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April Joy

April is the time to make new beginnings,plant seeds, grow and expand upon new ideas and projects.  Caregivers are especially happy for  warmer weather just right to take loved ones on car rides or short walks in gardens, beaches and parks.

Find the joy in life’s simple things, sit and watch the budding trees, plants and flowers, springing to life. Pay special attention to Blue Jays, Woodpeckers and Red Robins.  Listen to the music of nature.  

Create a potted garden in your yard or balcony, try planting cherry tomatoes, basil, string beans, lettuce, or radishes.  Enjoy yummy fresh produce within weeks.

Find joy sharing a piece of gum or candy (as long as it’s not a choking hazard) while you sit and watch children play. 

Snack and flip through magazines on a warm day in a sunny spot by a lake.

Put down the electronics for an hour a day, unwind, reset, and begin again with a new attitude of freshness.

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April Joy

April is the time to make new beginnings,plant seeds, grow and expand upon new ideas and projects.  Caregivers are especially happy for  warmer weather just right to take loved ones on car rides or short walks in gardens, beaches and parks.

Find the joy in life’s simple things, sit and watch the budding trees, plants and flowers, springing to life. Pay special attention to Blue Jays, Woodpeckers and Red Robins.  Listen to the music of nature.  

Create a potted garden in your yard or balcony, try planting cherry tomatoes, basil, string beans, lettuce, or radishes.  Enjoy yummy fresh produce within weeks.

Find joy sharing a piece of gum or candy (as long as it’s not a choking hazard) while you sit and watch children play.

Snack and flip through magazines on a warm day in a sunny spot by a lake.

Put down the electronics for an hour a day, unwind, reset, and begin again with a new attitude of freshness.

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Monthly Caregiver Guidance

Every year I hear people talk about resolutions for the New Year.  As a former caregiver I learned to take each day as it comes.  I understand its good to have goals and expectations.  I also know I no longer plan to set myself up for failure.   My parents didn’t raise a looser, I am an achiever in whatever the task at hand may be. Like many caregivers already know, they are a rare form of breed.  You have to be a tough, organized, adaptable, loving, caring, kind, compassionate  individual to care for another human being. 

Life is full of stressors and being responsible for a person’s daily care and needs is an additional full time position.  Did you know that most caregivers  put in enough hours to works two full time jobs?  Most people put in the hours and don’t complain, although they may feel like they are sandwiched in between various roles and drowning in seas of circumstances.  The demands of everyday life, and chores wear caregivers down.  The commutation to and from the office, the errands on the weekends, the dishes, cleaning, laundry, phone calls, emails,  doctors appointments, hospital visits, dispensing medications, supplies, groceries,and financial duties all rely on usually one person, YOU!

So for the New Year of 2018 relinquish any small task that you can.  Order on line groceries, have your dry cleaning and medications delivered.  Forget about cooking nightly, learn to make ahead dishes, freeze and reheat during the week.  Even better make two main entree’s and add different sides each night. 

During the months of January and February make it a point to gather and prioritize all receipts, insurance, medical and financial information. This assists with tax organization and preparation.  File your taxes early if you are due a refund. Also if you are seeking respite for your care recipient, start calling facilities as soon as possible, waiting lists can be long. 

March is a good time to get rid of clothes and items that no longer suite your needs. Begin to store winter clothing, and check out the spring wardrobe. If you haven’t used it or worn it within the last 2 years, its time to chuck that stuff.  Find a good home for items that may serve others by donating to a local organization preferably one that picks-up. Daylight savings time happens on the fourth.

April is the time to start planting bulbs in the ground or in pots. Think about your garden, and lawn cleanup. Flowers and plants add beauty to the environment. Your care recipient can help with the planting. Don’t forget to file the taxes. Take some time off and schedule nothing except that with is essential.

May brings us Mother’s day, Memorial Day,  and folks are in vacation mode. Great time to start the spring cleaning from ceiling to floors, tackle one or two rooms a week.  Let your care recipient help, with simple tasks they can handle without frustrations.

