can let people copy my homework, but I can't explain the material to them. I'm not hardworking, so my free hours last the whole day and I'm always ready to spend time together or talk, but whenever I'm present, I can't do anything. I don't know what to say to support the other person, I'm too much of a coward to help, I don't voice out my opinions, the way I express my emotions is weird. There are a lot of things to list.

Echo: Duty… …of a friend, I suppose. Toa: Hmm. Echo: During the previous interrogation, you said that your crime is being a bad friend. I understood what you meant only after looking through the reports of your memories. Now, you’ve also added that “friend” is an empty word, and that you hate being called one… Toa: … Ahh. Well, let's see. “Friendship” is not an exact set of rules though. Some people call “friends” those who they just meet at the school. Some can only call a person a “friend” if they've known each other for a long time and exchanged personal secrets. For some, “friendship” means hanging out on weekends and having fun together. For some, it means entrusting your life to another person. So, who defines the “duty of a friend”? Others, or I? Do my duties change when I'm with different people? If someone you don't consider a “friend” wants you to sacrifice your life to save them because they do consider you one, would you do it against your will? Who out of you would be the “bad friend” in such a case?

Toa: I guess. I don't know if it's that. I wouldn't say I “killed” or “committed a crime”. But I can more or less remember the last significant thing that happened before I woke up here.

Toa: Because you’ve decided that I must be a Perpetrator, it seems you consider it harmful. You call it a crime of omission. But I do not think of it as harmful. So I'm not afraid of testifying against myself.

Though note that Toa (T1) does highlight certain things that go back to this.

Ahh, I hate being called weird. I don't care if people lie to me or use me; but I hate being ignored and pushed away.

Point is, both Toas. And presumably also the 2 other Toas on the Toa T1 Memory Art. Have different limits in what they are willing to tolerate, and that difference in both Willingness, Temperament, and collective impression of Insincerity due to how he expresses his emotion:

Toa: Sorry, was there any hostility in my tone? I'm not very good at controlling my voice. Echo: …There's nothing in your tone. That's what bothers me. Your reaction is so unimpressed. Toa: Haha. Did you want to get a stronger reaction out of me? Echo: This— is not what I mean. It's not the particular reason I decided on this verdict. Toa: If you consider me a Perpetrator, should I act like one? Is this what you’d like to see? Echo: Huh? Toa: Don't worry, don't worry. I’m too much of a coward to do any real harm. Echo: …Was this supposed to be a joke or something? Toa: It was a genuine question. Then, seeing your concerned reaction, I provided a genuine explanation why you shouldn't be concerned. Yet, you appear to still be confused. Maybe I've interpreted your facial expression incorrectly? Echo: … Toa-kun, just a quick question, but are you talking like this on purpose? Toa: How strange. I'm trying to prevent any misunderstandings, but it seems like you can't understand me no matter what. I wonder just what I should do.

Subdued or Exaggerated it gets:

This noise is so tiring. I mirror what I see so that they don't suspect anything, no, right, was it also weird to do? Keep as quiet as possible and scream into another's face and welcome them sweetly — you're going to be suspected either way.

And now with the change in behavior (dissociation) there's even more reason to "suspect" his "sincerity."

…Don't you think that Toa-kun became a bit weird? I can't understand what he's talking about anymore… Warden! Please save my friend!

Chise: …The way you talk is weird. Toa: Haha. Chise: It's kind of gross.

Ahh, I hate being called weird. I don't care if people lie to me or use me; but I hate being ignored and pushed away.

Though, I would like to state I don't think T2 Toa is necessarily wrong either in this assertion:

It's not that my personality has changed. It's rather the circumstances that enabled another behavior of mine. It might be surprising, but I’m as multifaceted as any other human.

See the starting point of Toa's perception of being Robotic, it's not Incorrect to say that Toa's interiority as a human being was a genuine surprise to people because Toa has been dehumanized.

