sourtides

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Send tumblr apocalypse Nudes and Numbers

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I'll send a dick picture to anyone who votes Dem in the midterms. if you help flip a Senate seat, I'll send you any kind of newd you want

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Reblog if you agree

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Hi, you're beautiful

Hi hello hai thanks.

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My aunt took this picture of me at a family party, and I'm going to use it as my gay-app profile picture. Thanks Aunt Carol!!! I'll let you know if it increases the number of unsolicited hole pics i get

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There is no difference between cruising and trying to start a raid with a stranger. Thank you for attending my Ted Talk

gay culture is still playing pokemon go

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Had some wine. Played Dream Daddy. Are you ready for this.

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I regret not buying the white one

my super conservative Christian aunt gave me a dumb shirt from Macy’s for my birthday and I’m just now returning it (for store credit only) AND MACY’S CARRIES MESH TANK TOPS AND SHIRTS, and obviously my gay ass needs to replace the wholesome Christian nonsense she got me with something that advertises that I’m versatile and into bears, BUT WHICH MESH SHIRT SAYS THAT THE MOST!?

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Boyfriend: what would you do if you were wealth--

Me: BOIL ALL MY PASTA IN LA CROIX!

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I hate how everyone's body is wired differently. Like, you walk in thinking "I'm going to turn on the lights. He'll really like that." And he's all "actually, that switch is for the garbage disposal. It's really loud and annoying. Pls stop."

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None of my plants have names because I'm a monster

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😅💦

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Honestly, I'm offended by how infrequently I'm offered meth on dating apps

I mean gross... but still...

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I watch Drag Race now.

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An incomplete list of cartoon characters i would fuck:

-Mr. Incredible

-that tiger from zootopia who would treat you right

-wreck it Ralph

-Bolin