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sparklingchan · 8 days
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STRAY KIDS ROYAL AU
MASTERLIST
1. Bang Chan- Work in progress
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2. Lee Minho- The way I love you
Description: He was a prince who was bound by his duty to the country. She was a harlot, longing for someone to love her. In stolen moments beneath the moonlit city, the two of them dared to dream of a love meant to be.
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3. Seo Changbin- Serendipity
Description: The King of Joseon had chosen you as his queen. But there are those that wish for this union to fail. Will your love be enough to overcome the competitiveness of the Palace?
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4. Hwang Hyunjin - Echoes
Description: One day, you’re a college student, barely making it through your finals. And the next, you wake up in a palace, married to the most beautiful man on earth. What the hell is happening?!
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5. Han Jisung- Work in progress
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6. Lee Felix- Work in progress
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7. Kim Seungmin- A Duel of Hearts
Caught in a dilemma of affection, Kim Seungmin, a prince, finds himself drawn to you. There was but one obstacle to his pursuit —you’ve set a single condition for all potential suitors: no royal lineage.
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8. Yang Jeongin- Work in progress
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sparklingchan · 8 days
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Serendipity || Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)
Pairing: Reader(fem.) X Changbin
Word Count: 5.4k+
Warnings: Suggestive, mentions of pregnancy (the reader is not pregnant) , mentions of poison, Changbin is sweeter than sugar. Set in the Joseon Era.
Genre: Royal AU, Arranged marriage AU, fluff with very slight angst.
Description: The King of Joseon had chosen you as his queen. But there are those that wish for this union to fail. Will your love be enough to overcome the competitiveness of the Palace?
A/N: Hello everyone! Back with another installation of the SKZ Royal AU. I am genuinely in love with this one ngl. King Changbin is a rizzler y'all. Hope you guys have fun reading this <3
Do check out the other fics in the skz royal series. (The stories are not interrelated)
Here's the link to the masterlist.
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Being a woman in this country is not an easy task. Especially when one is a candidate for the position of the country's Queen.
You'd dreamt of this for years, the idea sewn into every thought by your father even since you were child. With time, you'd welcomed the thought without a complaint.
"My lady, the Royal messenger is here." Somi informs you, and your nervousness just goes up by a thousand.
Did you manage to become the Queen and make your father proud? Or did you get disqualified and were now just a daughter of some minister and free to marry any other commoner like yourself?
You run down the hallway and enter the pavillion in front of your house, the colorful banners of the Royal entourage shine under the bright sun.
You straighten your robes and kneel down, head almost touching the ground, as a mark of respect for the King's verdict.
The chief Eunuch opens up the scroll in his hands.
"Please find enclosed the Royal Edict from the King's Court:
I, Seo Changbin, the King of Joseon, have chosen Miss y/n of House Kim as my wife and, by extension, the Queen of our beloved country. I have consulted the three High State Councilors and my mother- the Queen Dowager about the same and we have all unanimously agreed that she would be the best choice for the country as well as the Royal family, owing it all to her wits, beauty and manners.
Congratulations to Miss y/n and her family.
The Royal family would also like to extend an invitation to the bride-to-be to shift into the Detached Palace at the earliest as part of the customary pre wedding ritual. "
It feels as if someone had punched out the air from your lungs, you couldn't speak nor stand, while your parents and brother continuously thanked the Royal Eunuch, accepting all the gifts sent by the Palace for you.
But you couldn't move. You just stayed there, frozen. For life as you had known it has come to an end.
And thereafter begins a new, Royal chapter of your life.
*
"I'm going to miss you, my child."
The days since the Edict pass by in a heartbeat. All the members of your family were busy with packing your belongings while you were busy with mentally preparing yourself to leave your family and house behind forever.
Yes, you'd always wanted to be a Queen. Yes, you'd spent years getting ready for this role. Yet when the time finally comes, it hurts you to think about leaving behind twenty three years of your life.
"I'm going to miss you too, mother." On hearing your words, your mother cries harder.
But as usual, your father shows no emotion. His face is calm.
"Remember, y/n, there are no friends in the Palace other than your husband. You cannot confide in anyone but him. The other concubines will do anything to gain his favor, but you shall always be a step ahead. Be vigilant and loyal. You will make a great Queen." He says. Like the strategist he'd always been.
"Yes, father." You reply, swallowing the lump in your throat.
Your mother clinges to your arm.
"We will try and visit you whenever we can. I'm sure his Majesty will allow."
"Yes, of course. You can visit me anytime. The Palace is only a few hours from here."
"Oh, my child! How will I ever live without you!" Another sob tears out from your mother's throat. You hug her with all the love and care you could muster up in that moment.
Your father walks out of the room, hands behind his back and face twisted into a frown.
*
The Detached Palace is to be a temporary residence for the bride-to-be. For over the next thirty days, you would be receiving lessons on various subjects like history, Royal Etiquette, sewing, cooking and most importantly- lessons on intimacy. The last lesson is considered most important, according to Somi, since it allows you to birth as many healthy heirs as possible.
After helping you dress up for the night and setting up your bed, your maids take your leave for the night, only Somi remaining by your side.
"Do you think I'll see the King tomorrow? It's queer but I'd like to know what my future husband looks like, at least."
Somi sighs, "I don't think it's allowed, my lady. I believe you can only see his Majesty on your wedding day. A month from now."
You're oddly disappointed. You had dreamt so many nights of seeing the King, holding his hand, being by his side, yet the King in those dreams often never had a face.
Was it wrong to yearn to look at your future husband's face? Just once?
A subtle knock on your door startles the both of you.
"Yes?"
"My lady, the King is here to see you." Your handmaid almost whispers the words through the door.
With unparalleled urgency, Somi helps you straighten your clothes and rushes off towards the door.
"Your majesty." The maids and Somi greet him with the customary bow, while you purse your lips in a line, head hanging in a subtle bow.
Your heart hammers against your chest. It's so loud, you're sure even the King could hear it.
"Please give us some privacy." The King commands.
And you heart beats faster on hearing his voice for the first time. Gentle, yet authoritative, just like you'd dreamt.
When Somi closes the door behind her, you almost regret wishing to see your future husband. The proximity makes you nervous and you could only hope you'd not faint in front of him.
"My lady, you may rise."
You'd almost forgotten you were still bowing to him. You mentally slap yourself.
"Y-yes, your majesty. " your voice comes out as an embarrassing squeak, your eyes still on the ground.
You'd prayed for this moment for years, y/n. Why couldn't you just meet his eyes?
As if sensing your inner conflict, the King takes two long strides towards you and hooks his index finger under your chin, sending a chill down your body.
"My lady, please look at me."
And you do.
And he's like everything you'd ever wished for.
Perfect, like a beautifully crafted sculpture.
His soft brown locks, his rosy lips, the subtle mischief in his eyes. Everything is perfect.
"Y-yes, your majesty. Sorry." You mumble.
The king smiles, rubbing circles into your cheeks.
"You may call me Changbin when we're alone."
You nod.
"I just came to ask if you're finding your new residence comfortable. We both shall be busy with lessons tomorrow onwards so I figured tonight would be a good time to visit my bride."
His bride? His bride?
Your legs feel weak.
"I'm finding it extremely comfortable, your majesty. Thank you for your hospitality. "
Changbin let's out a low chuckle, leaning towards you. His lips hover inches above yours. And when he speaks, you feel hot air on your lips, "I told you, y/n. Call me Changbin."
You frantically nod.
"Good. Better be careful next time, my bride."
*
When you wake up the next morning, you're sure you'd dreamt everything that happened last night.
But apparently not.
"The King is a dashing young man." Somi teases as she lathers a concoction of herbs into your hair. "You're lucky, my lady. He seems to be a gentleman."
But you are too caught up in your thoughts to reply to her.
Did the king of Joseon really come all the way to the Detached Palace to see you? What if he's disappointed with how you had reacted? But he shouldn't blame you at all.
You had not been expecting anyone yesterday night, especially not him. But he did come to you. And he touched your chin. If you focus hard enough, you could feel his touch lingering in the area.
"My lady?" Somi clicks her fingers in front of your eyes, "Come back to earth. We have to get you ready for the classes today."
Blushing, you reply, "What classes do I have today?"
You had three classes today: Palace etiquette, literature and what Somi insists most important: lessons on reproduction.
While Palace etiquette mostly includes lesson on how to behave with Royal elders, ministers, maids, the King, literature includes important pieces of literature that are important for a woman.
And lastly, the most dreaded time arrived.
The reproduction lessons.
The tutor shows you all sorts of obnoxious hand movements and some drawings of couples in intimate positions. You feel uncomfortable from the beginning till the end.
A woman at least five decades older than you is teaching you about intimacy? Very awkward, to say the least.
But you heave a sigh of relief when the classes end for the day and you make your way to your room in the Detached palace.
"It's just the first day, Somi and I'm already tired to the bone." You say, kicking your shoes off.
"Well, it's going to be a lifetime of time this now, my lady. And you best be prepared for it."
You reply Somi with silence. But her words make you wonder. If this palace life would ever be less tiring someday? Would it even be worth it?
Perhaps not.
But King Changbin 's face flashes in front of your eyes; his sparkling eyes, mischievous grin, his feather like touch- maybe he is what will make everything worth it.
That night, after your maids get your bed ready while Somi is combing your hair, a familiar announcement echoes through the corridors of the Detached Palace.
"My lady, the King is here to see you."
His smiling face peeps through the doors as your maids hurry out of the room. He wears blue silk robes, and you feel weaker in his presence than you did yesterday.
"Did you miss me, y/n?"
And thus begins a month of secret nightly visits by the King of Joseon to the Detached Palace.
Everyday, you wake up looking forward to the time when King Changbin would come knocking at your doors, always up to some jesting.
Sometimes, he brings you fruits you'd mentioned you liked or he tells you stories from his childhood. At other times, he tells you about that one teacher he will hate till the end of time.
But most times, he spends his time listening to you talk- about everything and everyone, about the skies and gods, about ghosts and afterlife, about favourite foods and literature. After you'd overcome the initial shyness, opening upto Changbin was as easy as breathing, almost natural. Of course, you were still nervous around him, but it's a feeling you'd come to like.
Is this what the writers and poets describe as 'butterflies'?
"Do you think I'll make a good Queen?" You ask him one night. He sits in front you on a cushion, across the room, a position you told him is appropriate for two unwed people (although he did not agree to it initially).
If your nightly shenanigans were to be ever discovered by anyone, you would not want to be found in close proximity to each other even though you were betrothed to each other. He's breaking Palace rules everyday as it is.
He hums, "Of course! I think you'll make a great Queen. You're so good at your lessons already."
"That does not guarantee anything. I might not be good at taking the responsibilities."
"Do you trust my judgment, y/n? I think you'll make a great Queen. And even if you are overwhelmed, I shall always be here."
That night he leaves earlier than he usually does, owing to the fact that tomorrow is the day where his concubines are to be welcomed into the palace. Five of them.
The thought leaves you feeling bitter and dejected, but you make sure to not make those feelings obvious. This is a rule for Kings, to take as many concubines as possible to ensure the continuation of the blood line.
"Don't worry, my lady. Your rank in the palace is above these petty concubines. They will not mess with you." Somi comforts your thoughts the next day.
"But what if Changbin favors them more?"
Somi does not reply to that question.
*
On your 18th birthday, your father had promised to you that he would make you the Queen of this country. He kept his promise because here you are, after five years, getting dressed to be married to the most powerful man in the country.
Your father always insisted that powerful men do not love but Changbin's sparkling eyes always contradicted everything your father had taught. Nevertheless, you know the competitiveness among the concubines for the King's affection is mad. More often than not, even the Queen gets involved in petty fights.
But you try to remove all thoughts of your father and the concubines today. Because today, you are to be married to King Changbin. From today, your name will be written in the historical logs of the Royal family. From today, a new life begins.
"Are you okay, my lady?" Somi asks, "You look worried."
"I'm fine. Just hope the ceremony goes well."
The ceremony does go well and in all honesty, you were not worried about the ceremony itself. You were worried about the aftermath.
The maids guide you to your new palace, and get you dressed in white robes for the wedding night. The night when you will finally meet Changbin as his wife. The butterflies swim around in your belly.
The bed is decorated with flower petals and a few candles are lit. Everything is perfect.
"The King is here." One of your ladies in waiting announce and you get up to greet your husband.
The maids leave the room as the doors slide open and Changbin steps in, also dressed in white robes. He looks dashing, but his signature grin is nowhere to be found.
When the doors close behind him, he walks past you to the bed, the scent of liquor evident in his breath.
"Have you been drinking, your majesty?" You ask him, worried by his odd behavior.
What was wrong with him? Why wouldn't he even bother to meet your eyes?
"Changbin." He slurs, wrapping the blankets around him, "Call me Changbin."
He turns away from you and is snoring away in no time.
The butterflies in your stomach flutter around before dropping dead.
*
You did not sleep that night. Even though you were sleeping next to the man you love, you felt lonelier than ever.
Many times during the night, you consider walking out of the bed chamber to the servants quarter so you could talk to Somi. But you couldn't do that. Because you were now the Queen of this country and every single step you take will have its repercussions.
When morning comes, Changbin wakes up in a haste and greets you with a subtle nod and walks out of the chamber in long strides.
You well the tears back. It's your first day as Queen and hadn't he always promised to be there when you were overwhelmed? Had he lied? Or was it Changbin's doppelganger who visited you every night in the Detached palace?
Somi comes in a few minutes later with an excited smile on her face.
When she does your hair for the day, she asks, "So, how was the wedding night?"
You want to answer her truthfully - how cold Changbin had been, how he had not even looked at you let alone touch you, how you think he had changed almost overnight. But you see the prying eyes of the other palace maids and swallow your sadness.
"It was perfect. Like everything I'd ever hoped for."
"He was gentle, I hope." She says through a grin, but it feels like someone pouring alcohol on an open wound.
"Yes. He was."
As part of royal customs, the new bride is supposed to visit the senior most female member of the family and greet her. In your case, the member happens to King Changbin's mother.
Somi dresses you in the most exquisite silks and adorns your hair with the most precious flower but you feel nothing at all when everyone compliments you on the way out of your new Queen's palace.
Your mother in law's palace is a little far from the Queen's palace yet it is as beautiful as any other palace. From inside as well as outside.
"Greetings, your majesty. It is nice to meet you." You bow in front of the Queen Dowager.
The woman-not more than sixty years of age- looks at you with a gentle smile.
"Come in, y/n. Please be at ease."
You're seated in front of her on a cushion while the Queen Dowager's maids serve you breakfast.
"I hope your first day here goes well, my child. Our family is thrilled to have you." She says.
"The pleasure is all mine, your majesty. I am honored to be a part of this family." You say.
In the back of your mind, you wonder if Changbin is thrilled to have you or not. Probably not.
The mere thought of yesterday's rejection stings.
"Y/n, truth be told, my son is a quite a troubled man. His father was murdered in front of his eyes. He was made the king when he was only 16 years old. It's been 7 years since then, but the burden only gets worse. I hope you, as a Queen and as his wife, can help him lessen these burdens. Can you do that?" The Queen Dowager asks again, sipping tea from a small cup.
"I will do everything I can to help him." If only he'd let you.
"Good, good. I'm glad. And one more thing, y/n, you know as Queen one of your primary duties is to produce an heir for Changbin's throne. I hope you're working on that, yes?"
Heat reaches your cheeks. If only the poor woman knew what her dear son had done last night. If his behavior continues, perhaps it will be long before the Queen Dowager sees the face of a royal grandchild.
"We are trying, your majesty. We will not disappoint you." You reply, sipping tea from your own cup.
"Great! I shall send all types of herbs and tonics to help you conceive as fast as possible. I shall also draw up a chart after consulting the astrologer..." the Queen Dowager's voice fades into the background as your mind drifts off to the nights in the Detached palace, when Changbin would come and spend all his free time with you, against the rules of the palace. At that time, you had been sure that producing an heir would be a beautiful process, not a chore.
But Changbin does not even treat the thought like a chore.
Did he not love you? Did his Royal duties burden him too much?
When you leave the Queen Dowager's palace, you walk past The King's palace. It is as beautiful and majestic as they say. But you wonder if you'll ever be able to set foot in the same.
As if on cue, you see Concubine Jung walking out of the King's palace, her maids behind her. The butterflies in your stomach burn with jealousy.
She has a smirk on her face when she sees you.
"Eun, did you know there's a rumor around the palace that the King refused to sleep with the Queen last night? Sad, isn't it?" Concubine Jung says.
One of her maids giggle and nod, "Of course! How could the Queen even live with this shame?"
You cry yourself to sleep that night, while Somi does everything in her abilities to soothe you.
Needless to say, nothing worked.
*
"My lady, wake up. The King has invited you to breakfast with him." Somi informs one morning, six months after your wedding.
"Tell him I have a bad stomach bug. I cannot go."
You'd be found dead before sharing a meal with him and that obnoxious Concubine Jung. You'd shared enough meals with them already.
The past months, the King had not visited you even once but often you'd see him walking the gardens with Concubine Jung at his side.
After the first few weeks, you had no tears left to shed anymore so when the rumor came in last month that Concubine Jung might be pregnant, your eyes do not water no matter how much you force yourself to cry.
"I do not wish to congratulate them." You say, true and plain.
"My lady, he's invited only you. Not anyone else."
So you agree. As a last attempt to make your marriage work, even if it's just for your own sake.
Somi dresses you in green robes- The King's favorite. You quickly make your way to his palace, as if someone else would take your place if you didn't hurry. It's sad your thoughts had turned so negative in just half a year in the palace.
Your father had told you the King would take in many lovers during his lifetime, and that being Queen is about having power, not being loved.
But you think he didn't warn you enough. He didn't warn you how lonely it would be to sleep on the cold bed every night, how painful it would be to see the King smile at someone else.
Even if you did wish for a child, how could you produce you a child without Changbin?
"Good morning, your majesty." You say to him when you enter his bed chamber. It smells like cinnamon, a smell he'd often carry with himself back when he used to visit you at the Detached palace. Back when you were sure the king had been in love with you.
"Hello, my Queen. Please have a seat."
The butterflies dance around for a split second.
"Did you sleep well last night?" He asks, taking a seat in front of you.
"Yes." Lies. "Thank you for inviting me over."
When the maids leave the both of you alone, his demeanor changes.
"Actually, y/n, I had something to talk to you about." He says, casually, as if he hadn't been hurting you everyday for the past few months.
"What is it?" You ask.
He sighs, "It's mother. Ever since that rumor of Concubine Jung being pregnant spread. She wants the first grandchild to be of the Queen."
His words do not faze you, "How can I help you, Changbin?"
He frowns. Since when had your tone become this melancholic?
"Um, so if I have your consent, I'd like to try for a child tomorrow night. We'll see how that goes, yeah?"
"Okay. I will be honored." You say.
You finish up the food quickly and almost slide the doors open when he grabs your arm from behind.
"Y/n, what is it? Did something happen? Are your parents well?"
"My parents are well enough, thank you for asking." You say, keeping your eyes on the ground.
"Then? What happened? Is it Concubine Jung? Really, you did not have to be jealous of her. She's not pregnant. I can assure you of that. I have not consummated my marriage with any one of the concubines."
His words seem to have an effect on you. Your heart blossoms with hope but you keep your face and voice neutral.
"I am not jealous, Changbin. If one of the concubines get pregnant, I shall wish you both well."
You force your arm out of his grip and walk out the palace, not looking back once.
Changbin's stares at your leaving figure, now worried beyond relief that he might have broken the one person he cared for the most by his pursuits of a greater good.
*
While the past few months for you had been filled with loneliness, for Changbin it was almost the same-if not worse.
The first night of your marriage was filled with as many butterflies for him, as it was for you.
He had fallen in love with you and he wasn't afraid to show the world how much you meant to him. He wanted to hold you, kiss you, make love to you. And he had all plans to do that on the first night.
But that was until he had overheard a secret conversation between Concubine Jung and her father- Minister Jung.
For all he knew, Minister Jung had always wanted his daughter to be the Queen but being the dim-wit that she was, Concubine Jung could not even get through the first stage.
"Father, it's been two days since I'd been in the palace and that man has not visited me once. He had not even asked for my name the day of the welcoming. What kind of man is he? And you say I am to be Queen!"
"Hush, child. In this palace, even the walls are listening. Be careful. And as far as the position of Queen is concerned, you need not worry. If the King does bed the Queen tonight and she get pregnant, we shall make sure her pregnancy terminates before maturity. I have connections with all sorts of medicine vendors in the country, be assured, she shall never see the face of a child. After we weaken the Queen, we can take her throne as easily!"
Changbin had wanted to laugh at the man's foolish plans but deep down, he was worried as well. For you.
Which is why he pushed you away for so long and kept Concubine Jung close. While she tried everything in her power to seduce him, he refused her under the pretense of keeping an oath of abstinence for a year.
Every time she tried to even hold his hand, Changbin thought of you; your innocent eyes, your talks, your wit, your hands, your beautiful hair. No woman could make him feel like you do.
Changbin's secret informants had confirmed that Minister Jung had not one but two houses full of gold and cash he'd collected as illegal taxes from the local people. He'd also sometimes force husbands to send their wives to him in exchange for money. Even the thought nauseated Changbin.
Every time Concubine Jung visited, he made sure to collect some sort of evidence through her. He even visited her every night and while she snored away, he stole some of her gold jewlery and clothes to get them checked as evidence of the illegal taxes her father had been collecting.
And sure enough, after a few months of spying on her and her father, Changbin had gathered enough evidence by now to expose both of them at the court.
But he realised quickly that Minister Jung had a few tricks up his sleeves as well. The rumor of his daughter's pregnancy would make it difficult for Changbin to expose him easily, and so Changbin waited every night that the rumors would die down so he could run to the Queen's Palace and hug you with all his might. You were not safe unless the father and daughter were deposed.
And for some selfish reasons, Changbin had hoped you'd understand the reason behind his distance. But no woman could find a logical reason behind her lover being absent and it was horribly wrong for him to expect you to do the same.
"Are you stupid?" His friend, the eccentric dancer Minho had asked him.
Changbin had told him how coldly you'd behaved this afternoon when he'd asked you if you wished to try for a child. Most women would giggle and blush. But you were like a statue.
"You push her away for months and make her feel lonely and not loved and what not and you have the audacity to ask her that?"
"Well, yes. Mother had been pressuring me for a child and obviously, even with the pressure, I would never do anything that y/n would not have wanted but I thought it would be a great way to reconnect with her. Even if it didn't end in child making or whatever."
Minho let's out a frustrated groan, "You have to learn so much, Bin. But let's start with this- be honest with her. She's your wife and you ought to tell her everything. Give answers to all her questions and hold her hand if she let's you. Small steps first, a child can wait."
Changbin nods, " Okay, should I go to her right now?"
"Yes, you idiot!" Minho says, earning a slap on the arm from The King of Joseon.
He should be glad he's not being beheaded for calling the King an idiot.
*
You're almost done getting ready for bed when the lady in waiting makes an unexpected announcement .
"My lady, the King is here to see you."
Your heart leaps and the butterflies come alive again only to die down once you realise why he might be there. For a child. Isn't that why he's here? Isn't that why people get married in the first place?
"Y/n." He sighs when he enters the room, almost out of relief. He purses his lips.
"Is there anything I could help you with?" You ask.
Oh, how badly he'd hurt you. He could see the hurt in your eyes, in your voice, in your mannerisms.
"Y/n, I'm sorry. I really am. I know I have caused you pain and I cannot imagine how lonely it must have been. But I hope you know that I really do love you and only you."
"Then why the distance? Why visit Concubine Jung every night?" You ask, hands on your hips.
The tears that had left you threatened to return again.
And he tells you everything. From the conversation he overheard to how insistently Concubine Jung asked him for a child to how much solid proof he'd collected over the months and how he'd sent those evidences to the Minister of Security, who in turn ensured that by tomorrow the Jungs will out of the palace and be imprisoned for life.
It all makes sense to you now, of course it does. Yet you feel guilty. He'd been trying to protect you, all this while.
"I'm sorry, Changbin. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I only-"
"Don't apologize, y/n. It's me that should apologize. I should have somehow tried to contact you and tell you about everything. I'm-"
"No, no, Please. Don't. You only tried to protect me and-"
"No, y/n, it's all my fault, please-"
Somi overhears the entire conversation through the door, her mind finally relaxing after the misunderstanding had been solved between you and the King. She could no longer stand you being this sad. And she somehow knew King Changbin had his own reasons for his behavior.
She hears soft sounds of kissing through the door and takes it as a sign to move away from the door, and join the other maids waiting outside the palace door. She smiles to herself.
The butterflies burn with passion.
"I do not wish for a child this early. I want to be here like this with you for a while, just y/n and Changbin and maybe two or three years later, we could try for a child. What do you think?"
When he kissed you initially, you half expected this to end up in the bed. But it did. And you're glad it did.
The butterflies bloom more than ever.
You're wrapped in his arms, tightly. The nakedness no longer bothering the either of you.
"I agree. I want to be this close to you every night, not as a Queen or the mother of your child. But as y/n. As your wife."
Changbin draws his face closer to you, pecking you on the lips, "And so you shall, my love."
And so you shall.
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sparklingchan · 17 days
Text
Serendipity || Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)
Pairing: Reader(fem.) X Changbin
Word Count: 5.4k+
Warnings: Suggestive, mentions of pregnancy (the reader is not pregnant) , mentions of poison, Changbin is sweeter than sugar. Set in the Joseon Era.
Genre: Royal AU, Arranged marriage AU, fluff with very slight angst.
Description: The King of Joseon had chosen you as his queen. But there are those that wish for this union to fail. Will your love be enough to overcome the competitiveness of the Palace?
A/N: Hello everyone! Back with another installation of the SKZ Royal AU. I am genuinely in love with this one ngl. King Changbin is a rizzler y'all. Hope you guys have fun reading this <3
Do check out the other fics in the skz royal series. (The stories are not interrelated)
Here's the link to the masterlist.
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Being a woman in this country is not an easy task. Especially when one is a candidate for the position of the country's Queen.
You'd dreamt of this for years, the idea sewn into every thought by your father even since you were child. With time, you'd welcomed the thought without a complaint.
"My lady, the Royal messenger is here." Somi informs you, and your nervousness just goes up by a thousand.
Did you manage to become the Queen and make your father proud? Or did you get disqualified and were now just a daughter of some minister and free to marry any other commoner like yourself?
You run down the hallway and enter the pavillion in front of your house, the colorful banners of the Royal entourage shine under the bright sun.
You straighten your robes and kneel down, head almost touching the ground, as a mark of respect for the King's verdict.
The chief Eunuch opens up the scroll in his hands.
"Please find enclosed the Royal Edict from the King's Court:
I, Seo Changbin, the King of Joseon, have chosen Miss y/n of House Kim as my wife and, by extension, the Queen of our beloved country. I have consulted the three High State Councilors and my mother- the Queen Dowager about the same and we have all unanimously agreed that she would be the best choice for the country as well as the Royal family, owing it all to her wits, beauty and manners.
Congratulations to Miss y/n and her family.
The Royal family would also like to extend an invitation to the bride-to-be to shift into the Detached Palace at the earliest as part of the customary pre wedding ritual. "
It feels as if someone had punched out the air from your lungs, you couldn't speak nor stand, while your parents and brother continuously thanked the Royal Eunuch, accepting all the gifts sent by the Palace for you.
But you couldn't move. You just stayed there, frozen. For life as you had known it has come to an end.
And thereafter begins a new, Royal chapter of your life.
*
"I'm going to miss you, my child."
The days since the Edict pass by in a heartbeat. All the members of your family were busy with packing your belongings while you were busy with mentally preparing yourself to leave your family and house behind forever.
Yes, you'd always wanted to be a Queen. Yes, you'd spent years getting ready for this role. Yet when the time finally comes, it hurts you to think about leaving behind twenty three years of your life.
"I'm going to miss you too, mother." On hearing your words, your mother cries harder.
But as usual, your father shows no emotion. His face is calm.
"Remember, y/n, there are no friends in the Palace other than your husband. You cannot confide in anyone but him. The other concubines will do anything to gain his favor, but you shall always be a step ahead. Be vigilant and loyal. You will make a great Queen." He says. Like the strategist he'd always been.
"Yes, father." You reply, swallowing the lump in your throat.
Your mother clinges to your arm.
"We will try and visit you whenever we can. I'm sure his Majesty will allow."
"Yes, of course. You can visit me anytime. The Palace is only a few hours from here."
"Oh, my child! How will I ever live without you!" Another sob tears out from your mother's throat. You hug her with all the love and care you could muster up in that moment.
Your father walks out of the room, hands behind his back and face twisted into a frown.
*
The Detached Palace is to be a temporary residence for the bride-to-be. For over the next thirty days, you would be receiving lessons on various subjects like history, Royal Etiquette, sewing, cooking and most importantly- lessons on intimacy. The last lesson is considered most important, according to Somi, since it allows you to birth as many healthy heirs as possible.
After helping you dress up for the night and setting up your bed, your maids take your leave for the night, only Somi remaining by your side.
"Do you think I'll see the King tomorrow? It's queer but I'd like to know what my future husband looks like, at least."
Somi sighs, "I don't think it's allowed, my lady. I believe you can only see his Majesty on your wedding day. A month from now."
You're oddly disappointed. You had dreamt so many nights of seeing the King, holding his hand, being by his side, yet the King in those dreams often never had a face.
Was it wrong to yearn to look at your future husband's face? Just once?
A subtle knock on your door startles the both of you.
"Yes?"
"My lady, the King is here to see you." Your handmaid almost whispers the words through the door.
With unparalleled urgency, Somi helps you straighten your clothes and rushes off towards the door.
"Your majesty." The maids and Somi greet him with the customary bow, while you purse your lips in a line, head hanging in a subtle bow.
Your heart hammers against your chest. It's so loud, you're sure even the King could hear it.
"Please give us some privacy." The King commands.
And you heart beats faster on hearing his voice for the first time. Gentle, yet authoritative, just like you'd dreamt.
When Somi closes the door behind her, you almost regret wishing to see your future husband. The proximity makes you nervous and you could only hope you'd not faint in front of him.
"My lady, you may rise."
You'd almost forgotten you were still bowing to him. You mentally slap yourself.
"Y-yes, your majesty. " your voice comes out as an embarrassing squeak, your eyes still on the ground.
You'd prayed for this moment for years, y/n. Why couldn't you just meet his eyes?
As if sensing your inner conflict, the King takes two long strides towards you and hooks his index finger under your chin, sending a chill down your body.
"My lady, please look at me."
And you do.
And he's like everything you'd ever wished for.
Perfect, like a beautifully crafted sculpture.
His soft brown locks, his rosy lips, the subtle mischief in his eyes. Everything is perfect.
"Y-yes, your majesty. Sorry." You mumble.
The king smiles, rubbing circles into your cheeks.
"You may call me Changbin when we're alone."
You nod.
"I just came to ask if you're finding your new residence comfortable. We both shall be busy with lessons tomorrow onwards so I figured tonight would be a good time to visit my bride."
His bride? His bride?
Your legs feel weak.
"I'm finding it extremely comfortable, your majesty. Thank you for your hospitality. "
Changbin let's out a low chuckle, leaning towards you. His lips hover inches above yours. And when he speaks, you feel hot air on your lips, "I told you, y/n. Call me Changbin."
You frantically nod.
"Good. Better be careful next time, my bride."
*
When you wake up the next morning, you're sure you'd dreamt everything that happened last night.
But apparently not.
"The King is a dashing young man." Somi teases as she lathers a concoction of herbs into your hair. "You're lucky, my lady. He seems to be a gentleman."
But you are too caught up in your thoughts to reply to her.
Did the king of Joseon really come all the way to the Detached Palace to see you? What if he's disappointed with how you had reacted? But he shouldn't blame you at all.
You had not been expecting anyone yesterday night, especially not him. But he did come to you. And he touched your chin. If you focus hard enough, you could feel his touch lingering in the area.
"My lady?" Somi clicks her fingers in front of your eyes, "Come back to earth. We have to get you ready for the classes today."
Blushing, you reply, "What classes do I have today?"
You had three classes today: Palace etiquette, literature and what Somi insists most important: lessons on reproduction.
While Palace etiquette mostly includes lesson on how to behave with Royal elders, ministers, maids, the King, literature includes important pieces of literature that are important for a woman.
And lastly, the most dreaded time arrived.
The reproduction lessons.
The tutor shows you all sorts of obnoxious hand movements and some drawings of couples in intimate positions. You feel uncomfortable from the beginning till the end.
A woman at least five decades older than you is teaching you about intimacy? Very awkward, to say the least.
But you heave a sigh of relief when the classes end for the day and you make your way to your room in the Detached palace.
"It's just the first day, Somi and I'm already tired to the bone." You say, kicking your shoes off.
"Well, it's going to be a lifetime of time this now, my lady. And you best be prepared for it."
You reply Somi with silence. But her words make you wonder. If this palace life would ever be less tiring someday? Would it even be worth it?
Perhaps not.
But King Changbin 's face flashes in front of your eyes; his sparkling eyes, mischievous grin, his feather like touch- maybe he is what will make everything worth it.
That night, after your maids get your bed ready while Somi is combing your hair, a familiar announcement echoes through the corridors of the Detached Palace.
"My lady, the King is here to see you."
His smiling face peeps through the doors as your maids hurry out of the room. He wears blue silk robes, and you feel weaker in his presence than you did yesterday.
"Did you miss me, y/n?"
And thus begins a month of secret nightly visits by the King of Joseon to the Detached Palace.
Everyday, you wake up looking forward to the time when King Changbin would come knocking at your doors, always up to some jesting.
Sometimes, he brings you fruits you'd mentioned you liked or he tells you stories from his childhood. At other times, he tells you about that one teacher he will hate till the end of time.
But most times, he spends his time listening to you talk- about everything and everyone, about the skies and gods, about ghosts and afterlife, about favourite foods and literature. After you'd overcome the initial shyness, opening upto Changbin was as easy as breathing, almost natural. Of course, you were still nervous around him, but it's a feeling you'd come to like.
Is this what the writers and poets describe as 'butterflies'?
"Do you think I'll make a good Queen?" You ask him one night. He sits in front you on a cushion, across the room, a position you told him is appropriate for two unwed people (although he did not agree to it initially).
If your nightly shenanigans were to be ever discovered by anyone, you would not want to be found in close proximity to each other even though you were betrothed to each other. He's breaking Palace rules everyday as it is.
He hums, "Of course! I think you'll make a great Queen. You're so good at your lessons already."
"That does not guarantee anything. I might not be good at taking the responsibilities."
"Do you trust my judgment, y/n? I think you'll make a great Queen. And even if you are overwhelmed, I shall always be here."
That night he leaves earlier than he usually does, owing to the fact that tomorrow is the day where his concubines are to be welcomed into the palace. Five of them.
The thought leaves you feeling bitter and dejected, but you make sure to not make those feelings obvious. This is a rule for Kings, to take as many concubines as possible to ensure the continuation of the blood line.
"Don't worry, my lady. Your rank in the palace is above these petty concubines. They will not mess with you." Somi comforts your thoughts the next day.
"But what if Changbin favors them more?"
Somi does not reply to that question.
*
On your 18th birthday, your father had promised to you that he would make you the Queen of this country. He kept his promise because here you are, after five years, getting dressed to be married to the most powerful man in the country.
Your father always insisted that powerful men do not love but Changbin's sparkling eyes always contradicted everything your father had taught. Nevertheless, you know the competitiveness among the concubines for the King's affection is mad. More often than not, even the Queen gets involved in petty fights.
But you try to remove all thoughts of your father and the concubines today. Because today, you are to be married to King Changbin. From today, your name will be written in the historical logs of the Royal family. From today, a new life begins.
"Are you okay, my lady?" Somi asks, "You look worried."
"I'm fine. Just hope the ceremony goes well."
The ceremony does go well and in all honesty, you were not worried about the ceremony itself. You were worried about the aftermath.
The maids guide you to your new palace, and get you dressed in white robes for the wedding night. The night when you will finally meet Changbin as his wife. The butterflies swim around in your belly.
The bed is decorated with flower petals and a few candles are lit. Everything is perfect.
"The King is here." One of your ladies in waiting announce and you get up to greet your husband.
The maids leave the room as the doors slide open and Changbin steps in, also dressed in white robes. He looks dashing, but his signature grin is nowhere to be found.
When the doors close behind him, he walks past you to the bed, the scent of liquor evident in his breath.
"Have you been drinking, your majesty?" You ask him, worried by his odd behavior.
What was wrong with him? Why wouldn't he even bother to meet your eyes?
"Changbin." He slurs, wrapping the blankets around him, "Call me Changbin."
He turns away from you and is snoring away in no time.
The butterflies in your stomach flutter around before dropping dead.
*
You did not sleep that night. Even though you were sleeping next to the man you love, you felt lonelier than ever.
Many times during the night, you consider walking out of the bed chamber to the servants quarter so you could talk to Somi. But you couldn't do that. Because you were now the Queen of this country and every single step you take will have its repercussions.
When morning comes, Changbin wakes up in a haste and greets you with a subtle nod and walks out of the chamber in long strides.
You well the tears back. It's your first day as Queen and hadn't he always promised to be there when you were overwhelmed? Had he lied? Or was it Changbin's doppelganger who visited you every night in the Detached palace?
Somi comes in a few minutes later with an excited smile on her face.
When she does your hair for the day, she asks, "So, how was the wedding night?"
You want to answer her truthfully - how cold Changbin had been, how he had not even looked at you let alone touch you, how you think he had changed almost overnight. But you see the prying eyes of the other palace maids and swallow your sadness.
"It was perfect. Like everything I'd ever hoped for."
"He was gentle, I hope." She says through a grin, but it feels like someone pouring alcohol on an open wound.
"Yes. He was."
As part of royal customs, the new bride is supposed to visit the senior most female member of the family and greet her. In your case, the member happens to King Changbin's mother.
Somi dresses you in the most exquisite silks and adorns your hair with the most precious flower but you feel nothing at all when everyone compliments you on the way out of your new Queen's palace.
Your mother in law's palace is a little far from the Queen's palace yet it is as beautiful as any other palace. From inside as well as outside.
"Greetings, your majesty. It is nice to meet you." You bow in front of the Queen Dowager.
The woman-not more than sixty years of age- looks at you with a gentle smile.
"Come in, y/n. Please be at ease."
You're seated in front of her on a cushion while the Queen Dowager's maids serve you breakfast.
"I hope your first day here goes well, my child. Our family is thrilled to have you." She says.
"The pleasure is all mine, your majesty. I am honored to be a part of this family." You say.
In the back of your mind, you wonder if Changbin is thrilled to have you or not. Probably not.
The mere thought of yesterday's rejection stings.
"Y/n, truth be told, my son is a quite a troubled man. His father was murdered in front of his eyes. He was made the king when he was only 16 years old. It's been 7 years since then, but the burden only gets worse. I hope you, as a Queen and as his wife, can help him lessen these burdens. Can you do that?" The Queen Dowager asks again, sipping tea from a small cup.
"I will do everything I can to help him." If only he'd let you.
"Good, good. I'm glad. And one more thing, y/n, you know as Queen one of your primary duties is to produce an heir for Changbin's throne. I hope you're working on that, yes?"
Heat reaches your cheeks. If only the poor woman knew what her dear son had done last night. If his behavior continues, perhaps it will be long before the Queen Dowager sees the face of a royal grandchild.
"We are trying, your majesty. We will not disappoint you." You reply, sipping tea from your own cup.
"Great! I shall send all types of herbs and tonics to help you conceive as fast as possible. I shall also draw up a chart after consulting the astrologer..." the Queen Dowager's voice fades into the background as your mind drifts off to the nights in the Detached palace, when Changbin would come and spend all his free time with you, against the rules of the palace. At that time, you had been sure that producing an heir would be a beautiful process, not a chore.
But Changbin does not even treat the thought like a chore.
Did he not love you? Did his Royal duties burden him too much?
When you leave the Queen Dowager's palace, you walk past The King's palace. It is as beautiful and majestic as they say. But you wonder if you'll ever be able to set foot in the same.
As if on cue, you see Concubine Jung walking out of the King's palace, her maids behind her. The butterflies in your stomach burn with jealousy.
She has a smirk on her face when she sees you.
"Eun, did you know there's a rumor around the palace that the King refused to sleep with the Queen last night? Sad, isn't it?" Concubine Jung says.