Toa: I’ve always been short-tempered. But being asked to do something just for the sake of someone else is what I hate the most, that's true. Remi: Huh~ Toa: Maybe you don't understand. Because I decided I'd rather be good-for-nothing. But you’re prideful, and would never agree to be good-for-nothing. So you can't let go of the only way to give yourself self-worth that you know. Remi: …Huh? Toa: Did you forget? I'm also a writer. Amano-san. So I'm observing everyone's feelings, as well.

The "Duty of being a Friend" is another showcase of this. Toa is a "friend" and as a "friend" he should have sacrifice himself wholly without any concern for himself.

Which Is a form of dehumanization, his self is being treated as disposable. (His Boy Princeness- I should reanalyze the girl-boy prince/damsel choices now that I know them better because they make more sense to me now-)

No matter what Toa does he is unable to make people people in his sincerity as a person.

This lack of faith in his sincerity opens him up to scrutiny. Scrutiny reveals that:

He probably wanted me to say, at least, “I wish I could take you out of there”. But I can't stand making empty promises anymore; I've lost count of them, I'm unable to bear the disgust. My words are capable of anesthetizing the pain, yet not healing; when the effect wears off, people realize all their bones were broken this whole time, and it's my fault, my fault. I don't hate you. I don't want to hate you. it's not your fault that I’m a weird one; you're an innocent soul that ended up in a way too cruel world. After I get beaten up by my own weeping enough, let me try again. I wake up and I can't breathe. 

And then people get upset at him. Treating it as a betrayal or that he's being weird.

Simply put. Because people believe him to be insincere, any potential sign of "insincerity' gets treated as proof. Even if that "proof" if someone telling him to jump off a cliff for him and he refuses. Even if the proof is just how he usually acts.

He smiles, it’s not insincere — the kind of smile that only two-faced people are able to make, luring you in with saying "you're my friend" in tender voice; it's not insincere like this — but so empty, tasteless, somehow, it's provokingly irritating.

Looking back at it, I’ve always found that guy strangely transparent. Even if he’s laughing and endlessly chit-chatting about pointless topics, the air around him stays toned down. Carrying my own cold and hollow insides, I can't care about something that bland, you know?

Oh yeah, by the way, hello Miku!

— Me too. Yet we aren't born lucky enough. He probably wanted me to say, at least, “I wish I could take you out of there”.

It was a child born in an unlucky place.

Even so, holding my hands over his, I take a deep breath; my words, cold and sweet and slightly biting like the taste of mint, are melting into the spring air:

This someone gripped his hand with almost motherly touch, and he could only look up with a lost sight, hastily shuffling his feet.

I've been as quiet as I could, and never allowed myself to feel hate for you — even so, why, why are you — I wish I could take you out of there. —why are you hurting me? Why are you hurting me? Why are you hurting me? Why are you hurting me? Why are you hurting me?

Toa: Wouldn't it be nice if we met each other in several lives? Miku: Why all of a sudden… Survive at least one life with me first. Then we can think about several. Toa: Hmm. I might have done it already. It's not like people normally remember their past lives, right?

Was it fun? Indulging in anger to the point of deciding who can live and who can die. Of course, anger makes one stronger.

Wonder what your doing.

Eitherway. I am completely clueless in how I want to vote. Because as Toa AND Kai because these are the same people, said:

Pity is not compassion

I don't want to vote him as Victim if I can't be sure I'm not doing it out of pity.

HOWEVER, I do think Perpetrator is out of the question. And that savior is just forcing an ambiguous "duty" onto him. And that just feels unfair.

So I wonder what to do...

lets goooo so awesome

[sorastar6]

Trial 2 - 015 Voice drama: "INPUT"

