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[sourcedfrom-az]

Memory Bank AU for Mouthwashing.

They're based on my source memories as a Jimmy Zare ...

I based their faces on famous people of their respective ethnicities.

Anya: Anna Akhmatova

Curly: Princess Diana

Daisuke: Ichiro Suzuki

Swansea: Alfred Nobel

Jimmy: Vahid Shamsaei

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We Make Teal.

This art is based off a Mouthwashing AU/source memories where Jimmy and Anya entered a FwB relationship before the events of the game to satisfy each other's needs during the trips, but it only got worse over the next 2 years as Jimmy got more paranoid and Anya got more attached to the feeling of ecstasy. Anya makes sense of not going to anyone else on the ship by saying that her and Jimmy have "similar struggles", such as gender and income. While they had contraceptives on the ship, Anya hated seeing and swallowing pills, so Jimmy helped crush up her pills.

After the Birthday Scene, he didn't administrator her pill. And he got her pregnant. "You should have told me stop," was what he said when he found out.

Blue and Green are complimentary colors and mix to make Teal, a color that symbolizes morality. Teal takes both Jimmy's (standoffish) and Anya's traits (supportive) and blends them into one.

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Jim.

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In the events of my timeline, there are a few things that are "canon-divergent" or alternative. Here, I'll list the ways how. Because they're not uploaded memories, there's no way for them to be more descriptive than is displayed here.

Zero days before the crash.

Anya told me about the pregnancy, I told her that she should have told me to "stop" and that she should have taken a contraceptive, which we have on the ship. I then told her to "take care of it" and left.

I immediately went to the memory bank and put the remainder of the memories from the past few days into their respective files. I then looked through Anya's memories and saw what had been memorized there. I left to go get the gun.

Curly had spoken to me about the pregnancy, which I recognized as a problem. We were going to lose nothing by heading back, none of us had anything, and Curly (while spaced out) agreed when I (falsely) interpreted his previous statements as a call for suicide. I told Curly that I'd "get us home" and I left to steer the ship.

The main factor that caused the crash wasn't because of the pregnancy or the dubious relationship, given that Anya wasn't going to report it, but because of my want to "test" everyone's abilities on the ship when faced with a situation such as this. "People have to be worth their titles."

When I crashed the ship, my face sustained a large wound from my eye to my forehead, leaving one eye slightly blurry.

Curly's burns were second-third degree burns from electrics and the foam sticking to it. Swansea had to get him loose because Anya threw up and Daisuke hit his head.

Two months after the crash.

The memory bank door was covered alongside the sleeping quarters, leaving behind the intact collection of memories. Swansea seems the angriest about this.

When Anya was sat on the ground, she said something additional - "I tried to take the pills afterwards, you know.." I asked her if she wanted me to help her this time. She said she felt nauseous at the idea, and left.

Me and Anya spent a lot more time together dealing with Curly. She doesn't distance herself, but makes plans to put boundaries between us unlike before. I was fine with her around.. uncomfortable with the fact that there was an innocent child on board.

Three months after the crash.

Anya told Swansea about the situation from beginning to end, starting 2 years ago when she began administering my HRT for me.

By this point, I'm experiencing worsening hallucinations of Anya (depicted as Polle) and Curly. I frequently leave to go to the cargo hold and the medbay, or sit by the cockpit while mumbling or writing in Anya's books.

Swansea and Daisuke are talking to each other more, but getting into louder arguments.

Four months after the crash.

I have officially moved my sleeping quarters to the cargo hold. Anya's was next to the polle statue, and the rest had theirs scattered around. Swansea practically slept beside utility.

When Anya was contemplating drinking the mouthwash, she tells me that it wouldn't "fix the situation", restating about the sugar content. I knew she couldn't swallow pills, but I didn't know it was that bad, which is when the guilt over the child had begun to enter the hallucinations.

Five months after the crash.

Anya knows the code for the gun, and she locks herself into the medbay.

I tell Anya that she's "betraying herself by hurting anyone," and that, "taking Curly with her is selfish."