One of her maids giggle and nod, "Of course! How could the Queen even live with this shame?"
You cry yourself to sleep that night, while Somi does everything in her abilities to soothe you.
Needless to say, nothing worked.
*
"My lady, wake up. The King has invited you to breakfast with him." Somi informs one morning, six months after your wedding.
"Tell him I have a bad stomach bug. I cannot go."
You'd be found dead before sharing a meal with him and that obnoxious Concubine Jung. You'd shared enough meals with them already.
The past months, the King had not visited you even once but often you'd see him walking the gardens with Concubine Jung at his side.
After the first few weeks, you had no tears left to shed anymore so when the rumor came in last month that Concubine Jung might be pregnant, your eyes do not water no matter how much you force yourself to cry.
"I do not wish to congratulate them." You say, true and plain.
"My lady, he's invited only you. Not anyone else."
So you agree. As a last attempt to make your marriage work, even if it's just for your own sake.
Somi dresses you in green robes- The King's favorite. You quickly make your way to his palace, as if someone else would take your place if you didn't hurry. It's sad your thoughts had turned so negative in just half a year in the palace.
Your father had told you the King would take in many lovers during his lifetime, and that being Queen is about having power, not being loved.
But you think he didn't warn you enough. He didn't warn you how lonely it would be to sleep on the cold bed every night, how painful it would be to see the King smile at someone else.
Even if you did wish for a child, how could you produce you a child without Changbin?
"Good morning, your majesty." You say to him when you enter his bed chamber. It smells like cinnamon, a smell he'd often carry with himself back when he used to visit you at the Detached palace. Back when you were sure the king had been in love with you.
"Hello, my Queen. Please have a seat."
The butterflies dance around for a split second.
"Did you sleep well last night?" He asks, taking a seat in front of you.
"Yes." Lies. "Thank you for inviting me over."
When the maids leave the both of you alone, his demeanor changes.
"Actually, y/n, I had something to talk to you about." He says, casually, as if he hadn't been hurting you everyday for the past few months.
"What is it?" You ask.
He sighs, "It's mother. Ever since that rumor of Concubine Jung being pregnant spread. She wants the first grandchild to be of the Queen."
His words do not faze you, "How can I help you, Changbin?"
He frowns. Since when had your tone become this melancholic?
"Um, so if I have your consent, I'd like to try for a child tomorrow night. We'll see how that goes, yeah?"
"Okay. I will be honored." You say.
You finish up the food quickly and almost slide the doors open when he grabs your arm from behind.
"Y/n, what is it? Did something happen? Are your parents well?"
"My parents are well enough, thank you for asking." You say, keeping your eyes on the ground.
"Then? What happened? Is it Concubine Jung? Really, you did not have to be jealous of her. She's not pregnant. I can assure you of that. I have not consummated my marriage with any one of the concubines."
His words seem to have an effect on you. Your heart blossoms with hope but you keep your face and voice neutral.
"I am not jealous, Changbin. If one of the concubines get pregnant, I shall wish you both well."
You force your arm out of his grip and walk out the palace, not looking back once.
Changbin's stares at your leaving figure, now worried beyond relief that he might have broken the one person he cared for the most by his pursuits of a greater good.
*
While the past few months for you had been filled with loneliness, for Changbin it was almost the same-if not worse.
The first night of your marriage was filled with as many butterflies for him, as it was for you.
He had fallen in love with you and he wasn't afraid to show the world how much you meant to him. He wanted to hold you, kiss you, make love to you. And he had all plans to do that on the first night.
But that was until he had overheard a secret conversation between Concubine Jung and her father- Minister Jung.
For all he knew, Minister Jung had always wanted his daughter to be the Queen but being the dim-wit that she was, Concubine Jung could not even get through the first stage.
"Father, it's been two days since I'd been in the palace and that man has not visited me once. He had not even asked for my name the day of the welcoming. What kind of man is he? And you say I am to be Queen!"
"Hush, child. In this palace, even the walls are listening. Be careful. And as far as the position of Queen is concerned, you need not worry. If the King does bed the Queen tonight and she get pregnant, we shall make sure her pregnancy terminates before maturity. I have connections with all sorts of medicine vendors in the country, be assured, she shall never see the face of a child. After we weaken the Queen, we can take her throne as easily!"
Changbin had wanted to laugh at the man's foolish plans but deep down, he was worried as well. For you.
Which is why he pushed you away for so long and kept Concubine Jung close. While she tried everything in her power to seduce him, he refused her under the pretense of keeping an oath of abstinence for a year.
Every time she tried to even hold his hand, Changbin thought of you; your innocent eyes, your talks, your wit, your hands, your beautiful hair. No woman could make him feel like you do.
Changbin's secret informants had confirmed that Minister Jung had not one but two houses full of gold and cash he'd collected as illegal taxes from the local people. He'd also sometimes force husbands to send their wives to him in exchange for money. Even the thought nauseated Changbin.
Every time Concubine Jung visited, he made sure to collect some sort of evidence through her. He even visited her every night and while she snored away, he stole some of her gold jewlery and clothes to get them checked as evidence of the illegal taxes her father had been collecting.
And sure enough, after a few months of spying on her and her father, Changbin had gathered enough evidence by now to expose both of them at the court.
But he realised quickly that Minister Jung had a few tricks up his sleeves as well. The rumor of his daughter's pregnancy would make it difficult for Changbin to expose him easily, and so Changbin waited every night that the rumors would die down so he could run to the Queen's Palace and hug you with all his might. You were not safe unless the father and daughter were deposed.
And for some selfish reasons, Changbin had hoped you'd understand the reason behind his distance. But no woman could find a logical reason behind her lover being absent and it was horribly wrong for him to expect you to do the same.
"Are you stupid?" His friend, the eccentric dancer Minho had asked him.
Changbin had told him how coldly you'd behaved this afternoon when he'd asked you if you wished to try for a child. Most women would giggle and blush. But you were like a statue.
"You push her away for months and make her feel lonely and not loved and what not and you have the audacity to ask her that?"
"Well, yes. Mother had been pressuring me for a child and obviously, even with the pressure, I would never do anything that y/n would not have wanted but I thought it would be a great way to reconnect with her. Even if it didn't end in child making or whatever."
Minho let's out a frustrated groan, "You have to learn so much, Bin. But let's start with this- be honest with her. She's your wife and you ought to tell her everything. Give answers to all her questions and hold her hand if she let's you. Small steps first, a child can wait."
Changbin nods, " Okay, should I go to her right now?"
"Yes, you idiot!" Minho says, earning a slap on the arm from The King of Joseon.
He should be glad he's not being beheaded for calling the King an idiot.
*
You're almost done getting ready for bed when the lady in waiting makes an unexpected announcement .
"My lady, the King is here to see you."
Your heart leaps and the butterflies come alive again only to die down once you realise why he might be there. For a child. Isn't that why he's here? Isn't that why people get married in the first place?
"Y/n." He sighs when he enters the room, almost out of relief. He purses his lips.
"Is there anything I could help you with?" You ask.
Oh, how badly he'd hurt you. He could see the hurt in your eyes, in your voice, in your mannerisms.
"Y/n, I'm sorry. I really am. I know I have caused you pain and I cannot imagine how lonely it must have been. But I hope you know that I really do love you and only you."
"Then why the distance? Why visit Concubine Jung every night?" You ask, hands on your hips.
The tears that had left you threatened to return again.
And he tells you everything. From the conversation he overheard to how insistently Concubine Jung asked him for a child to how much solid proof he'd collected over the months and how he'd sent those evidences to the Minister of Security, who in turn ensured that by tomorrow the Jungs will out of the palace and be imprisoned for life.
It all makes sense to you now, of course it does. Yet you feel guilty. He'd been trying to protect you, all this while.
"I'm sorry, Changbin. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I only-"
"Don't apologize, y/n. It's me that should apologize. I should have somehow tried to contact you and tell you about everything. I'm-"
"No, no, Please. Don't. You only tried to protect me and-"
"No, y/n, it's all my fault, please-"
Somi overhears the entire conversation through the door, her mind finally relaxing after the misunderstanding had been solved between you and the King. She could no longer stand you being this sad. And she somehow knew King Changbin had his own reasons for his behavior.
She hears soft sounds of kissing through the door and takes it as a sign to move away from the door, and join the other maids waiting outside the palace door. She smiles to herself.
The butterflies burn with passion.
"I do not wish for a child this early. I want to be here like this with you for a while, just y/n and Changbin and maybe two or three years later, we could try for a child. What do you think?"
When he kissed you initially, you half expected this to end up in the bed. But it did. And you're glad it did.
The butterflies bloom more than ever.
You're wrapped in his arms, tightly. The nakedness no longer bothering the either of you.
"I agree. I want to be this close to you every night, not as a Queen or the mother of your child. But as y/n. As your wife."
Changbin draws his face closer to you, pecking you on the lips, "And so you shall, my love."
And so you shall.
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sparklingchan · 18 days
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HAN / RACHA LOG 10
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Lee Know & Seungmin - ASEA the grand prize (240410)
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sparklingchan · 19 days
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Serendipity || Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)
Pairing: Reader(fem.) X Changbin
Word Count: 5.4k+
Warnings: Suggestive, mentions of pregnancy (the reader is not pregnant) , mentions of poison, Changbin is sweeter than sugar. Set in the Joseon Era.
Genre: Royal AU, Arranged marriage AU, fluff with very slight angst.
Description: The King of Joseon had chosen you as his queen. But there are those that wish for this union to fail. Will your love be enough to overcome the competitiveness of the Palace?
A/N: Hello everyone! Back with another installation of the SKZ Royal AU. I am genuinely in love with this one ngl. King Changbin is a rizzler y'all. Hope you guys have fun reading this <3
Do check out the other fics in the skz royal series. (The stories are not interrelated)
Here's the link to the masterlist.
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Being a woman in this country is not an easy task. Especially when one is a candidate for the position of the country's Queen.
You'd dreamt of this for years, the idea sewn into every thought by your father even since you were child. With time, you'd welcomed the thought without a complaint.
"My lady, the Royal messenger is here." Somi informs you, and your nervousness just goes up by a thousand.
Did you manage to become the Queen and make your father proud? Or did you get disqualified and were now just a daughter of some minister and free to marry any other commoner like yourself?
You run down the hallway and enter the pavillion in front of your house, the colorful banners of the Royal entourage shine under the bright sun.
You straighten your robes and kneel down, head almost touching the ground, as a mark of respect for the King's verdict.
The chief Eunuch opens up the scroll in his hands.
"Please find enclosed the Royal Edict from the King's Court:
I, Seo Changbin, the King of Joseon, have chosen Miss y/n of House Kim as my wife and, by extension, the Queen of our beloved country. I have consulted the three High State Councilors and my mother- the Queen Dowager about the same and we have all unanimously agreed that she would be the best choice for the country as well as the Royal family, owing it all to her wits, beauty and manners.
Congratulations to Miss y/n and her family.
The Royal family would also like to extend an invitation to the bride-to-be to shift into the Detached Palace at the earliest as part of the customary pre wedding ritual. "
It feels as if someone had punched out the air from your lungs, you couldn't speak nor stand, while your parents and brother continuously thanked the Royal Eunuch, accepting all the gifts sent by the Palace for you.
But you couldn't move. You just stayed there, frozen. For life as you had known it has come to an end.
And thereafter begins a new, Royal chapter of your life.
*
"I'm going to miss you, my child."
The days since the Edict pass by in a heartbeat. All the members of your family were busy with packing your belongings while you were busy with mentally preparing yourself to leave your family and house behind forever.
Yes, you'd always wanted to be a Queen. Yes, you'd spent years getting ready for this role. Yet when the time finally comes, it hurts you to think about leaving behind twenty three years of your life.
"I'm going to miss you too, mother." On hearing your words, your mother cries harder.
But as usual, your father shows no emotion. His face is calm.
"Remember, y/n, there are no friends in the Palace other than your husband. You cannot confide in anyone but him. The other concubines will do anything to gain his favor, but you shall always be a step ahead. Be vigilant and loyal. You will make a great Queen." He says. Like the strategist he'd always been.
"Yes, father." You reply, swallowing the lump in your throat.
Your mother clinges to your arm.
"We will try and visit you whenever we can. I'm sure his Majesty will allow."
"Yes, of course. You can visit me anytime. The Palace is only a few hours from here."
"Oh, my child! How will I ever live without you!" Another sob tears out from your mother's throat. You hug her with all the love and care you could muster up in that moment.
Your father walks out of the room, hands behind his back and face twisted into a frown.
*
The Detached Palace is to be a temporary residence for the bride-to-be. For over the next thirty days, you would be receiving lessons on various subjects like history, Royal Etiquette, sewing, cooking and most importantly- lessons on intimacy. The last lesson is considered most important, according to Somi, since it allows you to birth as many healthy heirs as possible.
After helping you dress up for the night and setting up your bed, your maids take your leave for the night, only Somi remaining by your side.
"Do you think I'll see the King tomorrow? It's queer but I'd like to know what my future husband looks like, at least."
Somi sighs, "I don't think it's allowed, my lady. I believe you can only see his Majesty on your wedding day. A month from now."
You're oddly disappointed. You had dreamt so many nights of seeing the King, holding his hand, being by his side, yet the King in those dreams often never had a face.
Was it wrong to yearn to look at your future husband's face? Just once?
A subtle knock on your door startles the both of you.
"Yes?"
"My lady, the King is here to see you." Your handmaid almost whispers the words through the door.
With unparalleled urgency, Somi helps you straighten your clothes and rushes off towards the door.
"Your majesty." The maids and Somi greet him with the customary bow, while you purse your lips in a line, head hanging in a subtle bow.
Your heart hammers against your chest. It's so loud, you're sure even the King could hear it.
"Please give us some privacy." The King commands.
And you heart beats faster on hearing his voice for the first time. Gentle, yet authoritative, just like you'd dreamt.
When Somi closes the door behind her, you almost regret wishing to see your future husband. The proximity makes you nervous and you could only hope you'd not faint in front of him.
"My lady, you may rise."
You'd almost forgotten you were still bowing to him. You mentally slap yourself.
"Y-yes, your majesty. " your voice comes out as an embarrassing squeak, your eyes still on the ground.
You'd prayed for this moment for years, y/n. Why couldn't you just meet his eyes?
As if sensing your inner conflict, the King takes two long strides towards you and hooks his index finger under your chin, sending a chill down your body.
"My lady, please look at me."
And you do.
And he's like everything you'd ever wished for.
Perfect, like a beautifully crafted sculpture.
His soft brown locks, his rosy lips, the subtle mischief in his eyes. Everything is perfect.
"Y-yes, your majesty. Sorry." You mumble.
The king smiles, rubbing circles into your cheeks.
"You may call me Changbin when we're alone."
You nod.
"I just came to ask if you're finding your new residence comfortable. We both shall be busy with lessons tomorrow onwards so I figured tonight would be a good time to visit my bride."
His bride? His bride?
Your legs feel weak.
"I'm finding it extremely comfortable, your majesty. Thank you for your hospitality. "
Changbin let's out a low chuckle, leaning towards you. His lips hover inches above yours. And when he speaks, you feel hot air on your lips, "I told you, y/n. Call me Changbin."
You frantically nod.
"Good. Better be careful next time, my bride."
*
When you wake up the next morning, you're sure you'd dreamt everything that happened last night.
But apparently not.
"The King is a dashing young man." Somi teases as she lathers a concoction of herbs into your hair. "You're lucky, my lady. He seems to be a gentleman."
But you are too caught up in your thoughts to reply to her.
Did the king of Joseon really come all the way to the Detached Palace to see you? What if he's disappointed with how you had reacted? But he shouldn't blame you at all.
You had not been expecting anyone yesterday night, especially not him. But he did come to you. And he touched your chin. If you focus hard enough, you could feel his touch lingering in the area.
"My lady?" Somi clicks her fingers in front of your eyes, "Come back to earth. We have to get you ready for the classes today."
Blushing, you reply, "What classes do I have today?"
You had three classes today: Palace etiquette, literature and what Somi insists most important: lessons on reproduction.
While Palace etiquette mostly includes lesson on how to behave with Royal elders, ministers, maids, the King, literature includes important pieces of literature that are important for a woman.
And lastly, the most dreaded time arrived.
The reproduction lessons.
The tutor shows you all sorts of obnoxious hand movements and some drawings of couples in intimate positions. You feel uncomfortable from the beginning till the end.
A woman at least five decades older than you is teaching you about intimacy? Very awkward, to say the least.
But you heave a sigh of relief when the classes end for the day and you make your way to your room in the Detached palace.
"It's just the first day, Somi and I'm already tired to the bone." You say, kicking your shoes off.
"Well, it's going to be a lifetime of time this now, my lady. And you best be prepared for it."
You reply Somi with silence. But her words make you wonder. If this palace life would ever be less tiring someday? Would it even be worth it?
Perhaps not.
But King Changbin 's face flashes in front of your eyes; his sparkling eyes, mischievous grin, his feather like touch- maybe he is what will make everything worth it.
That night, after your maids get your bed ready while Somi is combing your hair, a familiar announcement echoes through the corridors of the Detached Palace.
"My lady, the King is here to see you."
His smiling face peeps through the doors as your maids hurry out of the room. He wears blue silk robes, and you feel weaker in his presence than you did yesterday.
"Did you miss me, y/n?"
And thus begins a month of secret nightly visits by the King of Joseon to the Detached Palace.
Everyday, you wake up looking forward to the time when King Changbin would come knocking at your doors, always up to some jesting.
Sometimes, he brings you fruits you'd mentioned you liked or he tells you stories from his childhood. At other times, he tells you about that one teacher he will hate till the end of time.
But most times, he spends his time listening to you talk- about everything and everyone, about the skies and gods, about ghosts and afterlife, about favourite foods and literature. After you'd overcome the initial shyness, opening upto Changbin was as easy as breathing, almost natural. Of course, you were still nervous around him, but it's a feeling you'd come to like.
Is this what the writers and poets describe as 'butterflies'?
"Do you think I'll make a good Queen?" You ask him one night. He sits in front you on a cushion, across the room, a position you told him is appropriate for two unwed people (although he did not agree to it initially).
If your nightly shenanigans were to be ever discovered by anyone, you would not want to be found in close proximity to each other even though you were betrothed to each other. He's breaking Palace rules everyday as it is.
He hums, "Of course! I think you'll make a great Queen. You're so good at your lessons already."
"That does not guarantee anything. I might not be good at taking the responsibilities."
"Do you trust my judgment, y/n? I think you'll make a great Queen. And even if you are overwhelmed, I shall always be here."
That night he leaves earlier than he usually does, owing to the fact that tomorrow is the day where his concubines are to be welcomed into the palace. Five of them.
The thought leaves you feeling bitter and dejected, but you make sure to not make those feelings obvious. This is a rule for Kings, to take as many concubines as possible to ensure the continuation of the blood line.
"Don't worry, my lady. Your rank in the palace is above these petty concubines. They will not mess with you." Somi comforts your thoughts the next day.
"But what if Changbin favors them more?"
Somi does not reply to that question.
*
On your 18th birthday, your father had promised to you that he would make you the Queen of this country. He kept his promise because here you are, after five years, getting dressed to be married to the most powerful man in the country.
Your father always insisted that powerful men do not love but Changbin's sparkling eyes always contradicted everything your father had taught. Nevertheless, you know the competitiveness among the concubines for the King's affection is mad. More often than not, even the Queen gets involved in petty fights.
But you try to remove all thoughts of your father and the concubines today. Because today, you are to be married to King Changbin. From today, your name will be written in the historical logs of the Royal family. From today, a new life begins.
"Are you okay, my lady?" Somi asks, "You look worried."
"I'm fine. Just hope the ceremony goes well."
The ceremony does go well and in all honesty, you were not worried about the ceremony itself. You were worried about the aftermath.
The maids guide you to your new palace, and get you dressed in white robes for the wedding night. The night when you will finally meet Changbin as his wife. The butterflies swim around in your belly.
The bed is decorated with flower petals and a few candles are lit. Everything is perfect.
"The King is here." One of your ladies in waiting announce and you get up to greet your husband.
The maids leave the room as the doors slide open and Changbin steps in, also dressed in white robes. He looks dashing, but his signature grin is nowhere to be found.
When the doors close behind him, he walks past you to the bed, the scent of liquor evident in his breath.
"Have you been drinking, your majesty?" You ask him, worried by his odd behavior.
What was wrong with him? Why wouldn't he even bother to meet your eyes?
"Changbin." He slurs, wrapping the blankets around him, "Call me Changbin."
He turns away from you and is snoring away in no time.
The butterflies in your stomach flutter around before dropping dead.
*
You did not sleep that night. Even though you were sleeping next to the man you love, you felt lonelier than ever.
Many times during the night, you consider walking out of the bed chamber to the servants quarter so you could talk to Somi. But you couldn't do that. Because you were now the Queen of this country and every single step you take will have its repercussions.
When morning comes, Changbin wakes up in a haste and greets you with a subtle nod and walks out of the chamber in long strides.
You well the tears back. It's your first day as Queen and hadn't he always promised to be there when you were overwhelmed? Had he lied? Or was it Changbin's doppelganger who visited you every night in the Detached palace?
Somi comes in a few minutes later with an excited smile on her face.
When she does your hair for the day, she asks, "So, how was the wedding night?"
You want to answer her truthfully - how cold Changbin had been, how he had not even looked at you let alone touch you, how you think he had changed almost overnight. But you see the prying eyes of the other palace maids and swallow your sadness.
"It was perfect. Like everything I'd ever hoped for."
"He was gentle, I hope." She says through a grin, but it feels like someone pouring alcohol on an open wound.
"Yes. He was."
As part of royal customs, the new bride is supposed to visit the senior most female member of the family and greet her. In your case, the member happens to King Changbin's mother.
Somi dresses you in the most exquisite silks and adorns your hair with the most precious flower but you feel nothing at all when everyone compliments you on the way out of your new Queen's palace.
Your mother in law's palace is a little far from the Queen's palace yet it is as beautiful as any other palace. From inside as well as outside.
"Greetings, your majesty. It is nice to meet you." You bow in front of the Queen Dowager.
The woman-not more than sixty years of age- looks at you with a gentle smile.
"Come in, y/n. Please be at ease."
You're seated in front of her on a cushion while the Queen Dowager's maids serve you breakfast.
"I hope your first day here goes well, my child. Our family is thrilled to have you." She says.
"The pleasure is all mine, your majesty. I am honored to be a part of this family." You say.
In the back of your mind, you wonder if Changbin is thrilled to have you or not. Probably not.
The mere thought of yesterday's rejection stings.
"Y/n, truth be told, my son is a quite a troubled man. His father was murdered in front of his eyes. He was made the king when he was only 16 years old. It's been 7 years since then, but the burden only gets worse. I hope you, as a Queen and as his wife, can help him lessen these burdens. Can you do that?" The Queen Dowager asks again, sipping tea from a small cup.
"I will do everything I can to help him." If only he'd let you.
"Good, good. I'm glad. And one more thing, y/n, you know as Queen one of your primary duties is to produce an heir for Changbin's throne. I hope you're working on that, yes?"
Heat reaches your cheeks. If only the poor woman knew what her dear son had done last night. If his behavior continues, perhaps it will be long before the Queen Dowager sees the face of a royal grandchild.
"We are trying, your majesty. We will not disappoint you." You reply, sipping tea from your own cup.
"Great! I shall send all types of herbs and tonics to help you conceive as fast as possible. I shall also draw up a chart after consulting the astrologer..." the Queen Dowager's voice fades into the background as your mind drifts off to the nights in the Detached palace, when Changbin would come and spend all his free time with you, against the rules of the palace. At that time, you had been sure that producing an heir would be a beautiful process, not a chore.
But Changbin does not even treat the thought like a chore.
Did he not love you? Did his Royal duties burden him too much?
When you leave the Queen Dowager's palace, you walk past The King's palace. It is as beautiful and majestic as they say. But you wonder if you'll ever be able to set foot in the same.
As if on cue, you see Concubine Jung walking out of the King's palace, her maids behind her. The butterflies in your stomach burn with jealousy.
She has a smirk on her face when she sees you.
"Eun, did you know there's a rumor around the palace that the King refused to sleep with the Queen last night? Sad, isn't it?" Concubine Jung says.
One of her maids giggle and nod, "Of course! How could the Queen even live with this shame?"
You cry yourself to sleep that night, while Somi does everything in her abilities to soothe you.
Needless to say, nothing worked.
*
"My lady, wake up. The King has invited you to breakfast with him." Somi informs one morning, six months after your wedding.
"Tell him I have a bad stomach bug. I cannot go."
You'd be found dead before sharing a meal with him and that obnoxious Concubine Jung. You'd shared enough meals with them already.
The past months, the King had not visited you even once but often you'd see him walking the gardens with Concubine Jung at his side.
After the first few weeks, you had no tears left to shed anymore so when the rumor came in last month that Concubine Jung might be pregnant, your eyes do not water no matter how much you force yourself to cry.
"I do not wish to congratulate them." You say, true and plain.
"My lady, he's invited only you. Not anyone else."
So you agree. As a last attempt to make your marriage work, even if it's just for your own sake.
Somi dresses you in green robes- The King's favorite. You quickly make your way to his palace, as if someone else would take your place if you didn't hurry. It's sad your thoughts had turned so negative in just half a year in the palace.
Your father had told you the King would take in many lovers during his lifetime, and that being Queen is about having power, not being loved.
But you think he didn't warn you enough. He didn't warn you how lonely it would be to sleep on the cold bed every night, how painful it would be to see the King smile at someone else.
Even if you did wish for a child, how could you produce you a child without Changbin?
"Good morning, your majesty." You say to him when you enter his bed chamber. It smells like cinnamon, a smell he'd often carry with himself back when he used to visit you at the Detached palace. Back when you were sure the king had been in love with you.
"Hello, my Queen. Please have a seat."
The butterflies dance around for a split second.
"Did you sleep well last night?" He asks, taking a seat in front of you.
"Yes." Lies. "Thank you for inviting me over."
When the maids leave the both of you alone, his demeanor changes.
"Actually, y/n, I had something to talk to you about." He says, casually, as if he hadn't been hurting you everyday for the past few months.
"What is it?" You ask.
He sighs, "It's mother. Ever since that rumor of Concubine Jung being pregnant spread. She wants the first grandchild to be of the Queen."
His words do not faze you, "How can I help you, Changbin?"
He frowns. Since when had your tone become this melancholic?
"Um, so if I have your consent, I'd like to try for a child tomorrow night. We'll see how that goes, yeah?"
"Okay. I will be honored." You say.
You finish up the food quickly and almost slide the doors open when he grabs your arm from behind.
"Y/n, what is it? Did something happen? Are your parents well?"
"My parents are well enough, thank you for asking." You say, keeping your eyes on the ground.
"Then? What happened? Is it Concubine Jung? Really, you did not have to be jealous of her. She's not pregnant. I can assure you of that. I have not consummated my marriage with any one of the concubines."
His words seem to have an effect on you. Your heart blossoms with hope but you keep your face and voice neutral.
"I am not jealous, Changbin. If one of the concubines get pregnant, I shall wish you both well."
You force your arm out of his grip and walk out the palace, not looking back once.
Changbin's stares at your leaving figure, now worried beyond relief that he might have broken the one person he cared for the most by his pursuits of a greater good.
*
While the past few months for you had been filled with loneliness, for Changbin it was almost the same-if not worse.
The first night of your marriage was filled with as many butterflies for him, as it was for you.
He had fallen in love with you and he wasn't afraid to show the world how much you meant to him. He wanted to hold you, kiss you, make love to you. And he had all plans to do that on the first night.
But that was until he had overheard a secret conversation between Concubine Jung and her father- Minister Jung.
For all he knew, Minister Jung had always wanted his daughter to be the Queen but being the dim-wit that she was, Concubine Jung could not even get through the first stage.
"Father, it's been two days since I'd been in the palace and that man has not visited me once. He had not even asked for my name the day of the welcoming. What kind of man is he? And you say I am to be Queen!"
"Hush, child. In this palace, even the walls are listening. Be careful. And as far as the position of Queen is concerned, you need not worry. If the King does bed the Queen tonight and she get pregnant, we shall make sure her pregnancy terminates before maturity. I have connections with all sorts of medicine vendors in the country, be assured, she shall never see the face of a child. After we weaken the Queen, we can take her throne as easily!"
Changbin had wanted to laugh at the man's foolish plans but deep down, he was worried as well. For you.
Which is why he pushed you away for so long and kept Concubine Jung close. While she tried everything in her power to seduce him, he refused her under the pretense of keeping an oath of abstinence for a year.
Every time she tried to even hold his hand, Changbin thought of you; your innocent eyes, your talks, your wit, your hands, your beautiful hair. No woman could make him feel like you do.
Changbin's secret informants had confirmed that Minister Jung had not one but two houses full of gold and cash he'd collected as illegal taxes from the local people. He'd also sometimes force husbands to send their wives to him in exchange for money. Even the thought nauseated Changbin.
Every time Concubine Jung visited, he made sure to collect some sort of evidence through her. He even visited her every night and while she snored away, he stole some of her gold jewlery and clothes to get them checked as evidence of the illegal taxes her father had been collecting.
And sure enough, after a few months of spying on her and her father, Changbin had gathered enough evidence by now to expose both of them at the court.
But he realised quickly that Minister Jung had a few tricks up his sleeves as well. The rumor of his daughter's pregnancy would make it difficult for Changbin to expose him easily, and so Changbin waited every night that the rumors would die down so he could run to the Queen's Palace and hug you with all his might. You were not safe unless the father and daughter were deposed.
And for some selfish reasons, Changbin had hoped you'd understand the reason behind his distance. But no woman could find a logical reason behind her lover being absent and it was horribly wrong for him to expect you to do the same.
"Are you stupid?" His friend, the eccentric dancer Minho had asked him.
Changbin had told him how coldly you'd behaved this afternoon when he'd asked you if you wished to try for a child. Most women would giggle and blush. But you were like a statue.
"You push her away for months and make her feel lonely and not loved and what not and you have the audacity to ask her that?"
"Well, yes. Mother had been pressuring me for a child and obviously, even with the pressure, I would never do anything that y/n would not have wanted but I thought it would be a great way to reconnect with her. Even if it didn't end in child making or whatever."
Minho let's out a frustrated groan, "You have to learn so much, Bin. But let's start with this- be honest with her. She's your wife and you ought to tell her everything. Give answers to all her questions and hold her hand if she let's you. Small steps first, a child can wait."
Changbin nods, " Okay, should I go to her right now?"
"Yes, you idiot!" Minho says, earning a slap on the arm from The King of Joseon.
He should be glad he's not being beheaded for calling the King an idiot.
*
You're almost done getting ready for bed when the lady in waiting makes an unexpected announcement .
"My lady, the King is here to see you."
Your heart leaps and the butterflies come alive again only to die down once you realise why he might be there. For a child. Isn't that why he's here? Isn't that why people get married in the first place?
"Y/n." He sighs when he enters the room, almost out of relief. He purses his lips.
"Is there anything I could help you with?" You ask.
Oh, how badly he'd hurt you. He could see the hurt in your eyes, in your voice, in your mannerisms.
"Y/n, I'm sorry. I really am. I know I have caused you pain and I cannot imagine how lonely it must have been. But I hope you know that I really do love you and only you."
"Then why the distance? Why visit Concubine Jung every night?" You ask, hands on your hips.
The tears that had left you threatened to return again.
And he tells you everything. From the conversation he overheard to how insistently Concubine Jung asked him for a child to how much solid proof he'd collected over the months and how he'd sent those evidences to the Minister of Security, who in turn ensured that by tomorrow the Jungs will out of the palace and be imprisoned for life.
It all makes sense to you now, of course it does. Yet you feel guilty. He'd been trying to protect you, all this while.
"I'm sorry, Changbin. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I only-"
"Don't apologize, y/n. It's me that should apologize. I should have somehow tried to contact you and tell you about everything. I'm-"
"No, no, Please. Don't. You only tried to protect me and-"
"No, y/n, it's all my fault, please-"
Somi overhears the entire conversation through the door, her mind finally relaxing after the misunderstanding had been solved between you and the King. She could no longer stand you being this sad. And she somehow knew King Changbin had his own reasons for his behavior.
She hears soft sounds of kissing through the door and takes it as a sign to move away from the door, and join the other maids waiting outside the palace door. She smiles to herself.
The butterflies burn with passion.
"I do not wish for a child this early. I want to be here like this with you for a while, just y/n and Changbin and maybe two or three years later, we could try for a child. What do you think?"
When he kissed you initially, you half expected this to end up in the bed. But it did. And you're glad it did.
The butterflies bloom more than ever.
You're wrapped in his arms, tightly. The nakedness no longer bothering the either of you.
"I agree. I want to be this close to you every night, not as a Queen or the mother of your child. But as y/n. As your wife."
Changbin draws his face closer to you, pecking you on the lips, "And so you shall, my love."
And so you shall.
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sparklingchan · 20 days
Text
Serendipity || Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)
Pairing: Reader(fem.) X Changbin
Word Count: 5.4k+
Warnings: Suggestive, mentions of pregnancy (the reader is not pregnant) , mentions of poison, Changbin is sweeter than sugar. Set in the Joseon Era.
Genre: Royal AU, Arranged marriage AU, fluff with very slight angst.
Description: The King of Joseon had chosen you as his queen. But there are those that wish for this union to fail. Will your love be enough to overcome the competitiveness of the Palace?
A/N: Hello everyone! Back with another installation of the SKZ Royal AU. I am genuinely in love with this one ngl. King Changbin is a rizzler y'all. Hope you guys have fun reading this <3
Do check out the other fics in the skz royal series. (The stories are not interrelated)
Here's the link to the masterlist.
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Being a woman in this country is not an easy task. Especially when one is a candidate for the position of the country's Queen.
You'd dreamt of this for years, the idea sewn into every thought by your father even since you were child. With time, you'd welcomed the thought without a complaint.
"My lady, the Royal messenger is here." Somi informs you, and your nervousness just goes up by a thousand.
Did you manage to become the Queen and make your father proud? Or did you get disqualified and were now just a daughter of some minister and free to marry any other commoner like yourself?
You run down the hallway and enter the pavillion in front of your house, the colorful banners of the Royal entourage shine under the bright sun.
You straighten your robes and kneel down, head almost touching the ground, as a mark of respect for the King's verdict.
The chief Eunuch opens up the scroll in his hands.
"Please find enclosed the Royal Edict from the King's Court:
I, Seo Changbin, the King of Joseon, have chosen Miss y/n of House Kim as my wife and, by extension, the Queen of our beloved country. I have consulted the three High State Councilors and my mother- the Queen Dowager about the same and we have all unanimously agreed that she would be the best choice for the country as well as the Royal family, owing it all to her wits, beauty and manners.
Congratulations to Miss y/n and her family.
The Royal family would also like to extend an invitation to the bride-to-be to shift into the Detached Palace at the earliest as part of the customary pre wedding ritual. "
It feels as if someone had punched out the air from your lungs, you couldn't speak nor stand, while your parents and brother continuously thanked the Royal Eunuch, accepting all the gifts sent by the Palace for you.
But you couldn't move. You just stayed there, frozen. For life as you had known it has come to an end.
And thereafter begins a new, Royal chapter of your life.
*
"I'm going to miss you, my child."
The days since the Edict pass by in a heartbeat. All the members of your family were busy with packing your belongings while you were busy with mentally preparing yourself to leave your family and house behind forever.
Yes, you'd always wanted to be a Queen. Yes, you'd spent years getting ready for this role. Yet when the time finally comes, it hurts you to think about leaving behind twenty three years of your life.
"I'm going to miss you too, mother." On hearing your words, your mother cries harder.
But as usual, your father shows no emotion. His face is calm.
"Remember, y/n, there are no friends in the Palace other than your husband. You cannot confide in anyone but him. The other concubines will do anything to gain his favor, but you shall always be a step ahead. Be vigilant and loyal. You will make a great Queen." He says. Like the strategist he'd always been.
"Yes, father." You reply, swallowing the lump in your throat.
Your mother clinges to your arm.
"We will try and visit you whenever we can. I'm sure his Majesty will allow."
"Yes, of course. You can visit me anytime. The Palace is only a few hours from here."
"Oh, my child! How will I ever live without you!" Another sob tears out from your mother's throat. You hug her with all the love and care you could muster up in that moment.
Your father walks out of the room, hands behind his back and face twisted into a frown.
*
The Detached Palace is to be a temporary residence for the bride-to-be. For over the next thirty days, you would be receiving lessons on various subjects like history, Royal Etiquette, sewing, cooking and most importantly- lessons on intimacy. The last lesson is considered most important, according to Somi, since it allows you to birth as many healthy heirs as possible.
After helping you dress up for the night and setting up your bed, your maids take your leave for the night, only Somi remaining by your side.
"Do you think I'll see the King tomorrow? It's queer but I'd like to know what my future husband looks like, at least."
Somi sighs, "I don't think it's allowed, my lady. I believe you can only see his Majesty on your wedding day. A month from now."
You're oddly disappointed. You had dreamt so many nights of seeing the King, holding his hand, being by his side, yet the King in those dreams often never had a face.
Was it wrong to yearn to look at your future husband's face? Just once?
A subtle knock on your door startles the both of you.
"Yes?"
"My lady, the King is here to see you." Your handmaid almost whispers the words through the door.
With unparalleled urgency, Somi helps you straighten your clothes and rushes off towards the door.
"Your majesty." The maids and Somi greet him with the customary bow, while you purse your lips in a line, head hanging in a subtle bow.
Your heart hammers against your chest. It's so loud, you're sure even the King could hear it.
"Please give us some privacy." The King commands.
And you heart beats faster on hearing his voice for the first time. Gentle, yet authoritative, just like you'd dreamt.
When Somi closes the door behind her, you almost regret wishing to see your future husband. The proximity makes you nervous and you could only hope you'd not faint in front of him.
"My lady, you may rise."
You'd almost forgotten you were still bowing to him. You mentally slap yourself.
"Y-yes, your majesty. " your voice comes out as an embarrassing squeak, your eyes still on the ground.
You'd prayed for this moment for years, y/n. Why couldn't you just meet his eyes?
As if sensing your inner conflict, the King takes two long strides towards you and hooks his index finger under your chin, sending a chill down your body.
"My lady, please look at me."
And you do.
And he's like everything you'd ever wished for.
Perfect, like a beautifully crafted sculpture.
His soft brown locks, his rosy lips, the subtle mischief in his eyes. Everything is perfect.
"Y-yes, your majesty. Sorry." You mumble.
The king smiles, rubbing circles into your cheeks.
"You may call me Changbin when we're alone."
You nod.
"I just came to ask if you're finding your new residence comfortable. We both shall be busy with lessons tomorrow onwards so I figured tonight would be a good time to visit my bride."
His bride? His bride?
Your legs feel weak.
"I'm finding it extremely comfortable, your majesty. Thank you for your hospitality. "
Changbin let's out a low chuckle, leaning towards you. His lips hover inches above yours. And when he speaks, you feel hot air on your lips, "I told you, y/n. Call me Changbin."
You frantically nod.
"Good. Better be careful next time, my bride."
*
When you wake up the next morning, you're sure you'd dreamt everything that happened last night.
But apparently not.
"The King is a dashing young man." Somi teases as she lathers a concoction of herbs into your hair. "You're lucky, my lady. He seems to be a gentleman."
But you are too caught up in your thoughts to reply to her.
Did the king of Joseon really come all the way to the Detached Palace to see you? What if he's disappointed with how you had reacted? But he shouldn't blame you at all.
You had not been expecting anyone yesterday night, especially not him. But he did come to you. And he touched your chin. If you focus hard enough, you could feel his touch lingering in the area.
"My lady?" Somi clicks her fingers in front of your eyes, "Come back to earth. We have to get you ready for the classes today."
Blushing, you reply, "What classes do I have today?"
You had three classes today: Palace etiquette, literature and what Somi insists most important: lessons on reproduction.
While Palace etiquette mostly includes lesson on how to behave with Royal elders, ministers, maids, the King, literature includes important pieces of literature that are important for a woman.
And lastly, the most dreaded time arrived.
The reproduction lessons.
The tutor shows you all sorts of obnoxious hand movements and some drawings of couples in intimate positions. You feel uncomfortable from the beginning till the end.
A woman at least five decades older than you is teaching you about intimacy? Very awkward, to say the least.
But you heave a sigh of relief when the classes end for the day and you make your way to your room in the Detached palace.