Toa: I would say it's a nice morning, but we don't see the sky here, so the atmosphere is a bit off. I hope that you have a good time talking to me, though. Echo: … Toa: What's the matter? Echo: Uh, it's nothing… I mean, I've been wondering… You're so calm in contrast to others. Toa: Hmm. The ones coming before me tend to be troublesome, I understand. Well, feel free to take some rest in my presence. Echo: Ahh, then… For starters, can you re-introduce yourself? Toa: Sure. What exactly would you like me to tell in the introduction? Echo: Name, age, any information you consider important. The same as the previous time. Toa: Toa Suzuki. 16 years old. I don’t have a lot of hobbies, and being called a “friend” annoys me. I'll be in your care. Echo: Eh? What's the last bit about? Toa: Hm? Which one? Echo: About being called a friend. Toa: Ahh, this. “Friend” is a pretty empty word, yet, others and I use it to refer to each other all the time. I can't help feeling irritated about it. Echo: Doesn't “to” in your name mean “friend”? Toa: Right, how ironic. Echo: Haha… Toa: … Echo: Um. Next question. What do you think of your verdict? Toa: Hmm. Please give me a moment. Echo: It's fine. Toa: … Well, I don't know if I should feel anything about it. It's just the way you see me. If we were reacting to any opinion that ever exists of us, we would lose our minds. Echo: Fair enough, but this “opinion” directly influences your position in the prison. You're now isolated and all. …Just to clarify, I had no idea that the rules would be like this, and I don't take enjoyment in it. Toa: Echo-san, you excuse yourself a lot. There's no need to. Echo: … Toa: Sorry, was there any hostility in my tone? I'm not very good at controlling my voice. Echo: …There's nothing in your tone. That's what bothers me. Your reaction is so unimpressed. Toa: Haha. Did you want to get a stronger reaction out of me? Echo: This— is not what I mean. It's not the particular reason I decided on this verdict. Toa: If you consider me a Perpetrator, should I act like one? Is this what you’d like to see? Echo: Huh? Toa: Don't worry, don't worry. I’m too much of a coward to do any real harm. Echo: …Was this supposed to be a joke or something? Toa: It was a genuine question. Then, seeing your concerned reaction, I provided a genuine explanation why you shouldn't be concerned. Yet, you appear to still be confused. Maybe I've interpreted your facial expression incorrectly? Echo: … Toa-kun, just a quick question, but are you talking like this on purpose? Toa: How strange. I'm trying to prevent any misunderstandings, but it seems like you can't understand me no matter what. I wonder just what I should do. Echo: Okay, got it, let's continue. Toa: I didn't get it. Echo: You're in a prison for murderers. I'm pretty chill, but there are people who jump to conclusions much quicker. You should be careful with saying things like that Perpetrator comment. Toa: Hm… You’ve said not everyone here is a murderer earlier. What made you decide I'm one? Echo: Your memories. Toa: Ah, right. Echo: I’ve concluded your crime is one of omission. You call yourself a “bystander” because you didn't do anything to prevent the murder. Toa: “Omission” also exists in the law, doesn't it? But it's only applicable if the person is not fulfilling their duties. Then, what kind of duty are you putting on me?