She starts with something like "Jim, it's like you said... take care of it." and says "This isn't my worst moment, far from it, I am not a monster. I wanted you to change... I allowed this behavior. N

So no, I won't hurt him... but I know you want the gun.."

Anya unlocks medical while Daisuke leaves to fetch Swansea. "You can have it," she said right before shooting herself right in front of me.

Daisuke and a drunken Swansea return to the scene and this sparks another argument, with Swansea taking the axe and trying to kill me, but Daisuke getting in the middle.

With Daisuke and Anya dead, Swansea fights me once again. I overpower him by taking out his knee and then his head after his speech.

Judgment.

The hallucinations are getting worse, the bodies have been sitting for days, and Curly was taken out the medbay. Instead of immediately ending it, I waited for an additional month, surviving exclusively off cannibalism. Curly had begun to writhe in pain again, and again.

He was put into the cryopod and I waited for it to freeze up. And I just sat there contemplating whether or not I should do it. I've been writing and drawing in Anya's books, mostly retelling everything in a fucked up manner.

At some point, maybe another month, I ended up ending it at the dining table where the rest of them were after Curly was frozen.

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Log 3.

Anya Musume's Uploaded Memories (3/3)

___

I hid the gun from Jimmy. I told captain.

I don't think Curly will do anything about it. I don't want Jimmy on the ship if it means his mental health will get worse. I thought him and Swansea were the only sane ones here.. or at least.. closer to it.

I hid the case for the gun. I know the code. Jimmy had told me before.

I know the code for the gun case.

It would be easy to just kill him. To hurt myself.

But.. But I don't want that. I want the best. I want to go home.

Jimmy doesn't have to be punished. He needs to get help. I need to get this thing out of me.

He.. Oh god..

He knows the code to my memories. He knows.. He knows.. Oh god, Jim. Please don't hate me.

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Log 2.

Anya Musume's Uploaded Memories (2/3)

___

He told us.

What he was hiding the entire time. Captain told us clearly that were were being let go when we returned home. Daisuke was in here before me, which means that he probably has something to add... to his bank. He's thinking about what Jimmy said.

"Mommy put him on the ship with no setbacks."

He said it so loudly. Of course, who would forget? He's... he's just.. Jimmy can be fixed. Not in the way I propose. At least, not by me.

I'm tired of him yelling. I told captain. Captain didn't.. do anything about it.

And.. and I know he didn't.

Jim showed up to my room. I told him that I wasn't in the mood for sex, he said "you know what I'm here for."

And I asked him if he knew about captain's message beforehand. If he knew... if he knew. But Jimmy didn't answer it. We fought a little, then I did what he told me to do as long as he didn't bother me. He was upset about it, obviously. I would be too... but he took it too far, I think. He forced himself on me, rough, and hard, when I told him to be gentle and when I told him I didn't want it.

Pony Express allows anyone on the medical staff to keep contraceptive pills behind locked cases. I didn't get them before we started. I didn't take one the morning after. I.. I just couldn't swallow the pill. I couldn't deal with the sound of it. So I just... I waited it out. And I'm bloated, and I'm nauseous, and I'm sick...

I think I'm pregnant. I think I need to tell Jimmy. I think I should tell Jim and captain. I'm so tired of running from what the issue is.

I want to fix him, I want to prove myself capable just as he tests others. I know it's silly but its... it helps my brain and it helps my progress. Jimmy is capable. I'm tired of running from the issue.

I haven't spoken to Jimmy since he.. since he raped me. His paranoia is probably speaking to him.. I'm a horrible nurse. I can't even help someone close to me.

He made a mistake. He's not a monster. He can change, he can be fixed. He.. Jimmy can get better. He doesn't have to suffer. I can tell Curly to get me home. I won't press charges.. I just want him fixed.

I can't.. remember anything else. I can't remember what happened after.

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Log 1.

Anya Musume's Uploaded Memories (1/3)

___

A few days ago, I told Curly about me and Jimmy's situation. He seemed to be surprised but was willing to keep quiet as I requested.