"It's just the first day, Somi and I'm already tired to the bone." You say, kicking your shoes off.
"Well, it's going to be a lifetime of time this now, my lady. And you best be prepared for it."
You reply Somi with silence. But her words make you wonder. If this palace life would ever be less tiring someday? Would it even be worth it?
Perhaps not.
But King Changbin 's face flashes in front of your eyes; his sparkling eyes, mischievous grin, his feather like touch- maybe he is what will make everything worth it.
That night, after your maids get your bed ready while Somi is combing your hair, a familiar announcement echoes through the corridors of the Detached Palace.
"My lady, the King is here to see you."
His smiling face peeps through the doors as your maids hurry out of the room. He wears blue silk robes, and you feel weaker in his presence than you did yesterday.
"Did you miss me, y/n?"
And thus begins a month of secret nightly visits by the King of Joseon to the Detached Palace.
Everyday, you wake up looking forward to the time when King Changbin would come knocking at your doors, always up to some jesting.
Sometimes, he brings you fruits you'd mentioned you liked or he tells you stories from his childhood. At other times, he tells you about that one teacher he will hate till the end of time.
But most times, he spends his time listening to you talk- about everything and everyone, about the skies and gods, about ghosts and afterlife, about favourite foods and literature. After you'd overcome the initial shyness, opening upto Changbin was as easy as breathing, almost natural. Of course, you were still nervous around him, but it's a feeling you'd come to like.
Is this what the writers and poets describe as 'butterflies'?
"Do you think I'll make a good Queen?" You ask him one night. He sits in front you on a cushion, across the room, a position you told him is appropriate for two unwed people (although he did not agree to it initially).
If your nightly shenanigans were to be ever discovered by anyone, you would not want to be found in close proximity to each other even though you were betrothed to each other. He's breaking Palace rules everyday as it is.
He hums, "Of course! I think you'll make a great Queen. You're so good at your lessons already."
"That does not guarantee anything. I might not be good at taking the responsibilities."
"Do you trust my judgment, y/n? I think you'll make a great Queen. And even if you are overwhelmed, I shall always be here."
That night he leaves earlier than he usually does, owing to the fact that tomorrow is the day where his concubines are to be welcomed into the palace. Five of them.
The thought leaves you feeling bitter and dejected, but you make sure to not make those feelings obvious. This is a rule for Kings, to take as many concubines as possible to ensure the continuation of the blood line.
"Don't worry, my lady. Your rank in the palace is above these petty concubines. They will not mess with you." Somi comforts your thoughts the next day.
"But what if Changbin favors them more?"
Somi does not reply to that question.
*
On your 18th birthday, your father had promised to you that he would make you the Queen of this country. He kept his promise because here you are, after five years, getting dressed to be married to the most powerful man in the country.
Your father always insisted that powerful men do not love but Changbin's sparkling eyes always contradicted everything your father had taught. Nevertheless, you know the competitiveness among the concubines for the King's affection is mad. More often than not, even the Queen gets involved in petty fights.
But you try to remove all thoughts of your father and the concubines today. Because today, you are to be married to King Changbin. From today, your name will be written in the historical logs of the Royal family. From today, a new life begins.
"Are you okay, my lady?" Somi asks, "You look worried."
"I'm fine. Just hope the ceremony goes well."
The ceremony does go well and in all honesty, you were not worried about the ceremony itself. You were worried about the aftermath.
The maids guide you to your new palace, and get you dressed in white robes for the wedding night. The night when you will finally meet Changbin as his wife. The butterflies swim around in your belly.
The bed is decorated with flower petals and a few candles are lit. Everything is perfect.
"The King is here." One of your ladies in waiting announce and you get up to greet your husband.
The maids leave the room as the doors slide open and Changbin steps in, also dressed in white robes. He looks dashing, but his signature grin is nowhere to be found.
When the doors close behind him, he walks past you to the bed, the scent of liquor evident in his breath.
"Have you been drinking, your majesty?" You ask him, worried by his odd behavior.
What was wrong with him? Why wouldn't he even bother to meet your eyes?
"Changbin." He slurs, wrapping the blankets around him, "Call me Changbin."
He turns away from you and is snoring away in no time.
The butterflies in your stomach flutter around before dropping dead.
*
You did not sleep that night. Even though you were sleeping next to the man you love, you felt lonelier than ever.
Many times during the night, you consider walking out of the bed chamber to the servants quarter so you could talk to Somi. But you couldn't do that. Because you were now the Queen of this country and every single step you take will have its repercussions.
When morning comes, Changbin wakes up in a haste and greets you with a subtle nod and walks out of the chamber in long strides.
You well the tears back. It's your first day as Queen and hadn't he always promised to be there when you were overwhelmed? Had he lied? Or was it Changbin's doppelganger who visited you every night in the Detached palace?
Somi comes in a few minutes later with an excited smile on her face.
When she does your hair for the day, she asks, "So, how was the wedding night?"
You want to answer her truthfully - how cold Changbin had been, how he had not even looked at you let alone touch you, how you think he had changed almost overnight. But you see the prying eyes of the other palace maids and swallow your sadness.
"It was perfect. Like everything I'd ever hoped for."
"He was gentle, I hope." She says through a grin, but it feels like someone pouring alcohol on an open wound.
"Yes. He was."
As part of royal customs, the new bride is supposed to visit the senior most female member of the family and greet her. In your case, the member happens to King Changbin's mother.
Somi dresses you in the most exquisite silks and adorns your hair with the most precious flower but you feel nothing at all when everyone compliments you on the way out of your new Queen's palace.
Your mother in law's palace is a little far from the Queen's palace yet it is as beautiful as any other palace. From inside as well as outside.
"Greetings, your majesty. It is nice to meet you." You bow in front of the Queen Dowager.
The woman-not more than sixty years of age- looks at you with a gentle smile.
"Come in, y/n. Please be at ease."
You're seated in front of her on a cushion while the Queen Dowager's maids serve you breakfast.
"I hope your first day here goes well, my child. Our family is thrilled to have you." She says.
"The pleasure is all mine, your majesty. I am honored to be a part of this family." You say.
In the back of your mind, you wonder if Changbin is thrilled to have you or not. Probably not.
The mere thought of yesterday's rejection stings.
"Y/n, truth be told, my son is a quite a troubled man. His father was murdered in front of his eyes. He was made the king when he was only 16 years old. It's been 7 years since then, but the burden only gets worse. I hope you, as a Queen and as his wife, can help him lessen these burdens. Can you do that?" The Queen Dowager asks again, sipping tea from a small cup.
"I will do everything I can to help him." If only he'd let you.
"Good, good. I'm glad. And one more thing, y/n, you know as Queen one of your primary duties is to produce an heir for Changbin's throne. I hope you're working on that, yes?"
Heat reaches your cheeks. If only the poor woman knew what her dear son had done last night. If his behavior continues, perhaps it will be long before the Queen Dowager sees the face of a royal grandchild.
"We are trying, your majesty. We will not disappoint you." You reply, sipping tea from your own cup.
"Great! I shall send all types of herbs and tonics to help you conceive as fast as possible. I shall also draw up a chart after consulting the astrologer..." the Queen Dowager's voice fades into the background as your mind drifts off to the nights in the Detached palace, when Changbin would come and spend all his free time with you, against the rules of the palace. At that time, you had been sure that producing an heir would be a beautiful process, not a chore.
But Changbin does not even treat the thought like a chore.
Did he not love you? Did his Royal duties burden him too much?
When you leave the Queen Dowager's palace, you walk past The King's palace. It is as beautiful and majestic as they say. But you wonder if you'll ever be able to set foot in the same.
As if on cue, you see Concubine Jung walking out of the King's palace, her maids behind her. The butterflies in your stomach burn with jealousy.
She has a smirk on her face when she sees you.
"Eun, did you know there's a rumor around the palace that the King refused to sleep with the Queen last night? Sad, isn't it?" Concubine Jung says.
One of her maids giggle and nod, "Of course! How could the Queen even live with this shame?"
You cry yourself to sleep that night, while Somi does everything in her abilities to soothe you.
Needless to say, nothing worked.
*
"My lady, wake up. The King has invited you to breakfast with him." Somi informs one morning, six months after your wedding.
"Tell him I have a bad stomach bug. I cannot go."
You'd be found dead before sharing a meal with him and that obnoxious Concubine Jung. You'd shared enough meals with them already.
The past months, the King had not visited you even once but often you'd see him walking the gardens with Concubine Jung at his side.
After the first few weeks, you had no tears left to shed anymore so when the rumor came in last month that Concubine Jung might be pregnant, your eyes do not water no matter how much you force yourself to cry.
"I do not wish to congratulate them." You say, true and plain.
"My lady, he's invited only you. Not anyone else."
So you agree. As a last attempt to make your marriage work, even if it's just for your own sake.
Somi dresses you in green robes- The King's favorite. You quickly make your way to his palace, as if someone else would take your place if you didn't hurry. It's sad your thoughts had turned so negative in just half a year in the palace.
Your father had told you the King would take in many lovers during his lifetime, and that being Queen is about having power, not being loved.
But you think he didn't warn you enough. He didn't warn you how lonely it would be to sleep on the cold bed every night, how painful it would be to see the King smile at someone else.
Even if you did wish for a child, how could you produce you a child without Changbin?
"Good morning, your majesty." You say to him when you enter his bed chamber. It smells like cinnamon, a smell he'd often carry with himself back when he used to visit you at the Detached palace. Back when you were sure the king had been in love with you.
"Hello, my Queen. Please have a seat."
The butterflies dance around for a split second.
"Did you sleep well last night?" He asks, taking a seat in front of you.
"Yes." Lies. "Thank you for inviting me over."
When the maids leave the both of you alone, his demeanor changes.
"Actually, y/n, I had something to talk to you about." He says, casually, as if he hadn't been hurting you everyday for the past few months.
"What is it?" You ask.
He sighs, "It's mother. Ever since that rumor of Concubine Jung being pregnant spread. She wants the first grandchild to be of the Queen."
His words do not faze you, "How can I help you, Changbin?"
He frowns. Since when had your tone become this melancholic?
"Um, so if I have your consent, I'd like to try for a child tomorrow night. We'll see how that goes, yeah?"
"Okay. I will be honored." You say.
You finish up the food quickly and almost slide the doors open when he grabs your arm from behind.
"Y/n, what is it? Did something happen? Are your parents well?"
"My parents are well enough, thank you for asking." You say, keeping your eyes on the ground.
"Then? What happened? Is it Concubine Jung? Really, you did not have to be jealous of her. She's not pregnant. I can assure you of that. I have not consummated my marriage with any one of the concubines."
His words seem to have an effect on you. Your heart blossoms with hope but you keep your face and voice neutral.
"I am not jealous, Changbin. If one of the concubines get pregnant, I shall wish you both well."
You force your arm out of his grip and walk out the palace, not looking back once.
Changbin's stares at your leaving figure, now worried beyond relief that he might have broken the one person he cared for the most by his pursuits of a greater good.
*
While the past few months for you had been filled with loneliness, for Changbin it was almost the same-if not worse.
The first night of your marriage was filled with as many butterflies for him, as it was for you.
He had fallen in love with you and he wasn't afraid to show the world how much you meant to him. He wanted to hold you, kiss you, make love to you. And he had all plans to do that on the first night.
But that was until he had overheard a secret conversation between Concubine Jung and her father- Minister Jung.
For all he knew, Minister Jung had always wanted his daughter to be the Queen but being the dim-wit that she was, Concubine Jung could not even get through the first stage.
"Father, it's been two days since I'd been in the palace and that man has not visited me once. He had not even asked for my name the day of the welcoming. What kind of man is he? And you say I am to be Queen!"
"Hush, child. In this palace, even the walls are listening. Be careful. And as far as the position of Queen is concerned, you need not worry. If the King does bed the Queen tonight and she get pregnant, we shall make sure her pregnancy terminates before maturity. I have connections with all sorts of medicine vendors in the country, be assured, she shall never see the face of a child. After we weaken the Queen, we can take her throne as easily!"
Changbin had wanted to laugh at the man's foolish plans but deep down, he was worried as well. For you.
Which is why he pushed you away for so long and kept Concubine Jung close. While she tried everything in her power to seduce him, he refused her under the pretense of keeping an oath of abstinence for a year.
Every time she tried to even hold his hand, Changbin thought of you; your innocent eyes, your talks, your wit, your hands, your beautiful hair. No woman could make him feel like you do.
Changbin's secret informants had confirmed that Minister Jung had not one but two houses full of gold and cash he'd collected as illegal taxes from the local people. He'd also sometimes force husbands to send their wives to him in exchange for money. Even the thought nauseated Changbin.
Every time Concubine Jung visited, he made sure to collect some sort of evidence through her. He even visited her every night and while she snored away, he stole some of her gold jewlery and clothes to get them checked as evidence of the illegal taxes her father had been collecting.
And sure enough, after a few months of spying on her and her father, Changbin had gathered enough evidence by now to expose both of them at the court.
But he realised quickly that Minister Jung had a few tricks up his sleeves as well. The rumor of his daughter's pregnancy would make it difficult for Changbin to expose him easily, and so Changbin waited every night that the rumors would die down so he could run to the Queen's Palace and hug you with all his might. You were not safe unless the father and daughter were deposed.
And for some selfish reasons, Changbin had hoped you'd understand the reason behind his distance. But no woman could find a logical reason behind her lover being absent and it was horribly wrong for him to expect you to do the same.
"Are you stupid?" His friend, the eccentric dancer Minho had asked him.
Changbin had told him how coldly you'd behaved this afternoon when he'd asked you if you wished to try for a child. Most women would giggle and blush. But you were like a statue.
"You push her away for months and make her feel lonely and not loved and what not and you have the audacity to ask her that?"
"Well, yes. Mother had been pressuring me for a child and obviously, even with the pressure, I would never do anything that y/n would not have wanted but I thought it would be a great way to reconnect with her. Even if it didn't end in child making or whatever."
Minho let's out a frustrated groan, "You have to learn so much, Bin. But let's start with this- be honest with her. She's your wife and you ought to tell her everything. Give answers to all her questions and hold her hand if she let's you. Small steps first, a child can wait."
Changbin nods, " Okay, should I go to her right now?"
"Yes, you idiot!" Minho says, earning a slap on the arm from The King of Joseon.
He should be glad he's not being beheaded for calling the King an idiot.
*
You're almost done getting ready for bed when the lady in waiting makes an unexpected announcement .
"My lady, the King is here to see you."
Your heart leaps and the butterflies come alive again only to die down once you realise why he might be there. For a child. Isn't that why he's here? Isn't that why people get married in the first place?
"Y/n." He sighs when he enters the room, almost out of relief. He purses his lips.
"Is there anything I could help you with?" You ask.
Oh, how badly he'd hurt you. He could see the hurt in your eyes, in your voice, in your mannerisms.
"Y/n, I'm sorry. I really am. I know I have caused you pain and I cannot imagine how lonely it must have been. But I hope you know that I really do love you and only you."
"Then why the distance? Why visit Concubine Jung every night?" You ask, hands on your hips.
The tears that had left you threatened to return again.
And he tells you everything. From the conversation he overheard to how insistently Concubine Jung asked him for a child to how much solid proof he'd collected over the months and how he'd sent those evidences to the Minister of Security, who in turn ensured that by tomorrow the Jungs will out of the palace and be imprisoned for life.
It all makes sense to you now, of course it does. Yet you feel guilty. He'd been trying to protect you, all this while.
"I'm sorry, Changbin. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I only-"
"Don't apologize, y/n. It's me that should apologize. I should have somehow tried to contact you and tell you about everything. I'm-"
"No, no, Please. Don't. You only tried to protect me and-"
"No, y/n, it's all my fault, please-"
Somi overhears the entire conversation through the door, her mind finally relaxing after the misunderstanding had been solved between you and the King. She could no longer stand you being this sad. And she somehow knew King Changbin had his own reasons for his behavior.
She hears soft sounds of kissing through the door and takes it as a sign to move away from the door, and join the other maids waiting outside the palace door. She smiles to herself.
The butterflies burn with passion.
"I do not wish for a child this early. I want to be here like this with you for a while, just y/n and Changbin and maybe two or three years later, we could try for a child. What do you think?"
When he kissed you initially, you half expected this to end up in the bed. But it did. And you're glad it did.
The butterflies bloom more than ever.
You're wrapped in his arms, tightly. The nakedness no longer bothering the either of you.
"I agree. I want to be this close to you every night, not as a Queen or the mother of your child. But as y/n. As your wife."
Changbin draws his face closer to you, pecking you on the lips, "And so you shall, my love."
And so you shall.
89 notes · View notes
sparklingchan · 20 days
Text
Serendipity || Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)
Pairing: Reader(fem.) X Changbin
Word Count: 5.4k+
Warnings: Suggestive, mentions of pregnancy (the reader is not pregnant) , mentions of poison, Changbin is sweeter than sugar. Set in the Joseon Era.
Genre: Royal AU, Arranged marriage AU, fluff with very slight angst.
Description: The King of Joseon had chosen you as his queen. But there are those that wish for this union to fail. Will your love be enough to overcome the competitiveness of the Palace?
A/N: Hello everyone! Back with another installation of the SKZ Royal AU. I am genuinely in love with this one ngl. King Changbin is a rizzler y'all. Hope you guys have fun reading this <3
Do check out the other fics in the skz royal series. (The stories are not interrelated)
Here's the link to the masterlist.
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Being a woman in this country is not an easy task. Especially when one is a candidate for the position of the country's Queen.
You'd dreamt of this for years, the idea sewn into every thought by your father even since you were child. With time, you'd welcomed the thought without a complaint.
"My lady, the Royal messenger is here." Somi informs you, and your nervousness just goes up by a thousand.
Did you manage to become the Queen and make your father proud? Or did you get disqualified and were now just a daughter of some minister and free to marry any other commoner like yourself?
You run down the hallway and enter the pavillion in front of your house, the colorful banners of the Royal entourage shine under the bright sun.
You straighten your robes and kneel down, head almost touching the ground, as a mark of respect for the King's verdict.
The chief Eunuch opens up the scroll in his hands.
"Please find enclosed the Royal Edict from the King's Court:
I, Seo Changbin, the King of Joseon, have chosen Miss y/n of House Kim as my wife and, by extension, the Queen of our beloved country. I have consulted the three High State Councilors and my mother- the Queen Dowager about the same and we have all unanimously agreed that she would be the best choice for the country as well as the Royal family, owing it all to her wits, beauty and manners.
Congratulations to Miss y/n and her family.
The Royal family would also like to extend an invitation to the bride-to-be to shift into the Detached Palace at the earliest as part of the customary pre wedding ritual. "
It feels as if someone had punched out the air from your lungs, you couldn't speak nor stand, while your parents and brother continuously thanked the Royal Eunuch, accepting all the gifts sent by the Palace for you.
But you couldn't move. You just stayed there, frozen. For life as you had known it has come to an end.
And thereafter begins a new, Royal chapter of your life.
*
"I'm going to miss you, my child."
The days since the Edict pass by in a heartbeat. All the members of your family were busy with packing your belongings while you were busy with mentally preparing yourself to leave your family and house behind forever.
Yes, you'd always wanted to be a Queen. Yes, you'd spent years getting ready for this role. Yet when the time finally comes, it hurts you to think about leaving behind twenty three years of your life.
"I'm going to miss you too, mother." On hearing your words, your mother cries harder.
But as usual, your father shows no emotion. His face is calm.
"Remember, y/n, there are no friends in the Palace other than your husband. You cannot confide in anyone but him. The other concubines will do anything to gain his favor, but you shall always be a step ahead. Be vigilant and loyal. You will make a great Queen." He says. Like the strategist he'd always been.
"Yes, father." You reply, swallowing the lump in your throat.
Your mother clinges to your arm.
"We will try and visit you whenever we can. I'm sure his Majesty will allow."
"Yes, of course. You can visit me anytime. The Palace is only a few hours from here."
"Oh, my child! How will I ever live without you!" Another sob tears out from your mother's throat. You hug her with all the love and care you could muster up in that moment.
Your father walks out of the room, hands behind his back and face twisted into a frown.
*
The Detached Palace is to be a temporary residence for the bride-to-be. For over the next thirty days, you would be receiving lessons on various subjects like history, Royal Etiquette, sewing, cooking and most importantly- lessons on intimacy. The last lesson is considered most important, according to Somi, since it allows you to birth as many healthy heirs as possible.
After helping you dress up for the night and setting up your bed, your maids take your leave for the night, only Somi remaining by your side.
"Do you think I'll see the King tomorrow? It's queer but I'd like to know what my future husband looks like, at least."
Somi sighs, "I don't think it's allowed, my lady. I believe you can only see his Majesty on your wedding day. A month from now."
You're oddly disappointed. You had dreamt so many nights of seeing the King, holding his hand, being by his side, yet the King in those dreams often never had a face.
Was it wrong to yearn to look at your future husband's face? Just once?
A subtle knock on your door startles the both of you.
"Yes?"
"My lady, the King is here to see you." Your handmaid almost whispers the words through the door.
With unparalleled urgency, Somi helps you straighten your clothes and rushes off towards the door.
"Your majesty." The maids and Somi greet him with the customary bow, while you purse your lips in a line, head hanging in a subtle bow.
Your heart hammers against your chest. It's so loud, you're sure even the King could hear it.
"Please give us some privacy." The King commands.
And you heart beats faster on hearing his voice for the first time. Gentle, yet authoritative, just like you'd dreamt.
When Somi closes the door behind her, you almost regret wishing to see your future husband. The proximity makes you nervous and you could only hope you'd not faint in front of him.
"My lady, you may rise."
You'd almost forgotten you were still bowing to him. You mentally slap yourself.
"Y-yes, your majesty. " your voice comes out as an embarrassing squeak, your eyes still on the ground.
You'd prayed for this moment for years, y/n. Why couldn't you just meet his eyes?
As if sensing your inner conflict, the King takes two long strides towards you and hooks his index finger under your chin, sending a chill down your body.
"My lady, please look at me."
And you do.
And he's like everything you'd ever wished for.
Perfect, like a beautifully crafted sculpture.
His soft brown locks, his rosy lips, the subtle mischief in his eyes. Everything is perfect.
"Y-yes, your majesty. Sorry." You mumble.
The king smiles, rubbing circles into your cheeks.
"You may call me Changbin when we're alone."
You nod.
"I just came to ask if you're finding your new residence comfortable. We both shall be busy with lessons tomorrow onwards so I figured tonight would be a good time to visit my bride."
His bride? His bride?
Your legs feel weak.
"I'm finding it extremely comfortable, your majesty. Thank you for your hospitality. "
Changbin let's out a low chuckle, leaning towards you. His lips hover inches above yours. And when he speaks, you feel hot air on your lips, "I told you, y/n. Call me Changbin."
You frantically nod.
"Good. Better be careful next time, my bride."
*
When you wake up the next morning, you're sure you'd dreamt everything that happened last night.
But apparently not.
"The King is a dashing young man." Somi teases as she lathers a concoction of herbs into your hair. "You're lucky, my lady. He seems to be a gentleman."
But you are too caught up in your thoughts to reply to her.
Did the king of Joseon really come all the way to the Detached Palace to see you? What if he's disappointed with how you had reacted? But he shouldn't blame you at all.
You had not been expecting anyone yesterday night, especially not him. But he did come to you. And he touched your chin. If you focus hard enough, you could feel his touch lingering in the area.
"My lady?" Somi clicks her fingers in front of your eyes, "Come back to earth. We have to get you ready for the classes today."
Blushing, you reply, "What classes do I have today?"
You had three classes today: Palace etiquette, literature and what Somi insists most important: lessons on reproduction.
While Palace etiquette mostly includes lesson on how to behave with Royal elders, ministers, maids, the King, literature includes important pieces of literature that are important for a woman.
And lastly, the most dreaded time arrived.
The reproduction lessons.
The tutor shows you all sorts of obnoxious hand movements and some drawings of couples in intimate positions. You feel uncomfortable from the beginning till the end.
A woman at least five decades older than you is teaching you about intimacy? Very awkward, to say the least.
But you heave a sigh of relief when the classes end for the day and you make your way to your room in the Detached palace.
"It's just the first day, Somi and I'm already tired to the bone." You say, kicking your shoes off.
"Well, it's going to be a lifetime of time this now, my lady. And you best be prepared for it."
You reply Somi with silence. But her words make you wonder. If this palace life would ever be less tiring someday? Would it even be worth it?
Perhaps not.
But King Changbin 's face flashes in front of your eyes; his sparkling eyes, mischievous grin, his feather like touch- maybe he is what will make everything worth it.
That night, after your maids get your bed ready while Somi is combing your hair, a familiar announcement echoes through the corridors of the Detached Palace.
"My lady, the King is here to see you."
His smiling face peeps through the doors as your maids hurry out of the room. He wears blue silk robes, and you feel weaker in his presence than you did yesterday.
"Did you miss me, y/n?"
And thus begins a month of secret nightly visits by the King of Joseon to the Detached Palace.
Everyday, you wake up looking forward to the time when King Changbin would come knocking at your doors, always up to some jesting.
Sometimes, he brings you fruits you'd mentioned you liked or he tells you stories from his childhood. At other times, he tells you about that one teacher he will hate till the end of time.
But most times, he spends his time listening to you talk- about everything and everyone, about the skies and gods, about ghosts and afterlife, about favourite foods and literature. After you'd overcome the initial shyness, opening upto Changbin was as easy as breathing, almost natural. Of course, you were still nervous around him, but it's a feeling you'd come to like.
Is this what the writers and poets describe as 'butterflies'?
"Do you think I'll make a good Queen?" You ask him one night. He sits in front you on a cushion, across the room, a position you told him is appropriate for two unwed people (although he did not agree to it initially).
If your nightly shenanigans were to be ever discovered by anyone, you would not want to be found in close proximity to each other even though you were betrothed to each other. He's breaking Palace rules everyday as it is.
He hums, "Of course! I think you'll make a great Queen. You're so good at your lessons already."
"That does not guarantee anything. I might not be good at taking the responsibilities."
"Do you trust my judgment, y/n? I think you'll make a great Queen. And even if you are overwhelmed, I shall always be here."
That night he leaves earlier than he usually does, owing to the fact that tomorrow is the day where his concubines are to be welcomed into the palace. Five of them.
The thought leaves you feeling bitter and dejected, but you make sure to not make those feelings obvious. This is a rule for Kings, to take as many concubines as possible to ensure the continuation of the blood line.
"Don't worry, my lady. Your rank in the palace is above these petty concubines. They will not mess with you." Somi comforts your thoughts the next day.
"But what if Changbin favors them more?"
Somi does not reply to that question.
*
On your 18th birthday, your father had promised to you that he would make you the Queen of this country. He kept his promise because here you are, after five years, getting dressed to be married to the most powerful man in the country.
Your father always insisted that powerful men do not love but Changbin's sparkling eyes always contradicted everything your father had taught. Nevertheless, you know the competitiveness among the concubines for the King's affection is mad. More often than not, even the Queen gets involved in petty fights.
But you try to remove all thoughts of your father and the concubines today. Because today, you are to be married to King Changbin. From today, your name will be written in the historical logs of the Royal family. From today, a new life begins.
"Are you okay, my lady?" Somi asks, "You look worried."
"I'm fine. Just hope the ceremony goes well."
The ceremony does go well and in all honesty, you were not worried about the ceremony itself. You were worried about the aftermath.
The maids guide you to your new palace, and get you dressed in white robes for the wedding night. The night when you will finally meet Changbin as his wife. The butterflies swim around in your belly.
The bed is decorated with flower petals and a few candles are lit. Everything is perfect.
"The King is here." One of your ladies in waiting announce and you get up to greet your husband.
The maids leave the room as the doors slide open and Changbin steps in, also dressed in white robes. He looks dashing, but his signature grin is nowhere to be found.
When the doors close behind him, he walks past you to the bed, the scent of liquor evident in his breath.
"Have you been drinking, your majesty?" You ask him, worried by his odd behavior.
What was wrong with him? Why wouldn't he even bother to meet your eyes?
"Changbin." He slurs, wrapping the blankets around him, "Call me Changbin."
He turns away from you and is snoring away in no time.
The butterflies in your stomach flutter around before dropping dead.
*
You did not sleep that night. Even though you were sleeping next to the man you love, you felt lonelier than ever.
Many times during the night, you consider walking out of the bed chamber to the servants quarter so you could talk to Somi. But you couldn't do that. Because you were now the Queen of this country and every single step you take will have its repercussions.
When morning comes, Changbin wakes up in a haste and greets you with a subtle nod and walks out of the chamber in long strides.
You well the tears back. It's your first day as Queen and hadn't he always promised to be there when you were overwhelmed? Had he lied? Or was it Changbin's doppelganger who visited you every night in the Detached palace?
Somi comes in a few minutes later with an excited smile on her face.
When she does your hair for the day, she asks, "So, how was the wedding night?"
You want to answer her truthfully - how cold Changbin had been, how he had not even looked at you let alone touch you, how you think he had changed almost overnight. But you see the prying eyes of the other palace maids and swallow your sadness.
"It was perfect. Like everything I'd ever hoped for."
"He was gentle, I hope." She says through a grin, but it feels like someone pouring alcohol on an open wound.
"Yes. He was."
As part of royal customs, the new bride is supposed to visit the senior most female member of the family and greet her. In your case, the member happens to King Changbin's mother.
Somi dresses you in the most exquisite silks and adorns your hair with the most precious flower but you feel nothing at all when everyone compliments you on the way out of your new Queen's palace.
Your mother in law's palace is a little far from the Queen's palace yet it is as beautiful as any other palace. From inside as well as outside.
"Greetings, your majesty. It is nice to meet you." You bow in front of the Queen Dowager.
The woman-not more than sixty years of age- looks at you with a gentle smile.
"Come in, y/n. Please be at ease."
You're seated in front of her on a cushion while the Queen Dowager's maids serve you breakfast.
"I hope your first day here goes well, my child. Our family is thrilled to have you." She says.
"The pleasure is all mine, your majesty. I am honored to be a part of this family." You say.
In the back of your mind, you wonder if Changbin is thrilled to have you or not. Probably not.
The mere thought of yesterday's rejection stings.
"Y/n, truth be told, my son is a quite a troubled man. His father was murdered in front of his eyes. He was made the king when he was only 16 years old. It's been 7 years since then, but the burden only gets worse. I hope you, as a Queen and as his wife, can help him lessen these burdens. Can you do that?" The Queen Dowager asks again, sipping tea from a small cup.
"I will do everything I can to help him." If only he'd let you.
"Good, good. I'm glad. And one more thing, y/n, you know as Queen one of your primary duties is to produce an heir for Changbin's throne. I hope you're working on that, yes?"
Heat reaches your cheeks. If only the poor woman knew what her dear son had done last night. If his behavior continues, perhaps it will be long before the Queen Dowager sees the face of a royal grandchild.
"We are trying, your majesty. We will not disappoint you." You reply, sipping tea from your own cup.
"Great! I shall send all types of herbs and tonics to help you conceive as fast as possible. I shall also draw up a chart after consulting the astrologer..." the Queen Dowager's voice fades into the background as your mind drifts off to the nights in the Detached palace, when Changbin would come and spend all his free time with you, against the rules of the palace. At that time, you had been sure that producing an heir would be a beautiful process, not a chore.
But Changbin does not even treat the thought like a chore.
Did he not love you? Did his Royal duties burden him too much?
When you leave the Queen Dowager's palace, you walk past The King's palace. It is as beautiful and majestic as they say. But you wonder if you'll ever be able to set foot in the same.
As if on cue, you see Concubine Jung walking out of the King's palace, her maids behind her. The butterflies in your stomach burn with jealousy.
She has a smirk on her face when she sees you.
"Eun, did you know there's a rumor around the palace that the King refused to sleep with the Queen last night? Sad, isn't it?" Concubine Jung says.
One of her maids giggle and nod, "Of course! How could the Queen even live with this shame?"
You cry yourself to sleep that night, while Somi does everything in her abilities to soothe you.
Needless to say, nothing worked.
*
"My lady, wake up. The King has invited you to breakfast with him." Somi informs one morning, six months after your wedding.
"Tell him I have a bad stomach bug. I cannot go."
You'd be found dead before sharing a meal with him and that obnoxious Concubine Jung. You'd shared enough meals with them already.
The past months, the King had not visited you even once but often you'd see him walking the gardens with Concubine Jung at his side.
After the first few weeks, you had no tears left to shed anymore so when the rumor came in last month that Concubine Jung might be pregnant, your eyes do not water no matter how much you force yourself to cry.
"I do not wish to congratulate them." You say, true and plain.
"My lady, he's invited only you. Not anyone else."
So you agree. As a last attempt to make your marriage work, even if it's just for your own sake.
Somi dresses you in green robes- The King's favorite. You quickly make your way to his palace, as if someone else would take your place if you didn't hurry. It's sad your thoughts had turned so negative in just half a year in the palace.
Your father had told you the King would take in many lovers during his lifetime, and that being Queen is about having power, not being loved.
But you think he didn't warn you enough. He didn't warn you how lonely it would be to sleep on the cold bed every night, how painful it would be to see the King smile at someone else.
Even if you did wish for a child, how could you produce you a child without Changbin?
"Good morning, your majesty." You say to him when you enter his bed chamber. It smells like cinnamon, a smell he'd often carry with himself back when he used to visit you at the Detached palace. Back when you were sure the king had been in love with you.
"Hello, my Queen. Please have a seat."
The butterflies dance around for a split second.
"Did you sleep well last night?" He asks, taking a seat in front of you.
"Yes." Lies. "Thank you for inviting me over."
When the maids leave the both of you alone, his demeanor changes.
"Actually, y/n, I had something to talk to you about." He says, casually, as if he hadn't been hurting you everyday for the past few months.
"What is it?" You ask.
He sighs, "It's mother. Ever since that rumor of Concubine Jung being pregnant spread. She wants the first grandchild to be of the Queen."
His words do not faze you, "How can I help you, Changbin?"
He frowns. Since when had your tone become this melancholic?
"Um, so if I have your consent, I'd like to try for a child tomorrow night. We'll see how that goes, yeah?"
"Okay. I will be honored." You say.
You finish up the food quickly and almost slide the doors open when he grabs your arm from behind.
"Y/n, what is it? Did something happen? Are your parents well?"
"My parents are well enough, thank you for asking." You say, keeping your eyes on the ground.
"Then? What happened? Is it Concubine Jung? Really, you did not have to be jealous of her. She's not pregnant. I can assure you of that. I have not consummated my marriage with any one of the concubines."
His words seem to have an effect on you. Your heart blossoms with hope but you keep your face and voice neutral.
"I am not jealous, Changbin. If one of the concubines get pregnant, I shall wish you both well."
You force your arm out of his grip and walk out the palace, not looking back once.
Changbin's stares at your leaving figure, now worried beyond relief that he might have broken the one person he cared for the most by his pursuits of a greater good.
*
While the past few months for you had been filled with loneliness, for Changbin it was almost the same-if not worse.
The first night of your marriage was filled with as many butterflies for him, as it was for you.
He had fallen in love with you and he wasn't afraid to show the world how much you meant to him. He wanted to hold you, kiss you, make love to you. And he had all plans to do that on the first night.
But that was until he had overheard a secret conversation between Concubine Jung and her father- Minister Jung.
For all he knew, Minister Jung had always wanted his daughter to be the Queen but being the dim-wit that she was, Concubine Jung could not even get through the first stage.
"Father, it's been two days since I'd been in the palace and that man has not visited me once. He had not even asked for my name the day of the welcoming. What kind of man is he? And you say I am to be Queen!"
"Hush, child. In this palace, even the walls are listening. Be careful. And as far as the position of Queen is concerned, you need not worry. If the King does bed the Queen tonight and she get pregnant, we shall make sure her pregnancy terminates before maturity. I have connections with all sorts of medicine vendors in the country, be assured, she shall never see the face of a child. After we weaken the Queen, we can take her throne as easily!"
Changbin had wanted to laugh at the man's foolish plans but deep down, he was worried as well. For you.
Which is why he pushed you away for so long and kept Concubine Jung close. While she tried everything in her power to seduce him, he refused her under the pretense of keeping an oath of abstinence for a year.
Every time she tried to even hold his hand, Changbin thought of you; your innocent eyes, your talks, your wit, your hands, your beautiful hair. No woman could make him feel like you do.
Changbin's secret informants had confirmed that Minister Jung had not one but two houses full of gold and cash he'd collected as illegal taxes from the local people. He'd also sometimes force husbands to send their wives to him in exchange for money. Even the thought nauseated Changbin.
Every time Concubine Jung visited, he made sure to collect some sort of evidence through her. He even visited her every night and while she snored away, he stole some of her gold jewlery and clothes to get them checked as evidence of the illegal taxes her father had been collecting.
And sure enough, after a few months of spying on her and her father, Changbin had gathered enough evidence by now to expose both of them at the court.
But he realised quickly that Minister Jung had a few tricks up his sleeves as well. The rumor of his daughter's pregnancy would make it difficult for Changbin to expose him easily, and so Changbin waited every night that the rumors would die down so he could run to the Queen's Palace and hug you with all his might. You were not safe unless the father and daughter were deposed.
And for some selfish reasons, Changbin had hoped you'd understand the reason behind his distance. But no woman could find a logical reason behind her lover being absent and it was horribly wrong for him to expect you to do the same.
"Are you stupid?" His friend, the eccentric dancer Minho had asked him.
Changbin had told him how coldly you'd behaved this afternoon when he'd asked you if you wished to try for a child. Most women would giggle and blush. But you were like a statue.
"You push her away for months and make her feel lonely and not loved and what not and you have the audacity to ask her that?"
"Well, yes. Mother had been pressuring me for a child and obviously, even with the pressure, I would never do anything that y/n would not have wanted but I thought it would be a great way to reconnect with her. Even if it didn't end in child making or whatever."
Minho let's out a frustrated groan, "You have to learn so much, Bin. But let's start with this- be honest with her. She's your wife and you ought to tell her everything. Give answers to all her questions and hold her hand if she let's you. Small steps first, a child can wait."
Changbin nods, " Okay, should I go to her right now?"
"Yes, you idiot!" Minho says, earning a slap on the arm from The King of Joseon.
He should be glad he's not being beheaded for calling the King an idiot.
*
You're almost done getting ready for bed when the lady in waiting makes an unexpected announcement .
"My lady, the King is here to see you."
Your heart leaps and the butterflies come alive again only to die down once you realise why he might be there. For a child. Isn't that why he's here? Isn't that why people get married in the first place?
"Y/n." He sighs when he enters the room, almost out of relief. He purses his lips.
"Is there anything I could help you with?" You ask.
Oh, how badly he'd hurt you. He could see the hurt in your eyes, in your voice, in your mannerisms.
"Y/n, I'm sorry. I really am. I know I have caused you pain and I cannot imagine how lonely it must have been. But I hope you know that I really do love you and only you."
"Then why the distance? Why visit Concubine Jung every night?" You ask, hands on your hips.
The tears that had left you threatened to return again.
And he tells you everything. From the conversation he overheard to how insistently Concubine Jung asked him for a child to how much solid proof he'd collected over the months and how he'd sent those evidences to the Minister of Security, who in turn ensured that by tomorrow the Jungs will out of the palace and be imprisoned for life.
It all makes sense to you now, of course it does. Yet you feel guilty. He'd been trying to protect you, all this while.
"I'm sorry, Changbin. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I only-"
"Don't apologize, y/n. It's me that should apologize. I should have somehow tried to contact you and tell you about everything. I'm-"
"No, no, Please. Don't. You only tried to protect me and-"
"No, y/n, it's all my fault, please-"
Somi overhears the entire conversation through the door, her mind finally relaxing after the misunderstanding had been solved between you and the King. She could no longer stand you being this sad. And she somehow knew King Changbin had his own reasons for his behavior.
She hears soft sounds of kissing through the door and takes it as a sign to move away from the door, and join the other maids waiting outside the palace door. She smiles to herself.
The butterflies burn with passion.
"I do not wish for a child this early. I want to be here like this with you for a while, just y/n and Changbin and maybe two or three years later, we could try for a child. What do you think?"
When he kissed you initially, you half expected this to end up in the bed. But it did. And you're glad it did.
The butterflies bloom more than ever.
You're wrapped in his arms, tightly. The nakedness no longer bothering the either of you.
"I agree. I want to be this close to you every night, not as a Queen or the mother of your child. But as y/n. As your wife."
