sparklesthefatcat

[sparklesthefatcat]

[sparklesthefatcat]

Hot take but I really do think that some of y’all need to consider how/why/when/how often you’re making fun of straight people for being straight

I do it too, I’m not going to pretend I don’t make jokes about the hets, or the down with cis bus, or whatever

But I recently befriended a cis, straight dude and I have watched him be dismissed, degraded, and unambiguously insulted for the perceived “crime” of being straight — all in queer environments where he is allegedly “completely welcome” and surrounded by “friends”

This guy is not a toxic person! But I have seen him be made to feel so small and like his comfort and safety in those spaces are conditional on his silence and acceptance of being treated like a human dunk zone, and I think that some of y’all have had so much shit from straight/cis people that the second you feel like you’ve got an inch, you want to luxuriate in the perceived catharsis of bullying someone who— actually —doesn’t deserve it

And until he very, very carefully mentioned to me in private that it makes him feel bad, I didn’t even clock that I was involved in doing that, that it had become so instinctive for me to make casual jokes like that, and that— well meaning or otherwise —I had been contributing to an environment that made someone I really really like feel like shit

So, I dunno, I think maybe some of y’all should think about that too

[sparklesthefatcat]

me, 5 chapters into three-body problem: ... so do we think shi qiang and wang miao ever explored each other's bodies or

[sparklesthefatcat]

My Mum demanded! I drew an Otter. So here is an otter.

[sparklesthefatcat]

In my experience if youre an atheist there will be many, many times in life when you are faced with the dilemma that is "i really like this person, but their religion is so woven into the fabric of who they are that I can not voice my own beliefs around them without them taking it personally and, in a lot of cases, morally." When you are faced with this dilemma, you can either shut up and never voice your own beliefs while they continue to voice theirs unimpeded, or you can risk them seeing you as a bitch.

And im telling you right now from personal experience to always choose being a bitch. No matter how much you like someone, if they can voice their beliefs freely but your own have to be locked up tight while they begrudgingly tolerate them, that's an unhealthy dynamic that is going to boil up and explode one day. And im also telling you from experience that when that explosion happens, the religious person is the one whose side everybody takes, because as an atheist you are seen as inherently aggressive and bigoted towards religious and spiritual people even and especially in "progressive" spaces.

This is not limited to religion either, this also includes if your witchy friend is allowed to talk all day about your star chart and how it determines your personality but you saying "I dont believe in spirits or astrology or spells" sends them into a death spiral

[sparklesthefatcat]

i've had so many conversations with people in fandom/creators' circles who are genuinely afraid to make the stories or art they want because they fear (often with good reason!) that their friends might kick them out of their circles, or worse, launch a public harassment campaign against them.

as someone recovering from this fear-based mindset, i want to affirm:

- friends who use implicit or explicit threats to maintain social control are not your friends

- communities that monitor your social media and ao3 to surveil you for perceived transgressive content are not safe communities

- the vast majority of people are NOT going to hate you if you make the art you want

- if you find yourself in a friend group that makes you feel afraid to speak your mind, it's in your interest to disentangle yourself from that group as quickly as possible

- real, honest disagreements between friends can be solved respectfully without the use of public shaming

- if you're feeling afraid in a community, it's likely that others are feeling afraid too. support your friends who may be struggling to leave an abusive fan or creative community, and let them know you're a safe person to voice doubts and disagreement to.

- if you're feeling like you'll never find a safer community of people, i promise there are others who feel that way too. it may take some time, but you'll find people who treat you and your ideas with respect. a good place to start is the people who make the type of art that you admire but that you're too afraid to make yourself.

ok that's all, take care of each other and be nice 💜

[sparklesthefatcat]

knowledge long forgotten

got really into reading item descriptions on this playthrough. anyway did you know the silent princess is one of the only raw materials with a cooking effect to not explicitly list that effect in its description

[sparklesthefatcat]

I have never been on the same page as fandom’s clear communication fetishists and I never will be. I love miscommunication, concealment, pigheadedness, and lies. I think characters should talk around what they have to say and ignore each other and impute needs and beliefs onto others that have nothing to do with those other people and everything to do with maintenance of the ego. A little clear communication is fine but it should come at the end and be earned by repeated instances of snobbery, tomfoolery, self righteousness, or blockheadedness. If you decide you hate a character just because that character isn’t communicating in the way a therapist might coach them to, well consider that people don’t actually talk like that at all and that most of us get things wrong many times before we inch our way out of the labyrinthine darkness of our own heads.

[sparklesthefatcat]

My ethics professor once told our class that society justifies hating fat people by saying they overburden the healthcare system but no one uses that excuse to hate high level athletes who also disproportionately use the healthcare system

[sparklesthefatcat]

learning that addiction is a progressive narrowing of the range of things that make one happy was kinda life changing for me. i apply it to everything not even just addiction i am always checking to ask if i am narrowing my range of happiness or widening it

[sparklesthefatcat]

funniest bit in Conclave by far is Cardinal Vincent Benítez, the only normal person in a 5 mile radius, getting up in a room full of Cardinals and going, "you are all petty, mean and a bit weird, and inshallah I shall not return here ever again" and 118 cardinals were like damn, he's right, we can't let him escape

[sparklesthefatcat]

reading poetry forces you to ask wrenching, necessary, impossible questions, like "is the author stupid? or am I?"

[sparklesthefatcat]

Happy National Library Week!! A great time to ask everyone you know if they have a library card.

[sparklesthefatcat]

last night in my dream they picked a new pope and he was from long island and almost everyone was upset about it

[sparklesthefatcat]

[sparklesthefatcat]

Someone in that poll said not to watch naruto bc it's queerbait and I hate to tell you this but naruto wasn't trying to queerbait you it's actually the number 1 example of "text is so misogynistic it becomes gay"