I told Curly that I didn't find Jim to be.. appealing outside of sex. I know it went over his head again. He never hears me, just knows that I speak. I told him Jim's not pleasant to me. He yells and rants but covers it up with excuses about his tone.

I told my captain this... I tried to talk to him but he left. I told him that I barely had money. He just left to go find Jimmy.

I know I reached out to him for it. I wanted the sex. Yet, Jimmy was the only one I really could go to. He's around my age, he's queer like me, and he's... he's just better. He listens, he encourages me, and I find him presence safe.. but.. he has a problem and he doesn't want to fix it. He doesn't want my help even if I know I could... I could help him so bad.

Sex can't fix him. Maybe sex can make us feel better, but his problem.. something I know now.. can't be erased in 4 hours. I can't fix you, you won't let me..

I never knew how you felt until today. You made your bed here, though. You knew what this trip meant... In the last 6 years, you've been getting closer and closer to me while you take your medication. I'm trying to fix it with you and Curly.

Im trying to fix my mistake of trusting my body with you...

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Anya Musume & The PE Memory Bank

Total Uploads: 3

Total Unlocks: 3

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Log 1.

Log 2.

Log 3.

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Jimmy Zare & The PE Memory Bank

Total Uploads: 8

Total Unlocks: 14

___

Boarding.

Friendship.

Temptation.

Jealousy.

Wandering.

Pixel.

Broodmare.

Judgement.

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G. Curly & The PE Memory Bank

Total Uploads: 3

Total Unlocks: 4

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Escape.

Birthday.

Mistake.

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Judgement.

Jimmy Zare's Uploaded Memories (8/8)

___

We have nothing to lose.

I have nothing to lose.

Anya goes back home to a fatherless calf.

Swansea loses it all here.

Daisuke goes home a failure.

Curly climbs downwards with success.

And me. No.. I go home to a floor.

I go home to making DIY HRT, I go home to losing myself and my life, I go home to the fucking dirt of the earth. But he? He gets to climb still. When he gets back, he'll be considered the model fucking hero.

I immediately left the med bay to look for the memory bank. I needed to dump as many memories as fucking possible. They will not forget what the hell happened there.

It's her responsibility. It's her choice. It's her body. I can't tell her to... abort the calf. I wouldn't.. that's not right. It's her choice. She needs to fix it.

Oh god, they're watching me storm off.

I remember Curly just... passing right by me. He didn't even talk to me. He didn't even talk to me.

My heart was fucking pounding and my head hurts..

The only thing now. After this.. After this...

I saw a glimpse of her face too.

Anya...

I have her code to the bank.

I remember that now... of course I do...

She knows that I do.

She's not hiding anything. She wants me dead.

I remember needing something... that.. the case..

no.. the Gun.

Safety.

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Broodmare.

Jimmy Zare's Uploaded Memories (7/8)

___

The med bay door was locked. Anya was leaning on it while I sat on the cot. I couldn't bare to see her tears right now. Not right now. It was pathetic.

"You expect me to ignore all the times you had to look me in my face?"

"..."

"Open your mouth, nurse."

She just sniffled a little.

"What? Can't talk?" I just repositioned in the cot and struggled to find peace. She was planning something. I was on edge. I saw her talking to Curly and Swansea and Daisuke.

I see the way they fucking look at me.. they're planning something.

"Anya!"

"Jimmy, goddamnit! Just let me.. let me think!"

"You're wasting my time. Curly is out there about to steer us back to Earth over some soured feelings while you could be getting your pay for this trip. Why are you.. stopping me?"

I had gotten up and walked closer. She obviously flinched when I held her hip.

"What are you hiding?"

"Jim... Jim, this is.. I don't like this."

"What?"

"We can't keep doing this. No, we can't. Curly's.. he's trying to bring me back home before it's too late. We don't have supplies for it."

"Anya, for what?"

"I- I.. I'm.. can't you tell?"