Changbin draws his face closer to you, pecking you on the lips, "And so you shall, my love."
And so you shall.
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sparklingchan · 20 days
Text
Serendipity || Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)
Pairing: Reader(fem.) X Changbin
Word Count: 5.4k+
Warnings: Suggestive, mentions of pregnancy (the reader is not pregnant) , mentions of poison, Changbin is sweeter than sugar. Set in the Joseon Era.
Genre: Royal AU, Arranged marriage AU, fluff with very slight angst.
Description: The King of Joseon had chosen you as his queen. But there are those that wish for this union to fail. Will your love be enough to overcome the competitiveness of the Palace?
A/N: Hello everyone! Back with another installation of the SKZ Royal AU. I am genuinely in love with this one ngl. King Changbin is a rizzler y'all. Hope you guys have fun reading this <3
Do check out the other fics in the skz royal series. (The stories are not interrelated)
Here's the link to the masterlist.
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Being a woman in this country is not an easy task. Especially when one is a candidate for the position of the country's Queen.
You'd dreamt of this for years, the idea sewn into every thought by your father even since you were child. With time, you'd welcomed the thought without a complaint.
"My lady, the Royal messenger is here." Somi informs you, and your nervousness just goes up by a thousand.
Did you manage to become the Queen and make your father proud? Or did you get disqualified and were now just a daughter of some minister and free to marry any other commoner like yourself?
You run down the hallway and enter the pavillion in front of your house, the colorful banners of the Royal entourage shine under the bright sun.
You straighten your robes and kneel down, head almost touching the ground, as a mark of respect for the King's verdict.
The chief Eunuch opens up the scroll in his hands.
"Please find enclosed the Royal Edict from the King's Court:
I, Seo Changbin, the King of Joseon, have chosen Miss y/n of House Kim as my wife and, by extension, the Queen of our beloved country. I have consulted the three High State Councilors and my mother- the Queen Dowager about the same and we have all unanimously agreed that she would be the best choice for the country as well as the Royal family, owing it all to her wits, beauty and manners.
Congratulations to Miss y/n and her family.
The Royal family would also like to extend an invitation to the bride-to-be to shift into the Detached Palace at the earliest as part of the customary pre wedding ritual. "
It feels as if someone had punched out the air from your lungs, you couldn't speak nor stand, while your parents and brother continuously thanked the Royal Eunuch, accepting all the gifts sent by the Palace for you.
But you couldn't move. You just stayed there, frozen. For life as you had known it has come to an end.
And thereafter begins a new, Royal chapter of your life.
*
"I'm going to miss you, my child."
The days since the Edict pass by in a heartbeat. All the members of your family were busy with packing your belongings while you were busy with mentally preparing yourself to leave your family and house behind forever.
Yes, you'd always wanted to be a Queen. Yes, you'd spent years getting ready for this role. Yet when the time finally comes, it hurts you to think about leaving behind twenty three years of your life.
"I'm going to miss you too, mother." On hearing your words, your mother cries harder.
But as usual, your father shows no emotion. His face is calm.
"Remember, y/n, there are no friends in the Palace other than your husband. You cannot confide in anyone but him. The other concubines will do anything to gain his favor, but you shall always be a step ahead. Be vigilant and loyal. You will make a great Queen." He says. Like the strategist he'd always been.
"Yes, father." You reply, swallowing the lump in your throat.
Your mother clinges to your arm.
"We will try and visit you whenever we can. I'm sure his Majesty will allow."
"Yes, of course. You can visit me anytime. The Palace is only a few hours from here."
"Oh, my child! How will I ever live without you!" Another sob tears out from your mother's throat. You hug her with all the love and care you could muster up in that moment.
Your father walks out of the room, hands behind his back and face twisted into a frown.
*
The Detached Palace is to be a temporary residence for the bride-to-be. For over the next thirty days, you would be receiving lessons on various subjects like history, Royal Etiquette, sewing, cooking and most importantly- lessons on intimacy. The last lesson is considered most important, according to Somi, since it allows you to birth as many healthy heirs as possible.
After helping you dress up for the night and setting up your bed, your maids take your leave for the night, only Somi remaining by your side.
"Do you think I'll see the King tomorrow? It's queer but I'd like to know what my future husband looks like, at least."
Somi sighs, "I don't think it's allowed, my lady. I believe you can only see his Majesty on your wedding day. A month from now."
You're oddly disappointed. You had dreamt so many nights of seeing the King, holding his hand, being by his side, yet the King in those dreams often never had a face.
Was it wrong to yearn to look at your future husband's face? Just once?
A subtle knock on your door startles the both of you.
"Yes?"
"My lady, the King is here to see you." Your handmaid almost whispers the words through the door.
With unparalleled urgency, Somi helps you straighten your clothes and rushes off towards the door.
"Your majesty." The maids and Somi greet him with the customary bow, while you purse your lips in a line, head hanging in a subtle bow.
Your heart hammers against your chest. It's so loud, you're sure even the King could hear it.
"Please give us some privacy." The King commands.
And you heart beats faster on hearing his voice for the first time. Gentle, yet authoritative, just like you'd dreamt.
When Somi closes the door behind her, you almost regret wishing to see your future husband. The proximity makes you nervous and you could only hope you'd not faint in front of him.
"My lady, you may rise."
You'd almost forgotten you were still bowing to him. You mentally slap yourself.
"Y-yes, your majesty. " your voice comes out as an embarrassing squeak, your eyes still on the ground.
You'd prayed for this moment for years, y/n. Why couldn't you just meet his eyes?
As if sensing your inner conflict, the King takes two long strides towards you and hooks his index finger under your chin, sending a chill down your body.
"My lady, please look at me."
And you do.
And he's like everything you'd ever wished for.
Perfect, like a beautifully crafted sculpture.
His soft brown locks, his rosy lips, the subtle mischief in his eyes. Everything is perfect.
"Y-yes, your majesty. Sorry." You mumble.
The king smiles, rubbing circles into your cheeks.
"You may call me Changbin when we're alone."
You nod.
"I just came to ask if you're finding your new residence comfortable. We both shall be busy with lessons tomorrow onwards so I figured tonight would be a good time to visit my bride."
His bride? His bride?
Your legs feel weak.
"I'm finding it extremely comfortable, your majesty. Thank you for your hospitality. "
Changbin let's out a low chuckle, leaning towards you. His lips hover inches above yours. And when he speaks, you feel hot air on your lips, "I told you, y/n. Call me Changbin."
You frantically nod.
"Good. Better be careful next time, my bride."
*
When you wake up the next morning, you're sure you'd dreamt everything that happened last night.
But apparently not.
"The King is a dashing young man." Somi teases as she lathers a concoction of herbs into your hair. "You're lucky, my lady. He seems to be a gentleman."
But you are too caught up in your thoughts to reply to her.
Did the king of Joseon really come all the way to the Detached Palace to see you? What if he's disappointed with how you had reacted? But he shouldn't blame you at all.
You had not been expecting anyone yesterday night, especially not him. But he did come to you. And he touched your chin. If you focus hard enough, you could feel his touch lingering in the area.
"My lady?" Somi clicks her fingers in front of your eyes, "Come back to earth. We have to get you ready for the classes today."
Blushing, you reply, "What classes do I have today?"
You had three classes today: Palace etiquette, literature and what Somi insists most important: lessons on reproduction.
While Palace etiquette mostly includes lesson on how to behave with Royal elders, ministers, maids, the King, literature includes important pieces of literature that are important for a woman.
And lastly, the most dreaded time arrived.
The reproduction lessons.
The tutor shows you all sorts of obnoxious hand movements and some drawings of couples in intimate positions. You feel uncomfortable from the beginning till the end.
A woman at least five decades older than you is teaching you about intimacy? Very awkward, to say the least.
But you heave a sigh of relief when the classes end for the day and you make your way to your room in the Detached palace.
"It's just the first day, Somi and I'm already tired to the bone." You say, kicking your shoes off.
"Well, it's going to be a lifetime of time this now, my lady. And you best be prepared for it."
You reply Somi with silence. But her words make you wonder. If this palace life would ever be less tiring someday? Would it even be worth it?
Perhaps not.
But King Changbin 's face flashes in front of your eyes; his sparkling eyes, mischievous grin, his feather like touch- maybe he is what will make everything worth it.
That night, after your maids get your bed ready while Somi is combing your hair, a familiar announcement echoes through the corridors of the Detached Palace.
"My lady, the King is here to see you."
His smiling face peeps through the doors as your maids hurry out of the room. He wears blue silk robes, and you feel weaker in his presence than you did yesterday.
"Did you miss me, y/n?"
And thus begins a month of secret nightly visits by the King of Joseon to the Detached Palace.
Everyday, you wake up looking forward to the time when King Changbin would come knocking at your doors, always up to some jesting.
Sometimes, he brings you fruits you'd mentioned you liked or he tells you stories from his childhood. At other times, he tells you about that one teacher he will hate till the end of time.
But most times, he spends his time listening to you talk- about everything and everyone, about the skies and gods, about ghosts and afterlife, about favourite foods and literature. After you'd overcome the initial shyness, opening upto Changbin was as easy as breathing, almost natural. Of course, you were still nervous around him, but it's a feeling you'd come to like.
Is this what the writers and poets describe as 'butterflies'?
"Do you think I'll make a good Queen?" You ask him one night. He sits in front you on a cushion, across the room, a position you told him is appropriate for two unwed people (although he did not agree to it initially).
If your nightly shenanigans were to be ever discovered by anyone, you would not want to be found in close proximity to each other even though you were betrothed to each other. He's breaking Palace rules everyday as it is.
He hums, "Of course! I think you'll make a great Queen. You're so good at your lessons already."
"That does not guarantee anything. I might not be good at taking the responsibilities."
"Do you trust my judgment, y/n? I think you'll make a great Queen. And even if you are overwhelmed, I shall always be here."
That night he leaves earlier than he usually does, owing to the fact that tomorrow is the day where his concubines are to be welcomed into the palace. Five of them.
The thought leaves you feeling bitter and dejected, but you make sure not make those feelings obvious. This is a rule for Kings, to take as many concubines as possible to ensure the continuation of the blood line.
"Don't worry, my lady. Your rank in the palace is above these petty concubines. They will not mess with you." Somi comforts your thoughts the next day.
"But what if Changbin favors them more?"
Somi does not reply to that question.
*
On your 18th birthday, your father had promised to you that he would make you the Queen of this country. He kept his promise because here you are, after five years, getting dressed to be married to the most powerful man in the country.
Your father always insisted that powerful men do not love but Changbin's sparkling eyes always contradicted everything your father had taught. Nevertheless, you know the competitiveness among the concubines for the King's affection is mad. More often than not, even the Queen gets involved in petty fights.
But you try to remove all thoughts of your father and the concubines today. Because today, you are to be married to King Changbin. From today, your name will be written in the historical logs of the Royal family. From today, a new life begins.
"Are you okay, my lady?" Somi asks, "You look worried."
"I'm fine. Just hope the ceremony goes well."
The ceremony does go well and in all honesty, you were not worried about the ceremony itself. You were worried about the aftermath.
The maids guide you to your new palace, and get you dressed in white robes for the wedding night. The night when you will finally meet Changbin as his wife. The butterflies swim around in your belly.
The bed is decorated with flower petals and a few candles are lit. Everything is perfect.
"The King is here." One of your ladies in waiting announce and you get up to greet your husband.
The maids leave the room as the doors slide open and Changbin steps in, also dressed in white robes. He looks dashing, but his signature grin is nowhere to be found.
When the doors close behind him, he walks past you to the bed, the scent of liquor evident in his breath.
"Have you been drinking, your majesty?" You ask him, worried by his odd behavior.
What was wrong with him? Why wouldn't he even bother to meet your eyes?
"Changbin." He slurs, wrapping the blankets around him, "Call me Changbin."
He turns away from you and is snoring away in no time.
The butterflies in your stomach flutter around before dropping dead.
*
You did not sleep that night. Even though you were sleeping next to the man you love, you felt lonelier than ever.
Many times during the night, you consider walking out of the bed chamber to the servants quarter so you could talk to Somi. But you couldn't do that. Because you were now the Queen of this country and every single step you take will have its repercussions.
When morning comes, Changbin wakes up in a haste and greets you with a subtle nod and walks out of the chamber in long strides.
You well the tears back. It's your first day as Queen and hadn't he always promised to be there when you were overwhelmed? Had he lied? Or was it Changbin's doppelganger who visited you every night in the Detached palace?
Somi comes in a few minutes later with an excited smile on her face.
When she does your hair for the day, she asks, "So, how was the wedding night?"
You want to answer her truthfully - how cold Changbin had been, how he had not even looked at you let alone touch you, how you think he had changed almost overnight. But you see the prying eyes of the other palace maids and swallow your sadness.
"It was perfect. Like everything I'd ever hoped for."
"He was gentle, I hope." She says through a grin, but it feels like someone pouring alcohol on an open wound.
"Yes. He was."
As part of royal customs, the new bride is supposed to visit the senior most female member of the family and greet her. In your case, the member happens to King Changbin's mother.
Somi dresses you in the most exquisite silks and adorns your hair with the most precious flower but you feel nothing at all when everyone compliments you on the way out of your new Queen's palace.
Your mother in law's palace is a little far from the Queen's palace yet it is as beautiful as any other palace. From inside as well as outside.
"Greetings, your majesty. It is nice to meet you." You bow in front of the Queen Dowager.
The woman-not more than sixty years of age- looks at you with a gentle smile.
"Come in, y/n. Please be at ease."
You're seated in front of her on a cushion while the Queen Dowager's maids serve you breakfast.
"I hope your first day here goes well, my child. Our family is thrilled to have you." She says.
"The pleasure is all mine, your majesty. I am honored to be a part of this family." You say.
In the back of your mind, you wonder if Changbin is thrilled to have you or not. Probably not.
The mere thought of yesterday's rejection stings.
"Y/n, truth be told, my son is a quite a troubled man. His father was murdered in front of his eyes. He was made the king when he was only 16 years old. It's been 7 years since then, but the burden only gets worse. I hope you, as a Queen and as his wife, can help him lessen these burdens. Can you do that?" The Queen Dowager asks again, sipping tea from a small cup.
"I will do everything I can to help him." If only he'd let you.
"Good, good. I'm glad. And one more thing, y/n, you know as Queen one of your primary duties are to produce an heir for Changbin's throne. I hope you're working on that, yes?"
Heat reaches your cheeks. If only the poor woman knew what her dear son had done last night. If his behavior continues, perhaps it will be long before the Queen Dowager sees the face of a royal grandchild.
"We are trying, your majesty. We will not disappoint you." You reply, sipping tea from your own cup.
"Great! I shall send all types of herbs and tonics to help you conceive as fast as possible. I shall also draw up a chart after consulting the astrologer..." the Queen Dowager's voice fades into the background as your mind drifts off to the nights in the Detached palace, when Changbin would come and spend all his free time with you against the rules of the palace. At that time, you had been sure that producing an heir would be a beautiful process, not a chore.
But Changbin does not even treat the thought like a chore.
Did he not love you? Did his Royal duties burden him too much?
When you leave the Queen Dowager's palace, you walk past The King's palace. It is as beautiful and majestic as they say. But you wonder if you'll ever be able to set foot in the same.
As if on cue, you see Concubine Jung walking out of the King's palace, her maids behind her. The butterflies in your stomach burn with jealousy.
She has a smirk on her face when she sees you.
"Eun, did you know there's a rumor around the palace that the King refused to sleep with the Queen last night? Sad, isn't it?" Concubine Jung says.
One of her maids giggle and nod, "Of course! How could the Queen even live with this shame?"
You cry yourself to sleep that night, while Somi does everything in her abilities to soothes.
Needless to say, nothing worked.
*
"My lady, wake up. The King has invited you to breakfast with him." Somi informs one morning, six months after your wedding.
"Tell him I have a bad stomach bug. I cannot go."
You'd be found dead before sharing a meal with him and that obnoxious Concubine Jung. You'd shared enough meals with them already.
The past months, the King had not visited you even once but often you'd see him walking the gardens with Concubine Jung at his side.
After the first few weeks, you had no tears left to shed anymore so when the rumor came in last month that Concubine Jung might be pregnant, your eyes do not water no matter how much you force yourself to cry.
"I do not wish to congratulate them." You say, true and plain.
"My lady, he's invited only you. Not anyone else."
So you agree. As a last attempt to make your marriage work, even if it's just for your own sake.
Somi dresses you in green robes- The King's favorite. You quickly make your way to his palace, as if someone else would take your place if you didn't hurry. It's sad your thoughts had turned so negative in just half a year in the palace.
Your father had told you the King would take in many lovers during his lifetime, and that being Queen is about having power, not being loved.
But you think he didn't warn you enough. He didn't warn you how lonely it would be to sleep on the cold bed every night, how painful it would be to see the King smile at someone else.
Even if you did wish for a child, how could you produce you a child without Changbin?
"Good morning, your majesty." You say to him when you enter his bed chamber. It smells like cinnamon, a smell he'd often carry with himself back when he used to visit you at the Detached palace. Back when you were sure the king had been in love with you.
"Hello, my Queen. Please have a seat."
The butterflies dance around for a split second.
"Did you sleep well last night?" He asks, taking a seat in front of you.
"Yes." Lies. "Thank you for inviting me over."
When the maids leave the both of you alone, his demeanor changes.
"Actually, y/n, I had something to talk to you about." He says, casually, as if he hadn't been hurting you everyday for the past few months.
"What is it?" You ask.
He sighs, "It's mother. Ever since that rumor of Concubine Jung being pregnant spread. She wants the first grandchild to be of the Queen."
His words do not faze you, "How can I help you, Changbin?"
He frowns. Since when had your tone become this melancholic?
"Um, so if I have your consent, I'd like to try for a child tomorrow night. We'll see how that goes, yeah?"
"Okay. I will be honored." You say.
You finish up the food quickly and almost slide the doors open when he grabs your arm from behind.
"Y/n, what is it? Did something happen? Are your parents well?"
"My parents are well enough, thank you for asking." You say, keeping your eyes on the ground.
"Then? What happened? Is it Concubine Jung? Really, you did not have to be jealous of her. She's not pregnant. I can assure you of that. I have not consummated my marriage with any one of the concubines."
His words seem to have an effect on you. Your heart blossoms with hope but you keep your face and voice neutral.
"I am not jealous, Changbin. If one of the concubines get pregnant, I shall wish you both well."
You force your arm out of his grip and walk out the palace, not looking back once.
Changbin's stares at your leaving figure, now worried beyond relief that he might have broken the one person he cared for the most by his pursuits of a greater good.
*
While the past few months for you had been filled with loneliness, for Changbin it was almost the same-if not worse.
The first night of your marriage was filled with as many butterflies for him, as it was for you.
He had fallen in love with you and he wasn't afraid to show the world how much you meant to him. He wanted to hold you, kiss you, make love to you. And he had all plans to do that on the first night.
But that was until he had overheard a secret conversation between Concubine Jung and her father- Minister Jung.
For all he knew, Minister Jung had always wanted his daughter to be the Queen but being the dim-wit that she was, Concubine Jung could not even get through the first stage.
"Father, it's been two days since I'd been in the palace and that man has not visited me once. He had not even asked for my name the day of the welcoming. What kind of man is he? And you say I am to be Queen!"
"Hush, child. In this palace, even the walls are listening. Be careful. And as far as the position of Queen is concerned, you need not worry. If the King does bed the Queen tonight and she get pregnant, we shall make sure her pregnancy terminates before maturity. I have connections with all sorts of medicine vendors in the country, be assured, she shall never see the face of a child. After we weaken the Queen, we can take her throne as easily!"
Changbin had wanted to laugh at the man's foolish plans but deep down, he was worried as well. For you.
Which is why he pushed you away for so long and kept Concubine Jung close. While she tried everything in her power to seduce him, he refused her under the pretense of keeping an oath of abstinence for a year.
Every time she tried to even hold his hand, Changbin thought of you; your innocent eyes, your talks, your wit, your hands, your beautiful hair. No woman could make him feel like you do.
Changbin's secret informants had confirmed that Minister Jung had not one but two houses full of gold and cash he'd collected as illegal taxes from the local people. He'd also sometimes force husbands to send their wives to him in exchange for money. Even the thought nauseated Changbin.
Every time Concubine Jung visited, he made sure to collect some sort of evidence through her. He even visited her every night and while she snored away, he stole some of her gold jewlery and clothes to get them checked as evidence of the illegal taxes her father had been collecting.
And sure enough, after a few months of spying on her and her father, Changbin had gathered enough evidence by now to expose both of them at the court.
But he realised quickly that Minister Jung had a few tricks up his sleeves as well. The rumor of his daughter's pregnancy would make it difficult for Changbin to expose him easily, and so Changbin waited every night that the rumors would die down so he could run to the Queen's Palace and hug you with all his might. You were not safe unless the father and daughter were deposed.
And for some selfish reasons, Changbin had hoped you'd understand the reason behind his distance. But no woman could find a logical reason behind her lover being absent and it was horribly wrong for him to expect you to do the same.
"Are you stupid?" His friend, the eccentric dancer Minho had asked him.
Changbin had told him how coldly you'd behaved this afternoon when he'd asked you if you wished to try for a child. Most women would giggle and blush. But you were like a statue.
"You push her away for months and make her feel lonely and not loved and what not and you have the audacity to ask her that?"
"Well, yes. Mother had been pressuring me for a child and obviously, even with the pressure, I would never do anything that y/n would not have wanted but I thought it would be a great way to reconnect with her. Even if it didn't end in child making or whatever."
Minho let's out a frustrated groan, "You have to learn so much, Bin. But let's start with this- be honest with her. She's your wife and you ought to tell her everything. Give answers to all her questions and hold her hand if she let's you. Small steps first, a child can wait."
Changbin nods, " Okay, should I go to her right now?"
"Yes, you idiot!" Minho says, earning a slap on the arm from The King of Joseon.
He should be glad he's not being beheaded for calling the King an idiot.
*
You're almost done getting ready for bed when the lady in waiting makes an unexpected announcement .
"My lady, the King is here to see you."
Your heart leaps and the butterflies come alive again only to die down once you realise why he might be there. For a child. Isn't that why he's here? Isn't that why people get married in the first place?
"Y/n." He sighs when he enters the room, almost out of relief. He purses his lips.
"Is there anything I could help you with?" You ask.
Oh, how badly he'd hurt you. He could see the hurt in your eyes, in your voice, in your mannerisms.
"Y/n, I'm sorry. I really am. I know I have caused you pain and I cannot imagine how lonely it must have been. But I hope you know that I really do love you and only you."
"Then why the distance? Why visit Concubine Jung every night?" You ask, hands on your hips.
The tears that had left you threatened to return again.
And he tells you everything. From the conversation he overheard to how insistently Concubine Jung asked him for a child to how much solid proof he'd collected over the months and how he'd sent those evidences to the Minister of Security, who in turn ensured that by tomorrow the Jungs will out of the palace and be imprisoned for life.
It all makes sense to you now, of course it does. Yet you feel guilty. He'd been trying to protect you, all this while.
"I'm sorry, Changbin. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I only-"
"Don't apologize, y/n. It's me that should apologize. I should have somehow tried to contact you and tell you about everything. I'm-"
"No, no, Please. Don't. You only tried to protect me and-"
"No, y/n, it's all my fault, please-"
Somi overhears the entire conversation through the door, her mind finally relaxing after the misunderstanding had been solved between you and the King. She could no longer stand you being this sad. And she somehow knew King Changbin had his own reasons for his behavior.
She hears soft sounds of kissing through the door and takes it as a sign to move away from the door, and join the other maids waiting outside the palace door. She smiles to herself.
The butterflies burn with passion.
"I do not wish for a child this early. I want to be here like this with you for a while, just y/n and Changbin and maybe two or three years later, we could try for a child. What do you think?"
When he kissed you initially, you half expected this to end up in the bed. But it did. And you're glad it did.
The butterflies bloom more than ever.
You're wrapped in his arms, tightly. The nakedness no longer bothering the either of you.
"I agree. I want to be this close to you every night, not as a Queen or the mother of your child. But as y/n. As your wife."
Changbin draws his face closer to you, pecking you on the lips, "And so you shall, my love."
And so you shall.
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sparklingchan · 20 days
Text
Serendipity || Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)
Pairing: Reader(fem.) X Changbin
Word Count: 5.4k+
Warnings: Suggestive, mentions of pregnancy (the reader is not pregnant) , mentions of poison, Changbin is sweeter than sugar. Set in the Joseon Era.
Genre: Royal AU, Arranged marriage AU, fluff with very slight angst.
Description: The King of Joseon had chosen you as his queen. But there are those that wish for this union to fail. Will your love be enough to overcome the competitiveness of the Palace?
A/N: Hello everyone! Back with another installation of the SKZ Royal AU. I am genuinely in love with this one ngl. King Changbin is a rizzler y'all. Hope you guys have fun reading this <3
Do check out the other fics in the skz royal series. (The stories are not interrelated)
Here's the link to the masterlist.
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Being a woman in this country is not an easy task. Especially when one is a candidate for the position of the country's Queen.
You'd dreamt of this for years, the idea sewn into every thought by your father even since you were child. With time, you'd welcomed the thought without a complaint.
"My lady, the Royal messenger is here." Somi informs you, and your nervousness just goes up by a thousand.
Did you manage to become the Queen and make your father proud? Or did you get disqualified and were now just a daughter of some minister and free to marry any other commoner like yourself?
You run down the hallway and enter the pavillion in front of your house, the colorful banners of the Royal entourage shine under the bright sun.
You straighten your robes and kneel down, head almost touching the ground, as a mark of respect for the King's verdict.
The chief Eunuch opens up the scroll in his hands.
"Please find enclosed the Royal Edict from the King's Court:
I, Seo Changbin, the King of Joseon, have chosen Miss y/n of House Kim as my wife and, by extension, the Queen of our beloved country. I have consulted the three High State Councilors and my mother- the Queen Dowager about the same and we have all unanimously agreed that she would be the best choice for the country as well as the Royal family, owing it all to her wits, beauty and manners.
Congratulations to Miss y/n and her family.
The Royal family would also like to extend an invitation to the bride-to-be to shift into the Detached Palace at the earliest as part of the customary pre wedding ritual. "
It feels as if someone had punched out the air from your lungs, you couldn't speak nor stand, while your parents and brother continuously thanked the Royal Eunuch, accepting all the gifts sent by the Palace for you.
But you couldn't move. You just stayed there, frozen. For life as you had known it has come to an end.
And thereafter begins a new, Royal chapter of your life.
*
"I'm going to miss you, my child."
The days since the Edict pass by in a heartbeat. All the members of your family were busy with packing your belongings while you were busy with mentally preparing yourself to leave your family and house behind forever.
Yes, you'd always wanted to be a Queen. Yes, you'd spent years getting ready for this role. Yet when the time finally comes, it hurts you to think about leaving behind twenty three years of your life.
"I'm going to miss you too, mother." On hearing your words, your mother cries harder.
But as usual, your father shows no emotion. His face is calm.
"Remember, y/n, there are no friends in the Palace other than your husband. You cannot confide in anyone but him. The other concubines will do anything to gain his favor, but you shall always be a step ahead. Be vigilant and loyal. You will make a great Queen." He says. Like the strategist he'd always been.
"Yes, father." You reply, swallowing the lump in your throat.
Your mother clinges to your arm.
"We will try and visit you whenever we can. I'm sure his Majesty will allow."
"Yes, of course. You can visit me anytime. The Palace is only a few hours from here."
"Oh, my child! How will I ever live without you!" Another sob tears out from your mother's throat. You hug her with all the love and care you could muster up in that moment.
Your father walks out of the room, hands behind his back and face twisted into a frown.
*
The Detached Palace is to be a temporary residence for the bride-to-be. For over the next thirty days, you would be receiving lessons on various subjects like history, Royal Etiquette, sewing, cooking and most importantly- lessons on intimacy. The last lesson is considered most important, according to Somi, since it allows you to birth as many healthy heirs as possible.
After helping you dress up for the night and setting up your bed, your maids take your leave for the night, only Somi remaining by your side.
"Do you think I'll see the King tomorrow? It's queer but I'd like to know what my future husband looks like, at least."
Somi sighs, "I don't think it's allowed, my lady. I believe you can only see his Majesty on your wedding day. A month from now."
You're oddly disappointed. You had dreamt so many nights of seeing the King, holding his hand, being by his side, yet the King in those dreams often never had a face.
Was it wrong to yearn to look at your future husband's face? Just once?
A subtle knock on your door startles the both of you.
"Yes?"
"My lady, the King is here to see you." Your handmaid almost whispers the words through the door.
With unparalleled urgency, Somi helps you straighten your clothes and rushes off towards the door.
"Your majesty." The maids and Somi greet him with the customary bow, while you purse your lips in a line, head hanging in a subtle bow.
Your heart hammers against your chest. It's so loud, you're sure even the King could hear it.
"Please give us some privacy." The King commands.
And you heart beats faster on hearing his voice for the first time. Gentle, yet authoritative, just like you'd dreamt.
When Somi closes the door behind her, you almost regret wishing to see your future husband. The proximity makes you nervous and you could only hope you'd not faint in front of him.
"My lady, you may rise."
You'd almost forgotten you were still bowing to him. You mentally slap yourself.
"Y-yes, your majesty. " your voice comes out as an embarrassing squeak, your eyes still on the ground.
You'd prayed for this moment for years, y/n. Why couldn't you just meet his eyes?
As if sensing your inner conflict, the King takes two long strides towards you and hooks his index finger under your chin, sending a chill down your body.
"My lady, please look at me."
And you do.
And he's like everything you'd ever wished for.
Perfect, like a beautifully crafted sculpture.
His soft brown locks, his rosy lips, the subtle mischief in his eyes. Everything is perfect.
"Y-yes, your majesty. Sorry." You mumble.
The king smiles, rubbing circles into your cheeks.
"You may call me Changbin when we're alone."
You nod.
"I just came to ask if you're finding your new residence comfortable. We both shall be busy with lessons tomorrow onwards so I figured tonight would be a good time to visit my bride."
His bride? His bride?
Your legs feel weak.
"I'm finding it extremely comfortable, your majesty. Thank you for your hospitality. "
Changbin let's out a low chuckle, leaning towards you. His lips hover inches above yours. And when he speaks, you feel hot air on your lips, "I told you, y/n. Call me Changbin."
You frantically nod.
"Good. Better be careful next time, my bride."
*
When you wake up the next morning, you're sure you'd dreamt everything that happened last night.
But apparently not.
"The King is a dashing young man." Somi teases as she lathers a concoction of herbs into your hair. "You're lucky, my lady. He seems to be a gentleman."
But you are too caught up in your thoughts to reply to her.
Did the king of Joseon really come all the way to the Detached Palace to see you? What if he's disappointed with how you had reacted? But he shouldn't blame you at all.
You had not been expecting anyone yesterday night, especially not him. But he did come to you. And he touched your chin. If you focus hard enough, you could feel his touch lingering in the area.
"My lady?" Somi clicks her fingers in front of your eyes, "Come back to earth. We have to get you ready for the classes today."
Blushing, you reply, "What classes do I have today?"
You had three classes today: Palace etiquette, literature and what Somi insists most important: lessons on reproduction.
While Palace etiquette mostly includes lesson on how to behave with Royal elders, ministers, maids, the King, literature includes important pieces of literature that are important for a woman.
And lastly, the most dreaded time arrived.
The reproduction lessons.
The tutor shows you all sorts of obnoxious hand movements and some drawings of couples in intimate positions. You feel uncomfortable from the beginning till the end.
A woman at least five decades older than you is teaching you about intimacy? Very awkward, to say the least.
But you heave a sigh of relief when the classes end for the day and you make your way to your room in the Detached palace.
"It's just the first day, Somi and I'm already tired to the bone." You say, kicking your shoes off.
"Well, it's going to be a lifetime of time this now, my lady. And you best be prepared for it."
You reply Somi with silence. But her words make you wonder. If this palace life would ever be less tiring someday? Would it even be worth it?
Perhaps not.
But King Changbin 's face flashes in front of your eyes; his sparkling eyes, mischievous grin, his feather like touch- maybe he is what will make everything worth it.
That night, after your maids get your bed ready while Somi is combing your hair, a familiar announcement echoes through the corridors of the Detached Palace.
"My lady, the King is here to see you."
His smiling face peeps through the doors as your maids hurry out of the room. He wears blue silk robes, and you feel weaker in his presence than you did yesterday.
"Did you miss me, y/n?"
And thus begins a month of secret nightly visits by the King of Joseon to the Detached Palace.
Everyday, you wake up looking forward to the time when King Changbin would come knocking at your doors, always up to some jesting.
Sometimes, he brings you fruits you'd mentioned you liked or he tells you stories from his childhood. At other times, he tells you about that one teacher he will hate till the end of time.
But most times, he spends his time listening to you talk- about everything and everyone, about the skies and gods, about ghosts and afterlife, about favourite foods and literature. After you'd overcome the initial shyness, opening upto Changbin was as easy as breathing, almost natural. Of course, you were still nervous around him, but it's a feeling you'd come to like.
Is this what the writers and poets describe as 'butterflies'?
"Do you think I'll make a good Queen?" You ask him one night. He sits in front you on a cushion, across the room, a position you told him is appropriate for two unwed people (although he did not agree to it initially).
If your nightly shenanigans were to be ever discovered by anyone, you would not want to be found in close proximity to each other even though you were betrothed to each other. He's breaking Palace rules everyday as it is.
He hums, "Of course! I think you'll make a great Queen. You're so good at your lessons already."
"That does not guarantee anything. I might not be good at taking the responsibilities."
"Do you trust my judgment, y/n? I think you'll make a great Queen. And even if you are overwhelmed, I shall always be here."
That night he leaves earlier than he usually does, owing to the fact that tomorrow is the day where his concubines are to be welcomed into the palace. Five of them.
The thought leaves you feeling bitter and dejected, but you make sure to not make those feelings obvious. This is a rule for Kings, to take as many concubines as possible to ensure the continuation of the blood line.
"Don't worry, my lady. Your rank in the palace is above these petty concubines. They will not mess with you." Somi comforts your thoughts the next day.
"But what if Changbin favors them more?"
Somi does not reply to that question.
*
On your 18th birthday, your father had promised to you that he would make you the Queen of this country. He kept his promise because here you are, after five years, getting dressed to be married to the most powerful man in the country.
Your father always insisted that powerful men do not love but Changbin's sparkling eyes always contradicted everything your father had taught. Nevertheless, you know the competitiveness among the concubines for the King's affection is mad. More often than not, even the Queen gets involved in petty fights.
But you try to remove all thoughts of your father and the concubines today. Because today, you are to be married to King Changbin. From today, your name will be written in the historical logs of the Royal family. From today, a new life begins.
"Are you okay, my lady?" Somi asks, "You look worried."
"I'm fine. Just hope the ceremony goes well."
The ceremony does go well and in all honesty, you were not worried about the ceremony itself. You were worried about the aftermath.
The maids guide you to your new palace, and get you dressed in white robes for the wedding night. The night when you will finally meet Changbin as his wife. The butterflies swim around in your belly.
The bed is decorated with flower petals and a few candles are lit. Everything is perfect.
"The King is here." One of your ladies in waiting announce and you get up to greet your husband.
The maids leave the room as the doors slide open and Changbin steps in, also dressed in white robes. He looks dashing, but his signature grin is nowhere to be found.
When the doors close behind him, he walks past you to the bed, the scent of liquor evident in his breath.
"Have you been drinking, your majesty?" You ask him, worried by his odd behavior.
What was wrong with him? Why wouldn't he even bother to meet your eyes?
"Changbin." He slurs, wrapping the blankets around him, "Call me Changbin."
He turns away from you and is snoring away in no time.
The butterflies in your stomach flutter around before dropping dead.
*
You did not sleep that night. Even though you were sleeping next to the man you love, you felt lonelier than ever.
Many times during the night, you consider walking out of the bed chamber to the servants quarter so you could talk to Somi. But you couldn't do that. Because you were now the Queen of this country and every single step you take will have its repercussions.
When morning comes, Changbin wakes up in a haste and greets you with a subtle nod and walks out of the chamber in long strides.
You well the tears back. It's your first day as Queen and hadn't he always promised to be there when you were overwhelmed? Had he lied? Or was it Changbin's doppelganger who visited you every night in the Detached palace?
Somi comes in a few minutes later with an excited smile on her face.
When she does your hair for the day, she asks, "So, how was the wedding night?"
You want to answer her truthfully - how cold Changbin had been, how he had not even looked at you let alone touch you, how you think he had changed almost overnight. But you see the prying eyes of the other palace maids and swallow your sadness.
"It was perfect. Like everything I'd ever hoped for."
"He was gentle, I hope." She says through a grin, but it feels like someone pouring alcohol on an open wound.
"Yes. He was."
As part of royal customs, the new bride is supposed to visit the senior most female member of the family and greet her. In your case, the member happens to King Changbin's mother.
Somi dresses you in the most exquisite silks and adorns your hair with the most precious flower but you feel nothing at all when everyone compliments you on the way out of your new Queen's palace.
Your mother in law's palace is a little far from the Queen's palace yet it is as beautiful as any other palace. From inside as well as outside.
"Greetings, your majesty. It is nice to meet you." You bow in front of the Queen Dowager.
The woman-not more than sixty years of age- looks at you with a gentle smile.
"Come in, y/n. Please be at ease."
You're seated in front of her on a cushion while the Queen Dowager's maids serve you breakfast.
"I hope your first day here goes well, my child. Our family is thrilled to have you." She says.
"The pleasure is all mine, your majesty. I am honored to be a part of this family." You say.
In the back of your mind, you wonder if Changbin is thrilled to have you or not. Probably not.
The mere thought of yesterday's rejection stings.
"Y/n, truth be told, my son is a quite a troubled man. His father was murdered in front of his eyes. He was made the king when he was only 16 years old. It's been 7 years since then, but the burden only gets worse. I hope you, as a Queen and as his wife, can help him lessen these burdens. Can you do that?" The Queen Dowager asks again, sipping tea from a small cup.
"I will do everything I can to help him." If only he'd let you.
"Good, good. I'm glad. And one more thing, y/n, you know as Queen one of your primary duties is to produce an heir for Changbin's throne. I hope you're working on that, yes?"
Heat reaches your cheeks. If only the poor woman knew what her dear son had done last night. If his behavior continues, perhaps it will be long before the Queen Dowager sees the face of a royal grandchild.
"We are trying, your majesty. We will not disappoint you." You reply, sipping tea from your own cup.
"Great! I shall send all types of herbs and tonics to help you conceive as fast as possible. I shall also draw up a chart after consulting the astrologer..." the Queen Dowager's voice fades into the background as your mind drifts off to the nights in the Detached palace, when Changbin would come and spend all his free time with you, against the rules of the palace. At that time, you had been sure that producing an heir would be a beautiful process, not a chore.
But Changbin does not even treat the thought like a chore.
Did he not love you? Did his Royal duties burden him too much?
When you leave the Queen Dowager's palace, you walk past The King's palace. It is as beautiful and majestic as they say. But you wonder if you'll ever be able to set foot in the same.
As if on cue, you see Concubine Jung walking out of the King's palace, her maids behind her. The butterflies in your stomach burn with jealousy.
She has a smirk on her face when she sees you.
"Eun, did you know there's a rumor around the palace that the King refused to sleep with the Queen last night? Sad, isn't it?" Concubine Jung says.
One of her maids giggle and nod, "Of course! How could the Queen even live with this shame?"
You cry yourself to sleep that night, while Somi does everything in her abilities to soothe you.
Needless to say, nothing worked.
*
"My lady, wake up. The King has invited you to breakfast with him." Somi informs one morning, six months after your wedding.
"Tell him I have a bad stomach bug. I cannot go."
You'd be found dead before sharing a meal with him and that obnoxious Concubine Jung. You'd shared enough meals with them already.
The past months, the King had not visited you even once but often you'd see him walking the gardens with Concubine Jung at his side.
After the first few weeks, you had no tears left to shed anymore so when the rumor came in last month that Concubine Jung might be pregnant, your eyes do not water no matter how much you force yourself to cry.
"I do not wish to congratulate them." You say, true and plain.
"My lady, he's invited only you. Not anyone else."
So you agree. As a last attempt to make your marriage work, even if it's just for your own sake.
Somi dresses you in green robes- The King's favorite. You quickly make your way to his palace, as if someone else would take your place if you didn't hurry. It's sad your thoughts had turned so negative in just half a year in the palace.
