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Aber nicht deshalb, Pias und Esthers weiß er auch in my Head 😆

Leo kennt Adams Kennzeichen bestimmt auswendig, oder?

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jaaaaaaa!

Leo "Ich habe die Schnauze voll von deinen Alleingängen" Hölzer macht einen Alleingang und Adam "der Mittelpunkt der Welt, deiner Welt vielleicht" Schürk merkt, dass Leo Hölzer der Mittelpunkt SEINER Welt ist

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Präsidium. Nachtschicht. Gut, ich brauch deine Hilfe. Yes, Sir. Oh Gottseidank.

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wir brauchen dich hier.

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Photo by Katja Sponholz/dpa

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Grausam, ja… und beispiellos, dass Adam LEO gegenüber heftig wird. Von Anfang an stand er ohne zu fragen sofort (wieder) hinter Leo! Adam, der grob wird, körperlich oder verbal… Das gabs noch nie, nicht jetzt und bestimmt auch nicht früher!

Adam ist hier so in die Ecke gedrängt, so verrannt in seine verdrehte Argumentation, dass er Leo nur durch seine Lügen beschützen kann, dass er zum ersten mal dagegen schießt. Vielleicht zusätzlich auch, weil Leo wieder mal eine Grenze überschreitet, als er Adam doch recht ruppig auf den Oberarm klappst. Und dann schaut Adam und schaut und sieht, wie weh er Leo tut und schon im wegdrehen ist sein Gesichtsausdruck nicht mehr giftig.

Draußen beim Doktor sieht man schon, wie erschüttert er wirklich ist, als er Leos Auto nachschaut. zurück im Bunker, auf der Couch wo gestern Leo gelegen hat, also wenn er da nicht bereut, was passiert ist, weiß ich auch nicht. Ob er Leo aber wirklich alles erzählen will und deshalb die Tasche holt am nächsten Morgen? Im Herzen sag ich „Ja“… und genau genommen könnte er das beim cliffhanger von KdE immer noch, denn egal wie dramatisch das Ende inszeniert ist, wenn Adam jetzt die Zähne auseinander bekäme und sagt „Leo, bitte hör mir kurz zu…“

Hey, wir wissen doch alle, dass Leo da niemals auf stur schalten würde. Wäre es gesünder, wenn er Adam jetzt abblockt? Ja. Hätte Adam es sich redlich verdient? Ja. Würde Leo Hölzer Adam irgendwas nicht vergeben? Na bitte 🥰🥰🥰

Noch ein letztes zu "Deiner Welt vielleicht":

Ich stell mir auch vor, dass nach all den Sticheleien, der Tension, und Leos Misstrauen, Leos Tränen auch ein Weg sind, wie Adam die Versicherung bekommt, dass Leo ihn liebt!

Er guckt ihm verdammt lange noch ins Gesicht und ja, es ist absolut verdreht, und grausam, und Paradox aber ich glaube auch da bekommt er die Bestätigung, dass wenigstens hinter all dem, Leo ihn doch lieb hat.

Das ist ja das Paradoxe an ihrer Situation. Leo kommt mit seiner Strenge nicht an ihn ran, er treibt ihn immer weiter fort. Der Mann bräuchte unendliche Geduld. Das hatten wir ja schon. Und auch so holt er sich trotzdem, auch nach Leos Ultimatum, in Leos Verletzung die Bestätigung, dass Leo ihn liebt. Als letzte Möglichkeit.

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Zitat: „wer hat wen an der kürzeren Leine aus emotionaler Abhängigkeit?“

schön zu sehen, dass adam und leo immer noch die ausnahme für alle regeln des jeweils anderen sind <3

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#he punched someone in the face and i was in love

Wer nicht? 🥰

DfL, 01:27 omg ❤️

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Jaaaa! 😍😍😍

Adam und Leo:

Literally all of us:

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so true…

and also: you listening, Adam Schürk? ❤️

I feel bad responding to a very beautiful, poetically written ventpost with prosaic advice, but I'm going to say this:

Resilience is a skill. Being able to shrug things off is a skill. being able to curb your immediate emotional reaction to something, being able to process your feelings in a way that means you can do something with them rather than being consumed by them, and being able to soothe yourself til you can sit down and process those feelings? that's a skill.