"... No... Don't tell me you didn't take it."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. Don't you apologize to me... I.. He.. I didn't do this."

"Jim, I'm pregnant," she said it clearly, "I told Curly. He's trying to get me back home. I don't.. I don't want this."

"... You.."

"..."

"..."

"Jim?"

"You thanked me for it... You said you liked it. You said you wanted it."

"I.. I- Jimmy, I didn't want to make you angry -"

"Of course I'm fucking angry! This is gonna fuck up everything and you couldn't even tell me to stop. You had one job and that was take the fucking pill."

"I didn't.. You didn't.. I couldn't. You wouldn't let go of me.."

I just stopped. At that point, I just stopped and I breathed in and I stopped. I moved away, opened the door that was behind her.. and I whispered with a grip somewhere on her hair.

"Take care of it."

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Pixel.

Jimmy Zare's Uploaded Memories (6/8)

___

She was hiding from me again. Like she's been doing since our last time together.

This time, I swear I saw her speaking to Curly about something.. then she went to sit beside Daisuke for the rest of the day.

She hasn't even looked me in the eye...

Did I do something wrong? Why does she never tell me anything? Her mouth runs when it comes to every other man here but she looks at me and thinks nothing of my existence. She ignores me. Thinks I am not real.. just a tool for her pleasure.

She finds me repulsive. I'm sure of it.

After everything I did for her, for the past 6 years, she just drags me out just like Curly... fucking nurse.

This morning, she just handed Swansea a note so he could give it to me.

She was planning something for sure... what was she going to do?

She didn't... she didn't want it at that moment. But she told me to be gentle. That's what I did. She enjoyed it, she said thank you when i was finished. She said she was fulfilled when she was finished. What more does that fraud of a nurse want?

She's just toyingnwith my head. She's just messing with my head. She's just tricking Curly into believing whatever sob story.

She's just going to lie. I made a mistake even letting her near me.. I made a mistake. It was a mistake...

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Mistake.

G. Curly's Uploaded Memories (3/3)

___

"I just stare at the ceiling sometimes. Can't get the message out of my head."

"I like the nighttime screen. Its.. peaceful. There's beauty in the darkness. But, there's a dead pixel in the upper right corner."

"Hm? Ahh.. I don't see it? Maybe I'm going blind."

"Hah.. when I look.. in the back of my mind, it's just there... standing and waiting."

"Maybe I'm just used to looking at the bigger picture, Anya."

"... How many days do we have left?"

"Around 237 days.. Jim would know better than -"

"Eight months."

"Oh... uhm -"

"Captain... Why do you think Pony Express put a lock on the medical room door but not in the sleeping quarters?"

"Hmm.. I suppose for the same reason they put a lock on the cockpit."

"..."

"Safety."

(memory gap.)

"For fuck's sake! Us being let go isn’t a reason to hurt yourself!"

"..."

"You could have come to me if you were feeling stressed."

"What would you have done...?"

"Anything! Anya, I would have done anything for any of you. I've told you this over and over, yeah?"

"Captain... words don't equal action.."

"..."

"I'm not going to hurt myself, no. I can't even open it. I just hid the case..."

"T-tell me where you put it. We can figure this out together, nothing has to go on any record -"

"Curly, I'm pregnant."

"... You're what? Wait what.. Anya, how did-"

"I told you... remember?"

"Listen, Anya... We can fix this. I've known Jim for a long time. I'll talk to him, I swear."

"I know it now.. you'd never let me protect myself with it. The least I can do... is make sure he never gets it either..."

"You.. you think he's going to hurt himself?"

"... He's your friend, captain."

(memory gap.)

"... Jim."

"Curly."

"... We're making it back home. All of us, without fault. All of us need to head back home. I.. I'm thinking about turning the ship around."

"What."

"I'm thinking about taking us back home. I want to go home, I want to just get and find somewhere new - I can't.. I can't be in space right now."

"Curly, seriously? You are our captain. Get it the fuck together."

"Jimmy, I just can't! I can't.. let this happen."