Echo: Duty… …of a friend, I suppose. Toa: Hmm. Echo: During the previous interrogation, you said that your crime is being a bad friend. I understood what you meant only after looking through the reports of your memories. Now, you’ve also added that “friend” is an empty word, and that you hate being called one… Toa: … Ahh. Well, let's see. “Friendship” is not an exact set of rules though. Some people call “friends” those who they just meet at the school. Some can only call a person a “friend” if they've known each other for a long time and exchanged personal secrets. For some, “friendship” means hanging out on weekends and having fun together. For some, it means entrusting your life to another person. So, who defines the “duty of a friend”? Others, or I? Do my duties change when I'm with different people? If someone you don't consider a “friend” wants you to sacrifice your life to save them because they do consider you one, would you do it against your will? Who out of you would be the “bad friend” in such a case? Echo: … Toa: If the word has a different meaning to everyone, then it doesn't have any actual meaning. Even so, it's used to blame me for not doing enough, then for being too annoying as well. It's frustrating. Exactly because I wish to be seen as a friend, someone to rely on. It seems like I can't be one correctly, no matter what. Echo: …Do you remember your crime? Toa: It's not my crime that I'm talking about. Echo: Huh? Toa: … Ahh. But these are my personal problems. Excuse me. I'm not sure I'm strong enough to share them. Echo: Problems, you say… Do they have to do with your personality changing in this trial? Toa: My personality? Echo: Yes. Toa: You're not the first one who says something about my personality being different. But to tell the truth, I have no idea what you're talking about. Humans are multifaceted. It's not that my personality has changed. It's rather the circumstances that enabled another behavior of mine. Did you think of me as superficial? Echo: Hmm, what circumstances are these, then…? Toa: … Echo: Toa-kun? Toa: Haha. Can we not talk about that? Echo: … I'm the Warden here, so… It's not like I'm a therapist, but if there's anything bothering you in the prison… I guess I just want you to know that you can rely on me to handle this. It's for the sake of the whole prison being in peace. Toa: … Echo: …The way you just stare and smile without moving at all, is kind of creepy. Toa: I appreciate your concern, Echo-san. It's really kind of you to try to create a friendly atmosphere. Since you're so nice to me, I will give you a bit of explanation. It didn't happen as long as I didn't acknowledge it. If I put it into words, I won't be able to let go of the burden. I'm already pretty responsive. Please don't get greedy. Echo: Ah… But… … No. I understand. I'm sorry for insisting. …For forcing the “duty” thing on you earlier, as well. It was too unpleasant of me… out of all people, to do that. Toa: It's fine. Echo: Uh… Let's talk about something else. Toa: As you wish. Echo: Hm… Right, I still would like to know if you remember your crime. Toa: I guess. I don't know if it's that. I wouldn't say I “killed” or “committed a crime”. But I can more or less remember the last significant thing that happened before I woke up here. Echo: What was it? Toa: … (sighs) I was at school… Hm… There were people gathering, like, near the entrance. From different classes, even from the middle school. They were discussing a student who happened at the hospital. I don't remember who that student was. I didn't feel anything in particular about it back then, and I don't feel anything about it now. Echo: If you didn't feel anything, why do you consider it significant? Toa: …Why? …I don't know why. I just memorized it as something “significant”. It's like asking why you consider the sky blue. Echo: Did that student die in the hospital? Toa: I have no information on this. Echo: I see. Thank you for being willing to share. Toa: Sure.

[bell rings] Echo: You're pretty good at answering questions. Toa: I'm aware of it. Echo: What I mean is… I appreciate the cooperation, but answering so easily — are you not afraid of accidentally testifying against yourself? Toa: …Warden-senpai. I’ll be honest for a moment. Echo: Eh? Toa: … I’ve been trying to take care of Mi-kun. I memorized what he told me, I let him spend almost the whole time in my cell, I listened to him, and I was with him when he was bored or scared. Even now, despite everything, I want to be here for him. Does this align with what you've been thinking about my “personality” so far? Echo: Uh… Sure? Toa: Mhm. I tried to be considerate with everyone else in the prison as well, and I wanted to be everyone's friend. Although I’m not cheerful like Remi, I'm not smart like Chise, and I'm not mature like Kai, I wanted to be helpful. But I wouldn't go to extreme measures for the sake of being called a good friend. I wouldn't die for others, and I wouldn't let them do anything they want with me. Even if I wanted to, even if I knew that it could make them like me more, even if it would make me the most helpful of all— I can't do it. Echo: … Toa: Because you’ve decided that I must be a Perpetrator, it seems you consider it harmful. You call it a crime of omission. But I do not think of it as harmful. So I'm not afraid of testifying against myself. Echo: …I see. It's good to stand for what you believe is right. Toa: … Ahh… Well… How to put it… I don't feel anything in particular about the verdicts, but I do think that the verdict you gave me is a bit unfair. Echo: Oh? So you aren't as unimpressed about it as you appear to be. Toa: Haha. It's simply hard for me to be expressive. Sorry. Echo: Why do you consider your verdict unfair? Toa: Well, I hope it doesn't hurt your feelings if I tell you that. I’ve said I'm a bad friend, but there's one more thing I said. It doesn't mean that everyone else is a good one. The way I see it, you just can't look at yourself.