Your father had told you the King would take in many lovers during his lifetime, and that being Queen is about having power, not being loved.
But you think he didn't warn you enough. He didn't warn you how lonely it would be to sleep on the cold bed every night, how painful it would be to see the King smile at someone else.
Even if you did wish for a child, how could you produce you a child without Changbin?
"Good morning, your majesty." You say to him when you enter his bed chamber. It smells like cinnamon, a smell he'd often carry with himself back when he used to visit you at the Detached palace. Back when you were sure the king had been in love with you.
"Hello, my Queen. Please have a seat."
The butterflies dance around for a split second.
"Did you sleep well last night?" He asks, taking a seat in front of you.
"Yes." Lies. "Thank you for inviting me over."
When the maids leave the both of you alone, his demeanor changes.
"Actually, y/n, I had something to talk to you about." He says, casually, as if he hadn't been hurting you everyday for the past few months.
"What is it?" You ask.
He sighs, "It's mother. Ever since that rumor of Concubine Jung being pregnant spread. She wants the first grandchild to be of the Queen."
His words do not faze you, "How can I help you, Changbin?"
He frowns. Since when had your tone become this melancholic?
"Um, so if I have your consent, I'd like to try for a child tomorrow night. We'll see how that goes, yeah?"
"Okay. I will be honored." You say.
You finish up the food quickly and almost slide the doors open when he grabs your arm from behind.
"Y/n, what is it? Did something happen? Are your parents well?"
"My parents are well enough, thank you for asking." You say, keeping your eyes on the ground.
"Then? What happened? Is it Concubine Jung? Really, you did not have to be jealous of her. She's not pregnant. I can assure you of that. I have not consummated my marriage with any one of the concubines."
His words seem to have an effect on you. Your heart blossoms with hope but you keep your face and voice neutral.
"I am not jealous, Changbin. If one of the concubines get pregnant, I shall wish you both well."
You force your arm out of his grip and walk out the palace, not looking back once.
Changbin's stares at your leaving figure, now worried beyond relief that he might have broken the one person he cared for the most by his pursuits of a greater good.
*
While the past few months for you had been filled with loneliness, for Changbin it was almost the same-if not worse.
The first night of your marriage was filled with as many butterflies for him, as it was for you.
He had fallen in love with you and he wasn't afraid to show the world how much you meant to him. He wanted to hold you, kiss you, make love to you. And he had all plans to do that on the first night.
But that was until he had overheard a secret conversation between Concubine Jung and her father- Minister Jung.
For all he knew, Minister Jung had always wanted his daughter to be the Queen but being the dim-wit that she was, Concubine Jung could not even get through the first stage.
"Father, it's been two days since I'd been in the palace and that man has not visited me once. He had not even asked for my name the day of the welcoming. What kind of man is he? And you say I am to be Queen!"
"Hush, child. In this palace, even the walls are listening. Be careful. And as far as the position of Queen is concerned, you need not worry. If the King does bed the Queen tonight and she get pregnant, we shall make sure her pregnancy terminates before maturity. I have connections with all sorts of medicine vendors in the country, be assured, she shall never see the face of a child. After we weaken the Queen, we can take her throne as easily!"
Changbin had wanted to laugh at the man's foolish plans but deep down, he was worried as well. For you.
Which is why he pushed you away for so long and kept Concubine Jung close. While she tried everything in her power to seduce him, he refused her under the pretense of keeping an oath of abstinence for a year.
Every time she tried to even hold his hand, Changbin thought of you; your innocent eyes, your talks, your wit, your hands, your beautiful hair. No woman could make him feel like you do.
Changbin's secret informants had confirmed that Minister Jung had not one but two houses full of gold and cash he'd collected as illegal taxes from the local people. He'd also sometimes force husbands to send their wives to him in exchange for money. Even the thought nauseated Changbin.
Every time Concubine Jung visited, he made sure to collect some sort of evidence through her. He even visited her every night and while she snored away, he stole some of her gold jewlery and clothes to get them checked as evidence of the illegal taxes her father had been collecting.
And sure enough, after a few months of spying on her and her father, Changbin had gathered enough evidence by now to expose both of them at the court.
But he realised quickly that Minister Jung had a few tricks up his sleeves as well. The rumor of his daughter's pregnancy would make it difficult for Changbin to expose him easily, and so Changbin waited every night that the rumors would die down so he could run to the Queen's Palace and hug you with all his might. You were not safe unless the father and daughter were deposed.
And for some selfish reasons, Changbin had hoped you'd understand the reason behind his distance. But no woman could find a logical reason behind her lover being absent and it was horribly wrong for him to expect you to do the same.
"Are you stupid?" His friend, the eccentric dancer Minho had asked him.
Changbin had told him how coldly you'd behaved this afternoon when he'd asked you if you wished to try for a child. Most women would giggle and blush. But you were like a statue.
"You push her away for months and make her feel lonely and not loved and what not and you have the audacity to ask her that?"
"Well, yes. Mother had been pressuring me for a child and obviously, even with the pressure, I would never do anything that y/n would not have wanted but I thought it would be a great way to reconnect with her. Even if it didn't end in child making or whatever."
Minho let's out a frustrated groan, "You have to learn so much, Bin. But let's start with this- be honest with her. She's your wife and you ought to tell her everything. Give answers to all her questions and hold her hand if she let's you. Small steps first, a child can wait."
Changbin nods, " Okay, should I go to her right now?"
"Yes, you idiot!" Minho says, earning a slap on the arm from The King of Joseon.
He should be glad he's not being beheaded for calling the King an idiot.
*
You're almost done getting ready for bed when the lady in waiting makes an unexpected announcement .
"My lady, the King is here to see you."
Your heart leaps and the butterflies come alive again only to die down once you realise why he might be there. For a child. Isn't that why he's here? Isn't that why people get married in the first place?
"Y/n." He sighs when he enters the room, almost out of relief. He purses his lips.
"Is there anything I could help you with?" You ask.
Oh, how badly he'd hurt you. He could see the hurt in your eyes, in your voice, in your mannerisms.
"Y/n, I'm sorry. I really am. I know I have caused you pain and I cannot imagine how lonely it must have been. But I hope you know that I really do love you and only you."
"Then why the distance? Why visit Concubine Jung every night?" You ask, hands on your hips.
The tears that had left you threatened to return again.
And he tells you everything. From the conversation he overheard to how insistently Concubine Jung asked him for a child to how much solid proof he'd collected over the months and how he'd sent those evidences to the Minister of Security, who in turn ensured that by tomorrow the Jungs will out of the palace and be imprisoned for life.
It all makes sense to you now, of course it does. Yet you feel guilty. He'd been trying to protect you, all this while.
"I'm sorry, Changbin. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I only-"
"Don't apologize, y/n. It's me that should apologize. I should have somehow tried to contact you and tell you about everything. I'm-"
"No, no, Please. Don't. You only tried to protect me and-"
"No, y/n, it's all my fault, please-"
Somi overhears the entire conversation through the door, her mind finally relaxing after the misunderstanding had been solved between you and the King. She could no longer stand you being this sad. And she somehow knew King Changbin had his own reasons for his behavior.
She hears soft sounds of kissing through the door and takes it as a sign to move away from the door, and join the other maids waiting outside the palace door. She smiles to herself.
The butterflies burn with passion.
"I do not wish for a child this early. I want to be here like this with you for a while, just y/n and Changbin and maybe two or three years later, we could try for a child. What do you think?"
When he kissed you initially, you half expected this to end up in the bed. But it did. And you're glad it did.
The butterflies bloom more than ever.
You're wrapped in his arms, tightly. The nakedness no longer bothering the either of you.
"I agree. I want to be this close to you every night, not as a Queen or the mother of your child. But as y/n. As your wife."
Changbin draws his face closer to you, pecking you on the lips, "And so you shall, my love."
And so you shall.
89 notes · View notes
sparklingchan · 21 days
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STRAY KIDS ROYAL AU
MASTERLIST
1. Bang Chan- Work in progress
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2. Lee Minho- The way I love you
Description: He was a prince, bound by his duty. She was a harlot, longing for someone to love her truly. In stolen moments beneath the moonlit city, they dared to dream of a love meant to be.
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3. Seo Changbin- Work in progress
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4. Hwang Hyunjin - Echoes
Description: One day, you’re a college student, barely making it through your finals. And the next, you wake up in a palace, married to the most beautiful man on earth. What the hell is happening?!
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5. Han Jisung- Work in progress
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6. Lee Felix- Work in progress
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7. Kim Seungmin- A Duel of Hearts
Caught in a dilemma of affection, Kim Seungmin, a prince, finds himself drawn to you. There was but one obstacle to his pursuit —you’ve set a single condition for all potential suitors: no royal lineage.
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8. Yang Jeongin- Work in progress
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92 notes · View notes
sparklingchan · 1 month
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A Duel of Hearts || Kim Seungmin (Stray Kids)
Pairing: Reader(fem.) X Seungmin Word Count: 5k+ Warnings: Suggestive, strong language(ig), mention of suicide (not the main characters). Genre: Royal AU, Friends to Lovers, Dark Academia, Angst mixed with fluff. Description: Caught in a dilemma of affection, Kim Seungmin, a prince, finds himself drawn to you. There was but one obstacle to his pursuit —you've set a single condition for all potential suitors: no royal lineage. A/N: Hello everyone! Here's another installation of the SKZ Royal AU. Idk why but Seungmin has this Dark Academia kind of vibe so I tried to incorporate that here. Hope you guys like it! More to come<3 Do check out the other fics in the skz royal series. (The stories are not interrelated) Here's the link.
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You like to believe that your new dorm room is starting to grow on you.
It wasn't anything like your room back in your parents' house of course; but over the past twelve months, you'd renovated your dorm room enough to feel at home.
You'd replaced the light blue curtains with grey ones, swapped the single candle stand with a lantern to help you study better at night, put on a white table cloth and the list goes on.
A knock on your door pulls your attention.
It must be Wendy, you think to yourself, walking toward the door.
Correction: your only friend Wendy.
"Gosh, I really hate this academy, y/n." She walks in complaining, "I cannot believe they gave me a B in geography. I love geography. I cannot believe they'd ruin my overall grade like that."
"What happened?" You ask, closing the door behind her.
"I don't know! I will deal with this later, anyway," she says, fishing out a note from the pocket of her blazer. "I'm here to discuss a more pressing matter."
"What's that?"
"Of course, it's one of your lovers, y/n. I have two more lover letters in my backpack. Do you need them?"
You half chuckle and half sigh, taking the note from her and tearing it into bits.
"Ouch." Wendy says, staring at you, "Tell me y/n, it's been over a year since you joined the academy. All the boys here would die to even see you across the hallway yet you've kept the door to your heart locked. Why?"
"I am not not open to having a relationship. I just dislike how most of these men who pursue me are of royal blood. And if there's anything I despise most is royalty. That letter you gave me right now? It was from the Duke's son. It's his third letter in a row. That boy just doesn't know when to stop." You press your hand to your forehead, stressed.
Wendy nods her head, "Yeah, he is an annoying brat, I'll give you that, but y/n, I really don't understand your dislike towards royalty? Any girl out there would love to be pursued by royal suitors, including myself."
You smile in response, "It's a secret."
As always, Wendy just chuckles and doesn't push you to answer further because really, you don't know what you'll do if you ever have to explain yourself. It's a secret you rarely even discuss with yourself.
"Come on, we'll be late for our afternoon class." You say and walk towards the door, already tired of the day ahead of you.
*
“But Professor, do you not think that the first king of Taru was a horrible person morally? I mean, he did kill all of his wives when they failed to birth a son.”
If there is anyone in this academy who you think hates you to the core is your History Professor. The amount of times you’d ask him a question and he’d reply very vaguely, never answering to the point was insane. So naturally, you had developed a habit of asking him odd questions just to spite him.
Your Professor looks at you, almost angrily, and answers, “We are no one to judge a historical figure. Miss y/n.”
“But sir, you are portraying him as a role model to the class. Don’t you think that’s wrong? As you said, we are no one to judge him.”
Your professor hisses through gritted teeth and turns towards the board, not bothering to answer you. A subtle smile finds your lips.
“So, class as I was saying. The first King of this country- Taru- built the longest bridge in -”
“Excuse me, sir?” A hand shoots up from among the students followed by a voice, “May I answer Miss y/n’s question please?”
Your professor rubs his temple and sighs, nodding, “Go ahead, Mister Seungmin.”
You turn your head up to look at the owner of the voice, and much to your surprise, it is Kim Seungmin. He’s one of the quieter kids in the class but you’ve worked on a few projects together so you know that there’s more depth to him than just being the quiet kid by the window seat.
“Y/n, I think we could still look up to the King as a leader. Yes, he was ruthless to his wives but we don’t need to look up to him as a husband. He was, on the other hand, a great leader who led his country to become one of the greatest in the world, second to none.”
“Well, does that answer your question?” The professor asks and you nod, bowing towards Seungmin. He bows back.
The professor teaches the class for an hour more, letting you guys dismiss after his daily warning of, “You'll be going to universities next year so do work hard this year,”
You gather all your things and walk out of the class, stomach growling, almost begging you to make your way to the dining area for lunch.
For lunch, the menu rarely changes except on holidays.
And in all honesty, you’re tired of having chicken stew with rice everyday since you stepped foot in this academy, but the other options are extremely limited so you join the line of hungry and tired students, complaining about how difficult this year has been.
Once you have your plate of rice and stew, you seat on one of the empty benches and begin to gobble up the rice like there’s no tomorrow.
“Um, y/n? Mind if I join you?”
“Seungmin?” you ask, almost surprised, “Have a seat, please.”
Seungmin mutters a small ‘thanks’ and claims the seat in front of you, placing his backpack on the sides.
“So what have you been up to?” he asks to break the ice. It seems like you’re more focused on the rice in front of you than him.
“Eating?” you chuckle, “What’s up with you? How’s your preparation for University?”
Seungmin, licks his bottom lip, deep in thought.
How was his preparation for university going, really? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t even remember the last time he opened his books after school.
In fact, lately, his mind has been occupied with something entirely different-you.
You, who acts so indifferent to the rest of the people yet helped Seungmin when he was almost failing a chemistry project evaluation.
You, who says she has no friends yet packs extra food from home for Wendy.
You, who says she is having a hard time adjusting to the academy yet she’s his favorite person here.
How could you not be on his mind?
“Eh, it’s okay. I guess.” Seungmin scratches the back of his head. “How’s yours?”
“Not really well, to be honest . If only that duke’s son would stop sending me those stupid letters, my life would be a lot more peaceful.” you say and it’s true that those letter have been nothing short of a nuisance since you came back from the semester break. You respect his feelings, but you’re not obligated to like him back. Hell, you’ve never even spoken to the man. “He’s so persistent, it scares me, really.”
Seungmin could feel his anger building up. Of course he knows you have quite a few admirers. Even some of his friends are in that crowd. But Seungmin likes to think he always had the upper hand.
Yet he feels annoyed, offended at the thought that someone was pursuing you to the point of fear.
“He might be a duke’s son but he isn’t behaving like one.” Seungmin comments.
“Well, it doesn’t matter. All of these aristocrats and royals believe that the world is at their disposal. They could just command it and everything would go according to them. It’s ridiculous. I’m so glad you’re not from a royal line or else we wouldn’t have been having this conversation.” you say and Seungmin’s world stands still.
You think he’s not from a royal family?
You didn’t know who he really was?
He almost wants to tell you the truth, that he, in fact, is the descendant of the very king you were talking about in History today. But he chooses to remain silent. He’s enjoying your company way too much to ruin it in one day.
“Yeah, thank god for that.” Prince Seungmin replies.
*
The next few days pass by in the blink of an eye and the academic pressure gets worse.
"Wendy, could I borrow your lantern? Mine is broken, I think." You ask Wendy one afternoon.
The sun brightens up the inside of Wendy's room.
"Yeah, sure." She passes you her lantern, "I have a spare one. Going to the library?"
You nod.
There's no better place to study than the library. Especially on such a warm and cozy afternoon when everyone just wants to take a nap.
"I'll see you at dinner then?"
"Sure thing."
You walk the corridors, fiddling with your pockets, making sure you'd taken all your stationary. It would be a hassle to walk back to your room again.
As soon as you enter the library, the sounds of the world as if disappear. Not even the tapping of pens could be heard without focusing hard.
You find a suitable seat for yourself by the window and settle down there.
The library feels colder than your room and you're grateful for it. At least you wouldn't be sleepy now.
"Someone's working hard, I see." A teasing voice whispers from behind, "May I join you?"
Seungmin’s voice, much to your surprise, brings a smile to your face.
"Sure." You say, shy like a kid in kindergarten.
He claims the seat across you, setting his books and stationary on the table.
And for the next three hours, the only sound you hear from his side is that of his breathing. Even and steady.
He's busy reading a book and his eyes are focused on the pages, never once wavering anywhere else.
He's quite sincere, you realize.
The sun sets and the students light up their lanterns and immediately go back to studying. Seungmin glances at you for a second, his lips curving into a soft smile. You smile back, albeit shyly.
Hours pass by and you know it's almost time for dinner because your stomach is growling. Louder than ever.
"Y/n," Seungmin speaks to you, putting his book down, "Want to have some warm Noodles? There's a new stall in town which sells delicious noodles."
You contemplate for a second before agreeing with a smile.
"Noodles sound amazing right now."
The both of you pick up your lanterns and walk out the main gate into the streets of the town.
While the town is busy and bustling with activities during the day, at nightfall the town comes to a standstill. Something you've always liked.
"It's not in the market square, I presume." You say as Seungmin navigates through the lanes of the market.
"No," He replies, "But it is quite near to the market."
After a five minute walk from the market square, you finally see an old bamboo hut in the distance, dim and quiet.
But the moment Seungmin and you are seated on one of the wooden benches, you're as if in a trance. The aroma of herbs and spices and chicken broth is nothing like you'd ever felt before.
"Grandma, we'll have two bowls of noodles with a side of Kimchi, please." Seungmin says.
"Sure thing, son." The woman replies with a twinkle in her eyes.
"You're a regular here. " You say to Seungmin, looking around the interiors of the stall. "It's cozy and the noodles smell amazing already."
"Oh, y/n, wait till you taste them. It'll be like nothing you'd ever had before."
And true to his words, the moment you eat those noodles, flavors burst in your mouth.
It is a perfect blend of sweet and salty, but the black pepper adds the perfect spice to the combination of flavors.
"Seungmin, this is amazing!" You say, taking a second bite. "We have to come back here again!"
He can only chuckle at your reaction. If you'd say the word, he'd bring you to this place everyday. Without fail.
The two of you eat quietly, only sharing a glance of amazement once in a while.
"I'll pay, y/n." Seungmin offers once you guys are done eating, bellies full.
"No! Let me pay." You get up immediately and walk up to the old lady.
Seungmin can only shake his head at you.
"How much will that be, grandma?" You ask, taking out your purse.
"Oh, its on the house today. " the lady says, much to your surprise, "Master Seungmin brought his girlfriend out for a date at our place. I couldn't take money from you today."
Seungmin and you stare at each other, wide eyed and speechless and hearts racing.
"Grandma! She's not my girlfriend! We're classmates." Seungmin says, the tip of his ears bright red.
You nod, shyly, "There's nothing of that sort going on between us!"
Grandma smiles as she pours soup into a bowl, "Well, not yet maybe. I have an eye for things like that, you see."
When you exit the hut, Seungmin remains quite, his lips pursed in a line. It's truly endearing to see him flustered like that.
"Well, that was awkward." You say, trying to lighten up the mood.
Seungmin nods, rubbing the back of his head, "Sorry about that. I don't know why she'd say that."
"No, no, it's okay. She's an adorable woman." You say.
The rest of the walk passes by in silence.
For some reason, you always find yourself in these silent moments with Seungmin. But you like the silence. It's calming, not uncomfortable.
"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" He asks as the two of you reach the entrance of your dorm building.
You nod. You're about to turn around when he pulls you in for a gentle embrace.
Your heart stops. Your breathing stops. The earth stops.
Without even meaning to, you find yourself melting into the embrace.
The next second, Seungmin pulls back and walks towards his dorm, not even saying a word.
And you're standing there, mouth hanging open.
What are these nervous sensations Seungmin is making you feel?
*
"So why were you not at dinner yesterday?" Wendy asks the next morning, an eyebrow raised in suspicion, "Were you with a boy?"
You try to calm the heat spreading to your cheeks, "Kind of. But it wasn't anything like what you think. I swear. We were studying together and then he asked if I wanted to try a new food stall in town. That's all."
And then he hugged you Goodnight. And you haven't been able to forget the way his body felt against yours.
"And who exactly is 'we'?" Wendy asks again, the tone of suspiciousness still present in her words.
"Seungmin and I." You say.
Wendy stares at you, flabbergasted.
Seungmin and you?
You went out on a supposed platonic date with a Prince?
"Y/n, Seungmin is-" Wendy's words are cut off by the ringing of the hourly bell, indicating that your classes are about to begin.
"Wendy, I'll tell you all about it. Promise. See you later." You say and disappear into the crowd of hurrying students but Wendy doesn't move.
Wendy has a different plan in her mind. Something she considers more important than attending boring lectures.
*
"Kim Seungmin, can I see you for a second?" Wendy drags Seungmin by his arm the moment he steps out of his dorm building.
He stares at her, confused.
He didn't have a class yet; he was just stepping out to get some breakfast. Where was she dragging him early in the morning?
"What's wrong?" He asks.
Wendy and him have never even talked with each other before so why this sudden interest?
Wendy stands in front of him, eyes full of doubt. Her hands rest on her hips.
"Are you trying to mess with y/n?" She asks flatly.
Seungmin is taken aback, "What? No! Of course not!"
Why would she even think that? Seungmin almost feels angry.
"Then why are you hanging out with her late at night and why is she oblivious to you being of royal blood?"
Seungmin sighs, "Okay, Wendy, listen. I'm not trying to mess with her or anything. But its true I haven't told her about my family yet. And I will tell her. But I just want her to know me for me. Before she starts to dislike me just because I'm of royal blood. Do you think I'm wrong?"
Wendy thinks for a second before replying, "Well, you don't mean any harm. But...I think you should tell her about yourself. I mean if you're trying to get her to like you back, might as well be honest about your life."
Seungmin’s eyes are wide with shock. How did she even know about Seungmin’s crush on you? Did one of his friends spread the rumor? Did she try to spy on him?
"Hey, don't look so surprised, your majesty." sarcasm drips from her words, "Everyone here knows you like her. We have eyes, you know?"
Seungmin doesn't reply, embarrassed. Of course it is hot gossip when a prince falls in love, isn't it?
People have written sagas and books and poems about it. What is a little academy gossip compared to that?
*
You find out Seungmin hanging out with a female friend the a few days later during lunch, and you try to shake off an uncomfortable feeling.
"Seungmin, could I speak to you for a second?"
The girl looks at you, from head to toe and nods her head. "Hey, she's quite pretty, Seungmin."
Seungmin sighs, "Oh, shut up, Sojong. Don't you have a class?"
His ears are red again, like how they were back at the noodles shop.
"I'm going now anyways. Bye sweethearts!" The girl walks off with a smile, and you're left confused.
"Don't mind her. She's my cousin. An idiot cousin, if I may add."
It feels as if a weight is lifted off of your chest. Your lips automatically curve into a smile.
"I didn't know you had a cousin in the academy."
"Yeah, well. Now you do. So what's going on?" He replies.
"Um.. did Wendy say something to you a few days ago? About you going to the noodles stall with me?"
Seungmin chuckles, "Oh yeah. But it's alright. She's your friend. I get that she's quite protective of you."
You smile, "Thanks for understanding. But , umm...Seungmin, she also might have implied that you kind of want to go out with me."
Seungmin’s soul almost leaves his body. Wendy could not have shut up about it, could she? Now you probably think Seungmin is some kind of creep trying to get into your pants.
"Hey, it's okay. Wendy always exaggerates everything and she wants me to get a boyfriend desperately so I understand if you didn't say anything of that sort to her. She's not very good at conveying messages." You say.
"But I did." Seungmin says, mustering all his courage, "I did say that. To her. And it's totally okay if you don't feel the same way about me. I really do. "
You almost feel like laughing.
You haven't been able to get him out of your mind for the past few days. And he thinks you don't like him?
The both of you had been busy with different classes and tests and projects. The few glances and greetings you shared with him during lunch would become the highlight of your day. And he thinks you wouldn't want to go out with him?
Impossible.
"I do, though. I'm open to the idea of going out with you."
Seungmin was not prepared for that answer. He was sure he'd get rejected, but here you were, looking all shy and sweet while confessing to liking him back?
"Um..so how about tomorrow night? There's a nice restaurant with live music and all. I could book us a table there."
You try to supress the grin that is trying to claw its way onto your face.
"Sounds great. See you then."
"Yeah, see you." He replies, heart hammering hard against his chest.
*
The night finally comes and you find Seungmin standing just outside of your dorm building.
He wears a black long coat and pants, paired with a high collared white shirt and a rose in his hands.
Your legs feel weak the moment your eyes meet. And the gravity of the situation finally dawns on you.
By tonight, Kim Seungmin might become your boyfriend. He's handsome, intelligent and funny, yet he decides to go out on a date with you?
Why? How did the two of you even end up here?
On the other hand, Seungmin feels like he'd been hit by the cupid's arrow. The only thing he can think about as you make your way towards him is how beautiful that long, pink dress looks on you and how he couldn't wait to make you his.
"For the beautiful lady." He says, offering you the red rose.
Shyly, you take the rose.
"Shall we?" He asks, gently taking your hand. Your hand feels warm.
"Yes." You reply, intertwining your fingers with his.
Oh, how beautiful it feels.
To be able to walk hand in hand with the man you admired so much. It feels natural. Like this is how the two of you were always meant to be. Maybe if Wendy had never told you about how Seungmin felt about you, you'd have never made the effort to ask him if he ever saw you in a non-platonic way.
But you're glad everything that happened happened. You're not someone who liked to live with what-ifs.
The restaurant he'd booked just adds to the beauty of this evening. The ambience is nice and a musician plays a beautiful melody on the piano, matching to the aesthetic of the place.
"I had booked a table for two by the name of Kim Seungmin. "
The waiter takes you to your place, a large candle adorning the center of the table.
You take your seats and the waiter takes your order and leaves.
Seungmin gets a hold of your hand again, intertwining your fingers.
"I can't believe we're actually out on a date." He chuckles, tracing his thumb across the back of your palm.
"I can't either. It's surreal." You say, "But I love it. I love being here with you."
Seungmin nods, "I love being anywhere, as long as you're with me."
"Didn't know Kim Seungmin was such a flirt, huh." You laugh, your cheeks heating up.
"Oh, you're in for a long ride, baby girl." He says, pressing his lips softly against your fingers.
Goosebumps.
Indeed, you were in for a long ride.
*
That night, the two of you walk back to the academy campus in silence.
A silence that is so calming and so comforting, it feels almost like a soothing hug from Seungmin.
When you two reach the main entrance of your dorm, Seungmin pulls you in for a hug again.
And just like last time, you melt into his arms.
He smells like smoke and mint and comfort.
"I had a great time, y/n." He whispers, pulling away but keeping your faces close.
He put strands of your hair behind your ears, so soft and tender.
"I did, too." You reply, your hands gently settling on his cheeks.
"Can I kiss you, y/n, please?" Seungmin asks, almost pleads. Like kissing you is what would keep him alive from that day on, like kissing you would fill his lungs with oxygen, like kissing you is the drug that he just cannot quit.
And you can only nod before he crashes his lips onto yours.
And yet again, he's gentle and tender and you sigh into his mouth when he pulls you closer.
He tastes like the tiramisu you had back in the restaurant, sweet and like strawberries.
"I'll see you tomorrow, then." He says when you pull back, breathing heavy. His eyes are shy with a sense of pride in them. He couldn't believe that the girl he'd been crushing on since last year was finally his. He couldn't believe his luck.
And neither could you.
"Yeah, see you!" You say and kiss his lips once again before jogging into the dorm building.
Seungmin goes to sleep that night dreaming of you and wakes up yearning for you in the morning.
And the cycle repeats every day, for the next 2 months.
The two of you had become inseparable, spending every possible moment with each other.
Whenever your schedules would not let you spend a lot of time together, the two of would make sure to have at least one meal together. That single meal would be the highlight of both of your days.
But the final exams loom over you like an ominous grey cloud.
"So, as you already know, our country neighbors multiple other countries, each with their own king and set of rules. I want you all to remember the names of all current kings and all new rules they had added to their country during their tenure. " the history teacher was going on and on, "Remember, you only have a month left for your finals. That final grade would determine the trajectory of your lives. Study well."
And he finishes off with that threat.
You were so busy jotting down notes during the class that you didn't notice Seungmin's absence from the day's class.
You'd been late this morning and didn't have time to even have breakfast before coming to class. Naturally, you'd assumed he'd been in the class.
"I don't see your boyfriend today, y/n." Wendy says after class, as if reading your mind.
"Yeah, I've been wondering the same thing." You say, absently, stuffing your books back in your bag.
Wendy tags along with her other friends for lunch and you excuse yourself, making your way towards Seungmin’s dorm building.
You'd been to his room multiple times now, yet everytime you're surprised by how neat it is. The books are neatly lined up on the shelf, the blankets are folded on the bed and his shoes are neatly stacked by the corner of his cupboard.
"Missed you at class today." You say to Seungmin, whose eyes widen with excitement when he sees you enter the room.
"Yeah, I spent nearly three hours solving a problem last night, I didn't wake up on time." He says, patting the space near him on the bed.
You sit beside him, "Can we study together at night? I need your help."
He agrees immediately, pecking your cheek.
"In fact, we could go to the library right now, what say?" He asks.
"Did you forget, Seungmin? We have a field trip today. In the second half. We're supposed to assemble at the playground after lunch."
Seungmin chuckles, "Yeah. A field trip to the old fort of Taru. Almost forgot about it."
Something he'd been dreading for weeks now.
When it was announced that the final year students would be going on a field trip, he was excited in the beginning.
But when he found out the location of the said trip, he was devastated. The old fort of Taru was his ancestral home. His grandfather and great-grand father and great-great grandfather fought multiple wars and ruled the country from that fort and when they passed away, Seungmin’s father had shifted his family to a new palace just outside the city, deciding to turn the old fort into a museum for tourists.
Seungmin didn't dislike the old fort. In fact, he loved visiting that place . Every year, he'd look forward to visiting the old fort to pay homage to his forefathers during special festivals that only the Royal family celebrated.
Yet, he was dreading today's trip. Because at the entrance of the new museum, stands a tall painting of him and his family, welcoming tourists to their ancestral home.
And if you see the painting, his façade is going to disappear and you'll know his identity and that would be the end of his beautiful daydream.
But when you pull him by his collar and kiss him with so much love, he cannot help but wish for this dream to last forever.
*
When the time finally comes to board the horse carriages that would take the students to the fort, Seungmin starts rethinking every single choice of his till date. He knew he was hurting you, he knew you would be devasted to find out who he really is. But he would die if had to lose you.
And his greatest fears come to life the moment he sets foot out of that damned carriage.
Wendy, with her hand on your shoulder, stands near the fort entrance. You'd reached the fort earlier since the girls were sent off earlier. And Seungmin wishes they hadn't been.
You look confused, sad, eyebrows furrowed in exasperation.
When Wendy sees Seungmin, her eyes widen. "She knows." She mouths at him.
Seungmin swallows the lump in his throat, "Y/n, I swear..I swear I didn't do it to deceive you. I really like you and hell, I even love you. Please. Hear me out."
You don't say a word and stare at him with a piercing gaze.
"Y/n, please. I don't know why you hate Royal families but I promise you, I'm not as bad as you think they are. You know me, y/n. I'm your Seungmin!" He insists, trying to hold your hand.
But you pull away.
"You lied to me. You're no better than them." You say, almost a whisper, "Forget about what happened between us. It's over now."
And with that, the love of Seungmin’s life walks out of his life, leaving him in shambles.
*
You'd not slept properly for a week now and even stopped attending any classes. You had buried yourself in your books, revising every single page of every single book for as many times as you could.
The only time you did step out of your room was during lunch and dinner and even then, you made sure to avoid him at all costs.
It had been dreadful, really. You thought it would be easier for you to move on and forget the past few months if you kept reminding yourself of Seungmin’s lies, but it only made you miss him more.
He lied, yes; but he also made you fall in love with him, which was worse. Falling in love and dreaming of a family with Seungmin was never on your cards, you were sure you'd always marry the person your parents would have chosen for you. But here you were. Heartbroken and infatuated; both by the same person.
And today is no different from other days, or so you thought.
At around half past midnight, you hear a knock on your door. Wendy had gone home for a week and would be back tomorrow, so you are genuinely curious as to who would knock on your door at such an ungodly hour.
When you open the door, you see those eyes again- the black orbs that you'd fallen so deeply for.
"Y/n, do you have a minute? Please?" Seungmin pleads when you freeze at the sight of him.
"No. I'm afraid not." You reply, your heart hammering against your chest. The tightness in your throat does not help.
"Please, y/n. I beg you, please."
Across the hallway, a few girls pop their heads out of their doors, wondering where the male voice is from.
Sensing no other option, you pull Seungmin inside your room reluctantly.
"Fine. Say what you have to and then leave." You mutter.
You're doing everything in your power to avoid any sort of eye contact with him because you know that is what your weakness is.
He sits at the edge of your bed, while you sit in your chair, across the room.
"Y/n, you don't have to take me back. But I want you to know that I never meant to deceive you. It is pure, genuine love that I feel for you. I know you hate me because I'm of royal blood but ignoring that part, you did like me, didn't you? Before you even knew about my family. I'm still that person. I may be a prince but that is not all I am."
Your throat gets tighter and your eyes mist over with tears.
"It doesn't matter. Our relationship started from a lie. And as a matter of fact, I cannot ignore that you're a prince. I had one condition for all suitors and I cannot withdraw it for anyone."
Seungmin swallows, his eyes bloodshot, "Can you at least tell me why you hate Royal blood so much? What did they ever do to you?"
You scoff, "You really wanna know, huh? Does it still matter now? Because I'm never going to get back together with you, Seungmin."
"I want to know."
And so you tell him.
"I hate royals so much because I am one of them. I am a princess. A forgotten one, but the blood of royalty still courses through my veins."
You were a little girl of around four when your now parents had adopted you, more or less. You didn't know who they were or why they were taking you away from your mother and father- the king and queen of Nabha- a country neighboring Taru. You only remember crying till your head hurt. You remember your birth mother crying, standing at the gates of the castle while her emerald crown fell at her feet.
When you turned twelve, your adoptive parents told you the truth of your adoption.
Your adoptive mother worked in the Royal Palace as a governess for royal children while your adoptive father worked as a royal architect. They'd both met in the palace and fell in love, eventually married. You were born to the queen and king a year later. Everything was going well.
But as all stories go, yours had a villain too. Your own birth father- the king. He was the worst kind of person. He was cruel, unjust, abusive and hated you because you were a girl. He had prayed to every God known to mankind for a son, only for him to receive a daughter in return. But he refused to crown you the heir. For the next few years, the king traveled to all neighboring countries , looking for some solution to his problem. And then he found it. An oracle that told him to disown his first born daughter, in order to be blessed with a son.
When the king arranged for your adoption, he didn't even bother consulting his wife. One morning, you were in her arms and the next, you were being taken away to Taru by your adoptive parents.
The Queen killed herself the next morning.
"And that was the day I promised two things to myself: First, I would never set foot back in that country. I made Taru, your country my home. Second, I would never marry a man of royal ancestry. Because I know, no matter what happens, I never want to be associated with royals ever again. Betrayal is all we'll receive at the end under the pretense of a greater good."
Seungmin is speechless at this point. He thought your dislike towards royal lineage was just a matter of preference but now, he understands you. Truly. He understands why you'd take his lies as a sign of betrayal.
"Y/n, I-"
"Save it. You have your answers and I have mine. Leave."
He walks out of the room without a word and the moment you lock the door behind him, he falls on his knees, crying. His heart aches for you. For everything you'd been through and for everything he put you through. He cries for you.
But little does he know, behind the closed door, you're on your knees too, sobbing into your hands. Every single fiber of your being begged you to stop him and you chose to ignore it.
You wonder if you'll ever be able to hate Seungmin like you wish you did.
*
Wendy is lecturing you again this morning, her face tense.
"Y/n, we're leaving this academy forever tomorrow. Can you please give yourself the closure you deserve? Just go and talk to Seungmin. You don't have to hate his guts forever. "
The final exam results are out today, which means that your parents would be coming to pick you up tomorrow evening. You'd be leaving this place and all the bitter-sweet memories associated with it forever. It hurts you a little.
But you had to be strong.
"I've got my closure, Wendy. I promise. Can we talk about something else now?"
Wendy sighs, "Y/n, if this is what you want, then I shall support you. But know that I genuinely will always believe that you and Seungmin were meant to be. Even if you get married and have ten kids with someone else!"
For the first time in months, you allow yourself to laugh at Wendy's stupid statements. She joins in too.
But her words stick with you throughout the day.
That night, after you're done packing most of your stuff, you crash on your bed, a thousand thoughts circling your head.
I genuinely will always believe that you and Seungmin were meant to be. Even if you get married and have kids with someone else!
Even the thought of marrying another man and having his kids nauseated you. Are you really ready to let go of Seungmin, forever?
You had spent a long time trying to forget Prince Kim Seungmin, his voice, his words, his touch, but had you really succeeded?
After today, you might never see him again. Are you ready to live with that regret forever?
The answer to all these questions is no. You are not someone to live wondering the what-ifs.
So you jump out of the bed, lantern in hand and run towards Seungmin’s dorm.
*
"Y/n, did you come here by mistake?" Is his first reaction when he opens his door, hair messy and eyes alert.
You shake your head, "No. I need to talk to you. Can I come in?"
He let's you in.
"So, what's up?" He asks, rubbing the back of his neck. He looks nervous. Like the first time he had taken you out for dinner to grandma's noodle shop.
"I've been thinking. About you and about us. And I.. I'm scared. I will not lie. I do not trust royals, but for some reason, I trust you. I know that there’s a thousand things that could go wrong but I still want to be with you. If you'll have me again"
Seungmin is dumbfounded. Literally. How does one even respond to things like these?
"Seungmin, say something!" You insist.
He forces the words out of his mouth, "I'm g-glad you feel that way."
You scowl, hands on your hips.
"I bare my heart open to you and this is all you have to say? Really? Listen, if you've found someone else in these few weeks then I understand, I really do but please at least-"
He kisses you. He kisses you so beautifully, it pains you to even think that you were willing to give up this. And for what? A horrible father who coincidentally was also of royal blood?
His tongue nudges at your tongue playfully, while his hands are cupping your face, thumbs circling your skin in comfort.
You'd never felt so much peace.
When you pull away, he gently presses his forehead onto yours, "I wouldn't dare find someone else. I assure you, whatever prejudices Nabha had, they do not exist here in Taru. I'm not like your birth father and I will never be. I promise. I will do everything in my power to convince you about it."
And for some reason, as usual, you believe him.
You kiss him again, knowing that if you could go back in time, you would not change a thing. You would let Seungmin easily win the duel of your hearts a thousand times over.
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sparklingchan · 1 month
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A Duel of Hearts || Kim Seungmin (Stray Kids)
Pairing: Reader(fem.) X Seungmin Word Count: 5k+ Warnings: Suggestive, strong language(ig), mention of suicide (not the main characters). Genre: Royal AU, Friends to Lovers, Dark Academia, Angst mixed with fluff. Description: Caught in a dilemma of affection, Kim Seungmin, a prince, finds himself drawn to you. There was but one obstacle to his pursuit —you've set a single condition for all potential suitors: no royal lineage. A/N: Hello everyone! Here's another installation of the SKZ Royal AU. Idk why but Seungmin has this Dark Academia kind of vibe so I tried to incorporate that here. Hope you guys like it! More to come<3 Do check out the other fics in the skz royal series. (The stories are not interrelated) Here's the link.
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You like to believe that your new dorm room is starting to grow on you.
It wasn't anything like your room back in your parents' house of course; but over the past twelve months, you'd renovated your dorm room enough to feel at home.
You'd replaced the light blue curtains with grey ones, swapped the single candle stand with a lantern to help you study better at night, put on a white table cloth and the list goes on.
A knock on your door pulls your attention.
