spacedponies

[spacedponies]

what’s your deal?

I cant quite pin it, you’re very smart, I’ll give ya that. But was this all for naught? I know I am not yours, I never claimed to be. But don’t treat me well and then rip the rug from under me. Don’t make me laugh and kiss me gently in the secret moments we share at work. And then treat me like I am not special. It’s like you cant help yourself. You’re constantly teetering between loving me and letting me know I am not wanted or needed. You’re so cold sometimes. so icy. Just today you said that you’d rather me not say anything at all because “apologizing doesn’t do much”. First of all, fuck you. I wasn’t apologizing when I said I was sorry that you were restless, asshole. I was offering my condolences. Because I can’t imagine how miserable it must be sometimes to have to work yourself to death in order to sleep at night. 

I realize that condolences aren’t as effective as you (nor I) would like them to be but as I said earlier, words are usually all I have to offer you. I don’t want you to feel alone. And although I am not experiencing the same things you are, I recognize how they affect you and I care enough about you to ask questions such as; have you had a sleep study, do you take medication, what does your mom think of your work habits? It’s like...you never stop to smell the roses because you’re too busy cutting mine in half. And by the way, I find it really ironic how you told me in the stillness of your car how much you love that I am always in a good mood and always happy, when you do nothing to contribute to my happiness. You never say hi to me at work but you don’t mind yelling “look at that ass” after me when you’re with your friends. You’re 24. What the fuck are you doing? Where are you going? and why am I still so into you? your smile makes me smile and I can always tell when you’re extra tired. I love that you’re sour and call me out on my bullshit. But everything in between has been hurting me. I am always attracted to guys you don’t give me their all, because that only makes me want to work extra hard and be extra good so that I can get it. But I never do. The effort is never reciprocated. 

And by effort, please dont get me wrong, I acknowledge that you and I have been texting for the majority of our days, everyday for the past two months. And all three times we’ve hung out you have picked me up in the town over and paid for my meals. And for that, thank you. But unfortunately, my love, that is the bare minimum. And even I, a love-blind idiot, can see that. 

So I am making another unspoken deal with you right here, right now. I am willing to let you go. I dont want to, obviously. But I think that I need more than you’re able to give me. And that’s ok. I have already emotionally prepared myself for you to pretend not to care when we finally part ways. If we ever do completely. Which, over course, I hope we dont. I want to stay friends. I like you as a person, I might even love you. But it just...doesn’t seem like you like me all that much :/ you’re not that nice to me. And maybe that’s just who you truly are, in that case, I will feel even better and more at ease with letting you go. But if there is any shrivel  of realness and love and vulnerability that you have to offer me, fucking GIVE IT TO ME. I deserve it. I am not saying give me your all, at once. But what I am asking is for you to handle my emotions with care the same way I do yours. And for you to give me credit where it’s due. You’re not the easiest person to bond with or get to know. You say some genuinely hurtful shit sometimes and I have already accepted the fact that you just will never be as pleased to see me as I am to see you. 

I don’t really know what the point of this was, I guess to let you know that if you don’t get your shit together, I’m out. And I will go from keeping you at the center and fucking some dudes on the side, to you not even being in my rotation. That’s not a threat, or a brag,as if my circle is just “the place” to be. But what I am saying is that I have a lot to offer and I’ve treated you really well. And I deserve the same. 

-T

[spacedponies]

I went to my garden, and the plants listened as they always do.

[spacedponies]

[spacedponies]

Somebody’s grandma is sick of the bullshit lol

[spacedponies]

harry potter and the goblet of mountain dew code red

[spacedponies]

[spacedponies]

Do other witches dream of a fully functional tea garden of their own? Grapefruit mint is the prettiest mint I have ever grown, and also one of the tastiest. It’s nice to see it mentioned somewhere!

The-Wiccans-Glossary

[spacedponies]

honor™

[spacedponies]

[spacedponies]

Get his billionaire ass

[spacedponies]

[spacedponies]

[spacedponies]

“I always think of you before I fall asleep. The words you said, the way you looked. The things we laughed about, the silent moments we shared. And when I dream, I’ll dream of you. Because it’s about you, it’s always about you.”

— Unknown  (via thelovejournals)

[spacedponies]

Bugs Bunny accidentally transformed the word nimrod into a synonym for idiot because nobody got a joke where he sarcastically compared Elmer Fudd to the Biblical figure Nimrod, a mighty hunter.

[spacedponies]

miguel

dude i dont even fucking know what to say about you. I thought about writing about you in my dream journal but I’m not ready to manifest you. So here you are. On this tiny tumblr post no-one will ever see. If you do happen to see this (you should go try the lottery with those odds first of all) hi! I really like you. I think I’m falling for you and it’s terrifying because I doubt you’ll be there for me the way I need. And it’s nothing personal, or maybe it is. I could blame it on you being a gemini but the realist in me knows it’s because you’re too smart for your own good and you have trust issues-typical lmao. you’re a guy in his twenties, what should I expect? but onto the fluffy stuff, I like that you use hair gel. lol. does it make sense? no. but even tho you work in the back and sweat your ass off everyday and wear dirty white sneakers you still always smell good and your hair is always done. And I appreciate it. I like that you’re as smart as I am- if not a little more so in some areas- it was hard to admit that at first but now I admit it freely and have even told you. In fact, if you were actually to ever read this I don’t think that you would be surprised by any of this. We text every day, in fact I think my phone just vibrated my bed. the way your energy vibrates my pussy. oops it got sexual but it always does. I like that you try to make me cum every time I see you now. you touch me and talk to me in ways that I didn’t know I longed for. You whisper my name in my ear and I melt on your car seat. your tan skin gripping my creamy white curves. I wish you’d kiss me forever. You bite my lip and my throat and I am so grateful. I wish you’d fuck me but every time I ask you “why not?” you say “I don’t want to ruin this.” I couldn’t agree more. But I want you, I crave you. I want you to quench my thirst, I wan’t to show you what I feel for you with my body. Maybe that’s too much, and maybe that’s just the scorpio in me or maybe I’m love-starved. Maybe that’s why when you cup my face in your hands and pull me back into your arms it sends me into an orbit around that big bright star, and it’s just you and I. we love each other in secret. that’s right, I said it. I may not be in love with you yet but I do love you. you’re one of my closest friends and I hope that we continue. and I make this quiet promise to you and to myself now that even if the sex is awkward or we fuck with each other’s hearts too much, that we remain friends the best we can. because that’s what real love is. we flirt with each other at work. we may get too close to each other and some people give us a funny look, but I don’t care, it makes my heart pound. I love that you don’t care either. you do what you want. you take what you want, and you said so yourself “I want you”. so take me.

[spacedponies]

Broke: Coming out of the closet

WOKE: Containment Breach

[spacedponies]

Is this what hell looks like