"Let what happen? We need our pay, we need this money, we cannot just return home. The only person who benefits from that is you!"

"That's not true! Daisuke goes home to his parents, Swansea goes to his wife, you and Anya.. can find something worth while! You know this is bullshit, we shouldn't just take the abuse laying down."

"... We're not turning around this ship. As your co-pilot, I will not aide you in fucking us all over."

"Then... then get the fuck out."

"Gladly."

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Wandering.

Jimmy Zare's Uploaded Memories (5/8)

___

I was up because I was the one who couldn't sleep.

Curly just dropped the fucking bombshell of our lives and he's actually sleeping this time.

But no, the roles are reversed. I'm the one awake that night. So I wander the hallways. I open doors ans close them. I went into medical just to read a few books, nothing was interesting. I looked through some of Anya's stuff, I even read over some notes she left open..

Daisuke was too excited for this job, a job he wasn't qualified for. Swansea went on a long rant.. not surprising. I couldn't bare to see Curly's name. And Anya... Anya never had any psych evals done on her.

I remembered just looking up and seeing a sticky note. It was of me. I don't know who drew it but I'd have to ask Anya. My blood boiled.

"Fucking nurse..."

Curly knew she needed that chance. Curly knew she needed medical school. Curly knew.. and he still hit us with that news.

She's probably awake right now.

So I went to go check. And I picked up the chair from the dining room. And I went to her rooom.

"Jim?"

"You're awake, a surprise. And you're studying.."

"Yeah.. Yeah, I am. I.. did you know Curly was going to say all that? W-what did he tell you?"

"Let me ask a question first," I stopped her and walked in, her face changed when she saw the chair, "What kind of ideas are you instilling in his head where it makes him believe he can just get up and rinse us off like that?"

"What? Jimmy, I-"

"Secondly, you let someone sleep-deprived do my psych eval knowing damn well it's your job," I hook the chair under the long door handle, "Why? Did you not want to see me? Am I doing something wrong? Anya, I'm right here, you can tell me anything."

She just sighed calmly with the book in her hands.

"Jim, I don't think he's been.. honest with me. He didn't tell me anything of what you told me, and if he did, I would have done my part to help. I.. I've been studying and its actually helping me. His mental state is deteriorating, and this letter from management.. it won't help-"

I came forward, and I had tossed the book from her hands.

"Forget the book, Anya," I practically hissed at her, "God damn, do you listen? He wants to get rid of us."

Her calm demeanor had immediately subsided when I did that. So she just started shaking. And shaking. A few tears.

"He wouldn't do that... He wouldn't.. He's not right at the moment but he just wouldn't do that. Not to us.. not to me."

"What was that?"

"He... Captain wouldn't deliberately use the knowledge of others to sabotage them.. he just isn't like.. you."

"Hah! You think I have a problem now? Are you finally thinking about cracking me open?"

She whimpered.

"Jim... you know you have a problem. We both do - its why we.. connected like that," she tried to explain more, "Our living situations, our gender identity, financial struggles... I.. I relate to you. Jim, I sympathize."

"I don't need your fucking pity."

"Its not pity... I really.. I really want the best for everyone."

"..."

"Jim...?"

"You didn't even ask me if I wanted him to know," I furrowed my brows there and ordered her, "You know what I came here for... get on your knees."

Anya had shock on her face while trying to get me away from her.

"Jim, no.. I don't.. My whole mood is ruined.. please. Can we do this another time?"

"If you take care of it.. you won't have to worry about doing my psych evals. You won't have to see me or ask my opinion on things. You won't even have to betray me.."

"B-betray...?"

"I said what I said. A deal's a deal?"

"... I don't want to."

"That's the point."

"..."

"....."

"... Please be gentle."

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Jealousy.

Jimmy Zare's Uploaded Memories (4/8)

___

I left the sleeping quarters properly dressed, real late. Woke up Daisuke and Swansea and got captain to sit in the cockpit and stay still for once. After that, me and Anya had begun setting up the decorations for Curly's birthday party.

