spearmints-and-orange-peels

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nsfw sideblogs r so funny. my friend we can't talk here it isn't safe.. we have to go to sex world together

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Mom's tongue in your throat

As a treat

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[A tall woman walks into the reception area of the rubbermon laboratory, a look of resolve on her face.] Receptionist: Hello there, do you have an appointment?

Woman: If Dr. Sylvia is available, I would like to ask her a couple of questions. I made up my mind about what I want.

Dr. Sylvia: Hello, [name]. I can tell by your demeanor that you have made up your mind. I take it our private appointment was convincing?

Woman: Yep! I know what I want! But, hrm, it might be a little far-fetched? I'm not sure about a specific procedure being possible.

[Dr. Sylvia's ears perk up.]

Woman: So... I want to be a houndoom. I want it to be purpleish-indigo, a permanent visor, and a speaking apparatus like the one you have.

Dr. Sylvia: All of which is perfectly doable, certainly.

Woman: My big question, though-- since the suit is permanent... do I *need* skin underneath?

Dr. Sylvia, curiosity seeping into her voice: Well, no, you don't, it's not necessary for health once all is said and done, but it's an extra step that doesn't really need to be done. I have my skin under all of this. Why do you ask?

Woman: I want transparent panels that show off my flesh.

Dr. Sylvia, immediately flicking on her visor and wrapping a ribbon around her tail so it doesn't wag involuntarily: [attempting to hide the giddiness in her voice] Well, that certainly sounds interesting. Hm... Hm....... I'll be right back, I am going to speak with my boss.

Woman: O-oh?

[The woman sits in the office for about 20 minutes before Dr. Sylvia comes back in with a clipboard, loaded with paperwork.]

Dr. Sylvia: We will be compensating this procedure for you. We also would like to offer you a job opportunity.

Woman: Whoa, what does that entail?

Dr. Sylvia: You get to be my demonstration buddy. I see a great benefit in having you be my coworker, since my own procedure doesn't properly cover the more, eh, nitty-gritty details of it. If you would like to serve as an anatomy guide, please sign here.

Woman: Oh my God, yes please??

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Oops I embarrassed her

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When people talk about Affini and what Sci Fi could survive against them, they neglect that there is exactly one sci fi species that the Affini would have no power over : Kerbals

They have 2 stats, Courage and Stupidity. Their entire society is centred around building rockets and going into space. Kerbals are happiest when launching themselves at mach 12 into a planets surface. Their greatest joy and honour in life for a Kerbal is being selected to go live on a cramped probe 50 metres away from falling into the sun.

There is nothing the Affini can provide that would make them happier than flying around their solar system in tin-can rockets and cardboard capsules

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Roommate 1 (petting her cat) "I wish I were a cat. He gets to lounge around all day, free food, toys to play with, lots of pets. There's not a single thought in that little head."

Roommate 2 (also petting the cat) "Yeah, if I got turned into a cat, I wouldn't want to change back."

Me, eyes bloodshot, veins bulging, struggling to hold back the tide pounding against my social filter "Yeah haha that would be cool"

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parent: my son is fine

excuse me, but your daughter is starting to idolize the idea of being a plant’s pet

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Reblog and bark if you want to be clicker trained by a kinky tgirl

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Today’s emotion is: shy florets that fluster easily.

You all are so cute and make just the most adorable noises when being treated like the pets you are~

Good floret~

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okay now THIS is what i'm talking about

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Edge a girl and make her choose between cumming or hearing her clicker.

If she chooses to cum, just get her off.

If she chooses the clicker, praise her for being so well trained, touch her body all over and give her so so many little kisses.

Make denial so overwhelmingly blissful that she'll choose it over cumming every time.

[spearmints-and-orange-peels]

Edge a girl and make her choose between cumming or hearing her clicker.

If she chooses to cum, just get her off.

If she chooses the clicker, praise her for being so well trained, touch her body all over and give her so so many little kisses.

Make denial so overwhelmingly blissful that she'll choose it over cumming every time.

[spearmints-and-orange-peels]

Edge a girl and make her choose between cumming or hearing her clicker.

If she chooses to cum, just get her off.

If she chooses the clicker, praise her for being so well trained, touch her body all over and give her so so many little kisses.

Make denial so overwhelmingly blissful that she'll choose it over cumming every time.

[spearmints-and-orange-peels]

really want someone to use my inexperience with both drugs and sex against me and get me high and hold me down and play with me while i barely can tell whats going on

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getting bottom surgery so i can keep my tail plug in while i get fucked

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getting bottom surgery so i can keep my tail plug in while i get fucked

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Today a very friendly Golden Retriever came up to me and I said "hey buddy :D" and the owner asked "do you know each other?" like his dog had a social life he didn't know about