It must be Wendy, you think to yourself, walking toward the door.
Correction: your only friend Wendy.
"Gosh, I really hate this academy, y/n." She walks in complaining, "I cannot believe they gave me a B in geography. I love geography. I cannot believe they'd ruin my overall grade like that."
"What happened?" You ask, closing the door behind her.
"I don't know! I will deal with this later, anyway," she says, fishing out a note from the pocket of her blazer. "I'm here to discuss a more pressing matter."
"What's that?"
"Of course, it's one of your lovers, y/n. I have two more lover letters in my backpack. Do you need them?"
You half chuckle and half sigh, taking the note from her and tearing it into bits.
"Ouch." Wendy says, staring at you, "Tell me y/n, it's been over a year since you joined the academy. All the boys here would die to even see you across the hallway yet you've kept the door to your heart locked. Why?"
"I am not not open to having a relationship. I just dislike how most of these men who pursue me are of royal blood. And if there's anything I despise most is royalty. That letter you gave me right now? It was from the Duke's son. It's his third letter in a row. That boy just doesn't know when to stop." You press your hand to your forehead, stressed.
Wendy nods her head, "Yeah, he is an annoying brat, I'll give you that, but y/n, I really don't understand your dislike towards royalty? Any girl out there would love to be pursued by royal suitors, including myself."
You smile in response, "It's a secret."
As always, Wendy just chuckles and doesn't push you to answer further because really, you don't know what you'll do if you ever have to explain yourself. It's a secret you rarely even discuss with yourself.
"Come on, we'll be late for our afternoon class." You say and walk towards the door, already tired of the day ahead of you.
*
“But Professor, do you not think that the first king of Taru was a horrible person morally? I mean, he did kill all of his wives when they failed to birth a son.”
If there is anyone in this academy who you think hates you to the core is your History Professor. The amount of times you’d ask him a question and he’d reply very vaguely, never answering to the point was insane. So naturally, you had developed a habit of asking him odd questions just to spite him.
Your Professor looks at you, almost angrily, and answers, “We are no one to judge a historical figure. Miss y/n.”
“But sir, you are portraying him as a role model to the class. Don’t you think that’s wrong? As you said, we are no one to judge him.”
Your professor hisses through gritted teeth and turns towards the board, not bothering to answer you. A subtle smile finds your lips.
“So, class as I was saying. The first King of this country- Taru- built the longest bridge in -”
“Excuse me, sir?” A hand shoots up from among the students followed by a voice, “May I answer Miss y/n’s question please?”
Your professor rubs his temple and sighs, nodding, “Go ahead, Mister Seungmin.”
You turn your head up to look at the owner of the voice, and much to your surprise, it is Kim Seungmin. He’s one of the quieter kids in the class but you’ve worked on a few projects together so you know that there’s more depth to him than just being the quiet kid by the window seat.
“Y/n, I think we could still look up to the King as a leader. Yes, he was ruthless to his wives but we don’t need to look up to him as a husband. He was, on the other hand, a great leader who led his country to become one of the greatest in the world, second to none.”
“Well, does that answer your question?” The professor asks and you nod, bowing towards Seungmin. He bows back.
The professor teaches the class for an hour more, letting you guys dismiss after his daily warning of, “You'll be going to universities next year so do work hard this year,”
You gather all your things and walk out of the class, stomach growling, almost begging you to make your way to the dining area for lunch.
For lunch, the menu rarely changes except on holidays.
And in all honesty, you’re tired of having chicken stew with rice everyday since you stepped foot in this academy, but the other options are extremely limited so you join the line of hungry and tired students, complaining about how difficult this year has been.
Once you have your plate of rice and stew, you seat on one of the empty benches and begin to gobble up the rice like there’s no tomorrow.
“Um, y/n? Mind if I join you?”
“Seungmin?” you ask, almost surprised, “Have a seat, please.”
Seungmin mutters a small ‘thanks’ and claims the seat in front of you, placing his backpack on the sides.
“So what have you been up to?” he asks to break the ice. It seems like you’re more focused on the rice in front of you than him.
“Eating?” you chuckle, “What’s up with you? How’s your preparation for University?”
Seungmin, licks his bottom lip, deep in thought.
How was his preparation for university going, really? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t even remember the last time he opened his books after school.
In fact, lately, his mind has been occupied with something entirely different-you.
You, who acts so indifferent to the rest of the people yet helped Seungmin when he was almost failing a chemistry project evaluation.
You, who says she has no friends yet packs extra food from home for Wendy.
You, who says she is having a hard time adjusting to the academy yet she’s his favorite person here.
How could you not be on his mind?
“Eh, it’s okay. I guess.” Seungmin scratches the back of his head. “How’s yours?”
“Not really well, to be honest . If only that duke’s son would stop sending me those stupid letters, my life would be a lot more peaceful.” you say and it’s true that those letter have been nothing short of a nuisance since you came back from the semester break. You respect his feelings, but you’re not obligated to like him back. Hell, you’ve never even spoken to the man. “He’s so persistent, it scares me, really.”
Seungmin could feel his anger building up. Of course he knows you have quite a few admirers. Even some of his friends are in that crowd. But Seungmin likes to think he always had the upper hand.
Yet he feels annoyed, offended at the thought that someone was pursuing you to the point of fear.
“He might be a duke’s son but he isn’t behaving like one.” Seungmin comments.
“Well, it doesn’t matter. All of these aristocrats and royals believe that the world is at their disposal. They could just command it and everything would go according to them. It’s ridiculous. I’m so glad you’re not from a royal line or else we wouldn’t have been having this conversation.” you say and Seungmin’s world stands still.
You think he’s not from a royal family?
You didn’t know who he really was?
He almost wants to tell you the truth, that he, in fact, is the descendant of the very king you were talking about in History today. But he chooses to remain silent. He’s enjoying your company way too much to ruin it in one day.
“Yeah, thank god for that.” Prince Seungmin replies.
*
The next few days pass by in the blink of an eye and the academic pressure gets worse.
"Wendy, could I borrow your lantern? Mine is broken, I think." You ask Wendy one afternoon.
The sun brightens up the inside of Wendy's room.
"Yeah, sure." She passes you her lantern, "I have a spare one. Going to the library?"
You nod.
There's no better place to study than the library. Especially on such a warm and cozy afternoon when everyone just wants to take a nap.
"I'll see you at dinner then?"
"Sure thing."
You walk the corridors, fiddling with your pockets, making sure you'd taken all your stationary. It would be a hassle to walk back to your room again.
As soon as you enter the library, the sounds of the world as if disappear. Not even the tapping of pens could be heard without focusing hard.
You find a suitable seat for yourself by the window and settle down there.
The library feels colder than your room and you're grateful for it. At least you wouldn't be sleepy now.
"Someone's working hard, I see." A teasing voice whispers from behind, "May I join you?"
Seungmin’s voice, much to your surprise, brings a smile to your face.
"Sure." You say, shy like a kid in kindergarten.
He claims the seat across you, setting his books and stationary on the table.
And for the next three hours, the only sound you hear from his side is that of his breathing. Even and steady.
He's busy reading a book and his eyes are focused on the pages, never once wavering anywhere else.
He's quite sincere, you realize.
The sun sets and the students light up their lanterns and immediately go back to studying. Seungmin glances at you for a second, his lips curving into a soft smile. You smile back, albeit shyly.
Hours pass by and you know it's almost time for dinner because your stomach is growling. Louder than ever.
"Y/n," Seungmin speaks to you, putting his book down, "Want to have some warm Noodles? There's a new stall in town which sells delicious noodles."
You contemplate for a second before agreeing with a smile.
"Noodles sound amazing right now."
The both of you pick up your lanterns and walk out the main gate into the streets of the town.
While the town is busy and bustling with activities during the day, at nightfall the town comes to a standstill. Something you've always liked.
"It's not in the market square, I presume." You say as Seungmin navigates through the lanes of the market.
"No," He replies, "But it is quite near to the market."
After a five minute walk from the market square, you finally see an old bamboo hut in the distance, dim and quiet.
But the moment Seungmin and you are seated on one of the wooden benches, you're as if in a trance. The aroma of herbs and spices and chicken broth is nothing like you'd ever felt before.
"Grandma, we'll have two bowls of noodles with a side of Kimchi, please." Seungmin says.
"Sure thing, son." The woman replies with a twinkle in her eyes.
"You're a regular here. " You say to Seungmin, looking around the interiors of the stall. "It's cozy and the noodles smell amazing already."
"Oh, y/n, wait till you taste them. It'll be like nothing you'd ever had before."
And true to his words, the moment you eat those noodles, flavors burst in your mouth.
It is a perfect blend of sweet and salty, but the black pepper adds the perfect spice to the combination of flavors.
"Seungmin, this is amazing!" You say, taking a second bite. "We have to come back here again!"
He can only chuckle at your reaction. If you'd say the word, he'd bring you to this place everyday. Without fail.
The two of you eat quietly, only sharing a glance of amazement once in a while.
"I'll pay, y/n." Seungmin offers once you guys are done eating, bellies full.
"No! Let me pay." You get up immediately and walk up to the old lady.
Seungmin can only shake his head at you.
"How much will that be, grandma?" You ask, taking out your purse.
"Oh, its on the house today. " the lady says, much to your surprise, "Master Seungmin brought his girlfriend out for a date at our place. I couldn't take money from you today."
Seungmin and you stare at each other, wide eyed and speechless and hearts racing.
"Grandma! She's not my girlfriend! We're classmates." Seungmin says, the tip of his ears bright red.
You nod, shyly, "There's nothing of that sort going on between us!"
Grandma smiles as she pours soup into a bowl, "Well, not yet maybe. I have an eye for things like that, you see."
When you exit the hut, Seungmin remains quite, his lips pursed in a line. It's truly endearing to see him flustered like that.
"Well, that was awkward." You say, trying to lighten up the mood.
Seungmin nods, rubbing the back of his head, "Sorry about that. I don't know why she'd say that."
"No, no, it's okay. She's an adorable woman." You say.
The rest of the walk passes by in silence.
For some reason, you always find yourself in these silent moments with Seungmin. But you like the silence. It's calming, not uncomfortable.
"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" He asks as the two of you reach the entrance of your dorm building.
You nod. You're about to turn around when he pulls you in for a gentle embrace.
Your heart stops. Your breathing stops. The earth stops.
Without even meaning to, you find yourself melting into the embrace.
The next second, Seungmin pulls back and walks towards his dorm, not even saying a word.
And you're standing there, mouth hanging open.
What are these nervous sensations Seungmin is making you feel?
*
"So why were you not at dinner yesterday?" Wendy asks the next morning, an eyebrow raised in suspicion, "Were you with a boy?"
You try to calm the heat spreading to your cheeks, "Kind of. But it wasn't anything like what you think. I swear. We were studying together and then he asked if I wanted to try a new food stall in town. That's all."
And then he hugged you Goodnight. And you haven't been able to forget the way his body felt against yours.
"And who exactly is 'we'?" Wendy asks again, the tone of suspiciousness still present in her words.
"Seungmin and I." You say.
Wendy stares at you, flabbergasted.
Seungmin and you?
You went out on a supposed platonic date with a Prince?
"Y/n, Seungmin is-" Wendy's words are cut off by the ringing of the hourly bell, indicating that your classes are about to begin.
"Wendy, I'll tell you all about it. Promise. See you later." You say and disappear into the crowd of hurrying students but Wendy doesn't move.
Wendy has a different plan in her mind. Something she considers more important than attending boring lectures.
*
"Kim Seungmin, can I see you for a second?" Wendy drags Seungmin by his arm the moment he steps out of his dorm building.
He stares at her, confused.
He didn't have a class yet; he was just stepping out to get some breakfast. Where was she dragging him early in the morning?
"What's wrong?" He asks.
Wendy and him have never even talked with each other before so why this sudden interest?
Wendy stands in front of him, eyes full of doubt. Her hands rest on her hips.
"Are you trying to mess with y/n?" She asks flatly.
Seungmin is taken aback, "What? No! Of course not!"
Why would she even think that? Seungmin almost feels angry.
"Then why are you hanging out with her late at night and why is she oblivious to you being of royal blood?"
Seungmin sighs, "Okay, Wendy, listen. I'm not trying to mess with her or anything. But its true I haven't told her about my family yet. And I will tell her. But I just want her to know me for me. Before she starts to dislike me just because I'm of royal blood. Do you think I'm wrong?"
Wendy thinks for a second before replying, "Well, you don't mean any harm. But...I think you should tell her about yourself. I mean if you're trying to get her to like you back, might as well be honest about your life."
Seungmin’s eyes are wide with shock. How did she even know about Seungmin’s crush on you? Did one of his friends spread the rumor? Did she try to spy on him?
"Hey, don't look so surprised, your majesty." sarcasm drips from her words, "Everyone here knows you like her. We have eyes, you know?"
Seungmin doesn't reply, embarrassed. Of course it is hot gossip when a prince falls in love, isn't it?
People have written sagas and books and poems about it. What is a little academy gossip compared to that?
*
You find out Seungmin hanging out with a female friend the a few days later during lunch, and you try to shake off an uncomfortable feeling.
"Seungmin, could I speak to you for a second?"
The girl looks at you, from head to toe and nods her head. "Hey, she's quite pretty, Seungmin."
Seungmin sighs, "Oh, shut up, Sojong. Don't you have a class?"
His ears are red again, like how they were back at the noodles shop.
"I'm going now anyways. Bye sweethearts!" The girl walks off with a smile, and you're left confused.
"Don't mind her. She's my cousin. An idiot cousin, if I may add."
It feels as if a weight is lifted off of your chest. Your lips automatically curve into a smile.
"I didn't know you had a cousin in the academy."
"Yeah, well. Now you do. So what's going on?" He replies.
"Um.. did Wendy say something to you a few days ago? About you going to the noodles stall with me?"
Seungmin chuckles, "Oh yeah. But it's alright. She's your friend. I get that she's quite protective of you."
You smile, "Thanks for understanding. But , umm...Seungmin, she also might have implied that you kind of want to go out with me."
Seungmin’s soul almost leaves his body. Wendy could not have shut up about it, could she? Now you probably think Seungmin is some kind of creep trying to get into your pants.
"Hey, it's okay. Wendy always exaggerates everything and she wants me to get a boyfriend desperately so I understand if you didn't say anything of that sort to her. She's not very good at conveying messages." You say.
"But I did." Seungmin says, mustering all his courage, "I did say that. To her. And it's totally okay if you don't feel the same way about me. I really do. "
You almost feel like laughing.
You haven't been able to get him out of your mind for the past few days. And he thinks you don't like him?
The both of you had been busy with different classes and tests and projects. The few glances and greetings you shared with him during lunch would become the highlight of your day. And he thinks you wouldn't want to go out with him?
Impossible.
"I do, though. I'm open to the idea of going out with you."
Seungmin was not prepared for that answer. He was sure he'd get rejected, but here you were, looking all shy and sweet while confessing to liking him back?
"Um..so how about tomorrow night? There's a nice restaurant with live music and all. I could book us a table there."
You try to supress the grin that is trying to claw its way onto your face.
"Sounds great. See you then."
"Yeah, see you." He replies, heart hammering hard against his chest.
*
The night finally comes and you find Seungmin standing just outside of your dorm building.
He wears a black long coat and pants, paired with a high collared white shirt and a rose in his hands.
Your legs feel weak the moment your eyes meet. And the gravity of the situation finally dawns on you.
By tonight, Kim Seungmin might become your boyfriend. He's handsome, intelligent and funny, yet he decides to go out on a date with you?
Why? How did the two of you even end up here?
On the other hand, Seungmin feels like he'd been hit by the cupid's arrow. The only thing he can think about as you make your way towards him is how beautiful that long, pink dress looks on you and how he couldn't wait to make you his.
"For the beautiful lady." He says, offering you the red rose.
Shyly, you take the rose.
"Shall we?" He asks, gently taking your hand. Your hand feels warm.
"Yes." You reply, intertwining your fingers with his.
Oh, how beautiful it feels.
To be able to walk hand in hand with the man you admired so much. It feels natural. Like this is how the two of you were always meant to be. Maybe if Wendy had never told you about how Seungmin felt about you, you'd have never made the effort to ask him if he ever saw you in a non-platonic way.
But you're glad everything that happened happened. You're not someone who liked to live with what-ifs.
The restaurant he'd booked just adds to the beauty of this evening. The ambience is nice and a musician plays a beautiful melody on the piano, matching to the aesthetic of the place.
"I had booked a table for two by the name of Kim Seungmin. "
The waiter takes you to your place, a large candle adorning the center of the table.
You take your seats and the waiter takes your order and leaves.
Seungmin gets a hold of your hand again, intertwining your fingers.
"I can't believe we're actually out on a date." He chuckles, tracing his thumb across the back of your palm.
"I can't either. It's surreal." You say, "But I love it. I love being here with you."
Seungmin nods, "I love being anywhere, as long as you're with me."
"Didn't know Kim Seungmin was such a flirt, huh." You laugh, your cheeks heating up.
"Oh, you're in for a long ride, baby girl." He says, pressing his lips softly against your fingers.
Goosebumps.
Indeed, you were in for a long ride.
*
That night, the two of you walk back to the academy campus in silence.
A silence that is so calming and so comforting, it feels almost like a soothing hug from Seungmin.
When you two reach the main entrance of your dorm, Seungmin pulls you in for a hug again.
And just like last time, you melt into his arms.
He smells like smoke and mint and comfort.
"I had a great time, y/n." He whispers, pulling away but keeping your faces close.
He put strands of your hair behind your ears, so soft and tender.
"I did, too." You reply, your hands gently settling on his cheeks.
"Can I kiss you, y/n, please?" Seungmin asks, almost pleads. Like kissing you is what would keep him alive from that day on, like kissing you would fill his lungs with oxygen, like kissing you is the drug that he just cannot quit.
And you can only nod before he crashes his lips onto yours.
And yet again, he's gentle and tender and you sigh into his mouth when he pulls you closer.
He tastes like the tiramisu you had back in the restaurant, sweet and like strawberries.
"I'll see you tomorrow, then." He says when you pull back, breathing heavy. His eyes are shy with a sense of pride in them. He couldn't believe that the girl he'd been crushing on since last year was finally his. He couldn't believe his luck.
And neither could you.
"Yeah, see you!" You say and kiss his lips once again before jogging into the dorm building.
Seungmin goes to sleep that night dreaming of you and wakes up yearning for you in the morning.
And the cycle repeats every day, for the next 2 months.
The two of you had become inseparable, spending every possible moment with each other.
Whenever your schedules would not let you spend a lot of time together, the two of would make sure to have at least one meal together. That single meal would be the highlight of both of your days.
But the final exams loom over you like an ominous grey cloud.
"So, as you already know, our country neighbors multiple other countries, each with their own king and set of rules. I want you all to remember the names of all current kings and all new rules they had added to their country during their tenure. " the history teacher was going on and on, "Remember, you only have a month left for your finals. That final grade would determine the trajectory of your lives. Study well."
And he finishes off with that threat.
You were so busy jotting down notes during the class that you didn't notice Seungmin's absence from the day's class.
You'd been late this morning and didn't have time to even have breakfast before coming to class. Naturally, you'd assumed he'd been in the class.
"I don't see your boyfriend today, y/n." Wendy says after class, as if reading your mind.
"Yeah, I've been wondering the same thing." You say, absently, stuffing your books back in your bag.
Wendy tags along with her other friends for lunch and you excuse yourself, making your way towards Seungmin’s dorm building.
You'd been to his room multiple times now, yet everytime you're surprised by how neat it is. The books are neatly lined up on the shelf, the blankets are folded on the bed and his shoes are neatly stacked by the corner of his cupboard.
"Missed you at class today." You say to Seungmin, whose eyes widen with excitement when he sees you enter the room.
"Yeah, I spent nearly three hours solving a problem last night, I didn't wake up on time." He says, patting the space near him on the bed.
You sit beside him, "Can we study together at night? I need your help."
He agrees immediately, pecking your cheek.
"In fact, we could go to the library right now, what say?" He asks.
"Did you forget, Seungmin? We have a field trip today. In the second half. We're supposed to assemble at the playground after lunch."
Seungmin chuckles, "Yeah. A field trip to the old fort of Taru. Almost forgot about it."
Something he'd been dreading for weeks now.
When it was announced that the final year students would be going on a field trip, he was excited in the beginning.
But when he found out the location of the said trip, he was devastated. The old fort of Taru was his ancestral home. His grandfather and great-grand father and great-great grandfather fought multiple wars and ruled the country from that fort and when they passed away, Seungmin’s father had shifted his family to a new palace just outside the city, deciding to turn the old fort into a museum for tourists.
Seungmin didn't dislike the old fort. In fact, he loved visiting that place . Every year, he'd look forward to visiting the old fort to pay homage to his forefathers during special festivals that only the Royal family celebrated.
Yet, he was dreading today's trip. Because at the entrance of the new museum, stands a tall painting of him and his family, welcoming tourists to their ancestral home.
And if you see the painting, his façade is going to disappear and you'll know his identity and that would be the end of his beautiful daydream.
But when you pull him by his collar and kiss him with so much love, he cannot help but wish for this dream to last forever.
*
When the time finally comes to board the horse carriages that would take the students to the fort, Seungmin starts rethinking every single choice of his till date. He knew he was hurting you, he knew you would be devasted to find out who he really is. But he would die if had to lose you.
And his greatest fears come to life the moment he sets foot out of that damned carriage.
Wendy, with her hand on your shoulder, stands near the fort entrance. You'd reached the fort earlier since the girls were sent off earlier. And Seungmin wishes they hadn't been.
You look confused, sad, eyebrows furrowed in exasperation.
When Wendy sees Seungmin, her eyes widen. "She knows." She mouths at him.
Seungmin swallows the lump in his throat, "Y/n, I swear..I swear I didn't do it to deceive you. I really like you and hell, I even love you. Please. Hear me out."
You don't say a word and stare at him with a piercing gaze.
"Y/n, please. I don't know why you hate Royal families but I promise you, I'm not as bad as you think they are. You know me, y/n. I'm your Seungmin!" He insists, trying to hold your hand.
But you pull away.
"You lied to me. You're no better than them." You say, almost a whisper, "Forget about what happened between us. It's over now."
And with that, the love of Seungmin’s life walks out of his life, leaving him in shambles.
*
You'd not slept properly for a week now and even stopped attending any classes. You had buried yourself in your books, revising every single page of every single book for as many times as you could.
The only time you did step out of your room was during lunch and dinner and even then, you made sure to avoid him at all costs.
It had been dreadful, really. You thought it would be easier for you to move on and forget the past few months if you kept reminding yourself of Seungmin’s lies, but it only made you miss him more.
He lied, yes; but he also made you fall in love with him, which was worse. Falling in love and dreaming of a family with Seungmin was never on your cards, you were sure you'd always marry the person your parents would have chosen for you. But here you were. Heartbroken and infatuated; both by the same person.
And today is no different from other days, or so you thought.
At around half past midnight, you hear a knock on your door. Wendy had gone home for a week and would be back tomorrow, so you are genuinely curious as to who would knock on your door at such an ungodly hour.
When you open the door, you see those eyes again- the black orbs that you'd fallen so deeply for.
"Y/n, do you have a minute? Please?" Seungmin pleads when you freeze at the sight of him.
"No. I'm afraid not." You reply, your heart hammering against your chest. The tightness in your throat does not help.
"Please, y/n. I beg you, please."
Across the hallway, a few girls pop their heads out of their doors, wondering where the male voice is from.
Sensing no other option, you pull Seungmin inside your room reluctantly.
"Fine. Say what you have to and then leave." You mutter.
You're doing everything in your power to avoid any sort of eye contact with him because you know that is what your weakness is.
He sits at the edge of your bed, while you sit in your chair, across the room.
"Y/n, you don't have to take me back. But I want you to know that I never meant to deceive you. It is pure, genuine love that I feel for you. I know you hate me because I'm of royal blood but ignoring that part, you did like me, didn't you? Before you even knew about my family. I'm still that person. I may be a prince but that is not all I am."
Your throat gets tighter and your eyes mist over with tears.
"It doesn't matter. Our relationship started from a lie. And as a matter of fact, I cannot ignore that you're a prince. I had one condition for all suitors and I cannot withdraw it for anyone."
Seungmin swallows, his eyes bloodshot, "Can you at least tell me why you hate Royal blood so much? What did they ever do to you?"
You scoff, "You really wanna know, huh? Does it still matter now? Because I'm never going to get back together with you, Seungmin."
"I want to know."
And so you tell him.
"I hate royals so much because I am one of them. I am a princess. A forgotten one, but the blood of royalty still courses through my veins."
You were a little girl of around four when your now parents had adopted you, more or less. You didn't know who they were or why they were taking you away from your mother and father- the king and queen of Nabha- a country neighboring Taru. You only remember crying till your head hurt. You remember your birth mother crying, standing at the gates of the castle while her emerald crown fell at her feet.
When you turned twelve, your adoptive parents told you the truth of your adoption.
Your adoptive mother worked in the Royal Palace as a governess for royal children while your adoptive father worked as a royal architect. They'd both met in the palace and fell in love, eventually married. You were born to the queen and king a year later. Everything was going well.
But as all stories go, yours had a villain too. Your own birth father- the king. He was the worst kind of person. He was cruel, unjust, abusive and hated you because you were a girl. He had prayed to every God known to mankind for a son, only for him to receive a daughter in return. But he refused to crown you the heir. For the next few years, the king traveled to all neighboring countries , looking for some solution to his problem. And then he found it. An oracle that told him to disown his first born daughter, in order to be blessed with a son.
When the king arranged for your adoption, he didn't even bother consulting his wife. One morning, you were in her arms and the next, you were being taken away to Taru by your adoptive parents.
The Queen killed herself the next morning.
"And that was the day I promised two things to myself: First, I would never set foot back in that country. I made Taru, your country my home. Second, I would never marry a man of royal ancestry. Because I know, no matter what happens, I never want to be associated with royals ever again. Betrayal is all we'll receive at the end under the pretense of a greater good."
Seungmin is speechless at this point. He thought your dislike towards royal lineage was just a matter of preference but now, he understands you. Truly. He understands why you'd take his lies as a sign of betrayal.
"Y/n, I-"
"Save it. You have your answers and I have mine. Leave."
He walks out of the room without a word and the moment you lock the door behind him, he falls on his knees, crying. His heart aches for you. For everything you'd been through and for everything he put you through. He cries for you.
But little does he know, behind the closed door, you're on your knees too, sobbing into your hands. Every single fiber of your being begged you to stop him and you chose to ignore it.
You wonder if you'll ever be able to hate Seungmin like you wish you did.
*
Wendy is lecturing you again this morning, her face tense.
"Y/n, we're leaving this academy forever tomorrow. Can you please give yourself the closure you deserve? Just go and talk to Seungmin. You don't have to hate his guts forever. "
The final exam results are out today, which means that your parents would be coming to pick you up tomorrow evening. You'd be leaving this place and all the bitter-sweet memories associated with it forever. It hurts you a little.
But you had to be strong.
"I've got my closure, Wendy. I promise. Can we talk about something else now?"
Wendy sighs, "Y/n, if this is what you want, then I shall support you. But know that I genuinely will always believe that you and Seungmin were meant to be. Even if you get married and have ten kids with someone else!"
For the first time in months, you allow yourself to laugh at Wendy's stupid statements. She joins in too.
But her words stick with you throughout the day.
That night, after you're done packing most of your stuff, you crash on your bed, a thousand thoughts circling your head.
I genuinely will always believe that you and Seungmin were meant to be. Even if you get married and have kids with someone else!
Even the thought of marrying another man and having his kids nauseated you. Are you really ready to let go of Seungmin, forever?
You had spent a long time trying to forget Prince Kim Seungmin, his voice, his words, his touch, but had you really succeeded?
After today, you might never see him again. Are you ready to live with that regret forever?
The answer to all these questions is no. You are not someone to live wondering the what-ifs.
So you jump out of the bed, lantern in hand and run towards Seungmin’s dorm.
*
"Y/n, did you come here by mistake?" Is his first reaction when he opens his door, hair messy and eyes alert.
You shake your head, "No. I need to talk to you. Can I come in?"
He let's you in.
"So, what's up?" He asks, rubbing the back of his neck. He looks nervous. Like the first time he had taken you out for dinner to grandma's noodle shop.
"I've been thinking. About you and about us. And I.. I'm scared. I will not lie. I do not trust royals, but for some reason, I trust you. I know that there’s a thousand things that could go wrong but I still want to be with you. If you'll have me again"
Seungmin is dumbfounded. Literally. How does one even respond to things like these?
"Seungmin, say something!" You insist.
He forces the words out of his mouth, "I'm g-glad you feel that way."
You scowl, hands on your hips.
"I bare my heart open to you and this is all you have to say? Really? Listen, if you've found someone else in these few weeks then I understand, I really do but please at least-"
He kisses you. He kisses you so beautifully, it pains you to even think that you were willing to give up this. And for what? A horrible father who coincidentally was also of royal blood?
His tongue nudges at your tongue playfully, while his hands are cupping your face, thumbs circling your skin in comfort.
You'd never felt so much peace.
When you pull away, he gently presses his forehead onto yours, "I wouldn't dare find someone else. I assure you, whatever prejudices Nabha had, they do not exist here in Taru. I'm not like your birth father and I will never be. I promise. I will do everything in my power to convince you about it."
And for some reason, as usual, you believe him.
You kiss him again, knowing that if you could go back in time, you would not change a thing. You would let Seungmin easily win the duel of your hearts a thousand times over.
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sparklingchan · 1 month
Text
A Duel of Hearts || Kim Seungmin (Stray Kids)
Pairing: Reader(fem.) X Seungmin Word Count: 5k+ Warnings: Suggestive, strong language(ig), mention of suicide (not the main characters). Genre: Royal AU, Friends to Lovers, Dark Academia, Angst mixed with fluff. Description: Caught in a dilemma of affection, Kim Seungmin, a prince, finds himself drawn to you. There was but one obstacle to his pursuit —you've set a single condition for all potential suitors: no royal lineage. A/N: Hello everyone! Here's another installation of the SKZ Royal AU. Idk why but Seungmin has this Dark Academia kind of vibe so I tried to incorporate that here. Hope you guys like it! More to come<3 Do check out the other fics in the skz royal series. (The stories are not interrelated) Here's the link.
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You like to believe that your new dorm room is starting to grow on you.
It wasn't anything like your room back in your parents' house of course; but over the past twelve months, you'd renovated your dorm room enough to feel at home.
You'd replaced the light blue curtains with grey ones, swapped the single candle stand with a lantern to help you study better at night, put on a white table cloth and the list goes on.
A knock on your door pulls your attention.
It must be Wendy, you think to yourself, walking toward the door.
Correction: your only friend Wendy.
"Gosh, I really hate this academy, y/n." She walks in complaining, "I cannot believe they gave me a B in geography. I love geography. I cannot believe they'd ruin my overall grade like that."
"What happened?" You ask, closing the door behind her.
"I don't know! I will deal with this later, anyway," she says, fishing out a note from the pocket of her blazer. "I'm here to discuss a more pressing matter."
"What's that?"
"Of course, it's one of your lovers, y/n. I have two more lover letters in my backpack. Do you need them?"
You half chuckle and half sigh, taking the note from her and tearing it into bits.
"Ouch." Wendy says, staring at you, "Tell me y/n, it's been over a year since you joined the academy. All the boys here would die to even see you across the hallway yet you've kept the door to your heart locked. Why?"
"I am not not open to having a relationship. I just dislike how most of these men who pursue me are of royal blood. And if there's anything I despise most is royalty. That letter you gave me right now? It was from the Duke's son. It's his third letter in a row. That boy just doesn't know when to stop." You press your hand to your forehead, stressed.
Wendy nods her head, "Yeah, he is an annoying brat, I'll give you that, but y/n, I really don't understand your dislike towards royalty? Any girl out there would love to be pursued by royal suitors, including myself."
You smile in response, "It's a secret."
As always, Wendy just chuckles and doesn't push you to answer further because really, you don't know what you'll do if you ever have to explain yourself. It's a secret you rarely even discuss with yourself.
"Come on, we'll be late for our afternoon class." You say and walk towards the door, already tired of the day ahead of you.
*
“But Professor, do you not think that the first king of Taru was a horrible person morally? I mean, he did kill all of his wives when they failed to birth a son.”
If there is anyone in this academy who you think hates you to the core is your History Professor. The amount of times you’d ask him a question and he’d reply very vaguely, never answering to the point was insane. So naturally, you had developed a habit of asking him odd questions just to spite him.
Your Professor looks at you, almost angrily, and answers, “We are no one to judge a historical figure. Miss y/n.”
“But sir, you are portraying him as a role model to the class. Don’t you think that’s wrong? As you said, we are no one to judge him.”
Your professor hisses through gritted teeth and turns towards the board, not bothering to answer you. A subtle smile finds your lips.
“So, class as I was saying. The first King of this country- Taru- built the longest bridge in -”
“Excuse me, sir?” A hand shoots up from among the students followed by a voice, “May I answer Miss y/n’s question please?”
Your professor rubs his temple and sighs, nodding, “Go ahead, Mister Seungmin.”
You turn your head up to look at the owner of the voice, and much to your surprise, it is Kim Seungmin. He’s one of the quieter kids in the class but you’ve worked on a few projects together so you know that there’s more depth to him than just being the quiet kid by the window seat.
“Y/n, I think we could still look up to the King as a leader. Yes, he was ruthless to his wives but we don’t need to look up to him as a husband. He was, on the other hand, a great leader who led his country to become one of the greatest in the world, second to none.”
“Well, does that answer your question?” The professor asks and you nod, bowing towards Seungmin. He bows back.
The professor teaches the class for an hour more, letting you guys dismiss after his daily warning of, “You'll be going to universities next year so do work hard this year,”
You gather all your things and walk out of the class, stomach growling, almost begging you to make your way to the dining area for lunch.
For lunch, the menu rarely changes except on holidays.
And in all honesty, you’re tired of having chicken stew with rice everyday since you stepped foot in this academy, but the other options are extremely limited so you join the line of hungry and tired students, complaining about how difficult this year has been.
Once you have your plate of rice and stew, you seat on one of the empty benches and begin to gobble up the rice like there’s no tomorrow.
“Um, y/n? Mind if I join you?”
“Seungmin?” you ask, almost surprised, “Have a seat, please.”
Seungmin mutters a small ‘thanks’ and claims the seat in front of you, placing his backpack on the sides.
“So what have you been up to?” he asks to break the ice. It seems like you’re more focused on the rice in front of you than him.
“Eating?” you chuckle, “What’s up with you? How’s your preparation for University?”
Seungmin, licks his bottom lip, deep in thought.
How was his preparation for university going, really? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t even remember the last time he opened his books after school.
In fact, lately, his mind has been occupied with something entirely different-you.
You, who acts so indifferent to the rest of the people yet helped Seungmin when he was almost failing a chemistry project evaluation.
You, who says she has no friends yet packs extra food from home for Wendy.
You, who says she is having a hard time adjusting to the academy yet she’s his favorite person here.
How could you not be on his mind?
“Eh, it’s okay. I guess.” Seungmin scratches the back of his head. “How’s yours?”
“Not really well, to be honest . If only that duke��s son would stop sending me those stupid letters, my life would be a lot more peaceful.” you say and it’s true that those letter have been nothing short of a nuisance since you came back from the semester break. You respect his feelings, but you’re not obligated to like him back. Hell, you’ve never even spoken to the man. “He’s so persistent, it scares me, really.”
Seungmin could feel his anger building up. Of course he knows you have quite a few admirers. Even some of his friends are in that crowd. But Seungmin likes to think he always had the upper hand.
Yet he feels annoyed, offended at the thought that someone was pursuing you to the point of fear.
“He might be a duke’s son but he isn’t behaving like one.” Seungmin comments.
“Well, it doesn’t matter. All of these aristocrats and royals believe that the world is at their disposal. They could just command it and everything would go according to them. It’s ridiculous. I’m so glad you’re not from a royal line or else we wouldn’t have been having this conversation.” you say and Seungmin’s world stands still.
You think he’s not from a royal family?
You didn’t know who he really was?
He almost wants to tell you the truth, that he, in fact, is the descendant of the very king you were talking about in History today. But he chooses to remain silent. He’s enjoying your company way too much to ruin it in one day.
“Yeah, thank god for that.” Prince Seungmin replies.
*
The next few days pass by in the blink of an eye and the academic pressure gets worse.
"Wendy, could I borrow your lantern? Mine is broken, I think." You ask Wendy one afternoon.
The sun brightens up the inside of Wendy's room.
"Yeah, sure." She passes you her lantern, "I have a spare one. Going to the library?"
You nod.
There's no better place to study than the library. Especially on such a warm and cozy afternoon when everyone just wants to take a nap.
"I'll see you at dinner then?"
"Sure thing."
You walk the corridors, fiddling with your pockets, making sure you'd taken all your stationary. It would be a hassle to walk back to your room again.
As soon as you enter the library, the sounds of the world as if disappear. Not even the tapping of pens could be heard without focusing hard.
You find a suitable seat for yourself by the window and settle down there.
The library feels colder than your room and you're grateful for it. At least you wouldn't be sleepy now.
"Someone's working hard, I see." A teasing voice whispers from behind, "May I join you?"
Seungmin’s voice, much to your surprise, brings a smile to your face.
"Sure." You say, shy like a kid in kindergarten.
He claims the seat across you, setting his books and stationary on the table.
And for the next three hours, the only sound you hear from his side is that of his breathing. Even and steady.
He's busy reading a book and his eyes are focused on the pages, never once wavering anywhere else.
He's quite sincere, you realize.
The sun sets and the students light up their lanterns and immediately go back to studying. Seungmin glances at you for a second, his lips curving into a soft smile. You smile back, albeit shyly.
Hours pass by and you know it's almost time for dinner because your stomach is growling. Louder than ever.
"Y/n," Seungmin speaks to you, putting his book down, "Want to have some warm Noodles? There's a new stall in town which sells delicious noodles."
You contemplate for a second before agreeing with a smile.
"Noodles sound amazing right now."
The both of you pick up your lanterns and walk out the main gate into the streets of the town.
While the town is busy and bustling with activities during the day, at nightfall the town comes to a standstill. Something you've always liked.
"It's not in the market square, I presume." You say as Seungmin navigates through the lanes of the market.
"No," He replies, "But it is quite near to the market."
After a five minute walk from the market square, you finally see an old bamboo hut in the distance, dim and quiet.
But the moment Seungmin and you are seated on one of the wooden benches, you're as if in a trance. The aroma of herbs and spices and chicken broth is nothing like you'd ever felt before.
"Grandma, we'll have two bowls of noodles with a side of Kimchi, please." Seungmin says.
"Sure thing, son." The woman replies with a twinkle in her eyes.
"You're a regular here. " You say to Seungmin, looking around the interiors of the stall. "It's cozy and the noodles smell amazing already."
"Oh, y/n, wait till you taste them. It'll be like nothing you'd ever had before."
And true to his words, the moment you eat those noodles, flavors burst in your mouth.
It is a perfect blend of sweet and salty, but the black pepper adds the perfect spice to the combination of flavors.
"Seungmin, this is amazing!" You say, taking a second bite. "We have to come back here again!"
He can only chuckle at your reaction. If you'd say the word, he'd bring you to this place everyday. Without fail.
The two of you eat quietly, only sharing a glance of amazement once in a while.
"I'll pay, y/n." Seungmin offers once you guys are done eating, bellies full.
"No! Let me pay." You get up immediately and walk up to the old lady.
Seungmin can only shake his head at you.
"How much will that be, grandma?" You ask, taking out your purse.
"Oh, its on the house today. " the lady says, much to your surprise, "Master Seungmin brought his girlfriend out for a date at our place. I couldn't take money from you today."
Seungmin and you stare at each other, wide eyed and speechless and hearts racing.
"Grandma! She's not my girlfriend! We're classmates." Seungmin says, the tip of his ears bright red.
You nod, shyly, "There's nothing of that sort going on between us!"
Grandma smiles as she pours soup into a bowl, "Well, not yet maybe. I have an eye for things like that, you see."
When you exit the hut, Seungmin remains quite, his lips pursed in a line. It's truly endearing to see him flustered like that.
"Well, that was awkward." You say, trying to lighten up the mood.
Seungmin nods, rubbing the back of his head, "Sorry about that. I don't know why she'd say that."
"No, no, it's okay. She's an adorable woman." You say.
The rest of the walk passes by in silence.
