speakeasybreathefreely - Tumblr blog

[speakeasybreathefreely]

Digital illustration of a brown fem with a purple bob. They are looking back, with the collar of their pink denim jacket lifted up. The jacket has two pins that depict a rainbow flag and trans flag and there’s stars and text that reads, ‘support abortion access.’

Art by Liberal Jane

[speakeasybreathefreely]

Fucking Fuck Fuck

I cannot stress this enough: Your faith should not dictate the laws that govern a country. A country that proudly touts its liberty and justice, I might add.

This country is broken. It has turned its back on its health and safety, its minorities, its youth, and now 50.8% of its population. 

Stop allowing wealthy institutions with personal agendas to run a country. 

This is bullshit. 

[speakeasybreathefreely]

My Bucket List

Traditionally since creating this blog, I have reflected back on the prior year (whoops it's February), and listed hopes for the new year. However, I think 2020 spoke enough volumes, and 2021 has also proven to be challenging, so let's not.

Instead, I'm formally creating a bucket list and putting it out into the universe.

1. Write a book and get it published

2. Make a 6-digit salary by 30 years old.

3. Go skydiving

4. Pay for my parents dream vacation

5. Witness a total solar eclipse

6. Own property in Canada

7. Visit MacLean of Duarte Castle in Scotland

8. Snorkel the Great Barrier Reef

9. Watch a space shuttle launch from Cape Canaveral

10. Walk on the Great Wall of China

11. Visit the Taj Mahal

12. Visit the Pyramids of Giza

13. Drive a 1960's Ford Mustang

14. Become a mom

15. Happily grow old with my husband

On your mark, get set, go!

[speakeasybreathefreely]

Howdy,

I’m still here. Just checking in to say “hey.”

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Sometimes it baffles me that the U.S. can be so blind to their own faults.

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Just catching up on the latest YouTube drama scandal and man, the “YouTuber” lifestyle is toxiccccc.

It’s a very appealing platform for people that are hungry for acceptance and often fame, and it opens up these people looking for sanctuary into a hostile environment that can truly bring out the worst in humanity.

Not to mention it’s extremely public and often rewards tasteless actions.

Of course, not everyone is like that on YouTube, but it certainly has bred some narcissism and feeds off of other users pointing fingers or even fanning the flames of scandals.

“Cancel” culture is brash and can be dangerous. We have so much information now, we don’t know what to do with it all.

If we learn one thing from 2020, I really hope we can learn how to be a little bit nicer to one another. Maybe use this powerful platform for good.

[speakeasybreathefreely]

I have a terrible memory when it comes to details.

I could be working on a project for work and if it’s not visually in front of me, I can forget all of the details about it.

It’s terrible, I look like an idiot. That’s all.

[speakeasybreathefreely]

Whoa

2020 has been a hell of a wake up call for the world. Saying it has been a “shitshow” would be a bit of an understatement.

I only hope we can grow from this and make true, postive change in the future. This decade could be the best one yet if we challenge ourselves to rise to the occasion.

Maybe we will listen to our medical experts.

Maybe we won’t take the outdoors for granted any more and clean the air, the trees and the sea.

Maybe we will finally understand the importance of washing our damn hands.

Maybe we will appreciate our neighbours in the good and the bad.

Maybe we will educate ourselves on current affairs and strive to make positive change.

Maybe we will listen to our oppressed brothers and sisters and help give them a voice- this time for real.

Maybe we will not only identify corruption in our government systems, but act on it.

Maybe we could finally live in a world that understands one another.

Maybe we could respect one another’s differences.

Maybe, just maybe we can get this whole “humanity” thing right.

Maybe.

[speakeasybreathefreely]

Guys, hair mousse is the OG for a reason.

Why did I ever stop using this magical stuff? I think I finally cracked my hair code by literally just going back to what I originally used to use. What an idiot.

Two years of using a ton of different shampoos, masques, sprays and gels only to realize mousse was there all along.