[sorastar6]

Ayame: Sorry, I don't know if you're the type to like sweets… I made it coffee-flavored, so it shouldn't be too sugary… Hiiro: Huh. You're developing a habit of baking sweets for birthdays, aren't you. Ayame: Um… Hiiro: Hey, Mrs. Boss, is it even allowed to celebrate a Perpetrator’s birthday? If I'm considered dangerous, shouldn't I be completely avoided? Echo: Some people want to be friends despite realizing that the person is dangerous, you know. Or because of it.  Hiiro: Hm.  Ayame: … Hiiro: It was a “yes” or “no” question, but it's fine if you’re desperate to show what a smart kid you are. By the way, last time, Miku snatched most of the cookies, so you need to make sure to save a piece for yourself in advance. Ayame: I… will be fine. Hiiro: What about you, Mrs. Boss? Echo: If you want to share a cake with someone, Hotaru is always here. Hiiro: Can't you just answer “no thanks” like a normal person?

[sorastar6]

sickens me to my stomach. how dare this guy get to live my dream.

[sorastar6]

Through the uh- honestly embarassing and I should have noticed sooner- means of having been Told that Hotaru's last name was in their memory this entire time and I just Didn't Notice cause I thought it was Someone Else's name for some reason. And being told that their first name was Written in Game that we both play. Something I also should have realized. I now have Hotaru's full name:

Fuyuto Yoshimatsu

Fuyuto being written like this: 冬兎

and Very Literally translates to "Winter Rabbit" or "Snow Bunny" and so on.

Japenese names dot com for some reason only Yoshimatsu as a it as a first name despite it usually being a last name. But it is written like this there: 義松

義 means "justice, righteousness, morality."' 松 means "pine tree."

echo hearing voices: what is moe can change....

[sorastar6]

Hot take the Tamba hate this chapter feels misogynistic.

Her and Hiroaki have very similar flaws. They’re hot headed and say shit they don’t mean when they’re mad. They don’t think before they speak. It’s why they’re fighting so bad.

But so many people are siding with Hiroaki (as if it makes sense to take sides at all) and celebrating that he broke her leg??? I don’t like it.

youre preaching to the choir anon we all just agreed with you in the staff vc

[sorastar6]

Surnames are just as important as given names. So, I compiled a list of the websites I use to find my surnames.

English Surnames

Dutch Surnames

Spanish Surnames

Scottish Surnames

German Surnames

Italian Surnames

Irish Surnames

French Surnames

Scandinavian Surnames

Welsh Surnames

Jewish Surnames

Surnames By Ethnicity

Most Common Surnames in the USA

Most Common Surnames in Great Britan

Most Common Surnames in Asia

[sorastar6]

i just realized elysium characters dont have full prisoner uniforms right? they wear the clothes they had at the time of their deaths and prisoner collars?

Yeah!

[sorastar6]

if haru and kai would interact who would get killed fjrst

Haru cuz he would insist on becoming friends with her because one she looks like a boy and two she seems lonely so she needs friends

[sorastar6]

its just embarrassing when you make a fandom related post and it doesnt get any notes like okay. so no one want to play tuoys with me. no one wants to play with our little guys together. okay thats fine. yeah its cool... puts my hands in my jacket pockets. kicks a beer can that was on the side of the road a little

[sorastar6]

What people think sociopathy is:

- manipulative

- homicidal

- overall a bad person

- crazy

- lacks emotions

What sociopathy really is:

- constant overwhelming boredom and understimulation, feeling of void, what often leads to performing harmful or stupid behaviors on others or self

- inability to regulate emotions properly which leads to impulsive mood swings

- often paranoia

- putting yourself at constant risk and danger to feel anything

- disgusting intrusive thoughts running through your head 24/7

- inability to manage a healthy relationship

- returning desire to cut off all the people who care about you (often in a harmful way)

- struggles to understand why people care and inability to return the same

- often SH

- inability to adapt and function in society due to fanatical nonconformism

- actual homicidal thoughts or tendencies

- depending on complexicity of the disorder trauma-based psychotic episodes may occur, these may trigger fatal self-destructive/destructive behaviors

- making impulsive decisions (large part of which turn out to be bad)

- actual manipulative behaviors often being a result of fear of loosing control over your life

- being prone to falling into addictions

- easily triggered aggression (verbal or physical)

- selective to none interest in understanding emotions and pain of other people/animals

- often depression

- meltdowns that can last for days or weeks

- subconscious isolation

- overly materialistic or trade-like understanding of any relationship, benefit oriented mindset

- feeling of being tired and disgustingly sick of everything and everyone, indifference and ignorance being a result of years of own suffering

- can be but not necessairly an entirely bad person, you don't choose to have a certain mental illness but you do choose to be a piece of shit or not.