For some reason, you always find yourself in these silent moments with Seungmin. But you like the silence. It's calming, not uncomfortable.
"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" He asks as the two of you reach the entrance of your dorm building.
You nod. You're about to turn around when he pulls you in for a gentle embrace.
Your heart stops. Your breathing stops. The earth stops.
Without even meaning to, you find yourself melting into the embrace.
The next second, Seungmin pulls back and walks towards his dorm, not even saying a word.
And you're standing there, mouth hanging open.
What are these nervous sensations Seungmin is making you feel?
*
"So why were you not at dinner yesterday?" Wendy asks the next morning, an eyebrow raised in suspicion, "Were you with a boy?"
You try to calm the heat spreading to your cheeks, "Kind of. But it wasn't anything like what you think. I swear. We were studying together and then he asked if I wanted to try a new food stall in town. That's all."
And then he hugged you Goodnight. And you haven't been able to forget the way his body felt against yours.
"And who exactly is 'we'?" Wendy asks again, the tone of suspiciousness still present in her words.
"Seungmin and I." You say.
Wendy stares at you, flabbergasted.
Seungmin and you?
You went out on a supposed platonic date with a Prince?
"Y/n, Seungmin is-" Wendy's words are cut off by the ringing of the hourly bell, indicating that your classes are about to begin.
"Wendy, I'll tell you all about it. Promise. See you later." You say and disappear into the crowd of hurrying students but Wendy doesn't move.
Wendy has a different plan in her mind. Something she considers more important than attending boring lectures.
*
"Kim Seungmin, can I see you for a second?" Wendy drags Seungmin by his arm the moment he steps out of his dorm building.
He stares at her, confused.
He didn't have a class yet; he was just stepping out to get some breakfast. Where was she dragging him early in the morning?
"What's wrong?" He asks.
Wendy and him have never even talked with each other before so why this sudden interest?
Wendy stands in front of him, eyes full of doubt. Her hands rest on her hips.
"Are you trying to mess with y/n?" She asks flatly.
Seungmin is taken aback, "What? No! Of course not!"
Why would she even think that? Seungmin almost feels angry.
"Then why are you hanging out with her late at night and why is she oblivious to you being of royal blood?"
Seungmin sighs, "Okay, Wendy, listen. I'm not trying to mess with her or anything. But its true I haven't told her about my family yet. And I will tell her. But I just want her to know me for me. Before she starts to dislike me just because I'm of royal blood. Do you think I'm wrong?"
Wendy thinks for a second before replying, "Well, you don't mean any harm. But...I think you should tell her about yourself. I mean if you're trying to get her to like you back, might as well be honest about your life."
Seungmin’s eyes are wide with shock. How did she even know about Seungmin’s crush on you? Did one of his friends spread the rumor? Did she try to spy on him?
"Hey, don't look so surprised, your majesty." sarcasm drips from her words, "Everyone here knows you like her. We have eyes, you know?"
Seungmin doesn't reply, embarrassed. Of course it is hot gossip when a prince falls in love, isn't it?
People have written sagas and books and poems about it. What is a little academy gossip compared to that?
*
You find out Seungmin hanging out with a female friend the a few days later during lunch, and you try to shake off an uncomfortable feeling.
"Seungmin, could I speak to you for a second?"
The girl looks at you, from head to toe and nods her head. "Hey, she's quite pretty, Seungmin."
Seungmin sighs, "Oh, shut up, Sojong. Don't you have a class?"
His ears are red again, like how they were back at the noodles shop.
"I'm going now anyways. Bye sweethearts!" The girl walks off with a smile, and you're left confused.
"Don't mind her. She's my cousin. An idiot cousin, if I may add."
It feels as if a weight is lifted off of your chest. Your lips automatically curve into a smile.
"I didn't know you had a cousin in the academy."
"Yeah, well. Now you do. So what's going on?" He replies.
"Um.. did Wendy say something to you a few days ago? About you going to the noodles stall with me?"
Seungmin chuckles, "Oh yeah. But it's alright. She's your friend. I get that she's quite protective of you."
You smile, "Thanks for understanding. But , umm...Seungmin, she also might have implied that you kind of want to go out with me."
Seungmin’s soul almost leaves his body. Wendy could not have shut up about it, could she? Now you probably think Seungmin is some kind of creep trying to get into your pants.
"Hey, it's okay. Wendy always exaggerates everything and she wants me to get a boyfriend desperately so I understand if you didn't say anything of that sort to her. She's not very good at conveying messages." You say.
"But I did." Seungmin says, mustering all his courage, "I did say that. To her. And it's totally okay if you don't feel the same way about me. I really do. "
You almost feel like laughing.
You haven't been able to get him out of your mind for the past few days. And he thinks you don't like him?
The both of you had been busy with different classes and tests and projects. The few glances and greetings you shared with him during lunch would become the highlight of your day. And he thinks you wouldn't want to go out with him?
Impossible.
"I do, though. I'm open to the idea of going out with you."
Seungmin was not prepared for that answer. He was sure he'd get rejected, but here you were, looking all shy and sweet while confessing to liking him back?
"Um..so how about tomorrow night? There's a nice restaurant with live music and all. I could book us a table there."
You try to supress the grin that is trying to claw its way onto your face.
"Sounds great. See you then."
"Yeah, see you." He replies, heart hammering hard against his chest.
*
The night finally comes and you find Seungmin standing just outside of your dorm building.
He wears a black long coat and pants, paired with a high collared white shirt and a rose in his hands.
Your legs feel weak the moment your eyes meet. And the gravity of the situation finally dawns on you.
By tonight, Kim Seungmin might become your boyfriend. He's handsome, intelligent and funny, yet he decides to go out on a date with you?
Why? How did the two of you even end up here?
On the other hand, Seungmin feels like he'd been hit by the cupid's arrow. The only thing he can think about as you make your way towards him is how beautiful that long, pink dress looks on you and how he couldn't wait to make you his.
"For the beautiful lady." He says, offering you the red rose.
Shyly, you take the rose.
"Shall we?" He asks, gently taking your hand. Your hand feels warm.
"Yes." You reply, intertwining your fingers with his.
Oh, how beautiful it feels.
To be able to walk hand in hand with the man you admired so much. It feels natural. Like this is how the two of you were always meant to be. Maybe if Wendy had never told you about how Seungmin felt about you, you'd have never made the effort to ask him if he ever saw you in a non-platonic way.
But you're glad everything that happened happened. You're not someone who liked to live with what-ifs.
The restaurant he'd booked just adds to the beauty of this evening. The ambience is nice and a musician plays a beautiful melody on the piano, matching to the aesthetic of the place.
"I had booked a table for two by the name of Kim Seungmin. "
The waiter takes you to your place, a large candle adorning the center of the table.
You take your seats and the waiter takes your order and leaves.
Seungmin gets a hold of your hand again, intertwining your fingers.
"I can't believe we're actually out on a date." He chuckles, tracing his thumb across the back of your palm.
"I can't either. It's surreal." You say, "But I love it. I love being here with you."
Seungmin nods, "I love being anywhere, as long as you're with me."
"Didn't know Kim Seungmin was such a flirt, huh." You laugh, your cheeks heating up.
"Oh, you're in for a long ride, baby girl." He says, pressing his lips softly against your fingers.
Goosebumps.
Indeed, you were in for a long ride.
*
That night, the two of you walk back to the academy campus in silence.
A silence that is so calming and so comforting, it feels almost like a soothing hug from Seungmin.
When you two reach the main entrance of your dorm, Seungmin pulls you in for a hug again.
And just like last time, you melt into his arms.
He smells like smoke and mint and comfort.
"I had a great time, y/n." He whispers, pulling away but keeping your faces close.
He put strands of your hair behind your ears, so soft and tender.
"I did, too." You reply, your hands gently settling on his cheeks.
"Can I kiss you, y/n, please?" Seungmin asks, almost pleads. Like kissing you is what would keep him alive from that day on, like kissing you would fill his lungs with oxygen, like kissing you is the drug that he just cannot quit.
And you can only nod before he crashes his lips onto yours.
And yet again, he's gentle and tender and you sigh into his mouth when he pulls you closer.
He tastes like the tiramisu you had back in the restaurant, sweet and like strawberries.
"I'll see you tomorrow, then." He says when you pull back, breathing heavy. His eyes are shy with a sense of pride in them. He couldn't believe that the girl he'd been crushing on since last year was finally his. He couldn't believe his luck.
And neither could you.
"Yeah, see you!" You say and kiss his lips once again before jogging into the dorm building.
Seungmin goes to sleep that night dreaming of you and wakes up yearning for you in the morning.
And the cycle repeats every day, for the next 2 months.
The two of you had become inseparable, spending every possible moment with each other.
Whenever your schedules would not let you spend a lot of time together, the two of would make sure to have at least one meal together. That single meal would be the highlight of both of your days.
But the final exams loom over you like an ominous grey cloud.
"So, as you already know, our country neighbors multiple other countries, each with their own king and set of rules. I want you all to remember the names of all current kings and all new rules they had added to their country during their tenure. " the history teacher was going on and on, "Remember, you only have a month left for your finals. That final grade would determine the trajectory of your lives. Study well."
And he finishes off with that threat.
You were so busy jotting down notes during the class that you didn't notice Seungmin's absence from the day's class.
You'd been late this morning and didn't have time to even have breakfast before coming to class. Naturally, you'd assumed he'd been in the class.
"I don't see your boyfriend today, y/n." Wendy says after class, as if reading your mind.
"Yeah, I've been wondering the same thing." You say, absently, stuffing your books back in your bag.
Wendy tags along with her other friends for lunch and you excuse yourself, making your way towards Seungmin’s dorm building.
You'd been to his room multiple times now, yet everytime you're surprised by how neat it is. The books are neatly lined up on the shelf, the blankets are folded on the bed and his shoes are neatly stacked by the corner of his cupboard.
"Missed you at class today." You say to Seungmin, whose eyes widen with excitement when he sees you enter the room.
"Yeah, I spent nearly three hours solving a problem last night, I didn't wake up on time." He says, patting the space near him on the bed.
You sit beside him, "Can we study together at night? I need your help."
He agrees immediately, pecking your cheek.
"In fact, we could go to the library right now, what say?" He asks.
"Did you forget, Seungmin? We have a field trip today. In the second half. We're supposed to assemble at the playground after lunch."
Seungmin chuckles, "Yeah. A field trip to the old fort of Taru. Almost forgot about it."
Something he'd been dreading for weeks now.
When it was announced that the final year students would be going on a field trip, he was excited in the beginning.
But when he found out the location of the said trip, he was devastated. The old fort of Taru was his ancestral home. His grandfather and great-grand father and great-great grandfather fought multiple wars and ruled the country from that fort and when they passed away, Seungmin’s father had shifted his family to a new palace just outside the city, deciding to turn the old fort into a museum for tourists.
Seungmin didn't dislike the old fort. In fact, he loved visiting that place . Every year, he'd look forward to visiting the old fort to pay homage to his forefathers during special festivals that only the Royal family celebrated.
Yet, he was dreading today's trip. Because at the entrance of the new museum, stands a tall painting of him and his family, welcoming tourists to their ancestral home.
And if you see the painting, his façade is going to disappear and you'll know his identity and that would be the end of his beautiful daydream.
But when you pull him by his collar and kiss him with so much love, he cannot help but wish for this dream to last forever.
*
When the time finally comes to board the horse carriages that would take the students to the fort, Seungmin starts rethinking every single choice of his till date. He knew he was hurting you, he knew you would be devasted to find out who he really is. But he would die if had to lose you.
And his greatest fears come to life the moment he sets foot out of that damned carriage.
Wendy, with her hand on your shoulder, stands near the fort entrance. You'd reached the fort earlier since the girls were sent off earlier. And Seungmin wishes they hadn't been.
You look confused, sad, eyebrows furrowed in exasperation.
When Wendy sees Seungmin, her eyes widen. "She knows." She mouths at him.
Seungmin swallows the lump in his throat, "Y/n, I swear..I swear I didn't do it to deceive you. I really like you and hell, I even love you. Please. Hear me out."
You don't say a word and stare at him with a piercing gaze.
"Y/n, please. I don't know why you hate Royal families but I promise you, I'm not as bad as you think they are. You know me, y/n. I'm your Seungmin!" He insists, trying to hold your hand.
But you pull away.
"You lied to me. You're no better than them." You say, almost a whisper, "Forget about what happened between us. It's over now."
And with that, the love of Seungmin’s life walks out of his life, leaving him in shambles.
*
You'd not slept properly for a week now and even stopped attending any classes. You had buried yourself in your books, revising every single page of every single book for as many times as you could.
The only time you did step out of your room was during lunch and dinner and even then, you made sure to avoid him at all costs.
It had been dreadful, really. You thought it would be easier for you to move on and forget the past few months if you kept reminding yourself of Seungmin’s lies, but it only made you miss him more.
He lied, yes; but he also made you fall in love with him, which was worse. Falling in love and dreaming of a family with Seungmin was never on your cards, you were sure you'd always marry the person your parents would have chosen for you. But here you were. Heartbroken and infatuated; both by the same person.
And today is no different from other days, or so you thought.
At around half past midnight, you hear a knock on your door. Wendy had gone home for a week and would be back tomorrow, so you are genuinely curious as to who would knock on your door at such an ungodly hour.
When you open the door, you see those eyes again- the black orbs that you'd fallen so deeply for.
"Y/n, do you have a minute? Please?" Seungmin pleads when you freeze at the sight of him.
"No. I'm afraid not." You reply, your heart hammering against your chest. The tightness in your throat does not help.
"Please, y/n. I beg you, please."
Across the hallway, a few girls pop their heads out of their doors, wondering where the male voice is from.
Sensing no other option, you pull Seungmin inside your room reluctantly.
"Fine. Say what you have to and then leave." You mutter.
You're doing everything in your power to avoid any sort of eye contact with him because you know that is what your weakness is.
He sits at the edge of your bed, while you sit in your chair, across the room.
"Y/n, you don't have to take me back. But I want you to know that I never meant to deceive you. It is pure, genuine love that I feel for you. I know you hate me because I'm of royal blood but ignoring that part, you did like me, didn't you? Before you even knew about my family. I'm still that person. I may be a prince but that is not all I am."
Your throat gets tighter and your eyes mist over with tears.
"It doesn't matter. Our relationship started from a lie. And as a matter of fact, I cannot ignore that you're a prince. I had one condition for all suitors and I cannot withdraw it for anyone."
Seungmin swallows, his eyes bloodshot, "Can you at least tell me why you hate Royal blood so much? What did they ever do to you?"
You scoff, "You really wanna know, huh? Does it still matter now? Because I'm never going to get back together with you, Seungmin."
"I want to know."
And so you tell him.
"I hate royals so much because I am one of them. I am a princess. A forgotten one, but the blood of royalty still courses through my veins."
You were a little girl of around four when your now parents had adopted you, more or less. You didn't know who they were or why they were taking you away from your mother and father- the king and queen of Nabha- a country neighboring Taru. You only remember crying till your head hurt. You remember your birth mother crying, standing at the gates of the castle while her emerald crown fell at her feet.
When you turned twelve, your adoptive parents told you the truth of your adoption.
Your adoptive mother worked in the Royal Palace as a governess for royal children while your adoptive father worked as a royal architect. They'd both met in the palace and fell in love, eventually married. You were born to the queen and king a year later. Everything was going well.
But as all stories go, yours had a villain too. Your own birth father- the king. He was the worst kind of person. He was cruel, unjust, abusive and hated you because you were a girl. He had prayed to every God known to mankind for a son, only for him to receive a daughter in return. But he refused to crown you the heir. For the next few years, the king traveled to all neighboring countries , looking for some solution to his problem. And then he found it. An oracle that told him to disown his first born daughter, in order to be blessed with a son.
When the king arranged for your adoption, he didn't even bother consulting his wife. One morning, you were in her arms and the next, you were being taken away to Taru by your adoptive parents.
The Queen killed herself the next morning.
"And that was the day I promised two things to myself: First, I would never set foot back in that country. I made Taru, your country my home. Second, I would never marry a man of royal ancestry. Because I know, no matter what happens, I never want to be associated with royals ever again. Betrayal is all we'll receive at the end under the pretense of a greater good."
Seungmin is speechless at this point. He thought your dislike towards royal lineage was just a matter of preference but now, he understands you. Truly. He understands why you'd take his lies as a sign of betrayal.
"Y/n, I-"
"Save it. You have your answers and I have mine. Leave."
He walks out of the room without a word and the moment you lock the door behind him, he falls on his knees, crying. His heart aches for you. For everything you'd been through and for everything he put you through. He cries for you.
But little does he know, behind the closed door, you're on your knees too, sobbing into your hands. Every single fiber of your being begged you to stop him and you chose to ignore it.
You wonder if you'll ever be able to hate Seungmin like you wish you did.
*
Wendy is lecturing you again this morning, her face tense.
"Y/n, we're leaving this academy forever tomorrow. Can you please give yourself the closure you deserve? Just go and talk to Seungmin. You don't have to hate his guts forever. "
The final exam results are out today, which means that your parents would be coming to pick you up tomorrow evening. You'd be leaving this place and all the bitter-sweet memories associated with it forever. It hurts you a little.
But you had to be strong.
"I've got my closure, Wendy. I promise. Can we talk about something else now?"
Wendy sighs, "Y/n, if this is what you want, then I shall support you. But know that I genuinely will always believe that you and Seungmin were meant to be. Even if you get married and have ten kids with someone else!"
For the first time in months, you allow yourself to laugh at Wendy's stupid statements. She joins in too.
But her words stick with you throughout the day.
That night, after you're done packing most of your stuff, you crash on your bed, a thousand thoughts circling your head.
I genuinely will always believe that you and Seungmin were meant to be. Even if you get married and have kids with someone else!
Even the thought of marrying another man and having his kids nauseated you. Are you really ready to let go of Seungmin, forever?
You had spent a long time trying to forget Prince Kim Seungmin, his voice, his words, his touch, but had you really succeeded?
After today, you might never see him again. Are you ready to live with that regret forever?
The answer to all these questions is no. You are not someone to live wondering the what-ifs.
So you jump out of the bed, lantern in hand and run towards Seungmin’s dorm.
*
"Y/n, did you come here by mistake?" Is his first reaction when he opens his door, hair messy and eyes alert.
You shake your head, "No. I need to talk to you. Can I come in?"
He let's you in.
"So, what's up?" He asks, rubbing the back of his neck. He looks nervous. Like the first time he had taken you out for dinner to grandma's noodle shop.
"I've been thinking. About you and about us. And I.. I'm scared. I will not lie. I do not trust royals, but for some reason, I trust you. I know that there’s a thousand things that could go wrong but I still want to be with you. If you'll have me again"
Seungmin is dumbfounded. Literally. How does one even respond to things like these?
"Seungmin, say something!" You insist.
He forces the words out of his mouth, "I'm g-glad you feel that way."
You scowl, hands on your hips.
"I bare my heart open to you and this is all you have to say? Really? Listen, if you've found someone else in these few weeks then I understand, I really do but please at least-"
He kisses you. He kisses you so beautifully, it pains you to even think that you were willing to give up this. And for what? A horrible father who coincidentally was also of royal blood?
His tongue nudges at your tongue playfully, while his hands are cupping your face, thumbs circling your skin in comfort.
You'd never felt so much peace.
When you pull away, he gently presses his forehead onto yours, "I wouldn't dare find someone else. I assure you, whatever prejudices Nabha had, they do not exist here in Taru. I'm not like your birth father and I will never be. I promise. I will do everything in my power to convince you about it."
And for some reason, as usual, you believe him.
You kiss him again, knowing that if you could go back in time, you would not change a thing. You would let Seungmin easily win the duel of your hearts a thousand times over.
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sparklingchan · 2 months
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A Duel of Hearts || Kim Seungmin (Stray Kids)
Pairing: Reader(fem.) X Seungmin Word Count: 5k+ Warnings: Suggestive, strong language(ig), mention of suicide (not the main characters). Genre: Royal AU, Friends to Lovers, Dark Academia, Angst mixed with fluff. Description: Caught in a dilemma of affection, Kim Seungmin, a prince, finds himself drawn to you. There was but one obstacle to his pursuit —you've set a single condition for all potential suitors: no royal lineage. A/N: Hello everyone! Here's another installation of the SKZ Royal AU. Idk why but Seungmin has this Dark Academia kind of vibe so I tried to incorporate that here. Hope you guys like it! More to come<3 Do check out the other fics in the skz royal series. (The stories are not interrelated) Here's the link.
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You like to believe that your new dorm room is starting to grow on you.
It wasn't anything like your room back in your parents' house of course; but over the past twelve months, you'd renovated your dorm room enough to feel at home.
You'd replaced the light blue curtains with grey ones, swapped the single candle stand with a lantern to help you study better at night, put on a white table cloth and the list goes on.
A knock on your door pulls your attention.
It must be Wendy, you think to yourself, walking toward the door.
Correction: your only friend Wendy.
"Gosh, I really hate this academy, y/n." She walks in complaining, "I cannot believe they gave me a B in geography. I love geography. I cannot believe they'd ruin my overall grade like that."
"What happened?" You ask, closing the door behind her.
"I don't know! I will deal with this later, anyway," she says, fishing out a note from the pocket of her blazer. "I'm here to discuss a more pressing matter."
"What's that?"
"Of course, it's one of your lovers, y/n. I have two more lover letters in my backpack. Do you need them?"
You half chuckle and half sigh, taking the note from her and tearing it into bits.
"Ouch." Wendy says, staring at you, "Tell me y/n, it's been over a year since you joined the academy. All the boys here would die to even see you across the hallway yet you've kept the door to your heart locked. Why?"
"I am not not open to having a relationship. I just dislike how most of these men who pursue me are of royal blood. And if there's anything I despise most is royalty. That letter you gave me right now? It was from the Duke's son. It's his third letter in a row. That boy just doesn't know when to stop." You press your hand to your forehead, stressed.
Wendy nods her head, "Yeah, he is an annoying brat, I'll give you that, but y/n, I really don't understand your dislike towards royalty? Any girl out there would love to be pursued by royal suitors, including myself."
You smile in response, "It's a secret."
As always, Wendy just chuckles and doesn't push you to answer further because really, you don't know what you'll do if you ever have to explain yourself. It's a secret you rarely even discuss with yourself.
"Come on, we'll be late for our afternoon class." You say and walk towards the door, already tired of the day ahead of you.
*
“But Professor, do you not think that the first king of Taru was a horrible person morally? I mean, he did kill all of his wives when they failed to birth a son.”
If there is anyone in this academy who you think hates you to the core is your History Professor. The amount of times you’d ask him a question and he’d reply very vaguely, never answering to the point was insane. So naturally, you had developed a habit of asking him odd questions just to spite him.
Your Professor looks at you, almost angrily, and answers, “We are no one to judge a historical figure. Miss y/n.”
“But sir, you are portraying him as a role model to the class. Don’t you think that’s wrong? As you said, we are no one to judge him.”
Your professor hisses through gritted teeth and turns towards the board, not bothering to answer you. A subtle smile finds your lips.
“So, class as I was saying. The first King of this country- Taru- built the longest bridge in -”
“Excuse me, sir?” A hand shoots up from among the students followed by a voice, “May I answer Miss y/n’s question please?”
Your professor rubs his temple and sighs, nodding, “Go ahead, Mister Seungmin.”
You turn your head up to look at the owner of the voice, and much to your surprise, it is Kim Seungmin. He’s one of the quieter kids in the class but you’ve worked on a few projects together so you know that there’s more depth to him than just being the quiet kid by the window seat.
“Y/n, I think we could still look up to the King as a leader. Yes, he was ruthless to his wives but we don’t need to look up to him as a husband. He was, on the other hand, a great leader who led his country to become one of the greatest in the world, second to none.”
“Well, does that answer your question?” The professor asks and you nod, bowing towards Seungmin. He bows back.
The professor teaches the class for an hour more, letting you guys dismiss after his daily warning of, “You'll be going to universities next year so do work hard this year,”
You gather all your things and walk out of the class, stomach growling, almost begging you to make your way to the dining area for lunch.
For lunch, the menu rarely changes except on holidays.
And in all honesty, you’re tired of having chicken stew with rice everyday since you stepped foot in this academy, but the other options are extremely limited so you join the line of hungry and tired students, complaining about how difficult this year has been.
Once you have your plate of rice and stew, you seat on one of the empty benches and begin to gobble up the rice like there’s no tomorrow.
“Um, y/n? Mind if I join you?”
“Seungmin?” you ask, almost surprised, “Have a seat, please.”
Seungmin mutters a small ‘thanks’ and claims the seat in front of you, placing his backpack on the sides.
“So what have you been up to?” he asks to break the ice. It seems like you’re more focused on the rice in front of you than him.
“Eating?” you chuckle, “What’s up with you? How’s your preparation for University?”
Seungmin, licks his bottom lip, deep in thought.
How was his preparation for university going, really? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t even remember the last time he opened his books after school.
In fact, lately, his mind has been occupied with something entirely different-you.
You, who acts so indifferent to the rest of the people yet helped Seungmin when he was almost failing a chemistry project evaluation.
You, who says she has no friends yet packs extra food from home for Wendy.
You, who says she is having a hard time adjusting to the academy yet she’s his favorite person here.
How could you not be on his mind?
“Eh, it’s okay. I guess.” Seungmin scratches the back of his head. “How’s yours?”
“Not really well, to be honest . If only that duke’s son would stop sending me those stupid letters, my life would be a lot more peaceful.” you say and it’s true that those letter have been nothing short of a nuisance since you came back from the semester break. You respect his feelings, but you’re not obligated to like him back. Hell, you’ve never even spoken to the man. “He’s so persistent, it scares me, really.”
Seungmin could feel his anger building up. Of course he knows you have quite a few admirers. Even some of his friends are in that crowd. But Seungmin likes to think he always had the upper hand.
Yet he feels annoyed, offended at the thought that someone was pursuing you to the point of fear.
“He might be a duke’s son but he isn’t behaving like one.” Seungmin comments.
“Well, it doesn’t matter. All of these aristocrats and royals believe that the world is at their disposal. They could just command it and everything would go according to them. It’s ridiculous. I’m so glad you’re not from a royal line or else we wouldn’t have been having this conversation.” you say and Seungmin’s world stands still.
You think he’s not from a royal family?
You didn’t know who he really was?
He almost wants to tell you the truth, that he, in fact, is the descendant of the very king you were talking about in History today. But he chooses to remain silent. He’s enjoying your company way too much to ruin it in one day.
“Yeah, thank god for that.” Prince Seungmin replies.
*
The next few days pass by in the blink of an eye and the academic pressure gets worse.
"Wendy, could I borrow your lantern? Mine is broken, I think." You ask Wendy one afternoon.
The sun brightens up the inside of Wendy's room.
"Yeah, sure." She passes you her lantern, "I have a spare one. Going to the library?"
You nod.
There's no better place to study than the library. Especially on such a warm and cozy afternoon when everyone just wants to take a nap.
"I'll see you at dinner then?"
"Sure thing."
You walk the corridors, fiddling with your pockets, making sure you'd taken all your stationary. It would be a hassle to walk back to your room again.
As soon as you enter the library, the sounds of the world as if disappear. Not even the tapping of pens could be heard without focusing hard.
You find a suitable seat for yourself by the window and settle down there.
The library feels colder than your room and you're grateful for it. At least you wouldn't be sleepy now.
"Someone's working hard, I see." A teasing voice whispers from behind, "May I join you?"
Seungmin’s voice, much to your surprise, brings a smile to your face.
"Sure." You say, shy like a kid in kindergarten.
He claims the seat across you, setting his books and stationary on the table.
And for the next three hours, the only sound you hear from his side is that of his breathing. Even and steady.
He's busy reading a book and his eyes are focused on the pages, never once wavering anywhere else.
He's quite sincere, you realize.
The sun sets and the students light up their lanterns and immediately go back to studying. Seungmin glances at you for a second, his lips curving into a soft smile. You smile back, albeit shyly.
Hours pass by and you know it's almost time for dinner because your stomach is growling. Louder than ever.
"Y/n," Seungmin speaks to you, putting his book down, "Want to have some warm Noodles? There's a new stall in town which sells delicious noodles."
You contemplate for a second before agreeing with a smile.
"Noodles sound amazing right now."
The both of you pick up your lanterns and walk out the main gate into the streets of the town.
While the town is busy and bustling with activities during the day, at nightfall the town comes to a standstill. Something you've always liked.
"It's not in the market square, I presume." You say as Seungmin navigates through the lanes of the market.
"No," He replies, "But it is quite near to the market."
After a five minute walk from the market square, you finally see an old bamboo hut in the distance, dim and quiet.
But the moment Seungmin and you are seated on one of the wooden benches, you're as if in a trance. The aroma of herbs and spices and chicken broth is nothing like you'd ever felt before.
"Grandma, we'll have two bowls of noodles with a side of Kimchi, please." Seungmin says.
"Sure thing, son." The woman replies with a twinkle in her eyes.
"You're a regular here. " You say to Seungmin, looking around the interiors of the stall. "It's cozy and the noodles smell amazing already."
"Oh, y/n, wait till you taste them. It'll be like nothing you'd ever had before."
And true to his words, the moment you eat those noodles, flavors burst in your mouth.
It is a perfect blend of sweet and salty, but the black pepper adds the perfect spice to the combination of flavors.
"Seungmin, this is amazing!" You say, taking a second bite. "We have to come back here again!"
He can only chuckle at your reaction. If you'd say the word, he'd bring you to this place everyday. Without fail.
The two of you eat quietly, only sharing a glance of amazement once in a while.
"I'll pay, y/n." Seungmin offers once you guys are done eating, bellies full.
"No! Let me pay." You get up immediately and walk up to the old lady.
Seungmin can only shake his head at you.
"How much will that be, grandma?" You ask, taking out your purse.
"Oh, its on the house today. " the lady says, much to your surprise, "Master Seungmin brought his girlfriend out for a date at our place. I couldn't take money from you today."
Seungmin and you stare at each other, wide eyed and speechless and hearts racing.
"Grandma! She's not my girlfriend! We're classmates." Seungmin says, the tip of his ears bright red.
You nod, shyly, "There's nothing of that sort going on between us!"
Grandma smiles as she pours soup into a bowl, "Well, not yet maybe. I have an eye for things like that, you see."
When you exit the hut, Seungmin remains quite, his lips pursed in a line. It's truly endearing to see him flustered like that.
"Well, that was awkward." You say, trying to lighten up the mood.
Seungmin nods, rubbing the back of his head, "Sorry about that. I don't know why she'd say that."
"No, no, it's okay. She's an adorable woman." You say.
The rest of the walk passes by in silence.
For some reason, you always find yourself in these silent moments with Seungmin. But you like the silence. It's calming, not uncomfortable.
"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" He asks as the two of you reach the entrance of your dorm building.
You nod. You're about to turn around when he pulls you in for a gentle embrace.
Your heart stops. Your breathing stops. The earth stops.
Without even meaning to, you find yourself melting into the embrace.
The next second, Seungmin pulls back and walks towards his dorm, not even saying a word.
And you're standing there, mouth hanging open.
What are these nervous sensations Seungmin is making you feel?
*
"So why were you not at dinner yesterday?" Wendy asks the next morning, an eyebrow raised in suspicion, "Were you with a boy?"
You try to calm the heat spreading to your cheeks, "Kind of. But it wasn't anything like what you think. I swear. We were studying together and then he asked if I wanted to try a new food stall in town. That's all."
And then he hugged you Goodnight. And you haven't been able to forget the way his body felt against yours.
"And who exactly is 'we'?" Wendy asks again, the tone of suspiciousness still present in her words.
"Seungmin and I." You say.
Wendy stares at you, flabbergasted.
Seungmin and you?
You went out on a supposed platonic date with a Prince?
"Y/n, Seungmin is-" Wendy's words are cut off by the ringing of the hourly bell, indicating that your classes are about to begin.
"Wendy, I'll tell you all about it. Promise. See you later." You say and disappear into the crowd of hurrying students but Wendy doesn't move.
Wendy has a different plan in her mind. Something she considers more important than attending boring lectures.
*
"Kim Seungmin, can I see you for a second?" Wendy drags Seungmin by his arm the moment he steps out of his dorm building.
He stares at her, confused.
He didn't have a class yet; he was just stepping out to get some breakfast. Where was she dragging him early in the morning?
"What's wrong?" He asks.
Wendy and him have never even talked with each other before so why this sudden interest?
Wendy stands in front of him, eyes full of doubt. Her hands rest on her hips.
"Are you trying to mess with y/n?" She asks flatly.
Seungmin is taken aback, "What? No! Of course not!"
Why would she even think that? Seungmin almost feels angry.
"Then why are you hanging out with her late at night and why is she oblivious to you being of royal blood?"
Seungmin sighs, "Okay, Wendy, listen. I'm not trying to mess with her or anything. But its true I haven't told her about my family yet. And I will tell her. But I just want her to know me for me. Before she starts to dislike me just because I'm of royal blood. Do you think I'm wrong?"
Wendy thinks for a second before replying, "Well, you don't mean any harm. But...I think you should tell her about yourself. I mean if you're trying to get her to like you back, might as well be honest about your life."
Seungmin’s eyes are wide with shock. How did she even know about Seungmin’s crush on you? Did one of his friends spread the rumor? Did she try to spy on him?
"Hey, don't look so surprised, your majesty." sarcasm drips from her words, "Everyone here knows you like her. We have eyes, you know?"
Seungmin doesn't reply, embarrassed. Of course it is hot gossip when a prince falls in love, isn't it?
People have written sagas and books and poems about it. What is a little academy gossip compared to that?
*
You find out Seungmin hanging out with a female friend the a few days later during lunch, and you try to shake off an uncomfortable feeling.
"Seungmin, could I speak to you for a second?"
The girl looks at you, from head to toe and nods her head. "Hey, she's quite pretty, Seungmin."
Seungmin sighs, "Oh, shut up, Sojong. Don't you have a class?"
His ears are red again, like how they were back at the noodles shop.
"I'm going now anyways. Bye sweethearts!" The girl walks off with a smile, and you're left confused.
"Don't mind her. She's my cousin. An idiot cousin, if I may add."
It feels as if a weight is lifted off of your chest. Your lips automatically curve into a smile.
"I didn't know you had a cousin in the academy."
"Yeah, well. Now you do. So what's going on?" He replies.
"Um.. did Wendy say something to you a few days ago? About you going to the noodles stall with me?"
Seungmin chuckles, "Oh yeah. But it's alright. She's your friend. I get that she's quite protective of you."
You smile, "Thanks for understanding. But , umm...Seungmin, she also might have implied that you kind of want to go out with me."
Seungmin’s soul almost leaves his body. Wendy could not have shut up about it, could she? Now you probably think Seungmin is some kind of creep trying to get into your pants.
"Hey, it's okay. Wendy always exaggerates everything and she wants me to get a boyfriend desperately so I understand if you didn't say anything of that sort to her. She's not very good at conveying messages." You say.
"But I did." Seungmin says, mustering all his courage, "I did say that. To her. And it's totally okay if you don't feel the same way about me. I really do. "
You almost feel like laughing.
You haven't been able to get him out of your mind for the past few days. And he thinks you don't like him?
The both of you had been busy with different classes and tests and projects. The few glances and greetings you shared with him during lunch would become the highlight of your day. And he thinks you wouldn't want to go out with him?
Impossible.
"I do, though. I'm open to the idea of going out with you."
Seungmin was not prepared for that answer. He was sure he'd get rejected, but here you were, looking all shy and sweet while confessing to liking him back?
"Um..so how about tomorrow night? There's a nice restaurant with live music and all. I could book us a table there."
You try to supress the grin that is trying to claw its way onto your face.
"Sounds great. See you then."
"Yeah, see you." He replies, heart hammering hard against his chest.
*
The night finally comes and you find Seungmin standing just outside of your dorm building.
He wears a black long coat and pants, paired with a high collared white shirt and a rose in his hands.
Your legs feel weak the moment your eyes meet. And the gravity of the situation finally dawns on you.
By tonight, Kim Seungmin might become your boyfriend. He's handsome, intelligent and funny, yet he decides to go out on a date with you?
Why? How did the two of you even end up here?
On the other hand, Seungmin feels like he'd been hit by the cupid's arrow. The only thing he can think about as you make your way towards him is how beautiful that long, pink dress looks on you and how he couldn't wait to make you his.
"For the beautiful lady." He says, offering you the red rose.
Shyly, you take the rose.
"Shall we?" He asks, gently taking your hand. Your hand feels warm.
"Yes." You reply, intertwining your fingers with his.
Oh, how beautiful it feels.
To be able to walk hand in hand with the man you admired so much. It feels natural. Like this is how the two of you were always meant to be. Maybe if Wendy had never told you about how Seungmin felt about you, you'd have never made the effort to ask him if he ever saw you in a non-platonic way.
But you're glad everything that happened happened. You're not someone who liked to live with what-ifs.
The restaurant he'd booked just adds to the beauty of this evening. The ambience is nice and a musician plays a beautiful melody on the piano, matching to the aesthetic of the place.
"I had booked a table for two by the name of Kim Seungmin. "
The waiter takes you to your place, a large candle adorning the center of the table.
You take your seats and the waiter takes your order and leaves.
Seungmin gets a hold of your hand again, intertwining your fingers.
"I can't believe we're actually out on a date." He chuckles, tracing his thumb across the back of your palm.
"I can't either. It's surreal." You say, "But I love it. I love being here with you."
Seungmin nods, "I love being anywhere, as long as you're with me."
"Didn't know Kim Seungmin was such a flirt, huh." You laugh, your cheeks heating up.
"Oh, you're in for a long ride, baby girl." He says, pressing his lips softly against your fingers.
Goosebumps.
Indeed, you were in for a long ride.
*
That night, the two of you walk back to the academy campus in silence.
A silence that is so calming and so comforting, it feels almost like a soothing hug from Seungmin.
When you two reach the main entrance of your dorm, Seungmin pulls you in for a hug again.
And just like last time, you melt into his arms.
He smells like smoke and mint and comfort.
"I had a great time, y/n." He whispers, pulling away but keeping your faces close.
He put strands of your hair behind your ears, so soft and tender.
"I did, too." You reply, your hands gently settling on his cheeks.
"Can I kiss you, y/n, please?" Seungmin asks, almost pleads. Like kissing you is what would keep him alive from that day on, like kissing you would fill his lungs with oxygen, like kissing you is the drug that he just cannot quit.
And you can only nod before he crashes his lips onto yours.
And yet again, he's gentle and tender and you sigh into his mouth when he pulls you closer.
He tastes like the tiramisu you had back in the restaurant, sweet and like strawberries.
"I'll see you tomorrow, then." He says when you pull back, breathing heavy. His eyes are shy with a sense of pride in them. He couldn't believe that the girl he'd been crushing on since last year was finally his. He couldn't believe his luck.
And neither could you.
"Yeah, see you!" You say and kiss his lips once again before jogging into the dorm building.
Seungmin goes to sleep that night dreaming of you and wakes up yearning for you in the morning.
And the cycle repeats every day, for the next 2 months.
The two of you had become inseparable, spending every possible moment with each other.
Whenever your schedules would not let you spend a lot of time together, the two of would make sure to have at least one meal together. That single meal would be the highlight of both of your days.
But the final exams loom over you like an ominous grey cloud.
"So, as you already know, our country neighbors multiple other countries, each with their own king and set of rules. I want you all to remember the names of all current kings and all new rules they had added to their country during their tenure. " the history teacher was going on and on, "Remember, you only have a month left for your finals. That final grade would determine the trajectory of your lives. Study well."
And he finishes off with that threat.
You were so busy jotting down notes during the class that you didn't notice Seungmin's absence from the day's class.
You'd been late this morning and didn't have time to even have breakfast before coming to class. Naturally, you'd assumed he'd been in the class.
"I don't see your boyfriend today, y/n." Wendy says after class, as if reading your mind.
"Yeah, I've been wondering the same thing." You say, absently, stuffing your books back in your bag.
Wendy tags along with her other friends for lunch and you excuse yourself, making your way towards Seungmin’s dorm building.
You'd been to his room multiple times now, yet everytime you're surprised by how neat it is. The books are neatly lined up on the shelf, the blankets are folded on the bed and his shoes are neatly stacked by the corner of his cupboard.
"Missed you at class today." You say to Seungmin, whose eyes widen with excitement when he sees you enter the room.