It is a skill that you can learn, and it is a skill you can get better at.

unfortunately, like foreign languages, it is a skill that is easier to learn when you are a child. just like you learn a native language from the people around you, you learn from the people around you- usually your parents/guardians- how to react to things that hurt in the moment, how to soothe yourself until you can process them, and how to process them until they don't hurt anymore.

if you're highly reactive, the odds are good that, for whatever reason, you never learnt resilience as a kid. The people who were supposed to teach you how to handle the weight of the world didn't, or couldn't, or wouldn't.

if you try to learn this skill as an adult, you have to convince your brain to do things that it was never taught how to do, after it thinks it does not need to learn this anymore. in the same way that it's goddamn hard for a native adult English speaker to sit down and learn how to speak Russian like a native, if you never learnt how to be resilient when you were a kid? it's going to be a bitch to pick it up.

if you learnt "the world is scary and out to get you and there's nothing you can do about it, you WILL feel EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME" (or "showing your feelings in the moment will get you hurt, you need to bottle everything up until the bottle breaks and you get hurt with fifteen years of feelings at once", or "minor inconveniences are the prelude to The Adult In Your House Who Shouts coming down on you like a load of bricks, if things aren't going perfectly then you're about to suffer", or any number of other things), trying to learn that the world doesn't work like that any more is hard and it hurts. Unless you're really good at figuring out what you're thinking and why, you will probably need to get professional help.

You're not from the wrong planet. You just never learnt something that's as basic a part of being a human as talking or counting. You were failed, and it's cruel and unjust that no one helped you pick up the slack.

....But adults learn Russian every day. Adults teach themselves Russian every day.

You can learn how to do this. You can learn how to get better at dealing with the stuff that hurts you. You can become more resilient and less reactive.

you are not doomed to get hit by everything that happens to you like it's a truck forever.

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Ich liebe den Wortwechsel zum Herrenbesuch einfach ❤️

"Männerbesuch mit Waffe" - title of Adam's sex tape

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Oh wow. DANKE!

if I fix you, will you hate me?

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This is for my mutuals

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klingt absolut sinnvoll! Danke für die Idee! PS: die kürzere Zündschnur erkenne ich auch, aber wo siehst du die größere emotionale Nähe?

Ich muss ja schon sagen. Die deutlich größere emotionale Nähe gepaart mit Leos DEUTLICH kürzerer Zündschnur was Adam-erzählt-nicht-alles in KdE im Vergleich zu den vorangegangenen Fällen angeht UND die Tatsache, dass Leo, auch wieder im Vergleich zu den vorangegangenen Folgen, sehr viel mehr darüber im Bilde zu sein scheint, was Adams.... Gesamtsituation betrifft, verleitet mich ja zu der Annahme, dass zwischen DHdS und KdE was passiert ist. Und mit "was" meine ich, dass Leo Adam hingesetzt hat, ihn zum Reden gezwungen hat, und sich hat versprechen lassen, dass er in Zukunft besser über das, was in Adams Leben abgeht, informiert wird. Weil ohne eine solche Absprache macht für mich ihrer beider Verhalten im aktuellen Fall tatsächlich eher wenig Sinn.

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👍gefällt mir sehr!

Between a rock and a hard place: Adam had no choice, because Leo didn't leave him any

Probably not exactly a hot take, and actually a copy from my DW post the other day. Also, the original post has pictures, but because tumblr doesn't support any proper HTML, I had to skip the majority of them. Which is annoying me.

I think the whole mess is not Adam's fault alone, I actually think Leo has a significant part in it as well. I can't actually blame him, because he's so obviously in love and thought he was so close to getting what he wanted that he probably steamrolled Adam a bit. But Leo, for all that I get him and love him, is very much not blameless here.

Adam has one major raison d'être: Protect Leo. This is his one "this, you protect" thing ever. That was true in the school yard and this is also now true in adulthood with the whole money disaster. Adam wants to keep Leo out of the business with Boris and the money, because this is the best way to protect Leo. That's not exactly a news, this has been true since "Das fleißige Lieschen".

When Leo says, "I sleep better when I know nothing will happen to you", then Adam could have simply said that the same was true for him. He didn't, because Adam represses with the best of them (as you do).

(Rest under the cut, warning it's long an convoluted)

Anyway, between DfL and HdW, Leo didn't really have opportunity to catch some air. There was always something, first Adam comes back out of the blue with exactly no warning that he's still alive or about to become Leo's new partner (which he must have known), then he learns Adam's father has woken up again and the whole angst spiral starts over again. My guess is also that Adam wasn't exactly a happy guy in those two months between the episodes, because he was keeping secrets and had to deal with the emotional fallout of Roland being awake again.

I'm mostly willing to cut Adam slack about that, because he is protective of Leo and had the misguided notion of wanting to fix it himself, but Leo must have been confused. First Adam comes back and downright smoulders at him…and then he probably ran cold, suddenly. Leo is willing to forgive that for the most part because he has Adam back and looking that gift horse in the mouth will probably end with tears. So he doesn't. He should but he doesn't.

After HdW, however, that secret is very well out of the way and they obviously have some time to get used to each other again. The team gels better - probably because with Adam there, who will always have his back, Leo finally has some time to think about what he wants and how he wants to do it and Pia is willing to give the whole thing a go, so Esther is as well. They're so happy and relaxed at the beginning of HdS, flirting like they're about to go home with each other (they might have, had things not happened), it's a joy to see! It's a very bitter moment of what was and what could have been.