Swansea hated festivities, but the cake was the best part.

Daisuke had to be taped on his mouth so he'd shut up. Not by me, by Swansea.

Anya was cheesing while looking for pictures of Curly to set up... she was smiling a little too hard. A littke too close for comfort. When she spoke about him it was like endearment, it was respect and with a cadance where she didn't... shake and tremble too hard.

I just remember getting frustrated and watching the rest of them set up from the couch. I didn't want to ruin her happy smile and Swansea's already deteriorating morning mood.

God, I see the way they look at me like I'm not supposed to be helping. We've been on this ship for 6 years together and they can't even just.. look at me with the same respect they do Curly. On my birthday, they just made the horrible cake and they made me cut it and say a speech. The only thing I said was "Never throw a surprise party for me again," and maybe it was my tone that made them uncomfortable..

maybe im just so bad of a co-pilot that they don't want me around. Curly doesn't even want me in the position, he's trying to make me take his job. Everything has to go through him, everything... this cake, this party, these reports.. everything. He has the power, he has the ability to simply fight and stop it. He was the ability to take our jobs one by one and replace us..

He's replacing my role as co-pilot.. but he can't deny that I'm better as a main pilot. He can't deny my own abilities when I tell him that I want to persue it. That I want to climb higher and higher. Own a successful business one day.

I don't like being controlled. Why would anyone?

"...Jim?"

Anya had interrupted my thoughts at that point.

"Hmm?"

"I... we, uhm-"

"Use your mouth."

"... We completed the decorations," she added, "I'm sorry, you just looked angry while you were thinking."

"... Sorry. I'm not mad at you, I'm just pondering. Haah."

"Yeah? Oh, uhm, about what?"

The others were minding their own business. So Anya touched her hand to my arm. I let it happen. She felt safe beside someone else. Just.. let it happen.

I clenched up at the random touch still, "... You. What we're doing all of this for."

"Heh.. about me? I don't know, Jim. You sound more obsessed than you'd like to think."

"Shut up," I said before getting up. I then whispered, "I'm getting a chair next time."

Her face dropped. She knew what I was talking about. The sudden appearance of Curly that night. God, he can't just stay away for more than an hour? Just let me have anything?

I know a solution.

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Temptation.

Jimmy Zare's Uploaded Memories (3/8)

___

"You know you don't have to do this."

"... What?"

"You don't have to force yourself to be close to me, Anya."

"No.. no. It's... my choice..."

She looked at me weird so I threw a weird look back, but that startled her.

"Jim..."

"What did I do now?"

"Nothing.. just... I- I uhm.. I told Curly about our situation. He said he wouldn't tell anyone..."

"What."

"Please don't overreact -"

My hand swung when I pulled her closer, "Why did you say a word? What? Does Swansea know too? Anya, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"I- I- I just.. he's our captain. He has to know!"

She was a little loud. So I covered her mouth. The sleeping quarters had no locks on them, anyone could've walked in.

"He never needed to know we were doing this. What are you trying to do, get rid of me?"

"Jim... I'm sorry," her face had contorted, "I didn't.. I didn't mean to."

"Good. At least you have the brain to apologize," I said.

She just laid on my chest, silently, for the remainder of the night. I couldn't find the meaning of it. Tell Curly, then what? He'll get rid of me for sure. He's selfish, he's inconsiderate.

"..."

"Jimmy?"

"What do you want?"

"... I feel safe with you."

Safety.

"I feel safe. I can't sleep... alone. I just can't."

"..."

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, Anya. I'm just surprised. You're a nurse."

"I.. I am.."

"You know I don't mean to be like this."

"I know... I know."

"... Who's birthday is next?"

"I think it's.. Captain's birthday."

"Of course."

"... Jim, we could always celebrate your birthday."

"No. You all know I don't like surprise parties. It's cringe."

She found me to be safe. I'm safe. I'm safe for her.

My hand grabbed her waist a little, moving Anya even closer and then smiling when she made a noise.