June hosts graduations, weddings, backyard barbecues, full summer swing.  Get outside as much as possible and enjoy the warmer weather and nature. Take you caree out for more drives, walks and park visits.. 

July and August are warmest of all months.  Stay hydrated and keep moving, there is so much to do with your loved ones, even if you guys are just sitting in the sun, enjoying the day, listening to music or reading a book. Get outside early and avoid the heat during the midday.

September and the kids are back in school most vacations are over and if you don’t love the heat, you’re probably ready for Autumn. Enjoy the changing colors and cool evening breeze. Pull out the coloring book for some extra fun.

October and the leaves are falling.  Yard work is plentiful and the holidays are right around the corner. Skip Halloween if the candy is to much temptation, head to a mall and watch the little goblins and ghouls.  Start making plans for Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Ask loved ones to help with crafting decorations.

November and December, time to prepare for the holiday  craziness, parties, and feasts again.  Reminisce about all the things you are thankful for that you experienced in the year. Be grateful for the lessons learned and the people that were there for you. More importantly be gentle, kind and loving  with yourself, just as you are to the one you care for.

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Holidays with Alzheimer’s and Dementia:Caregiver Tips

This time of the year is great for celebration and gift giving.  When you care for someone else you may not be experiencing all the joy. If your caree was diagnosed with Alzheimer's or Dementia you know how easily they may become upset, especially when changing routines.  So it's important to keep your loved ones calm and happy while all the hustle and bustle of coming and going surround our homes.

Here are a few Holiday tips to assist caregivers:

Place this list on a sign as people enter the home

Designate a time frame for the festivities.

Have appropriate lighting in each room.

Ask visitors to approach your loved one slowly before engaging with them.

Let guests know how to best communicate with your caree.

One and one interaction is easier.

Sit down to have the conversation, don’t stand above the person.

Don’t try to force the person to remember.

Don’t show anger or disappointment if you are not remembered.

Tell people to introduce themselves and discuss everyday things.

Keep the conversations light and pleasant.

Ask guests to shake hands first, before going in for a hug.

Let your guests know what your loved one enjoys.

Place a picture album out for review.

Alert guests that if they feel your caree is becoming irritated to please let you know.  This allows you the opportunity to step in and provide relief, like moving your loved one into a quieter space if they become overwhelmed. Frequently check in and let your caree know you are near, so they are not fearful.  

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Every generation should prepare for the silver tsunami is here!

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Caregiver Loneliness During the Holidays

The holidays are hard for many caregivers, especially the first holidays without their loved ones.  When you spend your days caring for others who depend on you, how do you get through the holidays?  For many former caregivers, including myself, the pain is often devastating.  You long to hear their voices, the stories they used to tell, the smiles and hugs once received.  Even during your most difficult times of caregiving, the holidays bring up feelings of joy and sharing the love of the ones you once cared for. Winter often brings SAD, seasonal affective disorder. The weather becomes cold, darkness occurs earlier and many people become depressed.  On top of everything, you now have the holidays without your caree.  You may still be grieving the loss of your loved one.  Caregivers often suffer the loss of the dear one, with a host of emotions, questions, guilt, and loneliness.    However, you don’t have to be completely miserable even though you may be alone. Find joy in the little things.  Remember the love and care you shared with the person.  The look or words of kindness you imparted to each other, how grateful they were you cared for them.  How thankful you were to be blessed and how you were enabled to provide care.  The role of caregiver is sandwiched between so many other roles, and yet you persisted through it all.  Until the final days. Now is the time for you to celebrate their life, honor them during this time.  Recreate or add to the family traditions.  Make a memorial of past holidays and remember the joy shared.  Celebrate and prepare to bring in the new year! Create your bucket list, jot down all the things you wanted to do in the past but couldn’t because of your caregiving responsibilities. Pick one item from your list and vow to make it happen in 2018!  If that’s too much to handle, schedule yourself a monthly massage, manicure, weekend getaway and just enjoy.  Be thankful that the person you cared for is no longer suffering.  If you are spiritual know the individual lives in your heart and remember the last thing they would want is for you to be unhappy, during “the most wonderful times of the year.” caregivers loneliness holidays