After HdS, Adam has more secrets, but all of Leo's secrets and guilt and tragedy has been aired out and gotten out of the way. Yes, he did put Roland in a coma, but he also did that to protect Adam. Really tragic is, I always thought that they could have just said what happened…but after KdE we also know that no one would have believed them. Leo should probably have paid more attention at uni when that topic was on the table, but he probably never thought that was about him - because that's the kind of guy Leo is.

But Leo has no more secrets. And he doesn't want any more secrets. Since DfL, he's always been in some kind of bind and all of that is just gone. And Leo can finally allow himself to actually love Adam the way he wants to.

And I think Leo just said fuck it and doesn't stop to think what that does to Adam. I don't think there was an actual love confession that used the words "I love you" or a variation thereof, but I that whole "I would go to the end of the world with you" wasn't new to Adam. Leo has said that before, in that way or in similar guise and sure, and he's very clearly loved on Adam. Maybe a bit awkwardly, because I don't think Leo is the super expert in relationships either, but I don't think he's been hiding his feelings anymore. He's way too expressive in KdE, he opens the door for Adam way too often, he wants he wants he wants.

Adam, on the other hand, doesn't do emotions - not in the Robert Karow school of thought though; Adam is very aware that they exist and that he has them but he hates it. At best he's rusty at them, at worst he's scared of feeling more than shallowly - scratching a sexual itch isn't the same as feeling something for anyone - because it makes him vulnerable. I don't believe Adam has any kind of relationship experience despite picking up strays and his experience with being loved by anyone (except Leo) is to be hurt. So he panics. And shuts down.

And Leo, who knows enough about Boris and the money and Roland to draw conclusions but not enough to see the whole picture, thinks if he just shows it enough, if he just keeps going and shows Adam how much he loves him, Adam will see it and accept it. Steter Tropfen höhlt den Stein. But he gets restless the more Adam fudges and lies and won't open his mouth, because Leo thinks if he can just fix this problem, he can fix Adam and then they will be happy. Unfortunately, that's not how life works and the whole things leads to the mess at the hospital. Because Leo goes after him again and again and is being shut down until finally, he leaves.

Adam, who knows everything and also knows that Leo loves him, finally has the opportunity to protect Leo from himself and from Adam's whole mess. Because the cut-off finger's of his attacker scared him shitless. So did the realization that, apparently, he's the heir to a crime family, but the fingers really showed him how this ripples out. He knows he's too deep into this mess, and finally when Leo steps up to him and says, "I would go to the end of the world with you but not this way", he knows the way to make Leo go away for good and protect him is to walk that path alone (single-plank bridge, anyone?). Because better Leo emotionally hurt than Leo dead for his association with Adam. Because Adam is a self-sacrificing idiot, but he also wants to save Leo from his own choices; he inserted himself way too deeply into the shitshow that is Adam's life (the couch crashing, going to see Boris, trying to get it out of Adam, etc). He doesn't want to, it hurts him a lot, but he needs to get Leo off this track. He knows Leo well and he very deliberately pushes him over the edge; he sticks in the knife and twists it, basically.

Look at it (static pics at the DW post):

And with Leo also physically shoving him (big, big no go with Adam, srsly Leo have you learned nothing), he finally has the momentum to shoot back.

He isn't enjoying hurting Leo, but he finally manages, because this is Leo after Adam leaves:

(It's lucky Vladimir is a good actor, they both are, or this could have ended up being ridiculous)

This is Adam's last ditch effort. After he pushes Leo so far away that he can't even be sure they'll even still be able to work together, he makes a last ditch effort to get rid of the money by threatening Manuela with 'finding' it at the Heimatschänke. But that goes sideways and Adam learns too much about a past he never wanted and…well.

And still Leo isn't really done with him, because we have this image from the last scene:

This is not a man who is done with his friend. And well, neither is Adam, really (because all things being equal, he will forgive Leo most things which...is a whole different can of warm I don't want to go into here).

Leo, meanwhile, knew Adam had the money. He also knew it was in the gym bag, because he tries to get into Adam's locked desk for confirmation. If Leo had gotten that then or at any other point, this would have been salvageable. But the confirmation after the fight with Alina was just too much for him to take.

And the thing is, this was more or less inevitable. Both of them assume too much about the other and talk too little about their own shit. carmenta and I discussed back in summer or early fall already that the only way they could make it work was if they learned to talk. However, that was unlikely enough that the only way it might work was if they got together, crashed and burned the relationship, and then there was some sort of tearful kissing in the rain in the middle of the night. (With a boom box preferably, but I'm old fashioned.)

I'm actually more surprised that they managed to do that before they even have a relationship, that has to be some sort of record. But ideally they'll get this out of the way and then can start again. Dramaturgically, this is really well done, I approve even if it hurts me in my feels.

Bottom line: Adam (thought he) had no choice, because Leo didn't leave him any. This doesn't make anyone the villain in this scenario, but it also doesn't mean anyone is blameless here.

Also, they both need a hug.

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Spot on!

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Hey Besties von der Zeit, ihr könnt das B hier gern weglassen 😂