"Yeah, I spent nearly three hours solving a problem last night, I didn't wake up on time." He says, patting the space near him on the bed.
You sit beside him, "Can we study together at night? I need your help."
He agrees immediately, pecking your cheek.
"In fact, we could go to the library right now, what say?" He asks.
"Did you forget, Seungmin? We have a field trip today. In the second half. We're supposed to assemble at the playground after lunch."
Seungmin chuckles, "Yeah. A field trip to the old fort of Taru. Almost forgot about it."
Something he'd been dreading for weeks now.
When it was announced that the final year students would be going on a field trip, he was excited in the beginning.
But when he found out the location of the said trip, he was devastated. The old fort of Taru was his ancestral home. His grandfather and great-grand father and great-great grandfather fought multiple wars and ruled the country from that fort and when they passed away, Seungmin’s father had shifted his family to a new palace just outside the city, deciding to turn the old fort into a museum for tourists.
Seungmin didn't dislike the old fort. In fact, he loved visiting that place . Every year, he'd look forward to visiting the old fort to pay homage to his forefathers during special festivals that only the Royal family celebrated.
Yet, he was dreading today's trip. Because at the entrance of the new museum, stands a tall painting of him and his family, welcoming tourists to their ancestral home.
And if you see the painting, his façade is going to disappear and you'll know his identity and that would be the end of his beautiful daydream.
But when you pull him by his collar and kiss him with so much love, he cannot help but wish for this dream to last forever.
*
When the time finally comes to board the horse carriages that would take the students to the fort, Seungmin starts rethinking every single choice of his till date. He knew he was hurting you, he knew you would be devasted to find out who he really is. But he would die if had to lose you.
And his greatest fears come to life the moment he sets foot out of that damned carriage.
Wendy, with her hand on your shoulder, stands near the fort entrance. You'd reached the fort earlier since the girls were sent off earlier. And Seungmin wishes they hadn't been.
You look confused, sad, eyebrows furrowed in exasperation.
When Wendy sees Seungmin, her eyes widen. "She knows." She mouths at him.
Seungmin swallows the lump in his throat, "Y/n, I swear..I swear I didn't do it to deceive you. I really like you and hell, I even love you. Please. Hear me out."
You don't say a word and stare at him with a piercing gaze.
"Y/n, please. I don't know why you hate Royal families but I promise you, I'm not as bad as you think they are. You know me, y/n. I'm your Seungmin!" He insists, trying to hold your hand.
But you pull away.
"You lied to me. You're no better than them." You say, almost a whisper, "Forget about what happened between us. It's over now."
And with that, the love of Seungmin’s life walks out of his life, leaving him in shambles.
*
You'd not slept properly for a week now and even stopped attending any classes. You had buried yourself in your books, revising every single page of every single book for as many times as you could.
The only time you did step out of your room was during lunch and dinner and even then, you made sure to avoid him at all costs.
It had been dreadful, really. You thought it would be easier for you to move on and forget the past few months if you kept reminding yourself of Seungmin’s lies, but it only made you miss him more.
He lied, yes; but he also made you fall in love with him, which was worse. Falling in love and dreaming of a family with Seungmin was never on your cards, you were sure you'd always marry the person your parents would have chosen for you. But here you were. Heartbroken and infatuated; both by the same person.
And today is no different from other days, or so you thought.
At around half past midnight, you hear a knock on your door. Wendy had gone home for a week and would be back tomorrow, so you are genuinely curious as to who would knock on your door at such an ungodly hour.
When you open the door, you see those eyes again- the black orbs that you'd fallen so deeply for.
"Y/n, do you have a minute? Please?" Seungmin pleads when you freeze at the sight of him.
"No. I'm afraid not." You reply, your heart hammering against your chest. The tightness in your throat does not help.
"Please, y/n. I beg you, please."
Across the hallway, a few girls pop their heads out of their doors, wondering where the male voice is from.
Sensing no other option, you pull Seungmin inside your room reluctantly.
"Fine. Say what you have to and then leave." You mutter.
You're doing everything in your power to avoid any sort of eye contact with him because you know that is what your weakness is.
He sits at the edge of your bed, while you sit in your chair, across the room.
"Y/n, you don't have to take me back. But I want you to know that I never meant to deceive you. It is pure, genuine love that I feel for you. I know you hate me because I'm of royal blood but ignoring that part, you did like me, didn't you? Before you even knew about my family. I'm still that person. I may be a prince but that is not all I am."
Your throat gets tighter and your eyes mist over with tears.
"It doesn't matter. Our relationship started from a lie. And as a matter of fact, I cannot ignore that you're a prince. I had one condition for all suitors and I cannot withdraw it for anyone."
Seungmin swallows, his eyes bloodshot, "Can you at least tell me why you hate Royal blood so much? What did they ever do to you?"
You scoff, "You really wanna know, huh? Does it still matter now? Because I'm never going to get back together with you, Seungmin."
"I want to know."
And so you tell him.
"I hate royals so much because I am one of them. I am a princess. A forgotten one, but the blood of royalty still courses through my veins."
You were a little girl of around four when your now parents had adopted you, more or less. You didn't know who they were or why they were taking you away from your mother and father- the king and queen of Nabha- a country neighboring Taru. You only remember crying till your head hurt. You remember your birth mother crying, standing at the gates of the castle while her emerald crown fell at her feet.
When you turned twelve, your adoptive parents told you the truth of your adoption.
Your adoptive mother worked in the Royal Palace as a governess for royal children while your adoptive father worked as a royal architect. They'd both met in the palace and fell in love, eventually married. You were born to the queen and king a year later. Everything was going well.
But as all stories go, yours had a villain too. Your own birth father- the king. He was the worst kind of person. He was cruel, unjust, abusive and hated you because you were a girl. He had prayed to every God known to mankind for a son, only for him to receive a daughter in return. But he refused to crown you the heir. For the next few years, the king traveled to all neighboring countries , looking for some solution to his problem. And then he found it. An oracle that told him to disown his first born daughter, in order to be blessed with a son.
When the king arranged for your adoption, he didn't even bother consulting his wife. One morning, you were in her arms and the next, you were being taken away to Taru by your adoptive parents.
The Queen killed herself the next morning.
"And that was the day I promised two things to myself: First, I would never set foot back in that country. I made Taru, your country my home. Second, I would never marry a man of royal ancestry. Because I know, no matter what happens, I never want to be associated with royals ever again. Betrayal is all we'll receive at the end under the pretense of a greater good."
Seungmin is speechless at this point. He thought your dislike towards royal lineage was just a matter of preference but now, he understands you. Truly. He understands why you'd take his lies as a sign of betrayal.
"Y/n, I-"
"Save it. You have your answers and I have mine. Leave."
He walks out of the room without a word and the moment you lock the door behind him, he falls on his knees, crying. His heart aches for you. For everything you'd been through and for everything he put you through. He cries for you.
But little does he know, behind the closed door, you're on your knees too, sobbing into your hands. Every single fiber of your being begged you to stop him and you chose to ignore it.
You wonder if you'll ever be able to hate Seungmin like you wish you did.
*
Wendy is lecturing you again this morning, her face tense.
"Y/n, we're leaving this academy forever tomorrow. Can you please give yourself the closure you deserve? Just go and talk to Seungmin. You don't have to hate his guts forever. "
The final exam results are out today, which means that your parents would be coming to pick you up tomorrow evening. You'd be leaving this place and all the bitter-sweet memories associated with it forever. It hurts you a little.
But you had to be strong.
"I've got my closure, Wendy. I promise. Can we talk about something else now?"
Wendy sighs, "Y/n, if this is what you want, then I shall support you. But know that I genuinely will always believe that you and Seungmin were meant to be. Even if you get married and have ten kids with someone else!"
For the first time in months, you allow yourself to laugh at Wendy's stupid statements. She joins in too.
But her words stick with you throughout the day.
That night, after you're done packing most of your stuff, you crash on your bed, a thousand thoughts circling your head.
I genuinely will always believe that you and Seungmin were meant to be. Even if you get married and have kids with someone else!
Even the thought of marrying another man and having his kids nauseated you. Are you really ready to let go of Seungmin, forever?
You had spent a long time trying to forget Prince Kim Seungmin, his voice, his words, his touch, but had you really succeeded?
After today, you might never see him again. Are you ready to live with that regret forever?
The answer to all these questions is no. You are not someone to live wondering the what-ifs.
So you jump out of the bed, lantern in hand and run towards Seungmin’s dorm.
*
"Y/n, did you come here by mistake?" Is his first reaction when he opens his door, hair messy and eyes alert.
You shake your head, "No. I need to talk to you. Can I come in?"
He let's you in.
"So, what's up?" He asks, rubbing the back of his neck. He looks nervous. Like the first time he had taken you out for dinner to grandma's noodle shop.
"I've been thinking. About you and about us. And I.. I'm scared. I will not lie. I do not trust royals, but for some reason, I trust you. I know that there’s a thousand things that could go wrong but I still want to be with you. If you'll have me again"
Seungmin is dumbfounded. Literally. How does one even respond to things like these?
"Seungmin, say something!" You insist.
He forces the words out of his mouth, "I'm g-glad you feel that way."
You scowl, hands on your hips.
"I bare my heart open to you and this is all you have to say? Really? Listen, if you've found someone else in these few weeks then I understand, I really do but please at least-"
He kisses you. He kisses you so beautifully, it pains you to even think that you were willing to give up this. And for what? A horrible father who coincidentally was also of royal blood?
His tongue nudges at your tongue playfully, while his hands are cupping your face, thumbs circling your skin in comfort.
You'd never felt so much peace.
When you pull away, he gently presses his forehead onto yours, "I wouldn't dare find someone else. I assure you, whatever prejudices Nabha had, they do not exist here in Taru. I'm not like your birth father and I will never be. I promise. I will do everything in my power to convince you about it."
And for some reason, as usual, you believe him.
You kiss him again, knowing that if you could go back in time, you would not change a thing. You would let Seungmin easily win the duel of your hearts a thousand times over.
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sparklingchan · 2 months
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A Duel of Hearts || Kim Seungmin (Stray Kids)
Pairing: Reader(fem.) X Seungmin Word Count: 5k+ Warnings: Suggestive, strong language(ig), mention of suicide (not the main characters). Genre: Royal AU, Friends to Lovers, Dark Academia, Angst mixed with fluff. Description: Caught in a dilemma of affection, Kim Seungmin, a prince, finds himself drawn to you. There was but one obstacle to his pursuit —you've set a single condition for all potential suitors: no royal lineage. A/N: Hello everyone! Here's another installation of the SKZ Royal AU. Idk why but Seungmin has this Dark Academia kind of vibe so I tried to incorporate that here. Hope you guys like it! More to come<3 Do check out the other fics in the skz royal series. (The stories are not interrelated) Here's the link.
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You like to believe that your new dorm room is starting to grow on you.
It wasn't anything like your room back in your parents' house of course; but over the past twelve months, you'd renovated your dorm room enough to feel at home.
You'd replaced the light blue curtains with grey ones, swapped the single candle stand with a lantern to help you study better at night, put on a white table cloth and the list goes on.
A knock on your door pulls your attention.
It must be Wendy, you think to yourself, walking toward the door.
Correction: your only friend Wendy.
"Gosh, I really hate this academy, y/n." She walks in complaining, "I cannot believe they gave me a B in geography. I love geography. I cannot believe they'd ruin my overall grade like that."
"What happened?" You ask, closing the door behind her.
"I don't know! I will deal with this later, anyway," she says, fishing out a note from the pocket of her blazer. "I'm here to discuss a more pressing matter."
"What's that?"
"Of course, it's one of your lovers, y/n. I have two more lover letters in my backpack. Do you need them?"
You half chuckle and half sigh, taking the note from her and tearing it into bits.
"Ouch." Wendy says, staring at you, "Tell me y/n, it's been over a year since you joined the academy. All the boys here would die to even see you across the hallway yet you've kept the door to your heart locked. Why?"
"I am not not open to having a relationship. I just dislike how most of these men who pursue me are of royal blood. And if there's anything I despise most is royalty. That letter you gave me right now? It was from the Duke's son. It's his third letter in a row. That boy just doesn't know when to stop." You press your hand to your forehead, stressed.
Wendy nods her head, "Yeah, he is an annoying brat, I'll give you that, but y/n, I really don't understand your dislike towards royalty? Any girl out there would love to be pursued by royal suitors, including myself."
You smile in response, "It's a secret."
As always, Wendy just chuckles and doesn't push you to answer further because really, you don't know what you'll do if you ever have to explain yourself. It's a secret you rarely even discuss with yourself.
"Come on, we'll be late for our afternoon class." You say and walk towards the door, already tired of the day ahead of you.
*
“But Professor, do you not think that the first king of Taru was a horrible person morally? I mean, he did kill all of his wives when they failed to birth a son.”
If there is anyone in this academy who you think hates you to the core is your History Professor. The amount of times you’d ask him a question and he’d reply very vaguely, never answering to the point was insane. So naturally, you had developed a habit of asking him odd questions just to spite him.
Your Professor looks at you, almost angrily, and answers, “We are no one to judge a historical figure. Miss y/n.”
“But sir, you are portraying him as a role model to the class. Don’t you think that’s wrong? As you said, we are no one to judge him.”
Your professor hisses through gritted teeth and turns towards the board, not bothering to answer you. A subtle smile finds your lips.
“So, class as I was saying. The first King of this country- Taru- built the longest bridge in -”
“Excuse me, sir?” A hand shoots up from among the students followed by a voice, “May I answer Miss y/n’s question please?”
Your professor rubs his temple and sighs, nodding, “Go ahead, Mister Seungmin.”
You turn your head up to look at the owner of the voice, and much to your surprise, it is Kim Seungmin. He’s one of the quieter kids in the class but you’ve worked on a few projects together so you know that there’s more depth to him than just being the quiet kid by the window seat.
“Y/n, I think we could still look up to the King as a leader. Yes, he was ruthless to his wives but we don’t need to look up to him as a husband. He was, on the other hand, a great leader who led his country to become one of the greatest in the world, second to none.”
“Well, does that answer your question?” The professor asks and you nod, bowing towards Seungmin. He bows back.
The professor teaches the class for an hour more, letting you guys dismiss after his daily warning of, “You'll be going to universities next year so do work hard this year,”
You gather all your things and walk out of the class, stomach growling, almost begging you to make your way to the dining area for lunch.
For lunch, the menu rarely changes except on holidays.
And in all honesty, you’re tired of having chicken stew with rice everyday since you stepped foot in this academy, but the other options are extremely limited so you join the line of hungry and tired students, complaining about how difficult this year has been.
Once you have your plate of rice and stew, you seat on one of the empty benches and begin to gobble up the rice like there’s no tomorrow.
“Um, y/n? Mind if I join you?”
“Seungmin?” you ask, almost surprised, “Have a seat, please.”
Seungmin mutters a small ‘thanks’ and claims the seat in front of you, placing his backpack on the sides.
“So what have you been up to?” he asks to break the ice. It seems like you’re more focused on the rice in front of you than him.
“Eating?” you chuckle, “What’s up with you? How’s your preparation for University?”
Seungmin, licks his bottom lip, deep in thought.
How was his preparation for university going, really? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t even remember the last time he opened his books after school.
In fact, lately, his mind has been occupied with something entirely different-you.
You, who acts so indifferent to the rest of the people yet helped Seungmin when he was almost failing a chemistry project evaluation.
You, who says she has no friends yet packs extra food from home for Wendy.
You, who says she is having a hard time adjusting to the academy yet she’s his favorite person here.
How could you not be on his mind?
“Eh, it’s okay. I guess.” Seungmin scratches the back of his head. “How’s yours?”
“Not really well, to be honest . If only that duke’s son would stop sending me those stupid letters, my life would be a lot more peaceful.” you say and it’s true that those letter have been nothing short of a nuisance since you came back from the semester break. You respect his feelings, but you’re not obligated to like him back. Hell, you’ve never even spoken to the man. “He’s so persistent, it scares me, really.”
Seungmin could feel his anger building up. Of course he knows you have quite a few admirers. Even some of his friends are in that crowd. But Seungmin likes to think he always had the upper hand.
Yet he feels annoyed, offended at the thought that someone was pursuing you to the point of fear.
“He might be a duke’s son but he isn’t behaving like one.” Seungmin comments.
“Well, it doesn’t matter. All of these aristocrats and royals believe that the world is at their disposal. They could just command it and everything would go according to them. It’s ridiculous. I’m so glad you’re not from a royal line or else we wouldn’t have been having this conversation.” you say and Seungmin’s world stands still.
You think he’s not from a royal family?
You didn’t know who he really was?
He almost wants to tell you the truth, that he, in fact, is the descendant of the very king you were talking about in History today. But he chooses to remain silent. He’s enjoying your company way too much to ruin it in one day.
“Yeah, thank god for that.” Prince Seungmin replies.
*
The next few days pass by in the blink of an eye and the academic pressure gets worse.
"Wendy, could I borrow your lantern? Mine is broken, I think." You ask Wendy one afternoon.
The sun brightens up the inside of Wendy's room.
"Yeah, sure." She passes you her lantern, "I have a spare one. Going to the library?"
You nod.
There's no better place to study than the library. Especially on such a warm and cozy afternoon when everyone just wants to take a nap.
"I'll see you at dinner then?"
"Sure thing."
You walk the corridors, fiddling with your pockets, making sure you'd taken all your stationary. It would be a hassle to walk back to your room again.
As soon as you enter the library, the sounds of the world as if disappear. Not even the tapping of pens could be heard without focusing hard.
You find a suitable seat for yourself by the window and settle down there.
The library feels colder than your room and you're grateful for it. At least you wouldn't be sleepy now.
"Someone's working hard, I see." A teasing voice whispers from behind, "May I join you?"
Seungmin’s voice, much to your surprise, brings a smile to your face.
"Sure." You say, shy like a kid in kindergarten.
He claims the seat across you, setting his books and stationary on the table.
And for the next three hours, the only sound you hear from his side is that of his breathing. Even and steady.
He's busy reading a book and his eyes are focused on the pages, never once wavering anywhere else.
He's quite sincere, you realize.
The sun sets and the students light up their lanterns and immediately go back to studying. Seungmin glances at you for a second, his lips curving into a soft smile. You smile back, albeit shyly.
Hours pass by and you know it's almost time for dinner because your stomach is growling. Louder than ever.
"Y/n," Seungmin speaks to you, putting his book down, "Want to have some warm Noodles? There's a new stall in town which sells delicious noodles."
You contemplate for a second before agreeing with a smile.
"Noodles sound amazing right now."
The both of you pick up your lanterns and walk out the main gate into the streets of the town.
While the town is busy and bustling with activities during the day, at nightfall the town comes to a standstill. Something you've always liked.
"It's not in the market square, I presume." You say as Seungmin navigates through the lanes of the market.
"No," He replies, "But it is quite near to the market."
After a five minute walk from the market square, you finally see an old bamboo hut in the distance, dim and quiet.
But the moment Seungmin and you are seated on one of the wooden benches, you're as if in a trance. The aroma of herbs and spices and chicken broth is nothing like you'd ever felt before.
"Grandma, we'll have two bowls of noodles with a side of Kimchi, please." Seungmin says.
"Sure thing, son." The woman replies with a twinkle in her eyes.
"You're a regular here. " You say to Seungmin, looking around the interiors of the stall. "It's cozy and the noodles smell amazing already."
"Oh, y/n, wait till you taste them. It'll be like nothing you'd ever had before."
And true to his words, the moment you eat those noodles, flavors burst in your mouth.
It is a perfect blend of sweet and salty, but the black pepper adds the perfect spice to the combination of flavors.
"Seungmin, this is amazing!" You say, taking a second bite. "We have to come back here again!"
He can only chuckle at your reaction. If you'd say the word, he'd bring you to this place everyday. Without fail.
The two of you eat quietly, only sharing a glance of amazement once in a while.
"I'll pay, y/n." Seungmin offers once you guys are done eating, bellies full.
"No! Let me pay." You get up immediately and walk up to the old lady.
Seungmin can only shake his head at you.
"How much will that be, grandma?" You ask, taking out your purse.
"Oh, its on the house today. " the lady says, much to your surprise, "Master Seungmin brought his girlfriend out for a date at our place. I couldn't take money from you today."
Seungmin and you stare at each other, wide eyed and speechless and hearts racing.
"Grandma! She's not my girlfriend! We're classmates." Seungmin says, the tip of his ears bright red.
You nod, shyly, "There's nothing of that sort going on between us!"
Grandma smiles as she pours soup into a bowl, "Well, not yet maybe. I have an eye for things like that, you see."
When you exit the hut, Seungmin remains quite, his lips pursed in a line. It's truly endearing to see him flustered like that.
"Well, that was awkward." You say, trying to lighten up the mood.
Seungmin nods, rubbing the back of his head, "Sorry about that. I don't know why she'd say that."
"No, no, it's okay. She's an adorable woman." You say.
The rest of the walk passes by in silence.
For some reason, you always find yourself in these silent moments with Seungmin. But you like the silence. It's calming, not uncomfortable.
"So, I'll see you tomorrow?" He asks as the two of you reach the entrance of your dorm building.
You nod. You're about to turn around when he pulls you in for a gentle embrace.
Your heart stops. Your breathing stops. The earth stops.
Without even meaning to, you find yourself melting into the embrace.
The next second, Seungmin pulls back and walks towards his dorm, not even saying a word.
And you're standing there, mouth hanging open.
What are these nervous sensations Seungmin is making you feel?
*
"So why were you not at dinner yesterday?" Wendy asks the next morning, an eyebrow raised in suspicion, "Were you with a boy?"
You try to calm the heat spreading to your cheeks, "Kind of. But it wasn't anything like what you think. I swear. We were studying together and then he asked if I wanted to try a new food stall in town. That's all."
And then he hugged you Goodnight. And you haven't been able to forget the way his body felt against yours.
"And who exactly is 'we'?" Wendy asks again, the tone of suspiciousness still present in her words.
"Seungmin and I." You say.
Wendy stares at you, flabbergasted.
Seungmin and you?
You went out on a supposed platonic date with a Prince?
"Y/n, Seungmin is-" Wendy's words are cut off by the ringing of the hourly bell, indicating that your classes are about to begin.
"Wendy, I'll tell you all about it. Promise. See you later." You say and disappear into the crowd of hurrying students but Wendy doesn't move.
Wendy has a different plan in her mind. Something she considers more important than attending boring lectures.
*
"Kim Seungmin, can I see you for a second?" Wendy drags Seungmin by his arm the moment he steps out of his dorm building.
He stares at her, confused.
He didn't have a class yet; he was just stepping out to get some breakfast. Where was she dragging him early in the morning?
"What's wrong?" He asks.
Wendy and him have never even talked with each other before so why this sudden interest?
Wendy stands in front of him, eyes full of doubt. Her hands rest on her hips.
"Are you trying to mess with y/n?" She asks flatly.
Seungmin is taken aback, "What? No! Of course not!"
Why would she even think that? Seungmin almost feels angry.
"Then why are you hanging out with her late at night and why is she oblivious to you being of royal blood?"
Seungmin sighs, "Okay, Wendy, listen. I'm not trying to mess with her or anything. But its true I haven't told her about my family yet. And I will tell her. But I just want her to know me for me. Before she starts to dislike me just because I'm of royal blood. Do you think I'm wrong?"
Wendy thinks for a second before replying, "Well, you don't mean any harm. But...I think you should tell her about yourself. I mean if you're trying to get her to like you back, might as well be honest about your life."
Seungmin’s eyes are wide with shock. How did she even know about Seungmin’s crush on you? Did one of his friends spread the rumor? Did she try to spy on him?
"Hey, don't look so surprised, your majesty." sarcasm drips from her words, "Everyone here knows you like her. We have eyes, you know?"
Seungmin doesn't reply, embarrassed. Of course it is hot gossip when a prince falls in love, isn't it?
People have written sagas and books and poems about it. What is a little academy gossip compared to that?
*
You find out Seungmin hanging out with a female friend the a few days later during lunch, and you try to shake off an uncomfortable feeling.
"Seungmin, could I speak to you for a second?"
The girl looks at you, from head to toe and nods her head. "Hey, she's quite pretty, Seungmin."
Seungmin sighs, "Oh, shut up, Sojong. Don't you have a class?"
His ears are red again, like how they were back at the noodles shop.
"I'm going now anyways. Bye sweethearts!" The girl walks off with a smile, and you're left confused.
"Don't mind her. She's my cousin. An idiot cousin, if I may add."
It feels as if a weight is lifted off of your chest. Your lips automatically curve into a smile.
"I didn't know you had a cousin in the academy."
"Yeah, well. Now you do. So what's going on?" He replies.
"Um.. did Wendy say something to you a few days ago? About you going to the noodles stall with me?"
Seungmin chuckles, "Oh yeah. But it's alright. She's your friend. I get that she's quite protective of you."
You smile, "Thanks for understanding. But , umm...Seungmin, she also might have implied that you kind of want to go out with me."
Seungmin’s soul almost leaves his body. Wendy could not have shut up about it, could she? Now you probably think Seungmin is some kind of creep trying to get into your pants.
"Hey, it's okay. Wendy always exaggerates everything and she wants me to get a boyfriend desperately so I understand if you didn't say anything of that sort to her. She's not very good at conveying messages." You say.
"But I did." Seungmin says, mustering all his courage, "I did say that. To her. And it's totally okay if you don't feel the same way about me. I really do. "
You almost feel like laughing.
You haven't been able to get him out of your mind for the past few days. And he thinks you don't like him?
The both of you had been busy with different classes and tests and projects. The few glances and greetings you shared with him during lunch would become the highlight of your day. And he thinks you wouldn't want to go out with him?
Impossible.
"I do, though. I'm open to the idea of going out with you."
Seungmin was not prepared for that answer. He was sure he'd get rejected, but here you were, looking all shy and sweet while confessing to liking him back?
"Um..so how about tomorrow night? There's a nice restaurant with live music and all. I could book us a table there."
You try to supress the grin that is trying to claw its way onto your face.
"Sounds great. See you then."
"Yeah, see you." He replies, heart hammering hard against his chest.
*
The night finally comes and you find Seungmin standing just outside of your dorm building.
He wears a black long coat and pants, paired with a high collared white shirt and a rose in his hands.
Your legs feel weak the moment your eyes meet. And the gravity of the situation finally dawns on you.
By tonight, Kim Seungmin might become your boyfriend. He's handsome, intelligent and funny, yet he decides to go out on a date with you?
Why? How did the two of you even end up here?
On the other hand, Seungmin feels like he'd been hit by the cupid's arrow. The only thing he can think about as you make your way towards him is how beautiful that long, pink dress looks on you and how he couldn't wait to make you his.
"For the beautiful lady." He says, offering you the red rose.
Shyly, you take the rose.
"Shall we?" He asks, gently taking your hand. Your hand feels warm.
"Yes." You reply, intertwining your fingers with his.
Oh, how beautiful it feels.
To be able to walk hand in hand with the man you admired so much. It feels natural. Like this is how the two of you were always meant to be. Maybe if Wendy had never told you about how Seungmin felt about you, you'd have never made the effort to ask him if he ever saw you in a non-platonic way.
But you're glad everything that happened happened. You're not someone who liked to live with what-ifs.
The restaurant he'd booked just adds to the beauty of this evening. The ambience is nice and a musician plays a beautiful melody on the piano, matching to the aesthetic of the place.
"I had booked a table for two by the name of Kim Seungmin. "
The waiter takes you to your place, a large candle adorning the center of the table.
You take your seats and the waiter takes your order and leaves.
Seungmin gets a hold of your hand again, intertwining your fingers.
"I can't believe we're actually out on a date." He chuckles, tracing his thumb across the back of your palm.
"I can't either. It's surreal." You say, "But I love it. I love being here with you."
Seungmin nods, "I love being anywhere, as long as you're with me."
"Didn't know Kim Seungmin was such a flirt, huh." You laugh, your cheeks heating up.
"Oh, you're in for a long ride, baby girl." He says, pressing his lips softly against your fingers.
Goosebumps.
Indeed, you were in for a long ride.
*
That night, the two of you walk back to the academy campus in silence.
A silence that is so calming and so comforting, it feels almost like a soothing hug from Seungmin.
When you two reach the main entrance of your dorm, Seungmin pulls you in for a hug again.
And just like last time, you melt into his arms.
He smells like smoke and mint and comfort.
"I had a great time, y/n." He whispers, pulling away but keeping your faces close.
He put strands of your hair behind your ears, so soft and tender.
"I did, too." You reply, your hands gently settling on his cheeks.
"Can I kiss you, y/n, please?" Seungmin asks, almost pleads. Like kissing you is what would keep him alive from that day on, like kissing you would fill his lungs with oxygen, like kissing you is the drug that he just cannot quit.
And you can only nod before he crashes his lips onto yours.
And yet again, he's gentle and tender and you sigh into his mouth when he pulls you closer.
He tastes like the tiramisu you had back in the restaurant, sweet and like strawberries.
"I'll see you tomorrow, then." He says when you pull back, breathing heavy. His eyes are shy with a sense of pride in them. He couldn't believe that the girl he'd been crushing on since last year was finally his. He couldn't believe his luck.
And neither could you.
"Yeah, see you!" You say and kiss his lips once again before jogging into the dorm building.
Seungmin goes to sleep that night dreaming of you and wakes up yearning for you in the morning.
And the cycle repeats every day, for the next 2 months.
The two of you had become inseparable, spending every possible moment with each other.
Whenever your schedules would not let you spend a lot of time together, the two of would make sure to have at least one meal together. That single meal would be the highlight of both of your days.
But the final exams loom over you like an ominous grey cloud.
"So, as you already know, our country neighbors multiple other countries, each with their own king and set of rules. I want you all to remember the names of all current kings and all new rules they had added to their country during their tenure. " the history teacher was going on and on, "Remember, you only have a month left for your finals. That final grade would determine the trajectory of your lives. Study well."
And he finishes off with that threat.
You were so busy jotting down notes during the class that you didn't notice Seungmin's absence from the day's class.
You'd been late this morning and didn't have time to even have breakfast before coming to class. Naturally, you'd assumed he'd been in the class.
"I don't see your boyfriend today, y/n." Wendy says after class, as if reading your mind.
"Yeah, I've been wondering the same thing." You say, absently, stuffing your books back in your bag.
Wendy tags along with her other friends for lunch and you excuse yourself, making your way towards Seungmin’s dorm building.
You'd been to his room multiple times now, yet everytime you're surprised by how neat it is. The books are neatly lined up on the shelf, the blankets are folded on the bed and his shoes are neatly stacked by the corner of his cupboard.
"Missed you at class today." You say to Seungmin, whose eyes widen with excitement when he sees you enter the room.
"Yeah, I spent nearly three hours solving a problem last night, I didn't wake up on time." He says, patting the space near him on the bed.
You sit beside him, "Can we study together at night? I need your help."
He agrees immediately, pecking your cheek.
"In fact, we could go to the library right now, what say?" He asks.
"Did you forget, Seungmin? We have a field trip today. In the second half. We're supposed to assemble at the playground after lunch."
Seungmin chuckles, "Yeah. A field trip to the old fort of Taru. Almost forgot about it."
Something he'd been dreading for weeks now.
When it was announced that the final year students would be going on a field trip, he was excited in the beginning.
But when he found out the location of the said trip, he was devastated. The old fort of Taru was his ancestral home. His grandfather and great-grand father and great-great grandfather fought multiple wars and ruled the country from that fort and when they passed away, Seungmin’s father had shifted his family to a new palace just outside the city, deciding to turn the old fort into a museum for tourists.
Seungmin didn't dislike the old fort. In fact, he loved visiting that place . Every year, he'd look forward to visiting the old fort to pay homage to his forefathers during special festivals that only the Royal family celebrated.
Yet, he was dreading today's trip. Because at the entrance of the new museum, stands a tall painting of him and his family, welcoming tourists to their ancestral home.
And if you see the painting, his façade is going to disappear and you'll know his identity and that would be the end of his beautiful daydream.
But when you pull him by his collar and kiss him with so much love, he cannot help but wish for this dream to last forever.
*
When the time finally comes to board the horse carriages that would take the students to the fort, Seungmin starts rethinking every single choice of his till date. He knew he was hurting you, he knew you would be devasted to find out who he really is. But he would die if had to lose you.
And his greatest fears come to life the moment he sets foot out of that damned carriage.
Wendy, with her hand on your shoulder, stands near the fort entrance. You'd reached the fort earlier since the girls were sent off earlier. And Seungmin wishes they hadn't been.
You look confused, sad, eyebrows furrowed in exasperation.
When Wendy sees Seungmin, her eyes widen. "She knows." She mouths at him.
Seungmin swallows the lump in his throat, "Y/n, I swear..I swear I didn't do it to deceive you. I really like you and hell, I even love you. Please. Hear me out."
You don't say a word and stare at him with a piercing gaze.
"Y/n, please. I don't know why you hate Royal families but I promise you, I'm not as bad as you think they are. You know me, y/n. I'm your Seungmin!" He insists, trying to hold your hand.
But you pull away.
"You lied to me. You're no better than them." You say, almost a whisper, "Forget about what happened between us. It's over now."
And with that, the love of Seungmin’s life walks out of his life, leaving him in shambles.
*
You'd not slept properly for a week now and even stopped attending any classes. You had buried yourself in your books, revising every single page of every single book for as many times as you could.
The only time you did step out of your room was during lunch and dinner and even then, you made sure to avoid him at all costs.
It had been dreadful, really. You thought it would be easier for you to move on and forget the past few months if you kept reminding yourself of Seungmin’s lies, but it only made you miss him more.
He lied, yes; but he also made you fall in love with him, which was worse. Falling in love and dreaming of a family with Seungmin was never on your cards, you were sure you'd always marry the person your parents would have chosen for you. But here you were. Heartbroken and infatuated; both by the same person.
And today is no different from other days, or so you thought.
At around half past midnight, you hear a knock on your door. Wendy had gone home for a week and would be back tomorrow, so you are genuinely curious as to who would knock on your door at such an ungodly hour.
When you open the door, you see those eyes again- the black orbs that you'd fallen so deeply for.
"Y/n, do you have a minute? Please?" Seungmin pleads when you freeze at the sight of him.
"No. I'm afraid not." You reply, your heart hammering against your chest. The tightness in your throat does not help.
"Please, y/n. I beg you, please."
Across the hallway, a few girls pop their heads out of their doors, wondering where the male voice is from.
Sensing no other option, you pull Seungmin inside your room reluctantly.
"Fine. Say what you have to and then leave." You mutter.
You're doing everything in your power to avoid any sort of eye contact with him because you know that is what your weakness is.
He sits at the edge of your bed, while you sit in your chair, across the room.
"Y/n, you don't have to take me back. But I want you to know that I never meant to deceive you. It is pure, genuine love that I feel for you. I know you hate me because I'm of royal blood but ignoring that part, you did like me, didn't you? Before you even knew about my family. I'm still that person. I may be a prince but that is not all I am."
Your throat gets tighter and your eyes mist over with tears.
"It doesn't matter. Our relationship started from a lie. And as a matter of fact, I cannot ignore that you're a prince. I had one condition for all suitors and I cannot withdraw it for anyone."
Seungmin swallows, his eyes bloodshot, "Can you at least tell me why you hate Royal blood so much? What did they ever do to you?"
You scoff, "You really wanna know, huh? Does it still matter now? Because I'm never going to get back together with you, Seungmin."
"I want to know."
And so you tell him.
"I hate royals so much because I am one of them. I am a princess. A forgotten one, but the blood of royalty still courses through my veins."
You were a little girl of around four when your now parents had adopted you, more or less. You didn't know who they were or why they were taking you away from your mother and father- the king and queen of Nabha- a country neighboring Taru. You only remember crying till your head hurt. You remember your birth mother crying, standing at the gates of the castle while her emerald crown fell at her feet.
When you turned twelve, your adoptive parents told you the truth of your adoption.
Your adoptive mother worked in the Royal Palace as a governess for royal children while your adoptive father worked as a royal architect. They'd both met in the palace and fell in love, eventually married. You were born to the queen and king a year later. Everything was going well.
But as all stories go, yours had a villain too. Your own birth father- the king. He was the worst kind of person. He was cruel, unjust, abusive and hated you because you were a girl. He had prayed to every God known to mankind for a son, only for him to receive a daughter in return. But he refused to crown you the heir. For the next few years, the king traveled to all neighboring countries , looking for some solution to his problem. And then he found it. An oracle that told him to disown his first born daughter, in order to be blessed with a son.
When the king arranged for your adoption, he didn't even bother consulting his wife. One morning, you were in her arms and the next, you were being taken away to Taru by your adoptive parents.
The Queen killed herself the next morning.
"And that was the day I promised two things to myself: First, I would never set foot back in that country. I made Taru, your country my home. Second, I would never marry a man of royal ancestry. Because I know, no matter what happens, I never want to be associated with royals ever again. Betrayal is all we'll receive at the end under the pretense of a greater good."
Seungmin is speechless at this point. He thought your dislike towards royal lineage was just a matter of preference but now, he understands you. Truly. He understands why you'd take his lies as a sign of betrayal.
"Y/n, I-"
"Save it. You have your answers and I have mine. Leave."
He walks out of the room without a word and the moment you lock the door behind him, he falls on his knees, crying. His heart aches for you. For everything you'd been through and for everything he put you through. He cries for you.
But little does he know, behind the closed door, you're on your knees too, sobbing into your hands. Every single fiber of your being begged you to stop him and you chose to ignore it.
You wonder if you'll ever be able to hate Seungmin like you wish you did.
*
Wendy is lecturing you again this morning, her face tense.
"Y/n, we're leaving this academy forever tomorrow. Can you please give yourself the closure you deserve? Just go and talk to Seungmin. You don't have to hate his guts forever. "
The final exam results are out today, which means that your parents would be coming to pick you up tomorrow evening. You'd be leaving this place and all the bitter-sweet memories associated with it forever. It hurts you a little.
But you had to be strong.
"I've got my closure, Wendy. I promise. Can we talk about something else now?"
Wendy sighs, "Y/n, if this is what you want, then I shall support you. But know that I genuinely will always believe that you and Seungmin were meant to be. Even if you get married and have ten kids with someone else!"
For the first time in months, you allow yourself to laugh at Wendy's stupid statements. She joins in too.
But her words stick with you throughout the day.
That night, after you're done packing most of your stuff, you crash on your bed, a thousand thoughts circling your head.
I genuinely will always believe that you and Seungmin were meant to be. Even if you get married and have kids with someone else!
Even the thought of marrying another man and having his kids nauseated you. Are you really ready to let go of Seungmin, forever?
You had spent a long time trying to forget Prince Kim Seungmin, his voice, his words, his touch, but had you really succeeded?
After today, you might never see him again. Are you ready to live with that regret forever?
The answer to all these questions is no. You are not someone to live wondering the what-ifs.
So you jump out of the bed, lantern in hand and run towards Seungmin’s dorm.
*
"Y/n, did you come here by mistake?" Is his first reaction when he opens his door, hair messy and eyes alert.
You shake your head, "No. I need to talk to you. Can I come in?"
He let's you in.
"So, what's up?" He asks, rubbing the back of his neck. He looks nervous. Like the first time he had taken you out for dinner to grandma's noodle shop.
"I've been thinking. About you and about us. And I.. I'm scared. I will not lie. I do not trust royals, but for some reason, I trust you. I know that there’s a thousand things that could go wrong but I still want to be with you. If you'll have me again"
Seungmin is dumbfounded. Literally. How does one even respond to things like these?
"Seungmin, say something!" You insist.
He forces the words out of his mouth, "I'm g-glad you feel that way."
You scowl, hands on your hips.
"I bare my heart open to you and this is all you have to say? Really? Listen, if you've found someone else in these few weeks then I understand, I really do but please at least-"
He kisses you. He kisses you so beautifully, it pains you to even think that you were willing to give up this. And for what? A horrible father who coincidentally was also of royal blood?
His tongue nudges at your tongue playfully, while his hands are cupping your face, thumbs circling your skin in comfort.
You'd never felt so much peace.
When you pull away, he gently presses his forehead onto yours, "I wouldn't dare find someone else. I assure you, whatever prejudices Nabha had, they do not exist here in Taru. I'm not like your birth father and I will never be. I promise. I will do everything in my power to convince you about it."
And for some reason, as usual, you believe him.
You kiss him again, knowing that if you could go back in time, you would not change a thing. You would let Seungmin easily win the duel of your hearts a thousand times over.
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