Also the curl girl hair method is overrated and I can’t follow it.

[speakeasybreathefreely]

Whoa, another year?

Hey there, long time - no reflection on here. 

I always think about this personal blog this time of year.

Big fan of diaries, ya know?

Well, it’s been a few months since I wrote something philosophical on here, so why not add on for the three - no, four...? year mark. (idk)

2019 was quite a year. In comparison with the year prior, it didn’t have quite as monumental highs as 2018, but it was still good to me. No complaints. 

I started 2019 off with turning 24, my favourite number, and I was determined to make it notable. The first goal being - money. 

I started budgeting my money better (hello Excel spreadsheets), I set goals for finances and tried to stay motivated at work as I hit my first ever one-year-at-an-adult-job mark in February (hello increase in pay).   

I was able to budget for the first quarter of the year swimmingly- I set a one-year evaluation with my boss to discuss my performance and my interest in an increase in pay. This ultimately led to agreement, but no raises could be made until at least the following quarter due to budget (#SmallBusinessProbs). With that as ammunition, I kept chugging along. I bought a brand, spankin’ new Toyota RAV4 in April and I am still utterly in love with it, (I’ve put 11k miles on it already). I also got a gym membership for the first time, and I have managed to go at least a couple days every single month of the year. 

Unfortunately, with the new car payment, new healthcare plan and added required 401k savings account from my employer that I qualified for after a year - the purse strings got rather tight. I was having to put away more money every pay check than I had been and still hadn’t gotten a raise.

At the same time, I also had missed the deadline for my company’s annual PTO rollover in January, so my one-year in February didn’t qualify. Instead of a crisp 10 days off like I had anticipated in getting (which is not a lot to begin with), I got 6. 

I did still manage to take some trips though:

I went hiking in New Mexico for the May long weekend and got to take my pup to the mountains for the first time. 

I got to go to my family reunion in Nova Scotia in July and see my parents lake house in the summer for the first time.

And I went on a float trip with my friends from high school in August and got to make new memories and get minor heat stroke (undiagnosed).

By August, the clients I was working for were limited and any talk of new clients often led no where. I was running out of things to do and hitting a wall. Needless to say I was thinking about quitting. I had also gotten more intel from my coworkers that none of them had received a raise in YEARS. As a 24 year old starting out- that wasn’t ideal. So, I started to beef up my portfolio and resume - completely redoing my site with new work samples and copy. I was feeling good. 

Then, the end of September rolled around and I got let go. There was a shortage of work for me to do on a daily basis. The same reason I had been let go in 2017. This time though, it felt like a sigh of relief. I finally could look for jobs freely and not have to worry about staying busy throughout the day.

I had an interview for another job by the next week and after 10 days I had a new job. 

Like they say - “for there to be growth, you have to break out of your comfort zone.” And boy has it been refreshing over here. 

I have a great new team that is enthusiastic and motivated. 

I was able to go home for Christmas to see my family and show my husband my hometown for the first time. 

I have enough income to pay for bills. 

Oh and because I was let go, I fell under a qualifying event to get on my husband’s healthcare which has been really helpful.

There were ups and downs but 2019 was really quite lovely.

Cheers to 2020. 

[speakeasybreathefreely]

Unemployment 2.0

I was let go from the ad agency I was working at for the past year and a half due to lack of work for me. Which is literally the exact same reason I was let go from the prior agency I worked at, but I digress.

Because I was let go though, I could file for unemployment benefits- something I have become fairly familiar with having done it two years ago. 

But for whatever reason, this time has been so much shittier. 

The state of Oklahoma, which is where I became unemployed, changed some of their policies:

Now, you can only file a claim online unlike the last time I filed over the phone with a representative because I was having technical issues with my green card number- which still happened. 