ASPD as sociopathy is a spectrum and a complex trauma based disorder that varies depending on the individual but most importantly causes a lot of struggles and a lot of pain to the person experiencing it. It incredibly pisses me off how misunderstood and misinterpreted that disorder is, so here is a yap from someone who is actually diagnosed with it.

[sorastar6]

NOTSUMI 2025 - Interrogation

Toa: I'm a bit envious of girls who are allowed to give friend chocolate and say "I love you!" to each other easily

Kizuna: I don't know, I'm not interested in other people. A normal day?

Kouta: What?

[sorastar6]

Trial 2 - 014 Verdict

In a place unseen by human eyes, my heartbeat is coming to an end. If you'd show some mercy, try to remember me — a kid who couldn't become wanted. Stupid, selfish, loud.  I'm hard to talk to, and I can't see through the words of others; with the empty mind of a prey animal, I stuff myself into a corner and hold my breath. Childish, weird, disgusting.  I can't stop the tears when I fall and scratch my knee; I wish to chat about things that go beyond survival. Burden, burden, burden.  After attempting to swallow the anger and choking on it, I throw up awkwardly and stare in expectation to have my head patted. I can't trust anyone, but would you take my hand and lead me?  Even so, I know the answer… If I'll be hated either way, it's fine to do whatever I find fun! As a love confession, I'll possess your body. Kids who were never wanted become grown-ups with apathetic hearts.

[sorastar6]

inspired by tsumigram nogram and elysium quizzes

[sorastar6]

Character asks!

These are more focused on the background stuff rather than the usual "what would the character do in XY situation" kinds of asks. I've been looking for something like this for quite a while and in the end decided to make my own. Feel free to use, go wild, enjoy

What was the original thought that led to the creation of this character?

How long was the process before the character reached its final version? (or a version that would be clearly recognizable as the character?)

What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?

And reverse, which one of the four things did you struggle with the most?

How did you choose their name and why? Was it simply based on vibes or is there any specific meaning behind the name? Are the reasons behind their name different in- and out of universe?

What was the thought process behind their appearance? Did you go mostly for the aesthetic or are there other reasons they look the way they do?

What is an aspect of their appearance that you like the most?

What is the origin of their personality? And let's be honest - how much of it is projecting?

How big is their role in the story? Do they make a frequent appearance or are they a character with little "screentime" but big influence? Or are they just a favourite background guy?

What is their main character arc in the story? Where do they start and how do they develop? Do they get a happy ending or is their story a tragic one?

Is there any existing character from other media that your character resembles? Was the resemblance intentional or was it a coincidence?

Do you have a playlist for the character? What songs do you associate with them and why?

Do you have a voice claim for the character? What do you imagine the character sounds like?

Do you have any quotes tied to the character, either from the story itself or from another source that fit them?

Have you ever made a moodboard for them?

Is there any memes or running jokes associated with the character, both in- and out of universe?

Are there any motifs or symbols associated with the character? How are they represented, in their design, personality or in some other way?

Does the character have other characters connected to them? Do you have a family tree and "offscreen" connections made up for them or do they exist in a vacuum purely for the purpose of the story?

What is your general favourite thing about the character? What is your least favourite?

Bonus question: share any additional thoughts, art, favourite scenes, anything you've been waiting for a chance to ramble about

[sorastar6]

Eisuke Tanaka caught in 4k hd

[sorastar6]

I MADE AN ELYSIUM CHARACTER QUIZ 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

It's kinda short but that's because I couldn't think of more questions. I hope you like it!