"Hmph..."

"Mhmm."

"Why me?" I asked something like thst but she hadn't heard me. "Anya, why me?"

Eyes towards me this time, she says, "Why.. what?"

"Curly's well off, he's looking for new prospects. Why me? Why am I laying in your bed? Why am I here with you?"

"... We... we have similar struggles, Jim. I don't.. relate to the captain a lot. He seems to see through me.. at least you.. you at least find a way to listen. Even in your own way."

"Hmng."

"..."

"..."

"...?"

"You should focus on the psychology books... Put down the others. Just focus and don't mess up."

"Don't mess up..."

"Don't. Just take care of your situation. You don't need hand outs or help. Surely, you don't need Curly's either."

"... No."

"Then," I paused after I heard a door open down the hall, "Then do as I say. The only useful quality I find in you is your mind. How you think, what changes you. I like toying with that, it's for fun. You're smart, but I don't think you deserve to be here."

"... Just me or everyone else..?"

"Mostly you and Curly."

She sighed and laid back down. I remember feeling hear breath on me as she fell asleep, some drool on her lip, and her nails in my hair. She was comfortable like this. She was.

Until the door opened and the hatch was pulled and I could see the light in his eyes dim.

"Anya, have you seen-" Curly had then saw me, "Jimmy!"

He had began to back out the door a little until I said something along the lines of, "Oh no, Curly, come back. If you can tell her, you can tell me."

He was uncomfortable like this. Seeing his best friend laid up with someone he'd so easily could have gotten. This mare he'd talk about in his sleep. This mare he'd make so many smiles at. I saw the way he looked at me then... it was genuine surprise.

He thought we were lying, huh? Good thing blankets were invented.

The so-called nurse had shoved her entire body into the blanket, trying not to reveal me at the same time, only wishing to not have this conversation now.

"Captain!"

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry."

I just laughed and slowly got up, tossing Anya's clothing at her and shaking my head, "Curly, what do you need this time of night? People make stupid decisions when they haven't slept."

"I- I was looking for you, Jim. Look, just... I need you in the cockpit."

My face straightened at him, I remember that, "Can't navigate without me? Put it on autopilot?"

"It's... it's something more than that. Jim, just... get dressed first."

"Uh huh," I said while dressing in the mandated uniform and my long white sleeve. I didn't care about putting my boxers back on, it didn't matter.

I simply followed Curly to the cockpit. I simply followed..

(memory gap.)

"I hated that."

I remember the reason he called me down there was for an emergency drill that he had constructed in case ... of emergency. Just for me to assume control if anything were to happen to him. His usual sleep-deprived antics.

"Hey, you needed a refresher," he added, "I've been taking the mantle from you a lot, just because I... want to go home a bit quicker, but again, I'd like to give you some pointers on being a main pilot."

I stare directly at him, "Seriously, what is wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong! At least, it's not affecting my piloting because we are getting there as fast as possible. I'd just.. like to get home."

I scoffed and waved my hand, "Swansea and now you? This is your job, you two know that. Pony Express at least gives you some leeway when they cut corners."

Curly immediately furrowed his brows, "What did Swansea say?"

"He said something to me about bringing Daisuke back home safely, that he doesn't want him on the ship, blah, blah.."

"... I can agree to an extent. Its been stressful cleaning up the mess that no one else can clean up. It's why you're my co-pilot, Jim. I trust you to help me. Its good Swansea told you, you remember more than I do."

"And I use the memory bank more than you do."

"Ah. How is that, by the way? I did it once but it actually stopped halfway because it was too much.."

"... The colors hurt my eyes... but if you stay still for a second, all the sound just disappears and you feel a little better. Just a little. That's just my experience though. Daisuke thinks the thing is a toy and always ends up in there before I do."

"..."

"...?"

"Sorry, sorry. Uhm, I think you'll get the hang of this though. Just switching between main pilot and co-pilot. One day, you might even be captain of your own ship!"

"Hah. You got humor, Curly."