Then, this time I had to show two forms of ID in person at the employment office by the Capitol. The commute and length of times i was turned around trying to locate the correct building was about 30 minutes and I was enormously pissed off by the time I found the building. Google maps couldn’t locate the building and kept changing driving directions on me so it was no help so I had to base it off the image of the building to find it. The only problem is all of the fucking government buildings look the exact same. So I just parked in a staff parking lot and went into the one that seemed the most correct. One elevator ride later I was in the unemployment office which is literally the size of a doctor’s office waiting room. 

The called up a representative to meet me in the room where she then took my two forms of ID, scanned them and had me sign a paper. 

That’s it. 

And the latest issue has been filing my weekly claims online. Something you have to fill out every Sunday to show you have been actively trying to look for jobs and state if you got one. So Sunday night rolls around and I log into my account to file my weekly claim, but the server is down. I try on my phone- same thing. So I waited until Monday to try again, but this time it only has the week prior to the one I’m trying to file listed as an option. I already had filed that week, but because of the server being down I thought maybe the record had been wiped so I went a head and filled it out again. 

This time though, the claim asked if I had been “discharged” from work for the week I was trying to file. I technically had gotten let go that week so I put “yes” but it started asking more questions about the situation and that it will be investigated which makes me think it thinks this is another employer. 

Now, current day. I got a new job and started yesterday! The only thing is, I can’t get online to report it on my weekly claims. 

So I called two of the numbers they have listed on the claims page that it says to use in the case you cannot file online. 

The fucking automated voicemail on the phone says you can only file a claim online. 

So I just emailed asking what to do because clearly this is not connecting somewhere. 

Moral of the story, don’t become unemployed. 

[speakeasybreathefreely]

If you ever want to put yourself or a nemesis through excruciating annoyance, might I recommend filing unemployment- particularly in the state of Oklahoma. Or maybe all of the states are this painful, I’m only versed in the Sooner state.  

[speakeasybreathefreely]

How do you follow up with positions you’ve applied for if they are large companies and don’t provide a number or contact?

[speakeasybreathefreely]

Wall hit

I’ve been very drained at work recently. I want something new and to get out.

Just pack up and move to Vancouver idk

[speakeasybreathefreely]

No offence, but it’s my opinion

[speakeasybreathefreely]

As exciting as being engaged is...

I’m pretty content with having that all said and done and I can just enjoy my life.

With every engagement I see on social media or hear about, I use to be a little annoyed I wasn’t the sparkly new engagement story anymore. And it was like that for a while- But now there is a sense of content with being married and having that big milestone to look back at with fond memories.

I have an amazing husband now and we are a family.

Plus I have saved SO much money since the wedding has all been payed off so that’s been wonderful

[speakeasybreathefreely]

Annoyed

My office hired an intern to help our team upstairs with researching content, writing blogs and general help with projects.

She has worked with us for two and a half weeks now and generally has done a great job! She needs assistance for direction, as she is still in school and not a working professional. Still very much so learning the ropes, like an intern should be doing.- She is also only in the office until noon, so her assignments need to be easy enough that she can work on them before her classes and then leave for the day. And the bottom line is- she is an INTERN.

Today, my coworker went into said intern’s office and requested she have a marketing plan done by tomorrow. He then left the office without instructing her further or giving me a heads up.

So of course she came into my office confused on where to go from there. And with a due date like that, I was obviously surprised and annoyed because now I need to move my work back to assist in this- which I will happily do for the intern’s benefit, it’s not her fault he tasked her with this. But I’m high-key pissed he left this for us to deal with.

You cannot honestly think you can assign an entire marketing plan to an intern that has worked at your business for almost three weeks to know how to write something like that. She had zero direction. Not to mention marketing plans are very extensive- I haven’t even written up one for our company.

And the fact that he left the office.

I’m soooo annoyed by this. That is not fair to put on an intern that we aren’t even paying (which is not legal for the work she is doing by the way) and give them a due date by the next day. She is only here for three hours for god sake.

So any way, I’m pissed off.