sparklecryptid - Tumblr blog

[sparklecryptid]

Hu Tao: you have a type

Zhongli: *in the middle of a Childe and Inna sandwich* I have no idea what you are talking about

[sparklecryptid]

ok i’m curious

[sparklecryptid]

Inna: so I found out that Furina was forced to play the part of a god for hundreds of years despite being human

Inna: and I took that personally

(For real Inna and Neuvillette form the Furina protection squad.)

[sparklecryptid]

Halin: so anyway I decided to follow Lady Celebrian and the Blond Bastard back to Imladris-

Daeron: so that’s how you wound up here? Huh.

Halin: yeah, pretty much. Anyway why are you here.

Daeron: Elurin and Elured are here.

Halin: what.

Daeron: the twins are here and would be delighted to-

Halin: I need to leave right now immediately

[sparklecryptid]

Inna: so anyway I finished resurrecting Qiqi-

Childe: what

Zhongli: …. I don’t think that’s allowed. I’m glad you did so. But that is very much not allowed.

Inna: - I’m Snezhnayan I don’t give a damn if it’s allowed or not - anyway so Qiqi is alive again and I’m taking her, Yaoyao, and Baizhu out for dinner.

[sparklecryptid]

Childe: *looking at Inna* I could take him

Vlad: in a fight right?

Childe: I could take him.

Vlad: in a fight right?

[sparklecryptid]

WAIT WAIT WAIT

earth, flowers, and water are all things that make up a garden

I dub the zhongli/childe/inna ship

Gardenshipping

I know I have volunteering tomorrow (today it’s past midnight) at 10 but brain is going BRRRRR

alas time to take it out on poor inna

[sparklecryptid]

Riding the wave of mania at 12:40 to inform you that it takes Inna threatening Childe with Intense Violence for Childe to go ‘oh that’s hot. He’s hot and my feelings are definitely Not Platonic’

Meanwhile Zhongli it’s more ‘I am immensely curious about this little flower guy, I wonder what he can do- he just turned a guy to mulch. And now he’s giving me a flower that grew from said mulch pile. I know this is a threat but I like him.’

[sparklecryptid]

Every time I try to think of a ship name for him it doesn’t go well or sounds vaguely pretentious like

‘Flowers amidst a sea of rocks’ or

Wait

Wait

I could name them lakeside rock garden

It would be hilarious

I know I have volunteering tomorrow (today it’s past midnight) at 10 but brain is going BRRRRR

alas time to take it out on poor inna

[sparklecryptid]

hey hey hey

Assigning you a song that makes white people go nuts (from experience)

[sparklecryptid]

I know I have volunteering tomorrow (today it’s past midnight) at 10 but brain is going BRRRRR

alas time to take it out on poor inna

[sparklecryptid]

….i miss cassiodor :(

[sparklecryptid]

i must not stir the pot. stirring the pot is the notifications-killer. participation in the discourse is the little-death that brings total activity obliteration. i will face the bad opinions on the internet. i will permit them to pass over me and through me. and when they have gone past, i will turn the block button onto their source. where the discourse has come from there will be nothing. only i will remain.

[sparklecryptid]

My grandmother heals quicker than you lot and she has osteoporosis

[sparklecryptid]

guy who has chronic pain and fatigue: man why can't i do more stuff

[sparklecryptid]

"The gods' chosen" "the gods' champion" no that's the god's little wind up toy. The gods' chew toy. The gods' favorite barbie doll

[sparklecryptid]

I love the idea of Gil-Galad just being A Guy while Elrond and Celebrimbor are insane, actually.

Consider;

Elrond, so pissed that the indoor plants are rattling: Fuck That Courtier 👁️⭐️🗡️

Gil-Galad, wondering if he can still eat his salad if it’s sprouted ominous flowers: Yeah, what a bitch.

And

Celebrimbor, setting a jar on Gil-Galad’s desk: I have discovered a new chemical 😁

The Chemical™️: *eats through the jar, eats through Gil-Galad’s desk, sizzling as it tries to eat through the stone flooring*

Gil-Galad, seeing an Opportunity: can you move the jar a little to the left? That’s where the complaints from Lord Oropher are stacked.

Love the idea of Gil being a regular dude while his alleged cousins are the resident eldritch horror and the mad scientist next door.